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Parents say this 1-minute check-in with their kids has made weeknights so much better

They call it a 'mini ritual' with 3 easy prompts.

Photo credit: Canva

The easy conversation ritual parents say takes 1 minute and makes them feel more connected to their kids.

Connecting with kids after long days of school can be tough for parents. And the default question, "How was school today?" can often fall flat.

But asking kids questions beyond boring go-to's can deepen your relationship and help you feel closer to one another—and it can take less than one minute.

On the Reddit subforum r/Parenting, parents shared their tried and true "mini ritual" that they have developed with their nine-year-old to help other parents connect with their kids.

@queenn_gee

What questions do you ask your kid(s) when they’ve been away for awhile? (Example, school, kids church, grandmas house) #backtoschool #involved #invest #mom

"After dinner our kid sprints to homework or play and real conversation disappears. We tried long debriefs and they fizzled," they shared. "What finally clicked was a tiny ritual at the sink while brushing teeth."

Then they shared exactly how they initiate their check-in. "Three prompts, one each night on a loop. Rose. Thorn. Seed," they wrote. "One win, one hard thing, one thing to try tomorrow. It stays short and somehow we get the real stuff."

The easy ritual resonated with other parents. "This is great! Thanks for sharing!" one commented. Another added, "We do this too!"

Other parents were asked to share their mini-rituals, and they offered many heartfelt responses. These are a few other ways parents have found success connecting with their kids through conversation.

Model truthfully

"For me the key was the realization that I need to model telling the things I want them to talk about, not just ask about their day. When I started sharing my day's ups and downs, they gradually followed suit. Dinner table talk is not just adults connecting with our kids, it's us connecting as a family," they shared. "'Gee, I'm tired today, I had a really tough meeting where I had to tell people bad news...' or 'I'm quite proud that I managed to finish a job I've struggled with...' or 'I don't really feel like going to the gym though it's my gym day, hmm...' or 'Mom called today and told me her garden is almost ready for winter...'. Of course, I keep it about age-appropriate; this is family chat, not me venting on them." - South_Industry_1953

"For a while we used dinner conversation to discuss the mistakes mom and dad made that day and how we fixed them or moved on. It's tough for kids to see how to resolve problems if it's not modeled for them, and it is tough to model making mistakes!" - UnfairCartographer88

Focus on their internal lives

"I can only share with you what I did when my kids were small... and that was after brushing teeth, I would have a quiet conversation with them and simply ask them how was their day, what was the most important thing they thought they had accomplished, and whether there was anything on their mind, or whether they were feeling anything in particular that they wanted to talk about now or tomorrow, perhaps. Personally speaking, the rush of daily life and the collaborative management of everybody's schedule made these sorts of conversations difficult to have, in particular as a family. But what I found was that my kids really responded positively when I showed them that I was interested in their internal emotional and psychological lives... even if that was for only five or 10 minutes before bedtime. I also found that these conversations continued on the weekends, when, for example, I might be in the car with my kids together doing various chores." - Expensive_Magician97

- YouTube www.youtube.com

Asking about the good, the bad and the surprising

"We do Good Thing, Bad Thing at dinner each night. We take turns at going first (6yo job is remembering whose turn it is). We do good things first to celebrate wins and then when it's bad things we either listen and commiserate or brainstorm solutions. It's a lovely way to encourage conversation at dinner time." - maps_mandalas

"Hi-Lo-Buffalo. What was the highlight of the day? Low? Surprise of the day?" - mrfreeeeze

"We do apples and onions at the dinner table so everyone gets a turn to talk to everyone. ETA: apples are good things, onions are not so good things." - UnfairCartographer88

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Mom takes away tween daughter's phone and tablet—and notices "immediate" change

"Not even 24 hours later I have a totally different kid."

Image via Canva/Alena Ozerova

Mom and tween daughter have a better relationship after taking away her phone and tablet.

Most kids these days have phones. In a 2025 survey conducted by Florida State University on the digital media use of American tweens aged 11-13 years old, nearly 80% of kids in the age range had a smart phone—with one-third of them reporting they got their first phone by the age of 10.

And while the impacts of phone access for tweens is still being studied, a 2024 study published in the Journal of Human Development and Capabilities found that kids under 13 who owned smartphones reported worse mental health outcomes than those who didn't.

