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I'm teaching my 6- and 7-year-old boys about consent. Here's how it's gone so far.

parenting, consent, education, sexuality, community
Photo by saeed karimi on Unsplash

The scenarios of parenting have many hurdles in order to offer a healthy way of approaching life.

The second week of first grade, my 6-year-old son came home and told me, very seriously, "Mama, I have a girlfriend, and I love her."

I didn't laugh at him or tell him he is too young to have a girlfriend, and I didn't minimize his feelings. We had a very serious conversation about his girlfriend: what he likes about her, what they talk about at lunch, and what games they play on the playground at recess. I asked questions about her; some he knew the answers to, and some he didn't.

Nearly every day after that for some time, we talked about his girlfriend, and in every conversation, in some way, we talked about consent — what it means, what it looks like, and how I expect him to act.

I didn't objectify the little girl by referring to her as "your little girlfriend" as I've heard other adults tease their own children. I didn't make jokes about him being a heartbreaker or tell him that the girls will be falling all over him by high school. I didn't tell him his feelings don't matter — and I definitely didn't tell him her feelings don't matter. I think the seeds of misogyny are planted with words as much as behavior, and I treated his emotions seriously because, for him, being in love for the first time is the most serious thing in the world. He will remember this little girl just as I remember my first boyfriend, and how I handle things now is setting the tone for the future.

I wasn't expecting to have these conversations in the context of a relationship quite so soon.

His older brother is more introverted, with the exception of the occasional fleeting crush. But I have been talking about consent and modeling it since my sons were babies.

The idea that young men need to learn about consent in high school or college goes hand-in-hand with the idea that sex education shouldn't be taught before then, either. Consent is an ongoing conversation in our home, framed to suit the situation. But now that my son has a girlfriend, I'm finding ways to introduce the concept of consent within a relationship on a level that he can understand.

From the time my sons were very little — before they could even talk — I started teaching them about body autonomy and consent.

"Do you want me to tickle you?" "Can I pick you up?" "Do you want me to brush your hair?"

I would ask whenever I could, waiting for their response before proceeding. Yes, of course, there are times when a young child needs to be picked up or hair needs to be brushed whether they want it or not, but there are just as many times when children can be given — and deserve — the right to choose. And so I let them decide whenever I can.

Teaching them that no one can touch them without permission was the first step in teaching them about respecting the boundaries of others.

I model the respect I expect them to extend to others. It is an ongoing lesson, as the most important lessons always are.

Of course they fight — what siblings don't? But I teach them that, whatever the game or activity, if someone says "Stop!" or "No!" they are to stop what they are doing.

To that end, I try to stay out of their squabbles and give them time to sort them out. If they don't stop, there are consequences. We talk about how it feels to have someone keep chasing, tickling, or bothering you when you've told them to stop. I watch their empathy for others grow as they consider how it feels to be little and have grownups want to touch their faces or hug them without permission. They're learning, and it gives me hope.

But now I'm having daily conversations with my youngest son about girlfriends and what is — and isn't — OK.

He knows he has to ask if she wants a hug before he touches her. He knows that it's rude to refer to her as "my girlfriend" when talking about her and that it's better, and more respectful, to use her name.

He knows that if he gives her a gift, he should give her a chance to respond instead of inundating her with more gifts. "Let's wait and see how she feels about this lovely picture you made her before you draw another one," I tell him, explaining how overwhelming it can be to have someone give you gifts when you're not ready for them or haven't had a chance to return the affection. Of course, I'm thinking about the boy I knew my junior year of high school who would constantly leave me trinkets of his affection at my locker — affection that wasn't reciprocated and made me uncomfortable, especially after I asked him to stop.

I don't know if I'm doing this right, honestly.

There are times when I think to myself, "But he's only 6! Why are we even having this conversation?" And then I remind myself, "If not now, when?"

I know what it means to be a girl in this world, and my sons are starting to hear my #MeToo stories, the ones they're old enough to understand. How do I talk about what's wrong in the world if I'm not willing to talk about the right behaviors, the right way to treat women?

I know my sons have a good role model in their father and in our marriage. I know they watch how my husband interacts with me, and I see it reflected in how they treat me. It's a start, but I know it's not enough in a world that sends mixed messages to boys about girls and how to treat them.

