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Psychologists explain what the number of unread emails in your inbox reveals about your personality

Having thousands of unread emails is not purely "good habit vs. bad habit."

Screenshot of email app with 23,435 unread emails
Screenshot by Annie Reneau

Does this image cause you anxiety, or is it just par for your daily course?

Email has been a regular fixture in our lives since the mid-to-late 1990s, with many of us having many different inboxes to manage from personal and work to organizations and side hustles. Our email life can become overwhelming and even exhausting, and it definitely requires some effort to maintain it, but what that effort and maintenance look like varies drastically from person to person.

Variations in email management have prompted many a debate amongst friends, particularly when one catches a glimpse of another's 20,000+ unreads on their phone and panics. "Why do you have so many unread emails?!? That would cause me so much anxiety!" says the one, while the other just shrugs and says, "I skip the ones I don't want to read and it's not worth taking the time to delete them," as if that's a perfectly reasonable approach.

What do these reactions to emails say about each person? Is one right and the other wrong? Does one have good habits and the other bad?


Some folks will make a convincing argument for orderly and organized inbox habits, touting the benefits of the "Inbox Zero" method in which you follow a few steps to keep your inbox cleared. Such habits can help those who feel overwhelmed by too many emails and can't ignore inbox clutter to feel more at ease.

But before judging those with cluttered inboxes too harshly, it's important to note that our brains don't all work the same way. For some, keeping up a clear inbox causes more stress than ignoring emails and they feel that the time and attention it takes to manage it every day isn't worth it.

Here's what psychologists have to say about people's email inbox habits and what they mean about our personalities:

First, let's look at the reality of email and how much of it is even worth our time, because we all know a lot of the email we receive is worthless. Researchers wrote inHarvard Business Review, “Of the eight hours managers devote to e-communications each week, we estimate 25% of that time is consumed reading emails that should not have been sent to that particular manager and 25% is spent responding to emails that the manager should never have answered.”

In another Harvard Business Review article citing a 2012 McKinsey analysis, researchers noted that, "the average professional spends 28% of the workday reading and answering email...that amounts to a staggering 2.6 hours and 120 emails per day."

And that's just work email. Our personal inboxes are full of junk with seemingly endless waves of email marketing and advertisements masquerading as helpful information. Some of us understand that reality and see it as all the more reason to actively manage our inboxes, while some of us see it as a reason to simply ignore most email that comes in.

A person using a smartphone and laptop with various open tabs.

Are you a filer and deleter or an ignorer?

Photo by Yogas Design on Unsplash

Research psychologist Larry Rosen, Ph.D. told Business Insider that people who routinely file and delete emails are often trying to avoid the anxiety that comes with seeing emails pile up. "A huge, exploding inbox releases stress-based neurotransmitters, like cortisol, which make them anxious," he said.

Some of that anxiety could stem from perfectionism (or vice versa) and seeing notifications build up is a reminder of everything you're not doing or able to do.

“It could be tied to feeling overwhelmed to the point that each unread notification is yet another piled task piled on top of a thousand others,” Jenn Hardy, a licensed psychologist in Maryville, Tennessee, told HuffPost.

Rosen told Business Insider that people who stay on top of their inboxes are often people with a high need for control in their lives. "They need an external way to have control over the world," he said, so the idea of just letting emails pile up willy nilly is way too stressful.

On the other hand, people who do let their emails pile up may feel an opposite kind of stress. The idea of managing it all creates anxiety, and they feel more comfortable just ignoring it. Ultimately, there have to be occasional purges, but that's preferable to the day-to-day maintenance stress for some.

“They may find this works better for them, leaves them less stressed and helps them focus their time and energy on other matters," Hardy pointed out. Social psychologist Ron Friedman told Business Insider that ignoring email "can also mean that you recognize that [monitoring and organizing those emails] isn't helping you achieve progress," adding that recognition is "a sign of intelligence."

Email ignorers might also just be more relaxed personality types in general. More Type B than Type A.

“They may be less of a perfectionist type and go more with the flow,” Lena Derhally, a licensed psychotherapist who specializes in social media and anxiety, told HuffPost. “They may not see having unread notifications or clear inboxes as a priority, and they may not feel bad/guilty/shameful about being unresponsive.”

The one solid argument for keeping your inbox under control regardless of your personality type is the environmental impact of data storage. Deleting emails may be fairly low on the rung of carbon to-dos, but it's a simple one that anyone can do. Plus, using the environment as an incentive to clean up your email habits might be helpful for people who actually want the "Inbox Zero" life but have a hard time getting motivated to do it.

