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Health

Thousands of people explained why they're not afraid of dying. Here are their top reasons.

These perspectives might help some people who have a fear of death.

woman walking into the light
Photo credit: Canva

Fear of death is very common.

Most of us are at least a little bit afraid of dying, or at least not exactly excited about the idea. Self-preservation is a natural instinct, after all, and there's obviously nothing wrong with wanting to live. But there's a difference between wanting to live and being terrified of dying, especially since the latter can have a negative impact on your life. In some cases, fear of death can stop you from fully living—an unfortunately ironic conundrum.

Some fear the dying process itself and whatever pain or suffering they think might go along with that. Some fear the basic idea of no longer existing or the unknown of what, if anything, comes next. Some people fear the death of a loved one more than their own. An extreme fear of death that affects a person's daily life is called thanatophobia, and the Cleveland Clinic estimates that 3% to 10% of the population struggles with it.

Of course, if someone has a debilitating phobia, professional therapy is recommended. However, a person with a less clinical fear of dying may benefit from shifting how they look at and think about death. What's the secret of those who aren't afraid of dying? Thousands of people who don't fear death weighed in on why, and their answers may provide some unconsidered perspective for those stymied by the inescapable reality that their life on Earth will eventually end.

Here are the most popular reasons people said they don't fear dying.

from AskReddit

They are truly living life to its fullest

"Given the hand that I was dealt, I've a lived a life that I am proud of. If I die tomorrow, I know I was a good person who did his best."

"This is absolutely how I feel. I am lucky to finally reach a state of awareness that I didn’t know existed for a longass time. How I see it, everything after this is a bonus. Gotta try to enjoy it, spread as much love and joy as people are willing to receive, and do my best to keep learning and growing (mostly because it brings me fulfillment).

I still don’t want to die yet. But I’m also not afraid of dying like I used to be."

"100% death is something to be acknowledged, reflected upon, respected, and celebrated in a manner that anticipates the unknown. I’m not 'rushing or looking forward to death,' but when it does happen, I’ve lived a full life chasing happiness. No regrets. I feel I made the best choices I could, and lived an honest and wild life. Life is such a wild belle curve, and I’m overly thankful and excited for the persimmons randomly given to me to try as I am about something outrageously fantastic. Finding happiness in the smallest gifts sincerely brings so much peace to my soul."

Living a long life isn't always desirable

"I've seen old age, dementia, Alzheimer's and Parkinson's. Dying while still yourself is a good life, and is rather be around for a good time, not a long time."

"Ending up with Alzheimer's or dementia is more terrifying to me than either death or a painful one."

"Yep. As a caregiver for the elderly I totally agree with this. Watching the people you love literally become shells of themselves because of those diseases is one of the most heartbreaking things I’ve ever experienced in my life."

"This is my fear after watching a relative with pretty much pieces falling off of them for years while continually being offered life lengthening treatments. Finally a point came where he said no, enough is enough. This is the position that I absolutely do not ever wish to find myself in. His family is still in therapy from being a part of this long, drawn out, horrific process."

Death means rest

"I see death as rest. Life is exhausting, and at some point, we all deserve a break."

"100% my grandpa who fought in WW2 was in his 90s and would always say he was tired of living, but the doctors just kept keeping him alive. He said he lived a great life; just wanted to sleep."

"I was given last rites as a cancer patient in the ICU when I had sepsis a few years ago. I've recovered, but I remember very distinctly that being close to death felt like going 'home' ... mostly because the pain lifted. It was honestly like I'd imagine it felt in the womb. I didn't mind it at all."

"I feel this way, too. Just a sweet rest. I’m just a bit disappointed I won’t be aware of it."

Giving up control and accepting the inevitable

"I only fear a long painful one. I don’t fear what after. It’s gotta be either nothingness or everythingness."

"Because once you’re dead you don’t worry about being dead."

"Because I have no control over it and no reason to think it's unpleasant."

"I was dead for billions of years. Didn't bother me the first time."

"There's only a few things guaranteed in life, and death is one. I have no control over it, so I'm chugging along hoping and trying to be the best person I can be. I feel like I'm failing half the time, but I'm still going."

"Death is as natural as birth. I do not fear the inevitable."

'We sleep every night with no absolute certainty that we'll wake up, yet we don't fear it. I see this as death's training wheels."

