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Viral post thoughtfully reexamines Kerri Strug's iconic broken ankle vault at 1996 Olympics

"Yesterday I was excited to show my daughters Kerri Strug's famous one-leg vault...But for some reason I wasn't as inspired watching it this time. In fact, I felt a little sick."

Viral post thoughtfully reexamines Kerri Strug's iconic broken ankle vault at 1996 Olympics
Byron Heath/Facebook

Simone Biles withdrawing from the team final in the Tokyo Olympics and subsequently withdrawing from the individual all-around finals after getting a case of the "twisties" has the world talking. She's received overwhelming support as well as overwhelming criticism for the move, with some praising her for recognizing her limits and others blasting her for not persevering through whatever she's dealing with.

Some people pointed to Kerri Strug, who landed on one foot after vaulting with a broken ankle in the 1996 Olympics to help the U.S. win gold, as an example of the kind of sacrifice an athlete should be willing to make for their country.

Byron Heath shared some thoughts about that fateful day in a viral Facebook post that has been shared more than 370,000 times in less than a day.

Heath wrote:

"This realization I had about Simone Biles is gonna make some people mad, but oh well.

Yesterday I was excited to show my daughters Kerri Strug's famous one-leg vault. It was a defining Olympic moment that I watched live as a kid, and my girls watched raptly as Strug fell, and then limped back to leap again.

But for some reason I wasn't as inspired watching it this time. In fact, I felt a little sick. Maybe being a father and teacher has made me soft, but all I could see was how Kerri Strug looked at her coach, Bela Karolyi, with pleading, terrified eyes, while he shouted back 'You can do it!' over and over again.

My daughters didn't cheer when Strug landed her second vault. Instead they frowned in concern as she collapsed in agony and frantic tears.

'Why did she jump again if she was hurt?' one of my girls asked. I made some inane reply about the heart of a champion or Olympic spirit, but in the back of my mind a thought was festering: *She shouldn't have jumped again*

The more the thought echoed, the stronger my realization became. Coach Karolyi should have gotten his visibly injured athlete medical help immediately! Now that I have two young daughters in gymnastics, I expect their safety to be the coach's number one priority. Instead, Bela Karolyi told Strug to vault again. And he got what he wanted; a gold medal that was more important to him than his athlete's health. I'm sure people will say 'Kerri Strug was a competitor--she WANTED to push through the injury.' That's probably true. But since the last Olympics we've also learned these athletes were put into positions where they could be systematically abused both emotionally and physically, all while being inundated with 'win at all costs' messaging. A teenager under those conditions should have been protected, and told 'No medal is worth the risk of permanent injury.' In fact, we now know that Strug's vault wasn't even necessary to clinch the gold; the U.S. already had an insurmountable lead.

Nevertheless, Bela Karolyi told her to vault again according to his own recounting of their conversation:

'I can't feel my leg,' Strug told Karolyi.

'We got to go one more time,' Karolyi said. 'Shake it out.'

'Do I have to do this again?' Strug asked. 'Can you, can you?' Karolyi wanted to know.

'I don't know yet,' said Strug. 'I will do it. I will, I will.'

The injury forced Strug's retirement at 18 years old. Dominique Moceanu, a generational talent, also retired from injuries shortly after. They were top gymnasts literally pushed to the breaking point, and then put out to pasture. Coach Karolyi and Larry Nassar (the serial sexual abuser) continued their long careers, while the athletes were treated as a disposable resource.

Today Simone Biles--the greatest gymnast of all time--chose to step back from the competition, citing concerns for mental and physical health. I've already seen comments and posts about how Biles 'failed her country', 'quit on us', or 'can't be the greatest if she can't handle the pressure.' Those statements are no different than Coach Karolyi telling an injured teen with wide, frightened eyes: 'We got to go one more time. Shake it out.'

The subtext here is: 'Our gold medal is more important than your well-being.'

Our athletes shouldn't have to destroy themselves to meet our standards. If giving empathetic, authentic support to our Olympians means we'll earn less gold medals, I'm happy to make that trade.

Here's the message I hope we can send to Simone Biles: You are an outstanding athlete, a true role model, and a powerful woman. Nothing will change that. Please don't sacrifice your emotional or physical well-being for our entertainment or national pride. We are proud of you for being brave enough to compete, and proud of you for having the wisdom to know when to step back. Your choice makes you an even better example to our daughters than you were before. WE'RE STILL ROOTING FOR YOU!"

Many people shared Heath's sentiment, with comments pouring in thanking him for putting words to what they were feeling.

We're in a new era where our lens of what's admirable, what's strong, and what's right has shifted. We understand more about the lifelong impact of too many concussions. We have trainers and medics checking on football players after big hits. We are finding a better balance between competitiveness and well-being. We are acknowledging the importance of mental health and physical health.

