You don’t have to wait for an apology to forgive someone who hurt you
Forgiveness is hard for most of us, but it’s harder for some than others. When we’ve been harmed in some way—physically, emotionally, or both—we tend to carry the pain around with us. Anger and resentment are natural responses to being hurt, of course, and the longer or more severe the wounding, the more likely we…
Forgiveness is hard for most of us, but it’s harder for some than others. When we’ve been harmed in some way—physically, emotionally, or both—we tend to carry the pain around with us. Anger and resentment are natural responses to being hurt, of course, and the longer or more severe the wounding, the more likely we are to feel those feelings long-term.
What we usually want—or think we want—is for the person who did the hurting to acknowledge our pain. We want them to fully understand what we feel, to know the impact of their words or actions. And we want an apology as proof that the person not only get, but also regrets, what they’ve said or done to us.
Some of us will hold onto our anger and resentment indefinitely, waiting for that all-important apology to come before we even consider the idea of forgiveness. But if we value our own well-being, we may want to rethink that order.
You don’t have to wait for an apology—or even an acknowledgement—in order to forgive. And in fact, we shouldn’t.
To fully understand why that is, we need to understand what forgiveness actually is. And in order to understand what forgiveness is, it’s helpful to clarify what it isn’t. Forgiving someone is not the same as making up with them. Forgiveness is not reconciliation. Forgiveness doesn’t require justice to be done or apologies to be offered.
Forgiveness isn’t an external action, but rather an internal state of letting go of anger and resentment. It’s saying, “I’m no longer going to allow you and the hurt you’ve caused me keep me in a state of unhappiness.” It’s something you do for yourself, not for the person who hurt you.
Think about it. Who is that anger and resentment hurting the most? Who is having their life disrupted by it? Who is having to deal with it day in and day out? You, right? Not the person who hurt you. You.
And there are real physical effects of holding onto those emotions. “There is an enormous physical burden to being hurt and disappointed,” says Karen Swartz, M.D., director of the Mood Disorders Adult Consultation Clinic at The Johns Hopkins Hospital. Chronic anger impacts your heart rate, blood pressure, and immune system, which increases your risk of chronic disease. Forgiveness has the opposite effect.
And it doesn’t mean just saying that you forgive the person. Again, forgiveness is an internal act of releasing anger, frustration, disappointment, and resentment. “It is an active process in which you make a conscious decision to let go of negative feelings whether the person deserves it or not,” Swartz says.
That’s why an apology isn’t necessary in order to practice forgiveness. We have to let go of the idea that forgiveness means telling someone what they did is okay or that they are somehow being let off the hook. It doesn’t. It means telling yourself that whatever the person did to you isn’t going to keep you in a state of bitterness. It’s making the choice to stop allowing your own anger to keep hurting you.
Sometimes forgiveness can lead to empathy and compassion for the person who hurt you, but it doesn’t have to. Some kinds of harm are impossible to empathize with, but that doesn’t mean they make forgiveness impossible. There are some incredible stories of people forgiving perpetrators of terrible atrocities, like the genocide in Rwanda, not because those things were forgotten or justified but because holding onto resentment and anger only punishes the victim of harm, not the perpetrator.
So if you’ve been waiting on an apology, try forgiveness first. While it’s easier said than done, letting go can be incredibly freeing, and good for both your mental and physical health.
From Pakistan to Tanzania, the most effective education solutions are community-led. Here’s how local leaders, in partnership with Malala Fund and supported by Pura, are mobilizing entire communities.
When asked to describe what Tanzania smells like, Grace Isekore closes her eyes and breathes in deep. For a moment, she’s somewhere else entirely. Tanzania is a rich tapestry of sights and scents, from the smell of sea mist that permeates the coastline to the earthy cardamom and cloves she cooks with in her kitchen. But when Grace emerges from her reverie, her answer is unexpected.
“Tanzania smells like peace,” she says, her eyes still closed. “I see a beautiful country where we are free to move, free to speak. And there is peace within the community.”
For Grace, that sense of peace isn’t just something she smells; it’s something she works toward every day. As a project coordinator with Pastoral Women’s Council (PWC), a women-led organization that empowers pastoralist communities in northern Tanzania, she has seen firsthand how girls flourish when they have the opportunity to attend school. Like scent, education not only connects girls to their own culture, but also helps broaden their horizons, realizing new possibilities for themselves and others. That transformation reshapes entire communities and ripples outward, with the potential to change countries and transform the world for the better.
Different scents, different approaches, and communities driving change
Spices in Tanzania. Captured by James Roh for Pura
For Grace and others around the world, education is freedom, as well as a pathway to a stronger community. Rooted in that shared belief, Pura, a home fragrance company, was inspired to build on their four-year partnership with Malala Fund to create something truly unique: a fragrance collection that connects people through scent to communities in Tanzania, Nigeria, Pakistan, and Brazil, where barriers to girls’ education are among the highest.
