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‘Against their beliefs’: Parents won't let daughter go to boy’s Taylor Swift birthday party

“Like what religion is out here saying, ‘Thou shalt not listen to Taylor Swift?’”

via Jolene Dolo (used with permission)

Popular TikTokker Jolene Dolo.

A TikTok video by the mother of a gender non-conforming son is a masterclass in refusing to be baited into a confrontation, no matter how tempting it may be. It all started when TikTokker Jolene Dolo’s 8-year-old son, Sam, sent out invitations to his Taylor Swift-themed birthday party.

Jolene told Upworthy that Sam doesn’t have a favorite Swift song, but his favorite album is “Lovers.”

“My 8-year-old Sam is having a Taylor Swift birthday party, and yesterday I received a text message from a parent of a child who was invited letting us know that their child will not be attending because it is against their beliefs,” Jolene began.

“I'm not exactly sure what belief system you have, like what religion is out here saying, ‘Thou shalt not listen to Taylor Swift?’” she continued.

Even though Taylor Swift is probably the closest thing to being America's Sweetheart, a quick search on the internet reveals she is a threat to some with extreme religious and political views.

Top 5 Taylor Swift conspiracy theories:

1. She’s secretly a queer woman in love with model Karlie Kloss.

2. She’s working to swing the election for Joe Biden.

3. She’s a Pentagon psychological operative manipulating the minds of Americans.

4. Her success as an unmarried businesswoman in her 30s is a bad example for girls and young women.

5. She performs witchcraft on stage.

Even if the parents aren’t conspiracy theorists, they may think that an 8-year-old boy having a Taylor Swift party is wrong because young boys shouldn’t be into “girly” things.

@jolenedolo

They are allowed to have their beliefs and i’m allowed to have feelsing about their beliefs. I didnt try to change their mind, i just wanted to talk about it on MY page. Tha ks for listening ❤️ #taylorswift #gendercreativeparenting #taylorswiftparty

After reading the cryptic text, Jolene and her husband could easily have let curiosity get the best of them and asked the parents why a Taylor Swift-themed birthday party was against their beliefs. But they were strong and didn’t take the bait.

"Me and my husband talked about it and we decided that their text message seemed a little confrontational because they could have just said 'No, thank you, we will not be attending.' It seemed like they probably wanted a response from us and we didn't want to give them what they wanted," Jolene said.

Further, the declined invitation was better for everyone involved. Who wants someone at a Taylor Swift party who doesn’t like her or what she may or may not stand for? “We do not want anybody coming to our party who is going to be feeling uncomfortable or making us feel uncomfortable so you know it's a good thing,” Jolene continued.

On a deeper level, the story touches on an important topic. Why is it okay for young girls to look up to men, but young men can’t look up to women? No one would bat an eye if a young girl had a Jonas Brothers-themed birthday party, but many people are shocked by a young boy loving Taylor Swift.

“Are little girls not allowed to listen to male artists, or is it just like certain male artists who give off like, masculine vibes? Because I've always found it kind of weird that we don't want boys liking women like that or looking up to women. What's the problem in boys liking women?” Jolene asked.

The TikTokker believes the double standard is rooted in misogyny. “Society tends to see women as weaker or less than men, so a boy looking up to a woman is essentially below him in their eyes,” Jolene told Upworthy. “That's why most people wouldn’t bat an eye at a girl who likes Spider-Man or had a Harry Styles-themed birthday. Meanwhile, boys are shamed for even participating in women-dominated hobbies and interests.”

The good news is that, in the end, the party went off without a hitch and the decorations were fabulous.

@jolenedolo

Taylor swift birthday party for my 8 year old son #taylorswift #taylorswiftparty #gendercreativeparenting

Taylor swift birthday party for my 8 year old son #taylorswift #taylorswiftparty #gendercreativeparenting

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Upworthy Weekly podcast: Harry Styles' teacher, optimistic women live longer, jam of the summer

What are Alison Rosen and Tod Perry talking about this week? Optimistic people live longer, George Lucas’ thoughts on happiness and Victoria’s real secret. Listen and subscribe today!

Upworthy Weekly podcast for June 18, 2022

In an episode that's filled with self-help advice, Alison and Tod learn that people who have a positive outlook tend to live longer. They also examine “Star Wars” creator George Lucas' thoughts on happiness.

Plus, a songwriter named Jax has written the "jam of the summer” that reveals Victoria's secret and Tod’s mind is blown by avocado toast.

Subscribe now on Apple Podcasts, Google Podcasts, Spotify, Stitcher, or iHeart Radio.

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Pop Culture

Harry Styles heard his 'first teacher' was in the audience, so he stopped a show to find her

She taught him when he was 4.

via Wikimedia Commons

Harry Styles in 2013.

The impact teachers have on our lives lasts a lifetime. Even though most schoolteachers instruct countless children throughout their careers, they remember how the students affected their lives, too. A perfect example of this is the exchange between pop megastar Harry Styles and his first teacher from primary school on June 15.