We are also more aware of how both physical and mental trauma impacts young bodies. Though Kerri Strug pushing through the pain has long been seen as an iconic moment in sports, the adults in the room should have been protecting her, not pushing her through an obvious injury.

And the way this fall of Dominique Moceanu at age 14 was handled is downright shocking by today's standards. She said she never received an exam for it, even after the competition was over. So wrong.

Athletes are not cogs in a wheel, and the desire to win a competition should not trump someone's well-being. Elite gymnasts already put themselves through grueling physical and mental feats; they wouldn't be at the top of their sport if they didn't. But there are limits, and too often in our yearning for a gold medal—or even for a triumphant Olympic story—we push athletes too far.

Now we see some of them pushing back, and knowing what we know now, that's 100% a good thing.


This article originally appeared 3 years ago.

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Modern Families

Once a refugee seeking safety in the U.S., Anita Omary is using what she learned to help others thrive.

Even in divided times, small acts of friendship help create vibrant communities where everyone feels safe.

Once a refugee seeking safety in the U.S., Anita Omary is using what she learned to help others thrive.
Pictured here: Anita Omary; her son, Osman; and Omary’s close friends
Pictured here: Anita Omary; her son, Osman; and Omary’s close friends
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In March 2023, after months of preparation and paperwork, Anita Omary arrived in the United States from her native Afghanistan to build a better life. Once she arrived in Connecticut, however, the experience was anything but easy.

“When I first arrived, everything felt so strange—the weather, the environment, the people,” Omary recalled. Omary had not only left behind her extended family and friends in Afghanistan, she left her career managing child protective cases and supporting refugee communities behind as well. Even more challenging, Anita was five months pregnant at the time, and because her husband was unable to obtain a travel visa, she found herself having to navigate a new language, a different culture, and an unfamiliar country entirely on her own.

“I went through a period of deep disappointment and depression, where I wasn’t able to do much for myself,” Omary said.

Then something incredible happened: Omary met a woman who would become her close friend, offering support that would change her experience as a refugee—and ultimately the trajectory of her entire life.

Understanding the journey

Like Anita Omary, tens of thousands of people come to the United States each year seeking safety from war, political violence, religious persecution, and other threats. Yet escaping danger, unfortunately, is only the first challenge. Once here, immigrant and refugee families must deal with the loss of displacement, while at the same time facing language barriers, adapting to a new culture, and sometimes even facing social stigma and anti-immigrant biases.

Welcoming immigrant and refugee neighbors strengthens the nation and benefits everyone—and according to Anita Omary, small, simple acts of human kindness can make the greatest difference in helping them feel safe, valued, and truly at home.

A warm welcome

Dee and Omary's son, Osman

Anita Omary was receiving prenatal checkups at a woman’s health center in West Haven when she met Dee, a nurse.

“She immediately recognized that I was new, and that I was struggling,” Omary said. “From that moment on, she became my support system.”

Dee started checking in on Omary throughout her pregnancy, both inside the clinic and out.

“She would call me and ask am I okay, am I eating, am I healthy,” Omary said. “She helped me with things I didn’t even realize I needed, like getting an air conditioner for my small, hot room.”

Soon, Dee was helping Omary apply for jobs and taking her on driving lessons every weekend. With her help, Omary landed a job, passed her road test on the first attempt, and even enrolled at the University of New Haven to pursue her master’s degree. Dee and Omary became like family. After Omary’s son, Osman, was born, Dee spent five days in the hospital at her side, bringing her halal food and brushing her hair in the same way Omary’s mother used to. When Omary’s postpartum pain became too great for her to lift Osman’s car seat, Dee accompanied her to his doctor’s appointments and carried the baby for her.

“Her support truly changed my life,” Omary said. “Her motivation, compassion, and support gave me hope. It gave me a sense of stability and confidence. I didn’t feel alone, because of her.”

More than that, the experience gave Omary a new resolve to help other people.

“That experience has deeply shaped the way I give back,” she said. “I want to be that source of encouragement and support for others that my friend was for me.”

Extending the welcome

Omary and Dee at the Martin Luther King, Jr. Vision Awards ceremony at the University of New Haven.

Omary is now flourishing. She currently works as a career development specialist as she continues her Master’s degree. She also, as a member of the Refugee Storytellers Collective, helps advocate for refugee and immigrant families by connecting them with resources—and teaches local communities how to best welcome newcomers.

“Welcoming new families today has many challenges,” Omary said. “One major barrier is access to English classes. Many newcomers, especially those who have just arrived, often put their names on long wait lists and for months there are no available spots.” For women with children, the lack of available childcare makes attending English classes, or working outside the home, especially difficult.