What's funny about all of this is how people's email worlds can be completely alien to one another. My friends look at my unread email notifications and chastise me for causing them anxiety (even though they're my inboxes, not theirs—just seeing the number in the bubble on my phone stresses them out). I, on the other hand, cannot even conceptualize how they keep all of their email inboxes cleaned up every day. Like, does not compute even a little bit.

It takes all kinds of people to make the world go round, so as long as people are happy with their chosen methods, we can stop judging and even celebrate the differences in our inbox habits.


This article originally appeared on 6.6.24

via James Breakwell / Twitter

Raising kids is tough, but there's a lot of laughs along the way. Comedy writer James Breakwell has four daughters under the age of eight and shares their hilarious conversations on Twitter. And, from Breakwell's tweets, it looks like his five year old has a future in comedy. Here's a sampling of some Breakwell's funniest kid-inspired tweets.


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His 5-year-old isn't the only (often unintentionally) hilarious child in the house; the 7-year-old and 3-year-old turn up from time to time. There's also a 2-year-old, but she hasn't been the subject of many tweets yet.


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This article originally appeared four years ago.

20 high school students lift car to rescue mom and toddler

Some people are in the right place at the right time when tragedy strikes. A mother and her 2-year-old are both lucky to be alive after being struck by a car that was blinded by the sun on December 5th, 2023. Bridgette Ponson was walking across the parking lot of Layton Christian Academy in Utah when the accident occurred.

Students rushed to the car realizing that Ponson and her two small children were stuck beneath it. While the 3-year-old managed to free themselves to crawl from under the car, the mom was trapped on top of her younger child unable to move. Help arrived nearly instantly in the form of more than 20 high school students and a United States Airman.

The school's surveillance cameras caught the entire heart-stopping rescue on video as the teens struggled to lift the car. Eventually, the high schoolers were able to lift it high enough for senior airman Dominique Childress to help pull the mom and toddler to safety.

Childress was there picking up his kids when he was asked to help by his child's teacher. He explains to KSL News, “Mom was holding him, and once we were holding the car high enough, she was able (to) get up and kind of hold the car on her back as we were lifting.”

Childress went on to tell KSL that the baby's face was purple and he was unconscious but the airman was able to find a pulse. The teens worked in unison to lift the car off of the trapped mom and child, not knowing it was someone from the school's administration office. Their only focus was saving the family. Theo Roach, one of the students that helped lift the car said the reality of the situation didn't click in until afterward.

“It was a relief because I didn’t understand fully. I didn’t grasp the realness of the situation until I saw the kid breathing,” Roach told the outlet.

But it was thanks to their quick acting that Ponson and her child were spared. The youngest child was life-flighted to Primary Children's Hospital in Salt Lake City and released with minor injuries. Ponson remained hospitalized for a while longer and received multiple surgeries.

The school set up a GoFundMe for the family to help with medical bills and income since both Ponson and her husband will be out of work while everyone recovers. The world responded robustly and their fund has since surpassed its goal.

You can watch the entire interview, including the heroic rescue, below.

This article originally appeared two years ago.

A dad got a sweet note from a fellow father after camping with his kids.

One of the hardest parts of being a parent is never being sure whether you're doing a good job or totally bombing it. If you're conscientious enough to even wonder if you're a good parent, you probably are, but parenting entails a million little choices and interactions, and there's always a lingering voice in your head saying, "What if you're really screwing this whole thing up?"

Reassurance and encouragement are always appreciated by parents, but not always received, which is why a note from one camping dad to another has people celebrating the kindness of anonymous strangers.

"You are killing it as a dad."

Someone on Yosemite Reddit thread shared a photo of a handwritten note with the caption, "To the man who left this thoughtful note on my windshield at Lower Pines Campground this weekend, I extend my heartfelt gratitude; your acknowledgment of my efforts to be a good father means a great deal to me."



The note reads:

"Bro,

I camped in the spot behind you last night. Let me just say, you are killing it as a dad. First off, I watched your wife guide you in as you backed up your trailer and nailed it on the first try without any yelling. Then your kids unloaded from the truck and were mild-mannered and well behaved. You told stories around the campfire and I had the pleasure of listening to the sounds of giggles and laughter.

From one dad to another, you are killing it. Keep it up.

P.S. Whatever you cooked for dinner smelled delicious!"

How often do we share these thoughts with strangers, even if we have them? And who wouldn't love to get a surprise bit of praise with specific examples of things we did right?

Everyone needs to hear a compliment once in a while.

So many people found the note to be a breath of fresh air and a good reminder to compliment people when we feel the urge:

"That would make any daddy's eyes water."

