upworthy
Add Upworthy to your Google News feed.
Google News Button
Family

People are sharing the marriage advice that 'sounded absurd' but is actually really helpful

Here are 19 of the best responses.

man and woman in counseling behind comment
via Pexels

Work at it every single day, folks.


The best advice isn’t always obvious, or else we would have thought of it ourselves. It often comes out of left field and can be counterintuitive at the time, but it eventually sinks in. When it comes to marriage, the best advice tends to be centered around keeping a focus on the long game.

One of the best pieces of marriage advice I ever received was, “Buy her a bottle of shampoo from time to time without her asking.” Now, that doesn’t mean to get shampoo specifically, but just pick up something here and there to show you care and are thinking about her.

Marriage, if done right, is forever, so that often means taking a loss in the short-term to enjoy the long-term benefits of a happy life with someone. This is great as a concept, but as a practice it can be pretty darn hard day in and day out. Hence why about 50% of American marriages end in divorce.

Reddit user thecountnotthesaint put out a call to the AskMen forum for some of the best marriage advice that “sounded absurd” but was actually helpful.

The question was inspired by some advice the Reddit user had received from their father, who claimed that a king-sized bed is the key to a happy marriage. "I'll be damned if that wasn't one of the best decisions we made aside from getting married and having kids," they wrote.

A lot of the advice was about being careful not to escalate small disagreements into larger arguments that could turn personal and ugly. A lot of people think that to have a successful marriage means being able to compromise and to let things go quickly.

Here are some of the best responses to the question, “What random marriage advice sounded absurd but was actually spot on helpful?”

1.

"Dad said 'Be kind even if you’re not feeling it. Maybe especially if you’re not feeling it.'” — semantician

2. 

"At my wedding, my wife's Grandmother offered so[me] funny, weird, solid advice. She said, 'If you get angry with each other, go to bed naked and see if you can resolve it before you go to sleep.' So far, so good. Anniversary on Monday!" — drizzyjdracco

3. 

"The advice I’ve given people is this: if you can go grocery shopping with your person and have the best time ever, you have yourself a keeper. It’s all about making the best of the mundane things, because after years of being together, life becomes predictable. You’ll need to keep the spice going, regardless of what you’re doing. Source: married 15 years." — LemonFizzy0000

4. 

"My grandfather told me 'Never go to bed with dirty dishes in the sink.' What I learned is that he would always help my grandma and that is when they did their most talking." — t480

5. 

"When our kid was about to be born, someone told me to change the first diaper. If you can handle the first one, the others will be easy.' So I did. I didn't know what I was doing, so I asked the nurse at the hospital to teach me, and I changed the first several few diapers while my wife recovered from a difficult labor. The advice was correct, no other diaper was as disgusting as the first one. It got very easy and I never minded doing it, and my wife was really really grateful. And I loved that I could take on some of the parenting chores, since there was so much that she was the only one... equipped to provide." — wordserious

6. 

"Focus on tackling the problem, not each other." — bobbobbobbobbob123

7. 


"Don’t have too high of expectations. My dad told us that, but we found most of our early fights were when one or the other had unspoken expectations of the other or marriage. It is positively life changing to be married, and an amazing experience, but still life goes on."— nopants_ranchdance

8. 

"Marry him for who he is. Not his potential." — There-is-No-beyond

9. 


"My stepmom just passed away, and dad said something that has profoundly changed my attitude: 'The little things that annoyed me are the things I now miss.' So, like, yea for some reason she squeezes a massive glob of toothpaste which mostly falls into the sink basin and she doesn't wash away the toothpaste spit. If/when she's gone, that little constant annoyance that reminds me she's there will be gone too. Don't nag on the little things, rather, embrace them. (still, let her know she has made progress on other things I've pointed out, as I try to adapt to her wishes)." — drewkungfu

10. 

"Say thank you for day to day things, even taking out the trash, sweeping the floor, or folding laundry. Audibly hearing thank you reinforces the feeling of being appreciated." — BVolatte

11. 

