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Five Gen X values from the ’90s that can save today’s world

We're bringing "whatever" back.

1990s, gen x, '90s values

A mix tape from 1992.

A few weeks ago I came across an article about a kid who watches television at 1.5x speed so he can cram as much viewing in as he can. It seemed that his unquenchable desire to get through shows in the Golden Age of television meant he’d sacrifice the entertainment value of the show just to get to the end.

“Man, this guy would have been crucified in 1993,” I thought.

As a 45-year-old card-carrying member of Generation X (those born between 1965 and 1979), I remembered a time when nobody bragged about the amount of TV they watched. In fact, they bragged about not owning a TV. “I don't watch TV, man,” people would say. “It only exists to sell you stuff.”

This complete reversal on the social acceptance of gluttonous TV viewing made me wonder what happened to the values we were raised on as Gen Xers? We were taught that sincerity was for simpletons, everything corporate is evil, old school is always better than the latest and greatest, authenticity is king, conformity is death and there is nothing worse than being a sell-out or a poser.


Nobody would have ever referred to themselves as an “influencer” in 1991—that’s the definition of a sell-out.

“After writing this book, I’m back in the mindset of ’90s thinking, which is that nothing is worse than selling out,” Chuck Klosterman, author of “The Nineties: A Book,” told Esquire. “Nothing was more embarrassing in the ’90s than trying to convince people to like the thing you made."

Deep inside the heart of almost every Gen Xer is a deep-seated feeling of nihilism. We didn’t trust the corporations that laid off our parents or gutted their pensions in the ’80s. In fact, everything corporate was predatory. We didn’t have a lot of faith in family values because we were the first generation raised by single parents or in daycare. We didn’t care much about politics either. Back in the ’90s, Gen X’s aversion to politics was historic.

Of course, these are all generalities about a generation of nearly about 65 million people, but studies show that there are some definite hallmarks of being a Gen Xer.


According to a generational differences document circulated through the business community, Gen X’s core values are “skepticism,” “fun” and “informality.” They’re described as “self-reliant,” “independent,” “unimpressed with authority” and motivated by “freedom.”

In the young Gen Xer, the culture of the era “instilled a wariness and skepticism, and a kind of ‘figure it out for yourself’ mindset,” Paul Taylor, author of “The Next America: Boomers, Millennials, and the Looming Generational Showdown” told The Washington Post. And with that came a sense “that you don’t have to shine a light on yourself. You’re not the center of the universe.”

But things have changed since the ’90s when Gen X was coming of age. We live in an American culture that is fractured by political partisanship, fueled by a constant culture of outrage, crippled by a preoccupation with technology, plundered by greedy boomers and annoyed by overly sensitive millennials. All of this is happening while we face the greatest challenge of our times, climate change.

The answer to all of these problems is simple: admit that Gen X at one point had it right and if we followed its lead, we could reverse these terrible trends. OK, it might not fix all of our woes, but the way things are going now surely aren’t working. Plus, weren’t the ’90s great?

Also, with hat in hand, I must admit that this message is for Gen Xers as well. Many of us have lost our way by forgetting our disdain for authority and skepticism toward institutions. This is a call for us to remember what we once stood for and to fight back by doing what we do best—staying above the fray.

Gen X, it’s time to strap on your Dr. Martens boots and get back to fighting the “Battle of Who Could Care Less.” It’s time we collectively got our “whatever” back and showed the other generations how powerful dismissiveness can be.

Here are the top five Gen X values that we need to embrace again.

5.  Buying vintage items

Nothing was less hip in the early ’90s than wearing mall clothes. If you had any style you shopped at a thrift store and bought used duds from the ’70s and early ’80s and remixed them into something awesome. If you were into hip-hop or skating you shopped at the surplus store and rocked some super-durable Dickies or Carhartt gear. The mood of the times was totally anti-fashion. These days, we live in a world where fast fashion is killing the environment. By embracing the Gen X value of old-school cool, we can help the planet while looking much more fashionable in the process.

