What 8 successful ADHDers want you to know about how they get stuff done.

Whenever I’m working with my family, friends, or colleagues, they always ask me how I’m able to get so much done. My answer: “I have ADHD.” That might sound confusing, but realistically, people with ADHD don’t always have problems with attention — at least, not when we’re working on something that excites us. In fact,…

Whenever I’m working with my family, friends, or colleagues, they always ask me how I’m able to get so much done.

My answer: “I have ADHD.”

That might sound confusing, but realistically, people with ADHD don’t always have problems with attention — at least, not when we’re working on something that excites us. In fact, ADHD often means that we can hyperfocus on awesome things for hours on end, although sometimes that comes at the expense of all the less-thrilling things we’re supposed to be doing. (Why wash the dishes when you can build a rocket ship out of a cardboard box and a disassembled vacuum cleaner?)

Most people with ADHD have to work 10 times harder to achieve seemingly basic organizational and time management skills — skills that other people develop naturally over time. While medication can certainly help, it doesn’t do all the work by itself. As a result, we pay more conscious attention to life hacks, memory tricks, productivity shortcuts and other mental managerial systems … because we have to.


Some say that people with ADHD are much more likely to start their own businesses, perhaps because we’re built to tackle creative and entrepreneurial challenges.

While other people don’t need to learn the same tricks that we do, they can benefit from them. In fact, I’d argue that ADHDers have some of the best advice and practices for getting stuff done — even if we don’t always listen to that advice ourselves.

GIF from “Bruce Almighty.”

Here are 21 productivity tips from people with ADHD that even non-ADHDers can learn from:

1. Habits are things you get for free. So get into ’em.

Even though I’m not a natural creature of habit, I always start my day with meds, then a shower, then pants, then breakfast — otherwise I know that I’m going to forget one of those steps. Habits are essentially self-automation, which means less brainpower spent on the little things.

2. Always have a backup (or two, or three) and know where to find it.

I keep extra cables, chargers, adapters, medicine, and other things in my bag at all times. That way, whether I’m going to the grocery store or on vacation, I don’t have to worry about keeping my phone charged.

3. Reminders and alerts: love them and use them.

I even have a recurring 2 p.m. notification on my phone that says “EAT SOME LUNCH, YOU IDIOT” because, erm, I need the reminder more than I’d like to admit. (Also: IFTTT triggers to automate actions and sync between apps and accounts make life way easier.)

GIF from “Despicable Me 2.”

4. Keep a calendar, and schedule in the time it takes for you to do things.

If it takes you extra time to keep a calendar or get into the headspace for a meeting? Factor that in when you’re planning your day too.

5. Pay attention to the your day’s ups and downs, and use them to your advantage.

Do you get sleepy right after lunch? Then maybe don’t dive into that intense project at 1 p.m. Are you better when you answer emails in the morning and get active tasks done later? Then do that. Figure out what works for you, and follow that schedule.

6. Find your rhythm and stick with it.

Even if you’re not the slow and steady type, a regular pattern of sprint and rest can still help you reach the finish line. “Sometimes I’ll start counting beats in my head to create a rhythm,” says TV writer/director Hadley Klein. “It sounds crazy but for whatever reason, it helps me think through things in a different way.”

GIF via HIKAKIN/YouTube.

7. Make a list. Check it twice. Then make another list. And another.

Graphic novelist Tyler Page says, “I keep one main to-do list on my computer in a Sticky or TextEdit file. Bigger projects get their own lists where they get broken down into smaller and smaller components. The lists also help with prioritizing — something that needs to be done right away goes on the daily to-do list.”

GIF from “Monsters University.”

8. “Prioritize action over accomplishment. Doing the thing.”

This one comes from Patty Carnevale, head of revenue at Man Repeller. Measuring your progress in a tangible way can help you feel even more successful, which will then give you the drive to keep going.

9. Reward yourself for your accomplishments — no matter how small.

If you’re someone who needs frequent feedback to get the necessary dopamine boost, then you can fake it by sticking a carrot in front of yourself to keep you going. Alysa Auriemma, an English instructor, gives an example: “I can read that awesome online fanfic IF I get three papers graded!”

GIF from “Parks and Recreation.”

10. Turn the boring parts into a game.

“I use a fitness watch which monitors how many steps I take in a day and how many flights of stairs I climb. It’s fun to make the numbers go up,” says Nalo Hopkinson, an award-winning author. She also reports her daily word count on Twitter, so that people can cheerlead her along.

11. Don’t dread the boring stuff. Just get it done. It’s faster that way.

Focus on the satisfaction that you’re going to feel once you’ve finished the task, instead of on the time it’ll take to get it done — which, let’s be honest, is probably less time than you think. (Of course, even though I know this works for me, it’s still easier said than done.)

