upworthy

Erik Barnes

Fatherhood

Dad follows his daughter during her 5 a.m. jog for the sweetest reasons

“I have whatever the opposite of daddy issues are.”

Photo credit: Canva

Running in the dark raises safety concerns.

A woman going out on an early morning run is showing everyone what being a good father looks like. Social media fitness influencer Orey shared a TikTok praising her father’s protection and motivation to achieve her goals.

“I have whatever the opposite of daddy issues are because my dad drives behind me during my 5 A.M. runs to make sure that I’m safe,” said Orey in the video’s caption. In the video, Orey gives her dad a fist bump through the open driver’s seat window before running off into the dark streets as her dad monitors her from his car.

@oreyfit

he’s a GOOD man savannah !!!! #run #runningmotivation #running #fyp #runningcommunity #runninginspiration #runhappy #runnergirl

Most outdoor joggers prefer to get their run in early in the morning to avoid traffic and pedestrians that would clog up city streets. It’s also a more comfortable time to run for people who live in warmer climates that get significantly hotter during the day, such as in Los Angeles where Orey resides. Unfortunately, though, such runs aren’t always safe.

Running outdoors when it’s dark can be risky, especially for women. There have been several news stories over the years about primarily female runners being harassed or assaulted while alone on the streets or in a park. While there should be a conversation on how to permanently ensure the safety of the public while they exercise, it’s currently necessary to actively find ways to protect yourself. Or, in Orey’s case, reflect upon how special it is that someone steps up for you.

The commenters on Orey’s TikTok shared similar stories from their parents:

“My dad finds parking in the Bronx for me and moves his car when I come home. 🥺”

“I didn't have my dad, but my mom would follow me to work when I would have to be there at 5 A.M. to open and stay until another employee showed up.”

“My dad would walk to the beach a block from our house at 2 A.M. after his night shift to check on me on my night 'walk' and walk me home…I was in my 30s. 🥰🥰🥰🥰”

Orey has gained a major following on TikTok with more than 450,000 followers by sharing relatable and accessible videos of her fitness journey, especially with running:

@oreyfit

Replying to @Monique Miller some running tips 🩷 #fyp #run #running #runningmotivation #runningtips


Parents often protect their children through limitations, even when they’re grown. They might say, “Don’t do that at night,” or “That’s too dangerous of a commute,” or “You could get hurt; best to forget about it.” While well-intentioned, that approach can create a boundary in the relationship and a lack of trust in an offspring’s ability to be independent. If Orey’s dad had that mentality, it could create resentment from Orey and he would still be worried for her if she decided to run before dawn.

running, runners, dad, daughter, father and daughter, parents, good dads A dad keeps track of time while running with his daughterImage via Canva

Instead, Orey’s dad did something great parents do—he participated. It’s special when anyone inconveniences themselves to support their loved one’s goals. If he was going to feel restless knowing that his daughter was going to run at 5 a.m., might as well go along with her, right?

Supportive and participatory phrases might sound like, “Let me drive you there and back,” “Let’s make a plan together in case the worst happens,” or “Can I do it with you?” This approach not only creates peace of mind for the parent but also strengthens the bond with the child as a wonderful side benefit. And it isn’t just applicable for parents and their kids, but also between spouses, partners, and friends, too. You not only help keep them safe as they pursue their goals but are actively there when they achieve them.

It’s an unfortunate reality that safety is never 100% guaranteed, but providing protection in tandem with support creates something special between loved ones. That alone is worth an early alarm each morning.

This article originally appeared last year.

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Couples share why Valentine's Day for them is February 15th

These couples might be onto something.

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Many couples are celebrating Valentine's Day the day after or later.

Valentine’s Day is a day to celebrate your love with a special dining night out, lavish gifts, chocolate, and all-out memorable experiences. That is, if you live in the movies. For many people, February 14th is a special day with your special someone, but for a growing number of couples it’s just another day in the week. Don’t get it twisted, it’s not that they don’t celebrate Valentine’s Day. It’s just that they celebrate it on February 15th or later.

Folks on Reddit are praising this method. “Got into the packed steakhouse last night where there was practically nobody there,” said one poster. “Flowers and candy were more than half off. Get your partner to accept celebrating Valentine’s on the 15th.”

