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Health

7 things that are labeled 'bad habits' but are actually proven to be good for you

In moderation, of course.

man asleep at his desk

Work naps? Not a bad habit.

The success of “Atomic Habits” and a million other books about forming good habits or breaking bad ones should tell us something about how much humans think about our habits. We all have things we wish we did more or wish we did less, but what if some of our notions of good habits vs. bad are just…off?

Some things that are traditionally labeled as bad habits can actually be good for you, but they've gotten a bad rap for some reason. So when someone asked Reddit for examples of habits that are counted as "bad" but are actually good, people delivered.

Here are 7 of the most popular answers:


Fidgeting

How many kids were forced to sit still in school, internalizing the message that shaking your leg or foot or fidgeting in their seat was a bad habit? Turns out, movement like that is actually good for you. We've all heard that sitting is the new smoking, and tapping your toes or rocking in your chair helps keep your blood moving and protect your arteries from some of the harms posed by being too sedentary.

"Shaking/vibrating your leg when you have to be sitting for a long time, gets the blood moving, better than being completely stationary for hours."

"It's also useful when my toddler wants to be bounced. I just put him on my already shaking leg and it keeps going."

"As someone with ADHD, this is good news!"

"As a wise man once said, 'Motion is lotion.'"

"I have two relatives who are doctors. They both did an elder-care rotation and said 'Motion is lotion: you stop moving, you die' really resonated with their patients."

Crying

How many children heard "Big boys don't cry" or "Stop that crying or I'll give you something to cry about?" growing up? Much like "stop fidgeting," those admonitions weren't just unkind or unrealistic, they were also wrong. Crying can be beneficial, helping to relieve stress and restore emotional balance.

"Crying actually helps ease pain, physically and emotionally."

"Yes and I heard our tears actually contain stress hormones, so it’s literally helping our body reduce cortisol! That’s why we 'feel better after a good cry.'"

"We evolved to both sweat and cry in order to survive in the world. Our bodies use both to keep us alive and biologically calibrated. Sweating and crying helped us outperform and outrun our predators and prey, and helped us build cohesive bonds, work as units, and build civilizations.

As a US Marine, this information is literally the difference between life and death not just in ourselves, but the life and death of others too."

Napping at work

Okay, not necessary at work, though that would be good, too. But at during a work break, a short nap can revive and refresh you. According to the Mayo Clinic, a short nap in the early afternoon is the best nap for getting the benefits of napping without messing with your nighttime sleep.

"Taking a nap during lunch breaks. Some look down on it but I get a lot of energy from it."

"Sometimes its not really about falling asleep. Just closing your eyes, laying back and purging any thoughts from your mind is enough."

"All of Asia has done this forever. You ever spend time at an office in China? It's almost eerie how quiet and dark it gets at lunch time, dudes roll out cots from under their desk and zonk out for a solid hour."

"At work we have these privacy pod things in our cafeteria that are super comfortable, so I take a nap there most days. Definitely needed haha."

Being lazy

Doing nothing all the time is definitely not healthy, but in our go, go, go society that places enormous value on "productivity," carving out some "do nothing" time is actually beneficial. Rest and relaxation are an important part of a balanced life, and there are genuine health benefits to doing nothing.

"Being lazy from time to time. Sleeping in. Just doing nothing. There are so many 'hustle' adds and posters everywhere. My GF and some of my friends fill so much their schedule that there is barely any time for rest or enjoying a book or a game or smth. Me, having pretty busy everyday life I always make sure to have at least 10 or more hours a week to do nothing productive. Enjoy life, nature, friends, alone time, watch stupid videos, play games."

"It’s funny, when I was younger I had a ton of free time, and always felt like it was important to be productive and make use of it. Often a bit of guilt if I sat around for hours. Now my days and weekends are filled with responsibilities and events and things going on without me even explicitly trying to fill them, and I find that anytime I have nothing to do feels amazing. If I happen to get a day where I’m totally by myself and nothing is planned I will happily play 8 hours of video games and not feel like a moment was wasted."

