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10 former bullies share what inspired them to become kinder

Change is possible.

bullying, stop bullying
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Bullying is often modeled by parental behavior.

Bullies are made, not born. Bullying traits might be picked up in a variety of ways, but violence, aggression and cruelty are most certainly learned behaviors during a child’s development.

The book “The Complete Idiot’s Guide to Child and Adolescent Psychology,” co-authored by psychiatrist Jack C. Westman M.D. and science writer Victoria Costello, lists five major factors that most often lead to bullying: physical punishment, watching aggressive behavior in adults, violent television, problems with processing emotions and undiagnosed mental illness.

The underlying theme in these causes? A lack of empathy. Bullies are often taught—whether directly or subversively—that dominance and control are more vital than compassion and understanding. This results in pain for not only the intended target, but for the oppressor themselves.

how to stop a bullyHurt people hurt people. Photo by yang miao on Unsplash

But just as it can be learned, bullying can be unlearned—through supportive friendships, trusted role models and maybe even professional help. People are always capable of change when given the necessary tools to do so.

Recently, a Reddit user asked former bullies (and former “mean girls,” for as we all know this is not necessarily a gender-specific phenomenon) to share what “finally brought a change.”

The answers were inspiring. They not only showed that yes, the adage is true, “hurt people hurt people,” but also that powerful transformation can happen simply by taking accountability. Many of these former bullies admitted to growing up in less-than-ideal environments and did not know any other way to cope. But eventually they were given fresh insight, and with that were better able to choose kindness.

The world might seem like a cold and uncaring place at times, but these 10 stories are a beautiful reminder that change is always possible.


Wasn't really a bully but I wasn't nice either. I…was mean to people who I thought deserved it, and it didn't help that there were also other people who were just as mean and judgmental as I was. It got to the point that I was needlessly fighting my friends and only when I was confronted about my attitude and I got to hear my friend's perspective that I shifted.

…Took a lot of time and educated myself on how to be better. Also therapy lol. Anger management, anxiety management, etc. I couldn't erase who I was and I accept that part of me. I'm not saying I'm all perfect now…I know there's still a lot of work to do, but all in all it's loads better than before. I'm glad I had the chance to grow up and get better." – @AnxiousCrownNinja

Right after high school was the turning point for me… I was having a lot of discord with my own friends due to my attitude and it took hearing their honest feedback about how my approach was alienating them for me to start doing major self reflection. I decided I didn't want people to fear me and I certainly didn't want to alienate my own friends, so I started talking less and listening more. I made an honest effort to care more about people as individuals-I got interested in the unique strengths each person brings to the table and did what I could to start learning from others. I humbled myself a lot over the years. I worked on saying I'm sorry and admitting when I was wrong. And years later I've gotten into therapy to continue to work on myself. I'll never be warm and fuzzy as that's just not my personality, but I'm a much better person than I was when I was younger.” – @Babhak

Was essentially bullied at home by my family and I took it out on those around me. Thankfully I had some friends that let me know I was being a dick and I apologized to the people I hurt, I'll always hate myself for the way I acted and I don't think that will ever change. I still catch myself being a grumbling asshole sometimes but I will never let myself be who I used to be.” – @raikonai

I got a job as a video game tester and worked with people who were bullied when they were younger. We'd tell stories and things I found funny they found traumatic and mean. As cliche as it is, I never thought about it from their perspective or thought my behavior was bullying until then. Helped me see it from the other side, I'm much more empathic now. Pretty ashamed about my behavior when I was younger.” – @GCJallDAY

When I realized I was just like my dad, and I really dislike my dad.” – @kastawamy

what cause bullying, cyberbullying

We don't have to become our parents.

Photo by Muhmed Alaa El-Bank on Unsplash

I come from a small town where families have generational feuds. It also didn't help that my family is poor and very ghetto/redneck and very racially mixed. All of my aunts and uncles and parents are some form of addict in one way or another. I didn't have a chance. I truly didn't. The kids I went to school with weren't allowed to hang out with me and my siblings. I remember going to a friend's house and their parents asked me my last name and they told me to leave once they heard it. I was severely bullied in elementary school and teachers didn't care to help because of the family I came from. I had one teacher just be vicious to me because my mom was selling her kid weed. I was pretty much feral and didn't have manners and just in general an autistic kid.

