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Boomer and Gen X Americans share the money advice that got them through tough economic times

"Perseverance. One of our best traits."

boomer, boomers, gen x, money, financial advice
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Boomers and Gen Xers share financial advice for making it through hard economic times.

Surviving hard economic times builds grit and character, and almost every generation has had to deal with difficult financial challenges. Two generations who are especially equipped to offer their wisdom about weathering through tough times, though, are Boomers and Gen Xers.

In a Reddit forum, member @Fit_Trifle2469 posed the question to followers: "Dear Boomers and Gen X: What got you through tough economic times?"

They followed up with more explanation behind the prompt. "Millennial here (33). I wanted to reach out and hear from those of you who’ve lived through major recessions, such as 2000 and 2008," they wrote. "I'm really interested in your perspective — not just for myself, but for others who might stumble across this thread someday when times get rough again."

Boomers and Gen Xers who have been through difficult financial times and hardships opened up to share their wisdom. These are some of their best pieces of advice for tough economic times.

penny pinch, save, money advice, saving, count moneyMoney Management GIF by Robert E BlackmonGiphy

"When I graduated HS in 1981, unemployment was 10 percent and mortgages were 17 percent. Inflation was 8 percent. I had no job and couldn't find one. That's when my step-father threw me out. I was going to be homeless so I joined the Army. It was one day at a time, one foot in front of the other and I marched on. What else can you do? Eventually things got better. Much, much better." —@Distwalker

"Perseverance. One of our best traits." —@SharonWit

"Downsize everything ......phone...phone plan.... car.... cook food at home .....pack a lunch for work....debt consolidation and make that one payment........no credit card usage..... entertainment was checking out free library books and reading them......thrift store shopping......trade/barter services and items on craigslist." —@Express-Rutabega-105

meal prep, prep meals, food prep, cheap meals, food savingsGIF by NRDCGiphy

"Don’t waste any food - plan meals accordingly so as not to waste anything, buy discounted meat, bread, fruit and veg. All meat gets cut up for meals so it can last longer - nobody gets a steak for themselves, one cheap, marinated steak cut into strips and added to rice and veggies for 3-4 meals. Eggs (they’re still cheap where I live) and a 50lb bag of potatoes are your new best friends unless you like pasta then you are much easier to feed. Get condiment packets from restaurants -my partner made an order and forgot to grab ketchup etc. I don’t miss being poor but I can still feed the fam relatively well on a very, very tight budget." —@drivingthelittles

"Living as cheap as possible out of sheer spite."—@OldLadyMorgendorffer

"I'll be adding to this list with edits as my brain dump continues:

  1. Everyone will lie to your face brazenly about layoffs - don't believe anyone when they say things are fine. The more they say everything is fine, the worse it actually is.
  2. Understand when your industry is getting f@cked and start developing alternatives or fallback options early, not AFTER you get laid off. (Software engineers right now should have realized a year ago at least their industry was getting screwed, as a specific example)
  3. Know the impact of systemic shifts (outsourcing and drive to the internet previously, AI now) and how you can counteract those as best possible, move to a role that isn't as likely to be clobbered as hard.
  4. Learn to cook healthy meals on the cheap - take out is $, but so is eating like sh!t. You can cook en-masse on Sunday and freeze for the week, but work on a plan to move to "high efficiency meal planning".
  5. Reduce your systemic expenses - if you've had "lifestyle creep" ratchet that crap back before you are in the crosshairs financially.
  6. Do your planned maintenance of stuff - now now now, later is NOT going to be better. If it's due, get it done." —@GreatResetBet

rolling stones, cant always get what you want, mick jagger, rolling stones gif, jaggerthe rolling stones GIFGiphy

"Live within your means. Avoid debt. Don’t worry about keeping up with the Jones. Focus on your partner. We in our mid 60s, lived through tough times and even though we didn’t have the income to support it, put both their children through private high school at their request. Money was tight, but there’s a lot of ways to enjoy life that don’t include having a lot of money. Remember the line from the Rolling Stones: 'you can’t always get what you want, but if you try, sometimes, you get what you need'." —@ethanrotman
"Save during the good times. During the ‘08 crash, we had several friends who lost their homes to foreclosure. These were all hardworking people. We had been very good about saving and living below our means. The rainy day fund helped tremendously. They say, pay yourself first. I know it can be difficult but even 50/week will grow over time." —@joysheart

potluck, potluck dinner, potlucks, potluck meal, potluck mealsPot Luck GIF by PartifulGiphy

