upworthy

comedy

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Michael McIntyre is a popular comedian from the U.K.

One of the struggles people have with learning English as a second language is the number of silent letters our language uses that don't seem to have much rhyme or reason. We are certainly not alone in using letters we don't pronounce, of course—French is famously filled with them, and Danish words apparently make liberal use of them as well. However, there's no question that silent letters can make language learning confusing for non-native speakers (and often for native speakers as well).

British comedian Michael McIntyre did a whole bit demonstrating what English would sound like if silent letters weren't silent. What if we pronounced the "b" in "subtle" or the "h" in "hour" or the "l" in "talk" and "walk"? When we start to pronounce the silent letters, we quickly see how many commonly used words have them, and the effect is both eye-opening and hilarious.

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When you speak a language that uses silent letters, you may not realize that there are languages that don't. For instance, this comment on the video—"As a Finn, I'm relieved to finally hear properly spoken English"— only makes sense when you know that Finnish is a strictly phonetic language, meaning the letters you see spelled out are pronounced the same way consistently. Spanish is pretty consistent with phonetics, especially compared to English, and Italian and Greek are as well.

So why does English utilize so many silent letters? As Merriam-Webster states, "Our language is a glutton, and it has taken words from an enormous number of other languages. Since we have words borrowed from languages that have different sound patterns, this results in English speakers pronouncing the words differently than in their languages of origin."

For instance, the word mnemonic has a silent "m" at the beginning, but it didn't used to be silent. The word came to English from the Greek through Latin, and the "m" actually was pronounced in it even as late as the 1800s. Over time, we just dropped it. The same applies to the silent "p" in words like "psychology" and "psalm." We used to pronounce it, and the French and Germans still do, but we've let the "p" go.

Other words came from Dutch or German with sounds that aren't standard phonetics in English, like the throat-clearing sound the "ch" combo makes in those languages (technically called a velar fricative). Words like yacht and night have that sound in the languages they came from, but since we don't do the fricative thing in English, we just dropped it.

What about the "l" in talk and walk, or would and should? In the former, the "l" affects the sound of the vowel, making it an "ah" sound instead of an "a" sound, as in "tack". In the latter, the "l" used to be pronounced, at least in the 1500s in refined speech, but at some point got dropped.


Interestingly, Merriam-Webster says could appears to be an anomaly among the -oulds, though: "It seems likely that could didn’t have the L in either spelling or pronunciation; notice that its root, can doesn’t have an L whereas shall and will (the roots of should and would) do. The thought is that the L in could was later added by analogy—rightly or wrongly—to make it better match with would and should."

Funny how language works.

How about knife and gnome? Apparently, those were pronounced several hundred years ago, but over time, people just stopped. There's not always a clear logical reason for such changes—sometimes it's just easier, and when enough people do it, a collective shift in pronunciation occurs. The same applies to the "w" in "wrap" and "write." They used to be pronounced, but isn't it just much easier on the lips to not form the "w" first when the sounds just blend together anyway?

silent letters, don't say it, english, language, golden girls There are a lot of letter sounds we don't say in English. Giphy

And yes, we also borrowed from the famously silent-letter-friendly French, as seen in words like receipt, debt, and indict. However, as Merriam-Webster points out, "These words entered English from French in the medieval period, but later scholars recognized their Latin origins and stuck in the missing p, b, and c, just to make the etymological relationship completely explicit. The way we pronounce these words to this day reflects their French heritage (while their spelling reflects their more distant Latin roots)."

One more fun fact: every letter of the alphabet is silent on occasion in the English language.

So there you have it. That's why silent letters abound. English is a mutt language in many ways, which has given us the delightful quirks and inconsistencies that make it a challenge to learn but oh so fun to joke about.

Joy

Annoyed Texas comedian reads his HOA fine notice like it was written by William Faulkner

"They say my trash can lingers too long at the curb, lording like a broke cousin who don't know when to go home."

via Jerry Wayne Longmire (used with permission) and Canva/Photos

Jerry Wayne Longmire holding up a letter form his HOA.

