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Modern Families

Exhausted mom posted a letter begging her husband for help. And then it went viral.

An open letter by Celeste Yvonne shows overwhelmed mothers how to ask for support.

viral, parenting, motherhood, communication, relationships, blogger

Photo via Celeste Yvonne, used with permission.

Celeste Yvonne wrote a letter to her husband asking for help.

Taking care of a newborn baby is mentally, physically, and spiritually exhausting. For the first four months (at least!), new parents have to dedicate every part of themselves to caring for this young life.

There's little time for self-care during this chaotic period, let alone a moment to be fully present with a partner.

A blogger who goes by the name Celeste Yvonne was the mother of a toddler and a newborn and wrote a revealing open letter to her husband asking for more help with their children.

It went viral in 2018 because it paints a very real picture of what it feels like to be a mother who feels stuck doing everything. And the message still resonated deeply today.

It's also important because it gives specific ways for parents to support each other.

Dear Husband,

I. Need. More. Help.

Last night was hard for you. I asked you to watch the baby so I could go to bed early. The baby was crying. Wailing, really. I could hear him from upstairs and my stomach knotted from the sound, wondering if I should come down there and relieve you or just shut the door so I could get some desperately needed sleep. I chose the latter.

You came into the room 20 minutes later, with the baby still frantically crying. You placed the baby in the bassinet and gently pushed the bassinet just a few inches closer to my side of the bed, a clear gesture that you were done watching him.

I wanted to scream at you. I wanted to launch an epic fight that very moment. I had been watching the baby and the toddler all damn day. I was going to be waking up with the baby to feed him all damn night. The least you could do is hold him for a couple of hours in the evening to I can attempt to sleep.

Just a few hours of precious sleep. Is that too much to ask?

I know we both watched our parents fulfill the typical mother-father roles growing up. Both our mothers were the primary caretakers and our fathers were relatively hands off. They were excellent dads, but they weren't expected to spend a significant amount of time changing diapers, feeding, caring, and tending to the kids. Our mothers were the superwomen who maintained the family dynamics. Cooking, cleaning, and raising the children. Any help from dad was welcome, but unexpected.

I see us falling into these family dynamics more and more each day. My responsibility to feed the family, keep the house clean, and take care of the kids is assumed, even as I return to work. I blame myself for most of it too. I have set the precedent that I can do it. And in truth I want to. No offense, but I'm not sure I want to know what a week's worth of dinner would look like with you in charge.

I also see my friends and other moms doing it all, and doing it well. I know you see it, too. If they can manage it, and if our mothers did it so well for us, why can't I?

I don't know.

Maybe our friends are playing the part in public and secretly struggling. Maybe our moms suffered in silence for years and now, thirty years later, they simply don't remember how hard it really was. Or maybe, and this is something I berate myself over every single day, I'm just not as qualified for the job as everyone else. And as much as I cringe just thinking it, I'm going to say it: I need more help.

Part of me feels like a failure for even asking. I mean, you do help. You are an amazing father, and you do a great job with the kids. And besides, this should come easy to me, right? Motherly instincts, no?

But I'm human, and I'm running on five hours of sleep and tired as hell. I need you.

In the morning, I need you to get our toddler ready so I can care for the baby and make everyone's lunches and drink a cup of coffee. And no, getting the toddler ready does not mean plopping him in front of the TV. It means making sure he went potty, giving him some breakfast, seeing if he wants water, and packing his bag for school.

At night, I need an hour to decompress in bed knowing our toddler is asleep in his room and the baby is in your care. I know it's hard to listen to the baby cry. Believe me, I know. But if I can watch and pacify the baby for the majority of the day, you can do it for an hour or two at night. Please. I need you.

On weekends, I need more breaks. Times where I can get out of the house by myself and feel like an individual. Even if it's just a walk around the block or a trip to the grocery store. And some days when I've scheduled swim class and play dates, and it seems like I've got it all under control, I need you to offer to lend me a hand. Or suggest I go lay down during the kids' naptime. Or start putting away the dishes without me suggesting it. I need you.

