+
Sign up for
The Upworthiest
Our top stories of the day delivered straight to your inbox.
upworthy
Most Shared

21 of the best jokes from the Clinton, Bush, and Obama White House Correspondents dinners.

The White House Correspondents' Association dinner is an opportunity for the politically powerful to showcase their ability to take a joke. Naturally, Donald Trump won't go near it.

For the second straight year, Trump won't be in attendance for the dinner. Not exactly known for his ability to poke fun at himself or smile along, it makes sense that he wouldn't want to be there for an evening that both undercuts and exaggerates the press's supposedly adversarial relationship with our nation's leaders.

While the event itself dates back more than 100 years, it wasn't until 1993 that C-SPAN began airing the whole thing live. Since then, comedians, such as Conan O'Brien, Jon Stewart, Stephen Colbert, Jay Leno, Drew Carey, Wanda Sykes, Jimmy Kimmel, and Seth Meyers, have taken the stage to jab at the politicians and the press — all in good fun.

Let's look back at some of the funniest and most daring jokes from past White House Correspondents' Association dinners, made by celebs and politicos alike.

Larry Wilmore in 2016 took jabs at the obscurity of C-SPAN and a failed promise.

"It is good to be on C-SPAN. Glad I’m not on your rival network, 'No input, HDMI1.'"

"Oh, I just got a note from the president saying that if you want another drink, you should order it now because the bar will be closing down. Of course, he said the same thing about Guantanamo, so you have at least another eight years."

Comedian Larry Wilmore hosted in 2016. Photo by Olivier Douliery-Pool/Getty Images.

During his final dinner in 2016, President Obama starred in a video contemplating life after the White House.

In 2015, Cecily Strong of "Saturday Night Live" brought up reproductive rights.

"Since I’m only a comedian, I’m not going to try and tell you politicians how to do politics. That would be like you guys telling me what to do with my body. I mean, can you even imagine?"

Joel McHale used his 2014 platform to torch ... well, everyone.

"C-SPAN is like one of those 'Paranormal Activity' movies. It’s just grainy shots of empty rooms interrupted by images of people you’re pretty sure died a few years ago."

"Jeb Bush might announce that he’s running. Wow, another Bush in the White House. Is it already time for our every-10-years surprise for Iraq?"

"At this point, CNN is like the RadioShack at a sad strip mall. You don’t know how it stayed in business this long, you don’t know anyone that shops there, and they just fired Piers Morgan."

"[Fox News anchors are the] Mount Rushmore of keeping old people angry."

Joel McHale and President Obama during the 2014 dinner. Photo by Olivier Douliery/ABACAUSA.com.

In 2013, Conan O'Brien took on Twitter, Mitt Romney, and Obama's name.

"If in 1995 you told me that in 2013 we'd have an African-American president with a middle name Hussein who was just elected to a second term in a sluggish economy, I would have said, ‘Oh, he must have run against Mitt Romney.'"

"If any of you are live-tweeting this event, please use the hashtag '#incapableoflivinginthemoment. Yes, also to any U.S. senators here tonight, if you would like to switch either your dessert or your position on gay marriage, please signal a waiter."

Comedian Conan O'Brien hosted the 2013 event. Photo by Pete Marovich/Bloomberg.

Jimmy Kimmel joked about Occupy Wall Street and Mitt Romney in 2012.

"Americans are in terrible shape. You can even tell how out of shape we are by the way we protest. We used to march. Now we occupy.”

On Mitt Romney: "You can't have a beer with him, because he doesn't drink. You can't have a cup of coffee with him, because he can't have caffeine. You can't even play Monopoly with him because he keeps trying to put the dog on the car."

Seth Meyers jabbed at Donald Trump and the Huffington Post during his 2011 set.

"Donald Trump has said he's running for president as a Republican, which is surprising because I thought he was running as a joke."

"The New York Times party used to be free, but tonight there's a cover, so like everyone else I'll probably just go to the Huffington Post party. And the Huffington Post party is asking people to go to other parties first and just steal food and drinks and bring it from there."

