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Education

Ever heard of 'The Tiffany Problem'? Why people think historically accurate things are wrong.

It's a strange but real dilemma for storytellers.

Ali Shaker/VOA, Tylwyth Eldar /Wikimedia Commons

The name Tiffany goes way back to Tiphaine Raguenel, who lived in Mont Saint Michel in the 1300s.

Depending on what generation you belong to, when you hear the name Tiffany, you might think of the famous jewelry store, the teen singer from the 80s or the less-in-the-spotlight daughter of the former president. Most likely, you don't think of a woman who lived in the Middle Ages.

In fact, if you were listening to an audiobook set in medieval times and the narrator introduced a character named Tiffany, you'd probably get yanked right out of the story as your brain would say, "Wait, why is there a Tiffany in this story? Isn't that a much more modern name?"

It's actually not, which is exactly why The Tiffany Problem is called The Tiffany Problem.

The Tiffany Problem refers to the fact that people in modern times will sometimes see something as anachronistic when it's not. It's something writers, filmmakers and other storytellers have to be aware of, as it can feel like there's a historical problem even if there isn't an actual historical problem.

Abraham Piper explains the dilemma and how it was coined:

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As Piper shares, fantasy author Jo Walton coined the term "The Tiffany Problem" and explained it:

"Your readers are modern people and know what they know, which is fine except when what they know isn’t actually right. For instance, the name Tiffany sounds extremely modern to us. It feels jarring when we read it as a character name in a historical setting, where we’d be quite happy with names like Anna and Jane. But our instinct is wrong, because Tiffany is a form of Theophania, and it was fairly common in medieval England and France. It went out of fashion later, and it’s because we don’t have seventeenth to nineteenth century examples that it feels modern. But you still can’t use it in a fantasy novel set in the exact time and place when the name would have been historically accurate, because it will jerk the reader out of their reading trance. They know it’s wrong and you can’t tell them that what they know is wrong."

Piper had also shared that "ha ha," which seems like a casual, modern colloquialism, is actually very old, with the first known use coming from a monk 1,000 years ago. He also mentions "OMG," which was used by a World War I admiral in a letter to Winston Churchill in 1917. And "hubby" as a slang term for husband? That goes way back to the 1680s. Who knew?

It's a bit ironic that writers who strive to ensure their historical fiction works are historically accurate can find themselves stymied by people being just flat-out wrong about what's accurate and what's not. Humans are interesting creatures, aren't we?

For more info about the name Tiffany than you ever thought you wanted to know but will be delighted to learn, CGP Grey created a whole video about the name that has 4.7 million views. Tiffany exploded the 1980s, but CGP Grey goes all the way back to the year 300 to uncover the origins of the name. It's genuinely entertaining. Watch:

- YouTubewww.youtube.com

If you're still here and want to take an even deeper dive into the history of Tiffany, this other video from CGP Grey is an incredible rabbit hole that will make you appreciate the work historians do and marvel at how much digging Grey actually did to provide the original Tiffany history video. We're talking trips to the deep dark corners of The British Library, the largest library in the world, and hours and hours of paging through books just to find the original source of this one poem that includes the name "Tiffany." It's a journey, but a fascinating one.

Enjoy "Someone Dead Ruined My Life… Again":

- YouTubewww.youtube.com

This article originally appeared in August

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Family

Daughter finally stands up to mom who called her the wrong name for 19 years

Calling people the wrong name is a profound show of disrespect.

via Canva/Photos

Woman says, 'Stop it, right there."

It can be exceedingly hurtful when someone intentionally calls you by the wrong name because it’s tied to your identity. It shows that the other person isn’t concerned about your wishes or cares enough to put in the time to get your name right. It's also just plain rude.

"[Getting names wrong] can go under the radar for a lot of individuals. Other people can see it as, 'oh, it's not that big of a deal,'" Myles Durkee, an assistant professor of psychology at the University of Michigan, told the BBC. "What makes it detrimental is the chronic pattern of doing this consistent mispronunciation. And the ripple effects from that are much more adverse, signalling to the individual that they're less important, that they're less valued."

Alyssa, 34, made the case that you don't need to explain your anger when someone calls you the wrong name for years. Alyssa recently had to put her foot down when her 62-year-old mother blatantly called her by a name she hadn’t liked since she was a teenager.

