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Nicole Kidman fesses up to the unorthodox phone rule she has with husband Keith Urban

It sounds weird, but the couple has been married for 19 years — so they must be doing something right.

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Keith Urban and Nicole Kidman share one secret that's helped sustain their 19 year marriage.

Long before Nicole Kidman began her long-term relationship with AMC theaters, she was committed to husband and country singer Keith Urban. The two have happily been together since 2006—which is a good run for any modern day marriage, but most certainly a Hollywood one. Celebrity marriages have been shown in some studies to be more likely than your average relationship to end in divorce. These marriages certainly feel volatile to us normie outsiders. When big-time celebrities split, it's often very public, all over entertainment news and TMZ, and often pinned (rightly or not) on steamy affairs with other celebrities.

So for Kidman and Urban to be going strong almost 20 years later, it indicates they're definitely doing something right inside their home. Perhaps their nearly decades-long success can be partially attributed to one surprising communication rule: no texting.

While appearing on the Something To Talk About podcast in 2023, Kidman shared that she was the one who initiated the unconventional agreement to (almost) never send text messages to each other.

nicole kidman keith urban, nicole kidman, keith urban, marriage, communication, marriage tips, divorce, celebrity marriage, love, family Keith Urban and Nicole Kidman look really happy together, but like any marriage, it takes work. Giphy

"We never text each other, can you believe that? We started out that way – I was like, 'If you want to get a hold of me, call me…"I wasn't really a texter.,” the Moulin Rouge actress shared.

She added that while Urban did attempt texting her a few items early on, he eventually switched when Kidman wasn’t very responsive. And now, 18 years later, they only call each other.

“We just do voice to voice or skin to skin, as we always say. We talk all the time and we FaceTime but we just don’t text because I feel like texting can be misrepresentative at times…I don’t want that between my lover and I,” she told Parade.

There are, of course, some pros and cons to calling over texting. Research has shown that people who call feel more connected to one another vs. texting, with the voice being an integral component of bonding.

As our society becomes increasingly more distant and lonely, finding those moments might be more important than ever.

At the same time, calling can invoke a lot more anxiety compared to texting, which could lead someone to not communicating at all. Also, I don’t know about you, but the thought of having to call my partner for mundane things like “don’t forget the eggs” would drive me crazy.

Still, Kidman is right that texting can be extremely fraught for anyone in a close romantic, family, or friend relationship. Tone is hard to gauge and it's easy to misinterpret someone's intention when you read their messages. Jokes can come across as serious statements or passive aggressive jabs. It's also easier to be snarky and combative over text when you don't have to look the person in the eye and sit in the discomfort.

Finally, Kidman and Urban may just be in that generational sweet spot where they're not big on texting. The couple are closing in on their 60s, making them elder members of Generation X. People in that generation, while tech-savvy enough, sometimes aren't as fluent in the nuances of texting tone, punctuation, and emoji use, which puts them at even greater risk of being misinterpreted and running into conflicts.

Kudos to them for being self-aware enough to dodge that minefield altogether.

Regardless of whether or not you adopt Kidman and Urban’s no-texting rule, perhaps the bigger takeaway is that relationship longevity depends on being able to establish your own rules.

One that feels good and that each partner is able to stick to. Especially when it comes to communication.

Some couples swear by the old "never go to bed angry," school of thought. Others have unique rules or schedules to keep the romantic side of their lives before. There's no universal right way to do it, but the couples who communicate and come up with their own guardrails are definitely on the right track.

As Urban himself told E! News at the CMT Music Awards, "I have no advice for anybody. You guys figure out whatever works for you…We're figuring it out. You figure it out. Everybody's different. There's no one size fits all."

Luckily, there are many ways to have good text hygiene, without having to do away with it completely. Very Well Mind suggests to avoid texting too many questions, and to be respectful of your partner's schedule (probably best to not text them while they’re sleeping just to say “hey,” for example). Nor should texting be used to argue or deal with conflict. Lastly, probably save the lengthy, in-depth conversations for a phone call. Fifteen heart emojis are totally fine though.

