upworthy
Friendship

Woman reconnects with her high school bully and finds out people aren't always who they once seemed

Almost everyone has been bullied. Not even gets to have a surprising reunion.

Woman reconnects with her high school bully and finds out people aren't always who they once seemed
Photo by Obie Fernandez on Unsplash
girl in blue sleeveless dress

Bullies. So many of us had them. Whether it was the subtle "Mean Girls" digs or full-on being shoved into a locker, there was usually that ONE (or three) person in your younger years who made your stomach drop the moment you saw them. They seemed to live to make your life miserable, and all too often, they succeeded.


i know right mean girls GIFGiphy

A woman took to Reddit and asked, "Who got bullied in school/college? Where are your bullies now?"

Great question. As someone who Insta-stalks every single crush I've had since kindergarten, it never occurred to me to look up the people who hadn’t always been so pleasant.

After the OP posed the question, she told her own story. "There was a group of girls, particularly one girl who'd pick on me. Basically, her boyfriend had broken up with her because he had started to like me. So yeah, she'd bully me a lot, and I never had a good relationship with her in school."

But things took a surprising turn somewhat recently! She adds, "…until a year ago, our best friends from school basically cheated on us with each other. (I don't have a better way to explain this, but yeah, we both got abandoned by our best friends.) This left us dealing with a lot of mental issues. During this time, we both connected with each other online and became each other's emotional support."

It gets even better. "She apologized to me for everything she'd done, and I genuinely forgave her. We've become really, really close now, and it makes me happy to think that things turned out this way."

Many Reddit users chimed in to tell their own tales of bullying and updates on their whereabouts. Said bullies' lives reportedly ranged from fabulous and successful (one runs a Fortune 500 company) to not-so-great and possibly current cult members. One person adds a funny observation about hypocrisy: "A lot of them are now 'life coaches' and 'influencers' who talk about loving yourself and being kind. F-ing irony."

woman in pink tank top and blue denim jeans sitting on yellow chair Photo by Laura Chouette on Unsplash

Instead of befriending their bullies, many on the thread have learned to take their power back by simply ignoring them. One shares, "I get repeated follow requests on Instagram from one of them. He passively stalks me. Two years ago, he DM'd me, and I just saw it and screenshot it. Later, he would proceed to like my Instagram stories and photos, and as usual, I kept ignoring him. LMAO."

Looking Good Social Media GIF by TravisGiphy

She says it didn't even occur to her that this was some sort of victory: "I was so much into my own world that it took me a while to realize how some people can perceive this as a victorious/ 'revenge' moment."

And lastly, there's the perspective that comes with age. A Redditor shares that after attending her 25th high school reunion, she saw this group for what they really were:
"It was glaringly obvious. Once they ascertained my station in life, they grudgingly offered some polite greetings, but they couldn't hide their disdain on their faces. From time to time, they checked if they could get away with laughing at something about me. When they couldn't get any reaction, they looked disappointed."

romy and micheles high school reunion GIFGiphy

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Learning

The one sign that someone is highly intelligent, according to literary genius Leo Tolstoy

He was a master of understanding the human condition.

en.m.wikipedia.org

Russian novelist Leo Tolstoy.

Leo Tolstoy was a Russian novelist known for epic works such as War and Peace and Anna Karenina. His life experiences—from witnessing war to spiritual quests—profoundly influenced his writings and gave him profound insights into the human soul. His understanding of emotions, motivations and moral dilemmas has made his work stand the test of time, and it still resonates with people today.

Julian de Medeiros, a TikToker who shares his thoughts on philosophy, recently shared how Tolstoy knew if someone was highly intelligent—and his observation says something extraordinary about humanity.

intelligence, thinking, thought process, humanity, humansAn intelligent man's thought process.Canva Photos

“The more intelligent a person is, the more he discovers kindness in others,” Tolstoy once wrote. “For nothing enriches the world more than kindness. It makes mysterious things clear, difficult things easy, and dull things cheerful.”

@julianphilosophy

Intelligent people are kind #intelligent #intelligence #kindness #smart #tolstoy #men #women


De Medeiros boiled down Tolstoy’s thoughts into a simple statement: “Intelligent people are unafraid to be kind.” He then took things a step further by noting that Tolstoy believed in the power of emotional intelligence. "To have emotional intelligence is to see the good in other people, that is what Tolstoy meant, that to be intelligent is to be kind," he added.

It seems that, according to de Medeiros, Tolstoy understood that intelligent people are kind and perceptive of the kindness in others. The intelligent person is conscious of the kindness within themselves and in the world around them.