Being okay with leading a not-so-notable life

"I'm not actively seeking it, and while there are life choices I would have made differently given the chance, I'm not going to allow myself to be burdened with regret if death approaches. I came from nothing, I'll return to nothing.

Studying history, in any given period of time, there are only a few hundred people of notability out of millions of humans. My insignificance to the passage of time or progress of humanity bothered me when I was younger, but I've come to peace that given the laws of probability, I was always more likely to be among the marginal millions (billions) than the notable few. Moreover, I made a conscious choice that what it takes to be among the notable few would compromise my interests and values too much. I'd have to give up family, passions, ethics, or something else I hold dear."

"What I also find interesting is even the most notable humans in history will one day be forgotten. Nothing humans do or achieve is permanent in the big picture of the universe. Take from that what you will. For me, it allows me to breathe and relax. I suppose some people will use that as justification for doing horrible things in the world. I don’t. I still strive to be the best version of myself."

"I also find a lot of value in appreciating that even if my name isn't remembered in history books, the kindness I show others - often just those in my immediate orbit, it's not like I have a huge platform or following - has a rippling effect that never really ends. Even if I just inspire another random citizen to do something kind, or thoughtful, or brave - that's a behavior that may never have come into our world had it not been for my actions. And then what might THAT person's actions inspire? How far will that chain reaction go? Recognizing that you truly can't even quantify the true impacts of your goodness helped me appreciate that doing good in my daily life is enough. Sure, I might not catch the attention of the press or historians, but I know I have inspired positive change in this world that reaches wider than I will ever know, and that is enough for me to keep trying."

Near death experiences changing their perspective

"Near death experience moved me from 'I’m scared of death' to 'hm, was that it?'"

"I had one of those. A complete calm came over me and I just thought, 'Ah, so this is how I die.'"

"Yes, almost died, kind of did die because my heart stopped a few times and came back on its own. Postpartum pre eclampsia. At first there was panic like, oh my god I'm gonna die and worrying about my babies. Then it was just calm. Like, this is fine. Very peaceful."

"I had a similar sensation when I almost died giving birth to my daughter. I was bleeding excessively during a cesarean and could feel myself slipping away as I continually lost and regained consciousness. I felt very peaceful. I knew my child would be loved and everything would be ok and that I could rest."

"I also almost died of sepsis/organ failure after ruptured appendix… there was 3 days of uncertainty if I would live. All I remember was peace. Felt like everything was right. I felt the presence of everyone Iv ever known who is dead which I still question… people I would never have been thinking about. Then when I was actually coming back to myself I became more and more fearful… possibility of being on dialysis forever or leaving loved ones behind. Changed me for sure."

"That’s how I felt after my motorcycle accident. That’s the closest I had come to death and still don’t know how long I was out for. Glad to still be here but death no longer scares me."

See more responses here.

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Sustainability

A guy planted two potatoes in an Amazon shipping box to prove a point. Mission accomplished.

You should see how many potatoes he got out of this experiment.

The Gardening Channel with James Prigioni/YouTube

Can you grow vegetables in a cardboard box?

In the era of supermarkets and wholesale clubs, growing your own food isn't a necessity for most Americans. But that doesn't mean it's not a good idea to try.

A household garden can be a great way to reduce your grocery bill and increase your intake of nutrient-dense foods. It can also be a good source of exercise and a hobby that gets you outside in the sunshine and fresh air more often. However, not everyone has a yard where they can grow a garden or much outdoor space at all where they live. You can plant things in containers, but that requires some upfront investment in planters.

container garden, growing plants in containers, growing vegetables, homegrown, producePotted plants and herbs can thrive in a container garden.Photo credit: Canva

Or does it? Gardener James Prigioni set out to see if an Amazon shipping box would hold up as a planter for potatoes. He took a basic single-walled Amazon box, lined it with dried leaves to help with moisture retention, added four to five inches of soil (his own homegrown soil he makes), added three dark red seed potatoes, covered them with more soil, added a fertilizer, then watered them.

He also planted a second, smaller Amazon box with two white seed potatoes, following the same steps.

Two weeks later, he had potato plants growing out of the soil. Ten days after that, the boxes were filled with lush plants.

- YouTubewww.youtube.com

Prigioni explained how to "hill" potato plants when they grow tall enough, which helps encourage more tuber growth and protect the growing potatoes from sunlight. Hilling also helps support the plants as they grow taller so they don't flop over. He also added some mulch to help keep the plants cooler as the summer grew hotter.