Omary stresses that sometimes small, everyday acts of kindness can make the biggest difference to immigrant and refugee families.

“Welcome is not about big gestures, but about small, consistent acts of care that remind you that you belong,” Omary said. Receiving a compliment on her dress or her son from a stranger in the grocery store was incredibly uplifting during her early days as a newcomer, and Omary remembers how even the smallest gestures of kindness gave her hope that she could thrive and build a new life here.

“I built my new life, but I didn’t do it alone,” Omary said. “Community and kindness were my greatest strengths.”

Are you in? Click here to join the Refugee Advocacy Lab and sign the #WeWillWelcome pledge and complete one small act of welcome in your community. Together, with small, meaningful steps, we can build communities where everyone feels safe.

This article is part of Upworthy’s “The Threads Between U.S.” series that highlights what we have in common thanks to the generous support from the Levi Strauss Foundation, whose grantmaking is committed to creating a culture of belonging.

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Family

Mom explains the 'dishonest' Boomer parenting style that hurts adults to this day

“How did I not hear about dishonest harmony until now? This describes my family dynamic to a T."

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Photo by Monstera Production

“What they want is dishonest harmony rather than honest conflict.”

There are certainly many things the Boomer parents generally did right when raising their kids. Teaching them the importance of manners and respect. That actions do, in fact, have consequences. That a little manners go a long way…all of these things are truly good values to instill in kids.

But, and we are speaking in broad strokes here, being able to openly discuss difficult feelings was not one of the skills passed down by this generation. And many Gen X and Millennial kids can sadly attest to this. This is why the term “dishonest harmony” is giving many folks of this age group some relief. They finally have a term to describe the lack of emotional validation they needed throughout childhood to save face.

Psychologists define the "dishonest harmony" approach as maintaining a façade of peace and harmony at the expense of addressing underlying issues. Parents who practice disharmony prioritize appearance over authenticity and are known to avoid conflict and sweep problems under the rug.

In a video posted to TikTok, a woman named Angela Baker begins by saying, “Fellow Gen X and Millennials, let's talk about our parents and their need for dishonest harmony.”

@parkrosepermaculture

Replying to @Joe Namath #boomerparents #toxicparent #harmony #genx #millennial #badparenting #conflict #nocontact

Barker, who thankfully did not experience this phenomenon growing up, but says her husband “certainly” did, shared that when she’s tried to discuss this topic, the typical response she’d get from Boomers would be to “Stop talking about it. We don't need to hear about it. Move on. Be quiet.” And it’s this attitude that’s at the core of dishonest harmony.

What the experts say about 'dishonest harmony'

"Research supports what many therapists witness daily: families that avoid conflict tend to experience higher levels of anxiety, depression, and relational dissatisfaction," writes Dr. Rachel White, LMFT, at Restoration Psychological Services. "According to the American Association for Marriage and Family Therapy (AAMFT), families who suppress conflict are more likely to develop covert communication patterns, where body language and tone carry more weight than actual words. This leads to confusion, emotional misattunement, and a cycle of disconnection.

How 'dishonest harmony' works in families

“What that’s showing is their lack of ability to handle the distress that they feel when we talk openly about uncomfortable things,” she says. “What they want is dishonest harmony rather than honest conflict. Keep quiet about these hard issues. Suppress your pain, suppress your trauma. Definitely don't talk openly about it so that you can learn to heal and break the cycle,” she continues. “What matters most is that we have the appearance of harmony, even if there's nothing harmonious under the surface.”

baby boomers, boomer parents, boomer couple, couple 60s, grandparents, A Baby Boomer couple.via Canva/Photos


Barker concludes that this need to maintain a certain facade led to most of the toxic parenting choices of that period. “The desire of Boomer parents to have this perception that everything was sweet and hunky dory, rather than prioritizing the needs of their kids, is what drove a lot of the toxic parenting we experienced.”

Barker’s video made others feel seen

“How did I not hear about dishonest harmony until now? This describes my family dynamic to a T. And if you disrespect that illusion, you are automatically labeled as the problem. It’s frustrating,” one person wrote in the comments.

“THANK YOU SO MUCH! I'm a 49 yo biker sitting in my bedroom crying right now. You just put a name to my darkness!” added another.

baby boomers, boomer parents, boomer couple, couple 60s, grandparents, A Baby Boomer couple.via Canva/Photos


Many shared how they were refusing to repeat the cycle

One wrote, “This is EXACTLY my family dynamic. I’m the problem because I won’t remain quiet. Not anymore. Not again.”

“I love when my kids tell me what I did wrong. It gives me a chance to acknowledge and apologize. Everyone wants to be heard,” said another.