"Do everything to keep a job, when the recession hits if you at least have a job you can pay the bills. Stop buying things except for food and must haves. Do you really need a lot of cleaning supplies? Makeup? Clothes? Dinner out? No. Cook your own food, learn to enjoy the outdoors, have pot luck dinners with friends." —@eatmore-plants
"It's honestly just lowering expectations and cutting out all but necessary expenses and shopping sales. We're still in our starter home because of the housing collapse. We were underwater for years and then the kids started school. It's about appreciating the little things." —@whatevertoad

grit, understanding, hard work, perspective, resilientRobert Redford Yes GIF by GritTVGiphy

"The things that get you through tough times emotionally are your social network, keeping perspective, and your own personal grit. The things that get you through tough times financially are things like keeping your living expenses relatively low, living below your means, putting money away for hard times, and keeping up your job skills and professional networks." —@Shot-Artichoke-4106
"We got hit hard in both recessions and it was really hard to rebound because we were young and not well-established. We made it through by living as frugally as possible and avoiding 'lifestyle creep.' Also, one thing we got in a habit of doing was every year when we got our income tax refund (back when we still got refunds), we’d pay our car insurance in full for the year, put some in the kids’ college accounts, and put the rest in our house down payment fund." —@Mammoth-Ad-4806
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Education

Why didn't people smile in old-timey photographs? A smile meant something different back then.

Our perceptions of smiling have changed dramatically since the 1800s.

via Public Domain

Photos from the 1800s were so serious.

If you've ever perused photographs from the 19th and early 20th century, you've likely noticed how serious everyone looked. If there's a hint of a smile at all, it's oh-so-slight, but more often than not, our ancestors looked like they were sitting for a sepia-toned mug shot or being held for ransom or something. Why didn't people smile in photographs? Was life just so hard back then that nobody smiled? Were dour, sour expressions just the norm?

Most often, people's serious faces in old photographs are blamed on the long exposure time of early cameras, and that's true. Taking a photo was not an instant event like it is now; people had to sit still for many minutes in the 1800s to have their photo taken.

Ever try holding a smile for only one full minute? It's surprisingly difficult and very quickly becomes unnatural. A smile is a quick reaction, not a constant state of expression. Even people we think of as "smiley" aren't toting around full-toothed smiles for minutes on end. When you had to be still for several minutes to get your photo taken, there was just no way you were going to hold a smile for that long.

But there are other reasons besides long exposure times that people didn't smile in early photographs.


mona lisa, leonardo da vinci, classic paintings, famous smiles, art"Mona Lisa" by Leonardo da Vinci, painted in 1503Public domain

The non-smiling precedent had already been set by centuries of painted portraits

The long exposure times for early photos may have contributed to serious facial expressions, but so did the painted portraits that came before them. Look at all of the portraits of famous people throughout history prior to cameras. Sitting to be painted took hours, so smiling was out of the question. Other than the smallest of lip curls like the Mona Lisa, people didn't smile for painted portraits, so why would people suddenly think it normal to flash their pearly whites (which were not at all pearly white back then) for a photographed one? It simply wasn't how it was done.

A smirk? Sometimes. A full-on smile? Practically never.

old photos, black and white photos, algerian immigrant, turban, Algerian immigrant to the United States. Photographed on Ellis Island by Augustus F. Sherman.via William Williams/Wikimedia Commons

Smiling usually indicated that you were a fool or a drunkard

Our perceptions of smiling have changed dramatically since the 1800s. In explaining why smiling was considered taboo in portraits and early photos, art historian Nicholas Jeeves wrote in Public Domain Review:

"Smiling also has a large number of discrete cultural and historical significances, few of them in line with our modern perceptions of it being a physical signal of warmth, enjoyment, or indeed of happiness. By the 17th century in Europe it was a well-established fact that the only people who smiled broadly, in life and in art, were the poor, the lewd, the drunk, the innocent, and the entertainment […] Showing the teeth was for the upper classes a more-or-less formal breach of etiquette."

drunks, classic painting, owls, malle babbe, paintings"Malle Babbe" by Frans Hals, sometime between 1640 and 1646Public domain


In other words, to the Western sensibility, smiling was seen as undignified. If a painter did put a smile on the subject of a portrait, it was a notable departure from the norm, a deliberate stylistic choice that conveyed something about the artist or the subject.

Even the artists who attempted it had less-than-ideal results. It turns out that smiling is such a lively, fleeting expression that the artistically static nature of painted portraits didn't lend itself well to showcasing it. Paintings that did have subjects smiling made them look weird or disturbing or drunk. Simply put, painting a genuine, natural smile didn't work well in portraits of old.