Using ingredients from each region, the new Pura x Malala Fund Collection uses scent to transport people to these regions directly. “Future in Bloom,” for example, invokes Pakistan’s lush valleys through notes of jasmine, cedarwood, and mango; while Tanzania’s fragrance, “Heart on Fire,” evokes the spirit and joyfulness of the girls who live there through cardamom, lemon, and green tea.
The new Collection honors the work Malala Fund does every day, partnering with locally-led organizations in these four countries to ensure every girl can access and complete 12 years of education. Each scent celebrates the joy, tenacity, and courage of the women and girls driving change on the ground, while also augmenting Pura’s annual grant to Malala Fund by donating eight percent of net revenue from the Pura x Malala Fund Collection to Malala Fund directly.
Just as each country’s scent is unique, so too are their needs related to education. But with support from Malala Fund and Pura, local leaders are coming up with creative ways to mobilize entire communities (parents, teachers, elders, and the students themselves, in their pursuit of solutions, understanding that educating girls helps everyone thrive. Here’s how their efforts are creating real, durable impact in Tanzania and Pakistan, and creating a ripple effect that changes the world for the better.
Parent-teacher associations help Maasai girls and their communities in Tanzania problem-solve
A girl’s school in Tanzania. Captured by James Roh for Pura
Northern Tanzania, Grace’s home, is home to pastoralist communities like the Maasai, a nomadic people who have moved with the seasons to nurture the land and care for their livestock for centuries. The nomadic nature of this lifestyle creates significant and unique barriers to girls’ education. Longstanding gender roles have enabled Maasai to survive in the harsh environment and have placed great value on both women and men. Over time, as nomadic life has been threatened by the privatization of land and stationary education models have been implemented, the reality of pastoralist livelihood has shifted and introduced new complexities. Now, the sheer distance to schools is both a practical challenge and one that often comes with danger from the landscape, predators, and potential exposure to assault along the journey. Girls shoulder the responsibility of household chores and there is often cultural pressure around early marriage – both leading to boys’ education being prioritized over girls’.
“There are very, very good [pastoralist] cultural practices, which are passed from generation to generation,” says Janet Kimori, an English teacher at Lekule Girls Secondary School in Longido, Tanzania. But when cultural practices act as educational barriers, “you have to sit down and look for where you are going to assist. As a school, as an individual, the school administration—all of us will chip in and know how we are going to deal with this problem.”
PWC works to ensure girls are able to exercise their right to an education while also preserving pastoralist culture. One successful approach, the organization found, has been the formation of Parent Teacher Associations (PTAs), created with help from Malala Fund. In PTA meetings, students, parents, teachers, elders, and government officials meet, discuss educational barriers, and come up with community-led solutions that preserve and honor their culture while advancing educational outcomes.
PTA meeting in Tanzania. Captured by James Roh for Pura
One recent PTA meeting highlights how these community-led solutions are often the most effective. At Lekule Girls Secondary School, the lack of fresh water forces girls to walk long distances to collect water for the school’s kitchen during the school day, and these long journeys not only disrupt class time but can leave girls vulnerable to sexual assault in isolated areas. Through facilitated discussion, PTA members landed on a solution: installing a borehole to pipe in fresh water to the school. Reliable access to water creates a better learning environment for the girls, but it also benefits the community at large, as local governments are then more likely to invest in health clinics and other community resources nearby.
With a solution in place, the PTA was then able to discuss ideas and map out a course of action. The women would raise money for the cost of the borehole, while the men would recruit workers to dig the hole and lay the pipe. Together, they would ask government officials to match their investment.
The benefits of PTA meetings within the pastoralist communities are undeniable. “The girls are talking and addressing issues in a confident way, and parents feel they are part of the resource team to solve challenges happening at school,” Grace says. One unexpected benefit: The larger cultural impact these PTA meetings have created. Thanks to the success of PTAs within pastoralist communities, the models are now being endorsed on a national level, and schools across Tanzania are starting to use them to solve problems in their own communities. When a community creates opportunities for girls to learn, everyone benefits.
Safe spaces in rural Pakistan help students and their parents connect, then drive change
Safe space for girls meeting in Pakistan. Captured by Insiya Syed.
A continent away in Pakistan, the country’s northernmost region of Gilgit-Baltistan seems like a land untouched by time. The region’s looming mountains, snow-capped peaks, lush valleys and crystalline lakes draw nature lovers and landscape photographers from around the world, but living among this kind of breathtaking scenery has its drawbacks. Schools in the region are few and far between, and the area’s harsh climate often makes roads inaccessible for travel. Poverty and gender-based discrimination are additional obstacles, making school even further out of reach, and girls are affected disproportionately. Going up against these barriers requires a persistent, quiet strength that’s found in the women who live there and reflected in Pakistan’s signature scent.
