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Being a parent may be 'hard,' but these moms have a better way to define the experience

The words we use can have a big effect on our attitudes as parents.

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via Helena Lopes/Pexels

A mother holding her baby.

If there's one thing you learn raising multiple children all the way to adulthood, it's that parenthood is humbling. It's many other things, too—wonderful, joyful, delightful, frustrating, confusing and tiring—but humbling might top the list.

When you're in the early years of your parenting journey, humility hasn't always set in yet, which is how a debate between moms about whether or not parenting is hard got sparked on social media.

It began when a mom of four kids under 7 wrote on X, "So many parenting books talk about how incredibly hard parenting is. However that had just not been my experience at all. My kids are 1.5-7, I have four, and there are certainly difficult moments, but I would not describe parenting itself as being hard. Am I alone in this?"

Is parenting as hard as people say it is?

People began sharing their experiences, explaining that they thought parenting was easy too until they had a more difficult kid. Some parents said that if moms think parenting is easy it just means they have easy kids or a lot of help. Some said that if parenting is hard for you, it's a skills or attitude issue, which prompted some heated debate about how much of your parenting experience is within your control.

Many of the people who claimed that parenting was easier than they expected have small children only. That explains part of their thinking, especially if they have relatively easy young ones. But it's also a reflection of how the parenting discourse has shifted to become more raw and unfiltered in recent years, largely thanks to the mommy blogging era. Two decades ago, when I was raising my own small children, blunt honesty about the challenges of parenting came as a breath of fresh air to those of us who had only ever heard about how wonderful motherhood was. Now "real talk" has been the norm for a whole generation, probably swinging the pendulum to the other side, bombarding young parents with messages about how hard parenting is.

There's something to be said for expectation. If you go into motherhood expecting it to be hard, it may not be as difficult as you imagined. If you go into motherhood expecting it to be all giggles and cuddles, you'll be in for a rude awakening. Messaging makes a big difference on that front.

What do people mean when they say parenting is hard?

Of course, there's also the fact that "hard" is completely subjective. How do you measure that? Some moms who said parenting is not that hard said things along the lines of, "There are hard moments and sometimes it's frustrating and it's definitely tiring, but it's not hard." But some of us would absolutely equate "frustrating" and "tiring" with hard. So some of this is just semantics.

All "hard" really means is "requiring much effort or skill," which I imagine most people would agree parenting requires. However one of the above moms implied that if parenting is hard, it means you're not good at it, which understandably rubbed some people the wrong way. Same with the idea that attitude is most of what makes parenting hard.

But whether parenting is hard or not isn't even the right question. The question is whether hard = bad. I would argue it absolutely does not. In fact, I think "parenting is hard" is totally compatible with "parenting is delightful" and "parenting is enjoyable." Parenting being hard doesn't negate the joy and the wonder of it all.

Running a marathon is hard, but people still choose to do it because they love to run and because they enjoy the challenge. It's exciting and exhilarating and exhausting, all at the same time. The effort—the hard—is a big part of the experience.

Tending a farm is hard work, and it's celebrated as such. It seem strange to imply that saying "parenting is hard" must mean there's some sort of moral failure happening. Isn't hard just the nature of it?

Is parenting really supposed to be easy?

Parenting isn't meant to be impossible or torturous, but I don't think it's supposed to be a breeze, either—at least not if you're trying to do a good job. Being a bad parent is easy, at least for a while, but good parenting takes continuous, conscientious effort. There are a million circumstances, from age and stage of development, to individual temperament and family support, to your own upbringing and expectations of parenting, that can make it easier or harder. But until you've done the full arc of raising multiple children through to adulthood, you simply don't know what unexpected surprises might be in store. Humility can be chosen early on or forced upon you later, but I've yet to meet a veteran parent who hasn't been humbled by parenting somewhere along the way.

When my children were little, I had a completely different perspective on parenting than I do now that I have two young adults and a teen. Different parents find different parts of parenting difficult, and again, that's not bad. I love being a mom. Motherhood has been the greatest gift of my life and I adore my relationship with my incredible kids, but it was—and still is, in some ways—hard to be a parent. There's no way around that and I feel zero shame in saying it. The hard work of sowing good character, watering their hearts and minds, weeding out negative influences and nurturing them as individuals has allowed us to reap the fruits of our labor in a beautiful family life.