Phone use is a common issue many parents navigate with their tweens these days. And a mom with a tween daughter (who she says is currently 12 years old going on 13), shared with fellow parents on the subreddit r/Parenting the major changes she noticed after taking away her daughter's phone and tablet access.

- YouTube www.youtube.com

She explained, "Long story short, there was a lot of toxic stuff happening between the kids, and it was all through these huge group chats. They’d be constantly in contact, texting each other, FaceTiming, etc. And the way they spoke to each other wasn’t healthy, it was vulgar and rude under the guise of being quirky."

The mom's resolution? "I went nuclear. Immediately had her hand over her devices. Bought an AirTag for her backpack so I can find her when I pick her up from school. The only screen she can use is the living room tv," she explained. "This sounds harsh, but I had previously tried adjusting screen time settings to be more strict and it wasn’t yielding the results I wanted. So a full detox it is."

To her shock, she shared how her daughter practically transformed overnight. "And oh boy, not even 24 hours later I have a totally different kid,," she wrote. "She is out of her bedroom. She wants to be around us! She’s engaging with her little sister and laughing with us. Boredom has been so, so good. And we’re only on day 2 right now. What I thought would feel like a miserable punishment has actually lifted her up and brought her spark back."

@pagesix

The Kelce girls will not be reliant on cell phones when they get older. 🎥: Not Gonna Lie with Kylie Kelce

The story resonated with parents and teachers alike, who shared their experiences dealing with tweens and technology use. Another mom shared, "We've recently had to cut our child's screen time too. She's a similar age, and was also isolating herself, sullen, bored, angry all the time, etc, and it turned out there were some unideal conversations happening. She's like a different kid too. Even playing with her younger siblings! This was all on a school-issued laptop, thankfully her teacher was on board and said she'd rather her not do her homework if that's what was needed. It almost feels like she's relieved we took control. We are going to do things so differently from now on."

One educator commented, "As a teacher in a state with the new banned cell laws, I can tell you it is working. I have students participating in class discussions, they are turning work in. They are focused. There are still those who will not work but we had the same type of students when I was a student before cell phones. It’s been a game changer in our district."

One parent explained how they plan to address their son's tech accessibility, commenting, "I am planning to get my 11 year old a watch that can text, make calls from the watch, see his location, etc. About the same price as a phone and corresponding plan but fewer of the headaches," they wrote.

Other parents offered helpful resources. "The book The Anxious Generation is a must read for all parents. The research supports taking away smartphones and tablets and social media," one added. Another noted, "Another good one: Stolen Focus."

How parents can delegate phone use with tweens

Many parents are processing how to delegate or cut off phone use with their tweens, deciding what is healthiest and realistic for them.

"Tweens are at a critical stage where their brains are still developing key skills like self-regulation, patience, and resilience," Tessa Stuckey, MA, LPC, a mental health counselor and founder of LookUp (a nonprofit resource to support families facing the growing challenges of screen use and social media), tells Upworthy.

She adds that constant access to phones and tablets interferes with that development by "offering instant gratification, endless comparison, and exposure to content they’re not emotionally ready for. Taking a break allows their brains and bodies to reset—helping them rediscover creativity, real connection, and the ability to tolerate boredom, which is essential for growth."

Here are three tips to help you navigate phone use with your tween:

Tip #1: Establish clear boundaries early
Stuckey notes that parents should make it clear from the start that devices are tools, not toys.

"Set family rules about when, where, and how they can be used—for example, no devices in bedrooms at night and no screens at the dinner table," she says. "By sticking to these rules consistently, kids learn that screens are a privilege, not a right."

Tip #2: Replace, don’t just remove
When you cut off screen time, have alternatives ready.

"Encourage activities that naturally release dopamine and bring joy—like going outside, playing a game, cooking together, or simply letting them get bored," says Stuckey. "This not only makes the transition easier but also teaches them how to regulate without always relying on a device."

Tip #3: Use screens intentionally together
Not all screen use is harmful if it’s guided.

"Watch a show together, look up a recipe, or FaceTime with family—modeling intentional use shows kids the difference between mindless scrolling and purposeful connection," Stuckey explains. "Over time, they’ll learn that the healthiest way to use devices is with balance and purpose."