America has a complicated relationship with HOAs, or homeowners’ associations. Eighteen percent of Americans, including 27% of homeowners, live in a community with an HOA; however, most of them don’t like it. Sixty-one percent of Americans say they’d rather live in a community without an HOA, and only 14% would prefer to live in one.

HOAs help people in planned communities maintain shared spaces, keep noise levels down, manage amenities such as swimming pools, and try to keep home values up by ensuring everyone maintains their property. But, to some, this feels like an extra layer of authority on top of the existing levels of government, which feels a bit overbearing.

Jerry Wayne Longmire, a former contractor turned stand-up comedian who lives in East Texas, received a letter from his HOA and pushed back against their authority in the most elegant and uniquely southern way possible. He responded with a social media post, written in the style of southern Gothic writer William Faulkner. Longmire is best known for his series of videos on Truck Astrology and his podcast, The Reckon Yard. He's also an avid reader who has been a lifelong fan of Faulkner's.

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Longmire’s eloquent letter is also hilarious with great lines such as:

“They say my trash can lingers too long at the curb, lording like a broke cousin who don't know when to go home. They call it unsightly, but I reckon a plastic bin scarred by sun and wind is no uglier than the souls who wrote this letter with clipboards for hearts.”

“They say my shutters are the wrong color, turquoise. Though to me, they are a hymn to the gulf where the water once baptized my boyhood. They demand beige, the color of cowardice.”

Longmire also had the Internet in stitches with a video where he responds to a nearly $700 electric bill like Faulkner. This time, unlike the HOA video, he puts the blame squarely on himself for tempting the gods to sleep in comfort in August.

@jerrywaynelongmire

Electric bill in the south #comedy #faulkner #electricbill #heat #airconditioning #texas #electricitybill #electricity

“Now I recall a time not too long ago, when a man could just sleep with just a fan on. Box fan in the window, sheets damp with his own resolve. But then came August. August, that devil and cargo shorts. She comes with air so thick you can taste the mosquitoes before they bite you. And I, a weak and weary creature, I touched the thermostat, dropped her down to 71. The sin of comfort,” Langmire says with dead seriousness. “Now I'm shackled, betrayed, and bound by wattage and poor choices. And yet I will do it again, for I have known the chill and I will not go back.”

Longmire does a great job at pointing out the rubs of modern life in America. We want quiet streets and some modicum of order, but really resent it when the judging eye of the HOA lands on property. We also want to sleep in comfort, but have to deal with the fact that electricity bills are only going up. You can’t beat the electric company or the HOA, but as long as guys like Longmire are around, at least we can have a good laugh about them.

Macaulay Culkin and John Candy in 'Uncle Buck'

Comedy legend John Candy was honored in the emotional new documentary John Candy: I Like Me, which premiered at the Toronto International Film Festival on Thursday.

In it, a slew of famous folks that once shared the screen with Candy—including Dan Aykroyd, Tom Hanks, Macaulay Culkin, Martin Short, Steve Martin, Catherine O’Hara, and Andrea Martin—shared touching memories that further solidify the late actor as not only a once-in-a-generation talent, but a truly good human being as well.

One standout story comes from Culkin, who recalled Candy having a “paternal” instinct for the former child actor while working together on John Hughes’ Uncle Buck in 1989—especially when it came to protecting Culkin from his estranged father, Christopher "Kit" Culkin.

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"I think [Candy] always had that really great instinct. I think he saw. Listen, even before the wave crested and the Home Alone stuff was happening, it was not hard to see how difficult my father was. It was no secret. He was already a monster," Culkin said in the documentary, as reported by People.

"All of a sudden, the fame and the money came, and he became an infamous monster," Culkin said. "He was already not a good guy. I think John was looking a little side-eyed, like, 'Is everything alright over there? You doing good? Good day? Everything's alright? Everything good at home? Alright.'"

