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7 toxic evening habits that silently keep you stuck in life (and how to fix them)

Your evening routine might be the reason you’re not living your best life. Let’s fix that.

Woman scrolling mindlessly on her phone.

It’s the end of another exhausting day. You promise yourself that tonight will be different. Tonight, you’ll read that book collecting dust under your bed, text your friend back, or maybe even do some evening meditation to center yourself. But somehow, three hours later, you’re in bed watching TikToks about which Girls character you are, and it hits you: this feels bad. Like, really bad.

(Don’t worry, you’re in excellent company—we’ve all been there.)


scrolling, phone, addiction, evening, habits Creating healthy evening habits matters. Photo credit: Canva

Here’s the thing about evening habits: in the moment, they feel innocent and harmless, but they’re basically the psychological equivalent of termites eating away at the foundation of your life. Behavioral researchers discovered that the hours between dinner and sleep represent something called a “vulnerability window,” a time when your willpower is shot and your brain is desperately seeking comfort. Ah, the perfect conditions for self-sabotage.

Your evening routine (or lack of one) might be the reason you’re not living your best life. We’re here to fix that. Here are seven “harmless” habits that are actually holding you back—and what to do about them.


The doom-scrolling spiral

“Oh, I’ll just check Instagram for just five minutes.”

Let me know the next time that works.

To your brain, scrolling endlessly is like being in a Vegas casino with a black card—and you’ll stop at nothing to get that dopamine jackpot. With every piece of new information, your brain receives a slight boost of dopamine, creating what researchers call an “intermittent reinforcement schedule”—the exact psychological mechanism that makes gambling addictive and dangerous.



Scrolling through social media for hours can activate your threat-detection system, flooding your body with stress hormones like cortisol just when you should be winding down. Studies show regular doom-scrollers report higher levels of anxiety and trouble sleeping, creating a vicious cycle where poor sleep makes you more susceptible to negative thinking… which, of course, drives you to scroll even more.

Let’s fix this: Create a “phone parking station” outside your bedroom. Seriously. Charge it somewhere else, and place it there 90 minutes before bed. Then, replace the habit with something that genuinely interests you, like reading a book or doing gentle stretches. Oh, and before you reach for the iPad: this goes for all devices.


Bedtime procrastination

Your eyelids are drooping, but instead of pulling the covers up and going to sleep, you’re up until 2 AM doing absolutely nothing important. Welcome to “revenge bedtime procrastination,” your brain’s rebellion against a day that felt completely out of your control.


woman, sleeping, bedtime, rest, energy A woman sleeping peacefully.Photo credit: Canva

What’s going on here? Your psyche is essentially saying “I didn’t get enough personal time today, so I’ll just steal it now, at the cost of tonight’s sleep.” This phenomenon is particularly common among people with demanding schedules or those who feel they lack autonomy during the day.

However, chronic bedtime procrastination creates a cascading series of issues. Poor sleep leads to decreased cognitive performance, emotional instability, and reduced willpower, which can trap you in a "procrastination insomnia cycle", where each night of delayed sleep makes the day more stressful and the next bedtime more tempting to put off.

Let’s fix this: Create a “bedtime procrastination emergency plan.” It’s a big red button to press when you feel the self-sabotage setting in, but don’t know what to do. When you catch yourself avoiding bed, do a wind-down activity of your choice—no questions asked—like a 10-minute meditation or journaling about three things you’re grateful for.

Evening rumination

The moment your head hits the pillow, your brain decides it’s show time: replaying the day’s mistakes, imagining worst-case scenarios, and generally turning your mind into your own personal anxiety theater.


- YouTube www.youtube.com

Your brain is trying to process unresolved emotional content. Still, instead of the helpful type of processing, you’ve gotten stuck in an unproductive loop that elevates your cortisol levels when they should be at their lowest.

Let’s fix that: Your running thoughts aren’t useless; it’s your brain’s way of trying to protect you. But there’s a time and place for everything, and right now is neither. Try the “worry time” technique, which is exactly what it sounds like. Dedicate 15 minutes of the day to worrying, ruminating, plotting, and scheming. Or, keep a “brain dump” journal near your bed to offload racing thoughts without judgment.


Stress eating your feelings

You’re not even hungry, but somehow, you’re standing in the kitchen at 10 PM with a spoon in one hand and a jar of Nutella in the other, wondering how you got there.

Evening emotional eating serves multiple functions: immediate comfort, a twisted sense of reward after a difficult day, or self-soothing when your willpower has been depleted. However, using food as a primary emotional regulation strategy is just a chocolate-smeared Band-Aid, covering up the real problems and preventing you from developing healthier coping mechanisms.