"Near my house, there's a small meadow sourrounded by trees, where you can't hear any sounds from the nearby village and road. In summer it's just leaves rustling and insects buzzing. I go there every now and then, kick off my shoes, lie on a blanket in the shade and think of nothing.

My wife and kids don't get how I can just doze off and spend an entire sunny summer afternoon just being at ease with myself, but it recharges my batteries like nothing else does."

Talking to yourself

Traditionally speaking, talking to yourself in public has been seen as an oddity at best and a sign of a mental disorder at worst. But research shows that talking out loud to yourself can actually help with organization, focus and attention, emotional regulation and more.

"Talking to yourself, although it can be taken as a sign of loneliness, also helps you concentrate and organize ideas, of course, without overdoing it."

"Ppl call me crazy for it but this is what gets me clarity so f them lol. Talking to ourselves is one of the best ways to understand the situation/idea/whatever it is as much as it helps us to understand our own selves and well,who wouldn’t want to have a good relationship with their own selves?"

"I do this when driving alone! Helps me process my emotions and thoughts."

"Talking to yourself! People think it’s weird or a sign of being scatterbrained, but honestly, it’s super helpful. Whether I’m working through a problem, organizing my thoughts, or just giving myself a pep talk, it makes things clearer. Saying things out loud helps me process info better and stay focused. Plus, it’s like having a personal brainstorming session. So yeah, if you catch me chatting with myself, just know I’m getting stuff done!"

Staying up late

Ben Franklin famously said, "Early to bed, early to rise makes a man healthy, wealthy and wise," and people have run with that for centuries. But there's no inherent virtue in going to bed early and waking up early, and some people's natural rhythms put them on a later cycle. Not only that, but some research shows that night owls have superior cognitive function compared to early birds. (Don't worry, morning larks. You're still awesome.)

i.giphy.com

"Staying up late. Some people have different circadian rhythms and it makes evolutionary sense that in order for a population to thrive you couldn’t all be asleep at once."

"Took me a life time to figure this out. Growing up I always struggled to make it to school without having a disgusting lack of sleep. Often I’d be in bed at 1230-1 am and have to be up at 6.

That habit made its way into adult life when I graduated college and got myself a 9-5. I remember having the worst anxiety on Sunday because Friday/saturday I was actually able to sleep from 2 am till 9 am, but Sunday I’d have to try and force myself back to sleep early.

Then five years ago I got a bartending job. At first I worked from 9 pm till 2 am, but going to bed at 3-4 am wasn’t optimal. Eventually I found work where I was leaving work at 930-10 pm. Perfect. Now I have time before and after work to relax, I go in for six hours, make $200-300 and come home.

Work has never been more relaxing. And I’ll never sacrifice my sleep for the sake of working “normal” hours."

"There's also the fact that prior to the industrial revolution, most cultures had two sleeps technically. You would wake up for 1-3 hours in the middle of the night, they called it "the watch". We spent eons sleeping and waking this way, only stopped about 130 years ago. The negative effects are showing."

Gaming

Back in the 80s and 90s, grownups were convinced that video games were going to be the downfall of the world. The research is always evolving on this front, but what we have learned is that moderate video game playing can actually have some benefits. For instance, one study of nearly 2,000 kids found that playing video games for three hours a day was correlated with better performance on cognitive skills tests involving impulse control and working memory than never playing video games. All things in moderation, of course, but gaming itself isn't the boogeyman it was made out to be.

"Gaming (in moderation). Studies have shown it improves problem solving, critical thinking, multi tasking, decision making, hand-eye coordination, spatial awareness, memory, and concentration."

"Video games. Proven to relieve stress and tension, and is an acceptable outlet for your emotions which doesn’t hurt any real people."

"Most ppl who criticise games who play you much would then go on to scroll Instagram brain rot for just as much time per day. Out of the two, excessive gaming is much better than excessive social feed."

"Gaming is healthy - so long as it doesn't prevent you from a variety of other healthy activities!"

Maybe it's time to rethink a lot of our behaviors that have been labeled as bad habits but might actually be good.


Pop Culture

All In: 5 Ways This Week

From the silly to the sentimental, there are so many ways people like to go “all in” on something. Here are our five favorite examples we found this week across the internet.