So I quickly learned that anger was the best shield. I bullied my bullies back. They can't catch you off guard if you're the attacker. I fought the people who came at my family with as much violence as they gave me. It bled onto kids who were friends with my bullies. They turned into essentially collateral damage. I was a bully but I was also the blood in the water in a school system that encouraged violence. It's taken me a long time to deal with [what] my home town put me through. I switched towns and changed my name. That helped a lot. I ended up in juvy after a giant fight with several family members. To say I was scared straight is an understatement. I was required to go to group therapy as part of the program I was put in to reform me. The judge knew my family and gave me a shot I took advantage of. He played a huge role in my mindset on my circumstance. I learned how to handle my trauma in a more productive way over the course of years and so much hard work. I ended up having to change my name so I wouldn't be harassed by cops and those who knew my family.

I'll definitely say this again—I grew up in a system where you had to do everything you could to survive. I can't really stomach what I did…I've left apologies in so many inboxes as an adult. I've even made friends with some of them.” – @beastgalblue

Over time and with new experiences, I stopped hating myself and my life. Then, I started seeing value in my existence and realized I actually impacted people. Happiness, for myself and others, became my reason for living. My middle school health teacher used to tell us that bullies are hurting and that's why they bully. Miss Costello, wherever you are, you were right. I've never met a bully who was happy with themselves or their life. I tell my students all the time that hurt people hurt people, and I stand by that. The fastest way to help a bully change is to show them love, kindness, and compassion.” – @mha3620

I was a mean girl. Cheer, popular, thought I was better than everyone else. During summer break in high school I went to camp. I was bullied by some of the other girls there so relentlessly. From hazing, to humiliating me, lying to get me in trouble. It was bad. After that I changed. Wish it was earlier.” – @lesbomommy

means girls, girl bullies

Learning from mistakes is all part of the human experience.

Photo by Scotty Turner on Unsplash

“I was one of those jocks who picks on the weaker kids who couldn’t really defend themselves, in order to make the crowd laugh…It was never anything too physical or over the top, so parents or others never got involved, but I know that I made life a pain for some individuals while in elementary school.

Anyhow, this PE teacher of mine took me into his office after hours one day and explained that I should try to use my authority better, and that while it might feel good to make others laugh on someone else's behalf, it feels a lot better to be an overall good guy.

Never really had any good male influence in my life before that, so that really stuck with me, and from high school and onward I tried to reach out and confront others in school that bullied others. Oftentimes we just don’t know better.” – @KingBob3922

I grew up in an abusive home and did it out of self-protection. Verbally hurt them before they could hurt you. I know my behavior didn’t make me popular or really make me feel better but I needed to lash out on the easiest targets. fast forward to having no friends in my mid 20 s and needed to figure out why.

I actually became friends with older coworkers [and] as a proxy parental influence they gently guided me. ‘Why would you say that to someone? Why would you say that about yourself? Why do you talk that way? Why is everything a fight? What's wrong with being different? What's wrong with making mistakes?’ No judgments, just gentle questions that I couldn't answer until I looked hard at myself.

I'm glad that someone took the time to see past my anger, my pushing people away, my misery and saw a young person that just needed some kindness.” – @OrdinaryPride8811

True


Life can be bleak, so we’re going to be celebrating the small joys while we can—whether that’s a sweet snack that boosts your mood (courtesy of our friends at All In), or a spontaneous moment between strangers that's so joyful it restores your faith in the algorithm (even if only for a second). These momentary mood boosters are everywhere you look—you just have to be able to find them underneath all the noise. And that’s where we come in.

