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Europeans playfully roast an American woman for her 'primitive' fork and knife skills

She was trying to do it the "European way" and failed disastrously.

@amygordy1/TikTok

Who knew such a simple thing could be such a marker of cultural diversity?

While American Amy Gordy was traveling abroad, she noticed that, among many cultural differences, folks across the pond go about using their fork and knife differently.

As opposed to using the dominant hand to cut food with a knife, then switch the fork over to said dominant hand (the way she was taught), the fork is always in the left hand, turned down, and the knife is always in the right.

If this is the first you’re hearing of the “European way” to use silverware, you're not alone. Gordy also had no idea, but she thought it couldn’t possibly feel that different from her "American" way of eating, so she figured she’d give it a try. How hard could it be?

Quite hard…apparently. In a video posted to her TikTok, we see Gordy struggle to ignore every instinct in her body telling her to move that fork over to her other hand. Laughing at herself, she awkwardly attempts to “scoop” a bit of sauce with her knife onto the downturned fork, and, as though reverting back to toddlerhood, clumsily moves her mouth to meet the forkful of food.

@amygordy1 I don’t expect this to be that hard 🍴 #silverware #dining ♬ original sound - Amy Gordy

“I [didn’t] expect this to be that hard,” she quipped in her caption.

She probably also didn’t expect her clip to get 2.5 million views, or entice so many delightful digs from Europeans about silverware etiquette.

It’s not the ‘European Way’, it THE CORRECT WAY."

“Americans are so primitive for world leaders!!! Hold your knife in your right hand! It’s your dinner sword.”

“Scottish here. Absolutely baffled why you’re struggling to use a knife and fork.”

“This is mindblowing. It’s like watching the Middle Ages.”

“Uff Germany here— I can’t even watch that. WHAT are you doing?”

And perhaps the best comment of all: “Americans abroad is my favorite nature program.”

- YouTubeyoutube.com


There was also a bit of a debate as to whether or not it was rude to talk to someone while said utensils were in hand. Gordy’s dinner companion seemed to feel it was. Europeans…not so much.

“Am I missing something??!? Eating properly is rude in America??”

“I switched to this method after traveling to London and have never switched back to the ‘American’ way cuz this is so much easier…People talk with utensils in their hands all the time, it’s never been rude.”

- YouTubeyoutube.com

This is obviously more of a playful look at how something so automatic in our daily lives can look and feel wildly different through the lens of different cultures, rather than a debate as to which way really is the “right” way. After all, neither Americans nor Europeans even invented the fork. Surprisingly, that honor belongs to China during the Bronze Age, and the mysterious origin of using cutlery at the dinner table is thought to be from ancient Greece. So these countries are certainly not the authorities.

Furthermore, it’s not like the often intuitive fork and knife combo are the end all, be all of eating utensils anyway. We’ve got chopsticks, spoons, sporks, skewers, tongs, tortillas or injera, and good old fashioned hands. With so many options, and so many ways to use each and every one, why debate on the right way to use them, barring any truly disrespectful faux pas?

But hey, at least most of us can agree that talking with a mouth full of food is, in fact, rude.

People are right to complain about being charged a cleaning fee and being asked to do chores.

In 2016, My husband and I started renting out the basement apartment of our house as a short-term rental on Airbnb. We live in a college town and figured we'd get some guests during football game weekends and graduations. We didn't realize at the time how many people come to our town to visit their college kids or check out the school, so we were pleasantly surprised by how regularly we were booked.

In 2019, we moved into the house next door and now rent out both floors of the old house as separate units. We love being Airbnb hosts and have had a very successful run of it, with almost 1,000 5-star reviews, Superhost status, and lots of repeat guests.

airbnb, vrbo, short term rental, checkout chores, cleaning fees, airbnb hostBeing regular guests haas helped make us good Airbnb hosts.Photo credit: Canva

Part of the secret of our success? We don't charge a cleaning fee or make guests do check-out chores.

In fact, we find both things rather loathsome.

What makes us good hosts is that we've been Airbnb guests for years. As a family of five that travels a lot, we've found far more value in short-term rentals than in hotels over the years. We love having a kitchen, living room, and bedrooms and feeling like we have a "home" while traveling. We even spent a nomadic year staying at short-term rentals for a month at a time.

