Couple shares the 7 unspoken rules of their marriage and 6 are totally worth stealing

When you decide to marry the person you're madly in love with, it's easy to assume things will just work out. But as we all know from the statistics, that's not really how lifelong commitment works. Relationships are wonderful when they're good, but good relationships rarely just happen on their own. It takes intention and communication and dedication on the part of both partners to have a happy, healthy marriage.

What that looks like is different for every couple, of course, but it's always good to see specific examples of what helps a relationship thrive. Perhaps that's why a wife and husband's video sharing the "7 unspoken rules" of their marriage has nearly 1.5 million views in a week. Not only are Lila and Sean's rules rooted in solid relationship dynamics, but the way they deliver them makes it clear that they truly adore one another.

Rule #1: You have to "riff the bit"

Let's say your wife is making dinner and you walk into the kitchen. She says, "Hallo, my dahhling!" as if she's a character in Downton Abbey. What do you do?

"If someone comes in and they're improving—they have a character, or they're talking in a British accent, you gotta go with the joke," says Lila. "It's an improv house. This is 'yes, and'…it's a 'yes, and' kind of environment here." Then she and Sean give a perfect, brief example as they both don a Barbara from "Coffee Talk" on SNL accent.

Barbara from "Coffee Talk" on SNL Giphy

Why it's worth considering: This rule is all about playfulness and creativity and delighting in one another's silliness. It says, "I see your goofy and celebrate it." It also helps you both not take things too seriously.

Rule #2: Grocery shop treat

"Whoever does the grocery shopping has to pick up a sweet treat, a surprise, for the other person," says Sean. "Usually Lili will pick me up a kombucha or something, and I'll pick her up chocolate or flowers."

couple chocolate GIF by South Park Giphy

Why it's worth considering: Assuming you're switching off the grocery shopping pretty evenly, this rule is a great opportunity to show thoughtfulness and consideration to your partner. Nothing major, just a little treat. The little things sometimes feel like big things over time.

Rule #3: She gets the rewards

Sean and Lili explain that Lili gets the free coffee on the punch card when they've reached 10 coffees and get the 11th one free. Any time there's a reward, she gets it. They do not explain this one, however…

She always gets the rewards. Photo credit: Canva

Why it's worth considering: There are two reasons why this rule makes sense. One, it eliminates deciding each time who gets the reward, thereby removing any possibility for bickering or competition. Sometimes a clear rule helps simplify things. Why her and not him? Well, there's plenty of research on the disproportionate burden women bear when it comes to household and family duties, even when a couple tries to even it out. A free coffee once in a while seems like a fair trade off.

Rule #4: A joke is only a joke if we both find it funny

"A joke is only a joke if both of us are laughing, says Sean."

"If one of us is laughing and the other is embarrassed or scared or upset, then it's not a joke," adds Lili. "That can't continue. It's only funny if we both find it funny."

Joking Schitts Creek GIF by CBC Giphy

Why it's worth considering: This is just a good life rule in general. Humor can be a great way to bond, and it can also be used to hurt someone. If only one of you is laughing, it's not funny.

Rule #5: Share everything at a restaurant

"Everything we order, we're splitting," Lili says. "There is nothing that is just yours or just mine." She says it would make her so sad if Sean said, "I don't want you to have a bite of this."

You don't have to go to this length of sharing. Photo credit: Canva

Why it's worth considering: First of all, having this understanding from the get go prevents a lot of annoyance over someone taking bites of your food. Some couples may actually set up an opposite rule—no sharing food at restaurants—and that might work for them, too. But sharing food as a matter of course lets you share the experience together, compare dishes, talk about the flavors, etc. Just make sure you're both cognizant of not hogging anything.

Rule #6: If the dog is comfy on you, you don't have to do anything

"You cannot disrupt the dog," says Lili. "If Beans is cozy, you win, you get to stay cozy with Beans." The other person has to do dishes, bring the person with the dog water, etc.

Whoever has the dog on their lap must be served. Photo credit: Canva

Why it's worth considering: First of all, this is the rule at most homes with pets that I know. Secondly, it's a sign that you're caring for something together and recognize that caregiving is an important role. Caregiving will be a big part of a lifelong relationship, from raising kids to taking care of aging parents.

Rule #7: The money rule

Lili pulls this from Barbara once again: "I've got two rules for this marriage. Number one, you don't tell me how you make your money. And number two, I don't tell you how I spend it."

Mike Myers playing Barbara on SNL Giphy

Why it's worth considering: It's not. It's a joke. (According to Lili in the comments.)

People loved seeing Lili and Sean's rules, calling them "wholesome" and "healthy." While it's not a great idea to have rigid or controlling rules in a relationship, rules that establish healthy boundaries, methods of communication, the way things are done in the household, etc. can actually be a big help to a couple. And while Lili and Sean's "rules" might seem silly on the surface, they're actually rooted in healthy relationship dynamics. As long as a couple comes up with them together, with both people in full agreement, it might be a good idea to create your own "rules" in you relationship. Lili and Sean clearly had fun with this together, and that alone is a promising indicator of a happy marriage.

You can follow Lila and Sean for more on TikTok.