This article originally appeared last year. It has been updated.

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There is a three hour window of time when most dying people pass away.

Death is hard to think about and harder still to talk about. Some people get panic attacks just imagining the inevitable end of their life. It's an extremely uncomfortable and inescapable fact of living. For some people, learning as much as they can about what it's like and how it works is the one thing that brings them a little bit of comfort.

That's where Julie McFadden comes in. McFadden has been working as a hospice nurse for nine years. She has been educating people about the dying process on social media for almost as long, racking up millions of views with her gentle, reassuring, and highly informative FAQs.

In a recent video, Hospice Nurse Julie tackles a big, scary question: What time do people usually die? And can we actually predict someone's time of death?

"When is the most common time to die? I think you might be surprised what research says," she begins the video.

McFadden says even she was surprised when she started digging into the data and research. She noted that in her own work, she hasn't really seen a trend, but after poring through studies and speaking to colleagues throughout the hospice industry, she was taken aback to discover there was a clear answer to her question.

"Research and anecdotal evidence... it does show that most people die between 2 a.m. and 5 a.m.," she says. She explains that some professionals refer to this window as the "letting go hour."

Other studies and experts have a slightly different take, citing the most common time as 6 a.m.—8 a.m., or even peaking at 11 a.m. But the truth remains that there is a definitive pattern of a high percentage of people passing away in the wee hours of the morning or middle of the night.

- YouTube www.youtube.com

"So, why does that happen? That's where my brain went. And to me, the reason why is the most fascinating part," she explains.

There are a few different factors, McFadden says, that explain such a narrow death window. The first relates to the normal cycle of our body's energy and alertness.

"Biologically, we have a circadian rhythm... And between the hours of two and five, that is when our body's energy level is the lowest. Our temperatures drop, our blood pressure drops, and our breathing slows."

She mentions that those late night/early morning hours are also typically very quiet, without a lot of interruption and stimulation that might unwittingly keep a patient engaged with the outside world. "There's less people kind of trying to hold you there."

The dying person's personality also plays a role. McFadden says she sees over and over that some patients will wait until the entire family arrives before they "let go," while others will wait until things are quiet and they're alone. More outgoing people may wait to be surrounded before they pass, while introverts may prefer to pass in solitude. For the folks who prefer peace and quiet, those nighttime hours make a lot of sense.

death, dying, death doula, hospice, hospice nurse, mortality, aging, seniors, love, family, fear, afterlife Learning about death is uncomfortable, but it helps us in the long run. Photo by Sijmen van Hooff on Unsplash

McFadden then shared a pretty wild story of a patient of hers who "chose" when to die. Viewers then chimed in with their own.

Most people who have lost a loved one absolutely insist that dying people are aware of, and have some level of control over, when they decide to let go. You should watch McFadden's video to hear her best story, but the comments were full of even more.

"My good friend Donna was dying in hospice from a brain tumor and a week before she passed things looked pretty grave so she wasn't expected to last another 2 days. Her sister was by her side and said it's okay you can go but she opened her eyes and said no I'm not going yet I'm waiting for my birthday, I'm dying on my birthday. Her birthday was a week away and no one thought she would make it but she did. Her sister whispered in her ear 'today is your Birthday Sis you made it' and then she passed within the hour," one user shared.

"My grandmother was actively dying for two weeks and held on until the wee hours of the first of the month. She was concerned about getting her social security check to help the family," said another.

"About a week before my 93 year old mom died, she adamently said a few times to me and others she was leaving the following Tuesday. At first I thought she meant she's going out... That Tuesday comes and it was clear she was probably not going to make it to end of the week. I was aware of her comments from the week before but didn't think it would happen that day. She died at 11:12 pm that night, on the day she said she was leaving. She knew."

"While not quite the same thing as 'predicted,' my mother said 'they' told her when she was going to pass away -- to the minute. 'They' being the people visiting her and promising to help her during her visioning experiences. She said they had shown her where she was going to go. She died at exactly the time her visioning-visitors had told her."