When you've experienced dozens of Airbnbs as a guest, you learn what guests appreciate and what they don't. You see what's annoying and unnecessary and what's to be expected in comparison to a hotel. We started taking mental notes long before we started our own rental about what we would want to do and not do if we ever had one and have implemented those things now that we do.

Chasing Tom And Jerry GIF by MaxGiphy

As guests, we know the pain of the cleaning fee, so we don't charge one.

It helps that my husband has a flexible schedule and grew up helping with his parents' janitorial service, so most of the time he cleans the apartments himself. We could charge a cleaning fee for his time and labor, but even if we were paying for outside cleaners, we still wouldn't put a separate fee onto guest bookings. It makes far more sense to us to just wrap the cleaning fee into the price.

From a host's perspective, the one-night stay is where the cleaning fee question hits the hardest. Whether someone stays one night or 10 nights, the cleaning cost is the same. But spreading the cost over 10 nights is a very different beast than adding it to one night, especially from a guest's perspective. On the host side, if we had to pay cleaners without passing that fee onto guests, we've barely make anything on one-night stays. But on the guest side, a $100 a night stay suddenly jumping to $150 or more because a cleaning fee was added is painful, and often a dealbreaker. You can see the conundrum.

The way we see it, and as other Airbnb hosts have found, wrapping cleaning costs into the base price comes out in the wash over time, as long as you have some longer-term stays mixed in with the one-nighters. And it's a much better experience for the guest not to get hit with sticker shock on the "final cost" screen, which is already eye-popping when the platform's service fees and local taxes are added on.

(I will say, this may only ring true for smaller units. If you're renting a huge home, cleaning costs are going to be higher just because it takes longer to clean. But I still don't think the full cost should be passed onto guests as a separate fee.)

airbnb, vrbo, short term rental, checkout chores, cleaning feeAsking guests to stip the sheets saves almost no time and costs a lot in goodwill.Photo credit: Canva

There's no reason at all to ask guests to do check-out chores

As for check-out chores—asking guests to do things like start laundry, sweep the floor, take out the trash, etc.—those have never made sense to us. Hosts should have enough switch-out linens that laundry doesn't have to be started prior to checking out, and none of those chores save enough time for the cleaning people to make it worth asking guests to do it. I can see taking out trash if there wasn't going to be another guest for a while, but usually you'd want to clean right away after a stay anyway just in case it does get booked last minute.

The only thing we ask guests to do is to start the dishwasher if they have dirty dishes (as a guest, that seems like a logical and reasonable request), lock the door, and have a safe trip home. Don't need to pull the sheets. Don't need to take out any garbage or recycling. Those things don't take that long, but that's just as much a reason not to ask guests to do it. Annoying your guests by asking them to do something extra—especially if they're already paying a cleaning fee—isn't worth the tiny bit of time it might save the cleaning people.

airbnb, vrbo, short term rental, checkout chores, cleaning feeMost guests are try to leave the place as they found it, standard cleaning routine aside. Photo credit: Canva

This approach works very well, because 95% of guests leave the space neat and tidy anyway.

In almost 10 years, I can count on one hand how many problems we've had with guests leaving a significant mess. That's been a pleasant surprise, but I think part of the reason is that guests are simply reciprocating the respect and consideration we show them by not making them pay extra fees or do chores on their way out. We're going to have to clean it anyway, so putting work on them is unnecessarily burdensome, even if it's something that doesn't take long. People recognize that.

To be fair, it probably helps that we aren't some big real estate tycoon buying up a bunch of apartments and turning them into short-term rentals run by impersonal management companies. People's complaints about how short-term rentals impact local housing economies are legitimate. Our situation is more aligned with the original "sharing economy" model, renting out our home to guests who come through town. And in a small college town with a large university, there often aren't enough hotel rooms during busy weekends anyway, so it's been a bit of a win-win all around.

I think us being in close proximity, having personal communication with our guests (but also leaving them their privacy), and not charging or asking anything extra of them makes them want to be respectful guests. From our perspective, both as guests and hosts, cleaning fees and check-out chores simply aren't worth their cost.

This article originally appeared last year.

Internet

Airbnb host ditches the cleaning fee and finds unexpected benefits

The host went for a more "honest" approach with her listings—and saw the behavior of her guests change dramatically.

@rachelrboice/TikTok
Many frustrated Airbnb customers have complained that the separate cleaning fee is a nuisance.

