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Navy sailor's plea for help finding his dog sparks debate when rescue family refuses to give him up

Who has the "right" to keep Archie: His original owner, or the people who cared for him for months?

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The Internet helped a man find his missing dog. But the family who rescued him didn't want to give him up.

Finding good, reliable dog sitting is difficult under normal circumstances. Who can you really trust to take care of your dog? Will they be safe? Will they be scared while you're gone? When you're a soldier in the US military deployed for months at a time, dog-care can turn into an actual nightmare very quickly.

No one knows this better than Paulo Silva, a US Navy soldier who was recently deployed on an aircraft carrier in the Middle East for eight months. While he was away, Silva trusted a relative to watch his five-year-old Golden Retriever and certified bestie, Archie.

When Silva returned home, excited to reunite with his best friend, he was shocked to find the dog gone.

dogs, golden retriever, puppy, soldier, us navy, social media, facebook, viral, heartwarming, love, familyArchie, a 5-year-old golden retriever, became the unwitting subject of a social media custody battle. Photo by Mitchell Luo on Unsplash

“A family member that was well-trusted felt they had no choice but to give away my dog,” Silva told the Asbury Park Press. “At no point was I told about it (before returning home) and I had asked time and time again about him." The relative told Silva that Archie was having trouble settling in, but the decision still came as a massive shock. Worse, Silva's relative couldn't or wouldn't provide him the contact information of the family he'd given Archie to. In interviews, Silva hasn't said much about the reasoning behind these cruel decisions. All he knew was he was scared and left scrambling.

Silva posted a desperate plea to Facebook for anyone with information to contact him. Then social media did what it always seems to do in stories like this one: it delivered.

The post went mega-viral, being shared all across different social and professional networks in the area, and before too long, Silva received tips about where he could find his dog. Not too long after that, Silva and Archie were joyously reunited.

What a perfect happy ending for this feel-good social media story, right? Well, not quite.

It's easy to root for the storybook ending, but there's another family at the other end of the story. For them, it's anything but a fairy tale.


When the tipster first reached out to Silva with Archie's whereabouts, there was one problem: the people who had taken Archie in didn't want to give him up and wouldn't respond to messages.

He had been adopted, apparently freely, by a young woman and her boyfriend when Silva's relative decided to find Archie a new home. In their minds, Archie belonged to them, fair and square, and after months of love and snuggles and care, they had bonded deeply with him. They were sorry for the situation Silva found himself in, but they weren't going to simply "roll over."

Silva then wrote an open letter to Archie's new family, pleading his case.

"This dog isn’t just a pet to me. He is my heart, my companion, and a piece of my soul that helped carry me through some of the hardest times in my life. We’ve been through everything together—before my deployment, during training, and through the toughest emotional battles. That kind of bond is irreplaceable," he wrote.

"I love this dog more than words can express—more than life itself. First, I want to say that I appreciate that you’ve cared for my dog. I have no doubt that you’re good people and that you’ve offered a safe and loving home. But I need you to know that this wasn’t supposed to happen. I was never asked, never informed, and never had the chance to speak up or say goodbye. I left for duty trusting that my dog would be waiting for me when I came home. I’m reaching out publicly not out of anger, but out of heartbreak. I am respectfully asking you to please consider returning my dog to me. I know this isn’t an easy request, and I understand that emotions may be involved on both sides—but I am pleading with you, not just as a veteran, but as someone who lost something deeply precious to them without any choice or voice in the matter."

According to the Asbury Press, Silva was considering legal action if the couple didn't return Archie.

Eventually, the woman and her boyfriend who had adopted Archie decided to return him to Silva. They were heartbroken about the decision.

Even worse, beyond just losing the dog they loved, Jamie Goldstein and her boyfriend were cast as villains in the now-viral story. They began receiving hate messages and public pressure to turn over the dog. While some people threw their support behind the couple's right to keep Archie, many more sent nasty messages and threats.

After they decided to send Archie back to his original home, Goldstein shared an emotional letter of her own on social media.


"He is the sweetest boy and everyone who has met him can attest to it. I love this dog with all my heart," she wrote. "Archie was never stolen, he was given to my boyfriend, we just loved him as our own. ... I can only imagine how Paulo felt when he came back from serving our country & didnt know where sweet Archie was. This feels like a mourning. I miss you so much already, I hope you are safe & getting all the love you deserve, baby Archie. We miss you so much."