Saheli Circles are how local leaders in Gilgit-Baltistan are bridging the gap between girls and education. An Urdu term for “female friend,” Saheli Circles are after-school safe spaces where girls explore subjects like art and climate change, while also developing skills that help them manage emotions, set goals, and build positive relationships. Girls study in groups, visit the library, play sports, and tackle filmmaking and photography projects, all designed to develop self confidence and teach the girls how to advocate for issues that matter to them. But the work doesn’t stop there.
“What we’re trying to achieve here will only be impactful if it trickles down to the home environment and the school environment,” says Marvi Sumro, founder and program director of Innovate, Educate, and Inspire Pakistan (IEI), the local organization that developed the Saheli Circles model and partnered with Malala Fund in 2021 to make it a reality. Ever since, Saheli Circles have grown to involve teachers, elders, and parents to encourage relationship building that’s essential for young girls and adolescents. “Our spaces can give mothers and daughters an opportunity to interact a little differently—do an art activity, or have a cup of tea together, or some good conversation,” Marvi says.
The relationship building is what makes the biggest positive impact throughout the community. Recently, one Saheli Circle was able to bring together parents, teachers, and administrators to advocate for better education at their local school, and together they convinced the department of education to hire a science teacher. Another Saheli Circle organized a fund where members of the community can contribute monthly to pay for uniforms, books, and other school expenses for the girls in their village, eliminating those small, hidden costs that are often a barrier to education for many. A third Saheli Circle was able to produce a short film about how gender-based household chores can take away valuable study time from girls, leaving them at a disadvantage. “The girls put the film together and showed it to the mothers, and the response from the mothers was just beautiful,” Marvi says.
Girls smiling in Pakistan. Captured by Insiya Syed.
The education and relationship building that the girls receive in Saheli Circles connects them to larger opportunities and economic freedom that are not possible in their hometown. “For girls in Gilgit-Baltistan, education is extremely important because of the fact that we’re so far away from where the economy is, where the opportunity is. Education becomes this bridge for us, for our girls, to access all the opportunity and economy that exists in [larger cities].”
From rural Tanzania to remote Pakistan, local organizations prove every day that prioritizing girls’ education benefits everyone. Communities that lift up girls are able to secure resources like clean water and well-staffed schools, as well as build stronger relationships.
These outcomes are only possible because of the women and girls who work tirelessly in these regions to overcome barriers and drive progress. The Pura x Malala Fund Collection is a way to honor them, celebrate their achievements, and unite people the world over around a shared belief that education is freedom. Like scent, that belief can build, travel, and has the possibility to transform the world.
Experience the Pura x Malala Fund Collection here, and connect with the stories of real girls leading change across the globe.
Onion rings are a staple fast-food item. Yet you’re unlikely to find them at McDonald’s, one of the most recognizable fast-food chains in the world.
However, once upon a time, Mickey D’s did experiment with its own version of the side item, and it’s easy to see why the idea was short-lived.
It was the 1970s, and by then, allegedly thanks to a Texas-based drive-in restaurant called The Pig Stand, onion rings were already a popular fast-food item. However, McDonald’s’ entire brand is centered around efficiency and profit, and compared to fries, onion rings would have been more time-consuming to make and less cost-effective.
Enter: Onion Nuggets
Photo credit: Wiki.com – A vintage ad for McDonald's Onion Nuggets.
According to Mental Floss, the rather baffling idea came from Rene Arend, McDonald’s first executive chef, who would later develop the somewhat controversial McRib. And get this: they actually predate chicken nuggets.
Rather than cutting onions into thin rings, food workers would batter and deep-fry onion bits. However, it soon became clear that customers, especially children, didn’t enjoy this particular vegetable-to-batter ratio. You can almost picture the confusion at the counter: someone opens the box expecting a familiar crispy ring and instead finds a pile of tiny fried onion clusters. Technically accurate, sure. Emotionally satisfying? Eh, that’s another story.
But Arend was then instructed to apply the concept to a chicken-based product, and voilà—the Chicken McNugget was born, and we were never the same. So you could say onion nuggets walked so chicken nuggets could run!
Interestingly, McDonald’s could take Burger King’s approach, which essentially makes “rings” out of minced onions. According to Tasting Table, “The goal isn’t to recreate the diner-style onion ring, but to offer a salty, crunchy side that’s cheap, uniform, and easy to churn out by the millions.” However, some have criticized this recipe as more like “tiny onion flavored doughnuts.” Honestly, not seeing the problem there.
There have been far worse mess-ups
And when you think about McDonald’s’ long history of bizarre menu failures, including the 1960s Hula Burger (a pineapple slice with cheese), McSpaghetti, and Seinfeld-inspired Muffin Toppers, deep-fried onion bits don’t sound too strange. Some folks are even nostalgic about it and would love to see its glorious return. While the odds are never zero, they are quite low.
