upworthy
Add Upworthy to your Google News feed.
Google News Button
Modern Families

Grandma gives 'one reason' grandparents are pulling away. Parents say it's not that simple.

"There's bad grandparents and there's bad parents."

grandparents, boomers, boomer grandparents, parenting, dads, moms, kids, family, conflict

Parenting coach and grandma says unruly kids, enabled by parents, are fracturing families.

Being a parent isn't easy. Being a grandparent isn't easy. Apparently, one of the hardest jobs of all is each of them trying to get along with the other in a modern family. Conflict between parents and grandparents is nothing new, but it certainly feels like Millennials and Boomers are having an extremely hard time seeing eye to eye in many families.

Parenting coach and grandmother Jane Farano has a theory about why many grandparents are pulling away and engaging less with their grandkids. She says it comes down to "one reason."

"Anyone noticing this trend of the younger generation wanting nothing to do with grandparents?" Farano asks in a recent social media video.

She says grandparents reach out to her all the time and say that they're in pain. They don't feel close to their grandchildren or valued in their families.

"I’m seeing more and more grandparents who don’t want to spend time with their grandkids. Yes, there are many reasons for that—distance, health, family tension—but sometimes it’s deeper. Sometimes, it’s because the behavior of the grandchildren has become unbearable. And that’s not judgment—it’s exhaustion," she writes in the caption on Instagram.

"I'll be up front with you," Farano continues, narrating the video. "Parents, are you raising your kids in a way that their behavior is so bad that your grandparents are struggling to want to be around them?"

Those are strong words. But Farano's goal isn't necessarily to shame, rather it's to help families work through the issues that may be keeping them from a better, more loving connection—even if her message comes off a little harsh.

Farano's video caused a major stir, piling up over two million views on Facebook and nearly three million on Instagram. Her words, quite clearly, struck a nerve with both parents and grandparents alike.

Many viewers actually agreed with Farano's controversial observations, pointing to "gentle parenting" and helicopter parenting approaches, along with plentiful screen time, that they claim create anxious and rude kids. It's not just grandparents who see it that way, either. Teachers are quitting the profession in droves and worsening student behavior is one of the leading causes, and it's been documented that kids today have more trouble regulating their emotions and behaviors.

"My dad and his wife struggle to see my brothers kids because his wife has so many rules for them to even see the kids, and she has to be there, and they walk on eggshells with her," one Instagram commenter noted.

"The old fashioned stuff worked now we have a bunch of disrespectful kids that don’t want to be told to do anything," another added.

A grandmother on Facebook, Aleisha Knowles, shared her own heartbreaking story of struggling to connect with her granddaughter: "When I pick her up from her mom, my granddaughter (7) always acts like she doesn’t like me at all. It ... takes several hours for her to not be sassy or rude, but once we get to my house she remembers what is expected of her (show respect, please and thank you, etc.) then we have a great time with so much love. ... [But] when I drop her off, she is back to acting like she doesn’t like me or I annoy her. I don’t get my feelings hurt anymore and I’ve learned to get my hug and say goodbye before we leave for our drive back to her mom. I struggled with it the last few years thinking that she really doesn’t like to be around me, but I just follow her lead and know what to expect. But it can be hard on this Granny’s heart."

grandparents, boomers, boomer grandparents, parenting, dads, moms, kids, family, conflict Grandparents say kid's behavior is getting worse. Photo by Danie Franco on Unsplash

Many grandparents echoed the same sentiment: Kids who are aloof, distracted by phones, rude, or disinterested in spending time together make it difficult for them to get more involved. However, one big and obvious question looms: Isn't this just what kids have always been like?

Many of the current generation of parents, especially the Gen Xers, were famously known as "latchkey kids." Their parents spent little time with them and they were often left to fend for themselves. There are jokes, memes, and reenactments galore of young Gen X kids coming home from school to an empty house with instructions to make themselves dinner and do some chores.

So, maybe the current crop of Boomer grandparents has unrealistic expectations of what it's really like to try to spend time with a hormonal, immature, unpredictable kid.

"This generation of grandparents dropped their kids off at their parents house so they didn’t have to deal with their children- they just don’t like children," one commenter wrote.

"It often feels like the boomer generation struggles to see the good we're trying to do for our kids and the cycles we're trying to break. Admitting fault isn't easy, but knowing better should lead to doing better. Unfortunately, that self-reflection can be tough when everything feels personal," said another.