4. Corporate skepticism

In the early 2000s, people fell head-over-heels in love with smartphone technology and social media so quickly that nobody stopped and said, “Hey, wait a minute!” Now, we have a world where kids are depressed, the culture has become divided and nobody talks to each other in public anymore, they just stare at their phones. I can totally understand why young millennials and Luddite boomers would fall for the big-tech ruse, but sadly, Gen X was asleep at the wheel and fell victim, too. The generation that embraced the notion that TV rotted your brain needs to remind everyone to go outside and play in the sunshine or read a book. And if you read a book it should be by Bret Easton Ellis.

3. Just say “whatever”

Two of the most popular Gen X phrases were “whatever” and “talk to the hand (because the face don’t give a damn).” These may seem to be flippant responses but they are the correct way to deal with other people’s nonsense and in 2022, we have to deal with a constant barrage of it.

Somewhere along the way, people forgot that it’s even more powerful to ignore someone than to admit they got under your skin. In the world of social media, we unintentionally amplify the most wretched voices by subtweeting, commenting and liking the posts from the army of grifters fighting for our attention.

We also live in an era where many seem to be addicted to outrage. The quickest way to stop fanning the flames of outrage is with a simple, “whatever.” Like dogs distracted by squirrels, we’ve got our heads on outrage swivels these days. Throwing around the occasional “whatever” gives us the time and energy to focus on the problems that really matter and take action.

These days “whatever” matters more than ever.

2. Bring back snobbery

Good taste used to matter. In the 2000s, millennials decided that people have the right to like what they like and that it’s worse to judge someone’s personal taste than to have bad taste. Gen Xers based their entire personalities on taste and demanded integrity from artists and were rewarded by living in a time of superior films and music. These days, no one listens to new music and we’re stuck in a world dominated by comic book movies because no one stood up and shamed people for liking low-effort culture.

1. ​Political apathy

America’s political divide has calcified over the past decade because more and more people are basing their personal identities on their politics. This has created a culture where the dialog between liberals and conservatives has become a shouting match that only makes people dig their heels in further. It’s also created a culture in Washington, D.C. that has attracted a more debased form of politician and led to the gridlock that has halted any sense of progress. Sadly, Gen X has also been sucked into this vortex.

Things were a lot different in the ’90s. Back in 1999, Ted Halstead at The Atlantic noted that Xers “appear to have enshrined political apathy as a way of life.” He added that Gen Xers “exhibit less social trust or confidence in government, have a weaker allegiance to their country or to either political party.”

Compared to what’s going on in America in 2022, this type of apathy seems welcome. Back in the ’90s, taking a “chill pill” could solve everything. Wouldn’t it be great if everyone took one, and then we could open our ears and hearts and have some constructive discussions?

There was a common lament in the 1980s that the boomer hippies had sold out and became boomer yuppies. They went from being concerned with peace, love and the planet to stocks, bonds and conspicuous consumption. Gen X is now in its 40s and 50s and it’s fair to say that we've moved from being the outsiders to creating technological and political machines that are generating the type of conformity that we once railed against.

Now that Xers are at the age where we get to run the world for a few decades, it’s time to recommit to the core values that make us well … us. The great news is that as Gen Xers, it’ll be easy to get back to our roots because we were raised to ironically love the past.


This article originally appeared on 03.10.22

From Your Site Articles
ideas, homelessness, prodigy, social work, solutions
Photo credit: @ribalzebian on Instagram

Ribal Zebian is going to test a house he designed by living in it for a year.

Ribal Zebian, a student from the city of London in Ontario, Canada, already made headlines last year when he built an electric car out of wood and earned a $120,000 scholarship from it. Now, he's in the news again for something a little different. Concerned with homelessness in his hometown, Zebian got to work creating a different kind of affordable housing made from fiberglass material. In fact, he’s so confident in his idea that the 18-year-old plans on living in it for a year to test it out himself.

Currently an engineering student at Western University, Zebian was concerned by both the rising population of the unhoused in his community and the rising cost of housing overall. With that in mind, he conjured up a blueprint for a modular home that would help address both problems.


Zebian’s version of a modular home would be made of fiberglass panels and thermoplastic polyethylene terephthalate (PET) foam. He chose those materials because he believes they can make a sturdy dwelling in a short amount of time—specifically in just a single day.

