He asked her to turn down a promotion to spare his ego and the story went viral
Things are changing and it's time we all get with the program.
The times are changing... slowly.
Twitter user Kimber Dowsett was bored and waiting to catch a flight when she caught wind of a couple arguing.
Like most of us would (though we might not admit it), she quickly found herself listening in on the juicy drama.
When she realized what the argument was about, she pulled out her phone and began documenting the scene on Twitter for the benefit of her 24,000 followers.
The couple was arguing about money, but not in a "What do you mean you forgot to pay the gas bill?!" kind of way. It was bigger than that.
The woman had been offered a promotion at work, and Dowsett couldn't believe she was listening to the woman's partner — a man — telling her to turn it down.
He'd be "humiliated," he told her, if she made more money than him, explaining that if she really loved him, she'd turn the promotion down.
Couple beside me at the airport is arguing over money. He just told her if she loved him she’d turn down the promot… https://t.co/SfTzr10pj0— bat (@bat) 1513701391.0
Really.
As Dowsett continued listening in, the man twisted the knife, so to speak, insisting his partner put his feelings above her career.
Shocked and enraged, Dowsett sat at her airport gate, listening as the woman began crying, promising her partner she'd never jeopardize the relationship. When the man continued to insist she turn down the job, Dowsett couldn't help it. "I just want to punch him," she tweeted.
omg she’s crying and said she’d never do anything to jeopardize their relationship and he’s like “good then turn do… https://t.co/iZIOMbj6c2— bat (@bat) 1513701492.0
It only went downhill from there.
According to Dowsett, the man had simply assumed that his partner would eventually leave her job altogether to take care of the kids. There's no point focusing on her career anyway, he told her.
He just told her once they’re married and have kids she wouldn’t be working anyway so there’s no point focusing on… https://t.co/QBs4U6c5R1— bat (@bat) 1513701698.0
OMG SHE WIPED HER TEARS & SAID “kids? who said anything about me ever wanting kids?!” https://t.co/WrFXgAWIOz— bat (@bat) 1513701795.0
The dramatic fight ended, Dowsett wrote, when the woman stormed off, leaving her now-ex to go on vacation with his own damn self.
Apparently Dowsett wasn't the only person who overheard the fight, as the people waiting at the gate burst into applause for the woman when she threw her boarding pass at her ex and told him to have fun in Cancun.
SHE THREW HER BOARDING PASS AT HIM AND TOLD HIM TO HAVE FUN IN CANCUN. SHE JUST RAGE QUIT. OMG PEOPLE CLAPPED WHEN… https://t.co/LqUmmKCibm— bat (@bat) 1513701956.0
The Tweet thread went viral, with people applauding the woman or just enjoying the absurdity of it all.
For all the conversation's viral hilarity, there's more than a kernel of uncomfortable truth in this story.
The wage gap still exists, but women are becoming more and more likely to be the breadwinners in their households and relationships. And that's not just single mothers. Some estimates say about a quarter of all marriages include a woman who earns more than her partner — a number that has quadrupled since the '60s.
This is a good thing — obviously! It's a sign that women are kicking ass in the workplace and finally getting more opportunities to advance, despite the wage gap and sexual harassment and other barriers women face in the workplace.
As the argument above shows, however, it's not a comfortable transition for every couple. After all, there is immense societal pressure on men to "provide for the family" and on women to slide into motherly, caretaker roles.
For the love of equality, dudes, don't be like Airport Guy. Be proud of your wives and girlfriends and partners for their accomplishments.
"Equal pay" is only going to get more equal, and the number of women in heterosexual relationships who out-earn or match what their male partners make is going to march closer and closer to half.
Being a man does not entitle you to a higher salary. Not anymore. Being secure in your masculinity and being a supportive partner means celebrating your significant other's successes. It means encouraging them to be their best and being proud of them when they succeed, even if it means they might be doing "better" than you.
Yes, some people might think it's "weird" if a wife or girlfriend makes more money, but things are changing and it's time we all get with the program.
Don't get swept away with this outdated idea of how things "should be" — or risk being immortalized by a viral Tweet thread in which you come off looking like a total jackass. It's much better to just enjoy having a relationship with a talented, intelligent, and ambitious woman, if you're lucky enough to have one.
