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Parenting

Former bully reveals her mom's brutal 'lesson in humility' that made her change her ways

Two simple words made all the difference.

school bus on the road; a young woman praying
Unsplash

Humility and grace go a long way.

We all agree that bullying is bad, yes? I think most adults would agree, at least in theory, that we should treat people with kindness and not with cruelty. But that doesn't change the fact that bullying happens every day in all walks of life. Schools, for example, are rife with it. And that's because a lot of children are still learning crucial skills like empathy, humility, and basic human decency.

When parents catch their own kids being bullies, they usually go down one of two different roads. They may refuse to believe that it's true. My child would never! There must be some kind of misunderstanding! This opens the door for the behavior to continue. On the other hand, other well-meaning parents may bring the hammer down. Yelling, punishments, you name it. It's preferable to ignoring the problem, that's for sure, but it may still miss the mark in terms of teaching a lasting lesson.

A TikTok user, Steph, recently shared her own story of being a former bully, and the exceptional job her mother did handling it when she found out.

gif of Marty McFly confronting bully BifFThere are tons of reasons why people bully others, but it's never a good thing. Giphy

Steph admits in the video that she had been saying cruel things on the school bus to a neighbor girl named Lisa when they were about nine years old. One day, Steph was surprised to find Lisa's mom at her house telling her own mom all about it. Steph's mom was shocked and disappointed.

She says her parents weren't big on yelling or even punishments. They preferred that their kids learn from natural consequences, so what followed was a natural fit: Steph was going to have to apologize to Lisa.

It sounds obvious, but it's a step a lot of parents skip when it comes to bullying. And it's really one of the most important and empathetic parts of the whole process. When you do something wrong or you hurt someone, the right thing to do is apologize.

But Steph's mom wasn't content with an eyes-down, mumbled, "I'm sorry." After making Steph "march" to Lisa's house and face Lisa's family, Steph said, "Lisa, I'm really sorry for the things I've been saying to you." But that wasn't good enough for mom.

"Such as?" Steph's mom said. She then made Steph repeat the horrible things she'd been saying in front of her, in front of Lisa, and in front of Lisa's mom. There was no sidestepping or glossing over her behavior. It was all out in the open for everyone to see in all of its ugliness. The shame and dread Steph felt in that moment has stayed with her forever, but she learned an important lesson in humility and how to take accountability for her actions that day.

"I never bullied anyone again after that."

Watch Steph's whole story here:


@absurdoblivion

In elementary school I bullied a neighbour on the bus ride home over a period of several weeks. Here is the story of how my gentle parent mom dealt with it. …. I still feel ashamed of my behaviour to this DAY!!!!! #bullying

People loved Steph's mom's amazing approach to a difficult situation.

Over a million viewers on TikTok watched Steph's video, with many chiming in with support or stories of their own:

"Appropriate shame is so important in human social path development. Your mom is a queen for doing this"

"My mom sat me down and said 'where did you learn to be mean because I did not raise a mean girl and that’s what you are' her words still ring in my head 17 years later"

"i had second hand shame listening to this. wow. thank you for sharing. ill be implementing this in our family"

"Making you repeat everything in front of her mom is the ultimate consequence"

"Saying out loud specifically what you did is a HUGE part of taking accountability. Great work mom."

One study from a surprising place — trains! — showed that when 'apology messages' were more specific, they were accompanied with more forgiveness. It's much easier to be vague, i.e. "I'm sorry for what I did." Being specific forces us to admit our mistakes on a deeper level and ultimately connect better with the people we've hurt.

Experts agree that an apology is in order when one kid bullies another. Teaching empathy, setting clear expectations for behavior changes you want to see, and being supportive in helping your child make those changes are also key. Consequences for bullying behavior can work, but it's best not to let your temper flare too much. Kids who bully may be being mistreated by an adult or older kid in their own life, so handling the situation with love and empathy is preferable to anger.

Steph's mother's technique is good inspiration. A genuine, specific, and heartfelt apology can go a long way in changing the lives of a bullied kid and the bully.