We've all been there. We've discovered the perfect Airbnb, maybe a little cottage in the mountains, or a condo with stunning beach views. And the price is right in our budget. Hallelujah! Then, unfortunately, when we get to the booking page we realize our total cost is far higher than expected. Why? It's the dreading cleaning fee.

Airbnb defines its notorious cleaning fee as a “one-time charge” set by the host that helps them arrange anything from carpet shampoo to replenishing supplies to hiring an outside cleaning service—all in the name of ensuring guests have a “clean and tidy space.”

But as many frustrated Airbnb customers will tell you, this feature is viewed as more of a nuisance than a convenience. According to NerdWallet, the general price for a cleaning fee is around $75, but can vary greatly between listings, with some units having cleaning fees that are higher than the nightly rate (all while sometimes still being asked to do certain chores before checking out). And often none of these fees show up in the total price until right before the booking confirmation, leaving many travelers feeling confused and taken advantage of. It's certainly a case of sticker shock if you're used to staying in hotels.

However, some hosts are now opting to build cleaning fees into the overall price of their listings, mimicking the strategy of traditional hotels.

Rachel Boice runs two Airbnb properties in Georgia with her husband Parker—one being this fancy glass plane tiny house (seen below) that promises a perfect glamping experience.

@rachelrboice

Welcome to The Tiny Glass House 🤎 #airbnbfinds #exploregeorgia #travelbucketlist #tinyhouse #glampingnotcamping #atlantageorgia #fyp

Like most Airbnb hosts, the Boice’s listing originally showed a nightly rate and separate cleaning fee. According to her interview with Insider, the original prices broke down to $89 nightly, and $40 for the cleaning fee.

But after noticing the negative response the separate fee got from potential customers, Rachel told Insider that she began charging a nightly rate that included the cleaning fee, totaling to $129 a night.

It’s a marketing strategy that more and more hosts are attempting in order to generate more bookings (people do love feeling like they’re getting a great deal) but Boice argued that the trend will also become more mainstream since the current Airbnb model “doesn’t feel honest.” Which is funny, because if anything listing the cleaning charge is more transparent! But users tend to feel duped because they can't see the full price when they're browsing the listings.

"We stay in Airbnbs a lot. I pretty much always pay a cleaning fee," Boice told Insider. "You're like: 'Why am I paying all of this money? This should just be built in for the cost.'"

How much can it cost to clean a tiny house like this one? Photo by Aysegul Yahsi on Unsplash

Since combining costs, Rachel began noticing another unexpected perk beyond customer satisfaction: guests actually left her property cleaner than before they were charged a cleaning fee.

Her hypothesis was that they assumed she would be handling the cleaning herself.

"I guess they're thinking, 'I'm not paying someone to clean this, so I'll leave it clean,'" she said.

This discovery echoes a similar anecdote given by another Airbnb host, who told NerdWallet guests who knew they were paying a cleaning fee would “sometimes leave the place looking like it’s been lived in and uncleaned for months.” So, it appears to be that being more transparent and lumping all fees into one overall price makes for a happier (and more considerate) customer.

This phenomenon has been studied by economists across many different fields. A blueberry farmer once considered charging customers for grazing on blueberries as they walked until an economist told him paying the fee would just encourage people to eat even more. Daycares who charge parents fees for picking their kids up late often find the fee increases the number of late parents instead of decreasing it.

It comes down to the "cost" of a decision. If you pay the same cleaning fee no matter what condition you leave the property in, a lot of people will find it's just not worth their time to tidy up after themselves. When the cost of leaving the place filthy is more nebulous, or human (forcing another person to do it), people are more willing to help out.

snow white, cleaning, airbnb, hotels, travel, humanity, kindness, economicsWe're happy to clean up if we think we're saving someone else the troubleGiphy



These days, it’s hard to not be embittered by deceptive junk fees, which can seem to appear anywhere without warning—surprise overdraft charges, surcharges on credit cards, the never convenience “convenience charge” when purchasing event tickets. Junk fees are so rampant that certain measures are being taken to try to eliminate them outright in favor of more honest business approachesSpeaking of a more honest approach—as of December 2022, AirBnb began updating its app and website so that guests can see a full price breakdown that shows a nightly rate, a cleaning fee, Airbnb service fee, discounts, and taxes before confirming their booking.

Guests can also activate a toggle function before searching for a destination, so that full prices will appear in search results—avoiding unwanted financial surprises.

