+
Sign up for
The Upworthiest
Our top stories of the day delivered straight to your inbox.
upworthy

reddit

Family

People are sharing the marriage advice that 'sounded absurd' but is actually really helpful

Here are 19 of the best responses.

via Pexels

Work at it every single day folks.

The best advice isn’t always obvious, or else we would have thought of it ourselves. It often comes out of left field and can be counterintuitive. When it comes to marriage, the best advice tends to be centered around keeping a focus on the long game.

One of the best pieces of marriage advice I ever received was, “Buy her a bottle of shampoo from time to time without her asking.” Now, that doesn’t mean to get shampoo specifically, but just pick up something here and there to show you care and are thinking about her.


Marriage, if done right, is forever, so that often means taking a loss in the short-term to enjoy the long-term benefits of a happy life with someone. This is great as a concept but in practice can be pretty darn hard, day in and day out.

Hence why about 50% of American marriages end in divorce.

Reddit user thecountnotthesaint put out a call to the AskMen forum for some of the best marriage advice that “sounded absurd” but was actually helpful.

The question was inspired by some advice the Reddit user had received from their father, who claimed that a king-sized bed is the key to a happy marriage. "I'll be damned if that wasn't one of the best decisions we made aside from getting married and having kids," they wrote.

A lot of the advice was about being careful not to escalate small disagreements into larger arguments that could turn personal and ugly. A lot of people think that to have a successful marriage means being able to compromise and to let things go quickly.

Here are some of the best responses to the question, “What random marriage advice sounded absurd but was actually spot on helpful?”

1.

"Dad said 'Be kind even if you’re not feeling it. Maybe especially if you’re not feeling it.'” — semantician

2. 

"At my wedding, my wife's Grandmother offered so funny, weird, solid advice. She said, 'If you get angry with each other, go to bed naked and see if you can resolve it before you go to sleep.' So far, so good. Anniversary on Monday!" — drizzyjdracco

3. 

"The advice I’ve given people is this: if you can go grocery shopping with your person and have the best time ever, you have yourself a keeper. It’s all about making the best of the mundane things, because after years of being together, life becomes predictable. You’ll need to keep the spice going, regardless of what you’re doing. Source: married 15 years." — LemonFizzy0000

4. 

"My grandfather told me 'Never go to bed with dirty dishes in the sink.' What I learned is that he would always help my grandma and that is when they did their most talking." — t480

5. 

"When our kid was about to be born, someone told me to change the first diaper. If you can handle the first one, the others will be easy.' So I did. I didn't know what I was doing, so I asked the nurse at the hospital to teach me, and I changed the first several few diapers while my wife recovered from a difficult labor. The advice was correct, no other diaper was as disgusting as the first one. It got very easy and I never minded doing it, and my wife was really really grateful. And I loved that I could take on some of the parenting chores, since there was so much that she was the only one... equipped to provide." — wordserious

6. 

"Focus on tackling the problem, not each other." — bobbobbobbobbob123

7. 


"Don’t have too high of expectations. My dad told us that, but we found most of our early fights were when one or the other had unspoken expectations of the other or marriage. It is positively life changing to be married, and an amazing experience, but still life goes on."— nopants_ranchdance

8. 

"Marry him for who he is. Not his potential." — There-is-No-beyond

9. 


"My stepmom just passed away, and dad said something that has profoundly changed my attitude: 'The little things that annoyed me are the things I now miss.' So, like, yea for some reason she squeezes a massive glob of toothpaste which mostly falls into the sink basin and she doesn't wash away the toothpaste spit. If/when she's gone, that little constant annoyance that reminds me she's there will be gone too. Don't nag on the little things, rather, embrace them. (still, let her know she has made progress on other things I've pointed out, as I try to adapt to her wishes)." — drewkungfu

10. 

"Say thank you for day to day things, even taking out the trash, sweeping the floor, or folding laundry. Audibly hearing thank you reinforces the feeling of being appreciated." — BVolatte

11. 

"Randomly give your partner a cold beverage on a hot day. It's the little things that show you care." — Purple12Inchruler

12. 


"You don't just marry her, you marry her whole damn family." — crazypersn

13. 

"One of my colonels told me: 'Just buy two damn pizzas, instead of arguing over the toppings.'"— MgoBlue702

14. 

"Be honest. Don't lie to your partner." — Mikeydeeluxe

15. 

"Don’t marry a woman whose dad calls her 'princess,' because she probably believes it. Much to his regret, my brother ignored this advice from our dad." — Toadie9622

16. 