That’s not to say the restaurant won’t ever sell proper onion rings. But Mike Haracz, a former McDonald’s manager of culinary innovation, explains in a TikTok video that they would likely only ever be a “limited-time offer” so as not to compete with their “over-the-top profitable” French fries.
If you’re jonesing for some McDonald’s onion rings, they’re occasionally served in places outside the United States, such as Turkey, Greece, Israel, and even Australia. Just as Haracz predicted, they’re limited-time items.
We can probably all agree that if any menu item deserves a comeback, it’s the Apple Fritter.
As the music began, no one knew what the apparatus made of poles and bars surrounding the dancers was for. But it soon became apparent that they would use it to lift themselves off the ground. What started with a simple pull-up, however, turned into an incredible synchronized dance to Justin Bieber’s “Where Are U Now” in which the dancers synchronized their movements without their feet even touching the ground.
AIRFOOTWORKS dancing to Justin Bieber on AGT
The dancers, who hail from Japan, were mentored by Kenichi Ebina, who won AGT Season 8 in 2013. Their performance earned them a standing ovation from all four judges and the audience.
“Everything about the performance was perfect,” said judge Sofia Vergara.
“It was so creative and so different—and so difficult, by the way,” said judge Simon Cowell. “So you have a great mentor. However, even if you’ve got a great mentor, you’ve still got to be able to do what your mentor helps you to do. And you did it immaculately.”
AGT fans agree with the judges
People in the comments were equally blown away.
“How do people find out they have talents like this??? ✋ “
“My toxic trait is thinking I can do this without any difficulty .”
“Insane core strength.”
“OBSESSED with this audition.”
“What kind of core strength is this… flawless, “
Many people were disappointed that none of the judges hit the Golden Buzzer.
“Why no Golden Buzzer?!?!?! If I’ve seen any act more deserving of it, I can’t recall. These guys were AWESOME!!!!!!!”
“Did they run out of golden buzzers? This is worthy.”
“THEY DESERVED THE GOLDEN BUZZER!”
“This performance absolutely deserved a golden buzzer. It was just spectacular.”
“Can only assume all the judges were so enthralled and mesmerized by this performance they forgot there was a golden buzzer.”
The ‘Golden’ performance
AIRFOOTWORKS did, in fact, earn a Golden Buzzer from Howie Mandel during the Quarterfinals sending them directly to the finale, where the group performed to an EDM mix by Steve Aoki. While they didn’t receive enough votes to win the entire competition, they have certainly earned AGT royalty status.
Since their AGT run, AIRFOOTWORKS have continued to take the world stage – reaching the finals of talent competitions in France and Italy, and performing at the Royal Variety Performance in the UK.
For more talent auditions, you can follow America’s Got Talent on YouTube and TikTok.
This article originally appeared 2 years ago. It has been updated.
Halloween has come a long way since the 70s and 80s, when Gen X kids donned the worst mass-produced costumes known to man to go out and ask strangers for candy that we were sure was laced with poison or razor blades. Those sure were good times, though, weren’t they? Social media creator Kelly Manno shared a video describing what Halloween was like for kids who grew up in “the forgotten generation,” and holy moly is it accurate.
First, Manno showed a photo of someone dressed in an “80s costume” for Halloween, with neon colors, legwarmers and big hair, and said, “Absolutely nobody looked like that in the 80s, especially on Halloween. We looked like this.”
Then she showed a grainy photo of kids in the plastic masks and poorly printed costumes that were the hallmark of the age.
“Every single member of Gen X can smell this photo,” she said. “It’s like a vinyl, like plasticky paint smell.”
Manno explained that our parents only took a few photos of us per year, and Halloween was always one of them.
“You knew, before you went out trick-or-treating, that you had to line up with your cousins in front of the fireplace, in your highly flammable costumes, with your mom chain-smoking Virginia Slims.”
How about those masks
Oh, those masks were the worst inventions ever. The eyeholes never lined up properly, so you were constantly trying to adjust them to be able to see even a little bit.
“We would push our tongue through the slit in the mask. It would cut our tongue, but then we’d keep doing it again because we were eaten up with OCD and ADD and nobody cared.”
Then Manno described the “garbage bag costumes” we had, which were basically trash bags printed with whatever character it was supposed to be. So janky. So sweaty. So crinkly when we walked. But somehow still socially preferable to your mom making your costume from scratch.
“Look at us, we were terrifying,” Manno concludes. “No wonder people tried to poison us.”
A stroll down ‘That actually happened’ lane
Her descriptions of what it felt like to trick-or-treat in those costumes and haul our own bodyweight in candy are spot on, and people who lived it are feeling the nostalgia.
“So much truth in one video! I just saw, heard, and smelled my childhood.”
“You are literally making me laugh so damn hard, cause you described it exactly as it was, but my mom smoked Winston’s!”
“It was always freezing on Halloween that the vinyl/plastic suit would crack and tear halfway through the night.”