It's also worth noting that about one in five American children are neurodivergent, which frequently comes with a host of minor and major behavior problems. Parents today are armed with far better diagnostics and way more information and training on how to manage a kid with special needs. It's safe to say that a lot of grandparents were never taught how to handle children with autism, ADHD, OCD, and more—and some are even skeptical of the diagnoses themselves.

grandparents, boomers, boomer grandparents, parenting, dads, moms, kids, family, conflict Despite the narratives, there are a lot of grandparents out there that have healthy, loving relationships with the grandkids. Photo by Isaac Quesada on Unsplash

Farano's post, however, also brought out many beautiful stories of families that have managed to navigate these conflicts and make it all work. Grandparents who step in to care for children while the parents work, and who are included and honored and valued for their wisdom and help. That's the goal we're all working toward.

Many families can get there with better communication. Niloufar Esmaeilpour, a Registered Clinical Counsellor and Founder at Lotus Therapy & Counselling Centre recommends a family meeting where "each person has a turn to speak without interruption. Grandparents can inform everyone about what behaviors they find hurtful or frustrating, and parents can explain the reasoning behind modern disciplinary methods or rules within the home."

It may not solve everything, but when these frustrations are kept unsaid, all parties get resentful and that's really when the family units begin to fracture.

party, chatting, likable, drinks small talk, men and women

A woman speaking with two men at a party.

When we think of someone likable, we often imagine a person with a big personality who's the life of the party. We conjure up images of social butterflies and people who keep everyone at the dinner party glued to their every word when they tell a story. The funny thing is, according to research, that's not really the case.

Studies show that the easiest way to make someone like you is to show interest by asking questions during the conversation and making it clear that you like them. People also really love those who come off as genuine.


Michael Gendler, a co-founder of Ultraspeaking, a platform that helps people master the art of public speaking, recently shared three "magic" phrases that make you more likable, all of which align with what science tells us.

Three phrases that make you more likable

Phrase 1: "Here's what really scares me..."

This phrase resonates with people because it shows you're genuine by admitting your vulnerability. "Man, talk about your feats, real fears, not like 'Oh, I'm scared I'm going to be too successful.' Tell us about something that actually scares you. Don't be guarded. Be open, and other people will appreciate that," Gendler says.

Phrase 2: "You know what I really like about you?"

This phrase makes people like you because it counters a psychological phenomenon known as signal amplification bias, which suggests we tend to overestimate how clearly we express our feelings to others. This means that, many times, when we think others know we like them, they may not be so sure. So a little assurance goes a long way toward showing them the feeling is mutual. "People love being complimented as long as it is genuine," Gendler says.


Phrase 3: "Tell me more"

As Dale Carnegie wrote in How to Make Friends and Influence People, the key to interacting with others is focusing on being interested in them rather than trying to impress them by being interesting. "Be interested, not interesting," Carnegie writes.

A Harvard study supports this, showing that when you first start speaking with someone, you should follow your first question with two more. People who do this are rated as much more likable than those who, after one question, shift the conversation to themselves. "People love feeling like what they're saying is interesting. So invite them to speak more," Gendler continues.


Don't forget to be genuine

Ultraspeaking's post is a breath of fresh air for those who aren't comfortable trying to impress others at parties, on dates, or in the office. The video shows that if you make people feel important, they're much more likely to like you in return. The key is that it has to come from the heart.

"Remember, don't just use these phrases and expect them to work," Gendler says. "They have to be genuine and open. That's what makes people likable."

idioms, catchphrases, buzzwords, english language, english, office, workplace, corporate culture

Business idioms that you can totally use in your real workplace.

It seems that the higher up you ascend in your career, the more you grow to love a good business catchphrase, buzzword, or idiom. Working in an office will have you saying things like "let's kick this off," "let's circle back on this," and "let's not boil the ocean here" in no time.

Idioms, while they can get annoying when overused (especially in the workplace), do serve a helpful purpose. They're a sort of fun shorthand, conveying a lot of meaning in a few words. While idioms act as analogies or metaphors that give more context to a situation, they also come with a lot of history: when you hear one, you remember all the times you've heard it before or even used it yourself. It instantly contextualizes what's going on and quickly helps us understand what someone may be communicating.


However, run-of-the-mill workplace idioms have gotten a little stale, to the point that many of them have become meaningless cliches. We could all use some new ones, and luckily, folks on social media are chiming in with some ridiculous creations of their own.

It all started when an X user named Tomie shared what would go on to become a hugely viral post: "I've started saying nonsense phrases at work like 'that's neither cheese nor cheddar' just to see my coworkers nod seriously like they understand."

Tomie added in another post, "Like woah there, pause the pineapples."

The post received nearly 2 million views and hundreds of comments on X. Soon, it made its way to the professional crowd on LinkedIn, where people began building on Tomie's original suggestions.

Daniel Berk added a few of his own:

"Let's not microwave the lasagna on this one."

"We might be polishing the doorknob instead of opening the door."

"This feels like we're alphabetizing water."

"Let's not put racing stripes on a parked car."

"That's a lot of garnish for no entrée."

"We're measuring the shadow, not the object."