“When I was a child, my parents started using a nickname variant for me (Lyssy vs Alyssa). I have been expressing open distaste for this since I was 15, but I let my family continue using it for a while (because they're family) until about five years ago when I started actively and consistently correcting them. I deeply despise this nickname as it feels patronizing as an adult and they all know that,” Alyssa wrote.

nacknames, reddit, mom fight An upset teenager.via Canva/Photos

The situation came to a head on Alyssa’s birthday, which she celebrated with her younger brother, Toby, at her parents' house.

“As we're finishing up dinner and discussing [Christmas plans], my mother starts, ‘Toby, you and Lyssy can…’ and I interject with ‘Alyssa.’ It's at this point my mother slams her hands on the table and says, ‘You know what? F*** Christmas!’ and storms off to her room,” Alyssa wrote.

The mother wouldn’t leave her room, even when it was time to cut the cake and sing “Happy Birthday” to Alyssa. Alyssa refused to go to her mother’s room and talk about the disagreement because she made it clear did not want to be called Lyssa.

The father took mom’s side and said she used the wrong name because she has chronic pain and hasn’t been sleeping well.

“Just before I walk out, [Toby] says, ‘Alyssa, stop looking for reasons to hate Mom.’ I've never felt white hot rage flare through me like that, but I held back from cursing him out and just left,” she wrote. Alyssa asked the Reddit forum where she posed her story if she was in the wrong for refusing to smooth things over with her mom.

nacknames, reddit, mom fight An upset mother. via Canva/Photos

The commenters overly supported Alyssa for drawing a line in the sand. “You are a 34-year-old adult and everybody around you needs to stop calling you names you don't want to be called. It's not a big demand and your end, and it's not a big burden on their end,” one commenter wrote. “Mix-ups happen, but getting angry after making a mistake and holding a grudge for being corrected is toddler behaviour,” another wrote, criticizing the mother.

“I don't see how chronic pain makes it more difficult to pronounce your name correctly. Your name perfectly reasonable to expect everyone to use it. Your correction was very low-key,” another commenter wrote.

However, there were a few people who thought that the mother’s chronic pain may have played a role in her calling the wrong name. “I'm not excusing the mom, but chronic pain can cause something called ‘brain fog,’ and part of that is issues with words,” they wrote. “I suffer from chronic pain due to an autoimmune disorder. I forget words, dates, phone numbers, etc., all the time. You know what I don't forget? My own child's name,” another commenter clarified.

Ultimately, people’s names are precious to them and people think it’s understandable to be angry if someone calls you by the wrong one for years. The mom could have slipped up because she was dealing with brain fog. But if that was the case, why didn’t she just apologize?

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Family

Dad wonders if he's wrong for telling Grandma she can't have a 'stupid' nickname

Not everyone wants to be called "Grandma" and "Grandpa." But is this nickname too much?

Photo credit: Canva

Some grandparent nicknames are cute. Some…not so much.

Lots of grandparents feel like the names “grandma” and “grandpa” feel too old, and vote for younger, hipper nicknames. But we all know this can sometimes venture too far into overly cutesy territory.

Such was the case for one dad who found out that instead of “Grandma,” his mom wanted to be called “Glammy” by her soon-to-be grandkid.

Frustrated, he took to Reddit for advice on how to handle the situation.

“My mother is the type of woman who hates the idea of getting old,” he wrote, saying, “She tries to hide it in any way she possibly can.”

That includes coming up with alternative nicknames, which the dad at first thought was funny, but since then has “learned that she’s completely serious.” And when he’s tried to put his foot down by saying he won’t allow it, his mother gets mad at him.

“The most recent name she has come up with is Glammy because she saw a post that says ‘when you’re a grandma but you’re young and hip you get called Glammy,’” he continued, admitting that was that the only one he liked since he knew his kids would likely just end up saying “Gammy” or “Grammy,” which he found acceptable.

AITA for telling my Mother that I will not allow my Child to call her any name except Grandma?
byu/Olivers-Thoughts inAITAH

“But some of the names she wants are FiFi, Lolli (like lollipop), Bibi, Lola, Ari…” he lamented. “To me, these names are just stupid… I’m perfectly fine with names that are somewhat normal but for some reason I can’t get the image of my child telling someone that their ‘FiFi is picking her up’ and she just gets laughed at cause it’s a stupid name. We’ve all tried to give my mom name suggestions but are shot down every time and told that we are taking this experience away from her. What do y’all think?”