Pets

Four guys asked their new neighbor if they could walk her dog. Then the dog wrote back.

"If you ever get bored, we are more than happy to look after him/her."

via Stevieticks / Instagram

A black dog and a note form "the boys from number 23."

If you've lived your whole life with a dog, a home has to feel pretty empty without one. Your heart has to feel like there's something missing as well. When Jack McCrossan, originally from Scotland, moved to Bristol, England with his three friends, they were bummed out to learn that their landlord didn't allow dogs.

So when they saw a beautiful black Sheprador (a German Sheppard Lab mix) in their neighbor's window, they knew that had to become buddies with her. They wrote the dog's owner, Sarah Tolman, a letter asking to arrange a play date with the dog. "If you ever need someone to walk him/her, we will gladly do so," they wrote.

"If you ever get bored (we know you never will, but we can dream), we are more than happy to look after him/her. If you want to come over and bring him/her to brighten our day, you are more than welcome. If you want to walk past our balcony windows so we can see him/her, please do," the letter continued.


"We hope this doesn't come too strong, but our landlord won't allow pets, and we've all grown up with animals. The adult life is a struggle without one," they wrote. "Yours sincerely, The boys from number 23," the letter concluded.

Soon after, the boys in 23 received a response from the dog herself, Stevie Ticks, accepting the offer. However, it may have been written by her human, Sarah Tolman. In the letter, Stevie shares a bit about herself, saying she's two years and four months old, was adopted in Cyprus, and that she's "very friendly and full of beans." (The boys shouldn't worry about a gassy hound, in England, "full of beans" means lively.)


"I love meeting new people and it would be great if we can be friends. I must warn you that the price of my friendship is 5 x ball throws a day and belly scratches whenever I demand them," the letter continued. A few days later, the boys got to meet Stevie. "Meeting Stevie was great!" McCrossan told Buzzfeed. "She was definitely as energetic as described. We got to take her for a walk and she wouldn't stop running!"

black labrador, dogs, dog-walkers, kind nieghbors, stevieticks, bristol, ukA black labrador (representative image).via Canva/Photos

Tolman thought the boys' letter was a fantastic gesture in an era where, quote often, neighbors are strangers. "In a day and age where people don't really know or speak to their neighbors, it was really nice for them to break down that barrier," she said. After the story went viral, she saw it as an opportunity for people to share their love of dogs with the world. "My mother and I are amazed at all the love we've received from around the world these past few days," Tolman wrote as Stevie. "If you have a doggo in your life, share that love with those around you."

A lot has changed in the past 6 years since this story warmed hearts around the globe. The boys have since moved away, but as of September 2024, Stevie is around 8 years old and still doing well. Her keeper and Sarah's partner, Chris Bowley, shared an update on Instagram. "[The boys] sadly moved out of Bristol. However, we have always tried to keep the ethos going of Stevie having as many friends and meetups as possible," Bowley wrote.


This article originally appeared six years ago.

Angel statue in Poland

Over the past decade, Scandinavian concepts like ‘hygge’ and ‘lagom’ have dominated wellness and decorating trends. Hygge, a Danish concept without a direct English translation, captures the essence of coziness, warmth, and comfort in one's surroundings—think candles, fireplaces, and strategically placed lamps. Lagom, on the other hand, comes from the Swedes and roughly means “just enough. " This concept preaches finding tranquility in the balance of all things.

Which, you know, is nice. (Who doesn’t want to live in a lovely, snug home and bathe in the warm glow of candlelight?) What idiot would say no to a perfectly balanced life where there’s never too much or too little?