Noah Latner chimed in with:

"Let's not settle in before we buy the house."

"That lollipop isn't worth the lick."

"You've got to put the patty on the grill before it sizzles."

"This banana's got no peel to it."

"Don't juice a pickle and tell me it's matcha."

Sally Thomas writes, "One of my finest achievements was in a previous company where the manager was full of buzzwords. I got him to adopt 'It depends how you fold your napkin' as a favourite saying."

Jennifer Connelly suggested: "Let's sauce these nugs later!"

Cameron Gibbons said, "I'm not sure where it started, but one exec at Google said 'let's double click into that' and it spread like wildfire through the org."

idioms, catchphrases, buzzwords, english language, english, office, workplace, corporate culture "That banana's got no peel to it." Giphy

Liora Kern cooked up a few idioms that paid homage to different languages and cultures:

"Dutch version:
1. That's a lot of hagelslag on a very thin slice of bread.
2. It's a three bicycles beat one car type of thing.

Belgian version:
1. We're agreeing on the fries because agreeing on the sauces is harder.
2. We're arguing over the glass instead of the beer."

idioms, catchphrases, buzzwords, english language, english, office, workplace, corporate culture "We’re arguing over the glass instead of the beer." Photo by engin akyurt on Unsplash

Here are a few more from the creative minds on X:

"The last nail is the rustiest one."

"Two claps and the goat's up the hill"

"Let's toss this idea into the piranha bin."

"I'm pulling the porcupine here."

"This is all bags and boxes."

"The proof is in the parmesan."

"There's a rock behind every bush."

"There's more to being a dog than sleeping under the porch."

The funniest part about these made-up, nonsense idioms is that they kind of make sense.

Some of the idioms brainstormed by random commenters are variations of existing catchphrases, or combinations of multiple different ones ("It's not exactly rocket surgery."). But many are complete gibberish, and yet our brains still seek out and manage to find some semblance of meaning in them.

YouTube English teacher Aly says that "corporate English" is like its own language. Speaking the secret code with confidence, and pretending to understand it even when you don't, are key to success. In fact, one recent study found that more than half of employees regularly "pretend" to be working. So if you've ever felt self-conscious because you were in over your head at work or didn't know what the higher-ups were talking about, rest assured there's a good chance they were faking it, too.

- YouTube www.youtube.com

One commenter on Tomie's original post summed it up perfectly: "Office culture accepts nonsense when said confidently and calmly."

Another added, "The only way to survive corporate America is to understand its 90% make believe."

Delivering a totally made-up, nonsense business idiom with full confidence is one sure way to make people perk up and take notice of how brilliant you are.

senior citizen, elderly, karaoke, music, Barry Manilow, singing
Photo Credit: Canva

An elderly man sings karaoke. Barry Manilow poses for a headshot.

Sometimes, people just want to sing. They imagine themselves belting out their favorite tunes to whomever will listen. But for many, anxiety overtakes their fantasy. The thought of messing up or sounding bad is just too terrifying, and they end up keeping their songs to themselves.

Luckily for a 79-year-old man named Colin in Barnsley in the UK, the opportunity to turn this fantasy into a reality presented itself. Singer/songwriter Ruth Lisgo had begun recording karaoke on the street, occasionally handing out a microphone to those who wanted to join in on harmonizing or singing a verse or two.


Colin first went viral after singing "Words" by the Bee Gees. Lisgo states on an Instagram post that "over one million have now viewed that video."

@ruthlisgomusic

Replying to @Sir Nick the Naughty I absolutely agree Nick. So often when I’m busking I come across people who have so many stories to tell and often in life it just takes a few minutes to really make a difference with someone by listening ❤️ 🙏 Colin has many stories I’m sure #words #beegees #busking #takethetime

Well, Colin has returned a few times, most recently to belt out "Mandy" by Barry Manilow. An added bonus is that he dedicated his rendition to none other than his dental hygienist.

In a chyron over the clip, Lisgo explains, "This man asked if he could sing on my mic. He told me he only sang karaoke at home when he was younger, but always loved singing and music. But he was afraid of forgetting words and being on a stage. He came back today to sing this for his dental hygienist who had seen the video of him singing 'Words' by the Bee Gees, and she requested him to sing this ahead of her going to a Barry Manilow concert in 2026."

Clad in a warm coat and beanie, Colin grasps the microphone. His hands seem to shiver in the cold, but what comes out of his voice is pure warmth and perfection. He begins, "I'm standing on the edge of time. I've walked away when love was mine." For a moment, he blanks on the following lyric, "Caught up in a world of uphill climbing, the tears are in my mind and nothing is rhyming." But Lisgo steps in to help him find his way.

Now for the chorus and a key change: "Oh Mandy! Well, you came and you gave without taking, but I sent you away. Oh Mandy! Well, you kissed me and stopped me from shaking. And I need you today. Oh Mandy!"

