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Dad found out his son bullied a kid at school and came up with a brilliant teaching moment

"I told him that we have the opportunity to make things right."

@thehalfdeaddad/TikTok

Dad on TikTok shared how he addressed his son's bullying.

What do you do when you find out your kid bullied someone? For many parents, the first step is forcing an apology. While this response is of course warranted, is it really effective? Some might argue that there are more constructive ways of handling the situation that teach a kid not only what they did wrong, but how to make things right again.

Single dad Patrick Forseth recently shared how he made a truly teachable moment out of his son, Lincoln, getting into trouble for bullying. Rather than forcing an apology, Forseth made sure his son was actively part of a solution.


The thought process behind his decision, which he explained in a now-viral TikTok video, is both simple and somewhat racial compared to how many parents have been encouraged to handle similar situations.

“I got an email a few days ago from my 9-year-old son's teacher that he had done a ‘prank’ to a fellow classmate and it ended up embarrassing the classmate and hurt his feelings,” the video begins.

At this point, Forseth doesn’t split hairs. “I don't care who you are, that's bullying,” he said. “If you do something to somebody that you know has the potential end result of them being embarrassed in front of a class or hurt—you’re bullying.”

So, Forseth and Lincoln sat down for a long talk (a talk, not a lecture) about appropriate punishment and how it would have felt to be on the receiving end of such a prank.

From there, Forseth told his son that he would decide how to make things right, making it a masterclass in taking true accountability.

“I demanded nothing out of him. I demanded no apology, I demanded no apology to the teacher,” he continued, adding, “I told him that we have the opportunity to go back and make things right. We can't take things back, but we can try to correct things and look for forgiveness.”

@thehalfdeaddad Replying to @sunshinyday1227 And then it’s my kid 🤦‍♂️😡 #endbullyingnow #talktoyourkidsmore #dadlifebestlife #singledadsover40 #teachyourchildren #ReadySetLift ♬ Get You The Moon - Kina

So what did Lincoln do? He went back to his school and actually talked to the other boy he pranked. After learning that they shared a love of Pokémon, he then went home to retrieve two of his favorite Pokémon cards as a peace offering, complete with a freshly cleaned case.

Lincoln would end up sharing with his dad that the other boy was so moved by the gesture that he would end up hugging him.

“I just want to encourage all parents to talk to your kids,” Forseth concluded. “Let's try to avoid just the swat on the butt [and] send them to their room. Doesn't teach them anything.”

In Forseth’s opinion, kids get far more insight by figuring out how to resolve a problem themselves. “That's what they're actually going to face in the real world once they move out of our nests.”

He certainly has a point. A slap on the wrist followed by being marched down somewhere to say, “I’m sorry,” only further humiliates kids most of the time. With this gentler approach, kids are taught the intrinsic value of making amends after wrongdoing, not to mention the power of their own autonomy. Imagine that—blips in judgment can end up being major character-building moments.

Kudos to this dad and his very smart parenting strategy.


This article originally appeared on 3.24.23

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Family

Teacher goes viral after sharing signs of 'subtle bullying' she sees in her classroom

These behaviors might be harder to spot, but just as important to stop in their tracks.

@stillateacher/TikTok

Whetehr subtle or over, bullying cannot be tolerated

When we think of bullying, we might first picture wedgies, dunking heads in toilets, stuffing folks in lockers…the kind of stuff you’d see in virtually every kid’s movie in the 90s.

But in real life, bullying can be much more insidious.

Ms. C, a teacher who previously went viral for sharing the high school cliques that have endured the test of time, recently coined a term for this type of behavior, which she called “subtle bullying,” and explained what it might look like in a classroom.

“Here's what it looks like, a student that is less popular, maybe has a disability, will be talking and a kid who is a bully will be looking at all of his friends across the room and snickering and making little faces,” she says in the video.


“I will lose it if I see that,” she continues, saying that while she is “chill” with a lot of things, like cursing, eating in class, student’s addressing her by her first name, even sass to a certain degree, this is her “number one” behavior that will not be tolerated.