Lastly, I need to hear you're grateful for all I do. I want to know that you notice the laundry is done and a nice dinner has been prepared. I want to know you appreciate that I breastfeed at all hours and pump when I'm at work when it would be easier for me to formula feed. I hope you notice that I never ask you to stay home from your networking events and sport activities. As the mom, it's assumed I'll be home all the time and always available to care for the kids while you're out and I feed that assumption by, well, being home all the time.

I know it's not how our parents did it, and I hate even asking. I wish I could do it all and make it look effortless. And I wish I didn't need kudos for doing things most people expect from a mom. But I'm waving a white flag and admitting I'm only human. I'm telling you how much I need you, and if I keep going at the pace I've been on, I will break. And that would hurt you, the kids, and our family.

Because, let's face it: you need me, too."

After the video went viral, Yvonne filmed another thanking everyone who read it and addressed the biggest question it raised: Did the letter work?

"Yes, absolutely. Communication works — most of the time," Yvonne said with a laugh. "I told [my husband] all the stuff I'm doing on the back end that he had no idea about. And then he told me all the concerns and the stress he's been having as a new father. Things that I had no idea about. It was so eye-opening, and I'm so grateful for it.”

Watch the YouTube video below:

This article originally appeared on 3.20.18

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Bank of America

Bank of America

34 broken bones, a mural, and Buddy the Elf—what these three things have in common

"I never thought I’d run again. But against the odds, here I am."

34 broken bones, a mural, and Buddy the Elf—what these three things have in common

True

The Bank of America Chicago Marathon took place on Sunday, October 12th. Every runner who took on the enormous feat of 26.2 miles is truly an inspiration. We’re proud to share three outstanding stories about the power of community, giving back and crossing the finish line. Not only did they run an outstanding distance, but they each also gave back by fundraising for an organization that changes lives for the better.

Running a marathon is so much more than race day. It’s sticking to a schedule, getting enough rest, learning how to fuel your body for long distances, and—perhaps the most challenging of all—building mental resilience.

Meet Leanne: Running after 34 Bone Fractures

See on Instagram

Leanne was only 12 years old when during her middle school cross country practice, she fractured her right tibia, the shin bone in her leg. This wasn’t Leanne’s first time breaking a bone—it was actually her 34th fracture. After many years of being overlooked as "clumsy," Leanne felt immense relief and recognition when a doctor diagnosed her with brittle bone disease, an incredibly rare condition.

Lurie Children’s provided a care plan for Leanne to build strength and start running again. And as of October 12th, Leanne ran her second Bank of America Chicago Marathon. She said in an interview, “I never thought I’d run again. But against the odds, here I am, training for my second Bank of America Chicago Marathon... all because of Lurie Children’s.”

Leanne’s impressive journey is a testament to the incredible research of Lurie Children’s, where she gives back by volunteering at the hospital and running on its behalf. Talk about being a true inspiration.

Meet Everett: Running to Inspire Through Art

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Everett is an artist who creates beautiful murals around the city of Chicago. He uses his art as a tool for storytelling for community and connection.

In addition to being an artist, Everett is a runner. He ran the 2025 Bank of America Chicago Marathon on behalf of Peace Runners 773, a non-profit organization that strengthens the community of Chicago. In this video, we follow Everett on a run to visit some of his favorite murals. The run ends at Garfield Park, where Everett just finished a mural that he dedicated to the organization—symbolizing growth, strength and togetherness. Everett didn’t stop there.

While building his strength as a runner, Everett is strengthening his city of Chicago. Through his running and artwork, Everett has brought more awareness and resources to his community.

Meet Joseph: Running on Behalf of Special Olympics

See on Instagram

Joseph ran the Chicago Marathon on behalf of Special Olympics, dedicating each mile to one of 26 friends with a developmental disability. The last 1.2 miles were extra special. It was for one of his closest friends, Matt.

In this video, Joseph runs to Matt’s house. For every mile of this training run, he tells us a heartwarming anecdote about Matt. They met at camp and soon, Matt will be a groomsman in Joseph’s wedding. The duo even sends a Christmas card every year—most notably dressing up as Buddy the Elf and sharing a bowl of spaghetti with maple syrup (spoiler: it doesn’t taste good).