"My fiance always says that 'just because' flowers are the best kind of flowers." — agaribay1010

17. 

"My Gramps who was married for over 50 yrs said: 'tell her you love her every single day.' Kind of obvious, but I definitely took it to heart." — sorellk

18. 

"Love isn’t about having 'nice feelings for each other.' It’s about acting for the betterment of someone else, even if you don’t feel like it. Emotions will change. Your willingness to treat your spouse a certain way doesn’t have to." — sirplaind

19. 


"Bill Maher said "The three most important words in a relationship aren't 'I love you', they're 'let it go.' Oddly, this has proven to be some of the best relationship advice I've ever heard." — KrssCom


This article originally appeared on 05.30.22

From Your Site Articles
marriage
Joy

Family posts a very chill note to neighbors explaining why their dog is on the roof

“We appreciate your concern but please do not knock on our door.."

via Reddit

Meet Huckleberry the dog.

If you were taking a stroll through a quiet neighborhood and happened to catch a glance of this majestic sight, you might bat an eye. You might do a double take. If you were (somewhat understandably) concerned about this surprising roof-dog's welfare, you might even approach the homeowners to tell them, "Uh, I'm not sure if you know...but there's a...dog...on your ROOF."

Well, the family inside is aware that there's often a dog on their roof. It's their pet Golden, Huckleberry, and he just sorta likes it up there.

To put passersby at ease and ebb the parade of concerned parties knocking on their door, Huckleberry's human put up a note explaining the whole weird scenario to those interested:

pet tricks, Reddit, animals, #hucktheroofdog

There’s a dog on the wooof!

via Reddit

It reads:

"Huckleberry is living up to his name and learned how to jump onto our roof from the backyard. We never leave him in the backyard without someone being at home. He will not jump off unless you entice him with food or a ball!""

We appreciate your concern but please do not knock on our door... we know he's up there! But please feel free to take pictures of him and share with the world! #hucktheroofdog."

Of course, they ended it with a hashtag for photos shared on social media. Also, it seems a little strange that the owners mention that Huck is willing to jump 10 feet off a roof to chase food or a ball, but do nothing to suggest that people refrain from urging their dog to make that (seemingly dangerous) leap. Maybe Huck's got the whole process down to the point it's just not a concern.

This may seem like a pretty odd phenomenon, but not so odd that there isn't a whole corner of Reddit devoted to dogs who just seem to really, really enjoy roofs. It's called r/dogsonroofs, and boy does it ever deliver on that name.


This article originally appeared on 12.05.18

From Your Site Articles
dogs
Pop Culture

People are sharing the most random facts they know. Here are 15 of the most intriguing.

An 18" pizza is more than double the size of a 12" pizza.

via Sydney Troxell/Pexels, Maddie Franz/Pexels, Murray Becker/Wikimedia Commons

The Hindenburg disaster, a slice of pizza and a squirrel.

How is it that some people seem to know a lot of random facts and are great at trivia, while others can’t get a question right while watching “Jeopardy!”? A big reason is curiosity. People interested in many different subjects have a more significant knowledge base than those who do not.

Further, when people are genuinely interested in a subject, they retain knowledge much better than if they heard the information in passing. So, while two students may learn the same thing in class, the genuinely interested one will remember the information, while the other will quickly forget it.

Studies show that curiosity is one of the most significant predictors of having a high IQ.

A Redditor named TechSavvy_Ryan asked the curious folks on the platform to share the facts that “most people don’t know.” The post went viral, inspiring over 8,000 responses in just two days. So, we cobbled together a list of the 15 most intriguing facts so you can wow people at your next trivia night or cocktail party.

Here are 15 facts that “most people don’t know."

1. Hindenburg survivors

"Most the people involved in the Hindenburg disaster lived." — CaligulaMonkey

"It was said 62 of the 97 people survived. You can see them running away in the nick of time as they touched the ground." — Rook2Pawn

2. Freaky fish

"Irukandji jellyfish grow only to about 1 cubic cm in size, but have an incredibly painful sting. One symptom of the sting is a strong impending sense of doom. Victims have begged their doctor to be killed as they were certain they would die anyways." — NikkiRex

3. Dangerous laughter

"You can collapse your lungs from laughing." — ContentTask2032

"So you can technically die from laughing?" -PaptaLopikju-

4. Dark side of cruises

"The amount of murder, rape and suicide that happens on cruise ships. Most of them unresolved, too." — PeacefulKillah