12. The more you let things pile up, the easier it gets to ignore them.

Find a way to keep it fresh. I’m a compulsive inbox zeroer because the longer that little red notification bubble sits there on my phone, the more inclined I am to ignore it. So I mark all my emails as “read,” then use an IFTTT trigger to remind me later of things that actually require a follow-up or my attention.

GIF from “Community.”

13. If things slip your mind, visual cues can help.

You know that mantra, “Out of sight, out of mind?” For people with ADHD, that’s pretty literal — to a fault. So it helps to stick things right in our own faces so that we can’t miss them. “When I was in college, I taped a postcard to my apartment door with the times I needed to leave by to make it to morning classes on time,” says Rebecca Eisenberg, Upworthy’s senior editor.

14. Work with your brain, not against it.

Do you tend to lose your keys in the bathroom? Then make a new home for them in the bathroom, where you’re already inclined to leave them. That way, they’re always there. Don’t fight your instincts. Use their momentum to your advantage. And on that note…

15. Embrace your idiosyncrasies and find a way to make them work for you.

Everyone’s brain is different. A lot of ADHDers need to figure out on our own what works for us, rather than having someone tell us what’s the “right” way to do things. For example: If someone else leaves me a list of instructions or things to do that’s organized by their mind, it only makes me frustrated and confused. I have to create my own to-do lists in my own way — even if it does take more time.

GIF from “Adventure Time.”

16. Take a break. Move around. Do a little dance.

Movement helps your brain work better. As tempting as it is to put the emphasis on measurable actions, it’s just as important to not do things and give yourself a chance to breathe. Sometimes a little distance can give you a lot of new perspective.

I use a portable adjustable standing desk and a pair of bluetooth headphones so that I can basically dance in place and write at the same time. My wife thinks I’m weird, but it works.

17. Know when to call it a day.

It’s important to accept when you’ve reached the point of diminishing returns. Don’t be afraid to give your brain a rest, and come back to it fresh the next day. This’ll save you time in the long run too — because the more you power through your exhaustion, the longer it’ll take to recover.

18. Identity your flaws and strengths, and communicate them to others.

“My colleagues know that in exchange for tolerating all the things I do that make me less reliable, they get a guy who can think outside the box, that can create on the fly, that can wear many hats at once,” says Upworthy’s fearless editor-at-large, Adam Mordecai.

“They also know that if they want something from me, I’m far likelier to get it done if they ping me immediately on chat rather than on email. Let your peeps know how to get the most out of you.”

19. Keep your eye on the prize, but forgive yourself — and others.

Everyone’s fighting their own uphill battles, and you’re not going to get anything done if you’re too busy beating yourself up. (You’re not going to help anyone else be more productive if you externalize it and pick on them either.)

GIF from the SAG Awards.

20. Set your goals, but stay flexible.

Maybe you didn’t get as much done today as you had hoped, but that’s OK. Regroup, come up with a new strategy, and try to figure out what went wrong so you can do it better next time. Which brings me to the last, and perhaps most important, lesson:

21. “Try again. Fail again. Fail better.”

This is actually a quote from Samuel Beckett, but it also makes for an excellent productivity mantra. The bad parts and failures are inevitable, and you’ll never overcome them all. But that’s OK. Accept it, learn from it, and keep going anyway.

But you do have a brain. So use it. GIF from “The Wizard of Oz.”

ADHDers understand one thing better than most people: Success is not a stationary target.

There’s no “one weird trick” that will actually bring you any closer to success.

Instead, the best we can hope for is to embrace ourselves for all our strengths and weaknesses, and keep finding things to work toward. Perhaps that’s a new business endeavor, 15 simultaneous hobbies, or simply remembering to put your underwear on before your pants.

If that last part is a measurable indication, then for me, today was an extraordinary success.

  • Dad is praised for his patient explanation of their mom’s period to his two young sons
    Photo credit: TikTok/@payalforstyle [with permission]Dad talks to his two sons about periods.
    ,

    Dad is praised for his patient explanation of their mom’s period to his two young sons

    “There’s one week a month when Mom wakes up and her body is telling her, ‘This is painful.'”

    Period education can be an awkward topic for parents to tackle, but not for Payal Desai’s husband, Hiren.

    The mom of two boys caught a sweet conversation between Hiren and their sons about menstruation as they brushed their teeth together. His understanding tone and explanation of what women experience during their periods is being celebrated by fellow moms and viewers.

    “My husband reminding our boys that there is no shame (only empathy) in periods,” she captioned the video.

    Dad explains periods to sons

    In the video, Hiren is chatting with his two sons as he begins to explain what periods are like for women.

    “I cut my finger yesterday and I needed a Band-Aid. Imagine what…Mom can’t put a Band-Aid on her vagina,” he says.

    One of the boys asks, “Isn’t that why there’s pads?”

    Hiren responds, “The pads absorb the blood, but it doesn’t make the pain go away. I’m sorry, but my little cut is not like what happens to Mom. So that’s why we have more sympathy and empathy for Mom. Like, be nice to her.”

