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An awesome dad explains the 5 revelations he's had raising 2 girls.

'I didn't want to raise girls … until I did.'

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Recently, someone asked me if I wished I had boys instead of girls.

Of course the answer was an emphatic, "NO." But did I always feel that way? I'd be lying if I said yes.

First, let's rewind a few years back. When my wife showed me the positive pregnancy test for our first baby in 2009, I blurted out, "Awesome! I just hope it's a boy!"

Fail.

I figured that if I had a son, I could teach him how to play basketball, throw a punch, and play in the dirt. With a girl, I'd be stuck playing dress up and other "girly crap."

Epic fail.

After a few weeks of “I want a boy so badly" talk, our world came crashing down. If you've followed my blog, Daddy Doin' Work, you'll remember that our first pregnancy didn't end well, and it was pretty devastating for us. After months of grieving, I realized that the only thing I ever wanted was to be a dad — not just a dad to a little boy. I cursed myself for being so stupid and immature, and I prayed for redemption — which I fortunately achieved. As the story goes, we got pregnant again in 2010, and there was no “I hope it's a boy" nonsense this time. As a matter of fact, tears of joy streamed down my face when the doctor told us we were having a little girl.

Since January 2011, my oldest daughter has introduced me to a brand of love that I never knew existed.

Me with Reiko (my 2-year-old) and Emiko (my 4-year-old). All photos here provided by me.

I truly believe that having two little girls has transformed me into a better, stronger, and smarter man than I would've been without them.

Here are some reasons why:

Revelation #1: Everything I could do with a boy, I can do with my daughters.

I can play basketball, teach them how to throw a punch, and play in the dirt. Yes, I know that's a big fat "duh" for many of you, but I'm a recovering knucklehead with minimal relapses, so please humor me. And yes, I'm going to teach them much more than those three things – but I promise you that I will teach them those three things.

Revelation #2: My daughters will use me as a benchmark for how men should behave.

The best dads I know (and I know plenty of them) view their day job titles as what they do, but their jobs never become who they are. They are dads and husbands first and foremost.

When I worked a full-time job in corporate America, I remember that after a day of sitting on conference calls, attending project meetings, and hitting aggressive deadlines, the only thing I wanted to do was rest when I get home. Then I thought about my daughters. I'll be damned if they looked at me and thought, “Daddy doesn't cook, give us baths, read bedtime stories, or change our diapers. He just sits around while Mommy does everything. Maybe that's how all men should act and that's what I should expect from a future husband."

Please know that I'm not a robot. Oftentimes I feel like grunting myself into unconsciousness after reading "The Cat in the Hat" for the ninth time in a row, or sometimes I'm so tired that I'll mess up a batch of chili so badly that it could fertilize your front lawn. But I do it anyway because I want my baby girls to expect their daddy to be actively involved – always.

Revelation #3: Being "girly" is just a myth.

Nothing better than a daddy-daughter pedicure date.

What does girly even mean, anyway? Would my kid be less girly if she dressed up as Spider-Man for Halloween instead of a princess? (That's exactly what she did, by the way.) Would she be less girly if she wanted to tackle little boys on the football field instead of taking ballet classes? Not to me.

That would be like saying a dude who can bench-press 250 pounds is more manly than a guy who sings songs to his kids before bed. I've learned that being a girl can be whatever the hell a girl wants it to be, and I will never limit my daughters when it comes to that. Additionally, I want to introduce my daughters to other women who are crushing it in male-dominated fields (executive leadership, sports journalism/broadcasting, coding, law enforcement, etc.) so they'll understand that it's possible to do anything their little hearts desire.

Revelation #4: Being loud is a good thing.

And by loud, I mean believing in something so deeply that they'll shout from the rooftops about it without worrying about what haters, naysayers, and other clowns have to say about them.

In a world where women are still fighting for equality, I want my girls to speak up in the living room, classroom, and board room in order to be heard. Forget the foolishness about being viewed as "pushy," "bossy," or "bitchy" for having an opinion or for taking a stance. Closed mouths don't get fed.

Revelation #5: I'm built for raising girls in today's society, or at least I think I am.

We couldn't resist a Disney moment.

