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Parenting

Mom explains her 'potentially dividing' decision to parent her kids like it's 1985

She shares 8 specific ways she's giving her kids an '80s childhood.

Images via Instagram/ @vanessaeves

Mom of 2 Vanessa Eaves shares 8 ways she is parenting like it's the 1980s.

Parenting was very different back in the 1980s. From latchkey kids to "roaming free," it hardly can compare to raising kids today.

But one mom is trying to emulate parenthood from back then. Mom of two Vanessa Eaves (@vanessaeves) shared with her followers that she is parenting her children like it is 1985.

In a post that resonated with fellow parents, Eaves laid out eight ways that she is turning back time while raising her kids. "Time to rewind 40 years 🙃🙃 Here’s 8 (potentially dividing 🤭) ways that I parent like it’s the 1980’s," she shared.

Eaves shared that the eight key things she is focusing on with her kids are:

- I don’t buy them lots of stuff
- I teach them resilience
- I seriously limit tablet time
- I’m not giving in to requests for an XBox
- I won’t be getting them a smartphone
- I like them wearing bare feet outside
- I let them be bored
- I don’t stress if their vegetables are just carrots & cucumbers on repeat

She shared her open and honest reasons why these eight pillars work best for her and her family, and explained more about her process. And many fellow parents love her take. "Agree with each and every point 🙌," one commented. Another added, "I’m glad I’m not alone! I do pretty much all of these."

Eaves wants to create a childhood experience similar to hers. "I grew up in New Zealand in the 80’s and we had the most wonderful childhood—always outside, in nature and using our imaginations for play," she tells Upworthy. "Too many kids these days spend too much time inside and far too much time on screens, so I’m just trying to take the positive down-to-earth aspects of how I was raised, mix it with common sense and modern day life and be aware of what we’ve learned from recent studies on the impact of technology on children."

She adds that this has worked with her kids and maintains an open dialogue with them about it. "We’re honest with our kids about our approach and they understand that too much screen time is not healthy, so they respect the boundaries when we give them limited time on their tablets," she says. "Kids are amazingly adaptable—they enjoy the freedom to be creative and get bored enough to invent their own fun."

Eaves has noticed more positives than negatives from raising her kids like it's the 1980s.

"I also hope for my kids it will instill independence, confidence, a strong sense of self and knowing what’s right for them. And resilience is key!" she adds. "I grew up with my grandparents around who fought in the war and they had no option but to be resilient. They never complained, showed a lot of gratitude and got on with life. Life is very different now but building resilience is still a core part of preparing them for adulthood—that and developing a growth mindset."

And by sharing her parenting perspective, she's been met with a lot of positive feedback.

"I've had a huge amount of support from other moms and people in agreement on various aspects of the post that they relate too," Eaves shared. "Some have found it a relief to know that there's other parents out there who are striving for a more wholesome childhood for their kids without too much technology or screentime."

Images via Canva

Boomers and Gen Jonesers share worst things about the 1970s and 1980s.

Baby Boomers (those born from 1946 to 1964) and Generations Jones (those born specifically from 1954 to 1964) are two generations who remember what it was really like to live through the 1970s and 1980s. Nostalgia can put a rose-colored tint on the times. And for a lot of people, living through these two decades weren't all sunshine and rainbows.

In an online forum of people born after 1980, member Mundane_Bad_2437 posed the question: "For those who didn't like the 70s or 80s, why?" They continued, "I know that most people look back at the 70s and 80s as the good old days. But for anyone who actually lived during those decades and didn’t enjoy them, I’m really curious, why? What was it about that time that didn’t sit right with you? Just wondering what it was really like from the other side."

And Boomers, Gen Jonesers (and some Gen Xers) chimed in with their honest thoughts about some of the negatives about living through the two decades. These are some of the most interesting takes on why people didn't like the 1970s and 1980s.

1970s, 70s, life in the 11970s, 1970s picture, 1970s nostalgia Historical Studies, Reports, & Plans (U.S. National Park Service) www.nps.gov

"We always thought nuclear war with Russia as just a day away." - Evelyn-Bankhead

"Don’t forget those god awful leg warmers we thought were cute. Ugh." - kisskismet

"The cigarette smoke. We're all going to die of lung cancer." - valley_lemon

"Aids was a drag...." - PedalSteelBill2

"All but one of my gay friends died of AIDS. My best friend died in my arms. It was an epidemic." - wild-fury

"Shoulder pads. Have you seen the ugly cars from that decade? Chernobyl. Columbia Space Shuttle - and the empty promises of flying cars and trips to the moon and Jetpacks in our future." -Old-Bug-2197

chernobyl, chernobyl photo, chernobyl accident, chernobyl pic, chernobyl history 02790015 | Historical collections of the Chernobyl accident … | Flickr www.flickr.com