Of course, no parenting style is perfect. And all parents are working with the current ideals of the time, their own inner programming, and their inherent need to course-correct child-rearing problems of the previous generation. Gen Alpha parents will probably cringe at certain parenting styles currently considered in vogue. It’s all part of the process.

But hopefully, one thing we have learned as a collective is that true change happens when we summon the courage to have difficult conversations.

This article originally appeared last year. It has since been updated.

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Joy

Happiness researcher reveals the 'enduring' secret to being happy in the second half of life

It goes against what Mother Nature may be telling you.

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via Gage Skidmore/Wikimedia Commons

Arthur Brooks speaking.

Happiness researcher Dr. Arthur Brooks says that one of the most important things people can do as they enter the second half of their life is to focus on internal well-being rather than satisfying all of their wants. Even though this may feel like it runs counter to how many live the first half of their lives, he says it's the best way to find joy in middle age and beyond.

Brooks is a professor at Harvard University, author of From Strength to Strength and Build the Life You Want (with Oprah Winfrey), and is a lifelong student of the science of happiness. He says the key to finding it in the second half of life is recognizing when enough is enough and reducing unnecessary desires.

“What happy, successful people do in the second half of their lives is they go from adding to subtracting," Brooks says. "Mother Nature tells you that satisfaction comes from having more. More of what? More money, more power, more pleasure, more honor, more everything. More. But that's not the secret. The real formula for happiness is all the things that you have divided by the things that you want.”

@evancarmichael

The Real Formula of Happiness Speaker: Dr. Arthur Brooks Source: Dr. Arthur Brooks #motivationalquotes #motivation #inspirational #happiness #arthurbrooks

For Brooks, finding happiness later in life is an inside job: we analyze our desires and decide which ones we can cast aside. It’s a worthwhile practice, given that as we age, our ability to achieve many of our desires is compromised by the aging process.

“There's two ways for you to get greater satisfaction," Brooks continues. "There's the old, inefficient way of have more, have more, have more. Or there's the efficient, enduring way of wanting less."

How to manage your wants, according to Brooks

It's easy to tell people to manage their desires, but how do they come up with a strategy for doing so successfully? He says one way is to audit your desires by putting them to a simple litmus test.

“One helpful exercise is to list your major goals and ask: Would this still matter to me if no one else knew I achieved it? If the answer is no, it may not be a goal rooted in meaning,” he writes on LinkedIn.

Brooks also believes that we can simplify our lives by redefining what it means to be a success.

“In research on midlife satisfaction, those who reoriented their ambition from status to service, especially men, reported higher purpose and deeper relationships over time,” he adds.

- YouTube www.youtube.com

Another meaningful way we can find greater happiness is by setting some of our wants aside and being grateful for what we have. Because if you aren't grateful for the positives you have in life, they will never stick to your bones or be truly nourishing.

“Practice gratitude for what you have," Daniel Levitin, professor emeritus of psychology and neuroscience at McGill University, writes in Successful Aging. "This is motivating, alters brain chemistry toward more positive emotions, and oils the pleasure circuits of the brain."

There’s something graceful about accepting a new challenge in life as we get older: learning to have the internal strength to set aside what we truly don't need and to nurture what we do, such as our relationships, friends, and community. Brooks' perspective is a valuable tool that will keep many from being led astray as they age by chasing things they no longer need.

This article originally appeared last year

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Education

Real people share 17 red flags that expose someone trying to appear wiser than they actually are

"Actually referring to oneself as 'smart' in general is often a good indicator too."

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Photo credit: Canva

A man looks confused.

People who struggle with intellectual functioning, often described as having a low IQ, may also be considered to have low intelligence. Determining low intelligence is not always easy or obvious, so people on Reddit shared their thoughts on the signs that can indicate it.

One observant Redditor shared their insight, writing that a sign of low intelligence is "actually referring to oneself as 'smart' in general is often a good indicator too." The comment is an example of the Dunning–Kruger effect, first described in 1999 by psychologists David Dunning and Justin Kruger, which found that people with lower IQs tend to overestimate their intelligence, while those with higher IQs often underestimate it.

"Those with limited knowledge in a domain suffer a dual burden: Not only do they reach mistaken conclusions and make regrettable errors, but their incompetence robs them of the ability to realize it," the psychologists wrote, according to Psychology Today.

