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Joy

Psychiatrist perfectly explains why each generation approaches happiness so differently

woman, generations, baby boomers, happiness, psychology

Photo credit: Instagram (@drjudithjoseph)

Dr. Judith Joseph is the expert on joy and happiness

Fill in the blank: Happiness is...?

Owning a home with a white picket fence and two-car garage? Achieving the ideal work-life balance? Or having legions of faithful followers on TikTok who hang onto your every word?

When we think about happiness, we often assume everyone wants the same things. However, depending on your answer to the question, "What is happiness?" many psychologists could pinpoint approximately when you were born. The generation you are a part of determines so much: whether you've ever had a perm, how comfortable you are using the Internet, and even how you define joy itself.

It's all about context.

Dr. Judith Joseph, a board-certified psychiatrist and the author of High Functioning: Overcome Hidden Depression and Reclaim Your Joy, went viral on Instagram when she explained how collective experiences shape each generation's approach to happiness.

"People from different generations have different ways of addressing happiness based on their different collective traumas, experiences, and educational opportunities," she wrote in the caption.

About Dr. Judith Joseph

Dr. Judith Joseph is more than just a phenomenal content creator—her professional resume is mind-bogglingly impressive. As the Principal Investigator of Manhattan Behavioral Medicine, she and her team have done groundbreaking work studying high-functioning conditions, such as high-functioning depression, ADHD, anxiety, PTSD, bipolar disorder, schizophrenia, postpartum depression, and OCD.

In short, she's an expert on joy and happiness—what causes it, how it shows up in the body, and where our ideas surrounding it stem from.

Generational definitions of happiness: How history shapes values

Research shows that each generation develops a unique definition of happiness based on the formative experiences that shaped their worldview during adolescence and early adulthood. How Baby Boomers, Generation X, Millennials, and Generation Z experience and define contentment is strikingly different. Each generation has been molded by unique historical events, economic conditions, and social changes that have forged its core values.

families, generations, kids, changes, baby boomers A family that looks straight out of the 1950s. Photo credit: Canva

Throughout the generations, there have been drastic changes in every aspect of life. Family structures and rituals look a lot different now, with 76% of Baby Boomers reporting that they ate dinner as a family every day. In comparison, only 38% of Gen Z do. When the Internet exploded onto the scene, teenagers and adolescents had access to global perspectives in an unprecedented way. Work has witnessed several eras as well, with Boomers viewing their jobs as a source of identity and financial security. At the same time, Millennials need their 9-5 to be meaningful and aligned with their values.

Dr. Joseph's video demonstrates this phenomenon exactly: from war and economic uncertainty to technological revolutions and social upheaval, these are the shared experiences that created distinct approaches to finding meaning in life.

Baby Boomers: The resilient generation

Born between 1946 and 1964, Baby Boomers developed their ideas of happiness through a lens of survival.

"Boomers' mentality may have stemmed from their parents who went through wars and economic uncertainty," writes Dr. Joseph. "Their survival mode mentality led them to cope by suppressing emotions and to display strength and grit."

This generation is tough. Baby Boomers grew up hearing stories about the Great Depression and World War II from their parents, which created a deep yearning for basic security. "Many older boomers did not have access to education about psychology, so they did not acknowledge emotions," Dr. Joseph notes. Instead, they focused on external validation, tangible achievements, and traditional markers of success. They frequently equate happiness and fulfillment with the "American Dream": Owning a home, raising a family, and having a stable career.

woman, generations, baby boomers, happiness, psychology Baby Boomers learned to survive. Photo credit: Instagram (@drjudithjoseph)

Dr. Joseph emphasizes this in her video when she emulates Baby Boomers, saying: "Of course I'm happy! I have a roof over my head, three hot meals a day, and I'm gainfully employed. What's there to be sad about?"

Generation X: The pragmatic generation

" Gen X was raised in the age of materialistic accumulation, and they were in the age of improving their individual states rather than focusing on those around them," Dr. Joseph observes.

"They were praised for being 'doers' and when situations were hard, they took a 'can-do' approach and focused on self-improvement strategies," she continues. "They were raised in a society that valued wealth and objects as symbols of status, and they often delayed happiness for the future."

