Viral song hilariously imagines naming other things the way we named 'pineapple'
A clever, catchy and slightly chaotic take on the English language.

Would you like to slice some hotdoglemons into your morninggravel?
The way words get added to a language is an endlessly fascinating topic. Most English root words originate from Latin and Greek, but we also excel at borrowing from languages around the world.
Some of our words are just weird, though. For instance, "pineapple." Rather than calling the delicious yellow fruit with pokey leaves "ananas" like most of the world, our ancestors apparently took a look at one and decided, "Eh, kinda looks like a pinecone. But it's clearly a fruit. How about we call it a 'pineapple'?"
A video creator who goes by @thejazzemu made a hilarious song exploring what would happen if we named other words the way we named "pineapple"—by combining two words with "minimal conceptual link"—and it's a silly feast of musical and etymological brilliance.
Take the word "curtain" and change it into "windowwink." So much more fun and descriptive. What about calling a banana a "hotdoglemon" instead? Utterly delightful.
Watch how the Jazz Emu pineapple-izes several English words in a clever, catchy and chaotically over-the-top song:
@thejazzemu The most OFFENSIVE word in the English Language? #offense #word #language #cancelculture #pineapple #linguistics #fyp #foryou #help
People have tuned in millions of times to view the video, and the comments on YouTube explain why.
"Morninggravel almost made me spit out my morninggravel," wrote Steve.
"This is my favorite sound-dance. When I'm on the poop-throne, in the rain-box, or at my money-slaver, I enjoy listening to it. Gets the meat-paddle-tips tapping," wrote Joshua Shupe.
"'When every other language said ananas English panicked and mentally combined the concept of a pine cone with frikkin’ apple' is a structurally-delicious sentence," shared Ashanna Redwolf.
"Damn....why is this song so catchy? Also, why am I so entranced by this 'dance' that goes along with it?" wrote ChrisJMP88.
Seriously, though. We need a full-length version on Spotify, please.
Believe it or not, the actual history of the word "pineapple" is even weirder than what is relayed here. According to Merriam-Webster, the seeded part of a pine tree that we now refer to as a pinecone actually used to be called a "pineapple." Yes, really. So the word pineapple actually predates pinecone—it just happened to stick to the fruit.
Why would a pinecone be called a pineapple in the first place? Merriam-Webster explains that the practice of calling any foreign fruit, vegetable or nut an "apple" stems from ancient times. For example, a peach was first known as a "Persian apple," and a pomegranate's initial name meant "an apple with many seeds." So even though a pinecone wasn't technically a fruit, it was still referred to as a "pineapple"…that is until it became a pinecone and the fruit forever claimed "pineapple" for itself.
Words are just so wacky. I vote that we just call things whatever we want and let people figure out what we mean.
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A Generation Jones teenager poses in her room.Image via Wikmedia Commons
An office kitchen.via
An angry man eating spaghetti.via 



An Irish woman went to the doctor for a routine eye exam. She left with bright neon green eyes.
It's not easy seeing green.
Did she get superpowers?
Going to the eye doctor can be a hassle and a pain. It's not just the routine issues and inconveniences that come along when making a doctor appointment, but sometimes the various devices being used to check your eyes' health feel invasive and uncomfortable. But at least at the end of the appointment, most of us don't look like we're turning into The Incredible Hulk. That wasn't the case for one Irish woman.
Photographer Margerita B. Wargola was just going in for a routine eye exam at the hospital but ended up leaving with her eyes a shocking, bright neon green.
At the doctor's office, the nurse practitioner was prepping Wargola for a test with a machine that Wargola had experienced before. Before the test started, Wargola presumed the nurse had dropped some saline into her eyes, as they were feeling dry. After she blinked, everything went yellow.
Wargola and the nurse initially panicked. Neither knew what was going on as Wargola suddenly had yellow vision and radioactive-looking green eyes. After the initial shock, both realized the issue: the nurse forgot to ask Wargola to remove her contact lenses before putting contrast drops in her eyes for the exam. Wargola and the nurse quickly removed the lenses from her eyes and washed them thoroughly with saline. Fortunately, Wargola's eyes were unharmed. Unfortunately, her contacts were permanently stained and she didn't bring a spare pair.
- YouTube youtube.com
Since she has poor vision, Wargola was forced to drive herself home after the eye exam wearing the neon-green contact lenses that make her look like a member of the Green Lantern Corps. She couldn't help but laugh at her predicament and recorded a video explaining it all on social media. Since then, her video has sparked a couple Reddit threads and collected a bunch of comments on Instagram:
“But the REAL question is: do you now have X-Ray vision?”
“You can just say you're a superhero.”
“I would make a few stops on the way home just to freak some people out!”
“I would have lived it up! Grab a coffee, do grocery shopping, walk around a shopping center.”
“This one would pair well with that girl who ate something with turmeric with her invisalign on and walked around Paris smiling at people with seemingly BRIGHT YELLOW TEETH.”
“I would save those for fancy special occasions! WOW!”
“Every time I'd stop I'd turn slowly and stare at the person in the car next to me.”
“Keep them. Tell people what to do. They’ll do your bidding.”
In a follow-up Instagram video, Wargola showed her followers that she was safe at home with normal eyes, showing that the damaged contact lenses were so stained that they turned the saline solution in her contacts case into a bright Gatorade yellow. She wasn't mad at the nurse and, in fact, plans on keeping the lenses to wear on St. Patrick's Day or some other special occasion.
While no harm was done and a good laugh was had, it's still best for doctors, nurses, and patients alike to double-check and ask or tell if contact lenses are being worn before each eye test. If not, there might be more than ultra-green eyes to worry about.