5 ways people are going "All In" this week
5 ways people are going "All In" this week
5 ways people are going "All In" this week
True

When you hear the words “all in,” what do you think? You might picture a Dancing with the Stars trend gone viral or maybe bridesmaids who fully supportive of the bride's favorite movie (and recreates an iconic scene). Whatever you picture, the idea is the same: Someone who does something with 100 percent total commitment. Going “all in” means giving your all—going completely over the top, no second guessing, no holding back. Just full-throttle enthusiasm, with some flair and creativity thrown in. And when people go “all in,” something truly special usually happens as a result.


The internet abounds with examples of people giving it their all—whatever it is. In this roundup, we’ve found the very best examples of people going “all in”—moments where passion, creativity, and commitment take center stage. Some are sentimental, some are silly, but all of them are a reminder that giving 100 percent is truly the only way to leave a mark on this world. Get ready: These folks didn’t just show up, they went all in.


1. An Iconic "snow-coaster"

One thing about going all in - it can be crazy and childish at times. That’s something that makes going all in special, connecting with that side of you that takes things less seriously in order to have some fun. Shira Goldstone and her husband took to that mindset when it started snowing in their backyard. Shira’s husband picked up planks of wood (and whatever other tools are required) and within the same night, in the falling snow, built a “snow-coaster” for the two of them to play on.

2. A Truck That's Feeding It's Community

You already know our friends at All In—they’ve got some seriously tasty snacks that are not only healthy and affordable (scroll to the bottom of this article to see how you can snag a free bar), they help fund food banks, gardens, community fridges, meal programs, and other amazing things

For Giving Tuesday, All In teamed up with Fresh Truck, a weekly mobile market that brings fresh and affordable produce to neighborhoods in the Boston area. Fresh truck hosts weekly markets, pop-up events, and an online storefront, all to help strengthen communities who need it the most. They’re going all in on local nutrition and food access, and we’re here for it.


3. All In on Madam Morrible

I’m always all in on a good TikTok trend. This week, I’m going to share with you a classic that has come out of the Wicked franchise and the incredible actress Michelle Yeoh.

Michelle, who plays Madame Morrible in the Wicked movies, is an outstanding actress. She’s known for iconic films like Everything, Everywhere, All At Once, as well as Crazy Rich Asians and Star Trek. But her legacy might be this one quote, which she’s said in interviews countless times, and now people can’t stop making videos with the phrase “Madame Morrible, M.M…flip it around, W.W. Wicked Witch!”

You might have to take a look at how people are going all in yourself, the sound has taken off with already 14.3K videos, and the variations are unstoppable...defying all odds and maybe even...defying gravity?

4. Spotify Wrapped: All in on "Coconut Mall"

TikTok · Ale

www.tiktok.com

There’s nothing better than finding a song that hits just right and gets you feeling productive. For some people, it’s lofi beats. For others, it’s orchestra music. For TikTok user @aleinmotion, it was the “coconut mall” song from the Mario Kart racing soundtrack. Ale never realized how much she listened to the song until it became #1 on her Spotify Wrapped. Sometimes you’ll be surprised by what you love most, and I’m thinking this is one of those moments for Ale.

5. A Family Prank Everyone Enjoys

This girl said her boyfriend had an ugly hat, so her family decided to go all in on supporting him instead. This is when love and humor come together, a perfect prank that actually made the boyfriends day…and taught his girlfriend that nothing is really that serious! They even got the daughter her very own hat as well, and she looked happy to wear it!

As someone who grew up with a dad who always wore floppy hats to protect him from the sun, I understand the embarrassment. Maybe it’s time I go all in and show my support with a matching hat and white long sleeve sun shirt!

Snag your free (!!) snack bar here while this deal lasts. Simply sign up with your phone number, pick up your favorite flavor of an All In bar at Sprouts, and then text a picture of your receipt through Aisle. They’ll Venmo or PayPal you back for the cost of one bar. Enjoy!

Autumn de Forest, art, kids, artists, painting, Pope
Autumn de Forest

Autumn de Forest stands before a sign with her name on it

When Autumn de Forest was five years old, she picked up a paintbrush for the first time. It wasn't long before she was ready to show the world what she could do.