It's been eye-opening, seeing how my children regard consent.

I've seen how those early lessons in teaching them about their own right to say no have gone a long way in teaching them the empathy and respect they show for others now.

I know we're not done; we're only just starting. I know it's only going to get more complicated as they get older.

But at the end of the day, no matter their age, the core lesson is the same: respect people, care about how they are feeling in your interactions with them, and remember that others have a right to feel differently than you do and to set boundaries for what is OK with them. The situations will change, but those words will be repeated again and again.

Teaching consent is not a one-time discussion. It's something I want my sons to think about every single day.

This story originally appeared on Ravishly and is reprinted here with permission. More from Ravishly:

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    Modern Families

    Once a refugee seeking safety in the U.S., Anita Omary is using what she learned to help others thrive.

    Even in divided times, small acts of friendship help create vibrant communities where everyone feels safe.

    Once a refugee seeking safety in the U.S., Anita Omary is using what she learned to help others thrive.
    Pictured here: Anita Omary; her son, Osman; and Omary’s close friends
    Pictured here: Anita Omary; her son, Osman; and Omary’s close friends
    True

    In March 2023, after months of preparation and paperwork, Anita Omary arrived in the United States from her native Afghanistan to build a better life. Once she arrived in Connecticut, however, the experience was anything but easy.

    “When I first arrived, everything felt so strange—the weather, the environment, the people,” Omary recalled. Omary had not only left behind her extended family and friends in Afghanistan, she left her career managing child protective cases and supporting refugee communities behind as well. Even more challenging, Anita was five months pregnant at the time, and because her husband was unable to obtain a travel visa, she found herself having to navigate a new language, a different culture, and an unfamiliar country entirely on her own.

    “I went through a period of deep disappointment and depression, where I wasn’t able to do much for myself,” Omary said.

    Then something incredible happened: Omary met a woman who would become her close friend, offering support that would change her experience as a refugee—and ultimately the trajectory of her entire life.

    Understanding the journey

    Like Anita Omary, tens of thousands of people come to the United States each year seeking safety from war, political violence, religious persecution, and other threats. Yet escaping danger, unfortunately, is only the first challenge. Once here, immigrant and refugee families must deal with the loss of displacement, while at the same time facing language barriers, adapting to a new culture, and sometimes even facing social stigma and anti-immigrant biases.

    Welcoming immigrant and refugee neighbors strengthens the nation and benefits everyone—and according to Anita Omary, small, simple acts of human kindness can make the greatest difference in helping them feel safe, valued, and truly at home.

    A warm welcome

    Dee and Omary's son, Osman

    Anita Omary was receiving prenatal checkups at a woman’s health center in West Haven when she met Dee, a nurse.

    “She immediately recognized that I was new, and that I was struggling,” Omary said. “From that moment on, she became my support system.”

    Dee started checking in on Omary throughout her pregnancy, both inside the clinic and out.

    “She would call me and ask am I okay, am I eating, am I healthy,” Omary said. “She helped me with things I didn’t even realize I needed, like getting an air conditioner for my small, hot room.”

    Soon, Dee was helping Omary apply for jobs and taking her on driving lessons every weekend. With her help, Omary landed a job, passed her road test on the first attempt, and even enrolled at the University of New Haven to pursue her master’s degree. Dee and Omary became like family. After Omary’s son, Osman, was born, Dee spent five days in the hospital at her side, bringing her halal food and brushing her hair in the same way Omary’s mother used to. When Omary’s postpartum pain became too great for her to lift Osman’s car seat, Dee accompanied her to his doctor’s appointments and carried the baby for her.

    “Her support truly changed my life,” Omary said. “Her motivation, compassion, and support gave me hope. It gave me a sense of stability and confidence. I didn’t feel alone, because of her.”

    More than that, the experience gave Omary a new resolve to help other people.

    “That experience has deeply shaped the way I give back,” she said. “I want to be that source of encouragement and support for others that my friend was for me.”

    Extending the welcome

    Omary and Dee at the Martin Luther King, Jr. Vision Awards ceremony at the University of New Haven.

    Omary is now flourishing. She currently works as a career development specialist as she continues her Master’s degree. She also, as a member of the Refugee Storytellers Collective, helps advocate for refugee and immigrant families by connecting them with resources—and teaches local communities how to best welcome newcomers.