Perhaps those who find parenting "easy" just have their own interpretation of what "hard" or "difficult" means. Or perhaps they haven't hit a hard stage of parenting yet. Or maybe they really did hit the jackpot combo of easy kids and tons of support and that won't ever change. Who knows. All I know is that parenting well is hard, but that hard and great and joyful and wonderful can all totally go hand in hand.

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Neuroscientists say a simple trick will help you learn any new skill a lot faster

Learning a new skill? Here's how to quickly level-up.

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via Andrea Piacquadio/Pexels

A woman learning how to play guitar.

Learning a new skill, such as playing an instrument, gardening, or picking up a new language, takes a lot of time and practice, whether that means scale training, learning about native plants, or using flashcards to memorize new words. To improve through practice, you have to perform the task repeatedly and receive feedback so you know whether you’re doing it correctly. Is my pitch correct? Did my geraniums bloom? Is my pronunciation understandable?

However, a new study by researchers at the Institute of Neuroscience at the University of Oregon shows that you can speed up these processes by adding a third element to practice and feedback: passive exposure. The good news is that passive exposure requires minimal effort and is enjoyable.

"Active learning of a... task requires both expending effort to perform the task and having access to feedback about task performance," the study authors explained. "Passive exposure to sensory stimuli, on the other hand, is relatively effortless and does not require feedback about performance."


woman reading, woman book, young woman, studying, new skills A woman reading a book.via Canva/Photos

How to pick up new skills faster?

So, if you’re learning to play the blues on guitar, listen to plenty of Howlin’ Wolf or Robert Johnson throughout the day. If you’re learning to cook, keep the Food Network on TV in the background to absorb some great culinary advice. Learning to garden? Take the time to notice the flora and fauna in your neighborhood or make frequent trips to your local botanical garden.

If you’re learning a new language, watch plenty of TV and films in the language you are learning. The scientists add that auditory learning is especially helpful, so listen to plenty of audiobooks or podcasts on the subject you’re learning about.

But, of course, you also have to be actively learning the skill as well by practicing your guitar for the recommended hours each day or by taking a class in languages. Passive exposure won't do the work for you, but it's a fantastic way to pick up things more quickly. Further, passive exposure keeps the new skill you're learning top-of-mind, so you're probably more likely to actively practice it.

What is passive exposure?

Researchers discovered the tremendous benefits of passive exposure after studying a group of mice. They trained them to find water by using various sounds to give positive or negative feedback, like playing a game of “hot or cold.” Some mice were passively exposed to these sounds when they weren't looking for water. Those who received this additional passive exposure and those who received active training learned to find the water reward more quickly.

gardening, woman gardening, gardening shears, leaning gardening, weeds A woman tending to her garden.via Canva/Photos


“Our results suggest that, in mice and in humans, a given performance threshold can be achieved with relatively less effort by combining low-effort passive exposure with active training,” James Murray, a neuroscientist who led the study, told University of Oregon News. “This insight could be helpful for humans learning an instrument or a second language, though more work will be needed to better understand how this applies to more complex tasks and how to optimize training schedules that combine passive exposure with active training.”

The one drawback to this study was that it was conducted on mice, not humans. However, recent studies on humans have found similar results, such as in sports. If you visualize yourself excelling at the sport or mentally rehearse a practice routine, it can positively affect your actual performance. Showing, once again, that when it comes to picking up a new skill, exposure is key.

The great news about the story is that, in addition to giving people a new way to approach learning, it’s an excuse for us to enjoy the things we love even more. If you enjoy listening to blues music so much that you decided to learn for yourself, it’s another reason to make it an even more significant part of your life.

- YouTube www.youtube.com

This article originally appeared last year.

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Man returns his beloved childhood book to the library after finding it on the other side of the world

It was 36 years overdue.

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Fairfax County Public Library/Facebook

A man returned a library book his parents had checked out for him in 1989, when he was 5 years old.

Most of us have returned an overdue library book or two in our lifetimes, but probably not one that went several decades past its due date. Books that have been missing from the library for that long are usually destroyed or long lost, fated to never make their way back home.

That was not the case for a copy of Harry the Dirty Dog that was returned to the Chantilly Regional Library in Virginia on Thanksgiving weekend 2025. The children's book had been checked out 36 years earlier by the parents of Dimitris Economou, who was five years old at the time. The Fairfax County Public Library shared a photo of the book and the handwritten note that accompanied it on their Facebook page.