Let's be real — girls have to deal with a lot of challenging things today. Pressure to be liked by others, pressure to have sex, body image, mean girls, teen pregnancy, rape ... I'm sure I missed some, but I'm getting depressed listing them out. I can't protect them from all of the ills of society, but I can ensure they'll have the confidence and smarts (both book smarts and street smarts) to thrive in this crazy world we live in.

Just like I'm fighting for dads to get a seat at the table when it comes to parenting issues, I want women to have a seat at the table when it comes to issues that affect them — and not just for my daughters, but for your daughters, too.

Yes, I'm sure I'd be just as happy if I had boys instead of girls. But there's something special about the bond between a dad and his daughters that cannot be explained, and I wouldn't change that bond for anything.

Now if you'll excuse me, the mall has a half-price sale on toddler jeggings.

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National Geographic Documentary Films
National Geographic Documentary Films
Family

Nat Geo's 'Blink' tracks a family finding beauty while facing blindness as they travel the globe

“Let's go all in and fill their visual memory with as much beauty as we can."

via Edith Lemay/NatGeo

Mia, Leo, Colin, and Laurent Pelletier pose on top of their camper van in front of adouble rainbow while in Mongolia.

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“Blink,” a new film by National Geographic Documentary Films shows how a family with four children, three of whom are going blind, embraces life in the face of an uncertain future. It’s a testament to the resilience of the Lemay-Pelletier family but also a reminder for all of us to seize the day because all our futures are uncertain.

Edith Lemay and Sébastien Pelletier are the parents of Mia, a 13-year-old girl, and three boys: Léo, 11, Colin, 9, and Laurent, 7. Over the last six years, they’ve learned that Mia and the two youngest boys have retinitis pigmentosa, a rare genetic disease in which the cells of the retina slowly die. As the disease progresses, the person develops “tunnel vision” that shrinks until very little vision remains.

The diagnosis devastated the parents. "The hardest part with the diagnosis was inaction. There's nothing they can do about it. There's no treatment,” Edith says in the film.

However, even though the parents couldn’t affect the progress of the disease, they could give their children’s senses an epic experience that would benefit them for a lifetime.

“We don’t know how fast it’s going to go, but we expect them to be completely blind by mid-life,” said the parents. Mia’s impairment advisor suggested they fill her visual memory with pictures from books. “I thought, I’m not going to show her an elephant in a book; I’m going to take her to see a real elephant,” Edith explains in the film. “And I’m going to fill her visual memory with the best, most beautiful images I can.”

The Pelletier family (from left): Mia, Sebastien, Colin, Edith Lemay, Laurent and Leo inKuujjuaq, Canada.via National Geographic/Katie Orlinsky

This realization led to an inspiring year-long journey across 24 countries, during which every family member experienced something on their bucket list. Mia swam with dolphins, Edith rode a hot-air balloon in Cappadocia, and Léo saw elephants on safari.

Colin realized his dream of sleeping on a moving train while Sébastien saw the historic site of Angkor Wat.

“We were focusing on sights,” explains Pelletier. “We were also focusing a lot on fauna and flora. We’ve seen incredible animals in Africa but also elsewhere. So we were really trying to make them see things that they wouldn’t have seen at home and have the most incredible experiences.”

Cameras followed the family for 76 days as they traveled to far-flung locales, including Namibia, Mongolia, Egypt, Laos, Nepal and Turkey. Along the way, the family made friends with local people and wildlife. In a heartbreaking scene, the boys wept as the family had to leave behind a dog named Bella he befriended in the mountains of Nepal.

But the film isn't just about the wonders of nature and family camaraderie. The family's trip becomes a “nightmare” when they are trapped in a cable car suspended hundreds of feet above the Ecuadorian forest for over 10 hours.

annapurna range, blink, nat geoLeo, Laurent, Edith, Colin, Mia, and Sebastien look out at the mountains in the Annapurna range.via MRC/Jean-Sébastien Francoeur

As expected, NatGeo’s cinematographers beautifully capture the family's journey, and in the case of “Blink,” this majestic vision is of even greater importance. In some of the film's quietest moments, we see the children taking in the world's wonders, from the vast White Desert in Egypt to a fearless butterfly in Nepal, with the full knowledge that their sight will fail one day.