"I was a child in the 70s a teen in the 80s and I find all the 'good old days' comments coming from people who weren’t there or they were wealthy. The 70s had a lot of anger about Vietnam and Nixon, and fear about gas prices and inflation. Women were marching for equal rights and the men who came back from the war were pissed off. It wasn’t like the 70s show. The 80s were better economically but Reagan really messed things up and played up fear. As teens we could see this trend being bad and fearing for our future as so many adults were taken in by his charisma. It wasn’t the good old anything. There was more hope that technology might somehow make things better but there was fear too. It wasn’t perfect. We were not all about concerts and big hair. We were worried for our futures because the advice our parents gave us sounded too good and easy to be true, 'just go to college and your life will be great' and here I’m 54 and still up to my ears in college debt because my parents never helped pay for it even though they promised me they would. My job under pays me and all of their advice on how to adult was based on different times." - ArsenalSpider

"Sexism, so much sexism. The whole emancipated working woman was a scam, we were nothing but dolls meant to prop up a company. The hair maintenance alone took a fifth of your income…Watch Dolly Parton’s movie 9 to 5, and imagine that without the fun parts. Just working harder than any man, and still getting paid less. Just having to laugh at those sexual innuendos, and trying to 'politely' tell a man three times your age that you don’t want to 'stay for another drink'." - EnvironmentalEbb628

- YouTube Check out the official 9 to 5 (1980) Trailer starring Dolly Parton! Let us know what you think in the comments below. ▻ Watch on ...

"Women were consistently paid less for the same jobs." - SusanBHa

"I grew up in NYC in the '70s and '80s. As much people miss that version of the city it was kind of rough. Budget cuts. Dirty streets and subways with reduced service. Crime. The Great Lawn in Central Park was practically a dust bowl. Graffiti. Abandoned buildings. Lost jobs. Schools in decline. I was a kid in Queens and didn't really notice, aside from the gas shortages. But I can see people who grew up in the 50s and 60s not looking back on that period fondly." - damageddude

"I think people really don't remember or understand the high inflation rate and high unemployment of the era. When inflation went over 9% in 2022, people freaked out. I understand it was the shock, after prices being stable for so many years, but the inflation rate soon moderated after a year or two. Prices didn't go back down, but they aren't going up as quickly as they were in 2022. Now, imagine that inflation happening every year for several years in a row. That was the latter part of the 70's and early 80's. Then, when Reagan took office, his federal reserve chairman jacked up interest rates to kill inflation, which it eventually did, but it drove the unemployment rate over 10%. It was awful. As a high schooler, it was hard to get a job at a fast food place, as they were hiring adults for many of those jobs (the adults taking those jobs were unable to get jobs elsewhere...)." - SpiceEarl

"Nostalgia filters out the crap. But the 70s and 80s weren’t some golden era for everyone. Tons of people felt stuck—bad economy, sky-high inflation, racism and sexism baked into every system, cold war paranoia, no internet to escape into. Mental health? Not even a real conversation. Therapy = 'you’re broken'. Queer? Good luck. Different? Get bullied. Yeah, music slapped and the aesthetics were cool. But life for a lot of folks was survival wrapped in disco lights." - Thin_Rip8995

1980s, 9180s work, 1980s office, working 1980s, 1980s nostalgia Office workers in the early 1980's | This is a photograph of… | Flickr www.flickr.com

"Handling the details of life was much harder & took much more effort. I wouldn't trade the technology we have now for the best we had then." - PearlsRUs

"I enjoyed the 70s and 80s, largely because I was a teenager and a twenty something. My biggest complaint about that time was all the tobacco smoke in restaurants and bars and pretty much everywhere." - dweaver987

"I was very young during the 60s, and I loved all the peace, love, and creativity I saw happening. I was going to be a hippy when I grew up. Then they disappeared sometime between 70 and 80. I blame platform shoes and shoulder pads. What good hippie would hang around for that???" - Ok-Half7574

"The 80s f*cking sucked. Everyone was materialistic and shallow as hell and that's literally what was cool -- see Madonna's 'Material Girl.'" Yummy_Castoreum

- YouTube You're watching the HD Remastered music video for Madonna's "Material Girl", directed by Mary Lambert. Original song taken ...

"At the time? Vietnam, Watergate, gas shortages, stagflation, student loans with 18-20% interest, and the existential dread of the Cold War. But the music was amazing." - JustAnotherDay1977

"Loved the 80’s. 70’s were kind of depressing. Ugly colored clothes, browns, avocado greens, and harvest gold. Also for appliances. Not all music was bad, not enough regular rock, a lot of sleepy drug music (Jim Morrison)." - CanadianNana

Culture

Boomers and Gen Xers share 30 things they don't miss from the 80s and 90s

"Using those Noxzema pads to burn and dry out my pimply face. It had a smell, too."