“Or the rubber band breaking at the second house and you had to hold it up on your face at the door the rest of the night. Good times.”
“The tongue thing is on point. I can still feel it. “
“I can totally smell that picture lol. I remember the steam from inside the mask would have your lashes and eyebrows covered in dew then after a couple streets of running house to house the crotch would tear out. We would stay out until everybody turned their lights off and the pillow case was full.”
“Yes!!!! And we used a pillow case for our candy. And no adult supervision.”
“My mom made me really nice homemade costumes, but I remember begging for the plastic Strawberry Shortcake garbage bag one. So, she bought it for me one year. That was a terrible, sweaty experience. “
“Let’s not forget having to inspect every piece of candy for razor blades. I swear I lost half my haul to my father in that clean up. “
Kids these days have no idea, with their official city trick-or-treat hours and their parents walking around with them and their costumes that actually look like the thing they’re trying to be. The 70s and 80s were a wild time, and as funny as it is to reminisce about those Halloweens of old, most of us would agree that the experience has been much improved for our own kids.
Pillowcases still make the best trick-or-treat bags, though. Some things do not change.
This article originally appeared 2 years ago. It has been updated.
If you’re a Gen X-er or a Millennial, ask yourself how many Jennifers did you grow up with? How about Brians? Stephanies, maybe? It seems like it might be time for those baby names favored in the ’70s and early ’80s to make a comeback.
After all, like most things in the world, the popularity of names is cyclical. Once something reaches its height of popularity, the pendulum swings back into another era. But if given enough time, all pendulums will pop right back with force, and everything Gen X will be “now” again.
In a recent article for The Every Mom, Senior Editor Kathy Sisson mentions the “100 year rule for baby names.” The theory goes that names re-circulate every century, and perhaps that’s now why there seems to be a resurgence of “vintage” names from the 1920s. (Think Hazel, Arthur and Evelyn.) She adds this fun fact: “Some expectant parents even wander cemeteries looking for vintage baby name inspiration on the headstones.”
But some experts claim that people are most definitely not waiting a century to bring back popular names. In a 2025 piece for Good Housekeeping, Senior Parenting and Relationship Editor Marisa Lascala specifically compiled a list of “19 vintage 1970s baby girl names that are becoming popular again.”
At the top of that list were “Angie, Deborah, Jamie, Leslie and Bonnie.” According to Lascala, “Gen X was born in a period of great change, and the baby names of the era were no exception.” Perhaps it’s the modern times we’re living in that are accelerating a need to go back to an era that felt more manageable. (This is all subjective and relative, of course.)
This seems to be quite the popular topic. On the subreddit r/namenerds, someone posted a thread entitled “’Dated’ names you think are due for a resurgence.” They expound, “A lot of vintage names are quite popular these days – eg. Henry, Theodore, Josephine. But what about names that aren’t quite old enough to be cool again that you think are due for a resurgence?
I’m thinking names around Gen X and Millennial eras, where the vast majority of people with these names are going to be between 30 and 60. Names too recently popular to be vintage, while old enough to be considered dated… some eventually will come around back into being stylish.
Do you have any bets on what presently unpopular “dated” names will be popular again soon enough?”
The OP adds that they simply love the name Todd, for example. “Controversial opinion, I really love the name Todd even though a lot of folks think it’s a boring white guy/dad name. I think it has all the makings of a popular name and I’m placing my bets it will come back in style soon. I’m also really fond of the name Heather.”
Over a thousand people chimed in on this post to share the names that resonated for them back in the day. Names frequently mentioned on the thread included “Emily, Lisa, Laura, Nicole, and Erin” for girls. For boys, “Brian, Ryan, Evan, Justin, Jeremy and Eric” came up time and again.
Of the extremely popular name Lisa, one commenter shared that in some way, it fits with current trends, at least in the UK. “Lisa fits in with current UK trends (soft, short, L + S + ee sound), but it’s pinnacle Gen X/Millennial, so won’t make a comeback for a while. I hope it does make a resurgence one day though! I’d like Cynthia to come back now that people are likely to associate it with Erivo.”
Some even recall well-loved ’70s/’80s names, but add a modern spin. “Vanessa, but call her Nessa.”
And, a few point out that some older names that seem to have disappeared for one culture are still going strong in others. Take, for example, the name Camille. This Redditor shares, “Camila is crazy popular with Latino families and Latino-adjacent families, so this wouldn’t surprise me.”
And of course, as people re-watch classic movies from the 1980s, certain names will reappear in the zeitgeist. So for better or for worse, we’ve probably got quite a few “Heathers” on the way. (And/or perhaps maybe a “Veronica.”)
I’m not a psychologist or a sociologist; I’m just a human joining my fellow humans in the cryfest. But that human identity sits at the heart of the why question, so here are nine reasons I’ve observed that people are getting emotional over Artemis II.
