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Kristina Kuzmic and her son Ari nail the reality of perimenopause, aka "cougar puberty."

Women who've found themselves thrust into the throes of perimenopause know that symptoms in the years preceding actual menopause can be extreme. The family members who live with perimenopausal women are well aware of it, too, bless their hearts and stable hormones.

So when a tween boy talks about his mom's perimenopause period the same way a parent talks about their child going through puberty, it's an apt comparison. But when it's delivered with a deadpan delivery using terms like "cougar puberty," it's comedy gold.

Kristina Kuzmic and her 11-year-old son, Ari, hit the nail on the head with their video comparing perimenopause to puberty, and people can't get enough. Ari sits at a kitchen counter in a robe, coffee cup in hand, and says right to the camera, "My mom is going through puberty—cougar puberty. I knew this day would come—I just didn't think it would happen this fast."

Watch:

@iamkristinakuzmic

He’s not wrong. #cougarpuberty #perimenopause #menopause

"This is a very confusing time in her life," Ari continues. "There are some complicated feelings. I don't even know if she knows how to process them all."

Uh, yeah. Accurate. The video goes on to cover "coug-erty" realities like mood swings, bodily changes, sleep disturbances, fashion choices, hormone replacement therapy, and shifts in attitude, all while Kuzmic cries over cheese, shaves her face, wears PJs and slippers to the store, and shoves ice down her shirt.

"At the end of the day, it's my job to love her through it and remind myself that this is all normal development," Ari concludes before telling his mom, "Growing up is tough, but I'm really proud of the woman you're becoming."

perimenopause, menopause, hot flash, women's health, aging Menopause Hot Flashes GIF by Kino Lorber Giphy

Ari's delivery and Kuzmic acting it all out is perfection, and women who relate are sharing the video widely with commentary like:

"Calling menopause cougar puberty is hilarious and sounds so much better than menopause 🤣🤣"

"My mustache is coming in and soon my sons will be coming in too. At least we have something to bond over."

"BUT… why is this 100% accurate?!"

"This is so accurate! I haven't had this many bodily changes since I was a teen 😂😭"

"But why do I have to hit cougar puberty as my kids are hitting theirs? It's a perfect storm. 😵💫"

"I’m so glad that perimenopause is being talked about. I’m currently in menopause but would have loved knowing more years ago."

perimenopause, menopause, hot flash, women's health, aging Menopause GIF by Better Things Giphy

Perimenopause is no joke, but it's something that simply wasn't talked about—or even studied on a large scale—until fairly recently. Most of us grew up hearing about menopause and learned that it's when women's menstruation ends. We may have heard hot flashes come along with that change, but that's about it. The fact that the hormonal changes start years before menopause happens and that there are dozens of possible symptoms—many of which no one would guess could be associated with it—has only been a recent revelation to the general public.

As Kira Merman writes for Yale School of Medicine, "Long-lasting misconceptions around menopause linger. A simplistic view of menopause as a sudden, binary change has shaped decades of inadequate care. We don’t expect any of our other organs to shut down overnight as we age; why is it that we’ve come to expect such an abrupt change for our ovaries?"

There have been more studies since the 1980s, when the term "perimenopause" first came into use, but some of the conclusions from the research have been confusing. For instance, hormone replacement therapy (HRT) became widely used up through the 1990s, but when some research showed it increased the risk of breast cancer and other health problems, its popularity dropped. Since then, more research and analysis has come out that counters those risks, but not all medical providers are fully educated on the subject. Considering that fact that half the population will eventually go through this transition, the lack of knowledge and training is bizarre.

perimenopause, menopause, hot flash, women's health, aging Doctors need to be better prepared to help patients through perimenopause.Photo credit: Canva

Berman shares that even OB-GYNs don't receive adequate education on the subject: "A 2023 survey found that over 90% of obstetrics and gynecology residency program directors in the U.S. agreed that residents should have access to a standardized menopause curriculum, yet less than a third reported that their programs actually offer one. This critical knowledge gap risks leaving many health care providers ill-equipped to address menopause causes and symptoms effectively, ultimately compromising women’s access to appropriate care."

As helpless as many women feel during perimenopause, access to knowledgeable caregivers needs to change. In the meantime, we can keep talking about it and laughing about it. It's much better than crying into our cheese.

You can follow Kristina Kuzmic on Instagram and TikTok.

Photo by April Walker on Unsplash
Retired elementary school teacher shares biggest parenting mistake she saw during long career

Few people understand kids better than elementary school teachers. Not only do they spend all day with kids, but teachers get to know their students' parents pretty well, too. From parent-teacher conferences to field trips and snack days, it's a collaborative relationship meant to foster their child's development. (And let's be real: what parent hasn't gotten a call from their child's teacher to discuss their *questionable* behavior in the classroom?)

Teachers are full of wisdom about kids, which is why TikToker @elenanico22 interviewed her mom Lisa, a retired elementary school teacher, in an advice video. She asked her mom to share her insights on the question: "What's one thing you saw people messing up with their kids?"