Consider this weekly web series your cheat sheet to the best of the Internet—not just random memes to make you laugh, but examples of people truly finding something extraordinary in the mundane. Each Friday we'll be delivering five pieces of media that allow you to stop for a second, take a breath, and feel just a little bit brighter among the daily stress. (Think of us as your chronically online bestie who knows exactly how to make you smile, exactly when you need it the most.)

Ready to smile? Here we go.

1. The best travel buddy surprise 

 
 @tarareynolds03 

Surprising Grandson with going on vacation with him.

 ♬ original sound - Tara Leanne Reynolds 
 
  This sweet grandson thought he was just heading out on vacation—until he spotted a very familiar face at the airport. The moment he sees Grandma standing there, his jaw literally drops. He sets his backpack down and then runs straight into her arms for the biggest hug. "Oh my God! You're coming with us to Jamaica, right?!" he asks her, already smiling from ear to ear. It's the kind of unscripted joy that makes you want to call your own grandma to say hi—and other TikTokers are having all the feels in the comments section: "This brought me to tears," says user KE. "I would kill to go on another vacation with my grandma again. She passed in February. Take so many pictures!"

2. Saying 'thank you' to a very special teacher 

Last week, we shared a question on Upworthy’s Instagram that sparked an outpouring of heartfelt responses:
 “If you could say thank you to one person right now, who would it be, and why?”

For Kate Delisle, a teacher in North Andover, Massachusetts, the answer came instantly: her longtime colleague and teaching assistant, Jeanne Donovan.

“Jeanne has been by my side for seventeen years,” Kate shared. “Next year, we’ll have to split our program — and we won’t be working together anymore.” In her message, Kate described Jeanne as more than just a coworker. She’s supportive, empathetic, and “my right arm — someone who lights up every room she enters. I’m privileged to know her and consider her family.”

To celebrate that incredible bond, our friends at All In recently paid a surprise visit to Kate and Jeanne at their school — letting Jeanne know just how deeply appreciated she is by her colleagues and students alike. And get this: Jeanne is *so* beloved that Kate's parents, kids, sister, and husband all came to the surprise to honor her alongside everyone else. A true tear-jerker and a must-watch.

3. The proudest big brother

 
 @caylaleighbrown This is the original video, He also said it looks like Mike Wazowski after we got done crying LOL #fyp #infertility #infertilityjourney #twins #twinpregnancy #ultrasound #pregnancyafterinfertility #pregnancyannouncement #twinannouncement #twinsies #twinmom ♬ original sound - Cayla Brown ✨ WDW 
 
 

Grab your tissues for this one. After eight long years of hoping for another baby, TikTok user Cayla Lee Brown surprises her stepson Caleb with a sonogram photo—and his reaction is nothing short of beautiful. When Caleb realizes not only that he's going to be a big brother but that twin siblings are on the way, his eyes well up and he whispers "We're having twins?!" Cue the heart explosion. In a follow-up video, Cayla shares something that makes this news extra special: Caleb isn't actually her biological child, and although she considers Caleb her son she wasn't sure she'd be able to have biological children at all. "[Caleb] was my gift and I was blessed with two more," she explains. This video is the best reminder that love makes a family, and sometimes the best surprises take a little time.

4. Overly excited dogs 

 
 @puppylovestoplay6 Part23: When they hear a word they like#dog#funny#funnyanimals#funnypets#animals #dogsofttiktok #pet #foryou #longervideos#foryou#fyp #funnyvideo ♬ original sound - Puppylovestoplay 
 
 

This feel-good compilation is basically a highlight reel of dogs at their happiest: realizing they’re about to go on a walk. From excited tail wags to full-body zoomies, every pup in this video gives a masterclass in unfiltered enthusiasm. One especially clever owner even uses sign language to say “walk,” just to see if their dog picks up on it—and spoiler: the reaction is still pure chaos (the joyful kind). These dogs just know, and they are ready (read: unhinged.) Truly a reminder that the simplest things—in this case, some fresh air and a little adventure—are what spark the most joy.