But sometimes, the biggest concern in life isn’t “How can I make this room cozier?” Life comes at you fast. Money arrives, then leaves even quicker. Families disagree, creating generational rifts that seem insurmountable. Governments fail to protect their citizens, exposing them to war, danger, and poverty. What then? Do Europeans have a neat little phrase for that?


white book near mugHygge is nice, certainly Photo by Pavan Trikutam on Unsplash


“Things will work out in the end”

In fact, the answer is yes. Enter 'Jakoś to będzie' (pronounced 'Ya-kosh toe ben-jay'), which literally translates to "Things will work out in the end." This contrasts sharply with the sunny, optimistic advice that often emerges from idyllic nations like Denmark, the Netherlands, and Sweden. “Learning about happiness from the Scandinavians can feel a little like learning about money from a millionaire when you struggle financially,” writes Olga Mecking. “Instead,” she continues, “why not learn from a country that has been through hell and back — multiple times — and is still standing?”


beautiful multicolored buildings Poland is a living testament to the human spirit Photo by Maksym Harbar on Unsplash

Of course, she is referring to Poland, a Central European country that has existed for 500,000 years. As one imagines, there’s a lot of history sandwiched between those 500,000 years, beginning with the Polish state’s establishment during the 10th century. In the 14th century, Poland joined forces with the Grand Duchy of Lithuania, culminating in the formation of the Polish-Lithuanian Commonwealth—one of Europe’s largest and most populous nations. Then, the strife: during the 18th century, the Commonwealth began to decline, eventually leading to the last King of Poland, Stanislaw Augustus, abdicating the throne in 1975. From there, many wars, insurrections, and violent protests were mounted against the country’s forced partitions, upheld by unwelcomed, occupying armies. However, Poland would not see independence again until 1918, when the Allies agreed to the country’s reconstitution in the aftermath of World War I. From there, even more chaos ensued. Devastation reigned during World War II, as much of the country fell into Nazi Germany’s hands, and Poland saw the near-annihilation of its Jewish population during the Holocaust.

Poland stands today not just as a country but as a powerful testament to the strength of the human spirit: despite the traumas that may come, optimism is always available to us. ‘Jakoś to będzie;’ “things will work out in the end.”


The true meaning of ‘jakoś to będzie’

Much like the country it hails from, the concept of ‘jakoś to będzie’ is all about resilience and grit in the face of life’s darkest and most uncertain moments. “It’s the unwavering certainty that we can do anything, no matter what obstacles we face along the way,” says Beata Chomątowska, co-author of “Jakoś to będzie. Szczęście po polsku” (or “Jakoś to będzie, the Polish way of life”). Meanwhile, the BBC describes ‘jakoś to będzie’ as “the perfect philosophy for tough times.”


brown and green concrete building under white sky during daytimeIt's Poland's philosophy for hard times. Photo by Zhi Xuan Hew on Unsplash

In some circles, ‘jakoś to będzie’ is presented as the anti-‘hygge’. While the latter encourages us to retreat into comfort, to adorn ourselves in cozy objects and fuzzy socks, the Polish approach embraces uncertainty head-on. This isn’t the time for hiding under a blanket with hot cocoa; ‘jakoś to będzie’ stresses the importance of acting without overthinking the consequences. It’s a peculiar philosophy that could only emerge from a country that has endured some of the most brutal hardships in history.

So, in an increasingly erratic, unknowable world, it might be wise to borrow a page or two from this Polish school of thought. Whenever a scary, daunting challenge arises—personal crises, difficulties at work, attempts to navigate any number of global problems, etc.—instead of falling into despair, try channeling a bit of this Polish spirit instead. Don’t overthink. Take that risk. Make something happen. ‘Jakoś to będzie’ — somehow, everything will work out. Moving forward is always better than staying still, no matter how frightening. Or, as Polish author Daniel Lis puts it, “[Life] is always a bit of adventure.”

Diane Tirado/Facebook

Left: Teacher Diane Tirado. Right: The note she left for students after being fired.

If you're of the mind that kids today are being coddled and not properly prepared for the real world, well, you might want to buckle up for this one. The story out of a public school in Florida has parents and teachers alike up in arms.

A Florida teacher was fired for giving her students zeros for missing assignments. Diane Tirado has been a teacher for years. Most recently, she was an eighth-grade history teacher at Westgate K-8 School in Port St. Lucie, Florida. Diane recently gave her students two weeks to complete an Explorer notebook project, but several students simply didn't hand it in. Since there was zero work done, Diane gave them zeros.