To address the issue, Ms. C usually stands “directly by the bully's desk and stares them in the eyes the whole time that other student is talking.” Or she’ll throw them out of the room. The only other time she might do that is if there’s a safety threat. And it seems clear that in her opinion, subtle bullying is a safety threat.

“If you are a teacher and you are not fiercely protecting your most vulnerable students, what are you doing?” she concludes.

@stillateacher basically we’re gonna learn and respect each other #teacher #teachertok #teachersoftiktok #highschoolteacher #teacherlife ♬ original sound - Ms. C

Subtle bullying, according to Ms C, also includes “racism, sexism, homophobia,” which warrants “an intense one-on-one conversation” that hopefully resolves the issue. But if it doesn’t, she gets others involved until the student recognizes the comment was “unacceptable.”

Ms C’s video got a lot of comments from fellow teachers confirming how common this type of bullying is, or anecdotes from folks who were on the receiving end of it.

“The subtle bullying is such an issue. I saw it so much when I subbed,” one person wrote.

Another added, “I’m so glad you can actually spot subtle bullying like that. My teachers would actively tell me it wasn’t happening when I’d try to talk to them about it.”

“Subtle bullying is so bad! We did karaoke in class and had to stop because of popular bullies 'encouraging' and recording,'' one person shared, while another wrote, “Subtle bullying for seven years took me most of a decade to get over. Ruins your self confidence. You are changing lives!”

Subtle bullying might be harder to spot, but it’s every bit as damaging as physical violence or name-calling, and therefore every bit as important to address. In a follow-up video, Ms C. offers a helpful tip for teachers when it comes to spotting this type of behavior.

She suggests giving students a survey where they answer if there’s anyone one they’d rather not sit by (tell them it is completely confidential). If there is a student who has been bullying others, their name will come up repeatedly. Obviously it’s not a foolproof perfect strategy, but it’s a starting point.

The one constant in bullying, whether it’s subtle or overt, is that it’s not acceptable. And it’s the responsibility of the adults in a child’s life—parents, faulty, teachers—to make sure that it doesn’t become a habit that carries over into adulthood.

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Family

Mom shares controversial response to girls who bullied her daughter over $45 Stanley bottle

Was this the right way to handle the situation?

via Dayna Motycka/TikTok and eBay

The Stanley Quencher is all the rage.

Kids learn about status symbols at a very young age. It seems that every generation, a new group of tweens has something that helps define the social pecking order at school, whether it’s having the right brand of Rollerblades in the ‘90s, Ugg boots in the 2000s, or the newest iPhone in the 2010s.

In 2024, the hip thing with the tween set is having a brand-name water bottle to bring to school, specifically a Stanley.

Historically, a Stanley was a blue-collar tumbler you’d bring to a construction site. But now, in a world where people are obsessed with hydration, the $45 bottle is all the rage amongst tweens and teens.

Dayna Motycka, the Ohio mother of a 9-year-old, shared a first-hand glimpse into the name-brand water bottle craze after her daughter was bullied for bringing a $10 Wamart tumbler to school. After returning to school from the holidays, 9 girls in her class got Stanley Tumblers.

@dayna_motycka

I in fact did not keep it short and sweet 🤦🏼‍♀️ apparently needed to get this off my chest! 🤷‍♀️ #stanleycups #valentinestanley #targetstanley #parentsteachingkids #parentingtips101

“And they made sure to let her know that this is not a real Stanley, that this is fake, and it’s not as cool,” Motycka said, pointing to her daughter’s cup.

In a video with over 3.4 million views, Motycka says she could have given her daughter an expensive tumbler but didn’t think it was necessary.

“Can we afford to buy her a Stanley? Yes. Did I think that she needed one? No,” she said. “Apparently, I’ve been proven wrong by the children in our school who are making fun of her for not having a real name-brand Stanley.”

The mother went to a local hardware store and bought her a Stanley for $35. She also noted that she owns one herself.

The mother believes this sort of bullying starts at home with the parents. “This doesn’t start with the kids. This starts with us, with parents, with moms. What are we teaching our kids?” she asked. Motycka says that if her daughter bullied someone for their water bottle, she would be in serious trouble.