Generation X, born between 1965 and 1980, came of age and witnessed economic uncertainty, recessions, and the end of the Cold War during their formative years. These experiences formed a pragmatic relationship with happiness, viewing it as something that can only be earned through hard work and delayed gratification.

woman, generations, gen x, happiness, psychology Generation X works themselves to the bone, in the hope of reaping rewards. Photo credit: Instagram (@drjudithjoseph)

In her Gen X get-up, a business suit worn straight home from the office, Dr. Joseph describes this generation's approach to happiness as thus:

"I work myself to the bone, but one day I'll have enough money in my bank to travel the world. I'll delay happiness until retirement."

Millennials: The meaning-seeking generation

Millennials represent a fundamental shift in the ways happiness is defined and pursued. Born between 1981 and 1996, unlike previous generations, Millennials prioritize meaningful work and experiences over material possessions.

"Millennials grew up in the age of internet convenience. They were the first generation to be born into an age of online access to platforms," Dr. Joseph explains. This unprecedented access to information and global connectivity shaped their worldview in profound ways. "They were also the first to have access to online knowledge and resources, so they search for a better life and meaning," she notes. "They are often overwhelmed with the idea of 'having it all' and they have high levels of financial stress, which makes happiness seem out of reach."

woman, generations, millennial, happiness, psychology Millennials changed the way we think about happiness. Photo credit: Instagram (@drjudithjoseph)

The Millennial approach to happiness often sounds like this: "I was just telling my therapist on our Zoom session that I can't afford to be happy. I have too much student loan debt."

Talk about accuracy.

Generation Z: The authentic generation

The youngest generation mentioned, Gen Z (born between 1997 and 2012), has the most complex, multi-faceted relationship to happiness. "Gen Z grew up in the age of social media where they connect in a digital age as digital natives," Dr. Joseph explains. "Their interactions online are just as valuable as interactions in person."

Happiness is deeply tied to authenticity and social justice for Zoomers. "They are deliberate about their choices to value their chosen community and set rigid boundaries and advocate openly for their preferences," Dr. Joseph notes. Gen Z has witnessed climate change, school shootings, political upheaval, and a global pandemic during their formative years, creating a unique perspective on what matters most.

woman, generations, gen z, happiness, psychology Gen Z is all about living in the moment. Photo credit: Instagram (@drjudithjoseph)

"They are fed up with the system that selects a small group for financial superiority and aren't afraid to leave a system that seems skewed for the wealthy," Dr. Joseph observes. This translates into a happiness philosophy that sounds like this: "Um, the world is melting, there's bad news everywhere. I'm just going to travel the world and be happy today because tomorrow isn't promised."

Your generation's experiences shaped you. That's okay.

Dr. Joseph's viral insights inspire us to recognize that happiness is not a one-size-fits-all concept; it's profoundly personal and shaped by generations. By embracing these differences, we can create empathetic workplaces, strengthen our families, and foster connected communities where everyone is empowered to thrive in their unique ways.


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5 ways people are going "all in" this week

From the silly to the sentimental, here are five ways people on the internet have been giving it their all.

5 ways people are going "all in" this week
5 ways people are going "all in" this week
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Going “all in” is its own kind of magic. Whether it’s a wildly energetic karaoke performance, a full-blown birthday bash for an elderly Chihuahua, or an over-the-top homecoming proposal (more on that in a moment), there’s something undeniably joyful about witnessing pure, unfiltered enthusiasm. Seeing that kind of passion and creativity, you can’t help but smile.

To celebrate that all-or-nothing spirit, we’ve rounded up some of the internet’s finest examples (at least for this week) of people fully committing to the bit. Prepare to be impressed, amazed, and maybe even a little inspired to go “all in” yourself.

1. This high school biology project

@jimcheo jordin sparks said it best #funny #funnyvideos ♬ No Air (feat. Chris Brown) - Jordin Sparks

Oh, to be in high school again. The days where you could be as silly as you wanted and still somehow get an A (for effort). This student-made video—a project for biology class, explaining the respiratory system—is the perfect example of a high school assignment, as well as a great example of someone truly going “all in.” Does this explain the respiratory system? Kind of! But is it full of creativity, passion, and genuine hilarity? Absolutely. The dedication it took to make this video alone—and the enthusiasm of the kids that made it—certainly deserves an A.