In 2011, Obama took a few (joking) swipes at Donald Trump and his presidential ambitions. Oops.

“Now, I know that he’s taken some flak lately, but no one is prouder to put this birth certificate to rest than the Donald. Now he can get to focusing on the issues that matter. Like, did we fake the moon landing? What really happened at Roswell? And where are Biggie and Tupac? All kidding aside, we all know about your credentials and experience. In 'Celebrity Apprentice,' the men team’s cooking did not impress the judges from Omaha Steaks, but you recognized that this was a lack of leadership, so you fired Gary Busey. These are the kinds of decisions that would keep me up at night. Well-handled, sir. Well-handled."

In 2015, Obama brought up Keegan-Michael Key to play the role of Luther, his anger translator. Photo by Olivier Douliery-Pool/Getty Images.

During the 2008 event, Craig Ferguson got laughs with his deadpan suggestion that Dick Cheney lives in a dungeon.

"Tonight we mark the end of an era. George W. Bush leaves in eight months. The vice president is already moving out of his residence. It takes longer than you think to pack up an entire dungeon."

Comedian Craig Ferguson hosted the 2008 event. Photo by Kristoffer Tripplaar-Pool/Getty Images.

Stephen Colbert's 2006 performance is the stuff of legend, but didn't exactly win him many friends at the time.

"I know there’s some polls out there saying that this man has a 32% approval rating. But guys like us, we don’t pay attention to the polls. We know that polls are just a collection of statistics that reflect what people are thinking in ‘reality.’ And reality has a well-known liberal bias."

"Here's how it works: the president makes decisions, the press secretary announces those decisions, and you people of the press type those decisions down. Make, announce, type. Just put 'em through a spellcheck and go home. ... Write that novel you got kicking around in your head. You know, the one about the intrepid Washington reporter with the courage to stand up to the administration. You know — fiction!"

Comedian Stephen Colbert performed during the 2006 dinner. Photo by Roger L. Wollenberg/Getty Images.

In 2004, President George W. Bush got a lot of criticism when he showed a sideshow of him jokingly looking around the Oval Office for weapons of mass destruction.

Sure, nothing should be off-limits in comedy, but maybe making a joke about how we were led to war based on a lie is a bit callous.

President Clinton played the role of a bored lame-duck president in this 2000 video.

In 1995, Conan O'Brien implored loyal C-SPAN viewers to please find something else to do on a Saturday night.

"I have an announcement for those of you watching this event live on C-SPAN. For God's sake, it's Saturday night! Go outside! ... There are things you can do!"

President Bill Clinton laughing during the 1996 event. Photo by Ted Mathias/AFP/Getty Images.

The show must go on, as they say.

Last year's host was Hasan Minhaj, who scorched the president with a comparison to King Joffrey from "Game of Thrones." This year, the event will be hosted by Michelle Wolf. It's sure to be as awkward as ever — and it's still pretty strange to see the press rubbing elbows with the same politicians their jobs require them to criticize. But with the world as dark as it is right now, maybe we do need to just find a way to laugh.

Comedian Hasan Minhaj hosted the 2017 White House Correspondents' Association dinner. Photo by Tasos Katopodis/Getty Images.

Badge
P&G
Proctor and Gamble
Joy

Now's your chance to help someone doing good in your community win $1000 towards the charity of their choice

Upworthy and P&G are back with the #ActsOfGood Awards.

Images provided by P&G

Three winners will be selected to receive $1000 donated to the charity of their choice.

True

Doing good is its own reward, but sometimes recognizing these acts of kindness helps bring even more good into the world. That’s why we’re excited to partner with P&G again on the #ActsOfGood Awards.

The #ActsOfGood Awards recognize individuals who actively support their communities. It could be a rockstar volunteer, an amazing community leader, or someone who shows up for others in special ways.

Do you know someone in your community doing #ActsOfGood? Nominate them between April 24th-June 3rdhere.Three winners will receive $1,000 dedicated to the charity of their choice, plus their story will be highlighted on Upworthy’s social channels. And yes, it’s totally fine to nominate yourself!