“You’d better believe that if our nine-year-old daughter came home and, somehow, we found out that she had made fun of another girl at school for not having something name-brand… we would be calling the family, we would be making her write a note to apologize, we would make her apologize in person because that’s not what we do in this household,” she said.

The video makes an interesting point because, on one hand, the mother is judging other parents for raising kids who would be so petty as to bully another kid for their water bottle. On the other hand, after the girl was bullied, she bought her a Stanley water bottle to fit in with the kids who bullied her. She also owns one of the bottles herself.

Is the mother sending mixed messages, or does it all make sense?

"So basically, do as I say not as I do??? This has to be satire. The only explanation for making this video," an anonymous user commented on the video. “I'm not on board with her message about changing and not actually being the change she speaks of. Otherwise, I would agree with her 100%,” another user wrote.

One mom has taught her boys how to handle this type of bullying.

“My boys have followed my example. So they respond with things like ‘Well, at least I have the thing that I like instead of the thing everyone else likes,’” Kiki Rodriguez wrote.

In the end, Motycka admitted that teaching your kids confidence while shielding them from pain is hard.

"I feel this..but we should also teach our kids to be leaders with more confidence in themselves and their choices. Not being crowd followers," Aim wrote. "I agree with you! It’s just such a tough line," Motycka responded.

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Joy

Viral kids' librarian responds to being bullied online and it's a lesson in kind clapbacks

“I hope they experience kindness. I hope they experience joy.”

Mychal|TikTok

Librarian's response to online bullying is a beautiful lesson.

No one enjoys being made fun of. It can be difficult to manage no matter how old you are, but the internet has brought teasing and bullying to a whole new level. People no longer have to see their bullies face-to-face, and instead of maybe someone turning a few of their friends against you, it's a few hundred or few thousand joining in on the teasing.

In this digital age, people are still trying to learn new ways to deal with finding themselves on the receiving end of online bullies. Mychal, a librarian who has become a viral sensation for his unique way of excitedly telling people about the library, recently found out he was the subject of online bullies. He had no idea anyone was teasing him until followers started doing mental health check-ins to make sure he was okay.

Once he found out why his community was reaching out with concern, the librarian decided to address the situation head on and in the process he gave a masterclass in kindness.

Mychal reveals that the offending post is on "Twitter," (now known as X) and some comments are so bad that he refused to repeat them. He also advised that his followers not look at the comments under the thread due to their inappropriate, harmful nature. According to the librarian, people mocked the way he spoke, his mannerisms and more. But instead of angrily responding, Mychal reminded his followers that sometimes people have bad days.

"I am talking about this because I want people to remember that sometimes people have their worst day and they are really struggling in life," Mychal says. "Sometimes what that results in is they say very mean, very cruel things about other people, which is not okay. It's not okay to say mean, cruel things about people."

He further explains that he is reminding himself along with others that sometimes people are saying mean things because that's what they feel about themselves. Mychal went on to wish the bullies kindness and joy in their lives to top off his lesson in handling internet bullies. While being on the receiving end of bullying does hurt, it's people like Mychal that let others know they're not alone. Commenters were quick to remind the librarian of the same.

@mychal3ts

Quite a few people messaged me “mental health check” before I became aware of that Twitter thread, and I just want to say, “THANK YOU!” 💚 #BookTok #LibraryTikTok #Storytime

"Obviously they're not kind library friends. Sending love, Mychal. You're great.," one person writes.

In a three-part comment, one viewer wanted Mychal to know just how much he was appreciated. "Mychal, I'm not even kidding but every single time you come onto my for you page, you make my day. I love when I see you on my page because you just make me feel so genuinely safe. You are such a sweet, wonderful, and truly beautiful person, and I'm sorry that some people are so miserable that they feel the need to bring you down. But I just want you to know that you are deeply appreciated. By me, and by all the other people who look forward to seeing your content every day, I can't even express to you or properly thank you for what you've done for me and others."

Clearly the community Mychal has built is amazing, and no matter what the bullies say, his followers are there with enough positive affirmations to last a lifetime. Keep being you, Mychal. It's obvious that your voice is needed.

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