upworthy

autism

Community

Mom proudly watches autistic son bring down the house singing Ariana Grande karaoke on first cruise

"POV: you started off the cruise as a shy karaoke novice but by the end became a karaoke legend thanks to the best backup strangers ever."

Image via Canva

Young man with autism sings karaoke on his first cruise.

Anyone who's been on a cruise knows that there are endless activities you can participate in while at sea. And for 19-year-old Kevin (@raisingkevin_), a young man with autism and ADHD, there was one activity that he was absolutely drawn to while on his first Caribbean cruise–karaoke.

Kevin's mom and main caretaker Tola documented his first time on a cruise and the impact his joy and enthusiasm for singing on the mic had on everyone. Not only was he embraced by a group of total strangers, but he personally transformed from a timid performer to a 'karaoke legend' by the end of the voyage.

"POV: my son is 19 and has a diagnosis of autism & ADHD. Here he is on a Caribbean cruise in a room full of 'strangers' singing karaoke as off tune as possible without a care in the world," she wrote in the caption.

In the video, Kevin is holding a mic and passionately singing Ariana Grande's song "Dangerous Woman" to an entire room full of supportive people who are singing along with him, including his mom Tola. He doesn't waver once, and his mom added in the caption, "As a parent I used to focus on 'shielding' him in the name of 'protecting' him from the 'bad people in the world' but realized that in doing that I was also shielding him from all the 'good people' in the world too."


ariana grande, singer, gif, celebrity, song, karaoke Ariana Grande Wink GIF by The VoiceGiphy

In the comments, Tola shared how the kindness of strangers was the epitome of inclusion. "Kev has never met anyone in this video prior to this trip but here they are cheering him on like he their nephew! Inclusion at its finest! Hope this encourages other parents to be a lil less scared ❤️," she wrote.

Viewers were deeply impacted by Kevin's bravery and the support of strangers.

"I feel this--- I felt me shielding my son, was protecting, but if anything I was holding that bright light back because I see how weird their world is. But-- how can my sweet heart fly if I hold his wings. Thank you for this reminder❤️❤️❤️❤️."

"My lil neurodivergent heart is so full seeing him have a positive public group✨ moment ✨love that for Kev 💕."

In another video from the cruise, Kevin crushed Ed Sheeran's "Perfect" in front of another crowd. And in the comments, Tola shared more about Kevin's love for karaoke during the cruise and the community that supported him. "So [I] asked Kev what his favorite part of the cruise was and he said the karaoke. Shall we now call him karaoke Kev? 🤣 But really one of the best parts of our cruise was seeing Kev get more and more comfortable with singing some of his favorite tunes in front of strangers who became friends ❤️," she wrote.


Ed Sheeran, singer, snap, karaoke, cruiseEd Sheeran Television GIF by The VoiceGiphy

And viewers cannot get enough of his energy. "Kev really got his entire life on this cruise!! 😂" one wrote. Another commented, "I’m so glad he had a good time and opened up he’s a brave soul love ya Kevin and your mom is a wonderful woman for sharing 👏👏🔥❤️😍❤️👏👏👏."

From Your Site Articles
cruise
Health

Woman shares why being 'conventionally attractive' and autistic is 'jarring' and scary

It can be dangerous as well.

via BiancaMcIntyre.com and Canva/Photos

Brian a McIntyre and a man who doesn't understand women with autism.

It’s a common fact that good-looking people have a lot of advantages, whether it’s being seen as smarter and more capable or having a much easier time on dating apps. Good-looking people also have it easier in the workplace, where they are more likely to receive raises and promotions and be listened to in meetings.

It’s taboo for good-looking people to complain about the problems that come with being attractive. Still, Bianca McIntyre, a woman in Australia, says that when you’re “conventionally attractive” and have autism, it can cause potential romantic partners to have disturbing reactions. This can lead the autistic person to become hyper-fixated on their appearance out of fear that, if not for their looks, they’d be ostracized.

McIntyre is a borderline personality disorder specialist who has the disorder and was diagnosed with ADHD and autism later in life. She uses her lived experience to help people through one-on-one sessions, short-form content, educational talks, webinars, and videos. She explained the trouble that happens when you’re conventionally attractive and the person you're dating discovers you are “weird” in a viral TikTok video with over 1.4 million views.

