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“A balm for the soul”
  review on Goodreads
GOOD PEOPLE Book
upworthy

fathers

Family

Experienced dads share the 'superpowers' fatherhood bestowed upon them

From ninja-like reflexes to upping your grilling game…

Your grilling powers enhance exponentially.

One of the little known perks of becoming a parent is that you develop honest-to-goodness, real-life superpowers. Those of us who have physically borne babies know this on a primal level, and mom superpowers are naturally touted for their miraculous nature. For dads, those powers tend to emerge a little later and in different ways.

Dad superpowers may not involve growing an entire human being from scratch inside their own bodies, but they've still got them. Some may overlap with mom powers, but there are certain things that dads do that are uniquely oriented to fatherhood.

A soon-to-be-father tapped Reddit with this adorably curious question: "My girlfriend is due with our first-born in 6 weeks and I already feel the power of the dad-joke getting stronger with every day. What other superpowers and abilities have I got to look forward to?" and the dads delivered.


The ability to sleep and watch TV at the same time

Sleep becomes a bit of a mystery once you have kids. You basically never sleep but also are always sleeping.

"Being able to be asleep yet also still be watching that on TV."

"Can confirm. My dad would be draped over the couch full-on snoring throughout the entirety of a movie he's never seen and could give you a full summary of the movie so far without ever opening his eyes."

"That's because while caring for a newborn, you don't sleep. Instead, when given the opportunity, you go directly into a coma."

"Been a dad for seven years now, this superpower just came to me over the summer."

"Dad snoring loudly. Reach for remote—'Don’t touch that I am watching that show.'"

Sensing when a kid is doing something they shouldn't

You gain the ability to interpret silence and certain sounds as trouble with 95% accuracy.

"You will be able to sense when your child has done something wrong from miles away."

"Finally some peace and quiet... Wait."

"This, my 3 year old really thinks I have eyes in the back of my head."

"When my kids play together I can tell by the sound of the laughs if someone is doing something naughty. I like fun, but that sounds like too much fun."

Spouse annoyance

Blame it on the sleep deprivation, but it's a thing.

"Your ability to annoy your significant other will never be stronger."

"This is easily the most accurate."

"UNLIMITED POWAHHHHH."

"Pro tip after she has the baby mention how hard that day was on you."

Grill, baby, grill

Gas or charcoal? You'll have an opinion, believe it.

"Your grilling game."

"My father grilled, my father's father grilled, and now it is my time."

"This spatula has been passed down for generations..."

"The grill is a refuge away from the house and kids. When it's not enough, get a smoker. 'Sorry sweetie, it's a 12-hour brisket recipe that needs careful monitoring. I'll be outside; you watch the kids.'"

Adoration of your offspring

Even if you think you don't like kids much, your own kids will be amazing. And vice versa.

"The ability to be incredibly funny and interesting to your kid regardless of how crippling your social anxiety is."

"This for real. Everyone, including me, pretty much thought I wouldn't be such a great dad because I generally don't like people. Don't like talking to them, don't like listening to them, don't like being in the same room with them. I can talk to my kids forever about nothing and love it."

"One's own kid is the most wonderful, fascinating creature ever. I sometimes think that other children aren't that special. Great, yes, but meh. Then I look at mine and realize that -for someone else- they are probably weird and not-so-special. But to me, they're the most amazing thing ever."

Ninja-like reflexes

Probably the most literal superpower you'll have. Literally out here saving lives.

"Weirdly fast reflexes."

"Dad reflexes save more kids than crash helmets and knee pads."

"Based on my son, they develop because babies like to launch themselves headfirst out of your arms believing they can fly like an eagle."

"I caught my daughter midway thru falling down a flight of stairs, scared the crap out of her but no harm done."

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"I caught my kid by the ankle, an inch from smashing his face into a Toys R’ Us floor. Turns out when the 2 year old is standing in the corner of the cart and you take a turn just to show your wife that yes, he is in fact perfectly safe standing up like that, you’d better be ready to make sure he doesn’t die when you take a aisle corner too hard."

Thermostat telepathy

You will become one with the temperature in your home, and any deviation from what it should be will immediately result in your family members being accused of touching the thermostat.

"You will know, as soon as you walk in the house, if someone has been monkeying with the thermostat."

"Telepathically being able to sense the thermostat being touched."

"You will be in tune with the house's thermostats like you've never been before."

"You will become hyper aware of when anyone touches the thermostat. You will literally feel the money being ripped from your wallet."

"Once you start yelling at others for touching the thermostat you’ll know you’ve reached peak Dad-ness."

Having kids is hard, but superpowers are a fun perk. Especially when we can use them to entertain or annoy our children.

A dad got a sweet note from a fellow father after camping with his kids.

One of the hardest parts of being a parent is never being sure whether you're doing a good job or totally bombing it. If you're conscientious enough to even wonder if you're a good parent, you probably are, but parenting entails a million little choices and interactions, and there's always a lingering voice in your head saying, "What if you're really screwing this whole thing up?"