Other posters have co-signed this philosophy, with one stating the obvious:

“We stopped celebrating on the 14th years ago. Things always cost more. Restaurants are packed. Service and food quality are mediocre, since they're packed. Ubers are surge priced. There's just no good reason—other than the symbolism—to force a celebration the day of. We typically go out the weekend before or after.”

Valentine’s Day is big business in the United States. In spite of Americans scaling back on spending on the holiday last year, the National Retail Federation is projecting $27.5 billion in spending on Valentine’s Day in 2025. That’s a lot of overpriced stuffed bears with hearts and marked up chocolate! It’s gotten to the point that according to the New York Times, marketers and businesses are creating anti-Valentine’s Day products, sales, and movements to ensure they aren’t missing potential customers that revolt against the holiday.

As pointed out by those couples, celebrating the day after or even the weekend after the official Valentine’s Day date can offer deep discounts on chocolate, wine, stuffed animals, and many other products for you and your partner to indulge in. There might even be restaurants in your area that would still serve the Valentine’s Day specials at a lower price in order to sell off the extra lobster, beef, shrimp, etc. that they bulked up on for the busier holiday.

But the discounts and frugality of celebrating Valentine’s Day on February 15th or any other date isn’t the only reason to consider it. Some couples love doing it because they feel like they’re being “discount bandits” like a Bonny and Clyde for deals, loving the fact they’re enjoying each other and their “haul” feeling like they’ve gotten away with something. Or they feel like making Valentine’s Day even more exclusive and special by making it on March 1st or September 8th or whenever they feel like it. Or they just would rather do small loving things each day and have “little” Valentine’s Day every day.

Man kissing woman on the beachFor some couples, Valentine's Day could be a random beach day in the summer.Photo credit: Canva

No matter how or when you spend Valentine’s Day, everyone seems to agree that it’s best when you and your partner make it your own way that works for you both. After all, when you come down to it, it’s all supposed to be about you as a couple. Now pass the discount Reese’s peanut butter cup hearts!

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Lovers share 5 ways to invest time instead of money with your partner on Valentine’s Day

Just you and your loved one, no marketing or credit card required.

Photo credit: Canva

Enjoy Valentine's Day without the need of extra cash.

Valentine’s Day is a special day in which we acknowledge and celebrate the loves in our lives. At least that’s what many marketers are counting on. While the holiday itself is nice, many people are bombarded with pressure to make the day special and that usually follows with several companies selling you expensive products, experiences, dinners, and gifts in order to make the day special.

But you don’t need a lot of money, or any money at all, in order to make the day genuine, authentic, special, and loving towards your partner. Many folks on Reddit and social media are sharing how to make the day special without spending a lot of money. Here are some the top suggestions we’ve found:


“Make a special homemade meal together.”

Taking a moment to cook together something special makes it an easy inexpensive gift for yourselves. It allows you to spend time together not just socially, but as a team to create something delicious. Many couples suggest making homemade pasta given how fun it is to make and how fresh it tastes.

That said, you don’t have to be culinary wizards. If you’re both too intimidated to make a whole meal from scratch, just make or bake a dessert together to share instead.

“Have a small bonfire.”

If you have a backyard, check local laws and your HOA if you have one to see if you can have a small private bonfire with your sweetie. Just enjoying roasting hot dogs and marshmallows, having sips of spirits, and cozying up with your partner while enjoying the warmth of the fire can provide a wonderful quiet romantic setting.

“DIY Spa!”

- YouTubeyoutube.com

Valentine's Day should be relaxing as well as romantic. One great way to do that is to give each other the spa treatment at home. Prep up some fresh towels and bedding for the evening and get some relaxing skin lotion or oil. Before the holiday, watch some massage tutorials on YouTube that you and your partner might want to try out on each other. If you want to go all out, search for bath bomb recipes to make at home and enjoy a bath together. During all of this, put together a Spotify or YouTube playlist of relaxing music or your favorite love songs to just vibe out in relaxing care.

“Star gaze.”