As Joseph runs, he says, “Before we get to Matt, a quick note about why I’m running on behalf of Special Olympics. Matt and I love sports. And so do many of my other friends. Donations help provide year-round sports training and competition for more than 20,000 people with intellectual disabilities across Illinois.”

Joseph is the perfect example of inspiration. Not only did he run an entire marathon, but he also found inspiration in his friends who love sports as much as he does.

Leanne, Everett and Joseph are three incredible people who have shown how much strength and perseverance it takes to run a marathon. Each runner is both empowering themselves and their community. Their dedication to the Bank of America Chicago Marathon shows that the people of Chicago have a passion for the city, their neighbors and their personal achievements.

Social skills expert shares 3 'magic phrases' that make you more likable

Sometimes, we need to overcommunicate how we feel about others.

vanessa van edwards, likability, communications skills, people skills, people laughing, good advice

via Press Release and Canva/Photos

Vanessa Van Edwards and people at a party.

A familiar misstep people make when trying to be likable is trying to impress others. They want to show they are funny, intelligent, and a great storyteller. They think being the life of the party is the road to likability. However, study after study shows that it’s a lot easier to be likable. All you have to do is show interest in others. To put it simply: If you like people, you will become more likable.

There’s a slight wrinkle in the notion that liking more people makes you more likable. Many people you like aren’t sure that you like them. The psychological phenomenon known as signal amplification bias says it best. We tend to overestimate how clearly we broadcast our feelings and intentions towards others. So, the person we like and who likes us may not know the feeling is mutual.

“We think our signals are obvious,” Vanessa Van Edwards told Steve Bartlett on the Diary of a CEO podcast. “If we like someone or if we’re having a good time, we think, ‘Oh, they for sure know it.’ They don’t.” Van Edwards is a communications expert and the author of Captivate: The Science of Succeeding with People.

To help people clearly communicate their feelings, Van Edwards suggests three “magic phrases” to show you care. Check out the video below.

View this post on Instagram

A post shared by The Diary Of A CEO. (@thediaryofaceopodcast)

Phrase 1: ‘I was just thinking of you’

“You think of a lot of people in your life all the time,” she said. “If you are thinking of someone and you can text them: ‘I was just thinking of you, how are you?’ I was just thinking of you, how’d that project go?’ was just thinking of you. It has been a while since we talked.’ You see a movie, you see a documentary, you see a matcha latte, you see a mug, you see a ceramic candle, and you’re like, ‘Ah, this made me think of you,’” Van Edwards said. “My text messages, my conversations, are full of actual moments where I was triggered to think of that person, actually,” she said, noting the importance of being genuine. “If you don’t think of someone, they’re not a person you need to have in your life.”

Phrase 2: ‘You’re always so …’

"So if you're with someone and you're impressed by them or they're interesting or they're funny, say, 'You always make me laugh. You’re always so interesting,’ or ‘You’re always so great in interviews.' Giving them a label that is a positive label is the best gift you can give someone, because it's fighting that signal amplification bias,” she continued.

Phrase 3: ‘Last time we talked, you mentioned …’

“We are so honored when we get brain space—that you remembered and you’re going to bring it up,” she said. “And you specifically bring up something that they lit up with, something they were like, ‘Ah, it was great, it was exciting, it was wonderful.’”

If studies show the more you like other people, the more likable you become, Van Edwards has the next logical step in becoming more likable. She makes it clear that, due to signal amplification bias, many people you like may not even know it. When we employ her three ways to be more likeable, though, we can let people know we like them without making them feel uncomfortable, thus establishing bond to build on.

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communication tips

A hotel worker tried to enter her room with a message about her car — but she didn't have one

This is why you always lock the extra latch.

hotels, women, safety, trafficking, safety tips, traveling, crime, culture, viral tiktok

Canva

Woman's frightening experience reminds everyone to lock hotel door.

Staying in a hotel feels safe. The doors are heavy and solid, the key cards don't have any identifying information on it (should you drop it), and most hotels will have security or at least front desk staff on site 24/7. However, it's still important for anyone traveling alone — especially women — to stay vigilant.