    He then explains more about what is going on in a woman’s body during her period.

    “Mom’s hormones are impacted from her period, then the pain in the body…all kinds of things. It’s not just, ‘Oh no, some blood came out’,” he adds.

    Finally, Hiren tells the boys that it’s important to understand periods because one day they may have a partner who goes through menstruation, and that they need to be empathetic.

    “You’re gonna have a partner, and if it’s a woman, you’re gonna have to deal with that. Or you’re gonna have friends that are girls, and they’re gonna go through this,” he says. “Or classmates or teammates or partners. There’s one week a month when Mom wakes up and her body is telling her, ‘This is painful.’”

    Payal shares her thoughts

    In an interview with Upworthy, Payal explained why the talk Hiren had with their boys is important.

    “I’d want folks to know that in our home we aim to raise our boys with respect for themselves and deep empathy for others,” she says. “I wasn’t surprised to overhear my husband having this talk with them, which is part of ongoing conversations on how we can all show up for each other in times of need.”

    She also explained that she hopes it will help encourage other boy dads and moms to talk with their sons about periods.

    “On the topic of periods and menstruation, I think parents raising boys have a unique opportunity to help lift stigma that lead to misogyny and intolerance. We can raise boys to be a safe and understanding spaces for the women in their lives by being transparent—it’s biology after all!”

    Viewers respond

    Many viewers shared their support for Hiren’s chat with their sons, and shared their thoughts in the comments:

    “That man was MEANT to be a father, especially to young men! 🥰😭.”

    “This is the greenest flag of green flags that has ever flagged. You and those boys are very lucky.”

    “Imagine…. if ALL boys were parented this way. Just imagine …….”

    “THE INCLUSIVITY IN HIS LANGUAGE ♥️♥️♥️♥️”

    “This is what secure masculinity looks like.”

    “Now we all know why you married this man. No mansplaining just an actual conversation with his son. Your son’s are going to be able to feel comfortable and confident going to him for any advice without being made to feel ashamed. We need the Green flag guy.”

  • New study finds that ‘good enough’ parenting seems to be making a comeback and why that’s absolutely okay
    Photo credit: CanvaAn exhausted mother holds her baby.

    Since the beginning of time, it’s probably safe to say that many parents are simply exhausted as they navigate child-rearing. It’s a delicate dance between being a helicopter parent and being checked out. And for some, that anxiety and restlessness can linger for a good portion of their child’s life. A parenting concept from well over half a century ago might be changing that once more.

    British pediatrician and psychoanalyst D.W. Winnicott coined the phrase “good enough” parenting when he hypothesized that it was perhaps okay for parents to let their children, within healthy boundaries, learn important lessons on their own. The gist is that instead of attempting to oversee every single portion of a child’s life, a parent can step back and show up in ways that will ultimately guide them to a (hopefully) better outcome.

    Kids learn from our mistakes

    Dr. Ramani Durvasula (who simply goes by Dr. Ramani online) describes the notion succinctly in an interview clip with MedCircle. Here, she explains how vital it is for children to learn certain life lessons on their own. “We only need to be good enough. If we get it right every time… our kids learn from our mistakes. Every so often it takes us too long to soothe them. That’s when they learn to soothe themselves. We need to do ‘just enough’ mistakes so that they learn to do things by themselves.”

    In a 2016 piece for Psychology Today, author Marilyn Wedge, P.h.D. explains the idea evolves after infancy. “In discussing the mother (or other caretaker’s) adaptation to the needs of the baby, Winnicott thought that the ‘good enough mother’ starts out with an almost complete adaptation to her baby’s needs. She is entirely devoted to the baby and quickly sees to his every need. She sacrifices her own sleep and her own needs to fulfill the needs of her infant.”

    Not perfect but ‘good enough’

    She notes that this can change as the baby gets older. “As time goes by, however, the mother allows the infant to experience small amounts of frustration. She is empathetic and caring but does not immediately rush to the baby’s every cry. Of course, at first the time limit to this frustration must be very short. She may allow the baby to cry for a few minutes before her nighttime feeding, but only for a few minutes. She is not “perfect,” but she is “good enough” in that the child only feels a slight amount of frustration.”

    @herdotie

    The “good enough parent” 👏⁠ ⁠ Seán Moncrieff joins his daughter Keelin as the first guest on Mother season 3.⁠ ⁠ @kee_mon and her father discuss why letting go of parenting expectations can be one the hardest challenges faced by parents.⁠ ⁠ Other themes explored include generational differences in parenting, the epiphany of first-time parental love, his role as a father in her life, and much more.⁠ ⁠ This is one episode you won’t want to miss! Tune in wherever you get your podcasts 🎧️⁠ ⁠ #keelinmoncrieff #seanmoncrieff #parenting #mother

    ♬ original sound – Herdotie – Herdotie

    Attunement

    Fiona Yassin, family psychotherapist and founder and clinical director of The Wave Clinic, shared her view of the idea of attunement with Upworthy:

    “For parents, it can be helpful to step away from the idea of getting parenting ‘right’ or ‘wrong.’ In mental health, we often talk about ‘good enough’ parenting, which has attunement at its core. This means being present for our children, noticing their needs, and responding in a way that helps them feel seen and supported. Children don’t need flawless caregivers, but they do need caregivers who’re reliably responsive.”