In a 2024 opinion piece for Inc., author and speaker Jeff Hayden cites organizational psychologist Adam Grant, who says, "Generosity isn't just a sign of virtue. It's also a mark of intelligence. Data: people with high IQs have more unselfish values, give more to charity, and negotiate better deals for others. They prioritize the long-term collective good over short-term self-interest. It's smarter to be a giver than a taker."

Hayden adds on to this statement, saying, "...You can also be smart enough to be generous, thoughtful, and kind. You can be smart enough to build people up instead of tearing them down. You can be smart enough to give before you receive (or better yet, with no expectation of reciprocation.) You can be smart enough to shift the credit from yourself to others."

kindness, intelligence, humanity, human condition, be kindKids showing kindness through sharing. Canva Photos

In other words, these findings certainly line up with what Tolstoy's take on the correlation between kindness and intelligence.

Through Tolstoy's musings, de Medeiros (and Hayden and Grant) makes a point that is often overlooked when people talk about intelligence: truly smart people are as in touch with their hearts as they are with their minds.

This article originally appeared two years ago. It has been updated.

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Kids

5-year-old getting blood drawn psyches himself up through tears with the best pep talk

"Heck yeah!" This little cancer warrior is helping everyone who hates needles find courage.

Screenshots courtesy of @morganprains/TikTok

Reece has become a viral hero for how he handles his biweekly blood draws.

Very few people enjoy being poked with needles, and a good percentage of the adult population is actively afraid of it. So it's no surprise when young kids cry when it's time for a shot or when they have to get their blood taken. Who can blame them? It sucks.

For Morgan Handley's son, Reece, that discomfort is not just a once-a-year ordeal, but a biweekly one. The five-year-old was diagnosed with leukemia three years ago and has to get his blood drawn regularly. The way he psyches himself up for it—despite clearly being upset by it—has people cheering him on and inspired to take the same approach to hard things they don't want to do.

Watch:


@morganprains

Just my 5 year olds version of a pep talk for his lab draw this week…. He’s had his labs done at least bi weekly for almost 3 years 🥹🤣 #fyp #childhoodcancerawareness #roarlikeReece #fcancer

His "Heck yeah! Do it. Just do it." would be enough on its own, but the enthusiastic "Yeah, boy! That's what I'm talkin' about!" is such a flex. The little warrior clearly knows what works for him, and his courage through his tears is exactly what we all wish we could muster when we're going through something hard.

Handley tells Upworthy that it's something he's internalized from the family. "We pep him up, always, but it’s carried over over the years," she says. "And now he just naturally does it, even to us when we have things that have to get done!"

People loved how he handled it:

"Him crying while cheering himself on broke my heart and made me laugh at the same time."

"He figured out it's mind over matter!"

"He handled that better than some grown men I know! Hahah"

blood draw, needles, fear of needles, trypanophobia, getting blood takenMany grown men don't handle getting their blood taken very well.Photo credit: Canva

"I don't even have kids and I want to get him whatever toys he wants after this."

"Look at that brave little guy! He pep talked himself through the anxiety and pain!!"

Handley shared that Reece is set to ring the bell—declaring that he's cancer-free—in July of 2025. It's been a long road to get there. He was diagnosed with leukemia in September of 2022 after going to the ER for fever blisters that had turned into a rash around his mouth and what seemed like an allergic reaction. Noticing Reece looked pale, the ER doctor took his blood and found a white cell count of 80,000, which was an indication of leukemia. After being transferred to the children's hospital, doctors rechecked his blood cell count and confirmed it.

That's where the family's cancer journey began, meeting with doctors, coming up with a plan, and starting treatment. Thankfully, he was able to start immunotherapy treatment as part of a St. Jude's trial, which has been shown to reduce relapse rates. Immunotherapy treatment is now part of standard protocol, says Handley.

"Treatment has been decently smooth," she tells Upworthy. "He has sensitive skin so lots of rashes to every medicine ever. Steroids do a number on kids. In the beginning he stopped walking, but he overall hasn’t had terrible reactions. Immunotherapy was a smooth part of treatment."

@morganprains

Replying to @Hannah Fountain sorry it’s so long 😆 #fcancer #childhoodcancerawareness #diagnosis

Reece's specific form of leukemia is acute lymphocytic (or lymphoblastic) leukemia (ALL), a cancer of the bone marrow and blood that progresses rapidly and creates immature blood cells rather than mature ones. It's the most common form of childhood cancer, according to the Mayo Clinic. Thankfully, it's now more treatable than many other forms of cancer, with a high survival rate, especially for those diagnosed as young children.