If you've ever stayed in a hotel, you know there's an additional lock you can latch as an added layer of protection. But sometimes weird things happen that make us rethink the comfort and security many of us take for granted.

TikTok user TayBeepBoop had a disturbing experience when a hotel front desk person attempted to enter her room while she was inside.

Some readers may find the story to be unsettling but it's a powerful reminder of exactly why situational awareness and caution are so important in today's world.

Tay, obviously frightened, uploaded clips from the event on her TikTok page, which has since garnered 6 million views. In the video, which is mostly the floor, door and bed, you can hear the man outside of her room knocking loudly asking to be let inside.

Tay asks the man repeatedly why he attempted to walk into her room using the hotel master key to which the man explains there's a problem with the woman's car. There's only one problem. Tay doesn't own a car and is only in town on business where she did not rent a car to get around town, relying only on other modes of transportation.

So, what the heck was the man doing at her door?

@taybeepboop
Replying to @dani klarić this was a really long and hard video to make, it was sort of traumatizing and I’m kind of freaked out about staying anywhere now and I dont leave my house much anymore tbh because I already was dealing with PTSD about my safety. I’m OKAY which is why im able to go through this footage now. I genuinely don’t want anything to do with this hotel, this is a PSA to stay safe and cautious. I don’t want people to go after this worker because I still don’t know what his intentions were and he could have just been trying to do his job

Tay was staying at the hotel alone and made sure to latch the additional lock on her hotel room door, which is the only thing that prevented this hotel staff member from getting into her room. Since the situation was so scary and went on for quite some time according to her video, she called friends on FaceTime to be a witness and help comfort her. Eventually the man leaves after repeated attempts to get the scared woman to open the door and Tay was able to get a male business partner to escort her safely to another hotel.

But the comments were filled with stories from women who have had similar experiences, and a few who had good safety tips.

hotels, women, safety, trafficking, safety tips, traveling, crime, culture, viral tiktok Take care to practice extra safety when traveling alone. Photo by Mario Heller on Unsplash

"Please never say you’re alone in the hotel. I know you were shaken but please please don’t rely on front desk call the police. I’m so glad you’re safe"

"A car smoking in a garage and he takes 30 minutes to go upstairs, harass you, and speak to you in the phone BUT NOT CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT?!"

"As a former front desk agent. I’m almost 100% sure it’s illegal for hotel staff to go into a room knowing someone in the room. Please contact hotel"

Many people explained the danger of admitting you're alone upon check-in, while other commenters sympathized with the woman not thinking to call the police right away. With people traveling more as COVID-19 restrictions subside, there could be a greater chance for things like this happening so it's best to be prepared and err on the side of caution when traveling alone.

Women on the Road has several tips for hotel safety including making sure your door lock works, putting a chair under the handle of the door or buying a rubber door stop. The site also highlights the importance of locking your windows if they open and not opening the door for people you don't know.

- YouTube www.youtube.com

Another site geared towards safety is Solo Female Traveler and it recommends getting a floor higher in the hotel to make it more of a hassle for someone from outside to break in. It, too, reiterates the importance of locking the additional lock in the hotel room while you're inside.

While it's statistically unlikely you'll be a victim of a hotel robbery or whatever was happening with Tay, her experience is a reminder to research hotels and practice caution when traveling. In the end, Tay was safe, and has a thriving business sharing home tips and hacks for her audience of almost 2 million followers.

The rest of us should remember: always lock the deadbolt or chain.

This article originally appeared three years ago. It has been updated.

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Gen Xers share 17 nostalgic dishes they ate growing up—and still make for dinner

From sloppy joes to pizza bread, these dishes still slap.

gen x, generation x, gen x meal, gen x food, gen x family meals

Image via Reddit

A family enjoys dinner during the 1970s.

Generation X (those born between 1965-1980) grew up eating classic Americana meals. During the 1970s, comfort meals like tuna casserole and salmon roquettes were popular meals.