    She adds how important it is that parents give themselves some grace. “It’s impossible to attune 100% of the time, but as parents we want to be looking to attune to our child’s needs for a good chunk of time. It’s also really important for parents to understand that small ruptures, missed cues, or moments of misattunement are not failures; they’re part of being human. What matters for parents here is how we repair from those moments and model to a child that relationships can stretch and recover.”

    Avoid passing down anxiety

    Alli Spotts-DeLazzer (LMFT, LPCC, CEDS-C) was excited to speak to Upworthy about the concept. “So happy ‘good enough parenting’ is in the spotlight here! I’ve been preaching this ‘good enough’ concept and the mutual growth that can come from it for years now—as a marriage and family therapist and lead author of My Child Has an Eating Disorder.

    In trying to do things perfectly, parents may unintentionally pass down more anxiety and lack of self-trust than they realize. The growth is in the ruptures, the repairs, and the role modeling of the messiness of life and how it gets handled—sometimes beautifully and other times in ways that feel poor. In a world where perfection narratives and images are pushed daily on social media, it takes courage to sit in the mess and make it meaningful. If you want to support resilience in kids, this seems like an empowering direction for parenting to move toward. Even more important, it can reduce polarization and allow more room for nuance, humanity, and growth.”

  • Millennial parents are pleading with Boomer grandparents to stop giving excessive gifts to grandkids
    Photo credit: Image via Canva/PeopleImagesBoomer grandparents are excessively gifting their grandkids, and Millennial parents have had enough.
    ,

    Millennial parents are pleading with Boomer grandparents to stop giving excessive gifts to grandkids

    “I struggle to keep on top of tidying as it is, and this is a massive added challenge.”

    Millennial parents and Boomer grandparents don’t always see eye to eye on parenting and grandparenting. Now, Millennial parents are uniting on a nightmare Boomer grandparenting trend that sees them “excessively gifting” their grandkids with tons of both new and old *unwanted* stuff during visits.

    Ohio mom Rose Grady (@nps.in.a.pod) shared her “Boomer grandparent” experience in a funny and relatable video. “Just a millennial mom watching her boomer parents bring three full loads of ‘treasures’ into her home,” she wrote in the overlay.

    One mom’s viral video hit a nerve

    Grady can be seen looking out the window of her home at her Boomer mom and dad carrying bags and boxes up her driveway after several visits. The distressed and contemplative look on Grady’s face is speaking to plenty of Millennial moms.

    @nps.in.a.pod

    Today’s “treasure” highlight was the mobile that hung in my nursery… #boomerparents #boomers #boomersbelike #millennialsoftiktok #millenialmom #motherdaughter

    ♬ Bad Reputation – Joan Jett

    Grady captioned the video, “Today’s ‘treasure’ highlight was the mobile that hung in my nursery…”

    The humorous video resonated with fellow Millennial parents. “Straight to the trash when they leave,” one viewer commented. Another added, “I always say ‘if you don’t want it in yours, we don’t want it in ours’ .”

    Even more Millennial parents have shared and discussed their situations with Boomer grandparents buying their kids too much stuff on Reddit. “Both my mother and my MIL love buying and sending toys, books, clothes, etc. I don’t want to be ungrateful but we just don’t need it and don’t have the space. I have brought this up politely in ‘we are all out of drawers for that’ but it hasn’t slowed things down,” one explained. “I think part of the issue is that the grandparents live in different cities and vacation a lot. They don’t get to see our daughter much so they buy stuff instead.”

    Another Millennial parent shared, “While the intention is very kind behind these, all the grandparents are very aware that we do not need, nor wish to receive these gifts in such an excessive volume – as it creates a daily struggle to store and accommodate in our home. I struggle to keep on top of tidying as it is, and this is a massive added challenge.”

    How to talk to Boomer grandparents about gifts

    millennial parents, millennial parent, millennial mom, kids room, organize
    Millennial mom struggles to organize her son’s room. Photo credit: Canva/fotostorm

    So, why are Boomer grandparents excessively gifting? “Boomer grandparents may be the first grandparent generation to have accumulated the substantial discretionary funds that enables them to spend money on their grandchildren,” Sari Goodman, a Certified Parent Educator and founder of Parental Edge, tells Upworthy. “These grandparents probably grew up with grandparents who didn’t have that kind of money and so they may be excited to give their grandchildren the things they didn’t get.”