Although the couple ultimately did the right thing, it's hard not to feel deeply for them and their loss. Their quick love for Archie was so apparent, and it's unfair that things unfolded the way they did.

As for Silva, he's incredibly grateful for the family that took Archie in and loved him for those many months.

"I do not see them as villains and you shouldn’t either," he wrote in another post. "I know their hearts were in the right place. Thank you both for loving Archie as your own. I will always be grateful for that. I will never stop showing you guys my love and support."

He even offered to arrange an "open door policy" so the couple could visit Archie any time they wanted.

While the story is full of debate and heartbreak, there is one clear winner: Archie. What a lucky pup to be so loved by two different families. If anything, the story speaks volumes about how quickly and powerfully pets can find a place in our hearts. It also ends with mutual kindness, both in the couple returning Archie and Silva handling the conflict with grace. It may not be your typical feel-good social media reunion, but it's got plenty of silver lining.

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No one seems particularly happy about Tinder's new filter, for many different reasons.

Can we agree that no one really "likes" using dating apps? It's just that there aren't many better options anymore, and that's saying something because dating apps truly don't work very well.

A recent survey showed that about eight percent of people met their current or most recent partner on a dating app or website. That's...a pretty low number, considering these apps have been extremely popular and mainstream for well over a decade. Why aren't they more effective? Well, apps encourage people to look for stimulation and validation rather than real connection. They encourage shallow behaviors and preferences, and they make it easy to ghost and go find someone new at the drop of a hat—or just because you're suddenly not feeling the vibe.

All signs currently point to the problem, and dating apps in general, getting worse rather than better. And the excruciating "women only like tall men!" discourse will never recover from the latest development.

Tinder, widely considered the most popular dating app in the United States, recently added a new and controversial premium feature for some paying users. They'll now be able to filter out potential matches by height.

If you're a paid user with access to the setting in your profile, you'll be able to set a maximum and minimum height for people you'd like to match with.

tinder, dating apps, dating, love, relationships, sex, hookups, bumble, hinge, match, dating tips, online datingTinder is the top dating app in the United States. Photo by Mika Baumeister on Unsplash

Tinder actually isn't the first app to try this. Bumble previously had height filtering as a premium option before eventually removing the feature (though there's still an open spot in your profile to list it). Hinge has a height option as well. And now, Tinder. It's all part of Tinder's new rebrand to be taken more seriously as a way for Gen Z users to find real connection and relationships, as younger generations are less drawn to hook-ups. They're calling it a "broader effort to help people connect more intentionally on Tinder."

(To be fair, the height setting is not a hard filter. It's just a strong suggestion that helps guide the algorithm. It's also, for now, just a test and not a permanent feature.)

The trouble is that height seems to be the only physical attribute you can filter by, which plays into some really nasty stereotypes about heightism and online dating. But hey, preferences are preferences. Luckily, the announcement sparked a firestorm of interest and debate about the new feature—and dating app users have lots of ideas for new filters they'd like to see in the near future.

Weight filter

Yes, this is the obvious joke suggestion that's been made all over the Internet in response to Tinder's news. But it's kind of fair. Who gets to decide which physical preferences are offensive and which are legitimate?

Salary/Net income filter

It's perfectly reasonable to want a partner with a stable career. But do we really care about the actual career or do we just want to make sure they make enough money? Honestly. Some users would like to see a salary slider in the settings to weed out anyone who can't match their lifestyle, or who might get weird about splitting the bill on the first date.

Hair and eye color filter

You might prefer a partner with dark hair, and that might show up in your swiping preferences. But why bother swiping when you could essentially just erase light-haired people from your entire world with a filter? After all, what really matters is efficiency and saving everyone time.

Cup size / penis size filter

OK, look, I didn't say it, but this one has come up on all the dating app subreddits many, many times. Sometimes in jest, sometimes not...

Abs filter

It's not enough to be able to see whether someone has abs or not in their photos. To save everyone time and maximize efficiency, we should just auto-filter them out if they don't have a six-pack. Or, conversely, if you're not down with eating chicken and broccoli for every meal, you can filter the gym-heads out from the get-go.

Fishing/hunting filter

Women on social media have been clamoring for this one for a while, and would surely pay top dollar. We've got AI technology now; there's no reason we can't tell that a guy is holding a fish or a severed deer head in his photo and promptly remove him from the queue. The filter can work overtime for if someone's holding a gun.