As a result, the perception that smiling was an indication of lewdness or impropriety stuck for quite a while, even after Kodak created snapshot cameras that didn't have the long exposure time problem. Even happy occasions had people nary a hint of joy in the photographs that documented them.

Another reason why people didn't smile in old photos is that dental hygiene wasn't the same as it is today, and people may have been self-conscious about their teeth. “People had lousy teeth, if they had teeth at all, which militated against opening your mouth in social settings,” Angus Trumble, the director of the National Portrait Gallery in Canberra, Australia, and author of A Brief History of the Smile, said, according to Time.


wedding party photo, wedding, old weddings, black and white, serious photos, no smilesEven wedding party photos didn't appear to be joyful occasions.Wikimedia Commons


Then along came movies, which may have changed the whole picture

So how did we end up coming around to grinning ear to ear for photos? Interestingly enough, it may have been the advent of motion pictures that pushed us towards smiling being the norm.

Photos could have captured people's natural smiles earlier—we had the technology for taking instant photos—but culturally, smiling wasn't widely favored for photos until the 1920s. One theory about that timing is that the explosion of movies enabled us to see emotions of all kinds playing out on screen, documenting the fleeting expressions that portraits had failed to capture. Culturally, it became normalized to capture, display and see all kind of emotions on people's faces. As we got more used to that, photo portraits began portraying people in a range of expression rather than trying to create a neutral image of a person's face.

Changing our own perceptions of old photo portraits to view them as neutral rather than grumpy or serious can help us remember that people back then were not a bunch of sourpusses, but people who experienced as wide a range of emotion as we do, including joy and mirth. Unfortunately, we just rarely get to see them in that state before the 1920s.

This article originally appeared last year.

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People from other countries share 14 things that instantly tell them someone's American

Have you ever heard of the "American lean"?

via zoetnet/Flickr, Ewen Roberts/Flickr and Tom Hodgkinson/Flickr
Some American tourists enjoying the sights

Americans have a style and personality all their own, which isn’t a bad thing. It’s just noticeable when they travel aboard. Americans often stand out because of their outgoing personalities. They are friendly and enjoy having casual conversations with strangers.

This is an endearing trait to a lot of people in more reserved cultures, although it can also come off as a little brash.

An American characteristic that isn’t quite endearing to people in other countries is that they can be rather loud. In Europe, one can always notice the Americans in the restaurant because they can be heard from across the room.

One Reddit user wanted to know the specific ways that Americans stand out when traveling abroad, so they asked the AskReddit subreddit: “What’s an obvious sign that someone is an American?”


american tourists, american culture, americans abroad, americans, USA, tourists, travel, europe, cultureIt may not be quite this obvious, but Americans do stand out.Giphy

The post was popular, receiving nearly 6,000 responses in just 6 days. The most popular ones described how Americans' unique personalities, style of dress, dental hygiene and body language make them easy to spot.

Here are 14 “obvious” signs that someone is an American.

1. Posture

american tourists, american culture, americans abroad, americans, USA, tourists, travel, europe, cultureAmericans slouch and lean.Giphy

"Apparently, the CIA trains American agents to not lean on things if they go undercover in foreign countries because Americans lean on anything they can while standing around," one user wrote.

"I bet MI6 trains British agents to lean on everything if they go undercover in America because Americans lean on anything they can while standing around," joked another.

Shockingly, this is actually true. The "American lean" is well-documented and, yes, a former CIA chief has said publicly that it's something the agency addresses with its operatives to help them blend in.

2. The date

"MMDDYYYY," a user said.

The way Americans write the date seems normal and commonplace when you're in the US, but around the world, we're practically the only ones who do it that way. Similarly, only a small handful of countries outside of the US use the imperial system of measure.

Writing the date or using feet and inches are a dead giveaway!

3. Distances are different

"Anything under 4 hours is 'close by," someone suggested.

"Everything in Europe is around the corner if you're from the US. I can drive the whole day and not leave my state, but in Europe, I can pass through 4 countries in that same time frame," said another.

The massive geography of the United States has a big affect on how we see distance. It shows up when we travel to other countries that are more densely packed together.

4. They're polite to servers

"In the touristy cafe-restaurant I worked at:

If they asked me for the nicest spot we had

If they asked me my recommendation without seeing the menu first

I would walk to the table, and they would say right away ‘hey, how are you doing?’ This one threw me off a lot at first. Why is this person asking me how I'm doing?? I'm just there to take the order. I got used to it, and I think they found my awkwardness cute.

They would ask my name when I greeted them and took their order.

