ADHD therapy

Some people are neat freaks and some people aren't. Most of us prefer a clean and tidy space, but not all of us are able to maintain one. Not only do people go through various stages of life that make keeping house trickier than other times, but some people have neurological, psychological, and emotional realities that make it harder than it is for others.

The problem is, a messy house is often a source of judgment and shame.

Licensed therapist and TikToker Kc Davis is turning that notion on its head with videos that explain how her own ADHD impacts her messiness and how she's learned "to clean as a messy person."

Davis shared a video showing her doing "a full reset" of her space while explaining the various reasons why some people don't have the executive function capabilities to "clean as they go." From ADHD to physical disabilities to having experienced abuse surrounding cleaning, some people find it impossible to keep things neat and tidy. For people who don't struggle with executive dysfunction, this video may not make sense, but for those who do, it's extremely validating.


"I don't often go into specifics about why my house is messy that day because at the end of the day it doesn't matter," she said. "It's not about me proving to some internet stranger that my house is messy for an acceptable reason. It's about getting a message of compassion and hope out there to anyone that struggles. Regardless of your level of functioning, you deserve kindness."

Her caption may be the most validating of all:

"Mess is morally neutral and shame is the enemy of functioning."

@domesticblisters

Mess is morally neutral and shame is the enemy of functioning. #strugglecare #findyourway #selfcompassion #cleantok

That video was viewed more than a million times.

In another video, which has been viewed more than 9 million times, Davis explained how she changed how she viewed cleaning.

"For the longest time, I thought what I needed was for someone to teach me how to not be messy," she said, "but every attempt at a ritual or routine that was aimed at making me not messy failed, and I thought I had failed.

"What I needed was not someone who was going to try to turn me from a messy person to a neat person, but someone to teach me how to clean as a messy person. Someone to give me the freedom to just live my day the way I wanted to live it without thinking about things and the tools to create a routine at the end of the night to reset the space to functional without feeling overwhelmed or exhausted."

As she's explaining this, she's "resetting" her kitchen space with the help of a 15-minute timer. Even just calling it "resetting" is a helpful mind-shift for people who feel overwhelmed by the idea of "cleaning."

@domesticblisters

The key to a functional home does NOT include changing who you are. #strugglecare #messy #LoveMeMode #cleantok


"The key to a functional home does NOT include changing who you are," she wrote in the caption. That permission to live as a messy person with tools to stay functional is huge, judging from the comments. While some naturally neat folks were mortified by the mess in her video, those who related to it felt seen and heard. Those are the people she's trying to reach.

Thanks, Kc Davis, for giving a voice to those with executive dysfunction and for helping everyone be more compassionate and understanding of one another.

See more of Kc Davis's videos on TikTok.

That first car is a rite of passage into adulthood. Specifically, the hard-earned lesson of expectations versus reality. Though some of us are blessed with Teslas at 17, most teenagers receive a car that’s been … let’s say previously loved. And that’s probably a good thing, considering nearly half of first-year drivers end up in wrecks. Might as well get the dings on the lemon, right?

Of course, wrecks aside, buying a used car might end up costing more in the long run after needing repairs, breaking down and just a general slew of unexpected surprises. But hey, at least we can all look back and laugh.

My first car, for example, was a hand-me-down Toyota of some sort from my mother. I don’t recall the specific model, but I definitely remember getting into a fender bender within the first week of having it. She had forgotten to get the brakes fixed … isn’t that a fun story?

Jimmy Fallon recently asked his “Tonight Show” audience on Twitter to share their own worst car experiences. Some of them make my brake fiasco look like cakewalk (or cakedrive, in this case). Either way, these responses might make us all feel a little less alone. Or at the very least, give us a chuckle.

Here are 22 responses with the most horsepower:

Keep Reading Show less

Alberto Cartuccia Cingolani wows audiences with his amazing musical talents.

Mozart was known for his musical talent at a young age, playing the harpsichord at age 4 and writing original compositions at age 5. So perhaps it's fitting that a video of 5-year-old piano prodigy Alberto Cartuccia Cingolani playing Mozart has gone viral as people marvel at his musical abilities.

Alberto's legs can't even reach the pedals, but that doesn't stop his little hands from flying expertly over the keys as incredible music pours out of the piano at the 10th International Musical Competition "Città di Penne" in Italy. Even if you've seen young musicians play impressively, it's hard not to have your jaw drop at this one. Sometimes a kid comes along who just clearly has a gift.

Of course, that gift has been helped along by two professional musician parents. But no amount of teaching can create an ability like this.

Keep Reading Show less
Joy

Man uses TikTok to offer 'dinner with dad' to any kid that needs one, even adult ones

Summer Clayton is the father of 2.4 million kids and he couldn’t be more proud.

Come for the food, stay for the wholesomeness.

Summer Clayton is the father of 2.4 million kids and he couldn’t be more proud. His TikTok channel is dedicated to giving people intimate conversations they might long to have with their own father, but can’t. The most popular is his “Dinner With Dad” segment.

The concept is simple: Clayton, aka Dad, always sets down two plates of food. He always tells you what’s for dinner. He always blesses the food. He always checks in with how you’re doing.

I stress the stability here, because as someone who grew up with a less-than-stable relationship with their parents, it stood out immediately. I found myself breathing a sigh of relief at Clayton’s consistency. I also noticed the immediate emotional connection created just by being asked, “How was your day?” According to relationship coach and couples counselor Don Olund, these two elements—stability and connection—are fundamental cravings that children have of their parents. Perhaps we never really stop needing it from them.


Keep Reading Show less