After a year of practice, the then-six-year-old asked her father if he could get her a booth at a local art-in-the-park program. "People would come up to the booth, and they would talk to my father, and they'd say, 'This is great!'" she said. "Apparently they thought it was Take Your Daughter to Work Day."


Almost everyone thought the artwork was her father's. When they found out that tiny Autumn was the artist, people couldn't believe their eyes.

art, kids, art genius, kid genius Autumn created this piece when she was just 5 years old.Autumn de Forest

Soon, Autumn rose to national fame

When Autumn was eight, she was featured on the Discovery Health Channel. There was a slew of media attention in the years that followed. There was Disney. There was The Today Show. There was Wendy Williams. She was called a child genius, a prodigy, and an expert painter.

- YouTube www.youtube.com

Suddenly, Autumn de Forest was everywhere.

But not everyone was so accepting of the young artist and her work. Some people in the art world had...questions. Sure, she was good for a kid. But was her art actually good? Others wondered if the whole thing might be an elaborate hoax.

Autumn ignored her critics and kept painting.

By age 14, she developed a startlingly organized daily routine that went far beyond a 9 to 5

Somehow, as the focus on her age began to wear off, Autumn's work ethic and art only grow stronger. She said that most days, she'd wake up in her parents' Las Vegas home at 7:30 a.m. After breakfast, she'd break out her supplies for a one- or two-hour painting session. From there, she dove into her school work. Most brick-and-mortar schools can't accommodate her travel schedule, so she did the majority of her schooling online.

Before dinner, it was back into the studio.

"That session can last much longer, that can be three or four hours when I really get into it," she said. "Then I probably have dinner and go to bed."

kids, painting, artistic genius, paintings, kid artists Autumn de Forest paints Autumn de Forest

The results speak for themselves

Her work has been displayed in galleries and exhibitions all over the world.

kids, painting, artistic genius, paintings, kid artists An Autumn de Forest paintingAutumn de Forest

Autumn held a public demonstration before a showing at The Butler Institute of American Art.

assets.rebelmouse.io

In 2015, Autumn received the International Giuseppe Sciacca Award in Painting and Art.

The award took her to the Vatican for a private showing of her artwork with Pope Francis.

Autumn de Forest, the Pope, Pope Francis, painting, art Autumn de Forest stands with the Pope who looks at one of her paintings Autumn de Forest

At 16, she also worked with the President's Committee on the Arts and the Humanities, headed up by former First Lady Michelle Obama.

As part of the program, de Forest traveled to underprivileged schools around the country and led painting workshops. Oh, and if you're looking for some hard numbers to attach to Autumn's talent, she's got those, too.

Her paintings raked in over $7 million at auctions by the time she was a teenager—fetching as much as $25,000 each—much of which has gone directly to charities and disaster relief funds.

Now 24, Autumn continues to be represented by Park West Gallery, the world's largest art dealer, and is keeping busy with her craft and philanthropy.

- YouTube youtu.be

The transition from child prodigy to respected artist has certainly kept her busy. In 2017, the Monthaven Arts and Cultural Center in Hendersonville, Tennessee hosted a major solo exhibition for de Forest titled "Her White Room: The Art of Autumn de Forest."

That same year, de Forest was listed as one of Teen Vogue's "21 Under 21." In her profile she was praised for her talent as well as her commitment to art education.

"In dis­advantaged schools, they consider the arts an extracur­ricular activity," she told Teen Vogue. "It's devastating, as there could be child prodigies in these schools, but they don't know that they have this God-­given gift because they're not given the opportunity because there's nearly no art programs in schools."

In 2018, de Forest was featured in the music video for the song "Youth" by best-selling recording artists Shawn Mendes and Khalid. The video highlights exceptional young people working to change the world, including de Forest, Emma González, and Elias and Zion Phoenix.

The video has over 88 million views on YouTube.

And of course, de Forest continues to share her absolutely incredible artwork on Instagram and in shows and exhibitions around the globe.

The Autumn de Forest Foundation helps her keep track of the kids she's met throughout the years and to continue to help them with their art careers

A portion of the foundation's money goes to a 529 account set up for the students while 10% goes to them directly.

