+
upworthy
Family

People are sharing the marriage advice that 'sounded absurd' but is actually really helpful

Here are 19 of the best responses.

marriage advice, marriage tips, divorce
via Pexels

Work at it every single day folks.

The best advice isn’t always obvious, or else we would have thought of it ourselves. It often comes out of left field and can be counterintuitive. When it comes to marriage, the best advice tends to be centered around keeping a focus on the long game.

One of the best pieces of marriage advice I ever received was, “Buy her a bottle of shampoo from time to time without her asking.” Now, that doesn’t mean to get shampoo specifically, but just pick up something here and there to show you care and are thinking about her.



Marriage, if done right, is forever, so that often means taking a loss in the short-term to enjoy the long-term benefits of a happy life with someone. This is great as a concept but in practice can be pretty darn hard, day in and day out.

Hence why about 50% of American marriages end in divorce.

Reddit user thecountnotthesaint put out a call to the AskMen forum for some of the best marriage advice that “sounded absurd” but was actually helpful.

The question was inspired by some advice the Reddit user had received from their father, who claimed that a king-sized bed is the key to a happy marriage. "I'll be damned if that wasn't one of the best decisions we made aside from getting married and having kids," they wrote.

A lot of the advice was about being careful not to escalate small disagreements into larger arguments that could turn personal and ugly. A lot of people think that to have a successful marriage means being able to compromise and to let things go quickly.

Here are some of the best responses to the question, “What random marriage advice sounded absurd but was actually spot on helpful?”

1.

"Dad said 'Be kind even if you’re not feeling it. Maybe especially if you’re not feeling it.'” — semantician

2. 

"At my wedding, my wife's Grandmother offered so funny, weird, solid advice. She said, 'If you get angry with each other, go to bed naked and see if you can resolve it before you go to sleep.' So far, so good. Anniversary on Monday!" — drizzyjdracco

3. 

"The advice I’ve given people is this: if you can go grocery shopping with your person and have the best time ever, you have yourself a keeper. It’s all about making the best of the mundane things, because after years of being together, life becomes predictable. You’ll need to keep the spice going, regardless of what you’re doing. Source: married 15 years." — LemonFizzy0000

4. 

"My grandfather told me 'Never go to bed with dirty dishes in the sink.' What I learned is that he would always help my grandma and that is when they did their most talking." — t480

5. 

"When our kid was about to be born, someone told me to change the first diaper. If you can handle the first one, the others will be easy.' So I did. I didn't know what I was doing, so I asked the nurse at the hospital to teach me, and I changed the first several few diapers while my wife recovered from a difficult labor. The advice was correct, no other diaper was as disgusting as the first one. It got very easy and I never minded doing it, and my wife was really really grateful. And I loved that I could take on some of the parenting chores, since there was so much that she was the only one... equipped to provide." — wordserious

6. 

"Focus on tackling the problem, not each other." — bobbobbobbobbob123

7. 


"Don’t have too high of expectations. My dad told us that, but we found most of our early fights were when one or the other had unspoken expectations of the other or marriage. It is positively life changing to be married, and an amazing experience, but still life goes on."— nopants_ranchdance

8. 

"Marry him for who he is. Not his potential." — There-is-No-beyond

9. 


"My stepmom just passed away, and dad said something that has profoundly changed my attitude: 'The little things that annoyed me are the things I now miss.' So, like, yea for some reason she squeezes a massive glob of toothpaste which mostly falls into the sink basin and she doesn't wash away the toothpaste spit. If/when she's gone, that little constant annoyance that reminds me she's there will be gone too. Don't nag on the little things, rather, embrace them. (still, let her know she has made progress on other things I've pointed out, as I try to adapt to her wishes)." — drewkungfu

10. 

"Say thank you for day to day things, even taking out the trash, sweeping the floor, or folding laundry. Audibly hearing thank you reinforces the feeling of being appreciated." — BVolatte

11. 

"Randomly give your partner a cold beverage on a hot day. It's the little things that show you care." — Purple12Inchruler

12. 


"You don't just marry her, you marry her whole damn family."
— crazypersn

13. 

"One of my colonels told me: 'Just buy two damn pizzas, instead of arguing over the toppings.'"— MgoBlue702

14. 

"Be honest. Don't lie to your partner." — Mikeydeeluxe

15. 

"Don’t marry a woman whose dad calls her 'princess,' because she probably believes it. Much to his regret, my brother ignored this advice from our dad." — Toadie9622

16. 

"My fiance always says that 'just because' flowers are the best kind of flowers." — agaribay1010

17. 

"My Gramps who was married for over 50 yrs said: 'tell her you love her every single day.' Kind of obvious, but I definitely took it to heart." — sorellk

18. 

"Love isn’t about having 'nice feelings for each other.' It’s about acting for the betterment of someone else, even if you don’t feel like it. Emotions will change. Your willingness to treat your spouse a certain way doesn’t have to." — sirplaind

19. 


"Bill Maher said "The three most important words in a relationship aren't 'I love you', they're 'let it go.' Oddly, this has proven to be some of the best relationship advice I've ever heard."
— KrssCom


This article originally appeared on 05.30.22

Family

Woman goes to huge lengths to adopt husband's ex-wife's baby to save him from foster care

She had lived in foster care and didn't want it for the newborn with no name.