“With fiberglass you can make extravagant molds, and you can replicate those,” Zebian told CTV News. “It can be duplicated. And for our roofing system, we’re not using the traditional truss method. We’re using actually an insulated core PET foam that supports the structure and structural integrity of the roof.”

Zebian also believes these homes don’t have to be purely utilitarian—they can also offer attractive design and customizable features to make them personal and appealing.

“Essentially, what I’m trying to do is bring a home to the public that could be built in one day, is affordable, and still carries some architecturally striking features,” he said to the London Free Press. “We don’t want to be bringing a house to Canadians that is just boxy and that not much thought was put into it.”

Beginning in May 2026, Zebian is putting his modular home prototype to the test by living inside of a unit for a full year with the hope of working out any and all kinks before approaching manufacturers.

“We want to see if we can make it through all four seasons- summer, winter, spring, and fall,” said Zebian. “But that’s not the only thing. When you live in something that long and use it, you can notice every single mistake and error, and you can optimize for the best experience.”

While Zebian knows that his modular homes aren't a long-term solution to either the homeless or housing crisis, he believes they could provide an inexpensive option to help people get the shelter they need until certain policies are reformed so the unhoused can find affordable permanent dwellings.

@hard.knock.gospel

What to buy for the homeless at the grocery store. 🛒 Most people get it wrong. After being there myself, these are the survival items that actually matter 💯 The 2nd to last one is about more than survival—it’s about DIGNITY. We are all one circumstance away from the same shoes 🙏 SAVE this for your next grocery run. 📌 IG@hardknockgospel Substack@ Outsiders_Anonymous #homelessness #helpingothers #kindness #payitforward #learnontiktok

Zebian’s proposal and experiment definitely inspires others to try to help, too. If you wish to lend a hand to the unhoused community in your area in the United States, but don’t know where to look, you can find a homeless shelter or charity near you through here. Whether it’s through volunteering or through a donation, you can help make a difference.

Friendship

An NFL reporter was criticized for consoling the losing coach, then fans came out to defend her

"You can call me fake all you want to, honey. I’ve been doing this a long time.”

reporters, journalists, tv, press conference, NFL, football, sports, coach, kindness, humanity

A reporter gave an NFL coach a pep talk after a loss, sparking a firestorm of criticism.

The Jacksonville Jaguars haven't won a playoff game in three years, and have just a handful of postseason victories in their short history. They have never been to a Super Bowl, making them just one of four teams in the NFL never to do so. That's why, after fielding one of the franchise's best teams in years, their latest quick playoff exit was a hard one for fans and the team itself to swallow. It was heartbreaking and gut-wrenching for nearly everyone in the Jacksonville area.

After suffering a narrow defeat at the hands of the Buffalo Bills this past weekend, head coach of the Jaguars Liam Coen took the podium to answer questions and accept accountability for the loss. Business as usual, despite how demoralized he was feeling.


One of the questions, however, was far from the usual fare. A Jacksonville Free Press associate editor named Lynn Jones-Turpin raised her hand and chose to use her time to give the coach words of encouragement instead of a hardball question.

"I’m going to tell you, congratulations on your success, young man," she said. "You hold your head up. You guys have had a most magnificent season. You did a great job out there today. You just hold your head up, OK? Ladies and gentlemen, Duval. You keep it going. We got another season. Much continued success to you and the entire team."

The warm, rousing words had a visible effect on Coen, who began beaming while nodding gracefully. "Thank you, ma'am," he said with genuine appreciation.

Talk about a legendary pep talk. You can watch the roughly 30-second moment here:

- YouTube www.youtube.com

The brief interaction was picked up by national sports reporters and celebrated as a wholesome moment of compassion between two professionals.

Adam Schefter of ESPN called it an "awesome" moment. His post highlighting the interview got nearly 20 million views on X.

Commenters found the compassionate exchange extremely refreshing coming from the usually cutthroat world of sports, where reporters and coaches spar and trade passive-aggressive barbs. They're often pitted against each other as enemies, with reporters seeking transparency and accountability and coaches just wanting to be left alone to coach. Coen and Jones-Turpin broke the mold—for one afternoon at least.