5.Bunny ASMR

 
 @megancottone The way she munched down the carrot ribbon #bunnies ♬ Married Life (From "Up") - Gina Luciani 
 
 

If you've had a stressful day, allow this floofy little friend to press the reset button on your brain. TikTok creator @megancottone gives us a full 60 seconds of bunny bliss: one ridiculously adorable rabbit, some deliciously crunchy snacks, and the kind of soft background music that makes your heart rate drop in the best way. The gentle munching noises? Therapeutic. The fuzzy face and floppy ears? Instant joy. It’s like nature’s version of white noise—but cuter. Honestly, someone get this bunny a wellness podcast deal.

For even more “extra”-ordinary moments, come find us on social media (@upworthy) or on upworthy.com!

For scrumptious snacks that add an extra boost of joy to your day, be sure to check out All In. 

Canva Photos

Can outsider beavers save this dried up river?

It's not easy being a river in the desert under the best of circumstances. The ecosystem exists in a very delicate balance, allowing water sources to thrive in the harsh conditions. These water sources in otherwise extremely dry areas are vital to the survival of unique wildlife, agriculture, and even tourism as they provide fresh drinking water for the people who live nearby.

But man-made problems like climate change, over-farming, and pollution have made a tough job even tougher in some areas. Rivers in Utah and Colorado that are part of the Colorado River Basin have been barely surviving the extremely harsh drought season. When the riverbeds get too dry, fish and other aquatic creatures die off and the wildfire risk increases dramatically.

About six years ago, one team of researchers had a fascinating idea to restore the health of some of Utah's most vulnerable rivers: Bring in the beavers.

 beavers, beaver dam, animals, wildlife, ecosystem, nature, earth, sustainability, deserts, waterways, rivers, pollution, climate change Beaver in water.  Photo by Svetozar Cenisev on Unsplash  

In 2019, master's student Emma Doden and a team of researchers from Utah State University began a "translocation" project to bring displaced beavers to areas like Utah's Price River, in the hopes of bringing it back to life.

Why beavers? It just makes dam sense! (Sorry.)

Beaver dams restrict the flow of water in some areas of a river, creating ponds and wetlands. In drought-stricken areas, fish and other wildlife can take refuge in the ponds while the rest of the river runs dry, thus riding out the danger until it rains again.

When beavers are present in a watershed, the benefits are unbelievable: Better water quality, healthier fish populations, better nutrient availability, and fewer or less severe wildfires.

It's why beavers have earned the title of "keystone species," or any animal that has a disproportionate impact on the ecosystem around them.

Doden and her team took beavers who were captured or removed from their original homes due to being a "nuisance," interfering with infrastructure, or being in danger, and—after a short period of quarantine—were brought to the Price River.

Despite the research team's best efforts, not all the translocated beavers have survived or stayed put over the years. Some have trouble adapting to their new home and die off or are killed by predators, while others leave of their own accord.

But enough have stayed and built dams since 2019 that the team is starting to see the results of the effort. In fact, beaver projects just like this one have been going on all over the state in recent years.

  - YouTube  www.youtube.com  

The water levels in the river are now the healthiest they've been in years. The fish are thriving. Residents of Utah are overjoyed at the results of the experiment.

A column in The Salt Lake Tribune from 2025 (six years after the beaver translocation began) writes that the revitalization of the Price River "helped save our Utah town."

"A tributary of the Colorado River, the Price River runs through downtown Helper. On a warm day, you’re likely to find the river filled with tourists and locals kayaking, tubing and fishing along its shore. A decade ago, it was hard to imagine this scene—and the thriving recreation economy that comes with it—was possible."

Of course, it wasn't JUST the beavers. Other federal water cleanup investments helped remove debris, break down old and malfunctioning dams, and place tighter regulations on agriculture grazing in the area that depleted vital plant life.

But the experts know that the beavers, and their incredible engineering work, are the real MVPs.

 beavers, beaver dam, animals, wildlife, ecosystem, nature, earth, sustainability, deserts, waterways, rivers, pollution, climate change An actual beaver dam on the now-thriving Price RiverPublic Domain

In other drying, struggling rivers in the area, researchers are bringing in beavers and even creating manmade beaver dams. They're hoping that the critters will take over the job as the rivers get healthier.

