upworthy

bullying

Parenting

Father takes daughter's bullying victim on a shopping trip to teach her a lesson

When Randy Smalls of South Carolina discovered that his teenage daughter was making fun of a classmate over her clothes and makeup, he took swift action.

via Youtube/Strahan, Sara and Keke

Randy Smalls of South Carolina

Bullying is a huge problem. According to DoSomething.org, 1 in 5 students ages 12-18 in the United States are bullied during the school year, and approximately 160,000 teens have skipped school because of bullying. So when Randy Smalls of South Carolina discovered that his teenage daughter was making fun of a classmate over her clothes and makeup, he took swift action.

Smalls instantly felt sympathy for Ryan Reese, a seventh-grader at Berkeley Middle School, having been bullied in his youth. So he took money meant for his daughter and went on a shopping spree with Ryan to get some new clothes and a makeover.

Smalls' wife and Ryan's mother Richauna Reese are friends, but they weren't aware of the bullying until recently. The families got on the phone after speaking to Ryan, and Smalls asked if he could take Ryan to buy new clothes and get a makeover at the beauty salon.

Smalls used money initially intended to buy his 13-year-old daughter some new clothes, but after learning about her bullying, he decided to spend the money on Ryan instead.

"I say, 'When you laugh along, you're co-signing the bullying," Smalls told Yahoo News.

"My daughter was upset, especially because she is into fashion," he said. "So she came with us and helped pick out Ryan's new clothes."

While his daughter was at church, Smalls took Ryan to the beauty salon and paid for twice-a-month appointments until the end of the year.

After hearing about the good gesture, local salons have also offered to keep Ryan looking stylish for the next few months.

Richauna, Ryan's mother, told Yahoo News that her daughter was struggling after the recent deaths of her father, grandfather, and aunt, as well as non-epileptic seizures caused by the stress.

The shopping trip has helped Ryan immensely. "I wasn't expecting it. I just started to cry. It (the bullying) was really sad for me because I had lost my grandpa, father, and aunt, and it really took me deep down in my depression," Ryan explained.

"This is the first time I have seen a parent take such a stance on bullying," Richauna added.

Smalls was overwhelmed by the response and says that it's helped his daughter see her mistake.

"I didn't expect for this to get big but I'm glad if other parents [can learn from it]," Smalls said. "My daughter learned her lesson."

"As parents, we have to take responsibility for what our children do," Smalls told ABC's Strahan, Sara, and Keke. "We can teach our children, but when they go and are around other children they can veer off a little bit. When situations like this happen, we have to take action and be the parent and not the friend."

And the pair seem to be getting along better for the experience. "They're cool now," Richauna said.

Watch to young girls break down the story in this adorable YouTube video:

This article originally appeared five years ago.

From Your Site Articles
parenting advice
Family

Mom finds out daughter is bullying kids over their clothes and desperately seeks advice

Her husband called her idea of punishment "cruel," this fed up mom wants to know other people's thoughts.

Photo credit: Canva

Bullying—it's something no parent wants their child to have to deal with.

Bullying is a difficult territory for parents to navigate, even more so when it’s their own kid doing the bullying.

This can of course happen for a variety of reasons, but one really common reason is trying to fit in with a certain friend group. A kid sees one of their friends making fun of someone, and they follow suit in order to gain acceptance. And so, the nasty cycle continues, until this kid is now an adult with these terrible social habits.

Needless to say, that’s why it’s so important for parents to address any bullying activity head on, and immediately, as to prevent it from becoming a character trait.

And that is why one mom desperately sought the advice of folks on the Ask Reddit forum. As she shared in her post, her 11-year old daughter, who was about to enter 6th grade, had been apparently “making fun of kids for not wearing name brand clothing and shoes.”

Considering that their family doesn’t have a lot of money, the mom was floored by her daughter’s attitude. But in order to “impress” her friends, the daughter pretends their situation is otherwise. Just like 5 out of every 10 teen girl movies we ever saw as kids.

“Me and her dad have opposing views,” the mom explained. “I want to take her to Walmart for her back to school clothes and shoes. Her dad thinks it’s cruel.”

(She would later add that his view could be based on the fact that he too was “was often bullied for his clothing and doesn’t want to do that to our daughter.” Though one would think that would make him all the more behind the idea. But that's neither here nor there.)