    Goodman suggests that Millennial parents first discuss with them the “why” behind the gifting. “What comes before setting a boundary to limit over-the-top gift-giving is delving into the reasons grandparents are buying so much,” she explains. “Coming from a place of compassion and understanding makes it possible to come up with mutually beneficial solutions.”

    Other ways grandparents can stay connected

    She recommends that Millennial parents sit down with their Boomer parents to learn more. “Did they grow up without many toys and clothes and are fulfilling a dream? Ask them about the values they learned as children (hard work, perseverance, the power of delayed gratification) and how they can pass on these lessons to the grandchildren,” she suggests.

    She adds that another reason may be that Boomer grandparents live far away and want their grandchildren to feel a connection with them. “Set up a regular FaceTime or Zoom meeting. Rehearse with the kids so they have something to say and suggest a topic for the grandparents,” says Goodman. “Or send snail mail. Kids love getting mail. The grandparents can send postcards from where they live and explain some of the special sites.”

    boomer grandparents, boomer grandparenting, video chat, video call, grandkids
    Boomer grandparents have a video call with grandkids. Photo credit: Canva/Tima Miroshnichenko

    Finally, Goodman adds that for some grandparents, this may be the only way they know how to show their love. Millennial parents could ask if they would be open to other ideas. “Parents can set up an activity for grandparents and kids to do when they come over: a jigsaw puzzle, art activity, board game, magic tricks,” she says. “Arrange for the grandchildren to teach the grandparents something their phones can do or introduce them to an app they might like.”

    This article originally appeared one year ago. It has been updated.

  • Woman goes to great lengths to adopt baby from husband’s ex-wife to save him from foster care
    Christie Werts and her son, Levi

    Christie and Wesley Werts have taken the idea of a blended family to the next level. When the couple fell in love and married, they brought together her children, Megan and Vance, and his children, Austin and Dakota.

    The Ohio family became five children strong after officially adopting Levi in January 2023, when he was nearly 2 years old. Levi is the son of Wesley’s ex-wife, who passed away four days after the child was born. The ex-wife had the boy prematurely, at 33 weeks, and died soon after from drug addiction and complications of COVID-19.

    When Levi was born, he was a ward of the state with no first name or birth certificate.

    “When I heard about Levi, without hesitation, I said we should take him,” Christie said, according to The Daily Mail, and her reason went far beyond the fact that the child was the half-brother to two of her recently adopted children. “I myself was a foster kid and, although for the most part, I had a great experience, I did not want him going to foster care,” Christie said.

    She’d been dreaming of him before he arrived

    Before the family knew of Levi’s birth, Christie had a recurring dream about a blue-eyed, blonde-haired boy.

    “Before Levi, we had wanted to try to have a child of our own,” she told Newsweek. “I’m in my forties, so we knew that we would probably need fertility treatment, so I thought let’s just think about it and what will be will be.”

    @cjthemom5

    Replying to @Journey♥️ Yes, they will always know of her and ill be there for every emotion good or bad. But im also mom, ive been to every game, every doctors appt, sat with them if they needed an ear loved unconditional . I am mom also. #adoption #srorytime #siblings #foryou #loveislove

    ♬ Paper Birds (3 min) – Jordan Halpern Schwartz

    The problem was that Levi was in Texas, so the family sold their house and moved to the Lone Star State to go through the arduous adoption process. The situation was further complicated because Levi’s biological father had parental rights even though he had substance abuse problems. The family couldn’t move out of Texas until his rights were legally terminated.

    But after a 16-month process, in January 2023, Levi became a legal family member. Christie understands that adopting her husband’s ex-wife’s baby may seem unusual to some people. “It’s a lot to process for a lot of people, but honestly, it seems a lot crazier than it was. At the time, it just made sense,” she said.

    She had doubts, but love won anyway

    @cjthemom5

    Our adoption is official !!! after 17 months!!! #adoption #son #loveyou #ourstory#foryou #fyp

    ♬ original sound – Jenna

    Even though Christie knew in her heart that she must adopt Levi, she wasn’t without reservations. “’If I said I did not [have concerns beforehand], that would not be honest,” she told The Daily Mail. “This was different. I was going to walk into a child I never met and was worried the circumstances would hinder this instant love. But […] he stole my heart. I also felt this intense need to protect him.”

    These days, Levi fits right in with the family, and the rest of the kids are happy to be back to living an everyday life without any caseworkers or inspections.

    “He’s great, he is the king of the house! We are all very close. He won’t understand the journey right now, but someday, I will let him know we fought for him!” Christie said.

    Christie has continued to share her family’s journey on TikTok and has since published a book called Life’s Sad Story, God’s Love Story: Transforming a Child’s Adversity into a Tale of Love about her experiences as a foster child and Levi’s adoption story.

    This article originally appeared five years ago. It has been updated.

  • This mom’s controversial parenting take that her kids don’t have to ‘share’ has the Internet divided
    Photo credit: Lottie Weaver/@lottie..weaverMom of three Lottie Weaver explains why she doesn't make her kids share.