Handley shared another video that illustrates how much of a day-by-day process it is go to through cancer treatment as a child. She said how Reece deals with blood draws "depends on the day."

@morganprains

Replying to @Morgan Handley truly an inspiration. I’m so proud of this kid. He is a literal hero. The unfortunate reality is needle pokes are a frequent occurrence in cancer treatment. Most days he just makes the best of it 🥹🤪❤️‍🩹 #childhoodcancerawareness #roarlikeReece

People in the comments have been encouraging and some have even shared their own stories with childhood leukemia, offering hope to Handley and her family.

"My brother was also diagnosed with leukemia at 2 - remission at 5. I was born right after he was diagnosed. So much similarity. He’s been cancer free for 35 years…praying for y’all!"

"My sister was diagnosed with acute lymphoblastic leukemia at age 2 as well and beat it by the age of 6. It stunted her growth significantly but other than that she’s 25 and thriving!!"

"I had a hemoglobin of 4 the day I was diagnosed with ALL at 6 years old. Very pale, very weak. Biggest clue was I couldn’t keep up in PE & my mom had a gut feeling. I’ve been cancer free for almost 28 years now. I also became a nurse because of this experience. Much love to you all."

"My oldest boy was 3 when he was diagnosed with stage 3 Clear Cell Sarcoma. He is now cancer free and 8 years old. We had another boy and expecting our little girl in October. I pray your little boy a long healthy life he deserves."

However, an increase in positive outcomes doesn't make treatment any more enjoyable or the process any easier for a parent.

"I want people to know how hard it is to watch you kid lose himself and struggle with simple kid things because you’re trying to save his life," says Handley. "I want people to know that the reality is living in fear of death for your child. Everyday. Relapse, everyday. But celebrating every single good thing that comes."

@morganprains

Replying to @Belinda_H12 thank you for this 🧡 #childhoodcancerawareness

She calls Reece "a literal superhero," and people agree. Seeing how this kiddo had learned to take on his challenges with gusto-filled resilience and enthusiasm is something we can all learn from.

You can follow Morgan Handley for more updates on TikTok.

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Pop Culture

The super interesting reason why people in the past looked so much older than people today

It isn't just the hairstyles.

via Nick Denner/Flickr and Canva/Photos

How are these both high schoolers?

Have you ever looked back at your parents’ high school yearbook and thought that all the 11th graders looked like they were in their early 30s? Whether they were in school in the ‘60s and the kids had horn-rimmed glasses or the ‘80s with feathered hair, they looked at least a decade older than today's high school kids. One wonders if in 30 years, kids look at a yearbook from 2025 and see boys with broccoli cuts and girls with nose rings and they think, “What are they, 35?”

The folks at Bright Side did a deep dive into the phenomenon and found a few reasons why people looked so much older in the past than they do now. It’s a mix of how our minds perceive older fashion and why people age more gracefully in modern times.

Why did people look older in the past?

“Specialists have looked into this phenomenon, and it does have some scientific facts to back it up,” the narrator states. “It's not necessarily that our ancestors looked older; it's more that we appear to look younger. And younger as generations go by, that's because over time humans have improved the way they live their lives in the us alone over the last 200 years.”

- YouTubewww.youtube.com

A big reason people looked a lot older when photography became common in the late 1800s is that it happened at a time when we were making tremendous advances in public health. The 1880s to the 1920s were a time of rapid advancement, when we began to understand infectious diseases and how they spread. “We gained access after safer types of foods, and we understand the importance of clean water. Our individual lifestyle choices can impact the way we look,” the video says.

The way we work has also drastically changed how people look. Working in an office for eight hours a day in air conditioning will keep you a lot younger-looking than working all day as a Victorian chimney sweep. Plus, for people who work outside, sunscreen has made it much easier to protect our skin and decrease wrinkles.

Let’s not forget the importance of a straight, white smile. Advances in dental care also help make people look younger.

1970s girls, high school girls, girls in uniforms, old high school photos, nostalgiaA "girl gang" in 1976. via Earthworm/Flickr

Why do people wearing styles from the past appear older?