"Randomly give your partner a cold beverage on a hot day. It's the little things that show you care." — Purple12Inchruler

12. 


"You don't just marry her, you marry her whole damn family." — crazypersn

13. 

"One of my colonels told me: 'Just buy two damn pizzas, instead of arguing over the toppings.'"— MgoBlue702

14. 

"Be honest. Don't lie to your partner." — Mikeydeeluxe

15. 

"Don’t marry a woman whose dad calls her 'princess,' because she probably believes it. Much to his regret, my brother ignored this advice from our dad." — Toadie9622

16. 

"My fiance always says that 'just because' flowers are the best kind of flowers." — agaribay1010

17. 

"My Gramps who was married for over 50 yrs said: 'tell her you love her every single day.' Kind of obvious, but I definitely took it to heart." — sorellk

18. 

"Love isn’t about having 'nice feelings for each other.' It’s about acting for the betterment of someone else, even if you don’t feel like it. Emotions will change. Your willingness to treat your spouse a certain way doesn’t have to." — sirplaind

19. 


"Bill Maher said "The three most important words in a relationship aren't 'I love you', they're 'let it go.' Oddly, this has proven to be some of the best relationship advice I've ever heard." — KrssCom


This article originally appeared three years ago.

From Your Site Articles
marriage
FamilyModern Families
Pets

Four guys write a letter asking to walk their new neighbor's dog. The dog writes back.

"I am very friendly and full of beans."

black lab, dog walker, dog walker near me, dog walker ap, neighbors, good news, pets, feel good news
Photo credit: Canva, Stevieticks /Instagram

black lab (left. Handwritten letter (right)

If you've lived your whole life with a dog, a home has to feel pretty empty without one. Your heart has to feel like there's something missing as well. When Jack McCrossan, originally from Scotland, moved to Bristol, England with his three friends, they were bummed out to learn that their landlord didn't allow dogs.

So when they saw a beautiful black Sheprador (a German Sheppard Lab mix) in their neighbor's window, they knew that had to become buddies with her. They wrote the dog's owner, Sarah Tolman, a letter asking to arrange a play date with the dog. "If you ever need someone to walk him/her, we will gladly do so," they wrote.

"If you ever get bored (we know you never will, but we can dream), we are more than happy to look after him/her. If you want to come over and bring him/her to brighten our day, you are more than welcome. If you want to walk past our balcony windows so we can see him/her, please do," the letter continued.

"We hope this doesn't come too strong, but our landlord won't allow pets, and we've all grown up with animals. The adult life is a struggle without one," they wrote. "Yours sincerely, The boys from number 23," the letter concluded.

Soon after, the boys in 23 received a response from the dog herself, Stevie Ticks, accepting the offer. However, it may have been written by her human, Sarah Tolman. In the letter, Stevie shares a bit about herself, saying she's two years and four months old, was adopted in Cyprus, and that she's "very friendly and full of beans." (The boys shouldn't worry about a gassy hound, in England, "full of beans" means lively.)

"I love meeting new people and it would be great if we can be friends. I must warn you that the price of my friendship is 5 x ball throws a day and belly scratches whenever I demand them," the letter continued. A few days later, the boys got to meet Stevie.

"Meeting Stevie was great!" McCrossan told Buzzfeed. "She was definitely as energetic as described. We got to take her for a walk and she wouldn't stop running!"

Tolman thought the boys' letter was a fantastic gesture in an era where, quote often, neighbors are strangers. "In a day and age where people don't really know or speak to their neighbors, it was really nice for them to break down that barrier," she said. After the story went viral, she saw it as an opportunity for people to share their love of dogs with the world. "My mother and I are amazed at all the love we've received from around the world these past few days," Tolman wrote as Stevie. "If you have a doggo in your life, share that love with those around you."

A lot has changed since this story first warmed hearts around the globe. The boys have since moved away, but as of September 2024, Stevie is around 8 years old and still living her best life. Recently, she even made it to the doggie wall of fame at her local coffee shop.