    Teaching kids to share is often part of Parenting 101. According to the Cleveland Clinic, educating kids about sharing in early childhood helps them build empathy, fosters social skills, and helps teach them emotional regulation.

    While “sharing is caring,” mom of three daughters Lottie Weaver says she’s teaching her kids that they don’t *always* have to share with others.

    Weaver explained her controversial take and more behind her ‘why.’ “I said it and I’ll say it again, I don’t make my kids share!” she captioned the video.

    @lottie..weaver

    I said it and I’ll say it again, I don’t make my kids share! #momlife #girlmom #momof3 #momsoftiktok #parenting

    ♬ original sound – ✨Lottie✨

    Why her kids don’t have to share

    Weaver starts by stating that her kids “don’t have to share their toys or their snacks or literally any of their things with your kids.”

    She goes on to explain, “If we are out and about at the park or some communal play place, if my kids have a scooter or toy or bubbles, they’re not sharing with your kids. They don’t have to. I will never ever make my kids share their stuff that they brought with another child.”

    The mom of three daughters then offers three reasons for her thinking:

    “Number one: you should’ve brought your own sh*t. Number two: that’s their toy. They don’t have to share with you. Number three: you don’t have to do something just because somebody asks,” she says.

    She elaborates more on her third reason.

    “I think especially for women, that is really important to learn. For girls growing up, just because someone says, ‘Hey can I have this’ or ‘Hey can I do this’…you don’t have to say yes. They should’ve brought their own toys,” she adds.

    @lottie..weaver

    I think you can be a mother and friend at the same time! #momsoftiktok #girlmom #momof3 #momsover30 #momlife

    ♬ original sound – random_stuff

    When to share, and when not to share

    However, Weaver notes that she does not discourage sharing.

    She says, “Now, if my kids want to share, yeah share! But as soon as they’re like, ‘Hey, they’re not giving my stuff back. I’m done sharing’, that’s when my *ss is going over there saying, ‘Cough it up [with a gesturing motion]. Cough it up. Your mommy should have brought you your own toys. We don’t have to share, okay?”

    And Weaver also adds that the venue for sharing also matters.

    “Now if you come to my house for a playdate, that’s very different, right? Because we are welcoming them into our space,” she says. “But if we are out and about, and we don’t know each other very well—even if we do know each other very well, and my kid doesn’t want to share her doll with your kid, she doesn’t have to.”

    @lottie..weaver

    Sometimes they just need a break! The mental health days are the perfect compromise! #momof3 #momsoftiktok #momsover30 #girlmom #daughter

    ♬ Carefree Days – Peaceful Reveries

    Viewers respond with mixed feelings

    Weaver’s video struck a chord with viewers. Some were supportive, while others took issue:

    “I’m so sad as a teacher this is literally the foundation of learning. Made me unfollow 🫠.”

    “Oof🥴 I tell my kids don’t bring toys if you’re not willing to share it.”

    “I disagree. My kiddo will definitely be sharing. ESPECIALLY if another kiddo doesn’t have a toy.”

    “The real flex is raising a child who is friendly, empathetic and WANTS to share.”

    “What an odd thing to say out loud and be proud of. My kids will always be expected to share. Some kids aren’t fortunate enough to have the nice extra things, and I want my kids to be remembered as the sweet ones who were KIND to others.”

    “She’s right tho and yall mad 😭😭😭.”

    “I 100% agree. I teach my kids to share, but that they don’t HAVE to share JUST because someone asks for it.”

    “Adults don’t have to share so why do kids? But … sharing is caring. And it’s always a nice thing to do.”

    “I’m a nanny and I 1,000% agree with you Lottie! We’ve gotten to the point where ppl expect the can just use your stuff at the park. It’s not your toy, they’re allowed to play with their own toy that they brought.”

    “You guys are missing the point. She isn’t saying she’s teaching them to not share… she’s saying she’s teaching them they don’t have to if THEY DONT WANT TO.”

  • ‘It’s not Little Sun’: Mom can’t believe she’s having trouble pronouncing her newborn’s name
    Justus Stroup is starting to realize her baby's name isn't that common.

    One of the many surprises that come with parenthood is how the world reacts to your child’s name. It’s less of a surprise if your child has a common name like John, Mohammed, or Lisa. But if you give your child a non-traditional name that’s gender-neutral, you’re going to throw a lot of folks off guard, and mispronunciations are going to be an issue.

    This exact situation happened with TikTok user Justus Stroup, who went viral in 2024 after having her second child, but there’s a twist: she isn’t quite sure how to pronounce her child’s name either. “I may have named my daughter a name I can’t even pronounce,” Stroup opens the video. “Now, I think I can pronounce it, but I’ve told a couple of people her name, and there are two people who thought I said the same exact thing. So, I don’t know that I know how to [pronounce] her name correctly.”