2. The Grandma Stand

One thing that’s great to go “all in” on is spreading cheer and joy—and that’s what our friends are doing this week with The Grandma Stand.

The premise is simple: You’ve got a grandma at a booth who gets people talking about the good stuff in their lives. Today’s question? What’s one small thing that brings you joy? The answers are sweet and thoughtful, and the result is a whole lot of goodwill (and hugs!) between total strangers. That’s always lovely to see.

Another thing we like to go “all in” on? Saving money. And right now our friends at All In are giving us a fantastic deal on some seriously tasty snacks. To get a free (!!!) box of their organic snack bars, sign up with your phone number on Aisle, grab two boxes of All In bars at Sprouts, snap a pic of your receipt, and text it through Aisle. They’ll Venmo or PayPal you back for the cost of one box, and then all you have left to do is enjoy your new favorite treat. Easy peasy.

3. This extremely specific HOCO proposal 

@dawson002256 best hoco proposal ever #fyp #hoco #viral #proposal ♬ original sound - .

Speaking of high school: Gone are the days where you can simply walk up to someone in the hallway and ask them to be your date to homecoming or prom. Kids these days are starting their own tradition—elaborate staged “proposals” in order to officially pop the question: Will you go to the dance with me?

Homecoming proposals are a perfect example of going “all in,” just by themselves—but this particular one is truly special. The creator shares that she loves sharks and is afraid of butterflies, so for a truly unique and heartfelt “proposal,” her potential date actually dresses up like a shark and stages a massive fight with his friends—all dressed in butterfly costumes—on her front lawn. The commitment, the creativity—it’s all here, on full display. (And she said yes, by the way!)

4. The Anthropologie rock prank 

@phoebeadams112

His full on crash out at the end HAHA

♬ original sound - Phoebe Adams

The internet has been obsessed with this viral prank, and it’s not hard to see why: Not only is it hilarious, the women who are doing the pranking are truly committing to the bit.

The prank started with one content creator, Phoebe Adams, who posted a TikTok of her unboxing a package in front of her boyfriend, Dan. Adams, bursting with excitement, pries open the box to reveal…a rock. But this isn’t any ordinary rock, she explains, gushing over how “perfect” it is. This particular rock is one-of-a-kind, from the bougie retail chain Anthropologie—and it only cost $150. It was on sale!

Dan, rightfully, is horrified and confused. But Adams keeps on torturing him: “This isn’t a regular rock! It’s a one-of-a-kind rock they found on the ground.” (“That’s where rocks COME FROM!” --Dan)

The best part is that this prank quickly went viral, and other creators are following in Adams’ footsteps. Husbands and dads everywhere are confused. It's mayhem. And probably the funniest thing that's happened on the internet this year.

(Even Anthropologie (the brand) has gotten in on the fun. That’s true commitment.)

5. The most elaborate (and fun) wedding entrance we've ever seen 

@benaholtzman Nothing says ‘forever’ like forcing your friends to learn the dance from Miss Congeniality 💍✨ #oneinamillion #weddingtok #weddingentrance #misscongeniality ♬ original sound - Ben Holtzman

We’ve all seen the movie Miss Congeniality, right? For those of you who weren’t teenage girls growing up in the early aughts, allow us to break it down: Sandra Bullock plays Grace Hart, a frazzled special agent working for the FBI. After an extensive makeover (because every movie from the late nineties and early aughts loved a good makeover montage), Gracie enters the Miss America Pageant undercover as Gracie Lou Freebush to prevent an act of terrorism that’s been threatened to go down during the competition. Long story short, it’s a feel-good classic with some of the most memorable movie lines in cinema. (“What is your idea of a perfect date?” “I’d have to say April 25th, because it’s not too hot, not too cold—all you need is a light jacket!”)

In the movie, the contestants all enter the stage to introduce themselves to the audience in a choreographed number to the song “One in a Million”—and so that’s exactly what these two grooms (presumably huge fans of the movie) have done for their wedding entrance. The choreographed sequence involves the grooms and their wedding party (and maybe even some of the guests), and they all truly give an unforgettable performance. Whether you’re a fan of this movie or you’ve never seen it, this wedding entrance really is one in a million.

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Man visits his empty home and discovers squatters, so he moves in with them

Talk about toxic roomies.