The clip jump cuts to both Colin and Lisgo caught up in the moment. You can clearly feel the pride, smiles, and applause as Lisgo flips the camera to reveal a small crowd has formed. Lisgo asks commenters under her Instagram post to please share where they live so Colin can feel love from all over the world.

Over 5,500 people (and counting) did just that. Chiming in from Canada to Turkey to Finland to Sweden, compliments poured in by the hour. "Wonderful moment for him and for us," one Instagrammer writes.

Another addresses their comment directly to Lisgo, praising her for bringing so much joy. "I don't know you, but I actually watched your reaction to him singing and it was beautiful. I could see the heart and kindness in your face." Lisgo replies sharing how moved she was, writing, "I was brought to tears and I was feeling so much in this moment. It really was special and magic - thank you!"

Another commenter shares what so many of us believe: "Barry Manilow will be proud."

Colin sings full-version of "Mandy" by Barry Manilow. www.youtube.com, Ruth Lisgo

Sylvia Browne, Montel Williams, laughing, psychic, viral videos
Photo Credit: Canva, The Montel Williams Show

People laugh while scrolling their phone. Sylvia Browne looks concerned.

If you lived through the '90s and early aughts and happened to watch The Montel Williams Show or Larry King Live, you probably remember their "resident psychic," Sylvia Browne. With her flaxen blonde hair and very short bangs, Browne claimed to be a medium for "angels" and purported to be clairvoyant when audience members asked her questions.

Of course, it wasn't just Millennials watching. Many members of previous generations would, often secretly, enjoy her segments with abandon like a sci-fi zombie B-movie. It wasn't until we had a little hindsight that we could measure her extremely confident-sounding statements and understand that...many of them simply were not true.


Near the end of last year, people who grew up in this era began making compilations of some of Browne's most outrageous, inappropriate, and often laughably wrong predictions. The trend went so incredibly viral that it has picked up steam again, and these clips continue making the rounds.

In one montage of clips, we see person after person bravely stand up and ask Sylvia questions. Often they'll ask about someone who has gone missing. Browne's answers are curt and to the point. "He drowned" seems to be a big one. To one woman who asked about her father, Sylvia matter-of-factly states, "He's alive. He's in Florida."

A common question Montel often asked after Browne's declarations was, "Does that make sense?" Usually the answer was, "No, but thank you," as the audience member gingerly took their seat.

The best part of watching these clips continue to go viral is the communal joy it's bringing to the comment sections (not to mention the nostalgia and the jokes). One person writes that their life schedule was dependent on whether or not Browne was booked as a guest that day. "If Sylvia was on, I'd skip school."

psychic, Sylvia Browne, Montel Williams., Larry King, Mean Girls Amanda Seyfried in a scene from the movie Mean Girls. Giphy, Paramount Pictures

This person jokes after seeing the woman who was told her father has been in Florida for decades: "Her dad in Florida watching this: Darn it!"

Another acknowledges Browne's go-to answer. "Sylvia, I forgot my middle name…." "It drowned." "Okay, thank you."

And here's another spin on it: "5 years ago my father went missing while climbing Mount Everest I was wonde....." "He drowned in the Titanic." "Thank you."

Over on Threads, @Robbylernan posted quite a few Browne clips, claiming, "I went down a Sylvia Browne rabbit hole last night and I laughed my a-- off for an hour."

One person on the thread reminisces about their favorite Browne moment: "The best one was when she told that reporter that the girl in the picture was kidnapped and dead and the reporter said, 'That picture is me.' And she looked at the woman and said, 'You weren't kidnapped?' BRUHHH."

Note: Her predictions weren't all completely wrong. In fact, The Daily Mail recently shared a Browne prediction that went viral during the COVID-19 pandemic. Browne reportedly stated, "In around 2020, a severe pneumonia-like illness will spread throughout the globe, attacking the lungs and bronchial tubes and resisting all known treatments."

That said, skeptics debunked her claims for years. In a piece for TV Insider, freelance entertainment Martin Holmes reminds readers of the time "Browne told Louwanna Miller her missing daughter, Amanda Berry, was 'not alive,' explaining to the distraught mother, 'Your daughter's not the kind who wouldn't call.'" Holmes adds, "Berry was found alive in 2013 after she escaped years of captivity."

In 2010, Skeptical Inquirer Magazine noted, "Despite her repeated claims to be more than 85 percent correct," a study reported that "Browne has not even been mostly correct in a single case."

Wrong or right, it's the wrongness that seems to bring the most delight to those who are dipping into the nostalgia. Even Saturday Night Live got in on the fun.

Amy Poehler spoofs Sylvia Browne on SNL. www.youtube.com, Saturday Night Live, NBC Universal