Most of us want to share our life with a partner who is our best friend. But what if that best friend isn't a romantic partner? Why should that stand in that way of having what most people long for? The truth is: Finding an enduring kind of love is special, and something worth investing in, even if it's not romantic love. And for April Lexi Lee (aka @psychottie on Tikok), it's the kind of love shared between her and her best friend of 11 years.
"This is for everyone who believes that their soulmate is their best friend," Lee said in her video urging viewers to "normalize platonic life partners."
@psychottie On some @cultclare & @jazmelodyy type shit. #platoniclifepartner♬ original sound - April Lexi Lee
She continued: "My best friend is my soulmate. She's the platonic love of my life. She's who I choose to do life with. After 5 years of long distance, we finally manifested a way for her to move to LA [from Singapore] to be with me."
Lee posted another video of the two reuniting, and it feels like something out of a Nicholas Sparks novel. The two run into each other's arms for a long embrace, with the caption "what a long term, stable, healthy partnership can look like in 2021."
@psychottie Don’t mind me just romanticising my #platoniclifepartnership 🥰 @hotmilkwong #platoniclifepartner#bostonmarriage#tiktoksg🇸🇬#tiktoksg♬ Home - Edith Whiskers
Lee noted that her friends and family called them both "crazy," to make such a big move, to which Lee responded, "we would not be questioned as much about this if we were lovers."
It's a valid point. We swoon over movies where the leading man makes it to the airport just in time to profess his forever feelings to a woman he's known for like three days, but somehow this 11-year relationship doesn't warrant such a gesture?
Lee argued that their friendship of more than a decade had lasted longer than most couples her age. And more importantly, they were committed to each other and shared a vision for the future. "We see a life together," she explained. "We wanna buy a house together, we wanna start a retirement fund together, we might even adopt a child together and raise it as friends."
Even though this dynamic is not seen as a traditional in our society, many have done it (and done it well). People were even inspired to share their own "PLP" success stories in the comments:
"I was raised by my mom and her best friend (mom #2). They love each other in a platonic way and do everything together."
"Me and my bestie are buying a house together this year. We have already lived together for 15 years."
"My boss did that with her friend. They even bought a house together. They're still going strong after 35 years. It can be done."
Not only does Lee normalize this relationship, she romanticizes it. Just look at the beautiful love book she created when their relationship status was still long distance. It's filled with cutesy cartoon images and funny heartfelt messages like:
"I can't wait for the day you finally come.
I'll share my space with you, and your many alarms.
To learn how to adult and how to survive.
To go on road trips with you.
I even look forward to you pushing my limits, because we know to be sick of each other is a privilege."
Seriously, find yourself a person who looks at you the way Lee does her bestie, platonic or otherwise.
@psychottie Reply to @psychottie we so cute and we out here 🤩 @hotmilkwong #platoniclifepartner#longdistancerelationship#ldr @LoveBook ♬ Monkeys Spinning Monkeys - Kevin MacLeod
"My mind is blown right now. It just never occurred to me this was an option, and I love it and I want it!" wrote one person in the comments (um, yeah, same here!). This is why normalizing all kinds of healthy relationships is vital. We're better able to see what's possible.
The bottom line is: Romantic love is not king. As Lee put it, "If marriage is not for you and you want to start a life with your best friend, then do it!" What really matters is finding someone who excites and challenges you, who promotes a sense of health and safety, and who you're happy to "do life" with.
Excuse me while I go make a love book for my bestie.