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A couple moves boxes into their new home

Picture it: you buy a new home knowing it's a bit of a fixer upper, but it's yours. You're expecting to move in slowly while you work on the house, but when you make your way to your new-to-you home, someone is already living there. Or maybe you're selling a home that's been sitting vacant and when the realtor gets there to show the property, someone has moved in. What do you do?

The logical answer would be to call the police because, clearly, there are intruders in your home who have made it their own. You have all the paperwork showing you own the property so it should be a no brainer. Wrong.

Marco Velazquez had this very situation happen when trying to sell a vacant home that he owns. When he reached out to the local authorities, he was informed that the people who moved into his home unlawfully cannot be forced out.

Under the current law in Illinois where the incident took place, squatters have rights and the police cannot forcibly remove squatters from the home. It's unclear if the squatters were scammed or if they were aware the property was not legally theirs as they presented police officers with mortgage paperwork, but the mortgage company listed did not exist.

squatters, squatters' rights, homeowner rights, Marco Velazquez, property dispute, Illinois law, moving in with squatters, viral story, real estate nightmare, eviction Row of boarded-up homesCanva

No matter how the couple came about living in the home, it wasn't legally theirs. There needed to be a resolution, but they weren't interested in leaving. That's when the homeowner decided to come up with something a little out of the box: Velazquez decided if the people in his home couldn't be removed, they'd be getting a new roommate–him.

"I said I'm not moving out and I said at one point they gotta leave, they gotta get tired of us being in the property. I called a couple of friends to stay overnight and I knew they were not gonna like that," Velazquez says to ABC 7 Chicago.

The homeowner moved in with his wife and several friends, bringing air mattresses and blankets determined to tire out the squatters. However, it quickly became apparent that the illegal tenants were not planning to move out. In actuality, the morning after Velazquez moved in, the squatters demanded he pay them $8,000 for them to move out. While the stunt of moving in with squatters was a Hail Mary, Velazquez knew that the arrangement wasn't safe and heard stories of squatters staying for months.

squatters, squatters' rights, homeowner rights, Marco Velazquez, property dispute, Illinois law, moving in with squatters, viral story, real estate nightmare, eviction A man walks down a alleyCanva

Instead of continuing to wait out the squatters, the man started negotiations with the couple to get them out of his house so it could be sold. He paid the couple $4,300 to leave his home. Shortly after the pair moved out, he learned that the woman had previously been arrested after squatting in someone else's home. Velazquez is hoping that he can also bring charges against the woman and her male partner for squatting in his home.

"We didn't want to give them money but we heard really bad stories about squatters taking over properties six, eight, ten months, even a year," Velazquez says. "I heard stories before about squatters. I never thought it was going to happen to me."

- YouTube www.youtube.com

This article originally appeared earlier this year. It has been updated.

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Woman who saw the 'fake news' era coming secretly recorded everything she could for 30 years

It took four shipping containers to transport Marion Stokes' tapes to be digitally archived.

Photo credit: Canva/Marion Stokes via Wikimedia

Woman secretly recorded everything for 30 years, predicting rise of 'fake news.'

Fake news is something that is said so often that it seems to have taken on an alternate meaning. If someone dislikes something, they often claim it's fake news. If a news station reports something that contradicts a deeply held belief, a person may dismiss it as fake news. However, in reality, fake news is propaganda that aims to persuade viewers to believe something that contradicts factual information that can be proven.

Marion Stokes, concerned about the possibility of people attempting to deny factual national or global events, decided she'd be the keeper of the truth. The determined woman began recording news broadcasts on her VCR in 1979 as a means to preserve the truth, showcasing how the story evolved over time with different news outlets and varying viewpoints.

Marion Stokes; secret recordings; VHS; VCR tapes; recording news; fake news Retro vibes: setting up for a classic VHS movie night!Photo credit: Canva

Stokes's recordings didn't stop when one news broadcast was over. The frequent Philadelphia Current Affairs guest would record the news 24 hours a day, every day of the week, in an effort to capture the 24-hour news cycle. Yes, even when she was asleep, the news was being recorded. In a 2023 interview with the BBC, her son, Michael Metelits, explains her reasoning and how she did it.