This article originally appeared on 12.27.17
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12 non-threatening leadership strategies for women
We mustn't hurt a man's feelings.
Men and the feels.
Note: This an excerpt is from Sarah Cooper's book, How to Be Successful Without Hurting Men's Feelings.
In this fast-paced business world, female leaders need to make sure they're not perceived as pushy, aggressive, or competent.
One way to do that is to alter your leadership style to account for the fragile male ego.
Should men accept powerful women and not feel threatened by them? Yes. Is that asking too much?
IS IT?
Sorry, I didn't mean to get aggressive there. Anyhoo, here are twelve non-threatening leadership strategies for women.
Encourage.
With permission from Sarah Cooper.
When setting a deadline, ask your coworker what he thinks of doing something, instead of just asking him to get it done. This makes him feel less like you're telling him what to do and more like you care about his opinions.
Sharing ideas.
With permission from Sarah Cooper.
When sharing your ideas, overconfidence is a killer. You don't want your male coworkers to think you're getting all uppity. Instead, downplay your ideas as just "thinking out loud," "throwing something out there," or sharing something "dumb," "random," or "crazy."
Email requests.
With permission from Sarah Cooper.
Pepper your emails with exclamation marks and emojis so you don't come across as too clear or direct. Your lack of efficient communication will make you seem more approachable.
Idea sharing.
With permission from Sarah Cooper.
If a male coworker steals your idea in a meeting, thank him for it. Give him kudos for how he explained your idea so clearly. And let's face it, no one might've ever heard it if he hadn't repeated it.
Sexism.
With permission from Sarah Cooper.
When you hear a sexist comment, the awkward laugh is key. Practice your awkward laugh at home, with your friends and family, and in the mirror. Make sure you sound truly delighted even as your soul is dying inside.
Mansplain.
With permission from Sarah Cooper.
Men love explaining things. But when he's explaining something and you already know that, it might be tempting to say, "I already know that." Instead, have him explain it to you over and over again. It will make him feel useful and will give you some time to think about how to avoid him in the future.
Mistakes.
With permission from Sarah Cooper.
Pointing out a mistake is always risky so it's important to always apologize for noticing the mistake and then make sure that no one thinks you're too sure about it. People will appreciate your "hey what do I know?!" sensibilities.
Promotions.
With permission from Sarah Cooper.
Asking your manager for a promotion could make you seem power- hungry, opportunistic, and transparent. Instead, ask a male coworker to vouch for you. Have your coworker tell your manager you'd be great for the role even though you don't really want it. This will make you more likely to actually get that promotion.
Rude.
With permission from Sarah Cooper.
Sometimes not everyone is properly introduced at the start of a meeting. Don't take it personally even if it happens to you all the time, and certainly don't stop the meeting from moving forward to introduce yourself. Sending a quick note afterward is the best way to introduce yourself without seeming too self-important.
Interruptions.
With permission from Sarah Cooper.
When you get interrupted, you might be tempted to just continue talking or even ask if you can finish what you were saying. This is treacherous territory. Instead, simply stop talking. The path of least resistance is silence.
Collaboration.
With permission from Sarah Cooper.
When collaborating with a man, type using only one finger. Skill and speed are very off-putting.
Disagreements.
With permission from Sarah Cooper.
When all else fails, wear a mustache so everyone sees you as more man-like. This will cancel out any need to change your leadership style. In fact, you may even get a quick promotion!
In conclusion...
With permission from Sarah Cooper.
Many women have discovered the secret power of non-threatening leadership. We call it a "secret power" because no one else actually knows about it. We keep our power hidden within ourselves so that it doesn't frighten and intimidate others. That's what makes us the true unsung heroes of the corporate world.
About the Author: Sarah Cooper
Sarah Cooper is a writer, comedian, and author of 100 Tricks to Appear Smart in Meetings. Her new book, How to Be Successful Without Hurting Men's Feelings, is out now.
The comedic book cover.
With permission from Sarah Cooper.
A satirical take on what it's like to be a woman in the workplace, Cooper draws from her experience as a former executive in the world of tech (she's a former Googler and Yahooer). You can get the book here.
This article was originally published on March 25, 2019.