- YouTube www.youtube.com

17 signs of low intelligence, according to Redditors

"When presented with an statement that generalizes something, they will use an anecdote as a counterexample and think that it completely refutes the statement. Example: travelling in an airplane is generally safer than in a car. 'Actually that's not true, I know someone who died in an airplane crash.'" - Traditional_Rub_9828

"Refusal to learn, grow and change your views from evidence provided." - Userdataunavailable

"Confusing 'being loud' with 'being right.' The loudest person in the room is rarely the smartest." - Kernel_Slasher

"Actually referring to oneself as 'smart' in a general is often a good indicator too." - loku_gem

"Believing anything they see on social media." - Fabulous_Ady

"Lack of curiosity. Thinking they know it all." - Disastrous-Sky-8484

- YouTube www.youtube.com

"Further than a lack of curiosity is never asking questions. It was something I heard about gorilla researchers who taught them sign language that in the years of gorilla sign language communications they never had a gorilla ask a question of a human. That simple process of recognizing you don't know/have something you want, understanding someone else likely does know what you want, and asking them actually takes a lot of brain power. Some parrots and exceptionally smart dogs can hit that threshold... And some very cognitively limited humans do not." - MildGenevaSuggestion

"They get annoyed by people who act curious, too. About anything. 'Why do you care?' 'Who cares?' Idk man, it's just interesting. Why shouldn't I care?" - Belle_Juive

"Not realizing that everything has nuances." - SecretHuckleberry720

"Refusing to consider they might be wrong." - Marry_Ennaria

"Not being able to understand or engage with hypotheticals. It is a meme online but that is actually a sign of low intelligence. Individuals with IQs under 90 often struggle with conditional hypotheticals—such as 'How would you feel if you hadn't eaten dinner?'—responding with factual rebuttals like 'But I did eat dinner.'" - Emergency-Resist-730

@baxate_carter

Even more low IQ traits from a year ago

"Severe impairment in metacognition - that is, a persistent inability to recognize one's own errors in thinking, monitor one's own reasoning, or adjust beliefs/behavior even when presented with clear contradictory evidence." - DiamondCalvesFan

"Ironically, Always having an answer. There is a lot of power in saying 'I don't know'." - Loose-Cicada5473, mattacular2001

"People who mock others instead of trying to understand them. Curiosity is usually a sign of intelligence." - cutiepie_00me

"Repeating the same mistakes and blaming everyone else." - Luckypiniece

"Bragging that you haven't read a book since high school." - tiger0204

"One move chess player. This is like an analogy to how some people think and act and vote. A good chess player is thinking 3 or more moves ahead. a bad one is playing one move ahead only. When people say things like 'Why should I pay school taxes if I don't have any kids!?' they are playing one move without thinking ahead. Better schools means a more educated populace means less crimes and more economic opportunity for your area, thus it benefits everyone whether they have kids or not." - ChickenMarsala4500

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Frugal people say you don't need to be rich to buy these 15 life-simplifying 'luxuries'

Proof that you don't need to spend a fortune to afford peace and joy in your day-to-day.

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Photo credit: Canva

A couple happy with their splurge on a cleaning service.

Being frugal isn’t about deprivation—it’s about living intentionally. Meaning you spend less on what drains you, and more on what gives you back time, peace, or comfort. That also means that sometimes throwing down a liiiiiiittle bit of moolah here and there to invest in a higher quality of life isn’t seen as a frivolous move, but a truly wise one.

That’s certainly a philosophy plenty of money-savvy Redditors seem to share. Across dozens of threads, people who pride themselves on being budget-conscious swapped stories about the little upgrades that made their life run more smoothly—time-saving robots, procedures that added convenience, mattresses that heal more than they cost, and more.

When you read through enough of these threads, a pattern emerges. The most “worth it” purchases bring more peace and joy to the day-to-day in some way, and they need not be super fancy to achieve that.

So, what are these life-changing splurges that even the most frugal swear by? Here are the simple, sanity-saving luxuries these folks say pay dividends.

Roombas, or robot vacuums in general

frugal, frugal tips, frugal living, frugality, money, saving money, reddit, investments, quality of life A robot vaccuum. Photo credit: Canva

It’s like hiring a tiny, tireless butler who never complains. You come home to clean floors without lifting a finger…or a broom, for that matter. What’s not to like?

Fun fact: According to an article from Ecovacs, robot vacuums might be a more “effective” and “healthier option” than traditional dusting, since they stir up less dust.

Automatic pet feeders and litter boxes

frugal, frugal tips, frugal living, frugality, money, saving money, reddit, investments, quality of life A kitty using a self-cleaning litter box. Photo credit: Canva

No more 6 a.m. guilt trips from hungry cats or late-night scooping marathons. Automation means your pets stay fed and happy while you reclaim a few precious minutes, sans any unsavory smells.

As some people noted, self cleaning litters boxes can be especially helpful for pet owners who might suffer from depression and have trouble maintaining routines.