After hilling, Prigioni only needed to keep up with watering. Both varieties of potatoes flowered, which let him know the tubers were forming. The red potato leaves developed some pest issues, but not bad enough to need intervention, while the white potato plants were unaffected. "It goes to show how variety selection can make a big difference in the garden," he explained.

The visible plants have to start dying before you harvest potatoes, and Prigioni checked in with the boxes themselves when they got to that point.

vegetable garden, growing potatoes, grow potatoes in a cardboard box, Amazon box, farmingFreshly harvested potatoes are so satisfying.Photo credit: Canva

"I am pleasantly surprised with how well the boxes held up," he said, especially for being single-walled boxes. The smaller box was completely intact, while the larger box had begun to split in one corner but not enough to affect the plants' growth. "This thing was completely free to grow in, so you can't beat that," he pointed out.

Prigioni predicted that the red potatoes grown in the larger box would be more productive. As he cut open the box and pulled potatoes from the larger box, they just kept coming, ultimately yielding several dozen potatoes of various sizes. The smaller box did have a smaller yield, but still impressive just from two potatoes planted in an Amazon box.

People often think they don't have room to grow their own food, which is why Prigioni put these potato boxes on his patio. "A lot of people have an area like this," he said.

"I will never look at cardboard boxes the same," Prigioni added. "There are so many uses for them in the garden and it's just a great free resource we have around, especially if you're ordering stuff from Amazon all the time."

cardboard box, container garden, amazon box, growing vegetables, gardeningDo you see a box or do you see a planter?Photo credit: Canva

People loved watching Prigioni's experiment and shared their own joy—and success—in growing potatoes in a similar fashion:

"I have been growing potatoes in every box I can find for several years now. I have had excellent success. I honestly think potatoes prefer cardboard. And yes, most of my boxes were from Amazon."

"I live in an upstairs apartment with a little deck and I have a container garden with containers on every single stair leading to the deck. I grow potatoes in a laundry basket. It's amazing how much food I can get from this type of garden!! Grateful."

"I literally got up and grabbed the empty boxes by our front door, the potatoes that have started to sprout, and soil i had inside and started my planting at 1am. Lol. I will take them outside today and finish. Thank you James!"

"I grew potatoes and tomatoes on my tiny balcony in Germany (in buckets and cardboard boxes). Now I have a big garden here in America. I so love to grow my own food."

"I grew sweet potatoes in cardboard boxes. It’s so much fun."

Next time you're stuck with an Amazon box that you don't have a use for, consider whether you could use it as a planter for potatoes or some other edible harvest. Gardening doesn't have to be fancy to be effective.

You can find more of gardening experiments on The Gardening Channel with James Prigioni.

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Science

What will Earth look like if all its land ice melts? These maps show the clear answer.

Climate change isn't pretty.

via Business Insider Science/YouTube.

A map of the United States post land-ice melt.

Land ice: We got a lot of it. Considering the two largest ice sheets on earth — the one on Antarctica and the one on Greenland — extend more than 6 million square miles combined ... yeah, we're talkin' a lot of ice. But what if it was all just ... gone? Not like gone gone, but melted?

If all of earth's land ice melted, it would be nothing short of disastrous. And that's putting it lightly. This video by Business Insider Science (seen below) depicts exactly what our coastlines would look like if all the land ice melted. And spoiler alert: It isn't great. Lots of European cities like, Brussels and Venice, would be basically underwater.

I bring up the topic not just for funsies, of course, but because the maps are real possibilities.

How? Climate change.

As we continue to burn fossil fuels for energy and emit carbon into our atmosphere, the planet gets warmer and warmer. And that, ladies and gentlemen, means melted ice.

A study published this past September by researchers in the U.S., U.K., and Germany found that if we don't change our ways, there's definitely enough fossil fuel resources available for us to completely melt the Antarctic ice sheet.

Basically, the self-inflicted disaster you see above is certainly within the realm of possibility.


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In Africa and the Middle East? Dakar, Accra, Jeddah — gone.



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Millions of people in Asia, in cities like Mumbai, Beijing, and Tokyo, would be uprooted and have to move inland.



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South America would say goodbye to cities like Rio de Janeiro and Buenos Aires.


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And in the U.S., we'd watch places like Houston, San Francisco, and New York City — not to mention the entire state of Florida — slowly disappear into the sea.


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All GIFs via Business Insider Science/YouTube.