We want to see the good work you’re doing and most of all, we want to help you make a difference.

While every good deed is meaningful, winners will be selected based on how well they reflect Upworthy and P&G’s commitment to do #ActsOfGood to help communities grow.

That means be on the lookout for individuals who:

Strengthen their community

Make a tangible and unique impact

Go above and beyond day-to-day work

The #ActsOfGood Awards are just one part of P&G’s larger mission to help communities around the world to grow. For generations, P&G has been a force for growth—making everyday products that people love and trust—while also being a force for good by giving back to the communities where we live, work, and serve consumers. This includes serving over 90,000 people affected by emergencies and disasters through the Tide Loads of Hope mobile laundry program and helping some of the millions of girls who miss school due to a lack of access to period products through the Always #EndPeriodPoverty initiative.

Visit upworthy.com/actsofgood and fill out the nomination form for a chance for you or someone you know to win. It takes less than ten minutes to help someone make an even bigger impact.

From Your Site Articles
best of humanity
Pop Culture

Steve Martin has the best response to hearing that his book was banned in Florida

He thinks it's for the best.

via Joella Marano/Wikimedia Commons

Steve Martin's 2000 novella, "Shopgirl."


Over the past few years, book bans have been happening in public libraries and schools across America. In the 2022-2023 school year alone, over 3,300 books were banned in 182 school districts in 37 states.

Most books that have been banned deal with LGBTQ and racial themes. According to a report from PEN America, Florida has been the most aggressive state regarding book bans, accounting for about 40% of those taken off the shelves.

On November 5, Collier County, Florida, announced that it was banning 300 books from its school libraries out of an effort to comply with state law HB 1069, which says books that depict or describe “sexual content” can be challenged for removal.

Among the books banned by the school district was “Shopgirl,” a novella by author Steve Martin published in 2000. Martin is also the star of the hit Hulu show, “Only Murders in the Building,” featuring Martin Short and Selena Gomez.

Upon hearing about his book being banned, Martin responded with his iconic wit on Instagram, saying, “So proud to have my book Shopgirl banned in Collier County, Florida! Now, people who want to read it will have to buy a copy!"

“Shopgirl” is a story about a young woman who works in a luxury department store and has an affair with a wealthy older man. It was made into a movie in 2005 starring Claire Danes and Martin. It’s believed the book was banned for its mild sexual content. On Amazon, the book is recommended for readers ages 13 and up.


This article originally appeared on 11.11.23

From Your Site Articles
book bans
Internet

Lawyer explains how and why she refuses to sign waivers of liability forms for her child

"I do not waive my child's rights when it comes to liability or catastrophic events."

Representative photos by RDNE Stock Project and João Rabelo via Canva

Lawyer refuses to sign waivers of liability for her child

Every parent is familiar with the standard liability waiver for children to do just about anything. Going on a school field trip, sign a liability waiver. Playing a sport, sign a liability waiver. Going to a birthday party at a trampoline park–you got it, sign a liability waiver. The form is so common that parents often sign it without thinking about what they're actually signing.

The assumption is that if you don't sign the form, whoever "they" are will know and your kid will be left out of whatever activity they wanted to do. But do you actually have to sign those things? Shannon Schott a mom, criminal defense and personal injury attorney says declining is an option.

The attorney took to TikTok to explain how she gets around signing the liability forms for her child and it's much simpler than one might think. According to Schott, she's never been questioned when she simply crosses out the things she doesn't agree with and writes decline next to that particular section. No secret liability waiver police jump out from behind the nearest bush, and her reasoning is quite simple.

Blindly signing on the dotted line essentially waives your child's rights to take legal action if an accident occurs that severely injures, maims or kills your child, Schott explains. The mom tells her audience that as a lawyer who handles personal injury, she would never agree to sign away the option to sue, reminding others that liability waivers are a mutual agreement. Keeping this in mind she only signs what she's comfortable with.

"First and foremost if people are not paying attention, I just don't do it. If someone says you have to go online and sign a waiver I say, 'okay thanks' and I don't do it and no one checks and that's not on me. That's me being smart and not waiving my child's rights," Schott reveals, immediately clarifying that she and her family are safe and not trying to trick someone into a lawsuit.