Utah's San Rafael river, which is in bleak condition, is a prime candidate. In on area of the river, a natural flood inspired a host of beavers to return to the area and "riparian habitat along that stretch had increased by 230%, and it had the most diverse flow patterns of anywhere on the river," according to KUER.

It's hard to believe that beavers nearly went extinct during the heyday of the fur trapping industry, and continued to struggle as they were considered nuisances and pests. Now, they're getting the respect they deserve as engineer marvels, and their populations have rebounded due to better PR and conservation programs.

To that I say...it's about dam time!

Joy

Non-Americans share completely normal things in their country that would 'shock' Americans

From rollercoaster streetcars to "prison festivals," the world certainly has a lot of thrilling variety to offer.

Julio Toro/Youtube

The planet—and the people in it—are endlessly fascinating.

Think the multiverse is just for Marvel movies? Travel the world and you’ll think differently. Each country is like its own little ecosystem, with characteristics and quirks that are completely foreign to those who’ve never been there.

Upworthy has covered many stories of uniquely American quirks that have caused visitors to do a double-take, but this time, were flipping the script, thanks to a Reddit user who asked:

What’s something totally normal in your country that would shock most Americans?

Take a tour around the globe with some of our favorites below:

“On Saturday nights, there is a rollercoaster cart that drives around town, drifting, doing donuts, going super fast while playing music. It’s the shape of a worm so they call it 'El Gusanito.’ It picks people up like every other block and it costs 25 cents to ride. There are no limits to how many people get on per cart. I even saw a stray dog catch a ride once. It’s so unsafe but super fun.” —Ecuador

  - YouTube  www.youtube.com  

“When people die, we put up little posters - printed obituaries - on the walls of buildings all around town and close to places the person liked to frequent. They have a little picture of the person, their date of birth and death, and a message of mourning from the family.”—Bulgaria

“It’s totally normal to sit naked in a sauna with your coworkers after work. Anywhere else that’s an HR panic button.” —Finland

 ask reddit, travel, non-americans, americans, culture, comparing cultures, japan, finland, germany, canada, spain Not just coworkers—family, friends, strangers, kids… media2.giphy.com  

“Having to pay for public restrooms.” —France 

 ask reddit, travel, non-americans, americans, culture, comparing cultures, japan, finland, germany, canada, spain Imagine having to go so badly but being out of euros.  parisjetaime.com  

“Walking around in public in bare feet. Very common to see supermarket shoppers and such with no shoes on, and no it’s not a class thing, all kinds of people do it. Not beating the hobbit allegations I guess.” -New Zealand

 ask reddit, travel, non-americans, americans, culture, comparing cultures, japan, finland, germany, canada, spain Anything hobbit-esque can't be wrong. Photo credit: Canva

“The whole bagged milk thing seems to really freak them out.” —Canada

  - YouTube  www.youtube.com  

“Our pharmacies only sell medicine, no snacks, makeup or random stuff. First time I visited the US I thought I was in the wrong store.” —Germany

 ask reddit, travel, non-americans, americans, culture, comparing cultures, japan, finland, germany, canada, spain But what if you need pain meds AND mascara?!Photo credit: Canva

“Taking your shoes off to go inside of schools.” —Japan

@lindokorchi

Here’s the rule for taking off your shoes in Japan. #lifeinjapan #japanlife #japantravel #japan🇯🇵 #livingabroad #japanesehouse

“Whole family lives together indefinitely. In a home the size that would fit a starter family in America, they have their grandparents, aunts, uncles, etc. and they all take care of each other.” —Spain

 ask reddit, travel, non-americans, americans, culture, comparing cultures, japan, finland, germany, canada, spain Imagine how this would affect childcare.Photo credit: Canva

“A man walking along a street with a massive machete is no cause for alarm and wouldn't even get an eye raise.” —Jamaica