And her response was simple: "They didn't enjoy them." Elena asks her mom to elaborate, and she goes on to share, "Kids are fun. You’ve got to enjoy them. They wanted them to be something that — most of us aren’t exactly what other people want us to be — so enjoy the kid you have."

@elenanico22

Lisa says it like it is #momlife #momsoftiktok #momwisdom #momtok #momhumor #parenting #parentingwisdom

Of course, Lisa fully accepted her own daughter, and turns to Elena in the video and says, "I enjoyed you."

And the comments were flooded with positive replies from parents to her response. "Kids aren’t a chore, they’re a joy. 🥰," one wrote. Another added, "Parents are stressed, and they don’t realize how quickly childhood goes by."

Parents Kids Love GIF by Pudgy Penguins Giphy

The post also resonated with other teachers and professionals who work with kids. "This is so true. I work in childcare and lots of parents literally cannot stand their kids. They get so angry when we close. They can’t wait to drop them off and pickup last minute. Breaks my heart," one commented. Another wrote, "Toddler teacher. Same. So heartbreaking. I saw it a lot when I worked with highly educated parents with high incomes." And another teacher chimed in with, "So true. As a elementary teacher sometimes playing Barbie Dreamhouse with my 4 y/o is the last thing I want to do but I always do because I know I'll be wishing for it one day ♥️." And another professional shared, "As a pediatrician, I agree."

The video concluded with another piece of strong advice from Lisa, who also dropped this nugget: "Never send your kid to school with carrots." The reason? She explained a story involving a prominent doctor at her school who was "super strict" with what his kids could and could not eat at school.

Carrots hamster GIF Giphy

"So of course what did the kids want? Everything they couldn't," she said. "You are bound to have kids who are going to have food issues."

And plenty of parents offered their thoughts on this. "Omg I love her! Please post more. As a mom I’m enjoying time with my kids, loving their personalities and so anti food restriction teaching them intuitive eating. Because I wasn’t taught those things," one commented. Another shared, "The food statement is so true. My son shared that a boy from his class (who has food restrictions) steals the other kids snacks at school! 🙈❤️😂"

This article originally appeared in January

Celebrating a child's art can be fun for all.

Have you ever read “The Artist’s Way”? Written by Julia Cameron in 1992, it’s a wonderful workbook that teaches you ways to unlock your creative potential. There are the “morning pages,” a daily ritual in which you wake up, then log three free-written pages by hand, tossing whatever ideas come from your mind onto the page. The weekly “artist date,” which sees you out in the world, enriching your creative soul. And the rotating lessons, each centered around a specific “block” you may have concerning your creativity.

For the uninitiated, this may all sound a bit “woo-woo.” But the core idea is that, unknowingly, society stifles our creativity in a million and one ways. Teachers who were mean and cruel, mocking your attempts at art. Distracted parents, more concerned with grades than anything else. Existence within a culture that prizes financial stability and success over creative outpourings of the soul.

Luckily, the daughter of TikTok user @abigail.ellesociety will never have to worry about any of that. In a joyous viral video (that’s racked up 4.2 million views, 945,000 likes, and over 109,000 shares), Abigail shares the art show she threw her four-year-old daughter. Besides the three-foot-tall host, the video depicts a trendy scene that would look at home in any gallery in Los Angeles or Manhattan.

woman in white long sleeve shirt and blue denim jeans sitting on brown wooden tableIt's never too late (or too early) to unleash your inner artist. Photo by Matthieu Jungfer on Unsplash



“You throw your four-year-old an art show”

Welcome to @abigail.ellesociety’s art show. The video begins with the four-year-old artist in residence dressed in a chic, all-black outfit. She sports a sleek, pulled-back hairdo (no surprise, given that her mom is a hairstylist and owns Elle Society Salon in Troutdale, Oregon) and welcomes admirers, patrons, and fellow peers into the space. Some even arrive with flowers.


children standing next to art exhibitPeople online are loving the four-year-old's art show. Photo credit: Canva

Her art is proudly displayed on the walls. There's Pikachu, depicted in watercolor. Hand-drawn rainbows and purple butterflies. Minions scowling; minions lifting weights. Minions wielding a lasso. (The artist’s affinity for the “Despicable Me” henchmen did not go unnoticed, with the official Illumination’s Minions account commenting, “She’s an artisté ✨”. The official Barbie account also chimed in, commenting, “to be loved is to be seen 💓”.) Peckish guests enjoyed a delicious spread of finger foods, including pigs in a blanket and pinwheel turkey wraps.

In the comments, TikTok users gushed over the four-year-old’s art show, with @zee_nicolee writing, “This new generation of moms are really healing so many of us 🥰🥰 Great job, Mama 🥰”.

@astoldbyawa said, “I’m literally gonna be this type of mom idc.” While @uncancelable.sahra chimed in, “Can you imagine seeing her art in a museum one day?”