Let’s fix that: Work on identifying your triggers. Why are you binge-eating late at night? Are you lonely, bored, stressed, or something else? Finding the real issue is the first step towards addressing it more healthily. Or, create a “kitchen closed” policy after 8 PM. Stick to it religiously.


24/7 work tether

Checking work emails right before bed because it will “just take a second” is like inviting your most stressful colleague to sleep over: no separation between work and private life, and it should be a workplace violation.

Research shows that employees who regularly check work communications after hours experience higher rates of burnout, and the constant mental availability prevents psychological recovery. This can lead to decreased creativity, impaired decision-making, and emotional exhaustion.


burnout, emails, work, evening, routines A woman sitting in front of her laptop. Photo by Olena Kamenetska on Unsplash

Let’s fix this: Set explicit communication curfews and stick to them. If you have to email someone after hours, use the “schedule send” function so that the email arrives during the business day. Remember: your well-being is worth more than always being available.


Perfectionism paralysis

Do you spend evening hours crafting elaborate to-do lists and researching productivity systems instead of doing things you actually want to do? Well, you are likely using the illusion of productivity to avoid the discomfort of imperfect action.

Perfectionist planning provides psychological satisfaction in “working on” goals without the risk of messy execution. But it creates an endless cycle where you’re never quite ready to begin.

Let’s fix this: Try the “2-minute rule.” If something takes less than two minutes, do it now, instead of adding it to a list.


Distraction addiction

Every quiet moment needs to be filled with background TV, music, or scrolling through your phone because the silence feels uncomfortable or anxiety-provoking. But constant simulation has the opposite effect: it prevents emotional processing and keeps you disconnected from your actual desires.


woman, phone, worried, evening, routines Constant stimulation could be stressing you out. Photo credit: Canva

Without regular stillness, unresolved feelings can accumulate in the mind and the body, leading to chronic anxiety or emotional numbness.

Let’s fix that: Start small. Try practicing “micro-stillness,” 30 seconds of silence between activities. This can look like taking three conscious breaths while moving between tasks.


The beautiful truth about small changes

Behavioral science shows that even the smallest of changes in our evening routines can create dynamic improvements in our overall life satisfaction. You don’t need to change everything all at once, simply pick one habit from above that resonates the most with your current struggles and commit to working on it for two weeks.


woman, evening, routines, habits, happy A woman enjoying her evenings again.Photo credit: Canva

As your evening energy gradually improves, you will naturally find it easier to address other patterns. Because your evenings aren’t just the end of the day—they’re the foundation for tomorrow.

Depression manifests in many ways.

Most people imagine depression equals “really sad," and unless you've experienced depression yourself, you might not know it goes so much deeper than that. Depression expresses itself in many different ways, some more obvious than others. While some people have a hard time getting out of bed, others might get to work just fine—it's different for everyone.


To find out how depression shows itself in ways other people can't see, we asked The Mighty mental health community to share one thing people don't realize they're doing because they have depression.

Here's what they had to say:

1. “In social situations, some people don't realize I withdraw or don't speak much because of depression. Instead, they think I'm being rude or purposefully antisocial." — Laura B.

2. “I struggle to get out of bed, sometimes for hours. Then just the thought of taking a shower is exhausting. If I manage to do that, I am ready for a nap. People don't understand, but anxiety and depression is exhausting, much like an actual physical fight with a professional boxer." — Juli J.

3. “Agreeing to social plans but canceling last minute. Using an excuse but really you just chickened out. It makes you think your friends don't actually want to see you, they just feel bad. Obligation." — Brynne L.

4. “Hiding in my phone. Yes, I am addicted to it, but not like other people. I don't socialize, I play games or browse online stores to distract myself from my negative thoughts. It's my safe bubble." — Eveline L.

5. “Going to bed at 9 p.m. and sleeping throughout the night until 10 or 11 a.m." — Karissa D.

6. “Isolating myself, not living up to my potential at work due to lack of interest in anything, making self-deprecating jokes. I've said many times before, 'I laugh, so that I don't cry.' Unfortunately, it's all too true." — Kelly K.

man dealing with depressionman sitting on chair covering his eyesPhoto by christopher lemercier on Unsplash

7. “When I reach out when I'm depressed it's 'cause I am wanting to have someone to tell me I'm not alone. Not because I want attention." — Tina B.

8. “I don't like talking on the phone. I prefer to text. Less pressure there. Also being anti-social. Not because I don't like being around people, but because I'm pretty sure everyone can't stand me." — Meghan B.