Culkin commended that behavior as "a testament to the kind of man he was," noting that “it doesn't happen that often. It actually happened less as time went on.”

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"I wish I got more of that in my life. It's important that I remember that," Culkin said. "I remember John caring when not a lot of people did.”

Culkin also recalled that Candy displayed a lot of respect for the former child star and his on-screen sister, Gaby Hoffmann.

“When you're eight years old, you don't really get respect, whether it's in a workplace or just from adults and grown-ups in general. You felt invited in [by Candy]," he shared.

While Uncle Buck didn’t go on to achieve great critical acclaim, Candy's portrayal of the titular character is beloved by fans and is often celebrated for its comedic and heartwarming elements—helping turn him into a bona fide star of the 80s.

Colin Hanks, who created the documentary, met Candy as a kid. In 1984, his father, Tom Hanks, starred with Candy in the romantic comedy Splash. Similar to Culkin, Colin recalled Candy having a special way with kids.

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“He just really made you feel unique,” he told People. “He made you feel heard and that's a special thing for a little kid to feel like you actually matter and your opinion matters.”

John Candy: I Like Me debuts Friday, Oct. 10 on Prime Video.

Williams was great at everything he did.

We all know and love the late, great Robin Williams for his work in movies, television shows, Saturday Night Live, and standup. But let’s not forget he also has a slew of commercials under his belt as well. The talented Williams delighted in everything he did because, honestly, what medium wouldn’t benefit from his signature charm and humor?

With such a long and illustrious career, fans may be happy to know that there's still new (to us!) William's content to find and enjoy. The evidence? Even the biggest Robin Williams fans might be surprised to find this recently unearthed commercial he did for the Illinois Bell phone company (later known as AT&T) back in 1977.

In the clip, where Williams unsurprisingly plays a mischievous husband making voices while his wife shops around for the perfect landline phone, we see a delightful foreshadowing of his alien character Mork from the sitcom Mork & Mindy—it certainly helps that the woman playing his wife resembles Pam Dawber, who played Mindy in the show. (Not to mention the fact that he says "people of Earth” with that perfect alien voice.)

Watch:

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Of course, it wasn’t just nostalgia for Williams that people felt while watching this video, but also wistfulness for a bygone era, a simpler time when something like a landline was even a thing. Here’s a small smattering of comments from YouTube:

“You bought a phone and it sat on a desk or hung on the wall for decades and did its job, no updates, no 'starting it up', it was always on and always worked.”

“Miss the days when you could slam the phone.”

“The most surprising thing is that they repaired the broken phones rather than simply throwing them out and giving you a new one.”

“Oh, the times when we could make ourselves unavailable.”

obin williams, commercial, 1970s, nostalgia, actor, legend Robin Williams says Wazzup? Giphy

“I remember having to go to the phone company. All the different color phones on display.”

“Our yellow kitchen wall phone had a cord like 12 ft long. It got knotted and tangled once and just stayed that way forever.”

“I remember being so excited about the new "pushbuttons" instead of the rotary dial.”

And last but not least, “I want to live in this time period.”

While we have two things to miss because of this video, it also, as one view put it, gave us “something to smile about,” and that’s never a bad thing.

If you're wanting more of Williams and his special brand of humor, you're in luck. Thanks to the Internet, we have a few more archived Robin William commercials at our disposal, arguably more chaotic than the one for Illinois Bell.

Here's one for the popular game, Legend of Zelda:

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And another for Snickers, because who portrays the unhinged quite like Williams?

The man just simply had a talent that hasn't been matched since.

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Especially this rather notorious one, in which Williams drives director Howard Storm insane with his shotgun style improv skills.

Still, you can't argue with the final product.

Williams’ comedic genius continues to be something we marvel at, and its inexplicable blend of zaniness, tragedy, and existentialism will always be a mystery we can never fully solve. That’s part of what made it so magical, and why we can watch even one of his most seemingly insignificant works and still be mesmerized. He was one of the greats, no doubt about it.

This article originally appeared in February. It has been updated.