Finally, there’s the clothes issue, and, yes, this does have a big impact on how we view the age of people from the past. “Our brains are wired to associate old trends with being old,” the video says. “For example, your grandpa might still have the shirt he wore in that 1970s picture, and it's because of that shirt that you retroactively associate that trend with being old, despite the fact that your granddad does look younger in the picture than he looks today. “

girls in school, '60s high school girls, class room, old-school cool,GIrls in class in the 1960s.via Phillips Academy/Flickr

In the end, the fact that people look a lot younger today than they did in the past is a testament to how the quality of life has drastically improved since cameras were first invented. However, that doesn’t mean that fashion has improved at all. You have to admit that your dad with that fly butterfly collar in his 1977 graduation photo looks better than that multi-colored, Machine Gun Kelly-style hoodie you see guys wearing in high schools today.

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Love Stories

Bride planned an autism-friendly wedding so her daughter could fully participate in the moment

"Weddings aren't about perfection–they're about love. And for us, love meant creating a day that felt good for Sofia, too."

@jodiebevan08/TikTok (with permission)

Bride has an autism-friendly wedding so her daughter with special needs can be a part of her big day.

Weddings are beautiful, sentimental days–but wedding days can also being *extremely* chaotic. So when bride Jodie Bevan (@jodiebevan08) began planning her wedding to groom Matthew, every detail revolved around making it an autism-friendly day for her teenage daughter Sofia.

In a series of TikTok video, bride Jodie documented exactly how she made Sofia comfortable on her wedding day. From her outfit choice to glam, every detail centered on Sofia's needs.

"We planned our wedding day around Sofia's needs as a teen with autism and special needs. From her dress material to a calm hairstyle, to a sensory toy bag. How Sofia would be on our day was my biggest worry but she was honestly incredible and I couldn't be more proud of her 🤍," she captioned the post.

@jodiebevan08

We planned our wedding day around Sofia's needs as a teen with autism and special needs. From her dress material to a calm hairstyle, to a sensory toy bag. How Sofia would be on our day was my biggest worry but she was honestly incredible and I could be more proud of her 🤍 Thankyou again @BTS | Luxury Wedding Content for capturing all these beautiful videos 🤍. #AutismAcceptance #InclusiveWedding #SofiaStrong #SensoryFriendly #SpecialNeedsParent #NeurodivergentLove #WeddingWithHeart #weddingday #weddingdress #weddingflowers #autismawareness #senmum #senmumlife #fyp

"Planning our wedding with Sofia's needs first. We made all of our vendors aware of Sofia's needs beforehand, including the photographer. We got Sofia's photos done first so she could relax," she shared in the video.

Next, she noted the detail paid to Sofia's clothing as the video showed her helping Sofia get changed for the wedding ceremony. "This was the first time she's worn a dress in over 10+ years! We made sure it wasn't an itchy material, not too fussy or long," she added. "She had her comfort clothes to change into after photos were done. These are the shoes she wears every single day but in a white version." (Sofia also held a teddy bear that was dressed in a suit.)

@jodiebevan08

Reading the comments in my last video has made me realise how much more awareness we need for special needs children. I know I am doing a good job at being Sofias advocate. I am her safe place, so what ever I am doing, I’m doing it right 🤍 #sen #autismawareness #autismacceptance #senparentsoftiktok #senmum #specialneeds #fyppppppppppppppppppppppp #weddingtok #weddingday

After explaining Sofia's clothing, Jodie went on to give details on hair and makeup. "Hair is a BIG sensory trigger for Sofia, so we went for something very simple, no fuss and went at her pace," she shared. "The amazing hairdresser even managed to curl it! We asked for minimal makeup, just skincare and brows. This wasn't needed but she enjoyed this and I wanted her to feel included."

Finally, Jodie shared how she made Sofia feel comfortable during the wedding reception with sensory toys. "I packed a bag of all things she likes. Toys, pens, paper, iPad, etc and placed this on her eat at the wedding breakfast," she wrote.

@jodiebevan08

Having special needs we’ve always known Sofia will never get married or walk down the isle in a white dress - I cant tell you how much this moment means to me🤍 The moment she spots Matthew too "my matthew"🥹I couldn’t be more proud of her, not only walking into a room full of people she doesn’t know but even wearing a dress when she lives in leggins and jumpers daily! Thank you for capturing this @BTS | Luxury Wedding Content I will forever be grateful 🤍 #senmum #weddingdress #weddingvibes #specialneeds #autismawareness #weddingday #weddingtok #fyppppppppppppppppppppppp

Jodie ended the post with a sweet note about what it meant to include Sofia on her special day. "Weddings aren't about perfection–they're about love. And for us, love meant creating a day that felt good for Sofia, too."