LASIK surgery

frugal, frugal tips, frugal living, frugality, money, saving money, reddit, investments, quality of life A woman getting LASIK. Photo credit: Canva

Listen, it’s great that glasses have broken through stigma to become a chic fashion accessory, but are still so annoying to need at all times. With LASIK, the luxury comes in simply being able to wake up and see the world without having to clumsily hunt for those specs. It’s like the ultimate set-it-and-forget-it upgrade for your eyes.

Did you know?—over 90% of LASIK patients achieve 20/20 vision or better after surgery, per the American Refractive Surgery Council.

A dishwasher

frugal, frugal tips, frugal living, frugality, money, saving money, reddit, investments, quality of life A loaded dishwasher. Photo credit: Canva

Because no one has ever said, “I wish I spent more time scrubbing plates.” A great dishwasher saves time, water, and (most importantly) your will to live after dinner.

“I never had one growing up, and rented a bunch of apartments afterwards that didn't have one. I bought my first apartment 3 years ago and made sure to have one installed, and it was life changing. No more toiling over the sink for almost an hour every evening, and no more eczema on my hands and ruined nails.”

“The great thing about dishwashers is the simplicity of the routine for me. Empty it as the kettle boils in the morning. Rinse dirty dishes and stack them in as you go. Put it on when it's full. Repeat as needed. No more dishes on the bench 😇”

A quality mattress

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We all know how important it is to get a good night’s sleep. According to the Sleep Foundation, quality sleep is the major key to our focus, immunity, and mood throughout the day.

Conversely, if you've ever woken up with a stiff back or neck (read: if you’ve over 32) you know that your mattress can make or break that much needed reset. So many people who have finally invested in a top notch mattress can attest to this.

“Being able to elevate my feet and head without juggling to organize a bunch of pillows feels like the epitome of luxury.”

And of course, there are money-savvy ways to make this big purchase.

“I'm glad I opted to put the purchase on my credit card, even though I paid it off right away with savings budgeted for the big spend. The store would have given me 0% interest, but since I didn't carry the balance, I didn't pay any interest, anyway, and my card basically paid me with a kickback/cashback.”

A bidet

frugal, frugal tips, frugal living, frugality, money, saving money, reddit, investments, quality of life A bidet. Photo credit: Canva

Once you try it, you understand. It’s cleaner, greener, and oddly life-affirming. You’ll save money on toilet paper and feel like you’re living in the future. A win-win.

Another stat: Americans use 34 million rolls of toilet paper daily. Bidets can cut that by up to 75%.

Tools

frugal, frugal tips, frugal living, frugality, money, saving money, reddit, investments, quality of life A man using a power drill. Photo credit: Canva

Whether it’s a power drill or a solid wrench set, the right tools turn frustrating chores into five-minute fixes. Plus, you get the earned confidence in your own self-sufficiency.

“Having the right tools to repair, modify, improve, or build something can vastly simplify automotive and home maintenance. It can also be cheaper to buy the tools once than it is to pay someone to perform the maintenance regularly. Especially the battery powered ones.”

An electric kettle and tea

frugal, frugal tips, frugal living, frugality, money, saving money, reddit, investments, quality of life An electric kettle and tea. Photo credit: Canva

A quiet moment with a cup of tea can reset your day faster than any productivity hack ever could. And harnessing the power of electricity can bring that peace ritual even sooner.

“Drinking tea and even the ritual of preparing it nurtures me and brings me so much peace and clarity. Maybe that sounds goofy, but staying hydrated and getting your antioxidants throughout the day makes life simpler and happier. Wow, I am making myself thirsty. Time for some chamomile.”

A key pad dead bolt

frugal, frugal tips, frugal living, frugality, money, saving money, reddit, investments, quality of life A keypad lock. Photo credit: Canva

No more frantic pocket-patting or key-hunting at the door. Tap a code, and badda bing, badda boom, you’re home. It’s safety, simplicity, and peace of mind, especially for chronic key-losers everywhere.

Air-fryers

frugal, frugal tips, frugal living, frugality, money, saving money, reddit, investments, quality of life An air fryer with freshly made potatoes. Photo credit: Canva

It’s the holy grail of quick, crispy satisfaction; just ask any millennial. Dinner goes from frozen to fantastic in 15 minutes flat, with less mess, less oil, less calories (up to 70–80% less, to be exact) and zero regrets.

An Anker charging brick

frugal, frugal tips, frugal living, frugality, money, saving money, reddit, investments, quality of life A phone charging.Photo credit: Canva

Running out of battery-life in 2025 feels like running out of oxygen, so having one hand “oxygen tank” for all your electronic needs is beyond a luxury, and more of a modern day necessity.

