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Dad shares bonding technique that brought him closer to his daughter.

Building a strong parental bond between father and daughter is all about spending intentional time together. And for dads who work or have limited time during the days to spend with their daughters, the good news is that a strong relationship can be achieved in less than half an hour.

An enthusiastic dad shared about how a 20-minute bonding technique "made a huge difference" with his daughter on the Reddit thread, r/daddit. "I never really felt bonding and I even felt my child was a bit scared of me or just had a preferred parent. (Still does)," he explained. "But consciously doing this and being purposeful has been a game changer there's last 2 months when she turned 3."

The bonding technique comes from psychiatrist Dr. Daniel Amen, MD. Called "Special Time," the dad describes it as 20-30 minutes of engagement with a simple purpose: "To foster a stronger connection with children by providing undivided attention and positive interaction."

"This is probably one of the most effective parenting strategies I've given parents, is spend 20 minutes a day with your child. Do something with them they wanna do," Dr. Amen explained in a video on "Special Time." "And during that time, no commands, no questions, no directions. It's just time."

Dr. Amen also adds that the benefits are endless. They include: increased closeness, improved communication, and a more positive relationship with the child.

- YouTube www.youtube.com

Fellow dads weighed in on how it's helped their relationships with their kids thrive. "That kinda explains why my kiddos bonded so well with me over their mother. It's not something I've consciously done, just enjoyed doing. Usually after dinner we'll have a good 30 mins of dedicated playtime before bed," he wrote. "I mostly just used it as a way to get those last bits of energy on the day out. My daughter will just come up to me and say what she wants to do. 'Dada, chase' and we'll chase each other around the house, or 'Dada hide' obv is hide and seek. Which is hilarious with a 3 yo. Her idea of hiding at one point was laying as still as possible on the floor with her head in a diaper box."

Another dad added, "Yeah, being mindful of this and making time for it helps so much. I'm out of the house 55+ hours per week with work and my wife is SAHM, so he's way more attached to her than to me. But this morning I lay under a table in his room for like 30 minutes being the 'cupboard troll,' demanding he pays tolls to receive items from the cupboard."

Dr. Amen's "Special Time" technique is "deceptively easy," parenting coach Keesha Scott, MS, tells Upworthy. "It works because kids don’t just want attention, they want attuned attention. When a parent sets everything else aside, the child feels deeply seen, and that sense of connection becomes the foundation of trust."

"Special Time" also lays a great foundation to build a secure attachment. "A secure attachment allows individuals to move forward in the world feeling safe, empowered, and confident," Reesa Morala, LMFT, a Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist and owner of Embrace Renewal Therapy, tells Upworthy. "When you know that someone is in your corner with unconditional positive regard, your body is more willing to try new things and expand themselves because they know someone will be there to support and champion them."

For parents looking to try out "Special Time," it doesn't take much forethought. "That could mean playing a game, telling a story, or just sitting together in a way that feels relaxed. Some of the best moments don’t come from a planned 'session' at all," says Scott.

Morala adds, "Let them teach you a skill or a game. Get silly. Get creative. If you can involve movement, that will naturally get the endorphins (hormones that help with attachment bonds) flowing."

All illustrations are provided by Soosh and used with permission.

It's hard to truly describe the amazing bond between dads and their daughters.

Being a dad is an amazing job no matter the gender of the tiny humans we're raising. But there's something unique about the bond between fathers and daughters. Most dads know what it's like to struggle with braiding hair, but we also know that bonding time provides immense value to our daughters. In fact, studies have shown that women with actively involved fathers are more confident and more successful in school and business.

You know how a picture is worth a thousand words? I'll just let these images sum up the daddy-daughter bond.

A 37-year-old Ukrainian artist affectionately known as Soosh, recently created some ridiculously heartwarming illustrations of the bond between a dad and his daughter, and put them on her Instagram feed. Sadly, her father wasn't involved in her life when she was a kid. But she wants to be sure her 9-year-old son doesn't follow in those footsteps.

"Part of the education for my kiddo who I want to grow up to be a good man is to understand what it's like to be one," Soosh told Upworthy.

There are so many different ways that fathers demonstrate their love for their little girls, and Soosh pretty much nails all of them.

Get ready to run the full gamut of the feels.

1. Dads can do it all. Including hair.

parenting, dads, daughters, fathers, art, artwork A father does his daughter's hairAll illustrations are provided by Soosh and used with permission.

2. They also make pretty great game opponents.



parenting, dads, daughters, fathers, art, artwork, chess A father plays chess with his daughter All illustrations are provided by Soosh and used with permission.