I'm Northern European.," explained one user.

"It’s under-appreciated just how polite, friendly, and sincere Americans are in general. It blew my mind the first time I came to the US, and I love that my children are growing up with those same values," said another.

You might expect to hear that Americans are rude and entitled when traveling, but that's not necessarily the case! In America, some friendly rapport with your waiter is expected, and Americans tend to be a more outgoing bunch that love to engage. That makes them stand out in European countries, in particular, where restaurant service is meant to be professional and efficient rather than charismatic.


5. The water bottles

american tourists, american culture, americans abroad, americans, USA, tourists, travel, europe, cultureAmericans love huge water bottles.Giphy

"I was told, 'Americans carry water bottles around like they're worried they'll never have access to clean water ever again," one user said.

"I don't care what anyone says. If you think carrying a water bottle when walking a lot is weird, you're probably slightly dehydrated all the time and are just desensitized to it. You seriously need to drink water frequently if you want to be ideally healthy," said another.

The water bottle fad is uniquely American, for better or worse. Whether it's a Yeti, a Stanley, an Owalla, or something else, you can bet if someone is swinging a massive water bottle wherever they walk, they're an American.

6. Smiling

"I was in Germany this past summer, and I realized smiling at everyone you make eye contact with is very American. When I went to London on the same trip, they seemed less weirded out by it but would awkwardly return the smile. I was taught to always start with a disarming smile. Never realized it was American," said one person.

7. "More ice, please."

american tourists, american culture, americans abroad, americans, USA, tourists, travel, europe, cultureAmericans love tons of ice in their drinks.Giphy

"I spent a year in Europe completely iceless to the point I forgot that was a thing. I stopped at a bar in Chicago fresh off the plane and not only did I get free tap water, but water with ice. I instantly felt at home," added one person.

There is a long and fascinating history involving someone called "The Ice King" behind why Americans, and so few other cultures, love to put tons of ice in our drinks. Needless to say, it makes us stand out like a sore thumb when traveling.

8. Personal space

"As an American man, I’ve been told repeatedly by European and Asian friends that we simply take up space (not by being fat) as though we’re entitled to it. Men in other countries apparently don’t claim the same personal space we do," one person offered.

You mean manspreading? Apparently, other cultures don't do that.

9. White teeth

american tourists, american culture, americans abroad, americans, USA, tourists, travel, europe, cultureAmericans value ultra-white teeth.Giphy

"It’s even more bizarre that they assume we have braces or bleach our teeth because they’re straight and white. I have naturally straight white teeth. I brush them twice a day so they stay white. I don’t do anything special to them, but I remember being in London and some similar-aged students literally making fun of me for my teeth… it’s true that they don’t naturally look like headstones in an ancient graveyard, but there’s no need to make fun," someone added.

Imagine getting made fun of for having white teeth! For one reason or another, American culture places high value on having extremely white teeth. We all know the old jokes about British teeth, but some findings show that while Americans' teeth may be whiter, Brits may be healthier overall. Something to think about.

10. Casual dress

"My friend went to Germany recently, and what people said about Americans is you can spot them a mile away because they’re the ones wearing pajamas in public. Apparently, in other countries, at least Germany, they dress a little more formally and in less baggy clothes than we do in America," someone added.

Activewear, sweatpants, pajamas — we love to be comfortable! But it does make us a bit obvious when we're out and about in other countries.

11. Baseball hats

american tourists, american culture, americans abroad, americans, USA, tourists, travel, europe, cultureAmericans wear hats... everywhere.Giphy

"Baseball cap... even on an infant riding in a pram," a user suggested.

Baseball hats are common in many countries around the world, but most people internationally only wear them outside. If someone's wearing a cap inside or at a restaurant, it's a safe bet that person is American.

12. Shoes

"Americans are shoe snobs (they don’t think they are, but they are). Setting aside wealthier business types, Americans generally wear more on-brand, on-trend, high-quality shoes than others," someone said.

13. They're loud

american tourists, american culture, americans abroad, americans, USA, tourists, travel, europe, cultureAmericans' default volume is loud.Giphy

"That was my first thought. Americans yell at each other in normal conversation in public. I noticed it years ago in Europe, and now I can’t stand it in the US," another user added.

Now there's an unsurprising revelation! Just like our tendency to take up space, Americans seem to have less awareness of those around them when it comes to conversation volume, as well.

14. Occupation matters

"Immediately asking someone what they do for a living when meeting them. Our jobs and work are our entire identity," one person said.