Down in the comments, people lighthearted told the man that this was a non-issue, however aggravating it is right now.

For one thing, people joked that neither him nor his mom would actually have a say in the matter. That power would belong to the kid.

“You think you get to decide that? You don’t. My son calls my mother Poppy. He calls his uncle ‘Achoo.’ Kids will do what they will,” one person wrote.

Other’s pointed out that all roads eventually lead to “Grandma”. As one person put it, “In my experience whatever name she picks or insists on would eventually become Grandma [Name] anyway. She wants to be called Fifi? Congrats, she’s now Grandma Fifi.”

Quite a few chimed in, with hard evidence, that there are nicknames far, far worse than “Glammy.”

“Do you think you have it bad? My stepmother wanted to be addressed as ‘grandpa Joe’s young wife, Susie’ L O L.”

“I called my favorite grandma Grandma Pup Pup. Pup Pup was my dog that lived with her. I was 2 and couldn't say 'puppy'. It stuck.”

“I am Guaca because my granddaughter couldn’t say Grandma☺️”

“lol our (step)granddaughter calls my husband papa duck. It came about from her first calling him Donald Duck (due to his name), and evolved into Papa after her lil sis was born. She calls me Superwoman 😂 She was 4 at the time.”

The OP would later write that “when I don’t push this issue with my mom it turns into her saying things that I have to do and I cannot do,” which alludes to a more complex power struggle, rather than simply a name pet peeve. But regardless, hopefully he (and everyone else dealing with grandparent name woes) can be put a little more at ease knowing that this doesn’t have to be a huge deal. Just another case of pick your battles.

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Family

Teen shares why he won't change his 'girly' name even though his parents have serious regrets

His parents want him to choose a more "professional" name before college, but he won't have it.

via Canva

A teen fights with his parents to keep his name.

As parents age, they may regret the names they give their children. This is especially true as they get older and have to enter the professional world, where studies show unusual names are a hindrance. However, should they have the right to change their child’s name as a teen if their child isn’t into it?

That’s the crux of a recent viral story on Reddit’s AITA forum.

A 16-year-old boy who goes by the username 1ft2nyn shared how, for the past 6 years, his parents have been nudging him to use a different name, but he isn’t interested. “My parents started to regret my name when I was maybe 10 … [They] started sometimes calling me by my middle name and only stopping when I told them it was weird and I liked my first name. When I was 13, they asked me if I ever went by a nickname and I said no,” he wrote.

The boy’s name is Sunny, which was intentionally spelled with a u, the common girl’s spelling, instead of an o, as in the traditional boy’s spelling of “Sonny.” Sunny says his parents chose the name as a middle finger to their parents, who had insisted on having a hand in naming their previous kids.

names, baby names, name regret A teen fights with his parents to keep his name.via Canva

A year ago, the parents asked Sunny if he wanted to change his name to something “more adult” to spare him the expense of changing the name on his diploma when he graduates college. But Sunny wouldn’t budge. “I was like, ‘Oh, I guess if people want that, it makes sense.’ Then I said, ‘It must suck to hate your name.’

Six months ago, Sunny’s parents said he looked a lot like a “James” and asked if he liked the name Luke. Three months ago, they tried again and presented him with 3 new name options, and he declined to make the change. “They said they feel like they named me as a big f*** you to their families but felt bad that I had such an unserious name for a man. I told them I didn't want to change my name and I always loved the way they talked about finding my name,” Sunny wrote.

It’s interesting to note that the parent's final appeal to Sunny was as much about their own feelings as his. “They said they really didn't want to live with the guilt,” Sunny wrote. “I told them how I feel about my name is more important now. They told me I should at least think of their feelings and that I should consider the future and whether I'll be taken seriously.”

names, baby names, name regret A teen fights with his parents to keep his name.via Canva

So, is Sunny wrong for refusing to change his name to appease his parents and possibly make his professional life less challenging? The commenters on the post overwhelmingly supported Sunny for standing strong and keeping his name.