"A lot of these kids that I work with, they're not very old, they're in second grade, third grade, fourth grade. Maybe in 10 years, they may only have four or five thousand dollars but that could be the difference between them going to college or not," Autumn told Teen Vogue.

Autumn's incredible rise in the art world is an astonishing feat for someone so young, but that accomplishment is easily matched by her generosity and commitment to helping develop tomorrow's prodigies as well.

De Forest's latest solo exhibition debuted in late August of this year, and ran through mi September at the Park West Soho Gallery. She now resides in Los Angeles according to her profile on the networking site, dot.cards.

For more information, visit her website.

This article originally appeared nine years ago. It has been updated.

names, parenting, kids, trends, parenting
Photo Credit: Canva

A young kid holds a teddy bear. A name tag remains blank.

Kids, or people in general, wanting to change their given names is nothing new. As an act of autonomy (or just simple creativity), it's perfectly natural to reinvent one's self until it feels right.

Over on Reddit, a popular parenting thread wrestles with the same concept. One person states, "My child wants to change their name." They note, "My child (10) just started public school, and suddenly they have asked to change their name. Here's the kicker: this isn't an effort to express their gender identity in another way. If they wanted to explore more non-conforming gender roles (non-binary/gender-fluid/transgender), I would be entirely, completely supportive of that. My spouse and I are both non-conforming to gender roles, and I could understand if our child wanted to explore something similar."


They continue that they found the source of the new name. "I did some digging, and I recently discovered part of their motivation for the change: it is the name of their favorite YouTuber. I don't even know where to start here. I feel a level of guilt being judgmental of my child's choice to change their name, but there also isn't anything inherently wrong with it. A rose by another name and all that, but am I wrong for thinking the reason for the change is just a little bit flippant and not a good motivation to change their identity, especially when that identity is being lifted from another, living person?"

names, kids, parents, identity, parenting A menacing man asks that you say his name. Giphy

The post received are over three hundred comments, many of which share similar stories and anecdotes of how they changed their names as kids.

One confesses they wanted to change their name a lot: "For what it's worth, I wanted to change my name a million times growing up. First, I wanted Dawn, then Angel, and lord knows what after that. I'm sure I went by Lilith during high school for a moment. My parents were so blasé about it. I never did change my name."

This Redditor notes they found it serendipitous that their child wanted to change her name, just as the person was reading a book that mentions name-changing. "My 5-year-old decided to change her name just as I started rereading Northanger Abbey, so this quote stuck out to me: 'Sally, or rather Sarah (for what young lady of common gentility will reach the age of sixteen without altering her name as far as she can?)' It’s been a thing for centuries!"

Another points out that the inspiration for names can wane over time: "My parents let me change my name when I was 8 to an animal name from a Disney movie. Not legally, but they called me that name and had all my teachers, coaches, etc., use it. As I got older, I realized how silly it sounded, but also my own name still didn't feel right. I chose another nickname (a person name this time), and when I went to middle school I went under this new name. When I went to college, I tried to go back to my legal name, but it didn't stick, and I ended up telling everyone my nickname and using that until I finally changed it legally when I was about 23."

One shares that their young daughter has asked to go by "Grass," so they do.

Spider-Man, names, kids, parents, gif Spider-Man dances like nobody's watching. Giphy Spider-Man Dance GIF

And some, of course, note that the moment will pass: "My son went by Spider-Man for almost a year at age 4. He’s 23 now and happy with his given name."

Community

Frugal people share 15 "fancy" home hacks that feel bougie while still saving them money

"It feels fancy and Greek-goddess-y, while also using less hot water!"

frugal, frugal living, frugal home, frugal house, frugal money saving tips

Frugal people share money saving home tips.

Being frugal can sometimes feel anything but luxurious. Saving money usually means cutting back or giving up on the "finer" things.

But frugal people have found ways to still cut back on household spending while making their homes feel like five-star hotels. And bonus: their frugal "little luxuries" can have even bigger payoffs than saving money—they have big mental health benefits.