"I hate that about American culture. I'm an American and recently became a SAHM, so I don't have an answer to 'What do you do for a living?' Half the time, I add the caveat, ‘Oh, my last job was with Apple,’ so that I'm not written off as an unemployed ‘loser.’ But it really is dumb to determine a person's worth by what they do in order to afford food and shelter," added another.

There are huge differences in work culture between America and other countries. They're so big and pervasive that they show up not just while we're working, but in the way we interact with others. For example, in Europe it's far less common to be friends with your coworkers. People value the purpose they find in work and the results, but are happy to keep the majority of their life separate from their career.

This article originally appeared last year. It has been updated.

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Humor

13 everyday idioms that make zero sense until you know where they come from

Sweating like a pig? Pigs don't sweat!

Images via Unsplash

Images of idioms.

I've always really liked cliches, idioms, proverbs, and common phrases we like to use over and over. They can get repetitive at times, but they're crucial tools in communication. They allow us to convey so much meaning in so few words—a commonly understood shorthand that can get complex points across quickly.

The only problem is that many of the most popular idioms in common use date back hundreds of years. In that time, they've either become outdated or seen their words adopt new meanings. In some cases the idioms have been shortened or reversed, losing important context. So when someone tells you to "bite the bullet," you may inherently know what they mean—but if you really stop and think about it, you have no idea why it means what it means.

If you're a word nerd like me, you'll be absolutely fascinated by the origin and evolution of some of these common idioms, and how they came to mean what they mean today.

1. Sick as a dog / Working like a dog

gif, dog, working, idioms, funny, sickDog hard at workGiphy

Ever have a cold and tell someone you're "sicker than a dog?" Kind of rude to dogs, in my opinion, and a little strange. I've had dogs my whole life and can't remember any of them coming down with the flu.

Sick as a dog actually originates hundreds of years ago, if not longer. Some explanations say that in the 1700s, stray dogs were responsible for the spread of many diseases, along with rats and other gutter critters. There are also references as far back as the Bible to dogs eating their own vomit—sounds pretty sick to me.

What about working like a dog? Dogs are the laziest creatures around! For this one you have to remember that dogs as "pleasure pets" is a relatively recent phenomenon. Before that they had to earn their keep by working tirelessly on the farm to herd and protect the animals.

2. Sweating like a pig

pigs, sweat, sweating like a pig, idioms, originsClose up of pigs.Image via Canva

This is an extremely common idiom that we all use and accept. There's just one problem with it: Pigs don't sweat!

So...what gives? You might be surprised to hear that 'sweating like a pig' actually has nothing to do with farm animals.

According to McGill University: "The term is actually derived from the iron smelting process in which hot iron poured on sand cools and solidifies with the pieces resembling a sow and piglets. Hence 'pig iron.' As the iron cools, the surrounding air reaches its dew point, and beads of moisture form on the surface of the 'pigs.' Thus, 'sweating like a pig' indicates that the 'pig' (i.e. iron) has cooled enough to be safely handled. And that's a 'pig' you wouldn't want to eat."

3. Bite the bullet

idioms, bite the bullet, bullets, guns, ammunitionA person holds a plate of bullets.Image via Canva

Biting the bullet refers to sucking it up and doing something hard, something you don't want to do but is necessary, and accepting the difficult consequences and/or pain that comes with it. But what does that have to do with biting a bullet?

There are different theories on this. One common explanation is that in the olden days it was common for soldiers on the battlefield receiving surgery to bite down on a lead bullet. You've probably seen people in movies biting down on a piece of wood or leather strap. Since lead is a softer metal, it would give just a little bit between their teeth and not damage them. So the idiom 'biting the bullet' means, "Okay, this is going to suck, just bite down and get through it."

4. Healthy as a horse

idioms, horses, healthy as a horse, animals, sayingsA horse making a funny face. Image via Canva

This one has always confused me. As a layman, it seems like horses are prone to injury and have trouble recovering when they hurt themselves. More research shows that horses can not vomit, which means they are highly at risk for deadly colic episodes. Doesn't sound super healthy!

The best explanation I can find for healthy as a horse is that, again, in the olden days, horses were symbols of health and strength and vitality. Which checks out—they're really powerful, majestic creatures.

5. Slept like a baby

idioms, slept like a baby, babies, kids, children, sayingsA baby with glasses sleeping on a moon pillow.Image via Canva

To many parents, this common idiom is rage-inducing. If babies sleep so well, why am I so exhausted all the time?!