    “Welcoming new families today has many challenges,” Omary said. “One major barrier is access to English classes. Many newcomers, especially those who have just arrived, often put their names on long wait lists and for months there are no available spots.” For women with children, the lack of available childcare makes attending English classes, or working outside the home, especially difficult.

    Omary stresses that sometimes small, everyday acts of kindness can make the biggest difference to immigrant and refugee families.

    “Welcome is not about big gestures, but about small, consistent acts of care that remind you that you belong,” Omary said. Receiving a compliment on her dress or her son from a stranger in the grocery store was incredibly uplifting during her early days as a newcomer, and Omary remembers how even the smallest gestures of kindness gave her hope that she could thrive and build a new life here.

    “I built my new life, but I didn’t do it alone,” Omary said. “Community and kindness were my greatest strengths.”

    Are you in? Click here to join the Refugee Advocacy Lab and sign the #WeWillWelcome pledge and complete one small act of welcome in your community. Together, with small, meaningful steps, we can build communities where everyone feels safe.

    This article is part of Upworthy’s “The Threads Between U.S.” series that highlights what we have in common thanks to the generous support from the Levi Strauss Foundation, whose grantmaking is committed to creating a culture of belonging.

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    Joy

    Thomas Jefferson coined a hip and funny phrase for abrupt goodbyes that still holds up today

    A great phrase for when you've just gotta leave without explanation.

    thomas jefferson, goodbye, name is haines, woman waving, us history
    via White House/Wikimedia Commons and Canva/Photos

    Thomas Jefferson and a woman waving.

    "Irish goodbye" is a term for when someone slips out of an event without telling anyone, avoiding the awkwardness of announcing their departure. (Though the Irish didn't necessarily invent the phenomenon.) But what do we call it when someone decides to turn tail and leave a situation immediately, without any explanation at all? These days, there doesn't seem to be a name for a sudden, unexpected exit. Back in the 1800s, however, there was one, courtesy of the third president, Thomas Jefferson.

    The phrase: "My name is Haines."

    This may sound a bit strange, but it all stems from an unusual interaction Jefferson had while in office with a member of the opposition party. According to Monticello.org, The Weekly Picayune originally published the story in New Orleans on February 17, 1840.

    The story behind "My name is Haines"

    In 1805, during his second term as president, Jefferson was riding near Monticello, his Virginia residence, when he struck up a conversation with another man on the road. Amusingly, the man had no idea who he was speaking to, and as a rank-and-file member of the Federalist Party, which opposed Jefferson's Democratic-Republican Party, he had plenty of harsh words for the president.

    monticello, thomas jefferson, jefferson house, virginia, famous houses Thomas Jefferson's Monticello.via Martin Falbisoner/Wikimedia Commons

    The Weekly Picayune wrote:

    "Haines took particular pains to abuse Mr. Jefferson; called him all kinds of hard names, ran down every measure of his administration, poked the non-intercourse and embargo acts at him as most outrageous and ruinous, ridiculed his gun-boat system as preposterous and nonsensical, opposed his purchase of Louisiana as a wild scheme — in short, took up every leading feature of the politics of the day, and descanted upon them and their originator with the greatest bitterness."

    Jefferson simply listened, neither in the mood to argue nor to reveal his identity. When the two arrived at Jefferson's home, the president invited the man inside for refreshments. At one point, the visitor asked the president for his name. Here is how it was reported in The Weekly Picayune:

    "Jefferson," said the President, blandly.

    "The [devil]! What, Thomas Jefferson?"

    "Yes sir, Thomas Jefferson."

    "President Thomas Jefferson?" continued the astonished Federalist.

    "The same," rejoined Mr. Jefferson.

    "Well, my name is Haines!" and putting spurs to his horse, he was out of hearing instantly.

    jefferson memorial, tidal basin, washington d.c., historical monuments, american history The Jefferson Memorial in Washington, D.C.via Joe Ravi/Wikimedia Commons

    Why did Haines ride off so quickly?

    There are many reasons Haines may have decided to bail on the president so abruptly. He was likely embarrassed after bad-mouthing the president to his face and may not have wanted to risk any reprisal for his harsh words. And as someone who harbored deep ill will toward the president, he probably had no interest in entertaining his company. Regardless, "My name is Haines" became a popular phrase after appearing in The Weekly Picayune , and it was used whenever someone wanted to leave a situation suddenly and without explanation.