“Little luxuries can trigger the release of feel-good neurotransmitters, improving overall mood,” Robert Cuyler, PhD, Chief Clinical Officer at Freespira, explained to VeryWell Mind. "Physically, little luxuries that promote relaxation and well-being can lead to lower blood pressure, improved sleep quality, reduced muscle tension, and a strengthened immune system due to decreased stress levels."

- YouTube www.youtube.com

To save money around the house while still feeling fancy, these are 15 frugal home hacks.

"My grandfather in law has motion sensor lights in every room in his home. He got me some for my apartment back in the day, and man oh man. I felt like a KING every time I walked in and the lights just popped on. My energy bill was also noticeably smaller. Still not sure why they changed to walled sized bills... Also, as an eco conscious human, I was glad to be saving energy. Finally, I found it to be more hygienic and less stressful when not having to worry about touching lights when cooking or whatever. Still swear by automated illumination to this day." - KVNTRY

"Wait til you hear about pressure-based light switches. I put one in the door jamb of my pantry so when you open the door, the light immediately kicks on. Close it again, and it shuts off. It’s glorious." - Stone_The_Rock

"Cloth napkins. We haven’t bought paper napkins in years, and the cloth ones are so much nicer anyway." - SmileFirstThenSpeak

"Carrying everything on trays. I might be overdosing on Downton Abbey, but having trays of various sizes readily available is nicer and easier." - Heel_Worker982

@hellobrownlow

welcome to Frugal Living Essentials! we're talking about all the little things that add up to being super frugal in your day to day life. #frugalliving #frugalmom #singleincomefamily #livebelowyourmeans #frugal

"Changing my toilet seats out to the easy to slide off versions so you clean everything more thoroughly without fighting crevices is a game changer." - mycofirsttime

"An led bulb that I programmed to do sunrise/sunset wakeup and sleep routines. Silicone trays to put skincare products on." - Okiedonutdokie

"Auto sensor soap and water dispenser for the kitchen so I don't have to clean the faucets when I might have gotten raw meat juices on them." - SilentRaindrops

"I bought a big pack of white washcloths for general use and I keep a stack neatly folded in half on the bathroom counter. Feels hotel-core and 'prepared' for little effort." - infieldmitt

"Having indoor plants - especially the ones that have low light needs and are easy to propagate. My pothos plant is the gift that keeps on giving since its cuttings have allowed me to have greenery in every room of my place. I’ve gotten all my plants frugally - cuttings from friends, inherited plants from moving neighbors, rescued plants from work, and occasional purchases from places like Aldi or Trader Joe’s. I’m lucky to have a southeast facing room and all of my plants thrive in there. I feel so freaking fancy sitting among my plants, reading a book with my dog by my side." - onlythegoodstuff44

"Bathroom fan switch with choice of how many minutes you want it to run. No more worrying about it running when we're asleep or outside the house." - fishfishbirdbirdcat

- YouTube www.youtube.com

"I put a pretty vintage pitcher in my shower that I fill up with hot water to use while I have the water turned off. It feels fancy and Greek-goddess-y, while also using less hot water!" - laurasaurus5

"My door catchers and door stops. For the room doors that are almost always open, I installed magnetic door catchers on the baseboard. This holds the doors in place, creating clean lines in the rooms and predictably large openings. I also had two 5 lbs kettle bells which I spray painted chrome and use as door stops at my front and back doors. They are easy to place, look good, and securely hold heavy exterior doors open. I love them." - AvivaStrom

"We got a robot vacuum mop. For the price of one month of having a cleaner come in to do my floors, I can have someone other than me vacuum and mop daily! Yay for Mr. Clean! Such a cheerful helper! It feels a little like having staff. 🧐" - mystery_biscotti

"Purchased a French door from Lowes and replaced my sliding glass door. It made the room 'pop'. They have doors in every price range via their catalog from a modest expense to very expensive. I absolutely hate sliding glass doors." - texasusa

"Get one of those shower curtain rods that's curved outward. Total game changer." - CurnanBarbarian

Love Stories

Photographer captured his wife's cancer journey until the end for the most beautiful reason

“When people see these photographs, I hope they see life before death."

cancer, breast cancer, chemotherapy, cancer treatment, photography, angelo merendino
Angelo Merendino (used with permission)

A photo series helps people understand the day to day reality of terminal cancer.