“Sonny or Sunny, regardless how you spell it is a perfectly normal name for a male. An identity is intertwined with a name and it's hard to separate the two. You, and you alone, are the person that should decide if you want to change your name,” Naisfurious wrote. “It sounds like your parents are more concerned about their feelings regarding your name than your feelings. that name is yours, you're your own person, and if you don't want to change your name because you like it, then don't. those are their feelings to live with, and putting them on you as a child is unfair and weird. I also have a weather name and I still love it, and i'm almost thirty. More power to you!” Anxious-Nobody-4966 added.

Because Sunny isn’t an adult, there is a slight chance that his parents could change his name without his consent. Some commenters said Sunny should take a firm stand and let his parents know there will be consequences for pushing too hard on this issue.

“Make it clear to your parents that if they were to do that there would be serious long term consequences for your relationship and that you will NEVER answer to or acknowledge that name under any circumstances and will have your name changed back the day you turn 18,” CelticMusebooks wrote. “Let them know the harder they push, the more stubborn you’ll be and if they don’t watch out, their grandson is going to be sunny jr. Whether you actually have a jr. is up to you, but it might help shut them up for now,” RezCuong added.

Ultimately, Sunny only has 2 more years left to fend off his parents and keep his name. The post he made on Reddit received over 2,000 comments from people who have his back, so it has to have given him the shot in the arm he needs to keep standing firm. This post is a great example of people pulling hard for someone to lean into positivity instead of settling for a boring name that looks good on a resume.

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Pop Culture

Think the weird way we save contacts to our phone is new? A language nerd says guess again.

Turns out a common phone habit is connected to the way last names were created thousands of years ago.

@etymologynerd/Instagram

Suddenly "Joanna Math Class" in our phone makes a whole lotta sense.

It might seem like a very modern concept to label contacts like “Richard Chiropractor” or “Sarah Pilates,” but as one self proclaimed etymology nerd explains it, this way of naming people is actually a time honored tradition for western languages.

Adam Aleksic, a 23-year-old linguist and content creator from New York City, broke down exactly how western surnames were created using this very method.

“Before the 12th century, everybody just had first names,” Aleksic began. But as England’s population began expanding, more record keeping was needed.

This introduced four different types of surnames—occupational, toponymic, adjectival, and relationship descriptor.

An occupational surname categorizes a person by their profession, much like today you might save someone as “A.J. Plumber” or “Leo Finance” in your phone, Aleksic explained.

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Toponymic surnames, on the other hand, are linked to the place a person is from or where you met them. Aleksic used "Joanna Math Class" or "Raina Minnesota” as examples.

Then there are the adjectival surnames, referring to a characteristic or behavior. Aleksic’s examples included "Dylan DO NOT ANSWER" and "Steph (stoner)."

“Imagine ur last name is ‘do not answer’ lol” quipped one viewer.

Finally, there’s relationship descriptor names, which Aleksic said represent someone’s personal connection to another person—think "Johnson," meaning "John's son." This might be the most common way we categorize our contacts today, with an additional layer. "Ina Bestie" or "Sam Tinder," for instance, both reveal our own unique connection to this person.

So all this to say—this new thing really isn’t all that new.

And that’s a major reason why Aleksic makes videos about linguistic fun facts in the first place. In an interview with Buzzfeed, he said, "A common theme in my research and videos is that we're constantly playing out old linguistic patterns in a new medium. I find that comforting because it means you don't have to be alarmed by language change. Rather, you can be aware of how language holds power and then use it wisely."

On his account, you can find all kinds of fascinating language and/or history tidbits—from how certain colors got their names to dissecting Gen Z slang terms to breaking down how fonts hit differently. If you’re looking for fun an educational scroll give Aleksic a follow here.

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Dad asks for help after passing down 'embarrassing’ last name to his 3 kids

He’s petrified that they'll be bullied.

via Andrea Piacquadio/Pexels

A dad worries about his 3 kids.

Having an unusual name that is easy to make fun of can create a world of pain for children because it makes them an easy target for bullies. But that’s not where the pain ends. As adults, people may not have to deal with bullies, but they have to hear the same tired jokes over and over again. Further, studies show that people with unique last names have a harder time finding employment.