And viewers absolutely loved every heartfelt detail Jodie paid attention to for Sofia's comfort. "I’m sorry but the teddy bear in the suit 😭😭😭💖💖💖💖," one commented, and Jodie replied, "He was her plus one 😂😂🤍." Another viewer added, "You say weddings aren't about perfection but I think this is the most perfect expression of love for your family ❤️." And another viewer shared, "My sister has autism and she was my bridesmaid, she’s 13 and it was first time she wore a dress in many years and to say she smashed it was a understatement 💗," and Jodie responded, "That’s amazing! I felt so proud of Sofia even wearing the dress as I knew how big even that was for her 🤍." And another viewer commented, "my goodness this made me so emotional. how amazing ❤️."

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Democracy

Economics expert pinpoints the exact moment in 2012 when 'America went to hell'

Geography was more important than we thought.

via Canva/Photos

An angry man in front of the American flag.

America has never been a perfect place, but since the Civil War, it has been one where most people bought into the idea of the country and supported the institutions that keep it running. People may disagree on politics and culture, but when America was threatened, whether it was 9/11 or World War II, people came together to fight for the country they love, even though the reasons may have differed.

However, it’d be naive to say that sentiment is still as strong as it once was. Since The Great Recession, many people have felt that the vibes are off in America, and polls and research back those feelings. Right around 2012, when smartphones became ubiquitous, there was a considerable rise in the number of people who felt that America was on the wrong track and that racism and sexism were considerably worse than they were just a year before. There was also a big spike in mental illness.

So what happened in 2012? Did the world suddenly become drastically worse overnight, or had our perceptions been changed?

woman, dispair, smartphone, bad news, woman in kitchen, upset womanA woman is upset looking at her smartphone.via Canva/Photos

Why does it feel like America is on the decline?

Other developed countries have experienced similar vibe shifts since 2012, but it has hit America the hardest. Economics blogger Noah Smith explains why this feeling of malaise has hit America so hard, and he illustrates it perfectly in a viral Substack piece called “Social media destroyed one of America's key advantages.” Smith is an American blogger and commentator on economics and current events and former assistant professor of behavioral finance at Stony Brook University.

In his Substack post, Smith postulates that the technological change hit America the hardest because it punctured our geographical buffers. “A hippie in Oakland and a redneck in the suburbs of Houston both fundamentally felt that they were part of the same unified nation; that nation looked very different to people in each place,” Smith writes. “Californians thought America was California, and Texans thought America was Texas, and this generally allowed America to function.”

Why did America fundamentally change in 2012?

Here’s an excerpt from Smith’s piece. Please check out the entire piece on the Noahpinion Substack.

Like some kind of forcible hive mind out of science fiction, social media suddenly threw every American in one small room with every other American. Decades of hard work spent running away from each other and creating our ideologically fragmented patchwork of geographies went up in smoke overnight, as geography suddenly ceased to mediate the everyday discussion of politics and culture.

The sudden collapse of geographic sorting in political discussion threw all Americans in the same room with each other — and like the characters in Sartre’s No Exit, they discovered that “Hell is other people.” Conservatives suddenly discovered that a lot of Americans despise Christianity or resent White people over the legacy of discrimination. Liberals suddenly remembered that a lot of their countrymen frown on their lifestyles. Every progressive college kid got to see every piece of right-wing fake news that their grandparents were sharing on Facebook (whereas before, these would have been quietly confined to chain emails). Every conservative in a small town got to see Twitter activists denouncing White people. And so on.


protests, american protest, protest sign, demonstration, mass gatheringA group of people protesting in the street.via Ted Eytan/Flickr

It may sound cynical to believe that America was a better place when people were less likely to talk to people with a different worldview. But, given how things have gone in the past 15 years, it’s fair to say that putting every American in a proverbial ring to fight it out just makes everyone feel under attack... and the fight never ends.

The problem with the Like button

Another development around the same time that many believe negatively affected the country was the development of the Like button on Facebook. The button made its debut in 2009, and it, along with the share button, which came in 2010, incentivized people to create content that their audience agreed with, creating echo chambers. The buttons also incentivized people to make outrage-provoking posts and create fake stories to go viral and increase advertising revenue.

maga, trump supporters, trump flags, trump rally, american flagsTrump supporters at a rally.via Elvert Barnes/Flickr

The positive takeaway from Smith’s geographical sorting theory is that, quite possibly, many people’s perceptions about life in Amerca are wrong because we’re seeing it through the distorted, funhouse mirror of social media that shows us every bad deed in a country of 330 million people and amplifies the voices of the unscroupulous. By pinpointing the moment that America “went to hell,” as author Jonathan Haidt says, we also have a roadmap to get back to when people had greater faith in America’s institutions and people.

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