Along the way, the family took as many pictures as possible to reinforce the memories they made on their adventure. “Maybe they’ll be able to look at the photographs and the pictures and they will bring back those stories, those memories, of the family together,” Edith says.

But the film is about more than travel adventures and the pain of grief; ultimately, it’s about family.

“By balancing [the parents’ grief] with a more innocent and joyous tale of childlike wonder and discovery, we felt we could go beyond a mere catalog of locations and capture something universal,” the directors Edmund Stenson and Daniel Roher, said in a statement. “Keeping our camera at kid-height and intimately close to the family, we aimed to immerse the audience in the observational realities of their daily life, as well as the subtle relationships between each of them. This is a film built on looks, gestures and tiny details—the very fabric of our relationships with one another.”

Ultimately, “Blink” is a great film to see with your loved ones because it’s a beautiful reminder to appreciate the wonders of our world, the gift of our senses and the beauty of family.

The film will open in over 150 theaters in the U.S. and Canada beginning Oct. 4 and will debut on National Geographic Channel and stream on Disney+ and Hulu later this year. Visit the “Blink” website for more information.

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Science

Ecologist 'burst into tears' seeing endangered gliders using boxes designed to save them

A third of the greater gliders' remaining habitat was destroyed in the Australian wildfires, and researchers didn't know if their high-tech box idea would work.

Mark Gillow/Flickr

Greater gliders are endangered in Australia and rely on old-growth tree hollows to make their nests.

When a team of Australian researchers started checking the high-tech boxes they'd installed to help save endangered greater gliders, they weren't sure what they were going to find. The hope was that the tree-dwelling marsupials would use them for nesting—a replacement for the tree hollows they normally nest in—but no one knew whether or not the creatures would take to them.

So when Dr. Kita Ashman, Threatened Species and Climate Adaptation Ecologist at WWF-Australia, found a glider in the second box she checked, she was thrilled.

"I just burst into tears, I was so surprised and so happy," she told ABC News Australia.

Greater gliders are nocturnal marsupials that live in old-growth forests of eastern Australia. They have large ears, fluffy fur, long tails, and they can glide up to 100 meters at a time. The species is only found in Australia.

"I grew up looking at greater gliders all throughout the Dandenong Ranges. So they have a really special place in my heart," said Dr. Ashman told ANU.

The special nesting boxes were designed and created through a partnership between Australian National University (ANU), Greening Australia and the World Wide Fund for Nature-Australia after bushfires destroyed a third of the greater gliders' remaining habitat. The tree hollows that greater gliders rely on to nest can take over 100 years to form, according to ANU, so it's not like they can just find some new trees to live in when their homes are destroyed.

Nesting boxes that are commonly used for wildlife aren't a good fit for greater gliders, as the thin walls and lack of thermal protection can result in gliders overheating. (Heat-stressed gliders will slow their eating, which can be life-threatening, according to ANU.) The high-tech boxes in this project are insulated and include a non-toxic, heat-reflective, fire-resistant coating to keep gliders safe.

"I've affectionately been calling this design the Goldilocks box because we hope it will keep greater gliders not too hot and not too cold and will help to increase the species' resilience in a changing climate," Ashman said in July 2022.

"Producing and installing high-quality nest boxes is costly," added ANU research fellow Dr. Kara Youngentob, "so this project is very important because it will help us understand if expensive interventions like nest boxes are the best use of funding in our urgent mission to save greater gliders."

It appears that their efforts are paying off.

"What we didn't know was whether these boxes worked and whether they have an impact on the glider population," Dr. Youngentob told ABC News Australia. "Much to our delight, within a few months of them going up they are already being used by gliders, so we know the individuals themselves like them and use them."

According to Youngentob, greater gliders are the largest gliding marsupial at risk of extinction. More than 200 nesting boxes have been installed in Victoria's East Gippsland and in Tallaganda National Park in New South Wales. Youngentob told ABC News Australia that this project will help researchers learn more about how many of the species are left in the wild.

The quiet, nocturnal marsupial faces threats from climate change and deforestation in addition to the wildfires that ravaged Australia in 2020. Their population has fallen by 80% in the past 20 years and the species reached endangered status in July of 2022.