    The phrase would be used until around the Civil War, but by the beginning of the 20th century, it, too, had said goodbye. It faded away rather than vanishing in an instant, as Mr. Haines famously did.

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    Pop Culture

    Watch Jesse Jackson get a bunch of kids to chant a 'I Am Somebody' on 'Sesame Street'

    The civil rights icon stopped by Sesame Street for an unforgettable visit.

    Jesse Jackson Sesame Street
    Sesame Street/YouTube

    Jesse Jackson talks to children on Sesame Street

    Sesame Street is a national treasure. And when civil rights icon Jesse Jackson wanted send an uplifting and empowering message to children, he knew exactly where to go.

    I think we can all agree on that. Sesame Street invented the idea that television could teach children, not just entertain them. It taught kids letters and numbers and introduced them to talented and famous people, from Savion Glover to Kofi Annan.

    But the curriculum on the Street was always bigger than counting and Weimaraners. From very early on, its creators showed the world as they dreamed it could be. Black people, white people, and furry blue monsters lived in the same neighborhood. At a time when people with Down Syndrome were regularly institutionalized, Jason Kingsley was a frequent guest. Moms breastfed their babies in public, and all anyone had to say about it was, "That's nice." The whole neighborhood knew enough sign language that they could talk with Linda. They welcomed a new neighbor with a song about how happy they were to have a new friend.

    The most important message Sesame Street sent to its millions of young viewers was this: You matter. You are an important person. You are valuable.

    In 1971, a young Jesse Jackson stood on the steps of 123 Sesame Street and got a bunch of kids to chant "I Am — Somebody," a poem by civil rights activist Rev. William Holmes Borders Sr.

    These kids chant a message that we should give to every kid on earth.

    Did I say kid? I mean human.

    I may be poor. But I am Somebody!
    I may be young. But I am Somebody!
    I may make a mistake. But I am Somebody!
    I must be respected, protected, never rejected.
    I am God's child.
    I am Somebody!

    So say it loud. And pass it to someone who needs a reminder that they are Somebody.


    - YouTube www.youtube.com


    P.S. Are you dying to learn a thousand wonderful facts about Sesame Street's origin story? I highly recommend "Street Gang: The Complete History of Sesame Street" by Michael Davis. I'll never watch the show the same way again.

    This article originally appeared 11 years ago.

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    Pop CultureMoreTelevision
    Pets

    People are sharing videos of their cats 'attacking' lugers at the Olympics, and it's pure gold

    Move over, laser pointer.

    cats, olympics, luge, winter olympics, cat hunting instincts
    Photo credit: Canva

    Some cats just can't resist a luger.

    Cats are famously among the most efficient hunters on Earth, total ambush experts with keen hearing, excellent night vision, lightning-fast reflexes, and the ability to stalk in silence. The fact that humans domesticated these carnivorous predators to keep as cuddly pets is pretty wild when you think about it, especially knowing they could do some real damage to us if they wanted to.

    Thankfully, they generally don't want to. Pet cats want to pretend-stalk squirrels from the sofa, go wild with a laser pointer, and do their best to catch Olympic lugers on the TV as they whizz by.

    Wait, catch lugers? Yep. Watch:

    The comment section on the video is filled with images of cats trying to catch not only lugers but skiiers, figure skaters, hockey players, and even curling stones. And people just loved seeing the tiny hunters pawing at the screen:

    "Watching cats watch the Olympics is the best way to watch the Olympics."

    "Wow she almost caught that guy."

    "The ear flick in confusion after not catching it is so damn cute lol."

    "Do the athletes even know they're up against such a terrifying foe?"

    "Hey so actually this is bad for the cats because they can get overly invested and join the Jamaican bobsled team."

    Others shared their cats' love of luge and other Olympic sports as well:


    @lagatitalunalollipop

    Lunas is loving the Winter Olympics #luge #winterolympics #cats #funnycat #olympics

    @kristiinawilson

    Our CH kitten is OBSESSED with watching Olympic luge #olympics #luge #funnycat #chcat #olympics2026

    @micaela_bona

    Ci sarà anche lei alle prossime olimpiadi !!! 🐈⛸️ #iceskating #cat #olympics #milanocortina2026 #iliamalinin

    What triggers a cat's hunting instincts?