@putting_the_b_in_bpd

Have you had this experience? Have you taken time to unpack the shame that may have come from this type of environment? 💜 #asd #autism #austisminwomen #audhd #puttingthebinbpd #bipittyfriends #nd #neurodivergent #attractiveness

“When you grow up, and you find out that people consider you conventionally attractive, you have an ability to attract people. But then you get to see in real-time as they viscerally find out how weird you are,” she says in the video. “I used the word viscerally because it's this almost cognitive dissonance that happens in real-time, in physical distance, where they can't comprehend how you look a certain way, but you don't behave the way that a person who looks like that should behave.”

She adds that when potential romantic partners go through this experience, they get very angry because they feel like they have been fooled. This can lead to disturbing behavior, such as bullying, and eventually, they leave her. After repeatedly suffering this treatment, McIntyre became fixated on her looks to compensate for her unique personality. “You place all of your value as a human being on what you look like. That's a really difficult thing. That's a really exhausting mindset,” she continues.

adhd and autism, autistic women, attractive women, pretty privilege, depression, shameA woman is upset in her car.via Canva/Photos

Another problem that women McIntyre works with often face is a cycle of hypersexualization, where autistic women find themselves in compromising situations they wouldn’t have entered if they had a stronger sense of self. This dangerous cycle can lead to bouts of shame and depression and lead to sexual victimization.

Some may have a problem with McIntyre explaining the drawbacks of being “conventionally attractive,” but she isn’t denying the advantages. In the video, she understands that speaking about being good-looking is taboo and that there are “inherent positives” to being attractive. But ultimately, she made the video to open a dialog with other women who have struggled with the same issue, especially those who are young.

adhd and autism, autistic women, attractive women, pretty privilege, depression, shameA woman upset on her bed.via Canva/Photos

“I want you to know that you're not alone, and more importantly, if you are a younger autistic woman and you find yourself in this situation, in this headspace, that ‘I am pretty and that is worth more than my personality. My personality is weird, I'm a weird person, but at least I'm conventionally attractive,’” she said. “I really want you to understand that your inherent value does not revolve around whether you can attract, entertain or arouse those around you. Your inherent value comes from being a human being.”

From Your Site Articles
autism
Joy

Costco employees let nonverbal autistic boy scan items after noticing he's overwhelmed

"Today, two Costco employees showed us what kindness and patience really look like. 💙"

Image via Canva/Wikipedia

Mom shares emotional video of Costco employees letting nonverbal autistic son scan items.

Going to Costco can be an overwhelming experience for everyone. Between dodging shopping carts, weaving in and out of crazy traffic patterns, and finding your way down crowded aisles, there is no denying that Costco can be an overstimulating (and anxiety-producing) place. And for TikToker Kels (@kelsmflee) and her 3-year-old nonverbal son on the autism spectrum, their trip was made much more peaceful thanks to two mindful employees who noticed he was struggling.

Kels shared a touching video to her followers on TikTok showing the kindness they were given while checking out during a busy shopping trip. "Most days, trips to the store are overwhelming for my autistic, nonverbal 3-year-old. But today, two Costco employees showed us what kindness and patience really look like. 💙 Thank you for making our day unforgettable," she captioned the video.

@kelsmflee

Most days, trips to the store are overwhelming for my autistic, nonverbal 3-year-old. But today, two Costco employees showed us what kindness and patience really look like. 💙 Thank you for making our day unforgettable. #KindnessMatters @Costco Wholesale #AutismAwareness #ParentingJourney #NonverbalAutism #KindnessCounts #CostcoLove #SpecialNeedsParenting #GratefulHeart #EmpathyInAction

In the video, Kels' son can be seen helping the Costco employee ring up their items. He holds the scanner as the employee holds each item up to him and shows him where to scan each one. "Most people stare when my autistic, nonverbal 3-year-old son has a tough time in stores..." her caption within the video reads. "But today, two Costco employees noticed his struggle and handed him the scanner and let him ring up every item. Kindness like this changes everything. Thank you for making our day!"

Costco, shopping, costoc tripHype Bryce GIF by GranarlyGiphy

The video got an emotional response from viewers on TikTok. "This is the way our world should be. Slowing down to take a moment like this and create a core memory," one commenter wrote.

Another added, "He did so well!!! Costco is overwhelming a typical person! I can’t imagine how it is for someone with Autism. What a sweet worker❤️He was so patient and kind. Your son is adorable!"

"🥰🥰🥰 he did amazing," said another, to which Kels replied, "Thank you. We were all so proud—he was most proud though and I love that."