The stories shared by the hundreds in the comments to McFadden's video are heart-wrenching, but ultimately extremely hopeful.

@hospicenursejulie

Replying to @skinnysketch19 the transitioning phase #hospicenursejulie #caregiversoftiktok #dementia #education #medicaltok #learnontiktok #science #STEM

McFadden doesn't want her viewers who may have a loved one who's dying to be more anxious and nervous during the night, worrying and potentially losing sleep.

"People are going to do it when they do it. Their body is going to let go when the body is ready to let go. All you can do is be there for your loved one the best you can."

She reiterates that, even for someone like her who has seen and helped many patients cross over from this world to the next, that death is a mystery. As much as we can continue to learn and understand new aspects of it, we'll never fully know what it's like until we experience it ourselves.

This article originally appeared in June.

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Different ways to express the language of love.

Move over, "physical touch." There are a couple of newer love languages in town. The question is, how are any of these so-called languages quantified? In the never-ending effort to understand one another, people have come up with various ways to learn how to connect and empathize. For Carl Jung, it was his book Psychological Types. For John Gray, it was Men Are from Mars, Women Are from Venus. And for Baptist pastor Gary Chapman, it was an early ’90s book called The Five Love Languages: How to Express Heartfelt Commitment to Your Mate.

In this extremely popular self-help book—it sold over 20 million copies—Chapman wrote about how couples (and this could also apply to friendships, family, etc.) give and receive affection. The "love languages," as he famously named them, are: "Words of affirmation, gifts, quality time, acts of service, and physical touch." Of course, most people have a combination of preferences, but the idea is that if one could rank them, the people in their lives could know how to best express love.

In the last couple of years, as mentioned, two new love languages were revealed by the online dating site eharmony's "Dating Trends Report." They are: "Shared Experience," and "Emotional Security." The report explains that after surveying clients, "Nearly half of respondents aren’t sure the five love languages encompass the way they express and prefer to receive love. Shared experiences (adventuring and expanding yourself with someone) resonate most as a new love language (38%), followed closely by emotional security (feeling emotionally seen and taken care of) (35%)."


But there's a catch. There are plenty of researchers who claim there isn't enough scientific support to back the idea that love languages even really exist in the first place. While Chapman's notion might have been created as a relationship tool, some say none of it is rooted in empirical evidence. Despite the book's popularity, in an article by Gery Karantzas, associate professor in social psychology/relationship science at Deakin University, for The Conversation.com Karantzas writes, "Let’s turn to research testing a core premise of the love language theory: that couples with matching love languages experience greater satisfaction than those who do not. Evidence for this premise is very mixed."

In fact, Karantzas cites three research studies, "including one that used Chapman’s Love Language Quiz, [that] have found that couples with matching love languages were no more satisfied than couples who were mismatched."

Not shockingly, people have some opinions on Reddit. Just two months ago, an OP posted, "Love languages aren't real and we really need to stop pretending they are." They cite a post on Medium that discusses how dangerous the notion can be, as it encourages people to settle for less than what they want. "Oh he never compliments me? That's just his love language." (A 2024 article for BBC's The Science Focus, agrees with this take, noting that leaning too heavily into love languages could actually harm your relationship.)

love, love language, romantic, dating, relationships A man and a woman hold hands at sunset. Photo by Ryan Holloway on Unsplash

The OP's post got over a thousand upvotes and hundreds of comments. Many agree, but there is quite a lot of pushback. One person writes, "Do I think they're scientifically bogus? Yes. Does it provide a decent conceptual framework for people to communicate what resonates most with them in terms of receiving and reciprocating love and acts of care? Also yes. Like pretty much everything the public and social media spheres get their hands on, these concepts become weaponized."

This person puts it succinctly: "All models are wrong, some are useful. Love languages is a flawed model of human psychology but a useful way to communicate needs between two people."

Another added onto the initial agreement, writing: "Right, it's not gospel or fact, but it's a good approach to starting conversation about the division of labor in a relationship."

Lastly, this person backed up the OP with this one quip: "If love is a language, I'm mute."