"Whoever she works for needs to give her a raise. We need more people like this in the world!" one wrote.

"This really is wonderful. It’s fun watching his facial gyrations while she talks to him like an aunty. You can see the kid in the man. Wonderful."

"Epically classy from that reporter. Not the finish they wanted, but this squad showed heart all year."

"This healed me and I’m not even a Jags fan" someone added.

While not strictly professional, the moment between Coen and Jones-Turpin was a rare thing of beauty. But that didn't stop the curmudgeons from questioning the reporter's professionalism and journalistic integrity.

Many fans (notably, of non-Jaguars teams) and members of legacy media were quick to point out that a reporter consoling a coach after a loss is not a good display of journalism ethics.

Hosts on Fox News Sports Radio said, "This is a No-No. She sounds like a fan."

Jemele Hill, a writer for The Atlantic, wrote on X, " It’s literally the first lesson you learn — you aren’t a fan. You can love sports. You can be a fan of competition and games. But you are absolutely not a fan," while expressing distaste at how Jones-Turpin handled the interaction.

AP reporter Mark Long, in a now deleted post, called the question "embarrassing" and questioned Jones-Turpin' credentials, calling her "fake news."

The back and forth between supporters appreciative of her words and people looking for journalists to hold a hard line in the sand became quite a kerfuffle in social media, racking up millions and millions of interactions.

Lynn Jones-Turpin was finally given a chance to respond in an interview on local Jacksonville news, and she defended herself beautifully: By not feeling the need to defend herself at all.

"It was just an overwhelming day. I can tell you that this entire city, this town, our team, our city, and our coach, we were overwhelmed. ... Coach came out, and he was just... emotions. He was totally immersed in his feelings. He had tears, he bit his lip."

She then had a chance to address her critics head on. "I don't take no offense to it. Listen, I've been in this business more than 25 years. I've interviewed from Barack Obama to Terry Bradshaw to Tiger Woods. He can say whatever he wants about fake news. I am a member of the Black Press," she said, adding that Black-run newspapers like hers have been around for longer than most modern media outlets. "Support the Black Press. You can call me fake all you want to, honey. I’ve been doing this a long time.”

Adding more context, journalist Phil Lewis writes, "The Black Press never agreed to conform to the mainstream media’s ideal of 'objectivity.' In fact, the first Black newspaper aimed to distinguish itself from other newspapers of its time. This is not to say the pursuit of truth isn’t important, but realizing that 'objectivity' has always reinforced white worldviews."

Jones-Turpin then joked that she was the new "grandma" or "auntie" of the team.

Especially after her earnest appearance and non-apologetic attitude for her approach, the support for Jones-Turpin has been far louder than the criticism.

In a way, coaches and the reporters who cover their teams are coworkers. They interact on a near daily basis, and while they butt heads frequently, they both do what they do out of a shared love for the sport and even for the city they work for.

The game is ultimately just a game, but the emotions and real-life stakes are very real.

When emotions are high, who's to say they're not allowed a brief moment of humanity and compassion for one another? There are far worse things happening in the world—that much is for certain.

party, chatting, likable, drinks small talk, men and women

A woman speaking with two men at a party.

When we think of someone likable, we often imagine a person with a big personality who's the life of the party. We conjure up images of social butterflies and people who keep everyone at the dinner party glued to their every word when they tell a story. The funny thing is, according to research, that's not really the case.

Studies show that the easiest way to make someone like you is to show interest by asking questions during the conversation and making it clear that you like them. People also really love those who come off as genuine.


Michael Gendler, a co-founder of Ultraspeaking, a platform that helps people master the art of public speaking, recently shared three "magic" phrases that make you more likable, all of which align with what science tells us.

Three phrases that make you more likable

Phrase 1: "Here's what really scares me..."

This phrase resonates with people because it shows you're genuine by admitting your vulnerability. "Man, talk about your feats, real fears, not like 'Oh, I'm scared I'm going to be too successful.' Tell us about something that actually scares you. Don't be guarded. Be open, and other people will appreciate that," Gendler says.

Phrase 2: "You know what I really like about you?"