In the years since this story first went viral, pet-sharing and neighbor dog borrowing have actually become more common, especially in cities where landlords restrict pets. Several platforms (like BorrowMyDoggy) and community groups now exist to pair dog owners with trusted neighbors who want occasional playtime, walks, or dog-sitting without having to own a pet. It’s a small but growing trend that reflects how deeply animal companionship is needed—even for people who can’t adopt a dog full-time. In many apartment buildings, these kinds of informal arrangements help reduce loneliness, build community, and give non-owners the emotional benefits of living with pets.

Just goes to show the power of a dog's love…even if that dog isn't your own.

This article originally appeared six years ago.

From Your Site Articles
community
PetsJoy
Mental Health

Guy's brutally honest breakup text goes viral and reminds everyone that 'ghosting' isn't cool

This is the ideal example of how to let someone down easy.

breakup, heartbreak, relationships, breakups, texts, ghosting
via Shuttershock

Ghosting just isn't okay.

All too often, people leave a date with no idea how the other person feels about them. And if you're not into the other person, it can be stressful trying to gauge how they feel about the situation and ultimately what you should do moving forward.

Should you go ahead and have another date to see if something blossoms? Will it come across as presumptuous to let them down? If they're not into you either, will they make you feel stupid for laying out the reasons you don't want to go out again? Or is it leading someone on to stay mum about the lack of connection?

couple, date, dating, connection, communication Is the lack of connection mutual?Canva Photos.

While there's no easy way to navigate letting a date down, avoiding these awkward conversations oftentimes results in the awful trend of ghosting, which leaves one person completely in the emotional lurch.

Ghosting may sound harmless at first, but it's actually a harmful (and totally lame) way to treat another person. It's especially gross when you consider that this other person is someone you invested time in and who invested time in you. Even if there was no spark or connection on one end, ghosting is essentially like throwing the other person away and acting like they don't matter. There are many reasons why someone might ghost, but when you poke at them enough, they really don't hold any water. In an article for Psychology Today, Janneke M. Schokkenbroek, Ph.D., gives several reasons for why people ghost. Number one? Convenience.

ghosting, gif, dating, dates, connection, ghosted No, you didn't. Giphy

Sure, it may be "convenient" to walk away from a situation and pretend it no longer exists, but this bit of convenience can be extremely damaging for the person on the receiving end. In fact, a lot of research has come out in the last several years outlining the harmful affects of ghosting on the mental health of both parties. Some psychologists note that ghosting is a symptom of avoidant attachment, and stress that learning attachment theory can keep heartbroken hopefuls who've been ghosted from internalizing their experience. Still, ghosting hurts no matter how you slice it, and it's just not a healthy thing to do to someone.

Unfortunately, ghosting remains extremely common. It's so common that it's rare to see healthy emotional rejection modeled online. But in 2019, Reddit user karmabandido's shared a breakup text he sent to his date that quickly went viral for its honest clarity.

text, honesty, ghosting, dating, relationships A masterclass is classy dating.Via Reddit

This is an ideal example of how to let someone down easy. He was polite, respectful, and transparent about his feelings, wants, and needs. He didn't ghost her—but he also didn't mince words about the lack of connection.

In return, she was able to reveal that she felt the same way and they were able to avoid further awkward interactions without negging or having to resort to ghosting.

dating, dating app, online dating, ghosting, ghosted Woman looking at smartphone.Canva Photos.

Bottom line: ghosting isn't nice and it isn't cool. Instead, be honest, open, and respectful because it treats other people with the dignity they deserve. It may be uncomfortable, but kindly and clearly saying how you feel is the right thing to do, people appreciate it, and it goes a long way.

This article was originally published six years ago. It has been updated.

From Your Site Articles
ghosting
Mental HealthHealth
Women's Health

Forensics student reveals the two types of women predators target based on how they walk

It's chilling that they all have the same "type."

predators, forensics, crime, women, awareness
via Екатерина Шумских/Pexels, Vladimir Konoplev/Pexels and Teona Swift/Pexels

Three women walking down city streets.