As for Boice, business is booming. After her story went viral on TikTok, she decided to expand her property business with another glass house.

@rachelrboice

the other one is going so well so why not 🤷🏼‍♀️ #fyp #tinyhouse #tinyglasshouse #airbnb #atlanta #georgia #uniquestays #camping

Users were thrilled, especially ones who live in Georgia, within shouting distance of her properties. And after all the viral exposure, she's still not charging cleaning fees. Although, there's not much she can do about those pesky "Airbnb service fees." Oh well. You can't win 'em all.

This article originally appeared two years ago.

Tammy Nelson refused to change seats for mom and kids

If you've traveled on an airplane in the last several years, you know it's much cheaper to chose the basic seats in the main cabin. There's nothing inherently different about these particular seats, other than the fact that it will be randomly selectee by the airline. If you're traveling alone, that's really not a bad deal, but you're traveling with a party that you'd like to keep together - like your children—the risk gets to be a little higher. One mom traveling with an 11 and 15-year old took the risk and banked on a stranger accommodating...that's not quite how it played out.

Tammy Nelson did a double take at her ticket after seeing the mom in her window seat. Of course, people accidentally sit in the wrong seats on planes all the time. However, Nelson quickly realized that this was no accident. This mom boarded the plane with her older children and had taken it upon herself to sit in the same row as her children, essentially commandeering a stranger's seat. Nelson assumed it was a mistake and informed the woman that the seat was in fact hers but the response she received was surprising.

"She said, 'Oh, you want to sit here?'," Nelson told Good Morning America. "She said, 'Oh, well I just thought I could switch with you because these are my kids.'"

airline, airline seating, best airplane seat, flying with kis, flying with teens, airplane drama, airplane karen, travelmedia1.giphy.com

That's an interesting assumption considering seats are assigned and many people, like Nelson, pay extra to have the seat they prefer. Now, there's no telling if funds were tight and this was an unplanned trip for the mom and kids which caused her to buy the more budget friendly tickets or if she was simply being frugal and was banking on the kindness of a stranger.

Either way, Nelson specifically paid for a window seat due to motion sickness and though she paid extra, she was willing to sit in the other row if that seat was also a window seat. But it turns out, it was a middle seat.

Surely there's someone out there that loves the middle seat. Maybe a cold natured person that enjoys the body heat of two strangers sitting uncomfortably close. Or perhaps someone that doesn't mind accidentally sleeping on an unsuspecting passenger's shoulder. But that person wasn't Nelson, so when the middle seat was offered in exchange for her bought and paid for window seat, she politely but firmly declined.

@myconquering Having had only 90 minutes of sleep the night before and knowing I had to give a presentation to 500 people, I desperately needed some sleep, so I did not agree to switch seats. 🤷♀️ Before anyone comes after me… the kids looked like they were about 11 and 15 years old. And the mom was in arms-reach of both of them from the middle seat in the row behind us. The mom proceeded to complain for at least 15 minutes to the person next to her loud enough for me to hear. But the woman actually defended me – several times. It was so kind and I appreciated it so much because I was feeling really guilty. 🤦♀️ ##airplaneseat##seatswitching##airplanekarens ♬ original sound - MyCONQUERing

Her refusal to give in to the mom's seemingly entitled request for Nelson's seat has resulted in parents and child-fee people cheering her on after she posted the details on her TikTok page, MyCONQUERing, which quickly racked over 3.4 million views.

"Nope. If it's not an upgrade it's a sacrifice," a commenter wrote.

"You did the RIGHT thing. Folks need to plan their travel together. Lack of planning on their part does not constitute an inconvenience on yours," one person said.

"I have 3 kids and have sat in different rows when they were passed toddler age. I agree, book your flight earlier," another said.

"You were right. As a woman with 3 children, I always pay extra so we're sat together," another mom said.

airline, airline seating, best airplane seat, flying with kis, flying with teens, airplane drama, airplane karen, travelmedia3.giphy.com

Luckily, there's been enough incidences like this to prompt actual change. More airlines are guaranteeing free family seating for parents with children under a certain age (not that that does much more the woman in this story, but still). Additionally, the U.S. Department of Transportation is proposing a rule requiring airlines to provide fee-free family seating and clearly disclose this right to passengers.

This article originally appeared two years ago. It has since been updated.