"It’s always nice, as a guy, to get a compliment."

"I complimented a guy's glasses at work (I'm also a guy, and btw they were really cool glasses, I wasn't just being nice) and now he keeps trying to tell me where he got his glasses and how I should get some. But I'm just having to be polite because I already have glasses and I'm not in the market. I finally had to tell him I'm not going to buy them lmao I just like them on him.

Made me feel like that's the first compliment he's had in years because he can't stop talking about it. Also I mainly liked the glasses because I think he's cute but he really thinks it's just the glasses haha jokes on him that cute bastard."

"I was in the store with my wife and one of our 'adopted nephews' yesterday (we’re close friends with his parents and we’ve known him and his brother since they were newborns and 2yo, respectively). A woman came up to me at checkout while my wife was running out to the car and said 'I’m not sure what your family relationship is here, but I just have to tell you how nice and refreshing it is to hear all the laughter and joy from the 3 of you. You both seem like such a good influence on him and it warms my heart.' It’s such a small thing but as a dude, I can’t remember the last time someone gave me a compliment in public and it made my freaking day."

"10/10 letter. The and not yelling part gave me a good chuckle lol."

"We need so much more of men getting such heartfelt and sincere compliments. Thanks for sharing. ❤️"

"I’ve never considered leaving a note, but when I see a harmonious family with good parenting, it’s healing for me. My childhood was awful."

"Such an awesome compliment! Even though I don't have children myself, I like to remind my friends too that they're doing great & it brings them happy tears."

"This made me cry. I love that you are getting your 'flowers.' My dad sucked, I’m so glad you are one of the good ones."

"This made me cry too. It’s so hard to be a human. Let alone a parent. Getting a good job sticker every now and then really means a lot these days."

"I'm a big bearded guy and I would cry if I got this note. More people like this, please."

The best part of this story is that no one knows who the dad who wrote the note is, not even the dad who shared it. It wasn't written for clout or notoriety, it wasn't to get attention or make himself look good. No name or signature, just an anonymous act of kindness to uplift a stranger whether he needed it or not.

We all need to hear or read kind things said about us, and sometimes it means even more coming from an anonymous stranger who has nothing to gain by sharing. A good reminder to share it when you feel it—you never know how many people you may move and inspire.

This article originally appeared last year.

ponce_photography/Canva

The "egg crack challenge" on TikTok is more harmful than it is funny.

There are plenty of viral videos involving children that are perfectly harmless. Kids are naturally hilarious, and it's not unusual for parents to capture their wee ones saying or doing something adorably funny.

At Upworthy, we often share cute viral kid videos, like the Italian preschooler who gesticulates like an old Sicilian grampa or the 4-year-old snowboarder in a dinosaur suit or the 3-year-old with incredible moves dancing alongside choreographed dancers. These are kiddos just doing what they do—genuine, wholesome kid moments caught on video.

Sometimes we share viral kid videos and stories that are clearly set up, often with some kind of a positive parenting lesson included. But such videos are a far cry from a viral TikTok trend that involves parents cracking eggs on their children's heads and recording their reactions.

The "egg crack challenge" involves parents cooking with their little ones—almost always a fun activity for kids—but when it comes time to break open an egg, the parent unexpectedly cracks it on the child's head instead of the side of the bowl.

The child's stunned/confused/nervous reactions sometimes result in crying, sometimes laughter, and the unpredictable nature of it is what seems to be entertaining people.

But it's not a harmless "prank"—not when it's done to a small child who doesn't understand what's happening.

I'm not going to share any of the videos here because the whole point is to rack up views and I don't want to contribute to the problem. But let's look at this trend from the perspective of a little kid for a moment. You're just learning about the world, and realizing it can be a scary and unpredictable place sometimes. Your place of security is your home with your parents who provide safety and protection. You're not sure what you can rely on out there, but your parents are your source of stability.

You've observed your parents cooking, so you kind of know what to expect. You use a cup to measure. You use a spoon to stir. You crack and open eggs before they go into the bowl.

You've never seen someone crack an egg on someone's head. You've been taught that hitting someone, especially on the head, with or without an object is wrong. How do you make sense of your parent suddenly turning and hitting you on the head with an egg in the middle of cooking?

Children don't process things the way adults do, but even most adults would immediately be like "WTF?!" if someone suddenly used their head for an egg-cracking surface. For a young child, it's not just a WTF moment—it's a message: "The thing I thought was predictable actually isn't. The person I thought was reliable actually isn't. The rules I was taught don't always apply."

It's foundational-level confusing and could potentially mess with a child's sense of trust. All for some Internet likes.