Gen X also grew up eating some pretty unhinged (but all the more yummy) sandwiches. These meals are steeped in childhood nostalgia.

And to this day, Gen Xers are still fond of their favorite dishes they grew up eating. Together, they discussed on Reddit their most-loved home-cooked dishes that they still whip up, starting with sloppy joes.

Here are 17 iconic Gen X comfort meals to keep in mind the next time you make dinner:

@genx_shawn
🤤😂 Top 10 Things ONLY GenX Knows the Taste Of... #genx #over50club #genxtiktok #over40 #genxcrew #generationx #genxers #genxtok #over40club #over50

"Breakfast. We will have a 'breakfast for dinner' at least a couple times a month. Yum!" - fadeanddecayed, KddKc

"Pizza bread! My mom would cut Italian bread into pieces, put butter and garlic salt on them, then pour some spaghetti sauce on them, cover with mozzarella cheese, and broil for like ten or fifteen minutes. Super easy and quick to make and so tasty. I'm sure my mom loved that I was so into something that took roughly zero effort for her to make." - hornybutired

"Grilled cheese and soup." - reincarnateme

"Meat loaf. I use 2 pounds ground beef, replace bread crumbs with minute rice, add 1 pkg beef soup flavoring, chop an entire onion for it, and mix BBQ sauce into mixture. Oh, important: do not overmix! Place all ingredients into bowl, then mix quickly 10 or 12 swirls of a large spoon. Grease loaf pan, carefully place mixture in, pat down & bake about an hour. (Extra info: for even better flavor, mix the night before, pat into loaf pan, cover with plastic, put into fridge overnight. Remove from fridge about an hour before baking. BE SURE TO REMOVE PLASTIC WRAP! [Esp. If in Pyrex glass loaf pan])" - jehardt, AbbyM1968

"White guy tacos." - najing_ftw

"Skillet dinner. Kielbasa, bell pepper, onion, spuds in a cast iron pan. One dish. Easy peasy." - UnimportantOutcome67

- YouTube www.youtube.com

"Chicken pot pie or chicken ala king." - sattersnaps

"Fried catfish, greens, and red beans and rice." - User Unknown

"Shepherds pie, technically cottage pie if it’s ground beef. Homemade enchiladas, usually made as a layered casserole instead because I don’t have time to roll them. Pork chops with mashed potatoes and veggies." - XerTrekker

"Fried rice with chicken or pork leftovers." - AlternativeResort181

"Hot hamburgers: hamburger patty open face on Texas toast thickness bread, cover with fries then cover that with brown gravy. Wife's variation is hamburger patty over rice with brown gravy." - EnricoMatassaEsq

@past_archives
American Gen X Foods That Kids Today Can’t Understand#nostalgia #childhoodmemories #backtochildhood #90s #2000s #usa #80s #90skids #80schildhood #capcutforus #capcut #capcutpioneer #America

"Stuffed peppers. I make it much more easily by cooking it all in one large frying pan 'deconstructed'. Sauté onions garlic and ground beef, add cut up peppers, tomatoes or tomato sauce, sometimes a little spinach, then add separately cooked rice, salt and pepper and serve. It comes together pretty quickly and tastes just as good as stuffing and baking peppers in the oven." - Affectionate-Map2583

"Macaroni and cheese with cut up hot dogs. Seriously, that’s what I ate tonight." - Dazzling-Walrus9673

"Homemade Stroganoff casserole. Ridiculously easy to make. Ingredients:

1.25-1.5 lbs. Ground Beef
1 each of large white onion, green pepper, and red pepper
1 can mushroom pieces, drained and rinsed
12 oz. Bag of wide egg noodles
1 can cream of mushroom soup
16 oz. Sour cream
Worcestershire Sauce
Louisiana Hot Sauce
White or Black Pepper
Panko bread crumbs