Hence why she came to Reddit—to see if maybe her idea for punishment was indeed too harsh.

11 yo daughter makes fun of kids wearing Walmart clothing
byu/lovestodance222 inParenting

However, an overwhelming amount of readers sided with the mom.

“It is not cruel,”one person replied. “What is cruel is making fun of people who cannot afford as much, or making fun of their sense of style. Bullying has real impacts on people, sometimes long-term, and I suggest the superficialness your daughter is displaying gets adjusted now before she becomes a teenager. Middle school can already be difficult for many students and I’m sure you don’t want your daughter to be the reason someone struggles with their self-confidence.”

Someone else simply quipped “100% decking her out in Walmart clothes entirely.” While another said “No question this is the solution. I would also make my child work to earn the money for it, if she was making fun of other children for wearing the clothes their family can afford.”

Another top comment suggested that mom first have a “serious discussion” with her daughter in a a neutral location. Then, if the bullying appears to continue, get her more Walmart clothes.

“At least until she understands why this is so inappropriate,” they said. “Give her the chance to mend her ways, but let her know what the consequence will be if she doesn’t. Now the ball is in her court. It’s not cruel as long as she has been forewarned and she understands why you would take this action.”

Another simply reiterated the importance of taking swift action, whatever that action may be.

“It’s not just the effects of bullying on others, I’d also argue that your child runs the risk of entering into the world at a deficit built upon these shallow and materialistic views she’s holding, not to mention the fact that surely bullies suffer psychological damage themselves all of which will need to be adjusted and repaired later in life. (Hopefully) Might as well try to help her see…that nice ‘things’ aren’t what matter most about people/life. Will rocking Walmart clothes help her realize that? Idk. I do think effort should be made to adjust her values and tune her into what being a good person is about,” they wrote.

How to have a conversation with your kid if you suspect they’re bullying

bullying, anti bullyingNobody wants their kid to be a bully. But if it does happen, there are actions that can be taken. Photo credit: Canva

For parents who are in need of having that uncomfortable, but necessary conversation, The Child Mind Institute has these tips:

Be open and direct

Address the issue, how you heard about it, and then give the child time and space to explain what’s going on and how they feel about it. This can be a good time for assessing whether or not professional help might be needed.

Get specific about what you want to see instead

The site gives this example: “If your child excludes other kids, let them know that you expect them to say yes when others ask to play with them.” It also helps to demonstrate these values at home.

Set clear consequences

Seems like the OP might have been onto something. The Child Mind Institute suggest to have some form of punishment, like having their phone taken away, if behavior persist (note that this is AFTER having a conversation though). Alternatively, kids can try to “make amends” by offering a “written apology or doing something nice for the person they hurt.”

Bottom line: Kids who bully aren’t necessarily “bad.” It’s often a coping mechanism for new, intimidating emotional territory. But this is arguably when a kid needs parental guidance the most. So a little tough love is called for.

From Your Site Articles
bullying
Pop Culture

Michael B. Jordan runs into his middle-school bully on the red carpet and calls her out

He didn't forget.

via Gage Skidmore/Wikimedia Commons

Michael B. Jordan speaking at the 2017 San Diego Comic Con International, for "Black Panther", at the San Diego Convention Center in San Diego, California.

As long as humans have endeavored to do anything great, there have been those who have tried to take them down. These are the opposite of the creators in life: the bullies, haters and naysayers who only want to bring people down to their level.

But when you have a dream and desire, its easy to tune out the voices of negativity. "It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better,” Theodore Roosevelt once said. “The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena."

Some folks use the naysayers as fuel to push them to work even harder. Basketball legend Michael Jordan was infamous for letting his thirst for revenge drive him to even greater heights on the court.

Another Michael Jordan, "Black Panther" star, Michael B. Jordan, came face to face with someone who doubted that he could reach his dreams, and he wasn’t shy about letting her know that he remembered. What's Upworthy about the encounter is that he did so with class and confidence.

In 2023, Jordan was on the red carpet for the premiere of "Creed III," a film he starred in and directed. He was interviewed by “The Morning Hustle” radio show host Lore’l, who had recently admitted on the “Undressing Room” podcast that she used to make fun of him in school.