9. “I overcompensate in my work environment… and I work front line at a Fitness Centre, so I feel the need to portray an 'extra happy, bubbly personality.' As soon as I walk out the doors at the end of the day, I feel myself 'fall.' It's exhausting… I am a professional at hiding it." — Lynda H.

10. “The excessive drinking. Most people assume I'm trying to be the 'life of the party' or just like drinking in general. I often get praised for it. But my issues are much deeper than that." — Teresa A.

11. “Hiding out in my room for hours at a time watching Netflix or Hulu to distract my mind or taking frequent trips to the bathroom or into another room at social gatherings because social situations sometimes get to me." — Kelci F.

12. “Saying I'm tired or don't feel good… they don't realize how much depression can affect you physically as well as emotionally." — Lauren G.

a woman looks through blinds

more at instagram @joshrh19

Photo by Joshua Rawson-Harris on Unsplash

13. “Answering slowly. It makes my brain run slower, and I can't think of the answers to the questions as quickly. Especially when someone is asking what I want to do — I don't really want anything. I isolate myself so I don't have to be forced into a situation where I have to respond because it's exhausting." — Erin W.

14. “Sometimes I'll forget to eat all day. I can feel my stomach growling but don't have the willpower to get up and make something to eat." — Kenzi I.

15. “I don't talk much in large groups of people, especially when I first meet them. I withdraw because of my anxiety and depression. People think I'm 'stuck up.' I'm actually scared out of my mind worrying they don't like me, or that they think I'm 'crazy' by just looking at me…" — Hanni W.

16. “Not keeping in touch with anyone, bad personal hygiene and extremely bad reactions to seemingly trivial things." — Jenny B.

17. “Being angry, mean or rude to people I love without realizing it in the moment. I realize my actions and words later and feel awful I had taken out my anger on people who don't deserve it." — Christie C.

18. “Purposely working on the holidays so I can avoid spending time with family. It's overwhelming to be around them and to talk about the future and life so I avoid it." — Aislinn G.

19. “My house is a huge mess." — Cynthia H.

20. “I volunteer for everything, from going to PTO meetings to babysitting to cleaning someone else's house for them. I surround myself with situations and obligations that force me to get out of bed and get out of the house because if I'm not needed, I won't be wanted." — Carleigh W.

If you're struggling with depression, check out these resources. You aren't alone.


This story was originally published on The Mighty and was posted seven years ago.

Mental Health

Viral post thoughtfully reexamines Kerri Strug's iconic broken ankle vault at 1996 Olympics

"Yesterday I was excited to show my daughters Kerri Strug's famous one-leg vault...But for some reason I wasn't as inspired watching it this time. In fact, I felt a little sick."

Simone Biles withdrawing from the team final in the Tokyo Olympics and subsequently withdrawing from the individual all-around finals after getting a case of the "twisties" has the world talking. She's received overwhelming support as well as overwhelming criticism for the move, with some praising her for recognizing her limits and others blasting her for not persevering through whatever she's dealing with.

Some people pointed to Kerri Strug, who landed on one foot after vaulting with a broken ankle in the 1996 Olympics to help the U.S. win gold, as an example of the kind of sacrifice an athlete should be willing to make for their country.

Byron Heath shared some thoughts about that fateful day in a viral Facebook post that has been shared more than 370,000 times in less than a day.

Heath wrote:

"This realization I had about Simone Biles is gonna make some people mad, but oh well.

Yesterday I was excited to show my daughters Kerri Strug's famous one-leg vault. It was a defining Olympic moment that I watched live as a kid, and my girls watched raptly as Strug fell, and then limped back to leap again.

But for some reason I wasn't as inspired watching it this time. In fact, I felt a little sick. Maybe being a father and teacher has made me soft, but all I could see was how Kerri Strug looked at her coach, Bela Karolyi, with pleading, terrified eyes, while he shouted back 'You can do it!' over and over again.

My daughters didn't cheer when Strug landed her second vault. Instead they frowned in concern as she collapsed in agony and frantic tears.

'Why did she jump again if she was hurt?' one of my girls asked. I made some inane reply about the heart of a champion or Olympic spirit, but in the back of my mind a thought was festering: *She shouldn't have jumped again*

The more the thought echoed, the stronger my realization became. Coach Karolyi should have gotten his visibly injured athlete medical help immediately! Now that I have two young daughters in gymnastics, I expect their safety to be the coach's number one priority. Instead, Bela Karolyi told Strug to vault again. And he got what he wanted; a gold medal that was more important to him than his athlete's health. I'm sure people will say 'Kerri Strug was a competitor--she WANTED to push through the injury.' That's probably true. But since the last Olympics we've also learned these athletes were put into positions where they could be systematically abused both emotionally and physically, all while being inundated with 'win at all costs' messaging. A teenager under those conditions should have been protected, and told 'No medal is worth the risk of permanent injury.' In fact, we now know that Strug's vault wasn't even necessary to clinch the gold; the U.S. already had an insurmountable lead.