This phrase makes people like you because it counters a psychological phenomenon known as signal amplification bias, which suggests we tend to overestimate how clearly we express our feelings to others. This means that, many times, when we think others know we like them, they may not be so sure. So a little assurance goes a long way toward showing them the feeling is mutual. "People love being complimented as long as it is genuine," Gendler says.


Phrase 3: "Tell me more"

As Dale Carnegie wrote in How to Make Friends and Influence People, the key to interacting with others is focusing on being interested in them rather than trying to impress them by being interesting. "Be interested, not interesting," Carnegie writes.

A Harvard study supports this, showing that when you first start speaking with someone, you should follow your first question with two more. People who do this are rated as much more likable than those who, after one question, shift the conversation to themselves. "People love feeling like what they're saying is interesting. So invite them to speak more," Gendler continues.


Don't forget to be genuine

Ultraspeaking's post is a breath of fresh air for those who aren't comfortable trying to impress others at parties, on dates, or in the office. The video shows that if you make people feel important, they're much more likely to like you in return. The key is that it has to come from the heart.

"Remember, don't just use these phrases and expect them to work," Gendler says. "They have to be genuine and open. That's what makes people likable."

Culture

The 'honk if you…' bumper sticker sparks spirited debate about what honking really means

"I am almost 80 and have never heard the second interpretation. That is ridiculous."

honk bumper sticker, bumper sticker, driving, car honking, internet debate, car horn
Photo credit: Canva, aleksandrkondratov (left, cropped) / rofapic (text box) / Aflo Images from アフロ(Aflo) (right, cropped)

What does the honking mean in a "honk if you..." bumper sticker?

Novelty bumper stickers come in many varieties: proud displays of solidarity, cultural and political co-signs, and even unhinged silliness. But if you ask someone to name a famous example, there's a good chance they'll choose one that starts with the phrase "Honk if you…"

What exactly are these stickers trying to express, though? If one reads "Honk if you love dogs," does honking simply mean you also love dogs? Apparently there are two very different schools of thought, and dozens of people went online to debate how we should be interpreting these seemingly simple messages.


- YouTube www.youtube.com

Fandom or snark?

"So what I've heard is that those 'honk if you like ice cream🍦' license plates can be read two different ways," one user wrote on Reddit. "1. The idea is that this person is broadcasting that they like this particular thing a lot. 2. It's kind of a joke that they're going to ignore you honking at them, because you must just be responding to the bumper sticker, not saying they're a bad driver. It's meant to be kinda snarky."

The responses seem roughly split 50/50, with tons of people expressing their shock in both directions. Here are some of the top comments:

"Not sure if it's bulls--- or not but I have never until this moment considered option 2"

"I am almost 80 and have never heard the second interpretation. That is ridiculous."

"I always thought of it the first way, it was recently explained to me to be the second—I forget which show I was watching, maybe Gilmore Girls, and she was doing an experiment to honk at people who have 'honk if you like _____' stickers and the drivers would get mad at her for honking. So she was theorizing that people who have those types of bumper stickers don't actually want you to honk at them. Which I guess makes it option two in reality and that's the joke."

honking, car honking, car horn, honk debate, bumper sticker Someone honks a car horn. Photo credit: Canva, rattanakun

"Yeah I always took it the first way. 'I like ice cream and I want to get excited about it with other people who also like ice cream!' And I always thought it was stupid. Never even considered it the other way, which is also stupid."

"I've never considered it to be anything other than a person broadcasting their fandom."

"I always thought it was just a poll type thing until recently lol I learned of the #2 option. So bizarre"

"That's correct. It's meant to be interpreted the second way. It's a joke that if they are honking at you for driving poorly, you will ignore and assume they like pizza or whatever the sticker says."

"I think this is historical revisionism. I never heard definition #2 until a couple years ago. I've always taken it as definition #1."

"Hi. I have always seen the 2nd interpretation, because the first one makes no sense. Honking is not like making small talk in line at the grocery. Nobody wants every car to honk at each other to communicate their likes and dislikes."

"I've only seen the second explanation on social media in the last few months, which leads me to believe it's another TikTok originating thing along the lines of trying to redefine what '9 to 5' means."