All images by Angelo Merendino, published here with permission.

Cancer is unfortunately common, but seeing someone's cancer journey from start to finish is pretty uncommon. Medical experiences are often kept private, for understandable reasons, so the public is usually shielded from the various ups and downs and the intimate moments of pain and struggle, as well as love and even joy, that come along with battling terminal cancer.


When I first saw the incredible photos Angelo Merendino took of his wife, Jennifer, as she battled breast cancer, I felt that I shouldn't be seeing this snapshot of their intimate, private lives. The photos humanize the face of cancer and capture the difficulty, fear, and pain that they experienced during the difficult time.

cancer, breast cancer, chemotherapy, cancer treatment, photography, angelo merendino Angelo and Jennifer were a happy couple.Angelo Merendino

But as Angelo commented: "These photographs do not define us, but they are us."

In his photo exhibition, Angelo wrote:

"Jennifer was diagnosed with breast cancer five months after our wedding. She passed less than four years later. During our journey we realized that many people are unaware of the reality of day to day life with cancer. After Jen’s cancer metastasized we decided to share our life through photographs."

cancer, breast cancer, chemotherapy, cancer treatment, photography, angelo merendino Angelo and Jennifer Angelo Merendino



cancer, breast cancer, chemotherapy, cancer treatment, photography, angelo merendino Jennifer was diagnosed with cancer in 2008.Angelo Merendino

cancer, breast cancer, chemotherapy, cancer treatment, photography, angelo merendino Her diagnosis came only five months after they were married.Angelo Merendino

On his website, Angelo writes:

"With each challenge we grew closer. Words became less important. One night Jen had just been admitted to the hospital, her pain was out of control. She grabbed my arm, her eyes watering, 'You have to look in my eyes, that’s the only way I can handle this pain.' We loved each other with every bit of our souls. Jen taught me to love, to listen, to give and to believe in others and myself. I’ve never been as happy as I was during this time."

However, the ups and downs of cancer journeys eventually take a toll. Having support is vital, but that doesn't mean everyone will understand or be able to be there the way we might hope.

cancer, breast cancer, chemotherapy, cancer treatment, photography, angelo merendino Losing hair is a common side effect of cancer treatment.Angelo Merendino

cancer, breast cancer, chemotherapy, cancer treatment, photography, angelo merendino Angelo and Jennifer decided to document her cancer journey.Angelo Merendino

“Throughout our battle we were fortunate to have a strong support group but we still struggled to get people to understand our day-to-day life and the difficulties we faced…

Sadly, most people do not want to hear these realities and at certain points we felt our support fading away.”

cancer, breast cancer, chemotherapy, cancer treatment, photography, angelo merendino Cancer can be lonely sometimes. Angelo Merendino

"People assume that treatment makes you better, that things become OK, that life goes back to 'normal,' Angelo wrote. "There is no normal in cancer-land. Cancer survivors have to define a new sense of normal, often daily. And how can others understand what we had to live with everyday?"

cancer, breast cancer, chemotherapy, cancer treatment, photography, angelo merendino Not everyone understands the journey.Angelo Merendino

cancer, breast cancer, chemotherapy, cancer treatment, photography, angelo merendino They captured the ups and the downs. Angelo Merendino

cancer, breast cancer, chemotherapy, cancer treatment, photography, angelo merendino They also captured the love and heartbreak.Angelo Merendino


“When people see these photographs, I hope they see life before death,” Angelo writes. “I hope they see love before loss.”


cancer, breast cancer, chemotherapy, cancer treatment, photography, angelo merendino Small joys are part of the journey.Angelo Merendino

cancer, breast cancer, chemotherapy, cancer treatment, photography, angelo merendino Celebrating Jennifer's 40th birthdayAngelo Merendino

cancer, breast cancer, chemotherapy, cancer treatment, photography, angelo merendino Having a support system makes a big difference. Angelo Merendino

cancer, breast cancer, chemotherapy, cancer treatment, photography, angelo merendino Every photo tells a story.Angelo Merendino


cancer, breast cancer, chemotherapy, cancer treatment, photography, angelo merendino There is love in every image.Angelo Merendino


cancer, breast cancer, chemotherapy, cancer treatment, photography, angelo merendino And then the after began.Angelo Merendino

Jennifer passed in 2011, and Angelo has had his own long healing journey in the years since. He told the Susan G. Komen Foundation in 2022 that finding a therapist who had lost a spouse helped him a lot.