Conversely, you might be really into these things, and the filter could end up working in your favor, too.

tinder, dating apps, dating, love, relationships, sex, hookups, bumble, hinge, match, dating tips, online datingA hunting/fishing filter on Tinder: Who says no? Photo by luis arias on Unsplash

Onlyfans filter

Similarly, there's got to be a way to run text analysis on a profile to find out if the person is hawking a paid NSFW profile online somewhere.

Married filter

You'd think this wouldn't be necessary, but here are we. One survey recently found that an astounding 65% of Tinder users were married or in a relationship. Whether they're polyamorous, looking for a third, cheating, or something else... can we auto-scan the photos for a wedding ring or something? Run the names against a marriage license database?

Spelling and grammar filter

There's no reason that Tinder and Bumble couldn't partner with Grammarly and give us a sense of people's reading or literacy level, filtering out anyone who doesn't meet a certain standard.

Old photo / heavily filtered photo filter

Surely, we have the technology for this. If people are misrepresenting the way they look with fancy filters or outdated photos, then premium users should reserve the right to have those people removed from their queue. If the photo was taken with an Olympus digital camera circa 2002, let the filter do its thing!

tinder, dating apps, dating, love, relationships, sex, hookups, bumble, hinge, match, dating tips, online datingSome users want the Tinder algorithm to weed out people with old or heavily filtered photosUnsplash

Some of the new filter ideas are clearly ridiculous. Others might actually be helpful. But put them all together and it paints a pretty bleak picture of modern dating.

Having preferences and likes or dislikes is totally fine, and a natural part of dating. The idea is that you're supposed to find these things out with your eyes or by actually talking to people and learning about them. Being genuinely curious about another human being you find attractive and interesting is part of the process. Skipping that by adding preferential filters that remove more and more people from your orbit is antithetical to what looking for love is supposed to be all about. And maybe that's exactly what Tinder and the other apps (many of whom are owned by the same corporation) are going for.

NPR cleverly points out that we shouldn't forget dating apps are run by for-profit companies. When two people meet on the app, fall in love, and settle down together, the app loses two crucial users. Keeping people frustrated, stuck on the app, and desperate enough to pony up for "premium features" and better filtering is the better move for them—and of course, spotlighting a few happy endings here and there just to give everyone some hope.

"Heightism" definitely exists in the dating world, and especially on apps, but it definitely seems like Tinder is intentionally stoking that fire to boost their paid user base. Now you've got short guys that are hurt and pissed off, and women that are sick of being accused of being shallow for their legitimate preferences, and everyone's angry at everyone else. It's a move that ultimately drives us further apart.

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Small everyday actions can make the world a better place.

Acts of kindness—we know they’re important not only for others, but for ourselves. They can contribute to a more positive community and help us feel more connected, happier even. But in our incessantly busy and hectic lives, performing good deeds can feel like an unattainable goal. Or perhaps we equate generosity with monetary contribution, which can feel like an impossible task depending on a person’s financial situation.

Have you ever felt guilty because you don't spend enough time volunteering? Or maybe because you can't or don't give much money to charity? It's not a good feeling, and you can sometimes feel stuck not knowing what to do about it. But being kind and generous to others doesn't have to be hard, or take much time, or cost anything at all.

One social media user recently posed the question: “what’s a small act of kindness that literally anyone can do/practice everyday?” and people gave some brilliantly simple ideas.

Here are eight easy-to-accomplish crowdsourced answers that might bring us one step closer to a more peaceful world:

1. Be aware of your surroundings.


acts of kindness, kindness, humanity, charity, people, humans, culture, love, happiness, altruismMake space for other people around you.Giphy

Either move with the flow of traffic or get to the side if you have to situate yourself.” – @JoeMorgue

Americans, in particular, seem to get obsessed with the idea of "winning." Walk around and/or faster than the next person, or refusing to give way. It's a really kind and considerate move to make space or other people to exist comfortably.

2. Use headphones when taking public transport.


acts of kindness, kindness, humanity, charity, people, humans, culture, love, happiness, altruismBe mindful of making noise in public spaces.Giphy

"If you don’t have them - you can go 20 minutes without making excessive noise while sharing a small space with other people.” – @cynthiayeo

Often there's no law or rule in place that "forces" you to do the polite thing, like minding how much noise you make on an airplane or public transport. But it's a simple thing to do that goes a long way for the people around you.