@ellaellaw

Replying to @WILL (hozier’s version)

"It took me a really long time to grasp"

As for the TikTok mention, that user could be referring to a viral post from content creator Ella, who explained the second interpretation. "It took me a really long time to grasp," they said. "It's more like a 'ha, the joke's on you' from the car that you're honking at with that sticker on."

Thousands of other users weighed in with their reactions, including many instances of the popular response "WHAT?"

On a related note, lots of people have recently experienced a "today years old" learning moment related to a specific "honk" bumper sticker. In a Reddit thread, one user admitted, "I just realized the phrase 'honk if you're horny' is a pun about horns," and they weren't the only one making that realization. "I even hear this phrase a lot," someone added, "but never made the connection."

negativity, thumbs down, man in suit, judgement, no good, bad

A man giving a big thumbs down.

Everyone has that person in their life who casts everything in a negative light. You go out for a great meal, only to hear them complain about the service. They never highlight anyone's positive qualities, just their faults, and the only joy they seem to get comes from putting down the things you love.

It's like they are programmed to be antagonistic about absolutely everything. The problem is that, whether they're friends, family members, or co-workers, we're stuck dealing with people who drain our energy and have a knack for ruining a good time.


Fortunately for us, communication expert Jefferson Fisher recently shared a three-step reset method on YouTube for dealing with these impossible people. Fisher, who has become massively popular on social media, offers tips "to help people argue less and talk more."


How to deal with negative people

Here is Fisher's three-step reset method for dealing with negative energy:

1. Don't absorb the negativity

"Don't absorb what they said," Fisher says. "Instead, we're going to call it out. You're going to say it out loud. That means when you claim it, you control it. Meaning, you control your own reactions to it. That's the takeaway there."

Examples include:

"This feels tense."

"This feels heated."

"I'm sensing some negativity."

2. Call out the truth, not the tone

"When that happens to the negative energy, you're going to send it right back by having them repeat it," he says. "How? It's very similar to how I recommend handling insults. See, they can't repackage it in the same way again when you ask them to repeat it the same way. They can't say it the same way. Then they just look terrible."

@arnaldo.sifre

Master Negative Energy_ React to Truth, Not Tone Discover the simple but powerful technique Jefferson Fisher uses to stop negative energy without arguing or escalating. Instead of reacting to someone’s tone, you focus on the truth behind their words. The method? ➡️ Ask them to repeat what they said. Most passive-aggressive people cannot package their negativity the same way twice. When they repeat it, the tone weakens and the truth comes out. If it’s still negative, calmly ask again: “I need you to say that again—better.” This forces clarity, removes hostility, and shifts the power back to you. Stop reacting to tone. Start uncovering truth. Transform every interaction starting today. #fyp #CommunicationSkills #JeffersonFisher #ConfidenceTips #EmotionalIntelligence #StopNegativity #PassiveAggressive #BetterConversations #MindsetMatters #HealthyBoundaries #LifeSkills #SpeakUp #PersonalGrowth #RelationshipSkills #foryourpage

3. Protect your presence

"You cannot control another person's mood," he adds. "You cannot make somebody happier. That is their choice. … Big takeaway: you are making sure that your mind acknowledges the negative energy, but it neither matches it nor tries to attach to it. That's the difference. That's how you handle the negative energy."

Here's the whole video:

- YouTube youtu.be

Why are some people so negative?

A primary reason some people are overwhelmingly negative is that they are extremely fearful and hyperfocus on the negative aspects of life.

"In brief, almost all negativity has its roots in one of three deep-seated fears: the fear of being disrespected by others, the fear of not being loved by others, and the fear that 'bad things' are going to happen," Raj Raghunathan, PhD, writes in Psychology Today.

Humans also have a negativity bias, which means we're more primed to respond to negative than positive stimuli. That's why we remember insults far more often than praise and are more likely to recall negative moments than positive ones.

Why all the negativity? It's a survival technique. People who can detect danger and harmful situations are much more likely to survive than those who focus on the positive. Unfortunately, we sometimes have to make a conscious effort to see the good in the world.

Even though negative people can be a burden to be around, taking Fisher's advice and refusing to let them affect our presence can turn them into a reminder to reset and refocus on the positive in life.