Images via Canva

Boomers and Gen Xers discuss the things they don't miss from the 1980s and 1990s.

Nostalgia is all about remembering how things were in the "gold old days." But sometimes, upon further reflection, some things really sucked in the past despite how rosy our colored glasses made them look. Boomers and Gen Xers are reminiscing on the things they really don't miss from the 1980s and 1990s.

Over on Reddit, member pizzagamer35 posed the question to Boomers and Gen Xers: "What is something you do NOT miss from the 80s-90s?"

Boomers and Gen Xers had plenty of throwback experiences and products they are happy to never come across again. These are 30 of the most nostalgic responses from Boomers and Gen Xers about things they don't miss about the 80s and 90s.

landline, landline phone, 90s phone, phone call, retro phone Saved By The Bell Laughing GIF Giphy

"Long distance phone bill." —gohdnuorg

"Having to wait until after 7pm or whatever so you could call your long distance friends because it was free after that." —raz0rbl4d3

"Answering the landline and having no idea who's calling. Just raw, unfiltered anxiety." —Fit-Interview-3886

"Not having GPS." —recrysis

"Smoking or non smoking and still be in the smoking section." —Less-Lengthiness4863

smoking, smoke, cigarettes, smoking section, smoking 90s mothers day smoking GIF Giphy

"Using those Noxzema pads to burn and dry out my pimply face. It had a smell, too." —poizon_elff

"Waiting for JPGs to load one line at a time." —timmayd

"Those hair ties with the two giant plastic beads on them that EVERY mom used to tie up their daughter's hair in pigtails. God forbid she lose her grip on one while she was already ripping your soul out through your scalp." —Honey-Badger-90

"Third degree burns from metallic seat belt fasteners." —JLMTIK88

"Not being able to use the internet if someone needed the phone line to be free." —Joshawott27

internet, internet 90s, dial up internet, old internet, slow internet Girl 90S GIF Giphy

"Satanic panic." —Historical_Spot_4051

"Buying a CD and realizing all the songs suck, except for one, maybe two." —11B-E5

"Batteries and flashlight bulbs. Holy crap they were crap. I still remember seeing the little LED light on our shitty car radio and asking dad what kind of light that tiny dot was. He told me it was a diode and diodes kinda 'last forever'. I immediately wondered why the hell we weren't developing that tech." —snoozieboi

"Shoulder pads." —Thin_Apartment_8076

shoulder pads, shoulder pad, 80s shoulder pads, 90s shoulder pads, vintage style Mc Hammer Dancing GIF by Jukebox Saints Giphy

"Ordering pizza by calling the restaurant and yelling your order to a guy in a noisy kitchen. Missing an episode of your favorite TV show (or forgetting to tape it if you had a VCR) and not being able to see it until summer reruns, or maybe never." —Imaginary-List-4945

"Terrible contact lenses." —MandatoryMatchmaker

"To contribute something small: manual computer defragmentation. It took several hours and you couldn't do anything else." —rena-vee

"Pay Phones that gave you limited talk time." —Aggravating-Iron9804

pay phone, payphone, payphones, payphone, 90s phone Season 3 Marge GIF by The Simpsons Giphy

"Gym class. Boys were expected to know how to play sports. My dad taught me how to fix tractors and cut firewood, but he didn't teach me sports because no one ever taught him. The gym teacher didn't teach us sh*t. When we f*cked up or didn't know what to do, the jocks would laugh and the teacher would join in the fun." —Fluffy-Cupcake9943

"The 'heroin chic' body type." —Heartbreak_Star

"Panty hose." —Kitty-haha

"Aqua net=hair that absolutely did not move! And you could see little hairspray bubbles 😔🫠😂😂." — IAmTheBlackStar1979

"Having to rewind VHS tapes like it was a part-time job." -—Repulsive_Corgi_6187

vhs, vhs tape, vhs rewind, rewinding vhs, vhs rewinding Animated GIF Giphy

"Waiting by the radio for your song to play so you can record it on tape." —mycrml

"Serial killers. They just can't exist at the same level anymore. Plus we got all the lead out of stuff. So now people are 100% normal. 100%." —PrimeNumbersby2

"Manual roll up/down windows in cars." —Human-Average-2222

"Carpeted bathrooms. someone shared a bunch of pictures of them on some nostalgia account and i could smell the pictures through my phone 🤢." —GoblinHeart1334

"Busy signal on the phone." —crjconsulting

Culture

Gen X is the 'most stressed' generation but studies show they're also the toughest

The 'Coolest Generation' is dealing with the rigors of middle age with their trademark adaptability.

via Wikimedia Commons

Gen X is the most stressed generation, but also the best equipped to deal with it.