While many people didn't realize that you had the option to decline, some did and explained how they do it in the comments.

"On my first day of torts, my professor taught us to cross out all of the negligence/death clauses. 10 years later with 2 kids, I've never been questioned (no one noticed)," someone writes.

"I always wrote, 'unless under negligence.' No one ever rechecked my signature," another says.

"I always do this!! My mom did it when we were kids so it became a habit," one commenter shares.

@shannonschott.esq #jaxfl #jaxlawyer #floridalawyer #juvenilejustice #juveniledelinquency #juvenilelawexpert #personalinjury #personalinjurylawyer #personalinjuryattorney #personalinjurylaw #personalinjurytips #personalinjurylawyers #personalinjurylawyerflorida ♬ original sound - Shannon Schott

Schott makes it clear in her video that while she is particular about arbitrarily signing her child's rights away, she's not looking for litigation and she's fine with having her child sit out of an activity if needed. The attorney also reassures a commenter that parents always have the right to revoke a waiver and ask for a new form if they've signed thinking they didn't have a choice. Parents are thanking her for the information with some admitting they need to take a closer look at those forms in the future.

From Your Site Articles
decline waivers of liability
Friendship

Little boy mistakes multimillionaire for homeless man and they end becoming good friends

The boy got to keep his dollar and gain a friend.

Screenshot WBRZ2|YouTube

Boy mistakes multimillionaire for homeless man forming friendship


Kids can be amazingly empathetic people, many of them doing what they can to help others in need unprompted. Homelessness has been an increasing issue across America and some kids have taken small steps to try to help when they can. Kids are seen doing things like volunteering at a soup kitchen with their family, handing out personal hygiene kits and even making sandwiches in their own kitchen to give out.

One kid has been noticing a growing homeless population and wanting to lend a helping hand, but every time he encountered someone without a home, he had no money. But Kelvin Ellis didn't stop the desire of wanting to help so the next time he came across a man that appeared homeless, he was excited that this time he had a dollar in his pocket.

Kelvin, who is 9-years-old spotted a houseless person standing in the corner of a restaurant and knew it was his chance. The boy approached the man who was standing with his eyes closed and held out the only money he had–a dollar bill. But to Kelvin's surprise, the man refused the kind gesture and instead bought him breakfast because it turned out the man wasn't homeless at all.

Matthew Busbice, the man standing in the corner, was simply doing his morning devotional prayer after having to leave his apartment in a rush when the building's fire alarm went off. The man stepped across the street to the coffee shop after it was confirmed to be a false alarm at his building. That's where Kelvin spotted him and attempted to give charity to Busbice, a multimillionaire.

Busbice launched and owns several brands and outdoor companies with his family. The multimillionaire also starred in two popular reality television shows with his family, Country Bucks on A&E and Wildgame Nation on Outdoor Channel. His money and niche fame didn't stop him from chatting with Kelvin over breakfast while the little boy's dad was at the eye doctor.

"You gave the only money in your pocket to me and thinking I was a homeless man, and that speaks volumes of your character and what this generation that's coming up. If their more like Kelvin and they're going to give, they're going to be filled with joy, they're going to be happy. They're going to change the community then change the parish and change the state, and they can change the world," Busbice tells WBRZ 2.

Kelvin didn't expect to make a friend that day, but he did. You can see how Busbice repaid the little boy's kind gesture below.

From Your Site Articles
multimillionaire homeless mistake
Pop Culture

Kids death-staring into judges' souls while showing pigs has people confused and howling

Who knew pig showing was this intense?

Photo by Alexander Grey on Unsplash (left) and Dan Renco on Unsplash (right)

The staring is part of the competition.

A video of kids waving a narrow rod in front of a pig while hunching like Dracula and giving someone a death stare has taken the internet by storm, leaving people scratching their heads.

"What did I just watch?" seems to be the primary response to the video shared on the @dadsonfarms TikTok page, followed by various versions of "Where am I?" and "What is happening?" and "How did I end up here?"