A forensics student named Alexandria recently shared vital information on TikTok that all women should know. She detailed the specific signs male predators are looking for when they choose a victim.

Her video is based on a 2013 study entitled “Psychopathy and Victim Selection: The Use of Gait as a Cue to Vulnerability.” For the study, researchers interviewed violent criminals in prison and asked them the type of women they’d be most likely to victimize.

The study found that the criminals all agreed that how the woman walked was a deciding factor.

“What the selected women all had in common was the way that they walked and how they generally held themselves in public,” Alexandria says in the video she later deleted but has been shared broadly across the platform.

@_alf_90_

How to walk for your safety! #women #safety #tips #walking #kidnapping #murder #attacks #fyp

“The selected women all had a similar ‘awkwardness’ to the way that they walked and carried themselves,” she continued. “The first part of the woman had a gait that was a little bit too small for their body, which resulted in smaller steps, slower speed and their arms more typically to their sides, or crossed, as well as their heads being down and not really taking in their general surroundings, which indicated three different things to these potential attackers.”

The woman’s body language signaled to attackers that she was fearful and anxious and because her head was down, she'd be easier to surprise. Alex then described the second type of woman the criminals said they’d target.

“On the other hand, the other part of the women that were selected had a gait that seemed a bit too big for their body and their arms tended to flail to the sides and seemed just overly awkward,” Alexandria continued.

The woman with the bigger gait signaled to potential attackers that she may be clumsy and won’t put up a good fight. “Because their arms were out and flailing to the side, it left the lower body open to, again, come around and grab them,” she said.

women, walking, predators, crime, body language Women walking down a street.Image via Canva Photos.

The video was helpful because Alexandria also discussed the types of women the attackers wouldn’t pursue. Alex says these women “walked with a gait that tended to be more natural to their body.” She adds they moved at the same pace as those in the immediate area, with their shoulders back and chins up and asserting a general sense of confidence.

“Essentially, the women that were not selected gave off an energy that said, ‘Don’t mess with me. I will put up a good fight.’ And that’s why they weren’t selected,” Alex said. “I know that it sounds silly, but something as simple as the way you walk or the way that you carry yourself in public could determine the likelihood that you become a target of a predator.”

According to the Center for Violence Prevention and Self Defense Training, detecting vulnerability is the biggest factor in who predators choose to victimize. Confusion, isolation, appearing insecure, unaware, unassertive, or distracted all play a part in who predators target, but being aware of these factors can increase safety considerably. They also note that access plays a part in being targeted, stating that, "Attackers tend to target people positioned near entrances, exits, or secluded areas where they can quickly grab and escape without arousing suspicion."

woman, crime, predator, safety, awareness Woman aware of her surroundings in a parking garage. Image via Canva Photos.

Alexandria concluded her video by sharing an acronym that can help prevent women from being victimized while in public: STAAR.

S(tride): Walk with a natural stride to your body with steps that are not too far apart or short.

T(all): Stand tall. Keep your shoulders back and your chin up. Assert a natural confidence and dominance to those around you.

A(rms): Swing your arms naturally by your sides, avoiding keeping them too close to your body or flailing out of your natural range of motion.

A(wareness): Stay aware of your surroundings. Take notice if something feels or looks off.

R(elax): Stay cool, calm, and collected and don’t indicate to a potential attacker that you feel or see something is wrong.


This article originally appeared last year. It has been updated.

From Your Site Articles
women's safety
Women's HealthHealth
Joy

Every December, a school in Ireland ditches homework and does 'kindness' assignments instead

Less homework and more kindness all around, please and thank you.

acts of kindness, kindness homework, homework, eliminating homework, teaching kindness, students, school, kids
Photo credit: Canva

Four smiling children sitting together, arms around each other.

Despite controversial-but-compelling evidence that homework takes time away from families with little to no appreciable benefit for students, kids continue to slog through hours of school work outside the time they spend in the classroom. And despite evidence that small acts of kindness can infect a community like a positive virus, far too many kids are on either the giving or receiving end of unkind bullying on a regular basis.