Between songs at his concert at Emirates Old Trafford stadium in Manchester, England, Styles stopped the show to find someone in the audience. It was no easy task, there were 74,000 people at the show.

"I'm going to ask a favor from you because I'd like to try and find someone in the audience," he said, according to CBS News. It was his “first-ever schoolteacher” Ann Vernon. The gig was a homecoming for Styles, who grew up in nearby Cheshire, and he was told that some of his former schoolteachers may be in attendance.

Styles scanned the massive crowd for Vernon until he saw someone he thought was her. Unfortunately, it was her colleague, Mrs. Bailey.

"How are you? I heard you're retiring,” he called out to the person he thought was Vernon. “I'd just like to thank you for everything in those formative years. And yeah, thank you so much, it means a lot to me that you're here tonight."

"Can you imagine dealing with me when I was 4?" Styles joked. He then dedicated his next song, “Canyon Moon,” to his former teacher.

Even though Vernon wasn’t at the gig, she got Styles' touching message. Bailey called her and shared a clip of the exchange. After the concert, Vernon appeared on "The Zoe Ball Breakfast Show" on BBC Radio 2 to talk about what it was like teaching young Styles.

"As a teacher, you remember all of the children that you've taught, all of them are amazing in their own way," Vernon said. “Harry obviously has gone on to mega, mega things—everybody at Hermitage is just so, so proud of him." She recalled that he was a “delight” and that he had “a cheeky sparkle in his eye, he was a little bit of a tinker some of the time but he was a character so that's for sure, we all remember him.”

A big part of Styles' appeal is that he’s a nice guy who will "take a walk on a Sunday through the afternoon" with you. Some might have thought that it’s just an image he’s trying to sell the world, but it’s pretty easy to believe it’s true after seeing him stop a show to salute one of his teachers.

He was also gracious to his audience whom he thanked for coming to a show near where he grew up.

“This is an absolute pleasure to be here at my home show, I cannot begin to tell you how much it means to me to play here tonight and all of you for coming,” he said, according to Yahoo News UK.

“Some of the happiest times of my entire life have been making these last couple of albums, and some of the happiest times of my life have been right around the corner from here. So it feels pretty perfect to me playing these songs to you here tonight,” he added.

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'Tina, she's gay!': Harry Styles helped a fan come out to her mom in spectacular fashion.

Although Harry Styles is British, he's certainly an American sweetheart. The former One Direction star did something truly special for a fan during one of his concerts this July, making hearts swoon yet again.

Styles briefly interrupted his San Jose, California, concert to help a fan come out to her parents.

Grace, 18, made a double-sided poster sign for her 10th (!!!) Styles concert of the summer. The sign read, "I'm going to come out to my parents because of you!"

Styles noticed the poster and stopped the music. After asking Grace for permission, he read the poster aloud. He then asked Grace for her mother's name. (It's Tina.) Then after quieting the crowd, he shouted: "TINA, SHE'S GAY!"

At the time, Tina was in a hotel room a few miles away, but that didn't stop Styles from supporting Grace's efforts.

"Tina says she loves you," Styles told Grace in front of the packed stadium. "Congratulations. I'm very proud of you."

Grace filmed the whole thing. When she reunited with her mother at the hotel, Grace came out as bisexual and showed her mom the video. Tina's response was beautiful.

"Yes, I do love you," Tina told her daughter, "and you can be whoever you want to be."

While Styles has never "felt the need to label" his sexuality,  he has always been outspoken in his defense for LGBTQ rights.

In an interview with The Sun, Styles expressed support for Miley Cyrus's coming out as pansexual. "Being in a creative field, it’s important to be ­progressive," he reportedly said. "People doing stuff like [Cyrus] is great."

In November 2017, he made a passionate speech during a concert in Stockholm expressing his love and support for his gay and transgender fans."If you are black, if you are white, if you are gay, if you are straight, if you are transgender — whoever you are, whoever you want to be — I support you," Styles said.

While performing in another concert in Washington, D.C., Styles defiantly waved the trans flag and in Philadelphia, a "Make America Gay Again" flag.

Through his celebration of all identities, Styles is helping more people be more comfortable in their own skin. That in itself is worth applauding.

After the show, Grace tweeted her gratitude to Styles and said that his advocacy for the LGBTQ community helped her gain the courage to come out. "Thank you so much for creating an environment where I am proud to be who I am," Grace tweeted. "Your continuous support of the LGBTQ+ [community] has helped me come to love myself and feel safe."

In an interview with BuzzFeed News, Grace said she had only come out to a very few select friends before the concert. But coming out to her mother gave her a huge sense of relief. "Coming out was very liberating," Grace said. "I felt like a huge weight had been lifted off my chest. I'm very happy with who I am."

Stepping up as an affirming ally of the LGBTQ community makes a difference. Harry, thanks for spreading the love.

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