“A Setting Earth” taken on the Artemis II mission. (Photo credit: NASA)
We desperately need something good and wholesome right now
Let’s just acknowledge this one upfront. In too many ways, the world has felt like a horror circus in recent years, and many people have lost a bit of faith in humanity. We need some solid reminders that we’re actually okay, and Artemis II is full of them.
Apollo and Artemis unite our past with our future
The name Artemis holds poetic significance. In Ancient Greek mythology, Artemis was Apollo’s twin sister as well as the goddess of the moon, the hunt, wild places, and childbirth. The original lunar missions being named Apollo and the modern missions being named Artemis is a beautiful hat-tip to that ancient history, as well as a nod to this mission carrying the first woman to circle the moon.
The Artemis II mission feels like a bridge between our past and our future.
“The pairing of Apollo and Artemis is more than poetic,” writes Samantha Mathewson for Space.com. “In mythology, the twins balance day and night, or sun and moon. In spaceflight, Apollo represents what humanity has already accomplished, while Artemis represents what comes next.”
It reminds us of how far we’ve come, both literally and figuratively
Like others before them, the astronauts of Artemis II took some legacy keepsake items into space. Among them is a one-inch square piece of fabric from the Wright Flyer, the plane the Wright brothers used in their first successful flight in 1903.
The significance of that tiny piece of fabric can’t be overstated. To fly through the air above Earth’s surface was a major milestone in human history. Did the Wright brothers imagine us going this far from Earth when they had just figured out how to get us off the ground?
Innovation and progress require imagination, so they probably did imagine it. Just as the women who worked on the Apollo lunar program probably imagined women becoming astronauts one day.
Christina Koch becoming the first woman to fly around the Moon isn’t the only sign of progress for women in the Artemis mission, though. Women played critical roles in the Apollo program as well, but they were smaller in number and not really visible to the public. Now we have this:
Earth may feel big to us, but in the context of the universe, our planet is infinitesimally tiny. And yet, we are here, eight billion individuals making our home on this little blue marble.
Pilot Victor Glover delivered an impromptu message on Easter that reminds us of the unique reality of being human on planet Earth:
“You guys are talking to us because we’re in a spaceship really far from Earth. But you’re on a spaceship called Earth that was created to give us a place to live in the universe, in the cosmos.
Maybe the distance we are from you makes you think what we’re doing is special. But we’re the same distance from you, and I’m trying to tell you—just trust me—you are special. In all of this emptiness—this is a whole bunch of nothing, this thing we call the universe—you have this oasis, this beautiful place that we get to exist together.“
Shifts the perspective a bit, doesn’t it?
The naming of the Moon crater ‘Carroll’ hit us right in the heart
Crater Carroll. A bright spot on the Moon that her kids can look up to and see Mom. What an incredible tribute.
Historic space missions are big deals. These astronauts represent all of humanity as we collectively breach new frontiers. And yet, it’s the personal relationships, our individual loved ones, the bonds of family and friendship that make us what and who we are as humans. This moment just beautifully highlighted the human in humanity, forever linking the personal with the universal.
It’s healing something in Gen X kids who watched the Challenger disaster live
There have been many space shuttle launches since 1986, but few have seen the widespread excitement and attention that Artemis II has received leading up to it. Perhaps that’s why so many Gen Xers who remember watching the Challenger explode as children were nervous to watch the launch and held our breath until the astronauts were safely out of the atmosphere.
OMG, you get it. I was watching with my son and almost started crying when the two boosters separated cleanly. I had tears well up. I told him I have serious PTSD when it comes to red rockets with boosters. 🙁
It may sound like an overstatement to call it PTSD, but watching a school teacher and astronauts we’d all been following on TV for months blow up on a live broadcast had an impact on our psyches. The shock and horror of it all, with none of the adults prepared to handle it, left a mark.
I was a news photographer in Lake Charles, La., on my day off, watching it on TV. I spent the rest of the day chasing debris and stories throughout East Texas.
I didn't breathe until after the first separation.
Until now, I didn't realize how deeply that scarred me.
But awe is often quiet and introspective. The photos we’ve seen from the astronauts on board the Orion have provided a view that we rarely get to see. Only when courageous humans launch themselves into space and look out a window do we get to see our world and our Moon this way.
Taking a few moments to sit in awe of space and our place in it can be an emotional experience. Awe-inspired existential tears are good tears.
It reminds us of what we’re capable of
Humanity has always had its ups and downs, and they often happen at the same time. But science advancements, when done for the greater good and collective progress, are some of our biggest ups. This mission is a reminder of what we can do when we work together on innovating and creating instead of conquering and destroying.
It reminds us we are one
“This is an opportunity to remember where we are, who we are, and that we are the same thing,” Victor Glover said in his Easter message. “And that we got to get through this together.”
We really are the same thing. Looking at Earth from space, there are no neatly drawn lines. There are no borders, no nations, nothing actually dividing us but rivers, oceans, and mountains.