All in all, it’s just an extra burden that makes life unnecessarily challenging.

Some ask, ‘If your name causes much trouble, why not change it?’ However, our names are our connection to our family and history, so it can be hard to change something closely connected to our identities.

A dad on Reddit who believes that his last name is “embarrassing” wasn’t sure how to handle the situation with his children, so he reached out to the NameNerds forum on Reddit for advice.

“I have an embarrassing last name (Roach). It’s always bothered me throughout my childhood and adulthood,” the father wrote. “Now I have kids ages 14, 10, and 5. They’ve said that no one has ever really bullied them over their last name but I still feel bad. I know it’s too late to change their last name. Just seeking some advice or input from anyone who has an embarrassing last name and how they deal with passing the name onto their kids.”

The father began to feel insecure about his name after having children.

“I had accepted my last name and was fine with it. The woman I married accepted the last name too so we gave our kids the name. It was after I had kids that I started to think about it again and wondering about their experiences,” the father wrote.

upset dad, embarrassing names, reddit A dad worried about his kids.via Andrea Piacquadio/Pexels

The responses from fellow Redditors supported the father by saying that if the name isn’t affecting the kids, stop worrying about it. Many thought broaching the subject with his kids might worsen the situation.

“Don't borrow trouble,” one commenter wrote. “They don't seem to mind it and you've survived with it thus far, so what's the problem? I agree that Roach isn't the prettiest surname ever, but I've heard before so it doesn't seem that crazy to me.”

Another popular response was simple and to the point: “If they don’t feel bad, then don’t make it weird for them.”

One commenter said that by discussing the topic, he becomes the bully himself.

“If you mention it too much, you may give them the reason they don't currently have to feel insecure about it,” a commenter wrote. “You'd be the one making fun of them for their last name. You'd be their 1st bully. Don't be their 1st bully/the reason they have anxiety.”

“You clearly need to name them Papa,” another joked.

reddit, baby names, child A distracted girl ion school.via RDNE Stock project/Pexels

The father took the comments to heart and realized he should stop worrying about the family name. “I can’t tell if they feel bad or not, but they also don’t complain about it, so maybe that’s a sign that they’re ok,” he reasoned. “I’m probably overthinking it.”

The father’s dilemma is an excellent example of a common problem that many parents have: projecting their insecurities on their children.

"It is natural to worry about your children and have anxieties or worries about them. You want the best for them and do not want them to be burdened with the same issues you faced as a child. However, these thoughts and worries are your own, and you can protect your children from your own fears and concerns if you work on limiting your projection," Heather R. Hayes, LPCC, writes on her website.

Samantha Rodman, PhD, says the best way to stop projecting onto our kids is to realize when it’s happening and ask ourselves why. “Noticing this tendency in yourself is half the battle and the other half is actively engaging in self-talk that counters these negative assumptions,” she writes at HuffPost. “So, you say to yourself, ‘Why is this bothering me? What images or thoughts are running through my head?’”

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Family

Kobe and Emma rise, Karen and Elon fall: How pop culture has influenced baby name trends

The past 20 years have seen certain names come and go based on movies, sports and even social media memes.

Photo by saiid bel on Unsplash

Baby naming trends are influenced by many things, including popular entertainment.

What's in a name? In the modern day, it could be a favorite movie character, a beloved sports star or even a reality show participant. Pop culture has long influenced baby name trends, but the digital age and the proliferation of news and entertainment sources seems to have amplified the phenomenon.

BabyCenter has been reporting on baby name trends for girls and boys for the past 20 years, and for 2024 the company put together a report analyzing 20 moments over the past two decades that helped define those trends.

It all began with Emma in 2002, thanks to Ross and Rachel giving their baby girl the name on the show "Friends." It skyrocketed in popularity almost immediately, held the No. 1 spot in the rankings from 2004 to 2006, topped the list again in 2008, and hasn't fallen below No. 4 since.

Then came the epic undoing of Karen.

Most Americans grew up with women named Karen in our social circles, as the name peaked in popularity in the 50s and 60s. By the 2000s, it was well on its way down the list, but after comedian Dane Cook's joke about the friend everyone has that nobody likes named Karen in 2006—and then the subsequent years of memes calling anyone who wants to speak to the manager "a Karen"—the name went into a freefall, from #164 in 2005 to #2,125 in 2024.