“Healing has been an ongoing thing. I don’t want to forget how much it hurts, because I think the other side of that is how much I loved Jen, and how much she loved me,” Angelo said. “I try to remember how fortunate I am to be alive and to not take for granted all the things that I have in my life.”

cancer, breast cancer, chemotherapy, cancer treatment, photography, angelo merendino Jennifer's tombstone reads "I loved it all." Angelo Merendino

“If you’re going through this, keep moving forward,” Angelo said. “Be graceful with yourself. Know you you’ll find joy again. Something as simple as a sunset will make you more thankful than anything. There’s still so much life to live. Out of honor to Jen, I have to live my life again.

This article originally appeared thirteen years ago.


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black lab (left. Handwritten letter (right)

If you've lived your whole life with a dog, a home has to feel pretty empty without one. Your heart has to feel like there's something missing as well. When Jack McCrossan, originally from Scotland, moved to Bristol, England with his three friends, they were bummed out to learn that their landlord didn't allow dogs.

So when they saw a beautiful black Sheprador (a German Sheppard Lab mix) in their neighbor's window, they knew that had to become buddies with her. They wrote the dog's owner, Sarah Tolman, a letter asking to arrange a play date with the dog. "If you ever need someone to walk him/her, we will gladly do so," they wrote.


"If you ever get bored (we know you never will, but we can dream), we are more than happy to look after him/her. If you want to come over and bring him/her to brighten our day, you are more than welcome. If you want to walk past our balcony windows so we can see him/her, please do," the letter continued.

"We hope this doesn't come too strong, but our landlord won't allow pets, and we've all grown up with animals. The adult life is a struggle without one," they wrote. "Yours sincerely, The boys from number 23," the letter concluded.

Soon after, the boys in 23 received a response from the dog herself, Stevie Ticks, accepting the offer. However, it may have been written by her human, Sarah Tolman. In the letter, Stevie shares a bit about herself, saying she's two years and four months old, was adopted in Cyprus, and that she's "very friendly and full of beans." (The boys shouldn't worry about a gassy hound, in England, "full of beans" means lively.)

"I love meeting new people and it would be great if we can be friends. I must warn you that the price of my friendship is 5 x ball throws a day and belly scratches whenever I demand them," the letter continued. A few days later, the boys got to meet Stevie.

"Meeting Stevie was great!" McCrossan told Buzzfeed. "She was definitely as energetic as described. We got to take her for a walk and she wouldn't stop running!"

Tolman thought the boys' letter was a fantastic gesture in an era where, quote often, neighbors are strangers. "In a day and age where people don't really know or speak to their neighbors, it was really nice for them to break down that barrier," she said. After the story went viral, she saw it as an opportunity for people to share their love of dogs with the world. "My mother and I are amazed at all the love we've received from around the world these past few days," Tolman wrote as Stevie. "If you have a doggo in your life, share that love with those around you."

A lot has changed since this story first warmed hearts around the globe. The boys have since moved away, but as of September 2024, Stevie is around 8 years old and still living her best life. Recently, she even made it to the doggie wall of fame at her local coffee shop.

In the years since this story first went viral, pet-sharing and neighbor dog borrowing have actually become more common, especially in cities where landlords restrict pets. Several platforms (like BorrowMyDoggy) and community groups now exist to pair dog owners with trusted neighbors who want occasional playtime, walks, or dog-sitting without having to own a pet. It’s a small but growing trend that reflects how deeply animal companionship is needed—even for people who can’t adopt a dog full-time. In many apartment buildings, these kinds of informal arrangements help reduce loneliness, build community, and give non-owners the emotional benefits of living with pets.

Just goes to show the power of a dog's love…even if that dog isn't your own.

This article originally appeared six years ago.