3. And the Hula-Hoop skills? Legendary.



parenting, dads, daughters, fathers, art, artwork, hula hoop A dad hula hoops with his daughterAll illustrations are provided by Soosh and used with permission.

4. Dads know there's always time for a tea party regardless of the mountain of work in front of them.



A dad talks to his daughter while working at his deskAll illustrations are provided by Soosh and used with permission.


5. And their puppeteer skills totally belong on Broadway.



A dad performs a puppet show for his daughterAll illustrations are provided by Soosh and used with permission.


6. Dads help us see the world from different views.



A dad walks with his daughter on his backAll illustrations are provided by Soosh and used with permission.


7. So much so that we never want them to leave.



a dad carries a suitcase that his daughter holds ontoAll illustrations are provided by Soosh and used with permission.


8. They can make us feel protected, valued, and loved.



A dad holds his sleeping daughterAll illustrations are provided by Soosh and used with permission.


9. Especially when there are monsters hiding in places they shouldn't.



A superhero dad looks over his daughterAll illustrations are provided by Soosh and used with permission.


10. Seeing the daddy-daughter bond as art perfectly shows how beautiful fatherhood can be.



A dad takes the small corner of the bed with his dauthterAll illustrations are provided by Soosh and used with permission.


This article originally appeared nine years ago.

Canva Photos

Girls are "warning" guys not to get on their dad's bad side, with a wholesome twist.

We all know the stereotype: there's the beautiful girl with no shortage of suitors, but there's just one problem—her dad is a menace. He's large, burly, cold as ice, and usually sitting on the front porch with a shotgun. If you want to date her, you better be ready to impress him (and he's impossible to impress). Worse, if you hurt her, he'll hurt you even more.

It's a common trope seen in movies, TV shows, and country songs. And while, as a dad myself, I respect being protective of our daughters in a world that can be really dangerous for them, the stereotype and attitude behind it probably does more harm than good.

Luckily, a new viral trend is putting a wholesome twist on the "fear my father" trope, and people are gobbling it up.

Girls on TikTok and Instagram are making videos warning anyone who might hurt them that they'll have to deal with Dad. Tense hip-hop music sets up the dramatic reveal of these intimidating father figures, only...they're all the sweetest, most lovable dorky dads you ever did see.

In Madeleine Byrne's take on the trend, she reveals her sweater-wearing father as he giddily discusses all the things he loves about shopping at Costco. Watch out, bad boys!

"Stay away if you hate a good deal i guess," she joked.

@madeleinebyrnee

Stay away if you hate a good deal i guess

User Jackie McLoon ups the ante, showing off not one, but two threatening dads. They're promptly shown dancing around, wearing silly outfits, and even blowing bubbles outside for fun. Scary!

"mess with me I dare you," McLoon writes.

@loonymcloony

mess with me I dare you. #lgbtq #fyp

Definitely don't mess with Eunice Cycle, whose dad will make you a mean cup of his famous Chinese soup.

Cycle loves to torture her adorable dad with these videos. In another, she teases, "Cheat on me? This is my dad," to which he responds with a peace sign, a laugh, and a "Yes, cheat on me, too."

Oh, Dad. Never change.

@eunice.cycle

TikTok · Eunice Cycle🧋

In another spin on the meme, a girl reveals her smiling dad dancing goofily in an apron. Yep, definitely don't want to mess with her! If only because you could never live with yourself if you broke her sweet father's heart.

@sweetmemesaremadeofgeese

#meme #memes #funny #funnyvideos #dad #daughter #cheat #cheater

The trend has been going strong for five years now, evolving slowly over time. By now there are hundreds of videos of girls and women doing their own take on the joke, and commenters continue to eat it up.

"having a dad like this was my dream growing up.," one commenter wrote about Madeleine Byrne's Costco-loving father.

"They will hit ya with 'I’m not mad, just disappointed' and we all know that hurts the worst," someone wrote about Jackie McLoon's double dads.

"your dads the loveliest man ever i would never mess with you for fear that it would upset him," a commenter told Eunice Cycle about her soup connoisseur dad.

The violent and threatening overprotective father archetype comes from a place of love, really, but it's really not the best template for what a positive male role model should look like.

I mean, who wouldn't be worried for their daughter in a world where domestic violence, sexual assault, and even infidelity are so prevalent?

But the answer to that violence is not more violence. Worse, the looming, terrifying father trope infantilizes woman and suggests they can't be trusted to make their own decisions. It treats them like property, something to be guarded and given away by men. And, believe it or not, it unnecessarily demonizes young boys and men.