Politics has played a role in naming trends, with the Obama girls giving Malia and Sasha a shove up in the ranks since Obama's presidency. Sarah Palin's kids' names also piqued people's interest after she lost as John McCain's vice presidential candidate. Bristol, Piper and Willow all rose in the years following the 2008 election, and Willow is still in the top 100. Since 2016, Hillary, Donald, Elizabeth, Ivanka and Nancy have all risen as well.

Many factors go into what people decide to name a baby.

Photo by Hu Chen on Unsplash

On the technology front, the names Apple, Mac and Siri have all risen in popularity, though the rise has been modest compared to others in the report. And Elon, after Elon Musk purchased Twitter, dropped more than 450 spots, becoming one of the top falling names of 2022.

Books-to-movie franchises, of course, have given rise to many a name, such as "Twilight" series solidified the popularity of Isabella and her nickname, Bella, and the "50 Shades" series pushed Grey and Anastasia up in the ranks.

Some famous names have triggered a grouping of similar names.For instance,Jaden got a push in the early 2000s thanks to Will Smith's son in "The Pursuit of Happyness" along with a host of other –aden names like Aiden, Caden and Brayden. The birth of Beyoncé and Jay Z's daughter, Blue Ivy Carter, inspired not just more Blues, but other color-based names as well—Lavender, Scarlett, Hazel, Ivory and Violet all spiked in the year after her birth.

Sports have had their influence in the past two decades as well, particularly the basketball. NBA favorites such as Lebron James and Kyrie Irving have made their mark on the rankings, and the tragic death of Kobe Bryant and his daughter Gianna resulted in Kobe, Gianna and Bryant all becoming more popular as well.

Television juggernaut Shonda Rhimes has had an influence with her popular TV shows on ABC, "Grey's Anatomy," "Scandal," and "How to Get Away with Murder." Her shows have pushed names like Arizona (up 35%) Callie (up 30%), Fitzgerald (up 56%) and Huck (up 44%) up the charts.

And then there are the megahit movie influences. The Disney sensation "Frozen" brought about a wave of popularity for the names Elsa, Anna, Kristoff, and Hans in 2013. The Marvel Cinematic Universe has seen an influx of names like Logan, Wanda, Agatha, Darcy and even Vision. The name Chadwick also gained popularity after "Black Panther" actor Chadwick Boseman's death in 2020. And the 2023 success of "Barbie" has pushed some old-fashioned names up in the list, including Barbara, Greta and Margot, reflecting the film's main character, director and acting lead. (Barbara was the biggest rising star among the three, going up a whopping 994 spots in the rankings.)

Surely, pop culture will continue to influence how people name their babies for years to come and no doubt it will be every bit as unpredictable as the name Barbara making a comeback.

To see how popular a name currently is and how it's trended over time, visit BabyCenter's baby name database here.

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names

Ever heard of 'The Tiffany Problem'? Why people think historically accurate things are wrong.

It's a strange but real dilemma for storytellers.

Daughter finally stands up to mom who called her the wrong name for 19 years

Calling people the wrong name is a profound show of disrespect.

Dad wonders if he's wrong for telling Grandma she can't have a 'stupid' nickname

Not everyone wants to be called "Grandma" and "Grandpa." But is this nickname too much?

Teen shares why he won't change his 'girly' name even though his parents have serious regrets

His parents want him to choose a more "professional" name before college, but he won't have it.

Think the weird way we save contacts to our phone is new? A language nerd says guess again.

Turns out a common phone habit is connected to the way last names were created thousands of years ago.

Dad asks for help after passing down 'embarrassing’ last name to his 3 kids

He’s petrified that they'll be bullied.

Kobe and Emma rise, Karen and Elon fall: How pop culture has influenced baby name trends

The past 20 years have seen certain names come and go based on movies, sports and even social media memes.

Woman who was pressured to quit her job to raise stepdaughter's baby makes a bold decision

15 hilarious parenting comics that are almost too real

Golden Retriever's unbridled excitement over new dog bed is too sweet not to watch

Nicole Kidman shares the unconventional marriage rule she has with husband Keith Urban

Sweden makes stunning decision to trademark its name to avoid confusion