The note read:

library book, children's book, harry the dirty dog, overdue library book, chantilly regional library The Fairfax County Public Library shared this photo on its Facebook page. www.facebook.com

“This book was checked out Nov. 6, 1989 by my parents who were diplomats based in DC at the time. They are now retired in Greece and I found this book on their shelves. It traveled the world and was well taken care of as you can see. And now it can find its way home.”

The library also wrote, "Thank you to Dimitris' parents for taking such good care of our book and to Dimitris for helping the book find its way back to our shelves."

According to Northern Virginia Magazine, Economou found the children's book on his parents' shelf when he took it down to read to his own son.

“I was reading it to my son, who is now seven years old,” Economou said, “As we got to the end, I realized it was a library book. … The moment I saw it, I felt like I had to return it. ...It just felt like the right thing to do.”

children's literature, kids books, library, public library, books, reading Some children's books never get old. Photo credit: Canva

It's never too late to return a library book

Economou's family had taken the book with them through many moves all around the world, from Syria to the Netherlands, to Japan, and finally ending up in Athens, Greece. So basically, Harry the Dirty Dog had a three-decade-long globetrotting adventure with the family until Economou discovered it.

Why return it after that much time? As Economou said, it was simply the right thing to do.

“People really care about library books, and most people really care about getting them back. And this kind of proves it, that they really cared about getting the book back to us,” library branch manager Ingrid Bowers told the Washington Post.

As far as fines for such an overdue book, Economou didn't need to worry. Chantilly Regional Library is a fine-free library, so Harry the Dirty Dog just got reshelved for other kids to enjoy.

library, librarian, public library, overdue books, books Librarians are the best.Photo credit: Canva

The timeless joy and wonder of the public library system

Public libraries are undeniably one of the greatest ideas human beings have ever come up with and one that we should never take for granted. Everything about libraries is a testament to humanity's faith in itself. The belief that people should have free access to knowledge, information, ideas, art, and entertainment is beautiful. Librarians trained to help you find whatever you are looking for are a gift. In many places, libraries now offer other useful items to borrow, such as power tools, kitchen appliances, gardening supplies, language classes, and museum passes. Libraries recognize needs and fill them, asking nothing in return except for people to bring things back.

Perhaps that's why Economou returning a book after 36 years felt like the right thing to do and makes us feel good in turn. Libraries trust us, collectively, to uphold our part of the agreement, which isn't a lot to ask when their part is so much greater. In exchange for getting to take home almost any book we can think of (plus whatever else they offer), we're supposed to bring them back. Even if it's been 36 years.

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Stanford researchers find a single question could be the key to changing someone's mind

Curiosity goes a lot further than we might think.

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Photo credit: Canva

How do you get someone to open their minds to another perspective?

The diversity of humanity means people won't always see eye to eye, and psychology tells us that people tend to double down when their views are challenged. When people are so deeply entrenched in their own perspectives they're refusing to entertain other viewpoints, what do we do?

Frequently, what we do falls into the "understandable but ineffective" category. When we disagree with someone because their opinion is based on falsehoods or inaccurate information, we may try to pound them with facts and statistics. Unfortunately, research shows that generally doesn't work. We might try to find different ways to explain our stance using logic and reasoning, but that rarely makes a dent, either. So often, we're left wondering how on Earth this person arrived at their perspective, especially if they reject facts and logic.

According to Stanford researchers, turning that wondering into an actual question might be the key.

discussion, debate, disagreement, conversation, communication, curiosity Questions are more effective than facts when it comes to disagreements.Photo credit: Canva

The power of "Tell me more."

Two studies examined how expressing interest in someone's view and asking them to elaborate on why they hold their opinion affected both parties engaged in a debate. They found that asking questions like, "Could you tell me more about that?” and ‘‘Why do you think that?" made the other person "view their debate counterpart more positively, behave more open-mindedly, and form more favorable inferences about other proponents of the counterpart’s views." Additionally, adding an expression of interest, such as, ‘‘But I was interested in what you’re saying. Can you tell me more about how come you think that?” not only made the counterpart more open to other viewpoints, but the questioner themselves developed more favorable attitudes toward the opposing viewpoint.