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Dad shares the unique 8-point checklist his kids must finish before they get screen time

A lot of us could use a checklist like this, to be honest.

Canva Photos

Imagine if everyone adhered to these unique screen-time guidelines.

We know too much screen time is not good for us. We also know that younger folks are particularly susceptible to screen addiction. Crucially, teachers and psychologists have been sounding the alarm about the effects of too much screen time on young people for years now. Reports flood in every year that more and more people in schools struggle to do anything without ChatGPT's help, that they're way behind in learning fundamental skills, that they're disrespectful and lazy. Every generation has been "concerned" about the one that comes directly after them, bemoaning that they don't have the same values or that their brains are being rotted by Elvis, rock and roll, radio, or television. So some of the doom and gloom is probably overstated, but there's truthfully never been anything quite like iPhones loaded up with TikTok and other forms of hyper-dopamine-fueled social media.

Still, it's unlikely that a young person, or any person, really, can exist in modern society without some level of access to screens. So parents need to effectively help teens and tweens manage the habit and offset the dangers as much as humanly possible.

Psychiatrist, author, and dad of seven Richard Wadsworth recently went viral after showing his own personal strategy for getting his kids to do something other than scrolling.


screen addiction teens, limiting screen time, teens good habits, kids, parenting, teens, dads, moms, psychologist Kids are playing outside way less. So parents are looking for new ways to get them exercise. Photo by Annie Spratt on Unsplash

It could be the perfect solution for parents to not only break screen addiction, but instill some other healthy ritual as well.

In the clip, we first see Wadsworth’s tween son doing deltoid exercises with dumbbells. Which he apparently got up at 6:30 am to do. What could possibly incentivize practically anyone, let alone a preteen to wake up at the crack of dawn to lift weights? Was his dad forcing him to exercise?

No. Wadsworth went on to show a typed out list of various tasks that must be performed before his kids even think about setting eyes on a phone or tablet. The list included a short workout in the form of one mile on the treadmill or 20 minutes of another exercise.

Wadsworth explained that rather than enforcing strict rules, this method provides necessary structure without taking away choice.

“I’m not forcing my son to exercise every day, but I am setting rules and boundaries around his screen time,” he said. “He decided he wanted to have more time after school to play with his friend. And so in order to do that, he realized that he’d need to wake up a little bit earlier and exercise in the morning.”

In addition to exercise, the list included domestic chores like cleaning the bedroom and shared areas, finishing homework, doing laundry, preparing for the next day…and, perhaps most importantly…making sure the toilet is flushed. (Not cleaned, just flushed. Parents everywhere can relate.)

“We have all of their screens locked away. And if they want access to any of them, they need to come ask us and we’ll go through the list together. And they’re not getting their screens until the list is done,” Wadsworth continued.

He also drew a comparison between screen time and sugary sweets, noting how most parents probably wouldn’t routinely allow kids to eat dessert before a nutritious meal, but instead allow it to be a treat.

“Just as you would hopefully have your kids eat dinner before they had their dessert, you should probably be having them do something positive…before they get on their screens." Hence why he tries to get his kids to complete their list before going to the phone.

And in case you’re wondering how Wadsworth’s son feels about all this, he reported having “so much energy for school” feeling “so much better” since his dad introduced the to-do list.

@doctorwadsworth

#greenscreen #parenting #parentingtips

Bottom line: kids need guidance from their parents. And Wadsworth recommends clear cut boundaries to help them develop good habits, “because if you don’t do it, nobody else is.”

Wadsworth’s parenting hack was well received, with quite a few grown adults saying they could benefit from this type of boundary-setting in their own life.

“Even I’m addicted to this screen. I have to tell myself to put it down all the time and I’m a grown adult. Kids definitely need this!” one user wrote.

Another added, “I need someone to do this for me (I’m 28).” To which Wadsworth replied, “we all need parents sometimes.”

screen addiction teens, limiting screen time, teens good habits, kids, parenting, teens, dads, moms, psychologist Phones and social media aren't going anywhere. We have to figure out how to make it work. Photo by Gaelle Marcel on Unsplash

"We implemented a similar plan, and I was surprised at how easy they took to it. It’s almost like kids need structure. What a concept!" another user remarked.