Perhaps that's why an elementary school in Ireland decided to do something radical: ditch all homework for the month of December and assign kids "acts of kindness" instead.

In the weeks leading up to the holidays in 2019, kids at Gaelscoil Mhíchíl Uí Choileáin, Clonakilty were given a kindness task for each weekday. It broke down like this:

Monday- reach out to and communicate with an elderly person

acts of kindness, kindness homework, homework, eliminating homework, teaching kindness, students, school, kids Young girl hugging her smiling grandfather indoors.Photo credit: Canva

Tuesday- make a family member's life easier by taking over a chore or helping out without being asked

acts of kindness, kindness homework, homework, eliminating homework, teaching kindness, students, school, kids Two boys clean a table while a woman watches, with breakfast and juice nearby.Photo credit: Canva

Wednesday- random acts of kindness of any kind

acts of kindness, kindness homework, homework, eliminating homework, teaching kindness, students, school, kids Child cuddling a gray kitten lovingly in their arms.Photo credit: Canva

Thursday - do something kind for your own mental and emotional well-being

acts of kindness, kindness homework, homework, eliminating homework, teaching kindness, students, school, kids Smiling girl in a wheelchair hugging herself, wearing a yellow sweater, pink background.Photo credit: Canva

Students were asked to keep track of their kind deeds in a Kindness Diary. The school also created a Kindness Bucket, where students could write down and deposit positive observations and affirmations to boost the self-esteem of their schoolmates. On Friday mornings, random selections of the notes were read aloud for everyone to hear.

In addition, each class cooperated in a collective act of kindness for the community based on the students' own brainstorming as a team. How lovely.

It's easy to see why so many adults were on board with the idea.

"I LOVE this! Children learn from our example and how we treat them. Kindness is powerful for the giver as well as the receiver! We adults, parents and leaders of our future generation should also be displaying care, kindness and thoughtful acts of kindness as a living example! The world is changed by each doing a small kind act each day!!" one person wrote.

"What a wonderful, thoughtful and just brilliant idea! If this could only go worldwide and be practiced, I would like to believe there would be more tolerance and patience on this ball of gas," added another.

According to a Facebook post from the school, the students have been doing similar programs in December for years. In 2018, the focus was on Gratitude, which resulted in "overwhelming success and positivity."

Vice Principal Íde Ní Mhuirí was quoted in the post:

"We are encouraging our pupils to think of the real spirit of Christmas, the spirit of kindness and giving.
With such an emphasis on the materialistic and commercial aspect of Christmas, we often tend to overlook what it's really all about…. Good will!

Unfortunately not everyone is in a position to be able to enjoy Christmas, some are lonely, some are sad, some might yearn for what they do not have and some might simply not enjoy the festivities. But there is nobody in this world who wouldn't benefit from an act of kindness, and the joy of kindness is that it costs nothing.

What if schools everywhere did things like this, and not just during the holidays? What if we focused just as much on good character and citizenship as we do on test prep? What if each school took it upon itself to say, "Being kind is more important than being smart," not just for a month, but always?

The most pressing issues our world faces are not so much due to a lack of intelligence or knowledge, but rather a lack of shared values that compel us to care about one another. Without a foundation of basic human decency and kindness, knowledge and skill-building will only lead to more problems, while focusing more energy on kindness can only help build a better world for all of us.

As the school noted on Facebook:

In this world, consumed by social media, where our young people are constantly experiencing pressure, there is no better way to show them the way forward in the world than by practicing kindness. We all know that helping others makes us feel good about ourselves…. What's not to love about that?!? That feel good factor we experience form helping others cannot be quantified. Our message to the children is very simple: they can be the reason somebody smiles today and they can definitely help make this world a better place for others and for themselves.

In 2024, the school looked outside of its own community to see where it might help kids elsewhere. The staff asked that, in lieu of buying them Christmas gifts, families donate to the UNICEF Children of Gaza Appeal instead. They were able to raise €7501.00 in donations.