    A viral baby name debate no one saw coming

    Stroup’s daughter is named Sutton, and the big problem is how people around her pronounce the Ts. Stroup tends to gloss over the Ts, so it sounds like Suh-en. However, some people go hard on the Ts and call her “Sut-ton.”

    “I’m not gonna enunciate the ‘Ts’ like that. It drives me absolutely nuts,” she noted in her TikTok video. “I told a friend her name one time, and she goes, ‘Oh, that’s cute.’ And then she repeated the name back to me and I was like, ‘No, that is not what I said.’”

    Stroup also had a problem with her son Greyson’s speech therapist, who thought the baby’s name was Sun and that there weren’t any Ts in the name at all. “My speech therapist, when I corrected her and spelled it out, she goes, ‘You know, living out in California, I have friends who named their kids River and Ocean, so I didn’t think it was that far off.’”

    Where the name actually came from

    Stroup told People that she got the name from a TV show called “The Lying Game,” which she used to watch in high school. “Truthfully, this was never a name on my list before finding out I was pregnant with a girl, but after finding out the gender, it was a name I mentioned and my husband fell in love with,” says Stroup. “I still love the name. I honestly thought I was picking a strong yet still unique name. I still find it to be a pretty name, and I love that it is gender neutral as those are the type of names I love for girls.”

    The mother could choose the name because her husband named their son Greyson.

    The commenters thought Stroup should tell people it’s Sutton, pronounced like a button. “I hear it correctly! Sutton like Button. I would pronounce it like you, too!” Amanda wrote.

    “My daughter’s name is Sutton. I say it the same way as you. When people struggle with her name, I say it’s Button but with a S. That normally immediately gets them to pronounce it correctly,” Megan added.

    After the video went viral, Stroup heard from people named Hunter and Peyton, who are dealing with a similar situation. “I’ve also noticed the two most common names who run into the same issue are Hunter (people pronouncing it as Hunner or HUNT-ER) and Payton (pronounced Pey-Ton or Pey-tin, most prefer it as Pey-tin),” she told Upworthy.

    “Another person commented saying her name is Susan and people always think it is Season or Steven,” Stroup told Upworthy. After having her second child, she learned that people mix up even the simplest names. “No name is safe at this point,” she joked.

    Now she needs help finding a nickname

    Three months later, Stroup posted a video asking her TikTok followers for help giving Sutton a nickname. She said it was easy with her son, Greyson, because they can just call him Grey. But Sutton is a little more difficult. Her father calls her “Tonton,” which drives Stroup up the wall. “You cannot be calling a girl Tonton,” she exclaimed. Stroup’s followers suggested they call her “Sutty,” but the name she really liked was “Sunny.”

    The whole situation has Stroup rethinking how she pronounces her daughter’s name. Hopefully, she got some advice on how to tell people how to pronounce it, or else she’ll have years of correcting people in front of her. “Good lord, I did not think this was going to be my issue with this name,” she said.

    This article originally appeared four years ago. It has been updated.

  • Seth Rogen was asked if having kids would make him ‘happier.’ He answered honestly.
    Photo credit: WikicommonsSeth Rogan and Laura Miller.

    Breaking news: There’s a big double standard in Hollywood. Childless women in the public eye are often plagued by the question: “So, why don’t you have any children?” It’s a deeply personal question that cuts right to the bone, and there can be many answers. But, if the woman doesn’t want children and says so publicly, she is bound to face some judgment.

    “[I don’t] like [the pressure] that people put on me, on women, that you’ve failed yourself as a female because you haven’t procreated. I don’t think it’s fair,” Jennifer Anistontold Allure. “You may not have a child come out of your vagina, but that doesn’t mean you aren’t mothering—dogs, friends, friends’ children.”

    Seth Rogen got the question women always get

    On the Monday, March 6 episode of “The Diary Of A CEO.”podcast, host Steven Bartlett asked actor Seth Rogen why he’s childless, and it was a rare moment where a man in the public eye was challenged on the topic. Rogen gave a thoughtful explanation for his and Lauren Miller’s decision to be child-free.

    “There’s a whole huge thing I’m not doing, which is raising children,” Rogen told Bartlett.The host attempted to play devil’s advocate and asked Rogen if he considered whether having children might have made him and his wife “happier.”

    “I don’t think it would,” Rogen responded.

    Then, as if anticipating the question, the “Pineapple Express” star upended one of the arguments that people who have children often make: that people who don’t have children have no idea what it’s like.

    “I’ve been around obviously a lot of children; I’m not ignorant to what it’s like…Everyone I know has kids. I’m 40, you know? I know,” Rogen said at the time. “Some of my friends have had kids for decades. Some people want kids, some people don’t want kids.” He added that many people seem to have kids without considering the issue.