While the inclusion of exercise on the To-Do List might be controversial, the facts don't lie. Most kids and teens aren't getting enough daily physical activity. Kids don't play outside or walk to school anymore, either. So if they're not exercising, they're probably not moving much at all. And that's just as dangerous as too much TikTok.

Even with potential TikTok bans, social media isn’t going anywhere. The sooner parents can implement guidelines like these, the better equipped their kids will be at balancing tech savviness with tech dependence.

This article originally appeared last year. It has been updated.

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People are losing it at this millennial teaching her boomer mom about 'gentle parenting'

Hilarity ensues.

@thedailytay/TikTok

“I don’t even know my plan! Do you know your plan?!”

There are a lot of modern ideas that make sense to those of us who have come of age with them, but it's a really interesting exercise to try to view those same ideas from the perspective of the older generations. It can make things seem pretty absurd. For example:

Gentle parenting has been the anxious millennial antidote to the trauma caused by their boomer parent’s not-so-gentle approach to raising kids. This new wave of parents have become determined to not let history repeat itself, to usher in a kinder, more emotionally secure, more confident generation of humans.

And while that intention is certainly admirable, perhaps we millennials, with all our self-deprecating humor, can also laugh at ourselves a bit with just how gentle we strive to be.

gentle parenting, parenting, parenting advice, Boomers, Gen X, Millennials, parenting hacks A grown woman and her motherImage via Canva

A fun, tongue-in-cheek and instantly viral video created by 37-year-old mom of two Taylor Wolfe can help with that.

The clip, which racked up 5.8 million views in less than 24 hours, shows Taylor trying to teach her boomer mother Sandy Wolfe all the ins-and-outs of gentle parenting so that she may use these more compassionate tactics on her grandkids.

@thedailytay

GENTLE HANDS. 🙃🫶🏻🤭❤️ #fyp #millennialsoftiktok #momsoftiktok #gentleparenting #parentsoftiktok #foryoupag #comedyvideo


Let’s just say, many found her failed attempt completely relatable, not to mention hilarious.

Sandy’s well intentioned “Be careful!” to her granddaughter gets met with Taylor saying, “We don’t say ‘Be careful!’ anymore. Instead say, ‘What’s your plan here?’”

“I don’t even know my plan! Do you know your plan?!” Sandy retorts.

Cut to: Sandy says “Stop. Don’t hit your sister.” Suddenly Taylor pops up from behind a corner to instruct: “Don’t say, ‘Stop,’ say, ‘Gentle.’”

“‘Gentle’…what?” asks a confused Sandy.

“‘Gentle hands,’” quips Taylor, adding. “‘Gentle’ everything.”

gentle parenting, parenting advice, parenting, parenting hacks, Boomers, Gen X, Millennials, mothers, daughters An adult woman and her older motherImage via Canva

Sandy can’t even catch a break when she says “I’m so proud of you.” because, as Taylor explains, “you’re not supposed to tell kids you’re proud of them anymore. That’s putting the focus on you.”

Then a classic comedy of errors ensues as Taylor advises Sandy to say “you should be so proud” and Sandy replies “I AM so proud!”

Viewers could help but laugh at their own perhaps overzealous attempts to bring gentle parenting into their life.

“I tried to gentle parent this morning but it turned into ‘OMG GET YOUR FORKING SHOES ON,”” one person wrote, while another added, “I always started with the Mary Poppins approach but sometimes you need to elevate to Judge Judy.”

Others felt like this perfectly depicted how gentle parenting sometimes misses the mark.

“I’m feeling anxious after observing gentle parenting,” one person wrote.

Another simply said, “I stand with grandma.”

This isn’t the first time Taylor and Sandy have given us a good chuckle comparing their different parenting styles. Here’s another funny video from August of 2023 where Taylor is flabbergasted to hear how her mother managed without Google:

Listen, gentle parenting is great for providing parents more mindful, less reactive responses to their kids, which can do wonders for everybody. But there’s also something to be said for not getting so wound up in the minutia of every parent-child interaction, thinking anything and everything could be threatening to a child’s development. As with anything, balance—and a sense of humor—is always key.

Follow along on more of Taylor’s fun and relatable content on TikTok.

This article originally appeared last year. It has been updated.

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