Reassurance and encouragement are always appreciated by parents, but not always received, which is why a note from one camping dad to another has people celebrating the kindness of anonymous strangers.

"You are killing it as a dad."

Someone on Yosemite Reddit thread shared a photo of a handwritten note with the caption, "To the man who left this thoughtful note on my windshield at Lower Pines Campground this weekend, I extend my heartfelt gratitude; your acknowledgment of my efforts to be a good father means a great deal to me."



The note reads:

"Bro,

I camped in the spot behind you last night. Let me just say, you are killing it as a dad. First off, I watched your wife guide you in as you backed up your trailer and nailed it on the first try without any yelling. Then your kids unloaded from the truck and were mild-mannered and well behaved. You told stories around the campfire and I had the pleasure of listening to the sounds of giggles and laughter.

From one dad to another, you are killing it. Keep it up.

P.S. Whatever you cooked for dinner smelled delicious!"

How often do we share these thoughts with strangers, even if we have them? And who wouldn't love to get a surprise bit of praise with specific examples of things we did right?

Everyone needs to hear a compliment once in a while.

So many people found the note to be a breath of fresh air and a good reminder to compliment people when we feel the urge:

"That would make any daddy's eyes water."

"It’s always nice, as a guy, to get a compliment."

"I complimented a guy's glasses at work (I'm also a guy, and btw they were really cool glasses, I wasn't just being nice) and now he keeps trying to tell me where he got his glasses and how I should get some. But I'm just having to be polite because I already have glasses and I'm not in the market. I finally had to tell him I'm not going to buy them lmao I just like them on him.

Made me feel like that's the first compliment he's had in years because he can't stop talking about it. Also I mainly liked the glasses because I think he's cute but he really thinks it's just the glasses haha jokes on him that cute bastard."

"I was in the store with my wife and one of our 'adopted nephews' yesterday (we’re close friends with his parents and we’ve known him and his brother since they were newborns and 2yo, respectively). A woman came up to me at checkout while my wife was running out to the car and said 'I’m not sure what your family relationship is here, but I just have to tell you how nice and refreshing it is to hear all the laughter and joy from the 3 of you. You both seem like such a good influence on him and it warms my heart.' It’s such a small thing but as a dude, I can’t remember the last time someone gave me a compliment in public and it made my freaking day."

"10/10 letter. The and not yelling part gave me a good chuckle lol."

"We need so much more of men getting such heartfelt and sincere compliments. Thanks for sharing. ❤️"

"I’ve never considered leaving a note, but when I see a harmonious family with good parenting, it’s healing for me. My childhood was awful."

"Such an awesome compliment! Even though I don't have children myself, I like to remind my friends too that they're doing great & it brings them happy tears."

"This made me cry. I love that you are getting your 'flowers.' My dad sucked, I’m so glad you are one of the good ones."

"This made me cry too. It’s so hard to be a human. Let alone a parent. Getting a good job sticker every now and then really means a lot these days."

"I'm a big bearded guy and I would cry if I got this note. More people like this, please."

The best part of this story is that no one knows who the dad who wrote the note is, not even the dad who shared it. It wasn't written for clout or notoriety, it wasn't to get attention or make himself look good. No name or signature, just an anonymous act of kindness to uplift a stranger whether he needed it or not.

We all need to hear or read kind things said about us, and sometimes it means even more coming from an anonymous stranger who has nothing to gain by sharing. A good reminder to share it when you feel it—you never know how many people you may move and inspire.

A dad worries about his 3 kids.

Having an unusual name that is easy to make fun of can create a world of pain for children because it makes them an easy target for bullies. But that’s not where the pain ends. As adults, people may not have to deal with bullies, but they have to hear the same tired jokes over and over again. Further, studies show that people with unique last names have a harder time finding employment.

All in all, it’s just an extra burden that makes life unnecessarily challenging.

Some ask, ‘If your name causes much trouble, why not change it?’ However, our names are our connection to our family and history, so it can be hard to change something closely connected to our identities.


A dad on Reddit who believes that his last name is “embarrassing” wasn’t sure how to handle the situation with his children, so he reached out to the NameNerds forum on Reddit for advice.

“I have an embarrassing last name (Roach). It’s always bothered me throughout my childhood and adulthood,” the father wrote. “Now I have kids ages 14, 10, and 5. They’ve said that no one has ever really bullied them over their last name but I still feel bad. I know it’s too late to change their last name. Just seeking some advice or input from anyone who has an embarrassing last name and how they deal with passing the name onto their kids.”

The father began to feel insecure about his name after having children.

“I had accepted my last name and was fine with it. The woman I married accepted the last name too so we gave our kids the name. It was after I had kids that I started to think about it again and wondering about their experiences,” the father wrote.

upset dad, embarrassing names, redditA dad worried about his kids.via Andrea Piacquadio/Pexels

The responses from fellow Redditors supported the father by saying that if the name isn’t affecting the kids, stop worrying about it. Many thought broaching the subject with his kids might worsen the situation.

“Don't borrow trouble,” one commenter wrote. “They don't seem to mind it and you've survived with it thus far, so what's the problem? I agree that Roach isn't the prettiest surname ever, but I've heard before so it doesn't seem that crazy to me.”