Yes, babies are notorious for waking up every few hours or at the first sign of hunger or a dirty diaper. It puts their parents through the wringer (another strange idiom!). But to the outside observer, a sleeping baby is pure bliss. They are so innocent and blissfully unaware of anything going on around them—after all, if they're not sitting in a dirty diaper they really don't have too many other things to worry about. Also, despite all their shenanigans, babies do sleep a lot—around 17 hours a day or so. When you put it that way, the idiom starts to make a little sense.

6. Happy as a clam

idioms, clams, happy as a clam, seafood, sayingsOcean Seafood GIF by Lorraine NamGiphy

Clams are a lot of things. Some people find them delicious, others disgusting. One thing I think we can all agree on is that clams don't seem particularly happy, which makes this idiom a bit of a conundrum.

The truth is that this phrase is actually derived from the full version: "Happy as a clam at high water."

At low water, or low tide, clams are exposed to predators. At high tide, they're safe in deeper water. That's about as happy as mollusk can get!

7. The proof is in the pudding

pudding, idioms, proof, sayings, originsChocolate pudding.Image via Canva.

Hey, we all love pudding. But what the heck does this mean? If you're not familiar, it refers to judging something based on the results it generates—but what that has to do with pudding is a bit of a mystery to most people.

This is another example of a shortened idiom that makes more sense when you read the full, original line: "The proof of the pudding is in the eating."

According to Dictionary.com it "originated as a reference to the fact that it was difficult to judge if the pudding was properly cooked until it was actually being eaten. In other words, the test of whether it’s done is taking a bite."

8. Don't look a gift horse in the mouth

horse, smiling, gift horse, origin, idiomSmiling horse.Giphy

I've always been a big fan of this idiom, which basically means that it's rude to over-analyze or criticize something you got for free, especially when it was a nice gesture from a friend or loved one.

But here we go with horses again! This phrase likely originated from the fact that you can determine a horse's age and health by looking at its teeth. So if someone were to give you a horse as a gift, it would be rude to immediately try to see how "good" it was by looking in its mouth.

9. Clean as a whistle

idioms, clean as a whistle, kids, sayings, whistlesA young boy blows a whistle.Image via Canva

Whistles are objectively disgusting. They collect spit and germs every time they're used. I certainly wouldn't hold them up as a beacon of cleanliness.

So what gives with this idiom? There are several possible explanations that have been proposed.

First, a whistle won't work, or won't work very well, if it has debris blocking up its inside. So you can think of "clean" in this case as being "empty or free of clutter." Another possibility is that, in this idiom, clean refers to sharpness—as in the sharp sound a whistle makes—and that inference has been lost over time.

10. Pull yourself up by your bootstraps

idioms, pull yourself up by your bootstraps, sayings, valuesTwo women laugh looking at a laptop screenImage via Canva

This phrase is commonly used to describe someone who was "self-made" and built themselves up into a success from nothing. Imagine lying on the floor and hoisting yourself to your feet using only the straps on your boots.

The only problem is...that's impossible! And that's exactly the point. This idiom is actually meant to be sarcastic and to imply that "socioeconomic advancement...was an impossible accomplishment," according to Useless Etymology.

11. Have your cake and eat it too

cartoon, cake, slice, chocolate cake, idioms, originSlice of cake.Giphy

Why bother having a cake if you can't eat it? That's the mystery of this extremely common idiom or proverb (sometimes worded "you can't have your cake and eat it, too")

The explanation is actually really simple. "Have" in this case really means "keep" or "hold onto." So, in that case, it makes perfect sense that you can't eat your cake and also still have it. "You can't have it both ways," would be another way of saying it. This saying likely began in a letter from Thomas, Duke of Norfolk to Thomas Cromwell in 1538. Thomas wrote,

"A man can not have his cake and eat his cake."

The quote appeared again in 1546 in A Dialogue Conteinyng the Nomber in Effect of All the Prouerbes in the Englishe Tongue, a book of proverbs by John Heywood:

"Wolde you bothe eate your cake, and have your cake?"

12. Head over heels

tears for fears, head over heels, sayings, idiomstears for fears 80s GIFGiphy

Very rarely do people describe being deeply in love without using this phrase. But it's a confusing one, because isn't your head always over your heels? That doesn't seem to be an extraordinary state of being.

The idiom here has actually been flipped over time for unknown reasons. According to Dictionary.com, the saying originally went "heels over head," implying upside down. The saying originated in the 1300s, took its "present form" in the 1700s, and took its present meaning in the 1800s.

13. Pushing the envelope

idioms, pushing the envelope, exercise, gyms, workouts, sayingsTwo women at a gym push an oversized envelope.Images via Canva

When I think of radical, risky, or pushing the limits of what's possible, sliding an envelope across a table just somehow doesn't quite capture it for me. But an envelope doesn't have to be just a paper container that you put other paper in. It can actually refer to different parts and practices of an aircraft.