She got fired for it.

schools, teachers, education, grades, students, parentsMichael Scott from The Office saying "What?"Giphy

The elementary school has a rule called the “no zero policy."

The lowest possible grade that teachers can give students is a 50, even if they don't turn anything in. That means that an extremely poor completed assignment is worth the same number of points as no assignment at all.

Hardly seems fair, right? Westgate is far from the only school that has such a policy, however.

whiteboard, education, classroom, teacher, middle school, 8th grade A message written on the whiteboard for her students after Diane Tirado was firedDiane Tirado/Facebook

It's a rule that Diane, unsurprisingly, does not agree with. After she was fired for disobeying, she left her students a charming goodbye message on the whiteboard.

"Bye kids. Mrs. Tirado loves you and wishes you the best in life. I have been fired for refusing to give you a 50 percent for not handing anything in. Love, Mrs. Tirado"

The scale, as outlined by the school, reads as follows:

A = 90 to 100
B = 80 to 89
C = 70-79
D = 60-69
F = 50-59

Diane later shared the story on Facebook, hoping to spread awareness about the school's policy.

“A grade in Mrs. Tirado's class is earned," she said.

“I'm so upset because we have a nation of kids that are expecting to get paid and live their life just for showing up and it's not real."

Diane's post has gone viral, and most commenters agree with her position – it's not fair to hand out grades for work that doesn't exist.

No zero policies are common in many schools, and teachers notoriouslyhate them. But it's at least worth considering why they exist. Some educators say it's because when a student earns a zero, it's very difficult for them to ever recover their grade in that class. In other words, it may be too harsh. Others argue that, if you don't want a zero, don't turn in nothing! Getting an earned-zero is a great way to learn to at least try.

A follow up statement from the school stated: "Ms. Tirado was released from her duties as an instructor because her performance was deemed sub-standard and her interactions with students, staff, and parents lacked professionalism and created a toxic culture on the school’s campus. ... During her brief time of employment at West Gate, the school fielded numerous student and parent complaints as well as concerns from colleagues. Based on new information shared with school administrators, an investigation of possible physical abuse is underway."

However, school representatives did not deny the existence of the no zero policy, and Tirado claims the school engaged in a smear campaign after she became a "whistleblower" on their policies. She's currently considering legal action against the district.

Still, the debate over the grading policy rages on.

“The reason I took on this fight was because it was ridiculous. Teaching should not be this hard," Diane said.

This article originally appeared 6 years ago.

@trace.gotsis/Instagram

This probably fed the entire staff too.

Mothers need support from their partners during all stages of pregnancy, but especially while going through postpartum. And while having basic needs met, like doing a fair share of the domestic chores, making sure supplies are replenished, doing night feedings, etc. are vital, a little pampering also goes a long way for making mom feel taken care of and helping to boost her mood.

And what constitutes grade-A pampering? FOOD. Glorious, indulgent food. Especially after nine months of having to abstain from many, many no-no foods and drinks. In this regard, a McDonald's order might taste just as luxurious as a Michelin meal. Hopefully dad/partner knows his lady’s cravings well enough to know which route to take.

One dad (@trace.gotsis on Instagram) certainly understood this assignment to the nth degree, showing up with a literal GONDOLA of fresh sushi that was pretty much an edible work of art. His wife apparently had an epic meal before the baby even got its name.

Watch:

Needless to say, folks were impressed.

God I see what you’ve done for others 😭

Best way to propose to me.

“What an absolutely epic moment”

“If i ever have a husband and he does this i will marry him again and then 10 more times after that. 😫😫”

That goes for the dudes too.

"Brother, how can one become your wife?"

Many joked that the newborn’s name should be sushi-related.

You better name that baby Nigiri.

Just call him…baby sashimi

So did you name it Noah or Sushi? Gotta know.

Turns out, they would name their little guy Alfie. Which is probably better than a food name in the long run.