“[I have one] powerful enough to run my laptop and charge devices. It has multiple USB ports. I no longer have to juggle multiple charging bricks or the awkward OEM laptop power supply. It’s noticeably simpler so much that several folks have commented at work when they saw my simplified setup in conference rooms.”

An espresso machine

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Behold, your kitchen is magically transformed into a café—minus the line, tip jar, or misspelled name on the cup. It’s an investment that pays you back in energy and joy. And you get to create your own latte art!

Monthly cleaners

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Sometimes, the most impactful luxury of all is walking into a spotless home you didn’t have to clean yourself. And doing it only once a month helps hinder burnout while still keeping within budget.

“It’s not so often that it feels over-indulgent, but it’s enough to help keep the house truly clean and relieves a lot of stress. Also motivates you to keep tidy, as cleaners clean, they don’t tidy, and they clean better if it’s tidy!"

Laser hair removal

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Less shaving, less irritation, less time. It’s freedom disguised as skincare. Medi-spas seems to agree that, generally speaking, most people see a 50-70% reduction after 3-4 sessions, and 85-95% permanent reduction after 6-8 sessions. Then there’s 5+ years of being "practically hair-free" with minimal need for maintenance.

With this option, maybe I actually could take quick showers like a normal person!

Bluetooth speakers and headphones

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The right soundtrack—be it a playlist, or a podcast—makes everything better, does it not? One study found that students who used headphones while working were more focused, less distracted, and even enjoyed studying more…proof that good sound can help produce good habits.

Bottom line: investing in peace of mind, better sleep, or a cleaner home isn’t frivolous. It’s human. Because when life feels just a little lighter, you have more room to actually live it. Consider this your permission slip to appreciate some of the luxuries you might already have in your life. Or, bank account willing, even purchase something today that adds a little peace of mind.


This article originally appeared last year.

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People share the new subscriptions and fees they refuse to pay before they become normal

There are now "fees to pay my bills."

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An angry customer complains to customer service.

Remember when you bought something, you owned it and, for the most part, only paid once? These days, companies try to extract the most value from their customers by getting them to pay more by tacking on surprise fees or add-ons that function as a subscription.

Remember when you bought software once and, if you wanted to upgrade to the latest version, you paid extra? But if you liked the old version, you kept it and it worked fine? These days, you’re forced to pay a monthly fee to use the software and are forced to pay for the upgrades whether you like them or not.

If you’re allergic to paying additional surprise fees, don’t go to Las Vegas. These days, you’ll get hit with a hefty resort fee upon checkout. Some hotels charge you up to $50 to use the in-room mini-fridge, $60 if you want to check in early, a phone-booking fee, and the most infuriating: a $25 fee to use the silverware with room service. At a time when inflation is hitting people hard, these feel like an insult to injury.

las vegas, nevada, welcome to vegas, vegas sign, hotelsThe Las Vegas strip. via Canva/Photos

People are seriously fed up with being nickel-and-dimed everywhere they turn, so a Redditor asked people to share the subscription fees they've recently encountered that they need to “collectively refuse to pay” so they don’t become normalized. We chose some to be aware of and shared information on how you can avoid paying fees—or at least whittle the number of subscriptions you have to a bare minimum.

1. The online convenience fee

"I wish we could stop 'online convenience fee' when there is essentially no other way to pay."

"They shouldn’t exist anyway because paying online isn’t just more convenient for the customer— it’s more convenient for the company, too! They can cut tons of positions when no one has to open actual mail or enter checks/CC numbers manually."

If you're tired of paying online convenience fees, one way to avoid them is to set up auto-pay with your bank, which often lets you bypass them. You can also pay by check. If you don't want to waste paper by receiving a bill in the mail, you can usually print out a payment stub online and pay it that way.

2. School lunch fees

"Our school required us to use an app to deposit lunch money to our children's school accounts. Each deposit cost a $2.75 'processing fee' to the app itself, paid for by the parent. I started packing lunches."

"Yes! Our school uses this, and in addition, they cap how much you can deposit at a time, which forces you to do multiple deposits and get multiple processing fees. The cap doesn't change if you have multiple kids either, so like every 2 months I have to do a deposit for each kid and pay separate processing fees."

lunch, school lunch, kids eating, lunch lady, cafeteria Kids eating lunch in school. via Canva/Photos

3. Streaming services with ads

"Subscriptions to streaming services that show ads. Big media is getting two bites of the apple."

"Oh, and when you pay extra for ad-free, they stop showing advertisements from outside companies, but they replace them with ads for their own services and programming."