  - YouTube  www.youtube.com  

“Prisoners make food, furniture, and other goods that you can buy at ‘prison festivals’ they hold outside the prisons themselves. These festivals have a variety of attractions and are popular with families and children” —Japan

"Boyfriends and girlfriends (or partners) sleeping together at each other's houses from about age 14-15 yrs old. Parents would rather have this than kids sneaking around and getting into bad situations.” —Denmark

And last but not least…

“Anything without rice is just a snack no matter how big the portion is.” —Philippines

 ask reddit, travel, non-americans, americans, culture, comparing cultures, japan, finland, germany, canada, spain Honestly…where's the lie? media0.giphy.com  

A woman in black long sleeve shirt stands in front of mirror.

Have you ever had that friend who goes on vacation for four days to London and comes back with a full-on Queen's English posh accent? "Oooh I left my brolly in the loo," they say, and you respond, "But you're from Colorado!" Well, there are reasons they (and many of us) do that, and usually it's on a pretty subconscious level.

It's called "accent mirroring," and it's actually quite common with people who are neurodivergent, particularly those with ADHD (Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder). According Neurolaunch, the self-described "Free Mental Health Library," "Accent mirroring, also known as accent adaptation or phonetic convergence, is the tendency to unconsciously adopt the accent or speech patterns of those around us. This linguistic chameleon effect is not unique to individuals with ADHD, but it appears to be more pronounced and frequent in this population."

Chameleon, science, reptile, adaptation, mirroringA chameleon rolls its eyes. Giphy SWR Kindernetz

Essentially, when people have conversations, we're constantly "scanning" for information—not just the words we're absorbing, but the inflection and tone. "When we hear an accent, our brains automatically analyze and categorize the phonetic features, prosody, and intonation patterns," writes Neurolaunch. For most, this does result in copying the accent of the person with whom we're speaking. But those with ADHD might be more sensitive to auditory cues. This, "coupled with a reduced ability to filter out or inhibit the impulse to mimic…could potentially explain the increased tendency for accent mirroring."

While the article explains further research is needed, they distinctly state that, "Accent mirroring in individuals with ADHD often manifests as an unconscious mimicry of accents in social situations. This can range from subtle shifts in pronunciation to more noticeable changes in intonation and speech rhythm. For example, a person with ADHD might find themselves unconsciously adopting a Southern drawl when conversing with someone from Texas, even if they’ve never lived in the South themselves."

Sam Elliott, cowboy, southern accentsSam Elliott gives a tip of his cowboy hat. Giphy, Sam Elliott, Grit TV

People are having their say online. On the subreddit r/ADHDWomen, a thread began: "Taking on accents is an ADHD thing?" The OP shares, "My whole life, I've picked up accents. I, myself, never noticed, but everyone around me would be like, 'Why are you talking like that??' It could be after I watched a show or movie with an accent or after I've traveled somewhere with a different accent than my 'normal.'

They continue, "Apparently, I pick it up fast, but it fades out slowly. Today... I'm scrolling Instagram, I watch a reel from a comedian couple (Darcy and Jeremy. IYKYK) about how Darcy (ADHD) picks up accents everywhere they go. It's called ADHD Mirroring??? And it's another way of masking."

(The OP is referring to Darcy Michaels and his husband Jeremy Baer, who are both touring comedians based in Canada.)

Hundreds of people on the Reddit thread alone seem to relate. One comments, "Omfg I've done this my whole life; I'll even pick up on the pauses/spaces when I'm talking to someone who is ESL—but English is my first language lol."

Sometimes, it can be a real issue for those around the chameleon. "I accidentally mimicked a waitress's weird laugh one time. As soon as she was out of earshot, my family started to reprimand me, but I was already like 'oh my god I don’t know why I did that, I feel so bad.'"

@theweirdocoach

Anyone else? #adhdawareness #adhdinwomen #neurodivergent


Many commenters on TikTok were shocked to find out this can be a sign of ADHD. One jokes, "Omg, yes, at a store the cashier was talking to me and she was French. She's like 'Oh are you French too? No, I'm not lol. I'm very east coast Canada."