"Most newer cruise ships also operate an onboard morgue, as they are now considered cheaper options to retirement homes. Last time I was on a cruise, a crew member let slip that there were 2 deaths from natural causes." — Kegman83

5. Happy birthday

"A company called Warner Chappell Music collected licensing fees for use of the song 'Happy Birthday to You' all the way until 2015. That’s why characters in movies often sing other songs like 'For He’s a Jolly Good Fellow”'and restaurant chains often have their own birthday songs they sing to customers." — ItsMeCourtney

6. Burial facts

"A burial plot is called a graveyard if it's part of a church lot. It's called a cemetery if separate." — Missusmidas

"The backyard is only a graveyard if they can find the body." — Diels_Alder

7. Spanish Africa

"The only Spanish-speaking country in Africa is Equatorial Guinea. Its capital, Malabo, is on an island slightly northwest of the country’s mainland." — Dre_Lake

8. A case of bad nerves

"If your nerve is broken in the wrong way, the nerve will send a pain signal to the brain and it won't stop." — RhiannonCrystalLady

9. Pizza truth

"An 18-inch pizza is more than two 12-inch pizzas. To do the math, the surface area of a circle is pi x r squared. Pi is the constant. 18 in pizza has a 9 in radius, or r. 12 inch has 6. 9 squared is 81, 6 squared is 36. 36 x 2 is 72. 81 is greater than 72." — Who_Else_But_Macho

"Not only that but if you assume that each pizza has a 1" wide crust all the way around, the 18-inch pizza is 79% toppings and 21% crust, while the two 12-inch pizzas are only 70% toppings and 30% crust. So not only do you get MORE pizza, you get a more efficient pizza with a greater toppings-to-crust ratio." — Tajwriggly

10. Declare your pacemaker

"When a body is to be cremated, the funeral director will first ensure that any rubber sole shoes, watches, phones, glasses, and sealed glass/metal containers are removed. Any sealed container becomes a pressure vessel when exposed to temperatures exceeding 1000°c. These will explode and do significant damage to the crematorium. This is the same reason why any electrical devices or items with batteries are removed, including most watches, and also pacemakers. When an undertaker asks whether your loved on had any medical implants or pacemakers, this is the reason why.
Glasses often tend to leave a silica residue on the bottom of the cremator which is just awkward to clean up and can build over time. Rubber soles are just incredibly polluting and are often not caught by the many filtration systems. This usually results in a black plume of smoke coming from the chimneys. Also, all metal residues and materials which are collected after the cremation is completed are gathered up and can either be returned to the family (upon request) or else treated and recycled, with proceeds from the recycling going towards a worthy charity." — Flaky_Tumbleweed

11. Scuba or S.C.U.B.A.?

"Scuba is an acronym, standing for self-contained underwater breathing apparatus." — JackCooper_7274

12. Squirrel speed

"Squirrels run faster up trees than on flat surfaces." — sstebbinss

13. Battleships

"Battleships in museums/ on display that are WW2 and later cannot start their engines because they have preservative grease inside in case the Navy has to bring the ship back into service." — Stravata

14. Sharkgevity

"Sharks predate trees." — External_Crazy_6568

"Well duh, they're predators." — Flowcahrt83

15. Code-shifting cells

"Your immune system has at least 1 cell to combat every single infection that could ever exist. Your T-cells are cells that, when created, go through a sort of training phase in the thymus where they are allowed to change their genetic code at random, in order to be able to battle 1 random very specific disease. During this, the body also kills any T-cells that are accidentally adapted to kill human cells. Then the T-cells are sent to lymph nodes, to be found later by presenting an antigen (a part of a pathogen) to it. Basically, you have something for everything in your body, the problem is just finding it, as it takes a good few days for your body to locate the specific one." — Chipperland4471


From Your Site Articles
facts
Science

People are sharing things they would 'dis-invent' if they could, and it's food for thought

Even the inventors themselves regretted making some of these things.

Photos by Jisu Han on Unsplash (left) and Renz Macorol on Pexels (right)

Some things haven't turned into the great inventions they were meant to be.

Humanity is amazing, truly. The way we're continually advancing in nearly every arena of learning, the scientific discoveries we've made, the technologies we've created, the innovative improvements that are constantly being made—it's all quite remarkable.