"There were probably between five to six, sometimes up to eight, video cassette recorders in different rooms. And she or her assistant would scurry between the rooms, changing the video cassettes. They would be set to different channels, each one would have a pile of video cassettes next to it," he tells the outlet. "She really felt that preserving the 24-hour news cycle would...if people had access to that information, would enable people to make better decisions about politics and understand how news media worked a bit better, by seeing how the story changed over time, by providing access to sometimes alternative perspectives, but sometimes a range of perspectives."

Metelits further explains that he could see the value of people being able to witness how a story evolved, but that his mother possessed a compulsion that couldn't be denied. Stokes recorded news broadcasts from 1979 until her death in 2012, accumulating a collection of over 70,000 videotapes that contained entire news broadcasts. It required multiple shipping containers to house the tapes and send them to the Internet Archive, where they were digitized and uploaded for public access.

She didn't just collect video recordings of news broadcasts; she also had a newspaper collection from multiple newspaper subscriptions, hundreds of magazines, and multiple Macintosh computers. In fact, her interest in Macintosh computers led to her in-laws becoming very wealthy after Stokes encouraged them to invest in the company in its early years. Whether intentionally or due to her supposed undiagnosed hoarding condition, Stokes was an archivist determined to document things that might otherwise become lost. Thanks to her decades of unpaid work, people have access to broadcasts that may have otherwise been lost to time.

A documentary was released in 2019 about Stokes, who was also a producer of public access television. The film Recorder: The Marion Stokes Project premiered at the Tribeca Film Festival before being theatrically released and subsequently released on streaming services, where it is still available to watch.

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These 4 words can keep a conversation flowing forever no matter how bad you are at small talk

There's literally no way to screw this up.

Credit: Canva

A couple talking over coffee.

Many people find making small talk to be an excruciating experience. They think it’s boring to talk with a stranger about the weather, sports, or weekend plans. They may also feel like they don’t have anything to contribute to the conversation, or they don’t understand the point of having one in the first place.

However, those who excel at making small talk have a tremendous advantage in their professional and romantic relationships, as well as forming new friendships. Most importantly, small talk is a window to transition into medium talk or, eventually, deep, meaningful conversations. The problem is that many people get stuck in small talk, and things stall before progressing to something beneficial.

conversation, friends, small talk, chatting Two women chatting in front of a fire. Credit: Atlantic Ambience/Pexels

How to get better at small talk

The great thing is that, like anything, making small talk is a skill that we can all improve by learning some simple conversation techniques. One technique that is great for keeping a conversation going, like hitting a ball back and forth past a net in tennis, is a simple statement:

"It reminds me of…”

A Redditor recently shared some great examples of how the phrase can be used to turn a mundane topic, such as the weather, into something much more fun:

Them: "It's been really rainy, huh?"

You:

Option 1 (Personal Story): "Yeah, it reminds me of a time I went on a run in the rain and nearly got hit by a car."

Option 2 (Music / Pop Culture): "It reminds me of every Adele song. When I'm driving, I feel like I'm in a music video."

Option 3 (Family): "It reminds me of my dad, he used to love playing with us in the rain as kids."

Option 4 (Thing you watched / World News): "It reminds me of this documentary I saw where they're trying to make it rain in the Sahara Desert.”

Option 5 (Place you lived): “It reminds me of when I lived in Australia, it barely ever rained there. I actually love this weather.”


- YouTube www.youtube.com

You see in this example that using “It reminds me of…” opened up the conversation to five potential new and more exciting topics. The “You” in the story could have responded with, “Yeah, it sure is rainy,” and the conversation would have ended right there. But instead, branching off the topic of rain into something a bit deeper took the conversation to the next level. You get extra points if you can take the “reminds me of” into a topic that you assume the other person will be interested in.

What’s a polite way to change the topic in a conversation?

Using “this reminds me of…” is also a polite way to move the topics in another direction, especially when it's a topic that you don’t want to discuss or one that makes you feel a bit uncomfortable. Or, if it’s a situation where the other person is monologuing on one topic for a very long time, this makes it easy to transition away from their diatribe.

conversation, small talk, chatting, cafe Two guys chat at a cafe. Credit: Helena Lopes/Pexels

Ultimately, the phrase is an excellent way for you to save the person you’re talking to from being stuck in the small talk rut as well. It shows you understand that when someone brings up the weather, they are merely getting things started with something both of you have in common. They probably don’t want to talk about the weather for 30 minutes, unless they are a meteorologist. “It reminds me of…” is an invitation to go a bit deeper and shows the other person that you’d like to learn more about them.