And in 2025, the project is still going strong. The order has switched up a bit (Mondays are for family kindness, Tuesdays are for helping the environment, Wednesdays are for reaching out to the elderly), but the overall spirit is still very much the same as when it started.

What a wonderful way to encourage well-rounded learning in ways that truly make a difference. Less homework and more kindness all around, please and thank you.

This article originally appeared six years ago.

From Your Site Articles
more of this please
JoyCommunity

Florida teacher was fired after giving zeroes to students who didn't turn in their assignments

“I'm so upset because we have a nation of kids that are expecting to get paid and live their life just for showing up and it's not real."

teachers, school, parenting, kids, education,
Diane Tirado/Facebook

Left: Teacher Diane Tirado. Right: The note she left for students after being fired.

If you're of the mind that kids today are being coddled and not properly prepared for the real world, well, you might want to buckle up for this one. The story out of a public school in Florida has parents and teachers alike up in arms.

A Florida teacher was fired for giving her students zeros for missing assignments. Diane Tirado has been a teacher for years. Most recently, she was an eighth-grade history teacher at Westgate K-8 School in Port St. Lucie, Florida. Diane recently gave her students two weeks to complete an Explorer notebook project, but several students simply didn't hand it in. Since there was zero work done, Diane gave them zeros.

She got fired for it.


The elementary school has a rule called the 'no zero policy'

The lowest possible grade that teachers can give students is a 50, even if they don't turn anything in. That means that an extremely poorly completed assignment is worth the same number of points as no assignment at all.

Hardly seems fair, right? Westgate is far from the only school that has such a policy, however.



It's a rule that Diane, unsurprisingly, does not agree with. After she was fired for disobeying, she left her students a charming goodbye message on the whiteboard.

"Bye kids. Mrs. Tirado loves you and wishes you the best in life. I have been fired for refusing to give you a 50 percent for not handing anything in. Love, Mrs. Tirado"

The scale, as outlined by the school, reads as follows:

A = 90 to 100
B = 80 to 89
C = 70-79
D = 60-69
F = 50-59

Diane later shared the story on Facebook, hoping to spread awareness about the school's policy.

“A grade in Mrs. Tirado's class is earned," she said.



“I'm so upset because we have a nation of kids that are expecting to get paid and live their life just for showing up and it's not real."

Diane's post has gone viral, and most commenters agree with her position – it's not fair to hand out grades for work that doesn'texist.

Why do some schools have 'no zero' policies?

No zero policies are common in many schools, and teachers notoriously hate them. But it's at least worth considering why they exist. Some educators say it's because when a student earns a zero, it's very difficult for them ever to recover their grade in that class. In other words, it may be too harsh. Others argue that, if you don't want a zero, don't turn in nothing! Getting an earned zero is a great way to learn to at least try.

"[Zeros] ruin a student’s overall grade in a system that averages scores over time," Tyler Rablin writes for Edutopia. "If I receive a zero on my first assignment in a term, I have to score an 85 on the next 13 assignments just to get back to a B. My failure outweighs my success, and for many students, having to claw their way out of a hole that deep just isn’t worth the effort."

A follow up statement from the school stated: "Ms. Tirado was released from her duties as an instructor because her performance was deemed sub-standard and her interactions with students, staff, and parents lacked professionalism and created a toxic culture on the school’s campus. ... During her brief time of employment at West Gate, the school fielded numerous student and parent complaints as well as concerns from colleagues. Based on new information shared with school administrators, an investigation of possible physical abuse is underway."

"I am not that surprised I got fired because I spoke up and I bucked the system," Tirado told Inside Edition.

- YouTube www.youtube.com

However, school representatives did not deny the existence of the no-zero policy, and Tirado claims the school engaged in a smear campaign after she became a "whistleblower" on their policies. She's currently considering legal action against the district.

Still, the debate over the grading policy rages on.

“The reason I took on this fight was because it was ridiculous. Teaching should not be this hard," Diane said.

This article originally appeared 6 years ago.

From Your Site Articles
Trending Stories