Truth be told, there are other and better ways to protect your daughter. The dads in these videos may not be physically imposing or even have a mean bone in their bodies, but making your girls feel safe and loved, modeling gentle and positive masculinity, and being an active and affectionate presence in their lives—now that's how it's done!

Canva Photos

Having kids decreases your quality of life and marital satisfaction, but that doesn't mean you can't be happy.

For decades now there's been one great question looming over society: Does having kids make you happier?

Most studies show that, perhaps surprisingly, people without children tend to be happier, or have more life satisfaction. And when you really think about it, it makes sense why. Being child-free eases your finances and allows you more time to pursue friends, romance, hobbies, travel, adventure, and career aspirations. Having children makes your immediate quality of life and marital satisfaction go down temporarily, or in some cases, permanently. The Surgeon General even recently issued an advisory warning that parental stress is a major public health issue.

But there are three factors that might turn the tide. In the right circumstances, the joy and immense satisfaction of raising children can overcome all the associated stressors and lead to incredible joy and happiness. Other studies from around the globe prove that you might just be a happy parent if:

parents, parenting, moms, dads, children, kids, family, love, stress, happiness, studies, research When your kids grow up and move out, it's like you've won: That's when the happiness really kicks in. Photo by Esther Ann on Unsplash

1. Your kids have moved out

A study from Heidelberg University in Germany specifically looked at happiness in people aged 50 and older. What they found makes a lot of sense.

People who have children were happier than those without, but only in the older age group, and only when those grown children no longer lived at home. Drilling down, the research found that when children become a source of "social enjoyment" rather than stress, life satisfaction increases dramatically while symptoms of depression decrease.

You can think of it as finally getting to enjoy the fruits of your hard labor. After spending decades teaching, nurturing, and shaping your children, your twilight years is when you get to really enjoy them as fully-fledged people who enrich your lives. While there's lots of joy and fun and happiness to be found in the younger years, those years are also marred with financial and other stressors which can subdue our overall happiness.

2. You have a lot of money AND good work/life balance


parents, parenting, moms, dads, children, kids, family, love, stress, happiness, studies, research Parents struggle to make enough money while devoting time to caring for and enjoying their kids. Photo by Tim Gouw on Unsplash

One study out of Bocconi University in Milan, Italy found that "Parents are happier than non-parents ... as long as parents feel they can handle their work pressures to find work/life balance and they have the financial and other resources they need."

Oh, is that all?

Some estimates say it costs roughly $24,000 per year to raise a child, on average. A family with three kids would need to make about $75,000 just to cover the absolute bare minimum food and childcare costs — yowza! The costs are more when they're young (daycare, childcare, diapers, toys) but it never stops being expensive. Parenting is also extremely time-consuming, requiring several hours per day of childcare and extra housework for most families.

The impossible conundrum that many parents find themselves in is somehow having enough money and enough time to do it all. It's easy to see that if you can somehow solve that puzzling equation, yeah, you'd be a heck of a lot happier. Easier said than done!

3. You don't live in the United States

parents, parenting, moms, dads, children, kids, family, love, stress, happiness, studies, research Parents in Spain, Norway, Sweden, Portugal, and more are enjoying more time off to spend with family. Photo by Mauro Lima on Unsplash

In 2016, The Council of Contemporary Families wanted to look into whether parental discontent was a global phenomenon or not. So, they studied parents and non-parents from 22 different countries to see if they could find any differences in life satisfaction.

The report found that parents in countries like Norway, Hungary, Portugal, Finland, Sweden and Spain were shown to be happier than non-parents.

And yet, according to Time Magazine, "Of the 22 countries the researchers studied, America has the biggest happiness differential between parents and the child-free."

The report specifically cites the high cost of childcare for young children and the limited amount of paid leave Americans receive—and not just parental leave, but simple vacation time. Countries like Spain and Portugal mandate anywhere from 22-30 paid leave days per year, while Americans average about 11. That allows for significantly less time to actually enjoy time with your kids, and has a big impact on our happiness, or lack thereof.

Of course, happiness can be measured in a lot of different ways. Is happiness a blissful feeling of freedom and joy? Or is it a deep satisfaction and sense of purpose in your life? Or maybe a combination of the two?

What the overall body of research seems to show is that there are many different paths to happiness, whether you choose to have children or not. Finding joy and satisfaction in your life as a parent might be considered "hard-mode." There are a lot of obstacles working against you, especially in America, but the research is beginning to give us some clues about how we can get there.

This article originally appeared in May.