    Whether cats were first domesticated to be our furry little friends or to keep rodents away from our food stores is debatable, but there's no question that their penchant for catching mice was a perk for humans throughout history. Most modern housecats aren't kept for that purpose, but they still act like they're hunters-in-training.

    Cats' predatory instincts don't go away just because they lead a cushy indoor life, as every cat owner cat attest. How often do we see a seemingly bored cat suddenly come to attention, eyes wide, ears engaged, back hunched, locked in on a bird or squirrel out the window? Those instincts are triggered by sudden movements, which is why the luge and other quick-moving sports have so many kitties pawing at the screen.

    Horizon Animal Hospital shares some tips for playing with your cat in a way that honors their predatory nature:

    - Provide views of the great outdoors

    Be sure they can look out windows to see the wildlife. Just be aware that some cats may find their inability to catch the prey they see frustrating and become aggressive because of it.

    cat, kitten, cat harness, cat on a leash, indoor cat Indoor cats can enjoy the outdoors safely with a harness and leash.Photo credit: Canva

    - Let them explore outside safely

    Veterinarians and wildlife experts recommend keeping pet cats indoors, but there are ways for cats to enjoy outdoor time in ways that are safe for them and other animals. Setting up an outdoor enclosure, or a "catio," for them is one option. Taking them outside on a harness and leash is another.

    - Prioritize interactive play

    Cats quickly become bored with toys that don't simulate prey, so finding interactive toys for them is vital. Catnip mice, feathers on a string, and other things they can attack or toss around are great choices. Puzzle toys and interactive feeders can also keep them busy while you're away.

    - YouTube www.youtube.com

    - Try a laser pointer

    Laser pointers really are the ideal way to play with a cat. They can't seem to help themselves when the laser light starts darting around the room, and it's great entertainment for them and for their humans. Avoid shining it in their eyes, and it's helpful to end a laser play session by pointing the laser dot on a toy they can "kill," like a toy mouse, to avoid frustration.



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    Internet

    People share their favorite 'non-tech' hobbies that keep them sane in a digital world

    Some inspo for those craving a bit of simplicity and a break from the screens.

    hobbies, analog hobbies, making art, exercise, digital detox, ask reddit, creativity, art, dance, hobbies
    Photo credit: Canva

    Working with your hands is medicine for the soul.

    Digital fatigue is brutal. It robs us of our focus, productivity, and most importantly, our joy. Thankfully, there is a way to escape the never-ending flurry of notifications, emails, and pings and reclaim our inner peace in a way that’s not only effective but fun as well.

    Cue: analog hobbies.

    The health benefits of analog hobbies are well-documented. Whether they be artistic pursuits like painting or drawing, which help ease racing thoughts and anxiety, or physical activities like gardening or dancing, which get us more active, or some combination of both, like cooking or woodworking, which enlists both the practical and creative sides of our brains.

    During the height of the COVID-19 pandemic, many of us found out firsthand just how soothing tech-free hobbies could be. According to one survey, nearly two-thirds of Americans picked up a new hobby during this time. And even though we are more or less back to the regular hustle and bustle of pre-COVID times, the need to unplug is just as important now as ever.

    hobbies, analog hobbies, making art, exercise, digital detox, ask reddit, creativity, art, dance, hobbies Do any of us still make sourdough? media2.giphy.com

    If you’re looking for inspiration for your next low-to-no tech hobby, keep reading.

    Recently, a Reddit user shared that they had been “craving a bit of simplicity and a break from screens,” and in the process rediscovered former analog passions like sketching and playing vinyl records.

    “Personally, I’ve found that stepping away from tech even for just an hour or two really helps with mental clarity and stress relief," they wrote. "Also, there’s something so satisfying about making something with your hands, right?"

    “It made me wonder: what non-tech hobbies have you all picked up or returned to recently?" they added. "Whether it’s knitting, gardening, brewing your own coffee, or something else that doesn’t require a charger or Wifi.”

    Boy, did people respond in kind. Be it with classics like cross-stitching, or some out-of-the-box ideas like sending postcards to German princes (more on that later). Many even shared samples of their WIPS (works in progress), which was doubly inspiring.