And some people just embrace it and make it work for them. "I mirror their words or phrase! I’m 30. I realized I start calling everyone sweetie cause my manager does & I work at coffee shop."

Thích Nhật in 2014.

There are times when it seems no words can soothe the sadness following the death of a loved one. Whether you're a child just discovering grief or a fully grown adult with years of trials and tribulations behind you, grief can sneak up and feel insurmountable.

Buddhist monk Thích Nhất Hạnh was a spiritual leader and Zen philosopher, whom many referred to as "the father of mindfulness." Coining the idea of "Engaged Buddhism," his aim was to turn the concept of reflection into action.

From Harvard.edu: "Some observers may associate Buddhism, and especially Buddhist meditation, with turning inward away from the world. However, many argue that the Buddhist tradition, with its emphasis on seeing clearly into the nature of suffering and, thus, cultivating compassion, has a strong impetus for active involvement in the world’s struggles. This activist stream of Buddhism came to be called 'Engaged Buddhism'—Buddhism energetically engaged with social concerns."

 Buddha, Buddha statue, Plum Village, Engaged Buddhism, Th\u00edch Nh\u1ea5t H\u1ea1nh A brown buddha statue sits near a green mountain.  Photo by abhijeet gourav on Unsplash  

Hạnh spent the entirety of his life meditating on and writing about nonviolent conflict resolution, love, death, compassion, and mindfulness—and then urging people around the world to take action to make impactful change. He connected people of all faiths through his writing, teaching engagements, and the founding of the Plum Village Monastery in the Dordogne, southern France near the city of Bordeaux. In all he did, Hạnh worked with the intent to encourage people to seek both inner and outer peace.

Proving he was also a powerful poet, in an Instagram reel making the rounds, Hạnh was once asked by a child how she can "stop being sad." In the video she says, "I had a doggy. And this doggy died and I was very sad." She turns to him, "So I don't know how to be not so sad." Gently, he responds, "Suppose you look up into the sky and you see a beautiful cloud. And you like the cloud so much."

The child looks at him intently, her eyes welling up with tears. He continues, "And suddenly the cloud is no longer there. And you think that the cloud has passed away. Where is my beloved cloud now? So if you have time to reflect, to look, you see that the cloud has not died. It has not passed away. The cloud has become the rain. And when you look at the rain, you see your cloud."

Her eyes remain bright with curiosity, as he says, "And when you drink your tea, mindfully, you can see the rain in your tea and you can see your cloud in your tea. And you can say, 'Hello, my cloud. I know you have not died. You are still alive in a new form.' So the doggy is the same. And if you look very deeply, you can see doggy in its new form."

The girl starts laughing and crying in what seems to be a very pure moment of understanding. "You are still alive in a new form" seemed to help transform her thoughts on change and death in just minutes.

Aubert Bastiat (@aubertbastiat) posted the Instagram clip, which is a snippet from the documentary Walk with Me about Thích Nhất Hạnh's teachings. Bastiat comments, in his own words, "Love doesn’t vanish, it simply transforms." This concept is backed up in much of Hanh's work, including his book, No Death, No Fear: Comforting Wisdom for Life, in which he wrote, "Birth and death are only a door through which we go in and out. Birth and death are only a game of hide-and-seek. So smile to me and take my hand and wave good-bye. Tomorrow we shall meet again or even before."

  Thích Nhất Hạnh, Buddhism, death, Buddhist monk  www.youtube.com, Plum Village  

And just under the first comment on the reel, the director of the documentary, Marc J. Francis, writes, "I shot this for my film Walk With Me…. Love seeing this scene being shared."

Something about the deep need to make sense of death spawned many vulnerable comments. People shared their heartfelt stories—from those who have lost someone recently to those who are sick and facing their own mortality.

And of Thích Nhất Hạnh himself, a commenter simply writes, "One of my life’s best teachers."

Health

Doctors are surprised by unexpected stowaway during routine colonoscopy: a ladybug.