Couple star gazingPhoto credit: Canva

The outdoors are free and beautiful. If the weather is nice, grab a blanket and lay out on the ground with some snacks, wine, and/or a hot beverage to just hold one another while looking at the night sky. It’s simple, it’s cheesy, but it’s wonderful.

“Make art together!”

- YouTubeyoutube.com

A great way to relax at the end of the day and connect with your partner can be indulging in creativity together. Paint a picture together with each person contributing to a single art piece. If you’re crafty and already have the supplies, spend the evening making jewelry for one another or a clay sculpture. If you like art but don’t have anything special around the home, just drawing and coloring pictures for one another can be a cute, fun, and relaxing way to show off your love. Remember, none of it has to be “good.” It’s the fun together that matters.

Whether you take any of these suggestions or not, Valentine’s Day is as special as you make it. Whatever you and your partner want to do or not do together is what will make it great for you both.

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New loneliness study shows that people care about you more than you think

A recent study on loneliness shows how your loneliness underestimates how loved you are.

Photo by Omar Lopez on Unsplash
woman hugging other woman while smiling at beach

A new study published by the American Psychological Association is revealing more about how loneliness affects our brains. Published in the Journal of Personality & Social Psychology, Dr. Edward Lemay Jr. of the University of Maryland and his colleagues decided to test previous research that indicated that loneliness increases negative biases in social perception and heightens a person’s social sensitivity.

The hypothesis was that lonely individuals would hold onto negative biases and perceptions towards their closest friends, family, and partners. These negative biases doubting and questioning a loved one’s responsiveness and care would explain why loneliness can feel like a persistent cycle since it further reduces relationship satisfaction and intimacy. In short, it would explain why some lonely folks feel lonelier and lonelier over time.

Man feeling lonely as a small crowd is in the backgroundYour lonely feelings are real, but your isolation might not be.Photo credit: Canva

Lemay and his team tested this theory with three different studies. The first one included 255 undergrad students who identified three close relationship partners including family, friends, and romantic partners. The participants would self-report their levels of loneliness and answer questionnaires designed to measure their perceptions of each relationship partner’s regard, responsiveness, and communal motivation. Meanwhile, the relationship partners named in the study would self-evaluate their regard and care of the participant.

The second study was focused on 236 romantic couples who completed similar self-reports while also including two friends who were familiar with their relationship providing their independent assessment of each partner in the relationship. The third study had observers track 211 romantic couples, recording their daily interactions along with taking each partner’s self-assessment of the relationship within a two-week period.

All three studies ended with indications that loneliness was linked to negative bias towards care and regard displayed by the people they were closest to. In the first study, lonely participants underestimated how much their relationship partners cared about them, with data showing discrepancies between the participants’ reports and the reports from their family, friends, and romantic partners. In the second study, loneliness predicted lower perceptions of partner regard and care in romantic relationships when compared against partner self-reports and friend informant reports. The third study? Lonely individuals underestimated their partners’ responsiveness, in spite of when their third-party observers rated the partners as supportive.

Woman alone in a crowdPeople who felt lonely in the study underestimated the care their loved ones felt for them.Photo credit: Canva

So all of that means that while the feeling of loneliness is real, the perception of it might be greater than reality. However, if you have experienced loneliness you know how hard it can be to tell yourself that people around you actually do care about you. But the truth is that even if you are truly lonely, scientifically speaking, you’re probably not as isolated as you perceive yourself to be. Loneliness itself is hard on a person, increasing the risk of cardiovascular disease and depression among other physical health issues.

So what can be done to combat loneliness? Well, that’s when effort needs to be put in. Reach out to your loved ones, as that they likely care more than you believe. Be honest with them about how you feel and let them know what they could do to help you feel better.

Woman hugging two womenBeing candid about your loneliness with your friends and family could help you get out of the pit.Photo credit: Canva

You should also do your best to interact with others more, whether it's outside in the public or online. Take a class in something you enjoy to learn more about it around other people who share your interest. Even if you still get that lonely feeling, you will have learned something. Get involved in volunteering. If you still feel lonely, you’ll still feel good about helping those around you. Your loneliness might not magically, instantly disappear doing such social activities but it should wear down over time. If you are still struggling, there are professionals near you that can help you combat it, too.

Oddly, when it comes to fighting loneliness, we’re all in this together.

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