    Take a look at some of our favorites:

    “Fused glass is my current hobby. I just enjoy doing it and don't look at my phone for hours when I'm cutting glass. Unfortunately, I do have a lot of cuts on my hands.”

    hobbies, analog hobbies, making art, exercise, digital detox, ask reddit, creativity, art, dance, hobbies A fused glass bowl. Reddit

    “Solo board games. There are tons of different mechanics, difficulties and themes…My favorites are Tiny Epic Dungeons, Nemo’s War, Zombicide Black Plague, Threetale, Grove, Valor and Villainy, Ludwig’s Labyrinth.”

    “Aquascaping is such a good break from tech. I have all the time I spend fiddling with rocks and plants, and once that’s done and I stock the tank with fish and shrimp and whatever else, I have a living piece of art that is 100% custom and always changing.”

    hobbies, analog hobbies, making art, exercise, digital detox, ask reddit, creativity, art, dance, hobbies An example of aquascaping. Reddit

    “Volunteering at the animal shelter.”

    “Journaling! My thoughts feel so much clearer after writing everything down. :-)”

    “I've fallen in love with whittling.”

    hobbies, analog hobbies, making art, exercise, digital detox, ask reddit, creativity, art, dance, hobbies Whittled Halloween figures. Reddit

    “Gardening has probably become the one that’s changed my life the most, it gets me more active, I spend and enjoy hours outside now. It’s taken a big bite out of my grocery bill, it also forces me to cook more. I extend the season by growing cool season crops, keeping a small hydro grow indoors and starting seeds in March. I also vermicompost indoors which is oddly fun and comforting — digging in dirt in the middle of winter and anticipating spring. I find having year round gardening activities helps with SAD and it’s done a ton for my overall mental health and sense of wellbeing.”

    “Water coloring bookmarks.”

    hobbies, analog hobbies, making art, exercise, digital detox, ask reddit, creativity, art, dance, hobbies A water color painted bookmark. Reddit

    “I’ve been doing film photography since 1973 and am still at it in my home darkroom.”

    “Repairing old electric toy trains. I find myself looking forward to unplugging and taking these things apart to fix or replace a part or two and bring them back to life. The smell of oil, soldering a wire or two, working through a fairly simple mechanical problem - these are the only things keeping me sane these days!”

    “Counted cross-stitch work in progress”

    hobbies, analog hobbies, making art, exercise, digital detox, ask reddit, creativity, art, dance, hobbies A cross-stitched pattern of a goddess-like woman. Reddit

    “I have gotten back into writing letters to pen pals but most of them are what I call fictional pen pals. That's where I create a character and that character writes a pen pal letter to another created character. It's a lot of fun and makes me slow down to actually write a letter and I can live a more exciting life through my character.”

    “Latte-art for me :)”

    hobbies, analog hobbies, making art, exercise, digital detox, ask reddit, creativity, art, dance, hobbies Latte art.Reddit

    “I write letters to royals and nobles world wide and collect their responses. It makes going to the mailbox a lot of fun! I always send birthday, anniversary, and coronation day greetings. Other times it might be commenting on an event they attended or appearance they made. Other times letters of condolence if they've experienced a recent death of a loved one. You'd be surprised how many respond personally, particularly minor royals or nobles (the German princes have been particularly gracious with their time to write back).”

    “Been a woodworker since I was a wee lad. It’s just super relaxing and mentally rewarding to dive into a project… Here's one of my latest…Most of the work was done with muscle powered hand tools…”

    hobbies, analog hobbies, making art, exercise, digital detox, ask reddit, creativity, art, dance, hobbies A handmade wood cabinet.Reddit

    “Making collages from old magazines. It’s somewhat mindless and cheap to get started. People give away free old magazines on Facebook marketplace or you can buy cheap ones on eBay.”

    “Making my own stencils from cardboard and using them on my gelli plate. I’m into surface design at the moment.”

    “Watercolor painting”

    hobbies, analog hobbies, making art, exercise, digital detox, ask reddit, creativity, art, dance, hobbies A watercolor butterfly.Reddit

    “I’m getting back into art welding. Last week, I found myself in a flow state and forgot to eat. I’m also stunned at how encouraging different old dudes have been to me at supply shops. It was not like that 13 years ago when I learned.”