"They're a treasure for this country." Dr. Youngentob told ANU. "And I think the more people know about them, the more that they will fall in love with them and want to protect them too."


This article originally appeared on 1.20.23

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Equality

Musician son adds real trombone sound effects to his mom's daily life and it's hilarious

Pete Montzingo has gained a huge following joyfully advocating for his unique family.

Peet Montzingo/YouTube

Peet Montzingo following his mom around with a trombone is delightful family entertainment.

Peet Montzingo and his mom have the most delightful relationship, as evidenced by their joint videos on Montzingo's social media platforms. And one viral video sums up the sort of fun Montzingo and his unique family engage in.

The video is a compilation of clips of Montzingo following his mom around with a trombone, making silly sound effects as she goes about doing chores and normal daily life things. It's simple and silly, which is what makes it so wholesome. People can't get enough of their gentle bantering.

Watch:

The impromptu Star Wars duel is the best, isn't it?

Montzingo has millions of followers on YouTube and TikTok, where he regularly shares videos about life in his family. At 6 foot 1 inch tall, Montzingo stands out—literally—from his parents and siblings.

As his mini bio from IMDB reads:

"Peet is from Seattle, Washington. He is the only average height member of his family (his mom, dad, brother and sister are little people), which immediately put him in the media spotlight growing up. In February of 2019, he scored a spot as a touring/recording artist in the band 5WEST, touring South Africa, Spain, and Europe. They did their first arena tour as the supporting act for Boyzone autumn of 2019. During the pandemic in 2020, Peet cultivated a massive presence on Tiktok and continues to post his wholesome videos alongside his singing career."

Montzingo advocates for little people in a way that is humorous and light-hearted in addition to being educational. For instance, watch him and his mom illustrate how to (and how not to) talk with short people:

@peetmontzingo

i actually get this question all the time so hope this helps!!! @queenmamadrama #little

"I actually get this question all the time so hope this helps!!!" he wrote in the caption of the video demonstrating various cringey ways to talk to a little person before ultimately showing that you should just stand normally.

Montzingo addresses lots of questions people have in his videos, including whether or not he's actually adopted. This makeover video with his mom is surefire proof that he's got her genes, as the resemblance at the end is uncanny.

@peetmontzingo

low key this process was traumatizing😭 @queenmamadrama

What makes Montzingo's videos so popular is the way he and his family use humor to destigmatize dwarfism and normalize the lives of little people. His mom's house is designed for little people living, with short counters, sinks and furniture, and Montizingo laughs at his challenges as a tall person when he visits her. It's what he grew up with, however, and he shows how much he loves his family and the physical differences between them.

Montzingo's unique role in his family means he can help bridge gaps as an advocate for little people, and it's great to see him doing so in such a wholesome and entertaining way.


This article originally appeared on 12.9.21

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Pop Culture

Guy who sounds remarkably like Michael Jackson gets 27 million views on first TikTok video

Holy moly that voice.

Constru-centro/Wikimedia Commons

Brandon Conway sounds remarkably like Michael Jackson when he sings.

When Michael Jackson died 13 years ago, the pop music world lost a legend. However markedly mysterious and controversial his personal life was, his contributions to music will go down in history as some of the most influential of all time.

Part of what made him such a beloved singer was the uniqueness of his voice. From the time he was a young child singing lead for The Jackson 5, his high-pitched vocals stood out. Hearing him sing live was impressive, his pitch-perfect performances always entertaining.

No one could ever really be compared to MJ, or so we thought. Out of the blue, a guy showed up on TikTok recently with a casual performance that sounds so much like the King of Pop it's blowing people away.

Brandon Conway posted his first TikTok video ever on July 24, and in less than three weeks it's been viewed more than 27 million times. It's just him standing in a parking lot snapping his fingers and singing "The Way You Make Me Feel," but when he opens his mouth, whoa.

As he keeps going, it gets even more whoa. Then he hits Jackson's signature "he he" and the whoa turns into what?!?

Take a listen:

@brandonconway11

First post on tiktok let me know what you guys think! More videos coming soon feom mj to country to rock so yall be sure to stay tuned!#fyp #singer #usherchallenge @usher @tpain #letsgo #firstvideo

Uncanny, right? If you need a reminder of how Jackson himself sounded when he sang it, here's a live performance from Auckland during his 1996 world tour.