This article originally appeared in April. It has been updated.


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First grade teacher's fierce 'private parts' song is shifting the way we talk about abuse

"They need to know the value in their 'no.'"

Photo credit: Canva

Kids should feel empowered to set body boundaries.

First grade teacher, Gelda Waterboer, went viral across the world in August of 2025 for passionately singing a song to her students at a school in Namibia. This wasn't just any song, though. It was a cautionary tale about understanding body autonomy and reporting abuse. She sang this with her whole heart—and quite possibly, the most moving aspect of it was that the kids knew every word. There was nothing unclear about the message.

The lyrics of the song, set to a familiar nursery-rhyme melody, were simple: "These are my private parts, private parts, private parts, these are my private parts, no one should touch them." As she sings, she vaguely illustrates the areas that are considered "private." She continues, "And if you touch my private parts, private parts, private parts, if you touch my private parts, I will tell my mother. I will tell my father. I will tell my teacher."

The clip, which has now received over 16 million likes on TikTok alone, has been described as brave and essential, albeit for some, it's a bit divisive. Many in the comments mention what they describe as "aggression," so Waterboer took to TikTok to address it.

As you hear the sound of kids playing in the background, Waterboer points out how many views (and counting) the clip has. "This makes me (to) realize, that there is a great need of awareness that needs to be spread when it comes to the safety of the kids. I wish I had a teacher like me growing up."

Referring to the comment section, "Some of the comments are really funny. But some are like 'the teacher is taking this personal. The teacher is so aggressive. I'm so scared.'" She adds, "I wish I had a teacher who would firmly tell me that it is okay to say no to people you also trust. That you have the right over your body. I take this personally because I wish I knew that growing up. And if you are someone that grew up in a safe environment, if you are someone that is privileged enough not to undergo certain things these kids are going through, you would sit there and say that she's so aggressive."

"Guys, I'm telling you some matters need to be addressed with seriousness. They need to know the value in their 'no.'"

She also notes how taboo the topic has traditionally been, which might halt children from speaking up and may be the root cause of some of the negative comments. "As Africans, we take such topics as taboo...For me, as long as I'm a teacher, I have vowed that I will be the teacher that I never had growing up...I will make sure that I'm that teacher that I needed when I was growing up. I will be that teacher that will provide protection for these kids. I will be that teacher that will make sure that they will come to their highest potential of their self. So excuse me, if I was so 'aggressive.' Because yes, it's personal for me. It's very personal."

Joe Vercellino, voted Detroit's Teacher of the Year in 2021, shared his thoughts on the video with Upworthy, heaping praise on Waterboer. "In a world where parents are wondering what their kids are being taught in school about their own body, you should be grateful to have this in the playlist."

Vercellino tours schools, visiting nearly half a million students a year, with his group The Lion Heart Experience. They provide much-need positive programming to students, also sharing catchy songs about self-worth with lyrics like, "I have worth, I have value, I have a beautiful future."

The Lion Heart Experience shares their song about self-worth. www.youtube.com, The Lion Heart Experience

With regard to the people who find it offensive, he says, "It almost throws you off-guard at first, you are almost hit with a wave of offense then you realize, this is exactly what I want my kid to know and believe."

Ciara Bogdanovic, LMFT, also spoke with Upworthy, adding how valuable these kinds of difficult conversations with children are. "Talking about this is not a one and done conversation. It’s an ongoing teaching of helping children say no, assert their own boundaries, and to learn that they have agency over their bodies."

It's a vulnerable topic for sure, but one that must be continued for the safety of kids. Oprah Winfrey has been extremely open on the subject, sharing her own experience with childhood molestation to caution children and their parents on how insidiously common it is. Just a few years ago, she re-broached the topic on her Apple+ TV series, The Me You Can't See, which was co-produced by Prince Harry. After sharing her story of being sexually assaulted by a cousin starting at age nine, she told Harry, "I had no idea what sex was, I had no idea where babies came from, I didn’t even know what was happening to me, and I kept that secret."