    “I mean, a lot of people have kids before they even think about it, from what I’ve seen, honestly,” he said. “You just are told, you go through life, you get married, you have kids—it’s what happens.” Rogen and his wife have only grown stronger in their decision and they believe that it has helped their relationship.

    “Now, more than anything, the conversation is like, ‘Honestly, thank God we don’t have children,’” he continued. “We get to do whatever we want. We are in the prime of our lives. We are smarter than we’ve ever been, we understand ourselves more than we ever have, we have the capacity to achieve a level of work and a level of communication and care for one another, and a lifestyle we can live with one another that we’ve never been able to live before. And we can just do that, and we don’t have to raise a child, which the world does not need right now,” Rogen concluded.

    Then came the backlash, and his response

    Rogen received a lot of pushback for his comments, and in a 2025 interview with Esquire, he addressed the criticism and doubled down on his decision. “People really had strong takes on it, being like, ‘F**k this f**king guy,’” he said. “Well, if you hate me that much, why do you want more of me?” He also addressed those who asked, “Who’s going to care for you when you get older?”

    “Is that why you’re having kids? Because I have two things to say: One, that’s very selfish to create a human so someone can take care of you. And two, just because you have a kid, I hate to break it to you, that doesn’t mean they’re going to do that,” he said.

    His answer was more thoughtful than expected

    Everyone has the right to choose whether or not to have children, and no one has the right to judge them. Rogen and Miller have thought their decision through and should be applauded for living how they see fit. It’s cool to see Rogen with such a thoughtful opinion on the matter. It’d be even cooler if celebrities never had to discuss the topic in the first place.

    This article originally appeared three years ago. It has been updated.

  • Man seeking divorce changes mind after losing high-paying job. Wife has a perfect response.
    A very angry woman.

    A husband filed for divorce from his wife and burned bridges in the process by making incredibly disrespectful remarks to her. This came 10 months after she had their second child (the couple has six, in total). After losing his high-paying job, he turned course and asked her to take him back again. Should she take him back, given his lot in life, or hold firm and say good riddance to bad rubbish?

    How it all fell apart

    The situation came to a head when the husband demanded that his wife, who had a 10-month-old baby, stay in the house, instead of taking her child to a dentist appointment. She went anyway, and then the man slept in his game room for two months. He told everyone that he was divorcing his wife and went so far as to contact an attorney.

    “He told me I was not the prize. I’m almost 40 and have four kids, three of whom are minors. He said he’s the prize, he’s in his prime, and makes good money, and any woman would love to be in my shoes and take care of his kids. He even went as far as inviting his baby mother into the house to visit while I was out,” the woman wrote on Reddit.

    The situation changed, and so did his tune

    “Fast forward, he loses his job and telling me to wait to move. He then starts talking nicer to me and acting differently than before,” she wrote. So what was the wife to do, take back the man who said that she was “not the prize” and that he was desirable because he had a high-paying job? Nope. She stood her ground and said he needed to leave. “I told him I was still moving out and going forward with separating because his actions did not align with someone who wanted to be with me,” she wrote.

    The woman then asked the commenters if she was right to follow through with what her husband started. The commenters were overwhelmingly on her side. “He said he was done, so let’s be done, even if now it’s an inconvenience for him,” one of the top commenters wrote. “Sounds like YOU are the prize after all, because he’s an unemployed AH who’s soon to be unable to rent an apartment because he doesn’t have a job. Hope his parents live close by and can take him in.”

    The therapists weigh in

    Upworthy spoke with Paige Harley, MA, a cPaige Harley, MA, a conflict expert and mediator specializing in high-conflict divorce and custody issues. She says the woman shouldn’t feel any guilt for her actions. “Absolutely never a reason to feel guilty about setting boundaries. However, make sure you are clear about what a boundary is and specifically what yours are,” Harley told Upworthy. “It’s hard and you will need to be the ‘bigger person’ but your future self will thank you—as you are setting the tone for what comes next.”

    Dr. Nari Jeter, a licensed marriage and family therapist and associate teaching professor at Florida State University, and co-host of The Coupled Podcast, says there’s nothing wrong with separating, but that’s just the first step. “I would say that this woman is not in the wrong for sticking to the boundary of separation. It clearly reinforces to him that he cannot threaten the safety and stability of the relationship without a consequence,” Dr. Jeter told Upworthy. “The deeper issue is, can she separate herself from his view of reality and their marriage? Just because he says these things to her, it doesn’t make them true. She may need to accept that he says these things to himself and others about her, but they aren’t true–and that defending herself to him will likely get her nowhere.”

    She stayed true to herself and stood her ground

    Unfortunately, the woman had to deal with a verbally abusive man who isn’t supportive of her or their combined six children. But what’s great to see is that after her husband tried to knock her down a peg and then leave her, she stood her ground and would not take him back. There’s no doubt that she also felt great support from the 1,300 people who commented on the page, with nearly all of them supporting her decision.

    This article originally appeared one year ago. It has been updated.

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