Christie Werts and her son, Levi


Christie and Wesley Werts have taken the idea of a blended family to the next level. When the couple fell in love five years ago and married, they brought together her children, Megan and Vance, and his children, Austin and Dakota.

As of January, the Ohio family has five children after adopting young Levi, 2. Levi is the son of Wesley’s ex-wife, who passed away four days after the child was born. The ex-wife had the boy prematurely, at 33 weeks, and died soon after from drug addiction and complications of COVID-19.

When Levi was born, he was a ward of the state with no first name or birth certificate.

Keep ReadingShow less
Music

Beyoncé’s cover of ‘Blackbird’ has fans praising Paul McCartney after learning its true meaning

"I already loved Blackbird, and this cover, but knowing this history makes it so much more meaningful."

Beyoncé photo by Blair Caldwell via Beyoncé Press/Paul McCartney by Melissa Lopes via Flickr

Beyoncé covers "Blackbird' and fans are praising Paul McCartney

Beyoncé released a new album recently and unless you've been asleep for the past few weeks, you've likely heard about it. While everyone knew she was going to make a more significant splash into the country music genre, the details of the album were scarce until it's release. To many people's surprise it wasn't simply a country album, it was a genre bender that somehow seamlessly transitioned country, pop, R&B and rap all in one album, Cowboy Carter.

Country music legends like Willie Nelson and Dolly Parton made an appearance, with Parton introducing Beyoncé's cover of her infamous song "Jolene." While the spin on that country classic has the internet abuzz over the lyric changes that take the singer from begging to assertively telling Jolene to stay away, it's "Blackbird" that many can't get enough of.

"Blackbird" was originally written by Paul McCartney and sung by a little band he was in named The Beatles. Maybe you've heard of them. The song topped the charts in the 60s and will likely make its way to the charts again with Queen Bey's cover of it. But it's the meaning behind the song that has people talking.

Keep ReadingShow less
Joy

When a newborn lamb was rejected by her mother, the family dog stepped in to nurture her

A mother's urge to care for a baby is one of the strongest instincts in the animal kingdom

@oliviajaneakers/TikTok (used with permission)

Max took over when Beau's mom refused to care for her.


A mother's urge to care for a baby is one of the strongest instincts in the animal kingdom, but sometimes something somewhere along the line goes haywire. Occasionally, a mom will reject its offspring, refusing to nurture or feed or care for it in any way.

That's what happened to baby Beau, a lamb born to a sheep on Olivia Akers' farm.

"Beau’s mom didn’t want to be a mom. I don’t have an exact answer as to why," Akers shared on Instagram. "I tried EVERYTHING under the sun to get her to accept Beau. Rubbing the placenta for scent, also tried with her milk, giving them time in close quarters. She got progressively more violent, telling me she didn’t want to do this. So I listened."

Keep ReadingShow less

Ramy Youssef at the 2017 MPAC Media Awards

Actor and comedian Ramy Youssef pulled off an incredible feat in his March 30, 2024 Saturday Night Live appearance, mixing religion, politics and humor in a way that disarmed and united people. Some people are calling it one of the best SNL monologues ever, and it's genuinely impressive to watch.

How often have you seen someone manage to talk about religion, prayer, the upcoming election, and something like the bombardment of Palestine in a way that isn't offensive, obnoxious, or overwrought and that's also funny? Never, right?

Youssef somehow did all of that in an 8-minute stand-up comedy routine that was equal parts warm, genuine, heartfelt and humorous.

Keep ReadingShow less
Joy

Couple lives permanently on cruise ships because it costs ‘half’ the price of life on land

"We now have a telephone bill, a ship bill and a few credit card bills for when we go ashore, but that's it.”

A white cruise ship crosses the sea.

Given the rapidly changing cost of living in the United States, lifestyle options that once seemed luxurious are now starting to look like good deals. A growing trend is that retirees are choosing to spend their golden years on cruise ships instead of living in a retirement community.

The latest examples of this trend are John, 76, and Melody Hennessee, 64. Before retiring, John was a doctor and the couple also owned an art gallery in Stuart, Florida. In 2021, the couple sold everything and purchased an RV to see the country, but after a few years, they were exhausted.

“The constant maintenance, fueling, and planning,” he told Realtor.com.

Keep ReadingShow less
Pop Culture

Why Beyonce's 'Protector' song has parents bawling

"Beyonce you gonna need to start paying for my therapy cause the way these tears are flowing."

Beyoncé/Youtube

Brb, grabbing tissues.

Not even 24 hours after its release, Beyoncé’s soulful, genre-bending “Cowboy Carter” album broke records on Spotify, becoming the platform’s most-streamed album in a single day so far this year.

With 27 tracks—ranging from thought-provoking covers to an eclectic array of originals—there’s a little something for everyone. There’s even a more whoopass version of Dolly Parton’s “Jolene.

But there’s one tune in particular that’s striking a cord with parents. Not to mention making them shed a few tears.

Keep ReadingShow less