Another popular response was simple and to the point: “If they don’t feel bad, then don’t make it weird for them.”

One commenter said that by discussing the topic, he becomes the bully himself.

“If you mention it too much, you may give them the reason they don't currently have to feel insecure about it,” a commenter wrote. “You'd be the one making fun of them for their last name. You'd be their 1st bully. Don't be their 1st bully/the reason they have anxiety.”

“You clearly need to name them Papa,” another joked.

reddit, baby names, childA distracted girl ion school.via RDNE Stock project/Pexels

The father took the comments to heart and realized he should stop worrying about the family name. “I can’t tell if they feel bad or not, but they also don’t complain about it, so maybe that’s a sign that they’re ok,” he reasoned. “I’m probably overthinking it.”

The father’s dilemma is an excellent example of a common problem that many parents have: projecting their insecurities on their children.

"It is natural to worry about your children and have anxieties or worries about them. You want the best for them and do not want them to be burdened with the same issues you faced as a child. However, these thoughts and worries are your own, and you can protect your children from your own fears and concerns if you work on limiting your projection," Heather R. Hayes, LPCC, writes on her website.

Samantha Rodman, PhD, says the best way to stop projecting onto our kids is to realize when it’s happening and ask ourselves why. “Noticing this tendency in yourself is half the battle and the other half is actively engaging in self-talk that counters these negative assumptions,” she writes at HuffPost. “So, you say to yourself, ‘Why is this bothering me? What images or thoughts are running through my head?’”

Man's tearful interview highlights important role dads play

Parents have no problem admitting that their children did not arrive with an instruction manual. Sure, there are books, articles, and people who tout themselves as parenting experts giving advice but there's no one size approach to parenting that gets stuffed in your diaper bag when leaving the hospital. Instead we rely on the proverbial village to help parents figure it out and if there's no village...well...guessing has solved many parenting dilemmas.

But even if parents have the best intentions, some parents are fighting battles that impair their ability to properly care for their children. Be it addiction, mental health conditions or lack of resources, some things override the parental switch that's supposed to flip once you find out a child is on the way. Unfortunately, children born in those circumstances carry the scars well into adulthood.

Actor and comedian D'Lai recently shared a tear-filled podcast episode discussing how having an absent father growing up continues to impact his life as an adult.


In the podcast video uploaded to social media, D'Lai explains that his mother was killed when he was just nine months old and was raised by his grandmother due to his father's absence. At the age of 12, the man was essentially left to care for himself after his grandmother passed away. His tragic beginnings didn't stop him from continuing his education, playing sports and trying to better his life but his father's presence was still missing.

D'Lai shares that at 17 his father explains that his addiction to drugs kept him out of his life, "I needed some answers from him as to why he's absent. His explanation was, he was on drugs. He was wild and doing his thing. I get that, cool. But at some point you have to mature and you say okay, let me be a father to this guy."

As the video goes on, D'Lai shares that after learning his father was planning out his funeral and last wishes, he realized he hasn't healed from the parental absence. The interview quickly took an emotional turn after that revelation causing the adult son to say through tears, "he was supposed to be there." D'Lai has a good relationship with his own sons despite still struggling to connect with his father. It's clear that reliving the instances of broken promises and missed milestones is extremely painful even with all of the personal successes that he's had. The absence of his father during celebratory moments was felt.

The vulnerability D'Lai shows during the podcast has others sharing their gratitude for his willingness to be so exposed publicly. Some viewers shared their own experiences with having an absent father, showing just how important it is for fathers to be an involved parent.

"This proves enough of how big of man you became, Thank you for sharing your truth, the strength and vulnerability . This what makes us men," one person writes.

One man writes in part, "Here I was scrolling watching cute animal videos and things being smushed by a machine then I see this and it transported me back to being a kid having similar experiences. I remember when I graduated high school not a single member of my family was there. My mom wanted to be there but my uncle was working late and couldn’t bring her. I was crushed man. I watched everybody else smile and lock eyes with their family in the crowd while walking across the stage. My baseball team/coaches were there but it wasn’t the same. Sh*t broke me so f**kin bad man I cried in the bathroom right before walking on stage n graduating with honors. Took me so long to process and cope with that feeling of loneliness. My whole childhood I needed my Dad man, it’s so hard for a woman to raise a man and teach him how to be a man. She did the best she could. D, I cried so hard when you said “Look at what I’ve become! Why do you still not want to be a part of my life?” I had to come to terms that some of our Dads had horrible Dads and no one to teach them how to be different or break the cycle. But I swear to God I will give my Kids my all. I’ll be there for every achievement or to catch you when you fall."

"It takes an immense amount of strength for a man to share his pain and be vulnerable with others. This is going to help heal yourself and others more then u know," another commenter shares.

"You just healed and saved some lives sharing. Love," someone says.

The video undeniably struck a chord with many people, providing a space for others to share their own pain, comfort those who need it and wish others well. Hopefully by sharing his story more people with absent parents will begin their own healing process.