    “Knitting socks.”

    “Dollhouse miniature modeling.”

    “Getting back into pottery. I get into my zen zone when my hands get dirty.”

    “After dabbling before, I’m now taking up bookbinding! Despite the latest trend in doing up fancy versions of paperbacks, you can actually start with stuff you have at home and would otherwise throw away. The first book we’re making in my coptic class uses cardboard packaging and regular printer paper.”

    “Camping and backpacking are the most fulfilling for me. I enjoy hiking, birding, tying knots, chilling in a hammock, reading, and photography. I get to do all those things in one hobby.”

    “Mandolin and tenor guitar.”

    “I paint portraits in oils - mostly of family, or pets. Here is my latest piece. It’s a very rewarding hobby and I’ve met some amazing people along the way.”

    hobbies, analog hobbies, making art, exercise, digital detox, ask reddit, creativity, art, dance, hobbies An oil portrait of a baby. Reddit

    “My all-time favourite analog hobbies are dirt biking, snowmobiling, skiing at 2-3 years old, and they certainly do not need WiFi. Why are they such a great escape from the digital world? Cause you literally leave your home, go where theres no cell service, and you only focus on the machine/skis and never the phone while doing them. Perfect, best escape from the digital world.”

    “I go on walks looking for 4 leaf clovers and lay them out in a photo album and think of it kind of like art meets meditation meets scavenger hunting.”

    hobbies, analog hobbies, making art, exercise, digital detox, ask reddit, creativity, art, dance, hobbies Pressed four leaf clovers. Reddit

    “Penmanship. Specifically: writing cursive with a fountain pen. I've started collecting some pens, improved my handwriting, started journaling a little, and even ground some of my own nibs.”

    “Public lectures, author meet-and-greets, book clubs, meetups in general- local colleges often have special interest groups open to the public, public libraries usually have some event going on, farmer's markets and local festivals frequently have interesting people who love to talk about what they do.”

    “I love air dry clay, particularly the brand Das.”

    hobbies, analog hobbies, making art, exercise, digital detox, ask reddit, creativity, art, dance, hobbies A clay pumpkin.Reddit

    “Rockhounding, because it literally gets me out of the house and going places.”

    For those wondering, rockhounding is searching for and collecting rocks, minerals, fossils, gems, etc. Some folks get specific on what types of colors or shapes they aim to find. And while rockhounding itself involves no tech, you might need to hop online to make sure you're allowed to take items from the spot you're in.

    “I love fishing! It's so peaceful!”

    “I danced as a kid and recently got back into it through a dance fitness class. Now I'm choreographing my own dances. It's fun, active, and creative.”

    Let this be your sign to carve out some time for joy today, in whatever way feels best. Your mind, body, and spirit will thank you for it.

    This article originally appeared last year.

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    A fun personality test determines 'how you love' based on your animal archetype

    Are you a lion, a beaver, an otter, or a golden retriever?

    otter, lion, dog, golden retriever, beaver
    Phtoo Credit: https://www.canva.com/photos

    An otter, a lion, a golden retriever, a beaver

    In the never-ending quest to understand ourselves better, or at least have just one more distraction from whatever it is we should be doing, here comes the animal personality test. And the craziest part is (at least for me), it's kind of accurate.

    The truth is, these days anyone can create their own personality tests. (And they do… and I've taken them.) Which Sex and the City character are you? Who is your inner Marvel superhero? What color is your heart? (Carrie, Ant Man, and black respectively.)

    But this particular animal archetype quiz, in actuality, is a model developed in the late 90s by Gary Smalley, an author with a psychology background and a PhD in counseling. Co-created by author John Trent, the two wrote a book called The Two Sides of Love: The Secret to Valuing Differences. The idea is to strike a balance between the tender, "soft" side of love and the "hard," more direct side. After taking the quiz provided in the book (and now online), one can find out if their temperament is the lion, the beaver, the otter, or the golden retriever.

    Even though it was written as a love-based tool, this personality test is often mentioned in the corporate world as a way to find out how people relate in the workforce. Jasper Rose, a financial recruiting agency, shared the quiz on their website, but notes, "This model should be taken with a pinch of salt. These animal categories describe the natural leaning of your temperament. In other words, they aren’t entirely fixed, as personalities are flexible and change over time, and people are complex." (So something an otter would say.)

