sleep habits

Quick, don't overthink it! When you lie down on a bed, what's your first preference on where you fall? On the left side of the bed? The right? Or, for some very confident folks, the middle?

On the subreddit thread r/NoStupidQuestions, someone posted: "How do couples decide which side of the bed is ‘theirs’? Is it instinct or some kind of silent agreement?" They followed that up with excellent observations and a few more questions. "I’ve never seen anyone discuss it. People just lie down once and suddenly that side is theirs for life. Is there a ritual I missed? A coin toss? A primal bed-claiming reflex? What if one of you wants the wall side and the other’s also afraid of murderers?"

A woman lies in bed in the animated Rick And MortyGiphy, Adult Swim

All excellent questions, and at nearly 9,000 comments in just the first day, Redditors are ready to answer. After a lengthy back and forth about "stopping murders"—one person posts that it depends on the room and bed. "My husband and I switch around like that but it's because he wants to be on whatever side the door is on. I generally prefer the left side but he just has very strong protective instincts. If there's an intruder, he wants to be between them and me."

There is a lot of pushback on this. "But what if the intruder comes in through the window?" An excellent—and frankly obvious—retort fixes the workaround. "That’s why you sleep with those auto-firing turrets from Alien pointed at your window."

Another has a more practical answer: "My wife sleeps closest to the bathroom." But the direct reply to that brings us immediately back to murder. "Same here. Her side is also closer to the door, so she will get murdered first. It was a tradeoff she was willing to make when we moved in... the 3+ trips to the bathroom each night offset the higher murder risk." (Actually the placement of the bathroom is quite common in the comments.)

This Redditor gets more serious with their answer: "Wife and I switch all the time depending on comfort of cuddling. She mostly sleeps ACROSS the bed though. So there's that...."

A tired guy lies down for sleep.Giphy

For those not always in a couple, they offer their preferences too. "I lived alone, slept in the middle but with everything on the left side table. I enjoyed the breeze from the window. One night I let a casual fling take left because closer to the window and he was hot. He now lives here and my spot is gone. I’m still sad about it."

The truth is that some say there are reasons we take the sides we do.

From a romantic standpoint, psychologist and TikTok user @sarphatieesther claims, "Research tells us that men are more relaxed when they sleep on the right side of the bed. But the question is why?" She proceeds to answer this question, claiming it's simple. "When he has his woman on the left side of his body, on the side of his heart, he can use his right arm — which is considered his sword arm — to put it around her and protect her." (She also agrees with many Redditors who say that the man "should" choose the side of the bed closest to the door, in case there's a home invasion.)

Now probably, seeing how it's 2025, the concept of a "sword arm" might seem a dash outdated. That said, there are all kinds of fun wives'-tale attempts to explain what your bedside preference says about you. In my colleague Tod Perry's Upworthy article, "'Hack expert' explains why the side of the bed you sleep on says a lot about your personality," he cites Hope Bastine, a sleep expert, who claims left-side sleepers are cheerier than right-siders. "According to research," Perry writes, "people who sleep on the left are likely to be more cheerful than their right-side counterparts," Bastine said. "A positive outlook allows lefties to be more capable at dealing with a heavy workload, which means they’re not as easily fazed by a stressful day. Those who sleep on the left believe they are calmer than their partner in a crisis and are more confident in general."

It's such a debated topic, it even made the morning news in North Carolina. They add that if you sleep on the left side of the bed, you're more likely to drink beer, lean left politically, and enjoy dramatic films. Right side sleepers? "You prefer wine. You like action flicks and rock music." (They also very seriously note that this is when you're looking at the bed, not IN the bed.)

- YouTubewww.youtube.com, WCNC News

Sadly, they did not address "across the bed" sleepers. I'd imagine they're the most fun.