3. Give compliments.


acts of kindness, kindness, humanity, charity, people, humans, culture, love, happiness, altruismGive genuine compliments often.Giphy

“If you have a charitable thought about someone, even a stranger, say it out loud to their face. It is free, it is easy, and it might be the best thing that has happened to that person all week. Nothing creepy or overtly sexual or flirty, just kind words. ‘That shirt is really your color! Your haircut is beautiful. I appreciate your help, you were a real lifesaver!’ It doesn't cost you anything and it means the world to the people you are talking to.” – @Comments_Wyoming

Everyone loves receiving genuine, no-strings-attached compliments! In fact, we often think about them all day, or even for longer. Don't withhold praise — give it freely and openly, when you really mean it.

4. Hold doors open for people.


acts of kindness, kindness, humanity, charity, people, humans, culture, love, happiness, altruismHold the door for everyone.Giphy

Makes a big difference in one's day.” – @sconnie64

Holding doors isn't just for gentlemen out on a date. Hold doors for everyone equally; it's a really sweet and polite gesture.

5. Don’t act on “road rage."


acts of kindness, kindness, humanity, charity, people, humans, culture, love, happiness, altruismDon't give in to the road rage.Giphy

After several years of commuting I came to the realization that with a few exceptional days, I always got home at the same time. Regardless of how many people ‘cut me off’ or drove too slowly and whatever. I started to just ‘go with the flow’ and always let people in when needed, always give extra room, and just enjoy my music/podcast. Life changing.” – @CPCOpposesAbortion

Who knows what it is about being in a car that just gets our blood boiling. Maybe it's the slight anonymity, a little like being in an internet comment section? In any case, don't indulge. If someone cuts you off, give them the benefit of the doubt and just move on. It was probably an accident anyway.

6. Have patience.


acts of kindness, kindness, humanity, charity, people, humans, culture, love, happiness, altruismShow patience to others.Giphy

You never know what someone else is going through. Could be a breakup, their dog just died, granny finally made it to heaven, or maybe mom just broke the news that she's got end stage cervical cancer and has weeks left to live. You never know, so be patient. After all, wouldn't you want someone to be patient with you?” – @mamalion12

Assuming the best in people is a really good start when it comes to kindness. Most people aren't out to be difficult or rude. Give them a little grace and there's no telling how much they'll appreciate it.

7. Thank the people you live with for taking care of things around the house.


acts of kindness, kindness, humanity, charity, people, humans, culture, love, happiness, altruismSay Thank You more often.Giphy

It doesn’t have to be over the top, but everyone feels better about doing chores when it is noticed and appreciated. ‘Thanks for folding my laundry’ or ‘thanks for always keeping track of our bills, you’re awesome at managing money!’” – @Mrshaydee

This goes for kids, too! When they remember to pick up after themselves, reinforce the behavior with praise. Make time to appreciate your partner and family members, too, no matter how small their contributions.

8. Leave a place you visit just a little bit nicer than when you found it.


acts of kindness, kindness, humanity, charity, people, humans, culture, love, happiness, altruismLeave places a little cleaner than you found them.Giphy

Pick up a piece of litter at the park. Give that mat with a pucker ready to trip someone a little tug to get it to lay flat in the business you're at. Let an employee know when you spot a leaky dairy product on the shelves so they can deal with it. Return someone else's grocery cart.” – @BlueberryPiano

Don't be the "Someone else will deal with it," person when you can be the someone else! It doesn't take any effort at all most of the time to grab a piece of litter. And don't even get me started on returning the grocery cart — it's a basic test of human kindness that too many people fail. It's the easiest thing in the world and saves both employees and the next customer time.

See how easy it can be?! Why don't we do this stuff all the time?

Perhaps surprisingly, the main reason people don’t offer more acts of kindness is the fear of being misunderstood. That is, at least, according to The Kindness Test—an online questionnaire about being nice to others that more than 60,000 people from 144 countries completed. It does make sense—having your good intentions be viewed as an awkward source of discomfort is not exactly fun for either party. You can imagine that complimenting a stranger could easily be interpreted the wrong way, for example.

However, the results of The Kindness Test also indicated those fears were perhaps unfounded. The most common words people used were "happy," "grateful," "loved," "relieved" and "pleased" to describe their feelings after receiving kindness. Less than 1% of people said they felt embarrassed, according to the BBC.