Kels also interacted more in the comments, sharing more about their story. "I have a son on the spectrum and it might be a good idea to get some headphones for the little boy when he’s in a loud environment like a Costco. :)," another commenter suggested. Kels shared, "This is my boy. Will not keep them on no matter how much he needs them. Literally. They [end] up broken 100% of the time."

Another viewer wrote, "this is what acceptance looks like🥰," to which Kels replied, "Yes, and we need so much more of it." Finally, another added, "Look at the joy on his face! 🥺", and Kels responded, "Literally so much joy!!"


@kelsmflee

I love how much my kids love each other. #siblings #brother #sister #sissy #siblinglove #proudmom

Kels has three children, and her 3-year-old is her youngest. On her TikTok, she has shared sweet videos of their close and loving relationship with each other over the years. His older siblings are protective and always looking out for him, including during scary visits to Santa Claus. "I love how much my kids love each other," she wrote in another video.

From Your Site Articles
autism
Parenting

Devastated dad shares why he didn't tell his 10-year-old daughter it was her birthday

“I don’t know if we made the right decision…It’s killing us.”

@kylephilippi/TikTok

“Today’s her birthday, and we’re pretending like it’s just another day."

Kid’s birthdays are both lovely moments of celebration, and potential sources of stress for any parent, for various reasons. For dad Kyle Philippi (whom we’ve previously covered for dressing up as Jafar to cure his friend of an irrational phobia), his daughter’s 10th birthday was particularly full of anguish—since he didn’t tell her it actually was her birthday.

In a video posted to his TikTok that amassed close to 3 million views, the concerned dad shared his unique plight that brought him to this unusual decision: his daughter’s birthday falls on Jan 2, over winter break, meaning most kids wouldn’t be able to attend her birthday party. Two years prior, the Philippi found this out the hard way, when they tried to throw a party on the day, and no one showed.

“She was devastated,” Philippi let out through a sigh.

@kylephilippi We’re about 60/40 on whether this was a good idea… #birthday #parenting #parentingtips#autism #autismawareness #autismacceptance #auditoryprocessingdisorder #surprisebirthday #birthdayparty ♬ original sound - Kyle Philippi

Then last year, they tried a different approach. Instead of a big social gathering on Jan 2, they had a more intimate environment of just the family and one close friend, followed by a proper party once winter break was finished. At this point Philippi explained that his daughter is on the spectrum and had auditory processing disorder—so even though she had fun at both events, she still couldn’t understand why her friend couldn’t show up on her actual birthday, and was still disappointed. That’s never what any parent wants for their kid.

To make matters more sensitive, Philippi shared that his daughter was beginning to not be invited to other classmates' parties, and suspected that part of why she yearns to have a party with all her friends there was because “she knows she’s not getting to go to everyone else’s birthday.”

Hence why Philippi and his wife decided to try something new by simply not acknowledging the birthday until they can do a party with his daughter’s school friends. Understandably, though the choice was made with the best of intentions, when Jan 2 came, there were tons of conflicting feelings.

Photo credit: Canva

“I don’t know if we made the right decision. But here we are,” Philippi shared. “Today’s her birthday, and we’re pretending like it’s just another day…and it’s killing us.”

Down in the comments people—especially those with special needs kids, or were autistics themselves—were quick to reassure Philippi that he made a tough, but right call.

“As an autistic person who struggles with birthdays, you’re doing the right thing. it’s a little unconventional, but so are kids like us!! keep it up,” one person wrote.

Another added, “these ‘decisions’ are so hard but you are doing great by taking it all into consideration and trying to do what will help her feel great on her birthday.”

It seems the real thing worth noting here is that Philippi and his wife are trying to make their kid’s birthday the best it can be for her, and that’s truly admirable. Odds are nearly every parent can relate to this on some level. And for parents with neurodivergent kiddos, that can often mean navigating uncharted territory. Maybe they’ll try a different approach next year. Maybe not. What matters is they’re trying.

And from the looks of it, the actual birthday wasn’t a total wash. In a follow up video, we see that Philippi’s daughter got her favorite chicken wings for dinner, and got to plan her upcoming birthday…which will apparently be Raggedy Ann themed.

@kylephilippi Replying to @mamamcsorley1 She ate her favorite meal today and we continued to plan out her ultimate birthday party in 9 days 🙂 #birthday #parenting #parentingtips #autism #autismawareness #autismacceptance #auditoryprocessingdisorder #surprisebirthday #birthdayparty ♬ original sound - Kyle Philippi

Naturally, Philippi will be going as Raggedy Andy, per his daughter's request.

This article originally appeared in January.

From Your Site Articles
modern families
Trending Stories