Dan Wuori, Ph.D., Senior Director of Early Learning at the Hunt Institute, shared some thoughts on this and other potentially damaging parent "challenges," such as inviting a kindergartener to meet their teacher virtually and having a scary-looking person on the screen.

"The years of early childhood are a time during which trust and attachment are (ideally) formed," Wuori wrote on X (formerly Twitter). "With love, attention, and responsive caregiving, young children learn that their world is safe. They develop self-worth and self-esteem. These are prerequisites to both learning and healthy development. But the key to developing trust is consistency."

"And the behaviors in these videos—even if rare and anomalous—serve only to undermine healthy attachment between parent and child," he added. "They provide children with data points that suggest their parents can be unexpectedly and arbitrarily cruel. They are a violation of hard-earned trust.

"Some will argue that these are just jokes in good fun. They aren’t. They are the deliberate infliction of trauma, however brief, for the amusement of strangers. It should go without saying that this isn’t good for children."

Pediatric occupational therapist Amanda Mathers shared a TikTok of her own explaining why the trend isn't a good idea from a child development standpoint.

"You are teaching them that hitting someone in the head, hard, with an object, is acceptable and funny," she said.

@yourpediatricot

I know as parents you never want to harm your child. This post is meant to educate, for wny parwnts who were wanting to try this, or tor parents who already did this rrend and fan go back wnd have a conversation with their child about what happened. ••• Toddlers brains at this age don’t yet fully comprehend jokes like this and although they may laugh… their brain is thinking “WHAT THE HECK?!” ••• Skip this trend parents, it’ll save you in the long run 🤍 #eggcrackchallenge #eggcrackprank #eggcrackreaction #emotionalintelligence #raisingconfidentchildren #raisingkids #donttrythisathome #pediatricot

She even went so far as to call it bullying, which is a solid point when you consider that some of these videos include children crying in embarrassment, pain, or confusion and their parent laughing in their faces. Some might think they're teaching kids about joking around and being silly, but this isn't a healthy way to teach that. It's cruel.

Parents in these videos may not realize how the thing they see as fun might be harmful, which is why it's good to try to see it from a child's perspective.

But a good rule to follow in general is not to purposefully create an emotional reaction in a child as a way to go viral on social media. Stick to capturing kids just being their normal, adorable, hilarious selves—there's plenty of entertainment in that.


This article originally appeared two years ago.

We get to see the world through Mr. Kitters' eyes.

Have you ever wondered what it's like to be a cat? To watch the world from less than a foot off the ground, seeing and hearing things humans completely miss, staring out the window for hours while contemplating one of your nine lives?

Well, thanks to one person, we need wonder no more—at least about the what-they're-seeing part.

The TikTok channel Mr. Kitters the Cat (@mr.kitters.the.cat) gives us a cat's-eye view of the world with a camera attached to Mr. Kitters' collar. The result is an utterly delightful POV experience that takes us through the daily adventuring of the frisky feline as he wanders the yard.

In a video titled "Spicy cats," which has more than 74 million views on TikTok, we begin with the cutest cat sneeze ever. Then we hear Mr. Kitters' meow as we walk with him through the grass before the scene switches to a thrilling, yowling cat chase he witnesses across the yard (while tucking himself even more securely under the bush he's in).

The best is seeing his kitty paws as he walks and then digs in the mulch. And there's apparently something very exciting that needs to be pounced on right along a chain link fence.

Watch and enjoy:

@mr.kitters.the.cat

Spicy cats 🌶️ #fyp #cat #meow

The commenters made their delight known.

"I love how he saw the cat fight and was like that's not my business today," wrote one person.

"WHEN HE DIGS WITH HIS LIL PAWS," declared another.

"People: Cats only meow at humans." Mr Kitters -Meows at everything-" wrote another.

And of course, countless people responded simply to the sneeze with "Bless you."

Mr. Kitters has other POV videos as well. This one demonstrates how chatty he is and shows his black cat buddy as well.

@mr.kitters.the.cat

“What do you want?” “Nothing!” #fyp #cat #meow

It really sounds like he says, "Let me in," doesn't it?

And this "extreme sports" video is riveting.

@mr.kitters.the.cat

Extreme sports 💀 #fyp

It's funny how something as simple as putting a camera around the neck of a cat can draw in tens of millions of people. We're all so curious about the lives of the creatures we see every day, and the adorable quirkiness of cat behavior is a big part of why we keep them as companions in the first place. Seeing the world through their point of view is just one more way we can enjoy and learn about our pet friends.


This article originally appeared two years ago.