"Push the envelope comes from aeronautics, where it refers to a set of performance limits that may not be safely exceeded," according to Merriam Webster. Now that's more like it!

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Joy

An errant pitch hit a Little League player in the head. His response was peak sportsmanship.

An unforgettable moment.

Photo credit: Canva

A viral video from a Little League game has people celebrating good sportsmanship.

Youth sports have gotten more intensely competitive, to the point where overeager parents and coaches have to regularly be reminded to take it down a notch. So when humanity takes precedence over team rivalries, it's extra heartwarming.

And considering how many "kids these days" laments we see coming from older generations, it's also heartening to see kids showing excellent character qualities when no one directly asked them to.

baseball, kids, sports, sportsmanshipPart of playing sports is learning to be a good sport. Photo credit: Canva

A viral video from a Little League baseball game is giving us a nice dose of both—good sportsmanship and basic human kindness from two players from opposing teams.

As reported by USA Today, Isaiah (Zay) Jarvis, a batter from Oklahoma, took a pitch from Texas East pitcher Kaiden Shelton right to the side of his helmet. It was a hard blow that caused Jarvis to spin around and crumble to the ground, grabbing his head. The replay in slow motion shows that the ball basically just knocked his helmet off, though it was undoubtedly jarring and probably painful as well.

Jarvis was able to continue playing, but Shelton was shaken up. No matter how fierce the competition, no one wants to be responsible for injuring another person. He was visibly upset on the mound, so Jarvis left first base and approached him.

Watch the classy interchange:

That a kid this age would approach a player who hit him with a ball and comfort him with a hug, especially knowing that all eyes were on him, is just so lovely. Someone raised this young man to put people's feelings ahead of competitiveness and not worry about what others might think.

And the fact that the pitcher was so distraught at the possibility of having hurt someone is also so sweet. This was a moment that showed the true character of both of these boys, and both of them exemplified caring and compassion.

People praised the boys' empathy and humanity.

"Both of those boys are what you want your kids to aspire to," wrote one commenter. "One willing to forgive and knows it wasn't intentional and the other showing remorse and sorrow. I love it!!"

Thankfully, these kids aren't some one-off anomaly. We see examples of kindness and empathy all the time in sports. Despite how fierce competition can get, enjoyment of the game and the self-improvement on all levels that comes with playing is what it's all about, and many coaches and parents strive to make sure that their kids are learning all of those lessons.

This video demonstrates even more than simple respect for an opponent. It shows that this kid recognized his opponents humanity first and foremost. He didn't just say, "It's no problem." He recognized that the pitcher had feelings of his own and wanted to make sure he was okay. That's a whole other level of sportsmanship to strive for, one that takes nothing away from strong competition and doing your best to win.

sportsmanship, athletes hug, kindnessSportsmanship is what it's all about.Giphy GIF by Major League Soccer

Many adults could even learn from the emotionally intelligent and empathetic interaction of these two kids. Good sportsmanship all around. Love to see it. Big kudos to these kiddos and whoever raised them.

This article originally appeared three years ago.



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People discuss brutally honest reasons why so many Boomer grandparents seem to be hands-off

"They were also pretty hands off as parents, too."

Image via Canva

People offer their theories on why Boomer grandparents are more absent.

Boomer grandparents have recently come under fire by their Millennial children for how they grandparent. Many Millennials have opened up online about their parents' less-than-stellar help with grandkids and their overall absence.

In a Reddit forum discussing the differences between generations, user @No_Language_423 posed the question: "Why are so many Boomer grandparents hands-off?" They went on to add, "Genuinely curious about this. Why is it that so many Boomer grandparents seem completely uninterested in being involved or helping out with their grandkids in a real, consistent way?"

In a further explanation, they added, "From what I’ve seen and heard, a lot of Boomers actually did have active, supportive parents when they were raising their own kids. Their moms would babysit, cook, or even move nearby to help out. But now, when Millennials become parents and hope for that same kind of support, it’s like even asking is seen as too much. Some even act insulted by the idea."

old couple, grandparents, grandma, grandpa, older coupleup s GIFGiphy

However, they also noted this description of Boomer grandparents can't be generalized. They added, "Of course, there are outliers. I’m not talking about the people who comment, 'Well I help my kids all the time.' That’s great, but I’m noticing a pattern, not isolated cases. There seems to be a broader generational vibe around this. It doesn’t feel like a case-by-case thing, it feels like a shift in attitude."