In other words, genuinely striving to understand another person's perspective by being curious and asking them to say more about how they came to their conclusions may help bridge seemingly insurmountable divides.

discussion, debate, disagreement, conversation, communication, curiosity Asking people to elaborate leads to more open-mindedness.Photo credit: Canva

Stanford isn't alone in these findings. A series of studies at the University of Haifa also found that high-quality listening helped lower people's prejudices, and that when people perceive a listener to be responsive, they tend to be more open-minded. Additionally, the perception that their attitude is the correct and valid one is reduced.

Why curiosity works

In some sense, these results may seem counterintuitive. We may assume that asking someone to elaborate on what they believe and why they believe it might just further entrench them in their views and opinions. But that's not what the research shows.

Dartmouth cognitive scientist Thalia Wheatley studies the role of curiosity in relationships and has found that being curious can help create consensus where there wasn't any before.

“[Curiosity] really creates common ground across brains, just by virtue of having the intellectual humility to say, ‘OK, I thought it was like this, but what do you think?’ And being willing to change your mind,” she said, according to the John Templeton Foundation.

discussion, debate, disagreement, conversation, communication, curiosity Curiosity can help people get closer to consensus. Photo credit: Canva

Of course, there may be certain opinions and perspectives that are too abhorrent or inhumane to entertain with curious questions, so it's not like "tell me more" is always the solution to an intractable divide. But even those with whom we vehemently disagree or those whose views we find offensive may respond to curiosity with more open-mindedness and willingness to change their view than if we simply argue with them. And isn't that the whole point?

Sometimes what's effective doesn't always line up with our emotional reactions to a disagreement, so engaging with curiosity might take some practice. It may also require us to rethink what formats for public discourse are the most impactful. Is ranting in a TikTok video or a tweet conducive to this shift in how we engage others? Is one-on-one or small group, in-person discussion a better forum for curious engagement? These are important things to consider if our goal is not to merely state our case and make our voice heard but to actually help open people's minds and remain open-minded in our own lives as well.

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People share 32 words they purposefully mispronounce to get a laugh out of others

"I used to call my dog 'furface' but I pronounced it like Versace."

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Photo credit: Canva

A woman laughing.

One of the most amusing things about the English language is wordplay. Also known as a play on words, it involves experimenting with sounds, spellings, and meanings for the sake of wit and humor. And there are few things funnier than deliberately mispronouncing English words.

Merriam-Webster notes that English is especially ripe for wordplay because its origins are an amalgam of different languages. "It's essentially a product of Anglo-Saxon aka Old English, Latin, Old Norse, and Anglo-French," it explains.

With so many dialectal influences, English has plenty of opportunities for funny pronunciations. On Reddit, people shared 32 words they deliberately mispronounce because it makes them (and others) chuckle.

- YouTube www.youtube.com

"I used to call my dog 'furface' but I pronounced it like Versace. She always smiled." - copingcabana

"I call people casseroles instead of *ssholes." - SentimentalTaterTot

"My wife is a pharmacist, I always say drug names incorrectly to annoy her. Omee prazolee, like it's an Italian dish." - Whitchit1, marsh283

"Baby because of Moira Rose [Schitt's Creek]. RIP." - Darius2112

"Porpoise instead of purpose. My Dad said it once and I will say it forever. It's fun and silly. People usually ignore it 🤷🏼♀️" - fortheloveofgodno

"Diabeetus, RIP Wilford Brimley." - Phoenix_Rising42069

- YouTube www.youtube.com

"A-A-Ron [Key & Peele]." - TwoDrinkDave

"Quesadilla - Kay suh dil uh - mainly Napoleon Dynamite." - anix421

"AirPods, I call them Air-buds because it triggers my grandkids." - Pristine_Explorer265

"Canadian here, I say 'aboot' when I'm around Americans." - Saucefire

"Fragile, as fra-gee-lay. Thanks to A Christmas Story." - goldimom

"Ess-cap-ayyyyy! Funny, it's spelled just like the word escape?" - InfinitiveIdeals

"Scissors. Pronounced skizzers." - NarrativeScorpion

"I pronounce the K in Knife. Sharp tools deserve sharp consonants, none of this silent letter nonsense." - captain_slackbeard

"Epitome -> epi-tome. Because I learned that word by reading and now because it annoys certain family members." - Ace_W

@dadlifejason

Bruh. I cant shake this no matter how hard i try. This is how it looks!!! #duet #funny #bruh

"I said Hermione (as in Granger) as her-me-own for ages before I realized." - rebekha