Very impressive. You can follow Brandon Conway on TikTok to hear more from him.


This article originally appeared on 8.10.22

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Wellness

Everyone should know this international hand signal for 'Help Me'

Knowing this discreet-but-distinct hand signal could save a life.

Image via YouTube/Canadian Women's Foundation

One of the scariest things about being trapped in a situation with a dangerous person is how many people don't notice. Abusers, kidnappers, traffickers, and the like often monitor and control a person so tightly that asking for help seems impossible.

There are countless stories of people managing to slip someone a note saying they need help or signaling in some other way that they're in an unsafe situation. Wouldn't it be great if there was a way that they could quickly, yet discreetly, alert people that they were in trouble without flagging the person putting them in danger?

There is. It's the international signal for help, and it's going viral for all the right reasons.

A video shared by Indian restauranter Harjinder Singh Kukreja shows several scenarios in which a person needs help and signals with a simple hand gesture we all need to learn to recognize—or if necessary, use ourselves.

- YouTubewww.youtube.com

In the video, a woman on a balcony, a man at the door during a delivery, and a girl walking down a hallway with a man all give the signal without their abuser knowing.

The Signal for Help campaign was launchedby the Canadian Women's Foundation last April, and has gained traction around the world thanks to the reach of partners such as the Women's Funding Network, the world's largest philanthropic network for girls and women. With the coronavirus pandemic getting into full swing, it was clear that people were going to be spending a lot more time on video calls and people in abusive situations were going to be spending a lot more time with their abusers. The Signal for Help initiative was a way to discreetly communicate via video call that you were in a dangerous situation without having to say a word.

As we saw in the first video, the signal is useful for more than just Zoom calls. The only issue is that this signal only works if people recognize it and know what it means. That's why people are sharing the video and encouraging others to do the same.

What's great about the signal is that it can be done discreetly. Since it only requires one hand, it's more convenient than the American Sign Language sign for "help," which requires two hands. It's simple, subtle, and swift enough to be easy to use in lots of different circumstances (as we see in the videos) but also distinct enough that those who know it will recognize it instantly. It's even something we can teach young children.

We know that domestic violence is a going concern, especially during the pandemic when people are trapped at home with their abusers. We also know that human trafficking is a billion-dollar global industry and that victims are sometimes being transported in broad daylight. The more tools we have for getting people help the better, but first we need to know when someone actually needs help.

Learning and sharing this hand sign far and wide will help spread awareness, enable more victims of violence to ask for help in a safe way, and hopefully even save lives.


This article originally appeared on 3.21.21

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Art

Photographer captures water droplets—'liquid sculptures'—that look like they're alive

Absolutely breathtaking.

Ronny Tertnes/Facebook

Ronny Tertnes' "liquid sculptures" are otherworldly.

Human beings have sculpted artwork out of all kinds of materials throughout history, from clay to concrete to bronze. Some sculpt with water in the form of ice, but what if you could create sculptures with small drops of liquid?

Norwegian artist Ronny Tertnes does just that. His "liquid sculptures" look like something from another planet or another dimension, while at the same time are entirely recognizable as water droplets.

I mean, check this out:


According to SLR Lounge, Tertnes uses ultra high-speed photography, flash rigs, smoke and different types of liquids to create and capture his colorful split-second sculptures. He mixes water with various substances to create texture, color and movement in his photos, and the effect is otherworldly. He does some editing in Photoshop as well. The form in his photographs comes from the unique movement of a single droplet, which can end up looking like a human, a flower, an alien or an abstract glass sculpture. Sometimes they look like people dancing. Just incredible.

Tertnes has shared many of his photos on Facebook and on his website, where you can purchase prints, calendars and more featuring these beauties:

It's fun to ask what other people see when they look at these images.

Amazingly enough, Tertnes has described himself as a "hobby photographer."

Sometimes he creates mirror images that end up looking like animals or alien creatures.

If you're into (or have a marginal understanding of and interest in) NFTs, Tertnes has a Liquid Sculptures NFT store as well.

And finally, here's a slideshow where you can hear him play the guitar and look at his beautiful liquid sculptures. Enjoy.

This article originally appeared on 1.14.22

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