To Make: Preheat oven to 360 degrees. Worcestershire, hot sauce, garlic powder, and pepper are all to taste, depending on how much flavor and punch you want it to have. Cook noodles per instructions. Drain. Peel and slice onion (not diced), core and cut peppers into strips Brown meat, onions and peppers along with liberal amount of Worcestershire; garlic, pepper, and hot sauce. Add mushrooms. Cook until meat is fully brown, onions are translucent and peppers are tender. Drain. Combine drained meat, etc. with whole can of soup, half of the sour cream. Gradually add noodles into the mix. Add sour cream as needed to maintain consistency. Add Worcestershire, hot sauce, and pepper to taste. Dump into large, deep Corning dish or whatever. Cover too with bread crumbs. Cover and bake for forty minutes." - CynfullyDelicious

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Hairstylist shares difference between Gen Z and Millennial salon goers with hilarious accuracy

It all comes down to "Hey girl" vs "Hey queen!"

millennials, Gen Z, salon, hairstylist, TikTok, viral video, Alexis Rex, Rex Artistry, hair trends, Y2K fashion, confidence, generational humor, subtle color, bold contrast, Olaplex, client behavior, social media, Maryland salon, pop culture, self expression

Photo by Anna-Ruth Folk on Unsplash

A hair stylist trims a man's hair

While millennials and Gen Zer’s often get lumped together as the “young group,” they are certainly not the same. (Although it is kind of hard to tell with all the Y2K fashion floating around.)

But speaking as a millennial, we definitely have different approaches to life, many of which seem to come down to a sense of self-assurance. That goes for shopping, socializing, self-expression…and even going to the hair salon, apparently.

Alexis Rex (@rex.artistry), hairstylist and owner of Rex Artistry Salon in Maryland, gave a brilliant (and hilarious) demonstration of some key personality differences between her millennial clients and her Gen Z clients in a now-viral TikTok video.

subtle color, bold contrast, Olaplex, client behavior, social media, Maryland salon, pop culture, self expression Each generation has its own salon swag. Photo credit: Canva

First, Rex played her Millennial Customer.

Millennial Customer gently knocks on the door and immediately expresses her gratitude. “Hey girl! So good to see you! So excited!”

But at the same time, Millennial Customer wants in no way to be an inconvenience, so she immediately comes back with, “Where should I put my purse? It's okay, I'm just going to shove it in my own personal space so it's not in your way. At all."

Never one to demand attention, Millennial Customer wants a very subtle hair color change. Really, "it shouldn't even look like I got my hair done.” Not “super bold,” not “in your face.”

Then after flooding the hair stylist with compliments, Millennial Customer (ever wanting to be a good student) will ask a bunch of follow-up questions about how to maintain the style.

@rexartistry Millennial V Gen Z getting their hair done #hairstylist #hairstylisthumor ♬ original sound - Alexis Rex | Hair Artist

Then, Rex played her Gen Z Customer.

Gen Z Customer bolts through the door with a “Hey queen!” like a hurricane (who has time to knock?!) and is ready to plop her stuff down anywhere. Unlike her millennial counterpart, Gen Z Customer is perfectly fine to take up space unapologetically and even show up with hair that “hasn’t been brushed in a month.”

Gen Z Customer also knows exactly what she wants, and it’s anything but subtle. “I wanna do like in-your-face, bold contrast…I wanna look like a different f**king person. Let’s do it.”

The confidence…it’s…palpable.

Gen Z Customer has a different approach to complementing her hairstylist: “Oh my god! F**king Queen! You did that! God I love you.”

No further questions. Gen Z Customer already knows her brand of hair care products, and it’s “Olaplex. All Olaplex.”

hairstylist, TikTok, viral video, Alexis Rex, Rex Artistry, hair trends, Y2K fashion, confidence, generational humor It can be hard asking for what you want at the salon if you're from the generation that has a hard time even speaking on the phone. Photo credit: Canva

Rex’s post quickly racked up 8.6 million views, generating literally tens of thousands of comments about how spot-on her imitations were.

Millennials in particular chimed in, many of whom couldn’t help but applaud its accuracy of depicting how millennials seem to constantly be apologizing for simply existing.

“I’m a millennial and once I missed the armhole for a sec when putting the cape on. I was convinced I had ruined the appointment,” wrote one person.