So, maybe with kindness, we need to put our social anxieties away and act without overthinking (to a certain point, of course). Perhaps it’s best to find the simplest actions we can commit to on a daily basis, rather than formulating some grandiose gesture.

This article originally appeared three years ago. It has been updated.

Motherhood

Millennial mom is stunned when grandma compares parenting in the 80s to now

Taylor Wolfe couldn't believe her mom slept soundly without any kind of baby monitor.

@thedailytay/TikTok
"My anxiety could not have handled the 80s."

Raising kids is tough no matter what generation you fall into, but it’s hard to deny that there was something much simpler about the childrearing days of yesteryear, before the internet offered a million and one ways that parents could be—and probably are—doing it all very, very wrong.

What's especially fascinating is that our data and best-practices have gotten so much better over time. Parents in the 80s had no idea that crib bumpers were dangerous, just like their parents didn't know that using whiskey as a sleep aid probably wasn't the best idea! We know better, and yet, we're burdened by the overwhelming amount of knowledge and potential dangers around us.

Taylor Wolfe, a millennial mom, nails this conundrum perfectly this as she asks her own mother a series of rapid-fire questions about raising her during the 80s and the stark contrast in attitudes becomes blatantly apparent.


80s, parenting, millennial mom, motherhood, millennial parens, boomer grandparents, moms, dads, parents, kidsParenting in 2025 is a lot different than in the 1980s. Photo by Alexander Dummer on Unsplash

In a clip posted on TikTok, Wolfe and her mom sit side by side on the couch and have a fascinating discussion.

First off, Wolfe can’t comprehend how her mom survived without being able to Google everything. (Not even a parent, but I feel this.)

“What did we have to Google?” her mom asks while shaking her head incredulously.

“Everything! For starters, poop!” Wolfe says. “Cause you have to know if the color is an okay color, if it's healthy!”

“I was a nursing mom, so if the poop came out green, it was because I ate broccoli,” her mom responds.

…Okay, fair point. But what about handy gadgets like baby monitors? How did Wolfe’s mom keep her kid alive without one?

“I was the monitor, going in and feeling you,” she says. Wolfe asked her mom how she slept without a baby monitor and knowing for certain, at every instant, that she was safe? "We just slept" her mom deadpanned.

@thedailytay

My anxiety would have hated the 80s. Or maybe loved it? IDK! #fyp #millennialsontiktok #parenttok #momsoftiktok #comedyvid

Could it really be that easy? It was for Wolfe’s mom, apparently. Rather than relying on technology, she simply felt her child and adjusted accordingly.

“If you were hot, you slept in a diaper. If you were cold, you had a blanket around you.” Done and done.

Wolfe then got into more existential questions, asking her mom if she ever felt the stress of “only having 18 summers” with her child, and how to make the most of it.

Without missing a beat, Wolfe's mother says, “It's summer, I still have you.”

Cue the tears!

Going by Wolfe’s mom, the 80s seems like a time with much less pressure on parents.


@thedailytay

She had some big feelings. #parentsoftiktok #gentleparenting #satire #fyp #foryoupage #momlife #parents #millennialsoftiktok

From feeding her kids McDonald’s fries guilt-free to being spared the judgment of internet trolls, she just sort of did the thing without worrying so much if she was doing it correctly.

That’s nearly impossible in today’s world, as many viewers commented.

“Google just gives us too much information and it scares us,” one person quipped.

Another seconded, “I swear social media has made me wayyyy more of an anxious mom."

"it's almost like all the technology, and it's advertising, leads to so much unnecessary anxiety" someone added.

Even a professional noted: “As someone who has worked in pediatrics since the 80s, the parents are way more anxious now.”

It's no wonder that parents' mental health is, collectively, in the toilet. We're more stressed today about money, work-life balance, getting into good schools, signing up for activities that gobble up all our time... everything.

Experts say there are ways parents can manage the stresses of modern life, though. Reducing phone and social media use, for starters, is a good way to avoid ruminating on all the potential dangers of the world. Parents are also challenged to push themselves out of their comfort zone by allowing their child more freedom and independence than they'd normally be comfortable with. For example, letting your kids walk to school or go buy something from a store without your help.

I don’t think anyone truly wants to go back in time, per se. But many of us are yearning to bring more of this bygone mindset into the modern day. And the big takeaway here: No matter how many improvements we make to life, if the cost is our mental state, then perhaps it’s time to swing the pendulum back a bit.

This article originally appeared two years ago. It has been updated.