It was probably ensuring good luck for the unsuspecting patient.

Doctors are surprised by unexpected stowaway during colonoscopy

Getting a colonoscopy is not something anyone looks forward to doing. You have to spend three days prepping for the procedure which includes drinking a "bowel preparation solution." That's just a fancy way of saying "taking an extremely powerful laxative that will have you lying on the bathroom floor too afraid to move because you finally expelled the gum you swallowed in third grade."

Doctors and their fancy words to describe gross things, am I right? But hey, everybody poops. There's even a book about it for parents to read to toddlers who are potty training. The purpose of spending two days counting the tiles your sweat drips onto in the bathroom is to clean out your colon before doctors insert a camera to look for polyps, cancer, and other medical conditions. But when a patient went in for their appointment, doctors discovered something they didn't expect to find: a stowaway that had, somehow, survived the tsunami of poo.

The patient was a 59 year old man who was being seen for a routine colonoscopy, the procedure where they take a small camera equipped with a light and send it up to traverse the colon and large intestine. It's a procedure that becomes part of a full preventative workup once you reach the age of 45 if you're at average risk for colon cancer according to MD Anderson Cancer Center (though doctors are now recommending colonoscopy screenings begin sooner due to rising cases of colon cancer in young people according to the Cancer Research Institute).

 colonoscopy ladybug; ladybug; colonoscopy surprises; bug during colonoscopy; colonoscopy prep Urgent dash to the bathroom! 🚪🏃♂️Photo credit: Canva

When the camera rounded the bend, it caught a clear sight of a perfectly intact ladybug who, despite the likely terror it experienced, was still alive.

The findings of the patient's friendly colon passenger was reported in the 2019 ACG Case Reports Journal complete with pictures of the spotted little fella just hanging out inside a human cavity. While the doctors have no way of determining how the ladybug wound up inside the man's body, they believe it was likely swallowed accidentally and escaped the wing destroying stomach acid due to the bowel preparation solution speeding up the process. The ladybug likely felt like it was on a weird waterslide or, if it's seen The Magic School Bus, it might have assumed Mrs. Frizzle had something to do with its unexpected adventure.

 colonoscopy ladybug; ladybug; colonoscopy surprises; bug during colonoscopy; colonoscopy prep Ladybug unexpectedly found during colonoscopyPhoto credit: The American College of Gastroenterology

“The patient's colonoscopy preparation was 1 gallon of polyethylene glycol the evening before colonoscopy, and the colonoscopy examination was otherwise normal,” the authors of the journal write. “His colonoscopy preparation may have helped the bug to escape from digestive enzymes in the stomach and upper small intestine.”

If you're going to have a bug hang out in your poop chute, a ladybug is likely the preferred unexpected guest. Gastrointestinal specialist Dr. Keith Siau likes to share the things he and his colleagues have found inside patients and a ladybug is probably the least gross option for critters. He's found ants, cockroaches, and bees (yes, bees that help pollinate flowers and sting people who disturb their important business).

 colonoscopy ladybug; ladybug; colonoscopy surprises; bug during colonoscopy; colonoscopy prep Close-up of bottom of ladybug found in colonPhoto credit: The American College of Gastroenterology

People cannot get over doctors finding bugs in people's colons during colonoscopies, while others have jokes about the random bugs found inside people. One person writes, "Oh, that’s just the magic school bus. They transformed into a lady bug for the field trip."

"Don’t take it out until you play the power ball," another says.

"Taking the title of invasive species a little far," somebody jokes.

 

"So I already worry about bugs getting into my ears, now I gotta worry about bugs up my butt? I hate it here," another cries.

"I’ve always had a fear of ingesting a bug or parasite and them finding it one day. I know that’s crazy but I think about it often. Seeing this affirmed my fear of the unknown," someone else shares.

"I could have gladly lived the rest of my life without knowing this." one person writes.

Well, if you're due for your routine colonoscopy here's hoping they don't find any unauthorized critters and you get a clean bill of health.