Kids

"He's a baby genius": 3-month-old stuns mom by perfectly repeating full sentences

The boy's sister couldn't believe her ears and began sobbing uncontrollably.

Photo credit: Canva

3-month-old baby repeats full sentences, shocking mom and social media.

Babies can't talk. This isn't something that needs to be studied and researched, it's a pretty common fact of human existence. The reasons babies cry is because they can't talk to tell us what they need, at least that's what the general understanding has been for centuries. Not only their brains, but their bodies lack the development and coordination needed to form complete words and sentences.

But what if some babies could talk and we simply haven't been exposed to them because the world is so big? Thanks to social media, the world has gotten a whole lot smaller when it comes to being able to take a peek into other people's lives. This means we get to be exposed to things that may otherwise gone unseen.

Mekeia, a mom of two, uploaded a video of her then 3-month-old son talking. Not the cute baby babble that we like to call talking, but repeating actual short sentences.


baby talk; talking baby; video of talking baby; echolalia in babies; baby repeats mom; talking infant; family; parenting What if babies could actually talk? Some of them can... sort of. Giphy

Mekeia was recording her daughter playing with the baby when they captured the moment on video.

The little girl holds the baby's face and says, "say I am two months," before Mekeia corrects her, "say I am three months," the little girl pipes back up. Clearly the baby was trying to join in the conversation with what was expected to be baby babble when the mom instructed the older child to let the baby have a chance to "talk." It was then that the baby shocked everyone by sounding like he repeated the same phrase.

The two are visibly and audibly shocked not wanting to believe the baby actually repeats what the other child says. Mekeia is on the phone with a friend when the entire thing happens. Presumably thinking this is a fluke, the mom attempts to put the phone up to the baby's mouth. When he just babbles, she tells the baby, "say hey Bam." Nothing. Just more babble and drool.

Just when you think your ears were playing tricks on you, the baby does it again when the mom tells him to say, "hey Quintin." Clearly the baby still sounds like a baby but you can clearly hear him repeating the sound and cadence of the words so much so that it sounds like he's fully saying the words. His older sister is overwhelmed with emotion and begins to cry while Mekeia seems to be so shocked that she begins to laugh while the person on the phone is just stunned into confusion.

@foxondemandfam

Watch until the end 😱omg🥹🥰!!

People in the comments were eager to jump in with exclaiming the baby is a genius with one person writing, "he is a baby genius start showing him math problems."

Another person jokes, "next thing he's writing emails and making appointments."

"Talking so clear would scare me sooo bad he's so intelligent," someone writes.

Others explain the phenomenon with a condition called echolalia.


@foxondemandfam

He growing too fast , I didn’t have time to baby proof the house 🥴🥴 #babymessiah #babiestiktok #mamababysound

"Echolalia is a normal part of child development. As children learn to talk and understand words, they imitate, copy or echo the sounds and words they hear. Over time, a child usually learns to talk by connecting new words together to make unique little phrases or sentences,” according to Speech and Language Advisor Claire Smith when interviewed by the BBC.

Sometimes this phenomenon rears its head extraordinarily early. Mekeia's daughter was just three months old in the video above. Another popular video from a few years ago shows an 8-week-old infant from the UK very clearly saying the word "Hello" in response to his parents. A 7-week-old from Ireland was shown doing the same in 2015.

While echolalia can be a sign of autism, that's not always the case. Many kids grow out of it by the age of three and continue their typical development.

What's really interesting is when kids start to actually understand and utilize language intentionally at an extremely early age. A boy named Michael Kevin Kearney was said to be talking by around 4-months-old, even asking his parents "What's for dinner?" He went on to become a certified child prodigy, received a masters degree in chemistry at just 14, and secured his doctorate at the age of 22.

Most babies who repeat words shockingly early are not little geniuses in the making, just good mimics. Much of the time, they're not able to consistently repeat the feat once the clip goes viral on social media.

But you can't blame the parents, and social media users, for getting excited. It's adorable and fascinating to watch in action!

This article originally appeared last year. It has been updated.