A shark and a woman being bullied.
When people talk about bullying, it is usually centered around the schoolyard type: the kid who comes around and tries to steal another child’s lunch money or calls people names to humiliate them in front of other students. You know, Nelson Muntz from The Simpsons.
However, as people become adults, they still come across bullying, although it can be a bit more subtle. It’s the boss who puts you down in meetings, the mother-in-law who constantly critiques you, or the one friend who controls the group chat and puts you down whenever your friend group gets together.
In the old days, your parents might tell you to fight back against the bully, but in the adult world—especially in your professional life—you can’t fight back the way you could in the schoolyard. That’s where @Mewmewsha, a TikToker who provides people with "Older Sister" advice, comes in. She has a brilliant shark metaphor to explain how to deal with bullies.
Warning: Video contains strong language.
@mewmewsha Here’s how to deal with ANYONE who tries to push you around, bully you, and make you feel small
How to deal with a bully
According to @Mewmewsha, bullies are incredibly insecure people; that’s why they pick on other people. “They're the most vulnerable person in the room. It doesn't take much to crush them. That's their biggest insecurity, and they desperately don't want anyone to figure that out,” she says. The good news, she says, is that “you don’t need to fight them,” just tell them to screw off.
@mewmewsha says that when you’re dealing with a bully, you need to think of them as sharks. “They're big, they're scary, and they attack you when you're minding your business. When a shark is coming at you, you don't swim away, you don't make a big splash, and you don't try to fight. "Your only option is to redirect them,” she says. "One firm nudge to let them know, ’Hey, what you're looking for ain't here.’”
A shark hunting for food.via Canva/Photos
But where do you nudge the bully? On a shark, you hit them right in the snout, that’s their most vulnerable place. On a bully, it’s calling out their insecurities. She says that you don’t cower to the bully, you look them right in the eye and say this: “Listen, obviously you need everyone to look at me so that no one looks too closely at you. Cause if they did, what would they see? What are you so worried people are gonna notice? Cause the more you keep coming for me, the more obvious it is. So f**k off and find someone else to bother.”
This also comes with a warning: Before telling a bully off, make sure that you are in a safe situation to do so.
Why do people act like bullies?
@mewmewsha may not be a psychologist or a therapist, but she is spot on when it comes to diagnosing why people are bullies. According to an article medically reviewed by Julie Dodson, MA, LCSW, and Melissa Guarnaccia, LCSW of Better Help: “Bullies may have low self-esteem and try to boost their self-worth by putting others down.”
A woman speaking with her therapist.via Canva/Photos
They add that one of the best ways to stop someone from bullying you is to show that you are “confident” and that their tactics are not working. “Because the person who bullies may already be self-conscious, they are likely to become angry as you become more empowered,” they write. “Eventually, they may be forced to give up once you show them that you are not going to allow their behavior to impact you.”
The good news about the advice from @mewmewsha and the therapists at Better Help is that if you are being bullied, there is hope. The key is to understand that a bully, much like a shark, may be intimidating, but they have a weak spot, and if you can use that to your advantage, you can stop the bullying altogether.
How exactly is squatting not trespassing? It's complicated, for some reason. 
Two people walking outside. 
Before nature upgrade.@whelandesignhouse/
After nature upgrade.@whelandesignhouse/