Of course, we are complex people with diverse cultures, languages, and identities. But seeing Earth from afar makes these differences seem far less significant. Certainly, they don’t seem worth killing one another over.
Do you ever wonder how future history books will treat this time period we’re living in? What will they teach and what will they leave out? How will they analyze us? How will we be remembered?
Will they know how we collectively wept over the naming of a Moon crater? Or will that detail—the one that defines us more than any war or conflict ever could—be omitted?
I hope the beauty and humanity we’ve witnessed in this mission are remembered in the story of who we were, because it really is the best of who we are.
Odds are you’ve heard Wally de Backer, aka Gotye, and his song “Somebody That I Used to Know.” It’s the Australian musician’s biggest commercial hit, selling more than 20 million copies since its release in 2011, making it one of the best-selling digital singles of all time. Not to mention it inspired several amazing covers, which you might have also stumbled upon.
The music video, in its poignant simplicity, is every bit as iconic. Gotye stands naked facing the camera, as featured singer Kimbra faces him. As they sing, they are slowly “painted” into and out of the background of geometric shapes using stop motion animation. There’s a very Wes Anderson feel to it that adds so much to the story told in the song, making it all the more memorable.
This dance troupe was up to the task
All this to say…it would be a challenge to recreate the magic that’s so inherent in the original. And yet, Netherland-based dance troupe CDK clearly understood the assignment with their highly stylized movement performance set to the well-known art pop ballad.
As thousands of viewers were quick to note, it’s not just the incredible dance moves that made this performance so captivating. It’s the killer combination of choreography, camerawork and costumes that make the piece impossible to turn away from.
“This is pure art,” one person wrote. While another added, “I think I’m going to watch it everyday for the rest of my life.”
Watch CDK’s Stunning Performance Here
This group is clearly at the top of their game, simply by how easy they make it all look (like, I’ve already convinced myself that I can pull off those moves). But what’s more evident is that they enjoy what they’re doing to the nth degree. Over on their Instagram page, you’ll find equally mesmerizing routines set to Billie Eilish, Nicki Minaj, and more.
1: Gotye allows small independent projects, like student films—and probably this dance piece—to use his music free of charge. “If someone wants to use it commercially I look at what the budget is and the creativity of the project,” he said, according to News.com.
2: CDK isn’t the only group to have recently breathed new life into the song. Also in 2024, an electronic remix of the song titled “Somebody (2024),” created by electronic music producers Chris Lake, Fisher, and Sante Sansone, debuted. Much like its predecessor, “Somebody (2024) topped the charts.
This article originally appeared two years ago. It has been updated.
During an episode from the latest season of Love on the Spectrum, Netflix’s heartwarming, critically acclaimed reality series that follows autistic individuals navigating the complexities of relationships, two fan favorites—Madison Marilla and her now fiancée, Tyler White—shared a moment that many couples face regardless of neurodivergence: emotional triggers.
As the two approached their date location, a fan can be heard saying, “Maddie! I love you!” This visibly affected Marilla, who explained that her autism causes “black and white thinking.” So hearing a nickname, like “Maddie,” causes her to feel “anxious and thrown off.” In fact, she noted it’s one of her “biggest sensitivities.”
In an Instagram post, marriage counselors Chris & Jamie Bailey break down how the couple’s handling of the situation was a prime example for anyone who witnesses their significant other getting triggered.
Chris and Jamie noted that in the clip, White stayed calm, moved towards Madison, validated her feelings without judgment, stayed present in the situation, listened to understand, and then, after Madison was able to express herself, he reassured her that they are a team and that he is there for her.
And for her part, Madison “chose to process what was happening instead of reacting.” She also reminded herself that “it was going to be ok” and “moved forward” rather than ruminate.
All relationships deal with triggers
While relationships involving autism or other forms of neurodiversity have their own unique set of challenges, Chris and Jamie noted that every couple will at some point face triggers. When that happens, each partner has a “responsibility.” The triggered person is responsible for their emotional regulation, while the non-triggered person is responsible for offering support. Both Tyler and Madison exemplified what can go right when each partner takes on their individual responsibility—especially staying present.
“What couples often miss is the simplicity of just remaining with your spouse during a trigger, “ Chris and Jamie added.
Judging by the comments, the Baileys were clearly not the only ones who felt Madison and Tyler offered a “masterclass in emotional regulation and communication.”
“This was incredibly impressive. The way she worked through a trigger, the way he supported her and validated it. Well done everyone. We could all learn from this. ❤️”
“Responding before reacting is something every single person I’ve ever met has struggled with. I love how hard she’s working to stay aware of her mind, heart and body and how best to keep them regulated in these really difficult situations.
“This was such an incredible thing to witness. I’m so grateful for Madison’s ability to be vulnerable through this and to allow the world the opportunity to learn from her 😭 I needed this today!
“These two humans are pure good. They totally get each other and provide such a safe space.”