“You know what’s so crazy? I went to school with Michael B. Jordan at a point in life,” Lore’l said. “And to be honest with you, we teased him all the damn time because his name was Michael Jordan. Let’s start there, and he was no Michael Jordan.”

“He also would come to school with a headshot,” she added. “We lived in Newark. That’s the hood. We would make fun of him like, ‘What you gonna do with your stupid headshot?’ And now look at him!”

In addition, her co-host, Eva Marcille, referred to Jordan as “corny.”

Jordan had no problem discussing their past on the red carpet. “We go way back, all the way back to Chad Science [Academy] in Newark,” Lore’l told the actor. Oh yeah, I was the corny kid, right?” Jordan responded with a smirk.

“No, you did not hear me say that! I said we used to make fun of the name,” Lore’l said.

“I heard it,” Jordan said. “I heard it. It’s all good. What’s up?” he responded. “But yeah, [you are] obviously killing things out here…you’re not corny anymore,” Lore’l clarified.

After the exchange went viral, Lore’l admitted that she teased Jordan in school, but they were only classmates for one year.

“So the narrative that I bullied him all throughout high school—this was 7th grade. We were like 12 years old, and everyone made fun of each other,” Lore’l said. “That was school, you know. That was one year. And, again, I’ve never bullied him. That just sounds so outrageous to me.”

Jordan later shared some advice on how to deal with bullies.

"Just stay focused, just stay locked in,” he told a reporter from Complex. “You know, just follow your heart, try to block out the noise and distractions as much as possible and run your race. Don't compare yourself to anybody else. Just keep going."


This article originally appeared on 4.19.24

From Your Site Articles
bullying
Family

A 6-year-old designed a custom t-shirt for his first day of school and it's seriously the best

Thank you, Blake, for bringing some much-needed sunshine into our day.

Unfading adornments

When 6-year-old Blake Rajahn shows up to his first grade classroom on Monday, he will arrive bearing an uplifting a message for his fellow students.

Blake's mother, Nikki Rajahn, runs a custom personalization business in Fayette County, Georgia, and she asked her son what kind of t-shirt he wanted for his first day of school. He could have chosen anything—his favorite sports star's number, a cool dragon, a witty saying—anything he wanted, she could make.

Blake chose something unexpected—an orange t-shirt with a simple, sweet message for the other kids at his school to see. Five little words that might just mean the world to someone who reads them.

"I will be your friend."

Ouch. My heart.

Rajahn shared the story on her business Facebook page:

"I have to brag on my son. I told him that as a back to school gift, I will make him any shirt he would like. It could have anything—a basketball theme, football, etc. which are all his favorites. He thought a while and said, 'will you please make me a shirt that says "I will be your friend" for all the kids who need a friend to know that I am here for them?' Never underestimate your kid's heart for others! I love my sweet Blake! #stopbullying"







Apparently, such a gesture is typical of Blake. "He has always had a heart for others and is very genuine," his mother told Upworthy. She said she's donating part of the proceeds of her t-shirt sales to the Real Life Center, a non-profit that helps families in need in Tyrone, Georgia, all because of Blake.

"During the summer we had a vacation Bible school that he went to," she said, "and they did a toothbrush and toothpaste drive for the Real Life Center. He came home saying we needed to go to the Dollar Store to get some that night. We told him we would go the next day, but he had to use his money for it. He said that was fine, so we asked how much he would like to spend. He said, 'It's for people who don't have any, right?' We said yes, so he very matter-of-fact said, 'Well all of it!' And he did!"

Rajahn said everyone has been very encouraging and people are starting to order their own version of the t-shirt with "#blakesfriends" added to it.

She also shared Blake's reaction to hearing that his shirt idea was starting to spread on Facebook—and again, it's just the sweetest darn thing.

"Ever since I posted about my son and his shirt, I have sold some and told Blake about it. He said, "Oh good! Now more and more people are going to have more and more friends!" He is just so flattered so many want to be his twin too 😊"

Sometimes all a person needs is one friend so they won't feel alone, and Blake going out of his way to make sure kids feel welcomed by him is an example even adults can learn from. If we all reached out to people who might be shy or who might feel excluded, and let them know in some small way that we are open to being friends, what a better world we could build.

Thank you, Blake, for bringing some much-needed sunshine into our day.


This article originally appeared on 8.2.19

bullying
Trending Stories