Nevertheless, Bela Karolyi told her to vault again according to his own recounting of their conversation:

'I can't feel my leg,' Strug told Karolyi.

'We got to go one more time,' Karolyi said. 'Shake it out.'

'Do I have to do this again?' Strug asked. 'Can you, can you?' Karolyi wanted to know.

'I don't know yet,' said Strug. 'I will do it. I will, I will.'

The injury forced Strug's retirement at 18 years old. Dominique Moceanu, a generational talent, also retired from injuries shortly after. They were top gymnasts literally pushed to the breaking point, and then put out to pasture. Coach Karolyi and Larry Nassar (the serial sexual abuser) continued their long careers, while the athletes were treated as a disposable resource.

Today Simone Biles--the greatest gymnast of all time--chose to step back from the competition, citing concerns for mental and physical health. I've already seen comments and posts about how Biles 'failed her country', 'quit on us', or 'can't be the greatest if she can't handle the pressure.' Those statements are no different than Coach Karolyi telling an injured teen with wide, frightened eyes: 'We got to go one more time. Shake it out.'

The subtext here is: 'Our gold medal is more important than your well-being.'

Our athletes shouldn't have to destroy themselves to meet our standards. If giving empathetic, authentic support to our Olympians means we'll earn less gold medals, I'm happy to make that trade.

Here's the message I hope we can send to Simone Biles: You are an outstanding athlete, a true role model, and a powerful woman. Nothing will change that. Please don't sacrifice your emotional or physical well-being for our entertainment or national pride. We are proud of you for being brave enough to compete, and proud of you for having the wisdom to know when to step back. Your choice makes you an even better example to our daughters than you were before. WE'RE STILL ROOTING FOR YOU!"

Many people shared Heath's sentiment, with comments pouring in thanking him for putting words to what they were feeling.

We're in a new era where our lens of what's admirable, what's strong, and what's right has shifted. We understand more about the lifelong impact of too many concussions. We have trainers and medics checking on football players after big hits. We are finding a better balance between competitiveness and well-being. We are acknowledging the importance of mental health and physical health.

We are also more aware of how both physical and mental trauma impacts young bodies. Though Kerri Strug pushing through the pain has long been seen as an iconic moment in sports, the adults in the room should have been protecting her, not pushing her through an obvious injury.

And the way this fall of Dominique Moceanu at age 14 was handled is downright shocking by today's standards. She said she never received an exam for it, even after the competition was over. So wrong.

Athletes are not cogs in a wheel, and the desire to win a competition should not trump someone's well-being. Elite gymnasts already put themselves through grueling physical and mental feats; they wouldn't be at the top of their sport if they didn't. But there are limits, and too often in our yearning for a gold medal—or even for a triumphant Olympic story—we push athletes too far.

Now we see some of them pushing back, and knowing what we know now, that's 100% a good thing.


This article originally appeared 3 years ago.

Some things the pandemic shutdowns gave us have stuck.

When we think about what life was like in 2020…well, most of us don't really want to think about that, do we? The COVID-19 pandemic turned our lives upside down and tossed us into uncharted waters as the world learned in real-time what a highly contagious outbreak of a potentially deadly virus meant for our sense of normalcy.

When we were asked to observe social distancing, many of us spent a lot of time at home with a lot of extra time on our hands. It was hard, but it was also a reset of sorts—an opportunity to take stock of our personal habits and make changes we may have been to busy or distracted or unmotivated to make. Some people took that opportunity and ran with it, establishing new habits of body and mind that they've managed to maintain since.

Someone on Reddit asked, "What’s a habit you picked up during quarantine that you still maintain?" and the responses are a celebration of the positive things that came out of the pandemic and proof that change is possible.


Here were some of the most motivational responses:

Getting in shape

"I picked up running as a hobby/acceptable excuse to leave the house. I’ve since lost fifty pounds and am now training for a half marathon. So, there’s that."

woman running outsideLots of people started exercise routines during the pandemic.Photo credit: Canva

"I'm in the same boat, I took up weightlifting during the pandemic, lost 30kgs (66lbs) and gained a new healthy habit."

"I picked up Disc Golf for my outdoor hobby during COVID. Been playing every weekend ever since. Feel so much better!"

"So this is pretty lame but, for most of my life (starting in probably middle school) I always carried my wallet in my right hand back pocket. I was so used to sitting on it that it became almost comforting. Didn’t really need my wallet for months on end during Covid and was probably wearing sweats with no back pocket when I did need it. I can’t stand having my wallet in my back pocket now so I’m a front pocket wallet guy now."