How to honor your child’s creativity

The benefits of supporting a child’s art are endless. Beyond the creative realm, honoring their art is a significant step toward fostering self-respect, confidence, and self-expression. Here are 4 ways to celebrate your child’s inner artist.

  1. Take their art seriously. The beauty of the art show is how free it is—it’s not an art show “for kids,” it’s a real, bonafide art show! The artist—and her work—are taken seriously. Have your child sign and date everything they make (and like!) on the back. Save these treasures, either digitally or physically, to create a living record of their artistic journey: a lovely portfolio for them and you!
  2. Create a cork wall display. For a natural, “artsy” feel, constructing a wall-to-wall (or even extremely large) corkboard could provide the perfect canvas for a budding artist’s portfolio. For inspiration, check out this one posted by @florenceandhenri on Instagram, which shows rows and rows of neatly organized child artwork held up by pushpins. It’s an easy way to rotate pieces in and out, and is a nice alternative to the ubiquitous chalk wall. “[A cork wall] helps with acoustics,” writes @florenceandhenri. “It’s tactile and brighter than a wall full of black.”
  3. Repurpose as stationary. This technique saves money—and the planet! Turn artwork into writing cards, thank you notes, and letters by writing on the back. It’s a personal, homey touch that many recipients will appreciate. If you want to go the extra mile, try your hand at the Japanese art of origami and fold the artwork until it becomes an envelope.
  4. Save art in a collage. Although these are precious artifacts, physical copies of a child’s art can accumulate quickly—and if you’re not an archivist, saving them can feel more like a chore than a celebration. Turn those works into a collage, either digitally or physically. You can even get creative with the design, like a collage that looks like your home state or a collage using the letters in your child's name.

Remember, honoring your child’s art is supposed to be fun. If you get trapped in a "do it perfectly" mentality, just refer back to the original art show video. In it, everyone is relaxed and having a good time. The art is hung nicely (but not overly styled or organized). The four-year-old artist is excited to share her work with others. And there are heaps of pigs in a blanket. Those always help. For more inspiration, check out the full art show TikTok below:


@abigail.ellesociety

🧑‍🎨🎨

Fatherhood

Anthony Mackie explains his refreshingly old-school approach to raising his boys to be men

"In the past 20 years, we've been living through the death of the American male."

@thepivot/TikTok

Anthony Mackie explains how he raises his boys to become men.

While on an episode of The Pivot podcast, Marvel star and father to four sons Anthony Mackie recently took a strong stance regarding masculinity, saying: "In the past 20 years, we've been living through the death of the American male…but I raised my boys to become young men.”

While that sentence might at first seem like we’re heading into some cringey “alpha male” territory, the Captain America: Brave New World actor also elaborated on the values he instills in sons, like being respectful, having humility, saying “yes sir” or “yes ma'am” and “thank you,” opening the door for women, making sure their mother is "taken care of and provided for.”

@thepivot

Anthony Mackie On The Death Of The American Male #anthonymackie #captainamerica #marvel #foryou #mindset #fatherhood #america #masculinity #fyp

Mackie then provided an example, saying that before leaving for a job, he would make his 15-year-old son the “man of the house,” with the responsibility of making sure the doors were locked and the alarm was on. Because, as Mackie put it, “if I’m not there to protect, he gotta be there to protect.”

This sentiment reflects a broader shift that many parents are experiencing. While there are certainly many praises to sing about modern practices like gentle parenting, many people are also longing for a return of some “traditional” approaches that are equally beneficial, particularly when it comes to setting helpful boundaries and teaching manners.

As one viewer put it, “That’s called structure, responsibility, accountability, and direction.”

But there’s also Mackie’s take on masculinity itself—involving caring for and protecting others, showing up for responsibilities, and embodying true leadership—which people are positively responding to.

leadership, raising sons, fathers and sons, young menMasculinity doesn't have to be toxic. Photo credit: Canva

Mackie's take t seems to touch on admirable traits that can go unnoticed by both far left progressives, who wave the flag of “toxic masculinity” (and thus alienate half the population), and the right wing "manfluencers" like Andrew Tate who offer a place for men to be welcomed while promoting actual toxic traits like misogyny, narcissism, and domination.

“That’s not the masculinity that needs to die. More fathers need to teach this,” one person wrote about Mackie's take.

Another echoed, “What a beautiful way to articulate being a man.”

As another viewer noted, parents can of course teach boys these traits while also teaching “emotional intelligence too—vulnerability, honesty, empathy, care. Then the boys will be golden.”

And just as we can incorporate both new and old parenting styles, we can also integrate some nuance in the way we talk about masculinity. Our conversations surrounding gender roles are constantly in flux, and yet there's a bit of stuckness around this topic—what makes a “real” man, how to be a “good” man, and so on. Mackie’s take put to words what a lot of folks are feeling: that the good parts of masculinity are being erased along with the bad, and that if we really do want the next generation of men to be fully realized, we need to teach them what that looks like.

Watch the full podcast episode below:

- YouTubewww.youtube.com