But in all of this forward movement, we haven't alway struck a healthy balance. Technological and scientific advancements are only a net positive when they are tempered with wisdom, thoughtfulness and conscientiousness of the greater good, and there are notable times when those virtues have been lacking.j

Reddit user /leo_78 asked, "If you could dis-invent something, what would it be?" and people's responses highlight how vital it is to think about the consequences of innovations and inventions before they get put out into the world. (In fact, as we'll see, some of the people who came up with these inventions even regretted it later.)

In no particular order, here are some of the top answers:

1. Pop-up ads

"The creator of them even apologized creating them." – ChefExcellent13

"I remember when they went away for a bit and then made a resurgence with mobile. Trying going to any website now that sells something and give it 2-3 secs and you have a “Want 15% off?!” Pop up. Infuriating." – drhiggs

"Any intrusive ads really. Usually when I'm watching Twitch, there will be ads randomly playing right in the middle of the actions/fun parts." – Claudia-Roelands

2. Household appliances tied to subscription services

"We're looking at YOU, H.P.!" – SuperEP1C-FA1L-GUY

"Yo, wait, wtf? When did this happen? You telling me I have to pay $9.95 a month or something so that my dishwasher works? I'm so confused." – Parada484

"A friend of mine had a CPAP that would stop working if you stopped paying. She's dead now. Those two things are not directly related but her health issues that led to her death were certainly not helped by her sleep apnea." – PixelOrange

"Yo, what? I'm hacking anything that comes into my house so that it's dumb as rocks, I don't need super intelligent robots, I want dumb hammers hammering away at dumb nails." – TheUnkindledLives

3. Coffee pods

"Coffee Pods -- they are disgustingly wasteful." – Anim8nFool

"The k-cup inventor regrets how much extra trash they cause." – LittleOrangeBoi (It's true, he does.)

"I won a Keurig through a work raffle. I already hated the idea of it and did some research. The guy sold all his shares in the company before it took off. He tried making reusable ones but Keurig got all legal on his ass before there was enough pressure for them to make their own, but most people just use the disposable ones anyway.

In 2015, enough k-cups were made (and dumped into landfills) to wrap around the planet over 10 fucking times. What an environmental disaster.

I donated the machine to a non-profit my wife works with and they are adamant about using reusable k-cups and not the single use pods. Also I don't drink coffee so it was wasted on me anyway." – vonkeswick

4. Landmines

"Landmines. Seriously. They f**k up people long after wars are finished." – NaughtyDaisyDelight

"There’s an estimated 800,000 TONS of unexploded ordnance still in Vietnam, that would take hundreds of years to clear out. For context, the bomb dropped in Hiroshima had a yield of about 15,000 tons of TNT." – Redshift_1

"There is also the so called red zone or zone rouge in France - from Word War 1...

The zone rouge was defined just after the war as "Completely devastated. Damage to properties: 100%. Damage to Agriculture: 100%. Impossible to clean. Human life impossible" (Wikipedia) – Drumbelgalf

"I think it’s the most nefarious war machine ever invented. Infrastructure can be rebuilt, land can heal, people can forget and move on. But landmines are forever until some poor child or civilian steps on them and is maimed or killed. You can argue that nukes are worse, but at least we don’t really use them." – WeatherfordCast

5. Impossible-to-open plastic packaging

"The packages they put scissors in… that you need scissor to open. Wtf?" – AnxiousTelephone2997

"Out of everything you could've chosen you chose this one and I 100% get it.." – waveradium

"i get so many papercuts trying to open that sharp strong plastic sealed packaging." – i4mknight

"I would expand that to all single-use plastic packaging." – boondoggie42


6. On-screen tipping prompts…or just tipping in general

"The tipping option when I check out on those computers at the checkout counter." – PotatoshavePockets

"Maybe tips in general. Just pay people for the work they do." – Euphoric_Wolf7227

"This is getting so bad in Canada the default options are starting at 18% and go as high as 25%. I have to hit "other" to enter the long time cultural standard of 15% nevermind that I'm being prompted this on take out and fast food." – ReeG

"It's so refreshing travelling outside of NA to countries that don't do tipping. You go to a restaurant or to just do stuff and the price is what it actually costs you." – 0neek

People added plenty of other things like child beauty pageants, the 24-hour news cycle, the medical insurance industry, HOAs, vapes, reality television and more.

With most of the things people shared, it seems like someone could have or should have foreseen the problems they would create, which highlights how care and compassion for humanity must be at the forefront of innovation and an integral part of the decision-making process of what gets produced and what doesn't.

What would you add to the dis-invention list?

From Your Site Articles
innovation
Trending Stories