“I love that Tyler didn’t even try to hug her or touch her and he let Madison’s nervous system calm down first. Full respect!!”
Expert-backed methods for dealing with emotional triggers in a relationship
For your own triggers, awareness is the first step. Many people notice physical cues before anything else. It might be a racing heart, a tight chest, or a sudden urge to withdraw or lash out. Naming what is happening, even silently, can help create space between the feeling and the reaction. Simple grounding techniques, like slowing your breathing, focusing on your senses, or giving yourself permission to pause, can make a meaningful difference. Just as Madison demonstrated, reminding yourself that the moment will pass can help shift your nervous system out of alarm mode.
When it comes to supporting a partner who is triggered, the goal isn’t to fix the feeling, but to help create safety. That often looks like staying calm, listening without interrupting, and validating what they are experiencing, even if you do not fully understand it. Avoid rushing them, minimizing their reaction, or immediately offering solutions. Instead, gentle reassurance and presence can go much further than advice.
Of course, this kind of mutual support works best when both people are willing to take ownership of their emotional patterns over time. Conversations outside of triggered moments can help partners learn each other’s sensitivities, boundaries, and preferred ways of being supported.
As Madison and Tyler remind us, when both people are willing to meet each other with awareness and care, even the most uncomfortable moments can become opportunities for deeper connection.
It seems like at least once a year, the debate over BMI (body mass index) resurfaces. Experts are quick to point out that it’s a flawed system: at best, it ignores key factors that shape a person’s body composition; at worst, it creates real health consequences, influencing eligibility for weight loss medications, insurance rates, joint-replacement surgery and fertility treatment. Then the conversation fades, life moves on and not much changes.
And yet, despite the constant debunking, the belief in BMI still marches on. This time, it was hurled at the USA rugby star and Olympian Ilona Maher. More specifically, someone commented “I bet that person has a 30% BMI” on one of Maher’s TikTok videos.
Could this person have simply been pointing out the inherent flaw of BMI and that Maher, an elite athlete, would be considered “overweight” using this system? Perhaps. But this is the internet we’re dealing with, so Maher (and others) interpreted it to be an insult.
Under that context, Maher wasn’t having it, and chose “not to just ignore the haters.”
“Hi, thank you for this comment. I think you were trying to roast me, but this is actually a fact. I do have a BMI of 30. Well, 29.3 to be exact,” Maher said in response video…which became something of a roast itself.
Maher talked about how she had been considered “overweight” her entire life, and even recalled being “so embarrassed” to turn in a physical form to the office which had “overweight” written on it.
“I chatted with my dietitian, because I go off facts, and not just what pops up here. You know, like you do.” she quipped while tapping her temples.
What the numbers actually tell us
Maher is 5-ft.-10-in. and 200 lbs, which is considered “overweight” by BMI standards. But as she explained, about 170 of those 200 pounds are “lean muscle mass.”
“Do that math in your head…you probably can’t,” Maher said sarcastically.
It’s easy to see through this example how bogus BMI really is, especially for athletes.
Essentially, “BMI doesn’t tell you what I can do.”
“It doesn’t tell you what I can do on the field. How fit I am. It’s just a couple of numbers put together,” she said. “It doesn’t tell you how much muscle I have, or anything like that.”
Maher concluded by faux lamenting, “I do have a BMI of 30. I am considered overweight. But alas, I am going to the Olympics, and you’re not.” Maher went on to win a silver medal at the 2024 Paris Olympics.
The U.S. women’s rugby team with First Lady Jill Biden and members of the U.S. delegation to the 2024 Summer Olympic Games The White House/Public Domain
Why This Hit Home for So Many People
While Maher’s clapback was certainly satisfying, it also provided some much needed reassurance to folks. So many commented on how this outdated concept has affected (or still effects) their own body image or that of a loved one.
“How can I get my teenage daughter with a high BMI (but fit!) to understand this?! She feels shamed even at the doctor for her BMI.”
“Dancer here, I’ll never forget at 13 being told I had the BMI of 24 of ‘overweight.’ I broke down and the nurse said it didn’t mean anything and all I could think was then WHY are you making me do this?!”
A registered dietitian explains why BMI is so flawed. YouTube
“I had to ask the doctor’s office to put a note on my child’s file to not bring up/talk about BMI in her check ups. It isn’t an accurate representation of health!”
“Thank you for sharing your weight, bc seeing lbs numbers in different bodies has been so helpful in me loving mine. I’m nowhere near an athlete’s body but damn, the numbers really do us in.”
Until a more affordable solution pops up, BMI will continue to rear its ugly head in doctor’s offices and in our psyches. Maybe this is a reminder that our bodies are so much more than height and weight every now and again is a good thing. And if it comes from an Olympian…even better.
Maher also shut down any notions that her BMI was high due to anything other than muscle with a Sports Illustrated cover shoot in August of 2024. Um, yeah.
