disney

Look, like many, I have utterly loathed Disney’s live-action remakes. In my opinion, they have either been a lazy, frame-by-frame rehashing of what we already know (“Beauty and the Beast,” “Lion King”) or the original essence is lost in trying to be cutting edge or topical (“Mulan”). Either way, audiences young and old are robbed of that special feeling promised by the Disney brand. Instead, we’re left wondering if we’ll ever have that feeling again.

This is, sadly, exactly what I expected for Disney’s live-action remake of 1989’s “The Little Mermaid.” To be more specific, I expected to get a wondrous performance by Halle Bailey as Ariel, which would ultimately be drowned out by mediocre storytelling.

And honestly, why shouldn’t I? Even before the movie premiered, there have been some questionable choices, such as changes to the song lyrics (not inherently bad, IMO, but would lead me to wonder if the songs themselves were dulled in some way), and having the animal characters like Sebastion and Flounder look like they belong in National Geographic…which I guess is still technically Disney nowadays but just ain’t right, ya know?

Headlines that have rolled in since the premiere, cleverly calling the film a “shallow,” “not bad…but not good,” and “poor unfortunate remake” certainly didn’t lessen my skepticism. All that to say, I went in thinking I’d come out completely unchanged, unmoved and unimpressed.

Boy, was I pleasantly surprised.

(Avast! Mild spoilers ahead, though I was purposely cryptic throughout.)