A woman eating two donuts.
In Western culture, there has always been the assumption that self-control lies at the root of having a successful and happy life. After all, early to bed and early to rise makes one happy, wealthy, and wise, right? We assume that the child who chooses to wait 10 minutes to eat two marshmallows rather than eat only one right away has the impulse control to succeed in life. However, a new study from Singapore shows that we may have things backward.
Is self-control the key to happiness?
Researchers at the National University of Singapore noted that there was little solid research demonstrating that self-control was the key to happiness and success, so they set out to test that assumption. They found that the causal relationship between self-control and happiness or success was "surprisingly weak and fraught with issues."
A woman having a goofball moment.via Canva/Photos
The researchers conducted two experiments, one involving participants in China and the other in the United States. Both came back with the same results: Participants who ranked high in self-control didn't appear to be any happier six months later. However, participants who reported high levels of "well-being" at the initial assessment showed greater self-control at the subsequent measurement.
To put things simply, self-control doesn't create personal well-being. People who cultivated well-being later showed improved self-control at the follow-up assessment. The key takeaway is this: If you want to achieve a goal, focus on your mental and emotional well-being first. Once that is aligned, you create the internal environment needed to take on difficult tasks. Feeling well leads to functioning well.
Feeling well precedes functioning well
"Instead of viewing happiness as a reward you get after achieving your goals through discipline, think of well-being as the fuel that powers the engine of self-control," Lile Jia, an associate professor at the National University of Singapore and director of the Situated Goal Pursuit (SPUR) Lab, told PsyPost. "If you want to get better at resisting temptations, starting new projects, or sticking with good habits, a great first step is to invest in activities that make you feel happy, energetic, optimistic, and appreciative of life. Our research indicates that feeling well precedes functioning well."
Jia conducted a 2018 study on college students and sports that reached a similar conclusion. The question was this: Do high-achieving students take time off from their studies to watch their football or basketball teams, or is that break taken only by students with lower GPAs? The study found that high-achieving students did take time off to watch their teams, but they planned ahead by adding extra study hours in the week before games. Conversely, low-GPA students skipped the game altogether.
The lesson of the study: More successful people still enjoy indulgences; they simply plan them in advance so they can enjoy them more than if they were last-minute decisions.
The good news from Jia's work is that the road to success doesn't have to be a struggle, because the happier and healthier we are, the more successful we'll be.
"Instead, it can be paved with positive experiences," Jia said. "By actively cultivating joy, engagement, and meaning in our lives, we are not just making ourselves feel better in the moment; we are also building the psychological resources we need to be more effective and successful in the future. It places the pursuit of well-being at the very center of personal growth."