Business Insider based these visuals off National Geographic's estimation that sea levels will rise 216 feet (!) if all of earth's land ice melted into our oceans.

There's even a tool where you can take a detailed look at how your community could be affected by rising seas, for better or worse.

Although ... looking at these maps, it's hard to imagine "for better" is a likely outcome for many of us.

Much of America's most populated regions would be severely affected by rising sea levels, as you'll notice exploring the map, created by Alex Tingle using data provided by NASA.

Take, for instance, the West Coast. (Goodbye, San Fran!)



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Or the East Coast. (See ya, Philly!)


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And the Gulf Coast. (RIP, Bourbon Street!)

"This would not happen overnight, but the mind-boggling point is that our actions today are changing the face of planet Earth as we know it and will continue to do so for tens of thousands of years to come," said lead author of the study Ricarda Winkelmann, of the Potsdam Institute for Climate Impact Research.

If we want to stop this from happening," she says, "we need to keep coal, gas, and oil in the ground."

The good news? Most of our coastlines are still intact! And they can stay that way, too — if we act now.

World leaders are finallystarting to treat climate change like the global crisis that it is — and you can help get the point across to them, too.

Check out Business Insider's video below:


- YouTubewww.youtube.com


This article originally appeared eleven years ago.

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Community

Family invites UPS driver to cookout to 'make a plate', makes him part of the family

"Everybody family around here 😭."

Relaxed008/YouTube

UPS driver invited to family's cookout.

Family cookouts are the ultimate get-together. Good food, good people, and good quality time together. Invites are usually extended to close friends and kin—but one family extended the invite to a UPS driver (and total stranger) working a shift on a holiday weekend, proving community and hospitality are still alive and well.

TikToker @1fanto shared a touching video with his followers from Easter weekend where his family invited a UPS driver making rounds in their neighborhood to come to their cookout and 'make a plate.'

"Everybody family around here 😭," he captioned the video. "Everybody invited to the cookout.😂"

@1fanto

Everybody family around here 😭 #easter #cookout #wherethefunction

In the video, the UPS driver is seen standing in the family's driveway, and a group of cookout attendees warmly welcome him to join them. The uncle of @1fanto says to the driver, "You've been working hard all day man, you can go on in there!" He calls out for a woman named Stephanie to "take care of him!"

The UPS driver walks up the driveway, and they encourage him to go inside and get his fill as he enters the garage. After securing a plate of food and a drink, the driver walks back outside to mingle with guests, shaking hands with the uncle who invited him.

"You good?" the uncle asks, and the driver responds, "Yeah I'm good. They hooked me up. Thank you so much. Appreciate y'all for inviting me out." On his way back to his truck, the uncle encourages the driver to invite other workers to stop by as well.

@1fanto

Explaination to last video! Thank yall for the support really appreciate it. Yall are invited to the next cookout 🤝. #easter #cookout #fyp #upsdriver #invitedtothecookout

In a follow up video, @1fanto explained more about how the invite went down. He shares that the UPS driver was driving by the family's house on the Saturday before Easter, and at the time the family was enjoying a big fish fry cookout together. His uncle flagged the driver down, and he pulled over.

He shares that his uncle told the driver, "Go inside and get you a plate!" The driver asked him, "Are you sure?" But he reassured him, adding that the family made sure to ask the driver what he wanted and didn't want on his plate to "make sure he was good and got everything he needed".

"I saw it had a positive impact. That's what my family do. That's not something that we just do for social media," @1fanto shared. "That's something that we do on a regular basis that doesn't just happen when the camera's on. It happens when the camera's off, too. We're all equal. We all bleed the same."

Viewers had lots of positive things to say in the comment section.

"I am a UPS driver and that makes our day. People showing love to us"

"Your family represents the best of America🫶🏼 Your uncle is now all of our uncle."

"Working the holidays suck. But they made that man’s entire day. Love it."

"I love when people are nice for no reason. You’re so real ♥️thank you for being so kind."

cookout
Love Stories

A husband documented his wife's battle with cancer capturing love and loss beautifully

"These photographs do not define us, but they are us."

Angelo Merendino

Angelo Merendino with his late wife Jennifer

When I saw these incredible photos Angelo Merendino took of his wife, Jennifer, as she battled breast cancer, I felt that I shouldn't be seeing this snapshot of their intimate, private lives. The photos humanize the face of cancer and capture the difficulty, fear, and pain that they experienced during the difficult time.

But as Angelo commented: "These photographs do not define us, but they are us."