    Without further ado, the personality test can be taken (among many places) through this Michigan State University worksheet here:

    personality test, lion, beaver, otter, golden retriever Gary Smalley and John Trent's personality testPhoto Credit: Michigan State University

    As with most personality tests, these questions can be tricky, as many times more than one answer will apply. For example, one question asks that you rank what best describes you from the following: "likes authority, enthusiastic, sensitive feelings, likes instructions." Another: "Takes charge, takes risks, loyal, accurate." It's possible to relate to all four statements equally, making this a flawed test.

    But if you're in it for a lighthearted look at something that may vaguely describe you, here's a breakdown of the results:

    THE LION

    lion, personality, fierce, strong, animal A lion roams. Giphy GIF by Savage Kingdom, Nat Geo

    These, according to the test, are the natural-born leaders. They are confident, take-charge, strong, and independent. From the Jasper Rose website:

    "Strengths: visionary, persistent, practical, productive, initiates change and projects, communicates directly, enjoys being challenged, strong-willed, independent, decisive, leader.

    Weaknesses: Insensitive/cold, sarcastic, self-sufficient, impatient, stubborn, overlooks risks, controlling at times, can be too direct."

    An educational worksheet on the Community Engaged Learning website (Michigan State University) adds that lions, "are great at initiating communication, but not great at listening." They add their natural desires are "freedom, authority, variety, difficult assignments, opportunity for advancement."

    THE OTTER

    otter, personality, silly, cute, animal An otter is surprised. Giphy GIF by Nashville Tour Stop

    These are our happy social types. "They are often energetic and enthusiastic, with a tendency to be playful and enjoy humor. Otters are generally creative and enjoy trying new things but may struggle with follow-through. They value relationships and are often empathetic and compassionate towards others."

    "Strengths: Outgoing, optimistic, personable, communicator, dreamer, responsive, warm, friendly, talkative, enthusiastic, compassionate.

    Weaknesses: Undisciplined, unproductive, exaggerative, egocentric, unstable, struggle with follow-through, impulsive, needs social approval, easily offended."

    The Center for Relationship Education adds, "Otters find it easy to be soft on people. It is also easy for them to be soft on problems. Otters need to learn to say ‘No’ and provide the hard-side balance of healthy boundary setting."

    THE BEAVER

    beaver, animal, personality type, snacks, cute Beaver enjoying a snack. Giphy GIF by San Diego Zoo Wildlife Alliance

    These are our go-tos for decisive, detail-oriented people who actually enjoy structure and routine. "Beavers tend to be cautious and risk-averse, preferring to follow established procedures rather than taking chances. They are also known for their analytical skills and ability to organize complex information. However, they may struggle with flexibility and creativity, and may sometimes be perceived as overly critical."

    "Strengths: Analytical, thorough, decision-maker, deliberate, self-disciplined, industrious, organized, aesthetic, sacrificing.

    Weaknesses: Moody, self-centered, touchy, negative, unsociable, critical, revengeful."

    The educational handout adds that in terms of relationships, "Beavers are good listeners, communicate details, and are usually diplomatic."

    THE GOLDEN RETRIEVER

    dog, golden retriever, personality quiz, loyalty Golden Retriever adorably looks up. Giphy GIF by WoofWaggers

    These are our loyal, dependable friends/lovers. "They also tend to avoid conflict and prioritize maintaining harmony in their relationships. However, they may struggle with making decisions and taking action, and may sometimes come across as passive or indifferent."

    "Strengths: Calm, supportive, agreeable, easy-going, loyal, dependable, quiet, objective, diplomatic, humorous, values relationships, stable and consistent.

    Weaknesses: Selfish, stingy, indirect with others, resists change, procrastinator, unmotivated, lacks initiative, indecisive, fearful, worrier, can be co-dependent."

    The Center for Relationship Education notes, "Goldens’ strong tendency toward the soft-side of love can lead to issues of co-dependence and enabling. Goldens need to learn to balance their natural soft-side with some hard-side qualities."

    As with most quizzes like these, most of us are a combination of traits not easily put into labeled boxes. If nothing else, it's a creative way to get people thinking about how they interact with one another in a variety of situations. (Which is totally something a golden retriever like me would say.)

    This article originally appeared last year

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