It's official: People are more stressed out than ever. Technology, a wildly unpredictable economy, political division, and changing family dynamics have us all on edge, and it's doing a number on our mental health. But there is one group that, for at least the past decade, seems to be taking on more than their fair share of the stress.

Generation X, people born between 1965 and 1979, are America's goofy middle children sandwiched between the much larger Baby Boomer and Millennial generations — both of whom get a lot more press. Gen X prides itself on being individualistic, nonconformists committed to a D.I.Y. ethic whether that means writing a punk 'zine or launching a tech start-up.

(If you just asked yourself "What's a 'zine?" you're clearly not a member ofGen X.) It's a generation marked by an aloof cool where any personal slight can be written off with a "whatever" and one that's deathly afraid of taking anything too seriously. It's a generation that was so put off by the corporate, commercial culture of the '80s it rebelled by wearing second-hand clothes and ironically embracing low-brow '70s culture.

gen x, gen z, millennials, generations, generational differences, culture, 1980s, 1970s, 1990s, childhood, adulthood Gen Xers are a particularly proud generation. Giphy

It's the generation of hip-hop, Tiger Woods, Quentin Tarrantino, the re-birth of punk rock, John Cusak movies, and Atari. Not a bad resume at all!

A big reason Gen X is so self-reliant is that it's the generation hardest hit by divorce. According to a 2004 marketing study it "went through its all-important, formative years as one of the least parented, least nurtured generations in U.S. history."

Gen X was the first generation that experienced both parents working outside the home. But, unfortunately, at the same time, childcare centers and afterschool programs had not yet emerged to a significant extent. That's why you hear so much folklore about 80s kids being allowed to run feral throughout the neighborhood or even the whole time. This is the "come home when the streetlights come on" generation, and it shows.

Now, the "Coolest Generation" finds itself somewhere between 42 and 56 and is hitting middle age. Unfortunately, that means it's now the most stressed generation in America.

Although, in true Gen X fashion, many refuse to let anyone see they're stressed.

An extensive study by Penn State showed that stress began to hit Gen X sometime in the last decade. The 2012 study discovered that Gen X had an average stress level of 5.8 (out of ten) while Millennials (3.4) and Baby Boomers (4.4) were a lot calmer.

gen x, gen z, millennials, generations, generational differences, culture, 1980s, 1970s, 1990s, childhood, adulthood For such a chill group of people, Gen X has to deal with a lot.Eric Nopanen/Unsplash

It's not just the anxieties of hitting middle age. An even more recent study shows that the trend hasn't changed in the last decade as all of the generations have aged. In 2021, 22% of Gen Xers admitted to daily struggles with stress followed by Millennials (17%), Gen Z (14%), and Baby Boomers (8%).

The APA's Stress in America Report from 2023 indicates that Gen Z may be coming for the throne soon, though, with major financial and loneliness issues weighing them down.

gen x, gen z, millennials, generations, generational differences, culture, 1980s, 1970s, 1990s, childhood, adulthood Watch and learn, Gen Z. Giphy

A big reason for the stress is having to take care of multiple generations. Many Gen Xers have to care for their aging parents as well as their children who are just starting to make their way in a world that's become much harder to afford. And that's to say nothing of Gen X's own money worries. Even though they're starting to reach retirement age, many members of the generation are woefully far away from having enough money saved up. One estimate says the average Gen Xer is about $400,000 short of what they'd need to comfortably retire. Talk about a stressor!

Gen X may have aged its way into the most stressful part of its life, but things could be a lot worse. There's no group of people better equipped to deal with stress.

When executives at Nike studied Gen X it found the generation's hallmarks are "flexibility," "innovation," and "adaptability." "They have developed strong survival skills and the ability to handle anything that comes their way," the study says.

Gen Xers may think that's just a bunch of corporate B.S. However, it's true. Gen X grew up during the AIDS epidemic, the end of the Cold War, the Challenger disaster, the late '80s and early '90s crime wave, 9/11, the Great Recession, COVID-19, and managed to survive after "My So-Called Life" was canceled.

gen x, gen z, millennials, generations, generational differences, culture, 1980s, 1970s, 1990s, childhood, adulthood It was a very sad day when "My So-Called Life" was pulled off the air. Giphy

We've survived tough times and we'll make it through these as well. Just got to follow the advice of Gen X's poet laureate, Tupac Shakur: "And it's crazy, it seems it'll never let up, but please, you got to keep your head up."

We can also look forward to grabbing a big box of popcorn and enjoying the massive Millennial meltdown that happens when they hit middle age. It's not going to be pretty.

This article originally appeared four years ago. It has been updated.