They ended their post with more pondering thoughts. "At the same time, I hear a lot of Millennial parents saying they already plan to be very involved grandparents someday. So what changed? Is it a cultural shift? A difference in how retirement is viewed? Or maybe Boomers didn’t get as much help as we assume? Curious to hear what others think, especially from people who’ve experienced this dynamic firsthand."

Many people chimed in with their thoughts and firsthand experience as to why Boomer grandparents seem to be hands-off. These are 15 of the most compelling responses.

boomer, boomers, boomer grandparents, grandparents, boomer grandkidsOld Lady Reaction GIFGiphy

"The parents of boomers didn’t call their kids boomers; they called them the ME generation. Because it was all about them. They’re the ME generation." —@BEniceBAGECKA

"They were also pretty hands off as parents, too."—@ azulsonador0309

"Their moms were 23 when they had kids. Their kids were 23 when they had kids. Grandma was 46. Today’s grandmas are in their sixties. They have a hard time getting through the day without their own naps." —@Ok_Membership7264

"My theory is that it's related to people having kids later in life. The grandparents are older on average." —@nineoctopii

retire, retirement, boomer, boomers, boomer grandparentSeason 7 Showtime GIF by DexterGiphy

"It's because they had children because 'that's what's done,' not because they actually wanted them. Now that they're 'free,' they aren't going to give that up for anything. Notice how they are also distant with their own kids. It's not like they're interested in their kids, but not the grandkids. They want nothing to do with any of it." —@ExcellentCold7354

"I'm 56. Most 56 year olds these days still have full time jobs and other responsibilities to where babysitting and moving are not viable options." —@shammy_dammy

"Have you met Gen X? They were feral kids for a reason. The boomers could barely be bothered to raise their own children. They certainly aren't going to be stepping up for the grandkids." —@gwenkane404

anxious parent, millennial parent, high maintenance parenting, parent, millennial parentsMy Baby No GIF by CBeebies HQGiphy

"Millennials have also changed. Every time I offer to help, I get a scroll of instructions, gluten-free snacks, feelings charts, and nap negotiations that last longer than peace talks. Any small deviation is treated like trauma. It’s exhausting." —@Revolutionary-Buy655

"I'm a millennial with Boomer parents. My parents were pretty hands off when I was a child, so it's not surprising they were hands-off with their grandchildren. My parents dropped me off with my grandparents for weekends so frequently that I had my own bedroom there. I plan to be an involved grandparent because I value the relationship I had with my own grandparents so much. I feel sorry for the Boomers. They don't realize how much they are missing out on by focusing on themselves." —@CandidateNo2731

"They were sold the idea of retirement their entire lives. And now they feel entitled to that instead of adjusting with the times. They’re loss, historically." —@rollbackprices

parents, parenting, frustrated parents, annoyed parents, boomer parentsseason 7 kids GIFGiphy

"I think part of the answer is because a lot of them didn’t really want to have kids in the first place. But back then it’s just what you did. You got married at 20 and started popping out babies shortly after. If you didn’t, you were an abomination to the family." —@Screamcheese99

"We are older than the previous generation's grandparents. Believe it. Being 60+ and trying to care for toddlers is hard! Also, despite our experience and knowledge, we are often given ridiculous instructions and rules to follow by our own children, along with lists of likes/dislikes to adhere to. They expect entertainment in ways we are just not able to provide. Personal example from my attempt at babysitting my grandchild: I literally have not moved the car seat, that she installed, even an inch, but my DIL huffs, sighs, makes comments when getting her out of it. I am nice enough to drive her to her job to shorten their commute home, but I even do that wrong. So, forget it. I tried." —@TXteachr2018

"I think its because we live so far away from each other." —@Apprehensive_Pie_105

worlds apart, far away, long distance, live far apart, distantcould not be more different long distance GIF by Jay SprogellGiphy

"Hmm. I feel like the sense of community is gone. Starting with the Boomers in my family they emigrated to the US and scattered away from each other. States away from each other they had no support system and worked themselves ragged. There wasn’t really a village to help raise a child. Now that they are retired it’s like having a second chance at life and they don’t want to spend it watching kids. They want to pursue their hobbies and relax which I honestly don’t blame them." —@KorraNHaru

"Many Boomers (not all! so don't come for me lol) have deep, untreated trauma and mental health issues. Many are even very detached from their own existences at this point. Narcissistic traits are common among them, which is based in deep self-loathing. I think deep down a lot of them feel ashamed of how they raised their kids and don't want to mess up their grandkids as well." —@Arysta

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