In his photo exhibition, Angelo wrote:

"Jennifer was diagnosed with breast cancer five months after our wedding. She passed less than four years later. During our journey we realized that many people are unaware of the reality of day to day life with cancer. After Jen’s cancer metastasized we decided to share our life through photographs."

All images by Angelo Merendino, published here with permission.


cancer, cancer treatment, marriage, love, love storiesAngelo and Jennifer drink beersassets.rebelmouse.io

On his website, Angelo writes:

"With each challenge we grew closer. Words became less important. One night Jen had just been admitted to the hospital, her pain was out of control. She grabbed my arm, her eyes watering, 'You have to look in my eyes, that’s the only way I can handle this pain.' We loved each other with every bit of our souls. Jen taught me to love, to listen, to give and to believe in others and myself. I’ve never been as happy as I was during this time."

cancer, cancer treatment, marriage, love, love storiesJennifer holds Angeloassets.rebelmouse.io



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"People assume that treatment makes you better, that things become OK, that life goes back to 'normal,' Angelo wrote. "There is no normal in cancer-land. Cancer survivors have to define a new sense of normal, often daily. And how can others understand what we had to live with everyday?"

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This article originally appeared thirteen years ago.

love stories
Health

Why 'boomer panic' is a real thing, not just generational bashing

There's a heartbreaking reason behind the problem.

via Canva/Photos

What is "boomer panic"?

In a video posted in September 2023, TikToker @myexistentialdread used the phrase “boomer panic” to explain how baby boomers (1946 to 1964) can quickly become unhinged when faced with the most minor problems. It all started when she visited a Lowe’s hardware store and encountered a boomer-aged woman working at the check-out stand.

“I had a dowel that didn’t have a price tag on it, whatever, so I ran back and took a photo of the price tag. And as I was walking back towards her, I was holding up my phone… because I had multiple dowels and that was the one that didn’t have the price tag on it,” she said in the video. “And she looks at me and she goes, ‘I don’t know which one that is,’ and she starts like, panicking.” The TikToker said that the woman was “screechy, panicking for no reason.”

Many people raised by boomers understood what she meant by "boomer panic." "Boomer panic is such a good phrase for this! Minor inconvenience straight to panic," the most popular commenter wrote. And while there was some boomer-bashing in the comments, some younger people tried to explain why the older folks have such a hard time regulating their emotions: “From conversations with my mother, they weren’t allowed to make mistakes and were harshly punished if they did.” The TikToker responded, “A lot of people mentioned this, and it breaks my heart. I think you’re right,” Myexistentialdread responded.

A follow-up video by YourTango Editor Brian Sundholm tried to explain boomer panic in an empathetic way.

“Well, it's likely that there actually was a reason the woman started panicking about a seemingly meaningless problem,” Sundholm said. “Most of us nowadays know the importance of recognizing and feeling our emotions.” Sundholm then quoted therapist Mitzi Bachman, who says that when people bottle up their emotions and refuse to express them, it can result in an "unhinged" reaction.

TikToker Gabi Day shared a similar phenomenon she noticed with her boomer mom; she called the behavior “anxiety-at-you.”

Day’s boomer mother was “reactive,” “nervous,” and “anxious” throughout her childhood. Now, she is still on edge with Day’s children. “She's immediately like gasping and just really like exaggerated physical reactions, and then, of course, that kind of startles my kid,” Day said. “Again, I know that this comes from a place of care. It's just a lot,” she continued.

@itsgabiday

It comes from a place of love but it is exhausting 🫠😬 #millennialmomsoftiktok #boomergrandma #reparenting #gentleparenting

There is a significant difference in emotional intelligence and regulation between how boomers were raised and how younger generations, such as Gen X, Millennials, and Gen Z, were brought up. Boomers grew up when they had to bottle up their feelings to show their resilience. This can lead to growing anger, frustration with situations and people, chronic stress, and anxiety—all conditions that can lead to panicky, unhinged behavior.

Ultimately, Sundholm says that we should sympathize with boomers who have difficulty regulating their emotions and see it as an example of the great strides subsequent generations have made in managing their mental health. “It may seem a little harsh to call something "boomer panic," but in the context of how many of them were raised, it makes a lot of sense,” Sundholm says. “It also underlines the importance of emotional regulation skills and teaching them to future generations. And maybe most important, having compassion for those who never had a chance to learn them.”

This article originally appeared in March

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