Oprah Winfrey shares vulnerable thoughts about trauma on The Today Show www.youtube.com, The Today Show

But it was a teacher who intervened and saved her from the situation. "It’s the reason why for so many years I wanted to be a teacher, to be able to give to other kids what my teachers had given to me.”

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Woman shares 'weird' things her family did growing up. Now everyone wants her parents.

As one commenter wrote, "I thought parents never knew what they were doing but yours DID."

Courtesy of @michel.c.janse/TikTok

Michel Janse had some intentional, fun-loving parents.

There are lots of ways to be a good parent and lots of ways to be a crappy parent, and once you become a parent, you realize that the difference between the two isn't always clear. You might think you're doing something great for your kids, only to have it backfire and realize it was a mistake. Or you might think you're really screwing up the whole thing, but eventually see that you've given your kids exactly what they needed.

Once in a while, though, you see a parenting example that makes you go, "Whoa, now that's how it's done." That's exactly what people are saying about Michel Janse's video, which describes the "weird" things her family did while she was growing up (which she realized halfway through were probably just stellar parenting hacks).

@michel.c.janse

weird things (maybe?) my family did growing up. But now I’m realizing most of these were just parenting hacks

"We had even and odd days for healthy and unhealthy breakfasts," Janse shares. "What does that mean? It means we would get cereal on like the first, third, fifth, seventh, and we'd have to have like eggs and fruit on the second, fourth, sixth…it was my mom's way of being like, 'These are the rules, you can't have sugary cereal every day. You have to have protein today, sorry."

Janse says her parents bought poker chips that they used for screen time currency. Each poker chip represented 10 minutes of screen time (which included computer time or TV time during her childhood), and they received three chips a day. If they wanted to watch a 2-hour movie, they'd have to save their chips up for four days.

chips, parenting hacks, parenting, screen time, gif, clever Card Game Poker GIF Giphy

"We got $12 a week allowance if we did above and beyond chores," she said. "We had mandatory chores, but then there was like weed the whole garden, clean the baseboards, and whatever if we wanted to get our $12." Then they were given three piggy banks, one for giving/generosity, one for savings, and one for play. "As a kid, we got it into our mind that 50% of this we get now, and 40% goes into savings and 10% goes into generosity, whether that's tithing or whatever."

She explained how her parents "gamified" dinner by creating teams (usually her and her mom versus her sister and her dad) and competing to see who could out-theme the other. They would plan out the meal, including going to the store to get the necessary ingredients, and they'd decorate the table according to the theme they had come up with. "It was SO fun," Janse said.

Then she shared how she and her sister had to "recycle" all of their Ziploc bags, bringing them home from their school lunches, washing them out, and reusing them. She said she was embarrassed rinsing out her baggy at school, but now she sees her family as "sustainable kings and queens."

family, parenting, kids, playing games, card games Family playing cardsPhoto credit: Canva

From switching off who got to sit in the front seat by using odd and even days to bringing cards everywhere they go so they can break out a game of Spades at any time, Janse's parents seemed to have a knack for making parenting both fun and effective, which is really the ultimate goal, isn't it?

People in the comments were impressed, especially those who may not have had the most wholesome or healthy upbringing:

"'Weird things that my family does' and it’s the best parenting I’ve ever heard."

"I love whatever is wrong with your parents 😂"

"Ah, so you were RAISED raised."

"Please don’t delete this until i have kids."

"Sorry, but your parents are brilliant. They created healthy boundaries and responsibility."

"Some of y'all fr don't got trauma? I didn't even know that was an option."

"Get your mom a mic and put her on camera, NEOW!"

"I thought parents never knew what they were doing but yours DID."

"This is a very balanced and healthy way to raise kids. Taught y'all responsibility, health competition, financial literacy, empathy, creativity, sustainability, sharing, hard work and reward. They did a great job."

So many people said they were taking notes and asking for more, so Janse did a series of follow-up videos with more memories of how her parents parented and answered people's questions:


@michel.c.janse

Replying to @Caisee here’s some fun cute things they did that shaped me 🥹🥰

It truly is wonderful to see so many practical examples of stellar parenting and how those choices still impact someone as an adult. You can watch more of Janse's follow-up videos about her parents' intentional approach to parenting on her TikTok channel.


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