A healthy work-life balance

"I’m sure I’m not the only one, but my work/life balance was forcefully re-prioritized in the best way, and I don’t think I’ll ever give an actual fuck about a job or money ever again. I mean I care to the extent that I want to try and do good work, and obviously I care about money to the extent that my bills need paid, but I realized there are plenty of jobs out there and plenty of time to advance my career. I only have one family though, and my kids are kids for a very finite amount of time.

I’ll never again skip a family outing for an extra shift, nor stay late because 'this really needs done'” Nah man, it’s 5 pm and that can be tomorrow’s problem; I’m late for home."

"The way I see it, nobody i work with will remember or care if I work late every day. But my family will."

"This was a big one for me. Life exists outside the office. When reflecting on one's life, no one says "I wish I had spent more time at work." I go hard at work so I can be lazy at home."

Embracing the work-from-home wardrobe

"Having a wardrobe of nice 'work pyjamas.' 😂"

"I call it 'business sloppy.' Button up shirt. Track pants."

man in shirt and tie with pajama pantsThree cheers for business sloppy.Photo credit: Canva

"They make dress pants out of sweatpants materials now. Also there’s very little difference between my elastic waist linen dress pants and my flannel pajamas. I threw out all of my old work pants."

"The term 'Dayjamas' has stuck with me hard, especially since I now work remote."

"Fully this. Before covid I would come to the office in nice dresses, skirts, pants, maybe even a button down or a polo. My hair and makeup would be done and I’d be accessorizing, etc. After we came back to the office post covid they were lucky if the unwashed black leggings I wore didn’t have holes in them."

"I now own more leggings and sports bras than everrrr. 😊 And leggings go with everything. Right? It took me a really long time to put real pants on. I hate real pants now."

"Comfy bras only."

Learning new things

"I was a bit late to discover all the things my smartphone could do. During the pandemic, I was mentally unwell, nuff said, and I was on my phone for days on end, searching for games, and payday loans and other crap.

I came across Duolingo, and as I had always wanted to learn French, I started, and got my daily dopamine hits. I got up to 664 days, past my illness too, but then took about 10 months of casual learning before picking up the daily streak again, and now I am 347 days on my second attempt at a lengthy streak, and I'm starting a Diploma of Modern Languages - French in 2.5 weeks."

french program on computerSome people started learning another language.Photo credit: Canva

"Learning German on Duolingo. Now I have 1700 days without pause 😎"

"I picked up cooking new recipes, which has become a fun and creative outlet that I still enjoy."

Good hand hygiene

"Wash my hands more often."

"I’ve washed my hands so much that I uncovered nightclub stamps from the 90’s."

"Hand sanitizer in the car at all times. Particularly after activities like pumping gas and grocery shopping."

"Yes I always washed my hands before eating and all that but now I also wash as soon as I get home. Seems kind of the equivalent of taking your shoes off when you get home."

someone washing their handsWe're all better hand washers now, hopefully.Photo credit: Canva

"I used to be the 'germs have never hurt me yet' guy who'd share straws and drinks and let you spit on me if you asked nicely enough or it would be funny for a bit. Then covid happened and I found out just how bad most people actually are, I couldn't believe the backlash we got from telling people to wash their hands and since then, unless you're family you're staying at a distance."

Letting go of FOMO

"I get like zero FOMO ever now."

"JOMO. Joy Of Missing Out."

"Avoiding large crowds, and people in general."

"Saying no to social engagements I don't want to attend."

"Too true. Before Covid I attended every wedding my friends/family invited me to, afterwards…nah I’m good."

Odd little permanent changes like this guy's wallet placement shift

man putting wallet in front pocketFront pocket is better for your back.Photo credit: Canva

"So this is pretty lame but, for most of my life (starting in probably middle school) I always carried my wallet in my right hand back pocket. I was so used to sitting on it that it became almost comforting. Didn’t really need my wallet for months on end during Covid and was probably wearing sweats with no back pocket when I did need it. I can’t stand having my wallet in my back pocket now so I’m a front pocket wallet guy now."

A surprising number of people related to that one—keeping your wallet in your back pocket can put undue stress on the spine over time and makes it easier to be pickpocketed. Little things like this can make a big difference.

Not all of the responses were positive, of course. Some people picked up some unhealthy habits, too. But the pandemic pause gave us a disruption that enabled big shifts in behavior or habit, which many people are still benefiting from. While we definitely wouldn't wish to go through all of that again, it's nice to know that some good came out of it.