Shop
 Explore 

Monica Lewinsky opens up about her powerful new PSA on 'Self bullying'

Bullying comes in many forms and Lewinsky is shining a light on people's biggest bullies - themselves.

negative self talk; self bullying; Monica Lewinsky; Stand Up to Yourself campaign; mental health

Mikhail Nilov|Canva

Monica Lewinsky opens up about her powerful new PSA

Bullying is an issue that we all know well. We talk about the importance of instilling kindness in children and teaching them to speak up when they see someone being bullied. It's proven time and time again that bullying can be damaging - in some cases, deadly. This prompts all sorts of PSAs and anti-bullying campaigns but there's one type of bullying these efforts often miss.

Monica Lewinsky is no stranger to bullying but through all of her battles and multi-hyphenate titles she's achieved, there's still one bully she fights daily - herself. Well, Lewinsky didn't let her internal battle slow her down. While talking to her about her new project, a PSA on self bullying, she revealed where the idea came from.

"About ten years ago had to write down the negative things we said to ourselves and had to read them to other people," she explains before pondering why we're this cruel to ourselves if we wouldn't speak this way to others.

Self bullying isn't new and Lewinsky is sure to reiterate that she did not coin the term. This negative self talk is just something that seems to happen as we age, especially with the rise of social media where it's easy to compare your lived reality with the curated snapshots others share. Lewinsky contributes social media to more teens speaking to themselves negatively as well as more struggles with mental health.

"95% of teens use social media and more than a third of them report using social media constantly," she says quoting a recent Surgeon General's Advisory.

The producer also explains that there's a high correlation with poor self image, body issues and online harassment and the use of social media. Being armed with this knowledge, it made it important for Lewinsky to include a couple of young teen sisters in the PSA.

In the PSA, the exercise Lewinsky had to do a decade ago is used to make a statement on a larger scale. Having each person read the negative thoughts they have about themselves to someone else really brought home how harmful self bullying can be. But Lewinsky revealed an even deeper connection to bullying, self bullying and this mental health PSA.

"It’s an interesting intersection, my undergraduate degree, my major was in psychology so then to have the experiences I have. Literally the life altering year of 98 gave me more of an understanding, having the world reflect back to me these negative things I thought about myself," the social activist divulges.

Lewinsky expresses excitement for her dream of helping to pioneer "emotional trauma urgent care centers." These centers would be a place where people who may have just experienced an upsetting event can walk into one for immediate help.

"We give such immediate attention to physical injuries, why not emotional," Lewinsky asks.

Emotional injuries are sometimes much harder to recover from and understandably can sometimes result in self bullying. But when it comes to self bullying, Lewinsky believes people are less easily able to identify it, which is why she felt making this PSA was important.

"It’s not a concept that’s really out there but when we reframe an issue or reframe a behavior it helps," she tells Upworthy.

For those who are struggling with negative self talk, Lewinsky has a message for you.

"Be gentle with yourself, even around the process of starting to realize that negative self talk is bullying. I’ve been working on it for decades."

From Your Site Articles

monica lewinsky

Facebook group brings people together IRL to make meaningful friendships

True

Making new friends as an adult is challenging. While people crave meaningful IRL connections, it can be hard to know where to find them. But thanks to one Facebook Group, meeting your new best friends is easier than ever.

Founded in 2018, NYC Brunch Squad brings together hundreds of people who come as strangers and leave as friends through its in-person events.

“Witnessing the transformative impact our community has on the lives of our members is truly remarkable. We provide the essential support and connections needed to thrive amid the city's chaos,” shares Liza Rubin, the group’s founder.

Despite its name, the group doesn’t just do brunch. They also have book clubs, seasonal parties, and picnics, among other activities.

NYC Brunch Squad curates up to 10 monthly events tailored to the specific interests of its members. Liza handles all the details, taking into account different budgets and event sizes – all people have to do is show up.

“We have members who met at our events and became friends and went on to embark on international journeys to celebrate birthdays together. We have had members get married with bridesmaids by their sides who were women they first connected with at our events. We’ve had members decide to live together and become roommates,” Liza says.

View this post on Instagram
A post shared by 𝐍𝐘𝐂 𝐁𝐫𝐮𝐧𝐜𝐡 𝐒𝐪𝐮𝐚𝐝® (@nycbrunchsquad)

Members also bond over their passion for giving back to their community. The group has hosted many impact-driven events, including a “Picnic with Purpose” to create self-care packages for homeless shelters and recently participated in the #SquadSpreadsJoy challenge. Each day, the 100 members participating receive random acts of kindness to complete. They can also share their stories on the group page to earn extra points. The member with the most points at the end wins a free seat at the group's Friendsgiving event.

Keep ReadingShow less

This Map Reveals The True Value Of $100 In Each State

Your purchasing power can swing by 30% from state to state.

Image by Tax Foundation.

Map represents the value of 100 dollars.

As the cost of living in large cities continues to rise, more and more people are realizing that the value of a dollar in the United States is a very relative concept. For decades, cost of living indices have sought to address and benchmark the inconsistencies in what money will buy, but they are often so specific as to prevent a holistic picture or the ability to "browse" the data based on geographic location.

The Tax Foundation addressed many of these shortcomings using the most recent (2015) Bureau of Economic Analysis data to provide a familiar map of the United States overlaid with the relative value of what $100 is "worth" in each state. Granted, going state-by-state still introduces a fair amount of "smoothing" into the process — $100 will go farther in Los Angeles than in Fresno, for instance — but it does provide insight into where the value lies.

Keep ReadingShow less

One man turned nursing home design on its head when he created this stunning facility

"What if we design an environment that looks like outside?" he said. "What if I can have a sunrise and sunset inside the building?

92-year-old Norma had a strange and heartbreaking routine.

Every night around 5:30 p.m., she stood up and told the staff at her Ohio nursing home that she needed to leave. When they asked why, she said she needed to go home to take care of her mother. Her mom, of course, had long since passed away.

Behavior like Norma's is quite common for older folks suffering from Alzheimer's or other forms of dementia. Walter, another man in the same assisted living facility, demanded breakfast from the staff every night around 7:30.

Keep ReadingShow less

If you're grieving a loved one this holiday season, here's a gift you can give yourself

After losing her almost-4-year-old daughter to epilepsy, Kelly Cervantes created a "grief companion" that meets people wherever they are in their grief journey.

Images courtesy of Kelly Cervantes

Kelly Cervantes wrote her way through grieving the loss of her daughter, Adelaide.

Kelly Cervantes begins the Introduction to her book with five words: "Grief sucks. It's also weird." It's a concise truth that anyone who has lost a loved one knows all too well.

Grief is a universal experience—none of us get through life without loss—but it's also unique to each person. Most of us are familiar with the popular "stages of grief" theory, but denial, anger, bargaining, depression, and acceptance (along with guilt and a host of things) are less like sequential rungs on a ladder and more like pools you fall into at various times as you stumble your way through the grief process. Grief is not linear and it's not neat and tidy and it's not predictable.

Take it from someone who's been there. Kelly Cervantes lost her daughter, Adelaide, to epilepsy just shy of her 4th birthday. Using writing as a therapeutic tool to help her process Adelaide's medically complex life, death and everything that came after, Kelly created the book she wished she'd had as she was trying to navigate her own grieving process.

Keep ReadingShow less