Want to make sure you don't let your subscriptions pile up unnecessarily and avoid a big squeeze on your budget? One Redditor on the thread r/LifeProTips had a great idea: write down all of your monthly subscriptions on Post-it notes and keep them in a place you look every day, like where you put your keys. As the old saying goes, out of sight, out of mind. Seeing what you're paying for each month can help you rethink your spending.

4. A/C repair subscription

"We have a local heating and air conditioning company that’s rated near the best in the business. However, as the wife I found out, their business model is incredibly scummy and we’ve made other people aware of it because it’s predatory. If you call them for a checkup on your furnace or AC they have a normal fee for that… but if you need any type of repairs or anything you have to pay for that repair AND they make you sign up for a monthly fee that allows you to be a customer if you have issues moving forward. If you do not agree to this fee, they won’t fix your unit - regardless of you paying for the parts or not. It was like $45 a month."

5. Subscription fees for car features

"Subscriptions for hardware features your car already has. BMW tried to charge a subscription for heated seats, and now other companies are watching."

"Honestly, they just need to make it a law that if the functionality is present in the finished product, they by law cannot disable it. The reason why auto manufacturers used to charge more for the higher trim packages was because there was more work involved in producing them. But now they've capitalized on economies of scale and figured out a way to just make all the cars identical and selectively turn off features unless you pay shakedown money to the manufacturers."

6. Utility add-ons

"In the city I live in, some teledoc company has convinced them to automatically add a $7 a month charge to the electric/water bill so everyone will have access to their service. It's automatic, so if we don't want it, we have to have the option removed. Most people get their bills electronically and pay automatically and won't even notice the charge. Scammers!"

"My bank started charging a fee of $5 monthly for "undeliverable mail". When I called to fix the prob, the security question was: What's your address."

Did a service you pay for recently go up in price? Tiktoker @SavingMoneySabrina has a great way to lower your bill when you call customer service. She has a simple script to follow: “Hi, my name is [insert name]. I saw that my Internet went up about $25 this month. Unfortunately, I’m not able to afford that. So if I can’t get it down to the rate that it was last month, I’m gonna have to cancel. Is this something you can help me with?” Here's how she does it:


@savingmoneysabrina

I hope this helps you save some money on your bill! Important note tho: when I say that I will “have to cancel,” I actually do mean it. Sometimes you’ll have to get close to cancelling for anything to happen. Trust the process! #howtosavemoney



7. Fees to pay your bills

"They should just call those a 'fee fee.'"

"Another One Won't Hurt fee."

8. Printer ink scams

"My wife had one of those HP subscription printers, which worked fine for her needs, and her job reimbursed her for it, so it wasn't really a problem for her. When she changed jobs, we decided to cancel the subscription because we weren't using the printer nearly as much, thinking we'd use up the ink in the cartridges and then just buy new cartridges ourselves. NOPE. It turns out, the whole thing stops working as soon as you cancel your subscription, and you can't buy normal ink cartridges to put in it; it only accepts the ones specifically made for the subscription service. So now we have a big plastic paperweight with mostly full ink cartridges."

9. Personalized pricing

"That 'personalized pricing' bs they are considering. The price should be the same for everyone, everywhere, and every time from the same physical store or website. If I want to order in-store pickup from the website, it should be the same price on the shelf. If I use the website at home, in the store, or down the street from inside a competitor's store it should be the same price. If I order online from my friend's pc it should be the same price as ordering from my own pc. The price should be the same whether I'm using the app, the website, or the physical store, not talking about delivery fees. The entire idea that a store can change the price of an item arbitrarily to what they think YOU will pay for it compared to someone else should be absolutely illegal."

"Would you like to use our personal shopping assistant? Guaranteed to give you the lowest price offered to any customer! And it only costs 25% to use!"

10. No free parking here

"Parking fees at suburban hotels. I don't have an issue obviously when you're in downtown Chicago or San Francisco, but charging $20/day to park in a huge suburban hotel with a lot that holds 500 cars is obnoxious."

"Also, parking fees at your job. I’m a nurse in Chicago. All of the major hospitals charge us a parking fee on our paychecks. Like… I get that it’s the city and parking is limited, but the hospitals own their own lots. Why are you making me to pay to come to work? Lol."

motel, parking, free parking, motel fees, parking lot A motel parking lot.via Canva/Photos

11. Software subscriptions

"Back in the day, someone would write a piece of software you actually found useful, so you bought it. Later, the developer added some nice new features, you thought the upgrade was worth it, and you bought the new version. Then the next version came along with features you didn’t care about (bloatware), so you skipped it. The developer sees their income dropping and decides the solution is… a subscription."

If you are locked into subscription software for the next few months, be sure to flip off the auto-renewal switch on the site. If they won't allow you to do so, then set a calendar reminder on your phone for the last month of service so you can cancel before it auto-renews for another year.

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