The befuddlement is only matched by the curiosity and confused laughter that naturally result from seeing something so…unbelievable? Unexpected? Unusual? Uncanny?

How else should one describe this?

@dadsonfarms

Krew and Karis at The Revival livestock Show! #showpigs #pigshow

"This is the weirdest thing 😂😂🤣 I have so many questions!!!" wrote one person.

"Why do I feel like this is a staring competition and the pigs are just a added difficulty 🤣," wrote another.

"Yay!!! I’m back on hunchback death stare competition while also showing pigs tiktok!" exclaimed another.

"Again. What did I react to, to end me up here?" asked another.

If you've ever stepped foot in the world of 4-H or FFA (Future Farmers of America), you likely recognize there's a livestock showing competition happening here. But if you're a city slicker with no rural or agricultural ties, you may not know that "showing" animals is even a thing.

Not only it it a thing, but it's a highly competitive endeavor with specific rules and guidelines and expectations. It does help to have the showmanship requirements explained, however, and thankfully the kids' dad explained in a separate video.

The kids showcased here are Karis and Krew, twins who compete in the 13 to 16-year-old category of pig showing. The pigs are Smack Down and Greta. The reason the competitors stare so intently is to show they are paying attention to the judge and also to show how much control they have. (And according to one commenter, they get extra points for keeping eye contact with the judge the whole time.)

More questions answered here:

@dadsonfarms

@Lawrence Johnson I tried to answer all your Questions about showing Pigs 😊! #showpigs #pigshow

People have been fascinated to learn about how much goes into these exhibitions. Who knew pig showing was this intense? And with judges being flown across the country—there's an official Livestock Judges' Association and everything—this is clearly serious business.

Except when you add the music to it, it just comes off as seriously strange hilarity.

@dadsonfarms

Great night to show at western regionals #showpigs #hogshowman

So what exactly is the point of all of this?

When livestock showing began in the 1800s, the primary purpose was to improve the quality of livestock. These days, it's more about helping young people developing character qualities through programs like 4-H and FFA while learning about farm animal care and preparation for selling. They learn about responsibility, self-discipline, hard work and professionalism through these competitions.

And they clearly master making eye contact as well. You can follow @dadsonfarms on TikTok for more.

From Your Site Articles
animals
Joy

'90s kid shares the 10 lies that everyone's parent told them

"Don't swallow that gum. If you do, it'll take 7 years to come out."

via 90sKidforLife/TikTok (used with permission)

90sKidforLife shares 10 lies everyone's parents told in the era.


Children believe everything their parents tell them. So when parents lie to prevent their kids to stop them from doing something dumb, the mistruth can take on a life of its own. The lie can get passed on from generation to generation until it becomes a zombie lie that has a life of its own.

Justin, known as 90sKidforLife on TikTok and Instagram, put together a list of 10 lies that parents told their kids in the ‘90s, and the Gen X kids in the comments thought it was spot on.

“Why was I told EVERY ONE of these?” Brittany, the most popular commenter, wrote. “I heard all of these plus the classic ‘If you keep making that face, it will get stuck like that,’” Amanda added. After just four days of being posted, it has already been seen 250,000 times.

Parents were always lying #90s #90skids #parenting

@90skid4lyfe

Parents were always lying #90s #90skids #parenting

Here are Justin’s 10 lies '90s parents told their kids:

1. "You can't drink coffee. It'll stunt your growth."

2. "If you pee in the pool, it's gonna turn blue."

3. "Chocolate milk comes from brown cows."

4. "If you eat those watermelon seeds, you'll grow a watermelon in your stomach."

5. "Don't swallow that gum. If you do, it'll take 7 years to come out."

6. "I told you we can't drive with the interior light on. ... It's illegal."

7. "Sitting that close to the TV is going to ruin your vision."

8. "If you keep cracking your knuckles, you're gonna get arthritis."

8. "You just ate, you gotta wait 30 minutes before you can swim."

10. "If you get a tattoo, you won't find a job."

From Your Site Articles
1990s nostalgia
Trending Stories