"Beeth-oven and So-crates. Be excellent to each other!" - NotSayingAliensBut

"I do the opposite and do testicles and molecules like they are the names of Ancient Greek heroes/philosophers." - TheOtterDecider

"Saxamaphone and trampopoline. Because Homer [Simpson]." - mr_dbini

- YouTube www.youtube.com

"I put the em-FAH-sis on the wrong syl-AH-bull [View from the Top]." - diogenes_shadow

"I like to say milestone such that it rhymes with minestrone. I also like to say ziggurat instead of cigarette. I just think it's funny, no other reason." - Tenocticatl

"Champagne. 🍾 Cham-pag-nee. Because it's Bugs Bunny style." - Necessary-Eye5319

"Trés-passing. 'There's only two of us, it doesn't say no dos-passing'." - DivineUnconvention

"Microwave as me crow wawv eh because funny. Nigella Lawson is shaking in her boots right now!" - Bubbly_Skin_8069, TheDriverEarist

"Hors d'oeuvres. Whores Dee Vours." - stedun

"Washedyoursister sauce [Worcestershire sauce]." - Mr_McGigglepants

"I used to mispronounce Persephone as Purse a phone to annoy my father. He was a fan of Greek mythology and even gave me a middle name based on one of the stories. Enough reason to want to annoy him." - metalmick

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The 'one simple fact' about life that gave Steve Jobs the courage to change the world

The same spark can live in all of us.

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Photo via Santa Clara Valley Historical Association/YouTube

Steve Jobs speaks to the Santa Clara Valley Historical Association.

Steve Jobs was one of the greatest minds of our time because he could anticipate what people would love before they even knew it themselves. By blending art and technology, he helped create era-defining products like the iPhone, iPod, iPad, and Macintosh computer. He also helped guide Pixar to change how we see movies.

Jobs once described the epiphany that led him to embrace out-of-the-box thinking in a 1994 interview with the Santa Clara Valley Historical Association. The message was simple: you're just as smart as the people who created the parameters of the modern world, so break them and see what you can create.

- YouTube youtu.be

The realization that changed his life

In the interview, Jobs revealed:

"When you grow up, you tend to get told that the world is the way it is and your life is just to live your life inside the world, try not to bash into the walls too much, try to have a nice family, have fun, save a little money. That's a very limited life. Life can be much broader, once you discover one simple fact, and that is that everything around you that you call life was made up by people that were no smarter than you. And you can change it, you can influence it, you can build your own things that other people can use. Once you learn that, you'll never be the same again."

"The minute that you understand that you can poke life and actually something will, you know if you push in, something will pop out the other side, that you can change it, you can mold it," Jobs continued. "That's maybe the most important thing. It's to shake off this erroneous notion that life is there and you're just gonna live in it, versus embrace it, change it, improve it, make your mark upon it."

steve jobs, iphone, jobs apple, apple iphone luanch, steve jobs conference, stete jobs speech, Steve Jobs holds an iPhone 4 at the 2010 Worldwide Developers Conference.Photo via Matthew Yohe/Wikimedia Commons

His advice applies to everyone

Jobs's realization is empowering because he argues that the people who came before us were no more special than we are today, and that we shouldn't live our lives constrained by their limitations. Traditions from years ago may no longer serve us, and pathways to success that once worked may not be as fruitful today. Nobody knows how to live your life but you.

He added that the average person has the intelligence to make big, significant changes that can improve the lives of many. In fact, with all the information and technology available today, individuals have far more tools than those who originally created the parameters by which we live.

steve jobs, iphone, jobs apple, apple ipad luanch, steve jobs conference, stete jobs speech, Steve Jobs introducing the iPad in San Francisco on January 27, 2010.Photo via Matt Buchanan/Wikimedia Commons

"I think that's very important, and however you learn that, once you learn it, you'll want to change life and make it better, cause it's kind of messed up, in a lot of ways," Jobs said. "Once you learn that, you'll never be the same again."

The beautiful thing about this realization is that Jobs wasn't trying to gatekeep being a changemaker but instead invited everyone to the party. His breakthrough was an admission that the world is never finished; it is only a rough draft that we can either keep perfecting or throw away and start something completely different.

Look around, what do you think we can improve that no one else has considered? That's how you start thinking like Steve Jobs, and after we lost him in 2011, it's clear we could use more people who see the world the way he did.

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