Sushi, like soft cheese, alcohol, and caffeine, is off-limits to pregnant women. Sushi in particular can expose a growing baby to mercury, bacteria, and other harmful parasites. That said, Healthline does say that sushi rolls with low mercury cooked fish can be consumed, like spicy crab rolls, spicy shrimp rolls, chicken katsu rolls, or vegan rolls like cucumber avocado rolls and shiitake mushroom rolls. Probably doesn’t hit quite the same, but might satisfy those cravings nonetheless.

sushi, pregnancy, safe pregnancy foods, sushi rolls, new parentsRows of sushi rolls.

And hopefully moms and moms-to-be have partners who know how to show up and anticipate needs during those intense craving moments, and beyond. That, and helping to make sure she can rest and that spaces are clean and comfortable, will help take off some of the load. Even still, those postpartum blues may come, but boy, does it make a difference.

It probably goes without saying that this type of support needn't show up in the form of a huge sushi boat, but hopefully this does offer up some inspo.



Biker stops to push elderly man home after his shoe broke

Twenty-year-old Idris Shehu, known as cold_r6 online, loves riding his red Yamaha motorcycle and recording each ride on a GoPro strapped to his helmet. On one of his rides, Shehu noticed a man sitting on the padded seat of his wheeled walker and seemingly struggling with the straps on his shoe. Shehu was riding on the other side of the street when he saw the man, but instead of passing him by, he did a U-turn to check on the elderly individual.

What ensued is beyond heartwarming. The act of selflessness happened in April 2024 and was one of his last interactions caught on his GoPro before a motorcycle accident claimed his life just several months later. Recently the clip of his kind act was shared on the social media platform Reddit where it has been racking up views.

In the short video you see Shehu pull up next to the man sitting on his walker to see if he needed assistance. The 20-year-old Farmington State College sophomore asks several times if the man is okay but it's unclear if the man responds. That's when the motorcyclist hops off his bike to try to offer assistance. The older gentleman was wearing black sandals with Velcro straps, but one of the straps appears to be undone.

motorcycle, ride, gopro, good deed, cyclistman riding motorcycleGiphy

Shehu asks if he can strap the shoe for the man, then tries several times to get it to stick before telling the unnamed man, "I think your Velcro's ruined." It was then that the man says he just wants to get home. Clearly the elderly man was unable to walk or scoot the rest of the way home with his broken strap. The man tells Shehu that he lives around the corner and that's when the kind motorcyclist asks if he wants to be pushed, and push him he did.

As the college student pushes the elderly man home, the man asks him about his motorcycle before admitting he once had a Honda 450. The two talked bikes as they maneuvered over bumps and even got strange looks as one person stopped to see if they were all right. Shehu had never removed his helmet so from the outside people could only see a guy in full motorcycle gear pushing an elderly gentleman down the sidewalk. It was likely a sight to see, but eventually they made it back to the man's apartment where they were promptly greeted by a cat.

Shehu was so gentle and kind with the man, it's no wonder that not only did he warm hearts with this interaction, but followers of his accounts flocked to his page to leave well wishes after his final journey.

"The most excellent content. I’m going to sign off the internet for a while after this post so nothing undermines how much I’m smiling right now. Just want to ride the happy wave of seeing human empathy and compassion shine. The 'oh look at the cat!' at the end sent me into another stratosphere," one person writes.

"Imagine how great America could really be if everyone has this level of empathy and compassion. It's people like this guy who restore my faith in humanity," another shares.

motorcycle, motorcyclist, helmet, bike, peopleGoing for a rideGiphy

On the biker's video posted to his own social media page, people share heartfelt messages:

"Rest in peace honey you are a great loss to this world but at least now you can ride forever without knowing anymore pain!!! Ride fast, ride easy, ride high."

Another shared, "This is the first video I saw of you and it's the one I'll remember for life, hold on tight up there."

It's unfortunate such a kind soul was taken so soon but what a sweet memory he leaves behind, not only for the man he helped but for his family, friends, and followers. May people learn from his selfless act of kindness and be inspired to do the same.