Another added, ‘I’m sorry for my hair. I’m sorry my hair takes so long. I’m sorry I had to move my head, omg I’m sorry. You offered me a drink? I will say yes. And then sorry.”

Many were also quick to applaud how Gen-Zers seemed to have no issues in this arena.

@rexartistry Enjoy the silence because it’s so loud #hairstylistlife #hairstylistoftiktok #millenialsbelike #millennial #hairstylisthumor #genz #genzhumor ♬ original sound - Alexis Rex | Hair Artist

“Gen Z just fully owning the ability to take up space,” one person commented.

"As a millennial I love Gen Z so much. They’re so free to be themselves and so open,” wrote another.

While there may be differences between generations, we can all learn something from one another. And we all enjoy getting our hair did.

By the way, Rex didn’t leave out her Gen X or Boomer clients. She has plenty videos of her imitating them, as well as some nifty style predictions on her TikTok, found here.

This article originally appeared last year.

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Popular

Finally, someone explains why everyone needs subtitles when watching TV

No, you're probably not losing your hearing, and it's not just the actors.

subtitles, why use subtitles, dialogue, sound mixing, movie audio, Austin Olivia Kendrick, Vox, hearing, TV speakers, mumblecore

Vox/YouTubeVox/YouTube

Someone watching a video of Pete Davidson on their phone with subtitles at the bottom

It seems everyone needs subtitles nowadays in order to "hear" the television. This is something that has become more common over the past decade and it's caused people to question if their hearing is going bad or if perhaps actors have gotten lazy with enunciation.

So if you've been wondering if it's just you who needs subtitles in order to watch the latest marathon-worthy show, worry no more. Vox video producer Edward Vega interviewed dialogue editor Austin Olivia Kendrick to get to the bottom of why we can't seem to make out what the actors are saying anymore. It turns out it's technology's fault, and to get to how we got here, Vega and Kendrick took us back in time.

They first explained that way back when movies were first moving from silent film to spoken dialogue, actors had to enunciate and project loudly while speaking directly into a large microphone. If they spoke and moved like actors do today, it would sound almost as if someone were giving a drive-by soliloquy while circling the block. You'd only hear every other sentence or two.

subtitles, why use subtitles, dialogue, sound mixing, movie audio, Austin Olivia Kendrick, Vox, hearing, TV speakers, mumblecore An old silent movie houseCanva

But with today's technology, microphones are so small they can be strapped just about anywhere on an actor. This allows the actor to move about the set freely and speak at a normal volume without worrying that their words won't be picked up.

So then why can't we hear them? Turns out it's super complicated…and also not.

"A lot of people will ask, 'Why don't you just turn the dialogue up?' Like, 'Just turn it up.' And...if only it were that simple," Kendrick said before explaining, "If you have your dialogue that's going to be at the same volume as an explosion that immediately follows it, the explosion is not going to feel as big. You need that contrast in volume in order to give your ear a sense of scale."

Sure, you may be thinking, well that kinda explains it, but why do the music and other cinematic noises sound like they're beating on your eardrum while the dialogue sounds like the actors are whispering every line? That doesn't seem very balanced. There's more to it, and again, it falls back onto technology.

subtitles, why use subtitles, dialogue, sound mixing, movie audio, Austin Olivia Kendrick, Vox, hearing, TV speakers, mumblecore Gif of Steve Carell saying "loud noises" via Giphy

In the video, they explain how our televisions are too thin to hold large speakers facing in the correct direction, and until this video, it didn't dawn on me that the speakers to my television are indeed in the back. No wonder we can't hear. The actors are quite literally talking to our walls.

And there's more. Check out the full explanation in the video:

subtitles, why use subtitles, dialogue, sound mixing, movie audio, Austin Olivia Kendrick, Vox, hearing, TV speakers, mumblecore YouTube

While it may be a confusing trend, there's a reason for it as Kendrick explains. And, some experts like the World Literacy Foundation note that watching television and movies with subtitles is especially beneficial for children. Studies have shown that simply putting on subtitles improves literacy for kids, and many actors support the practice. This is good news for those worried about the literacy crisis in America.

If subtitles help us "hear" and improve literacy, then I'm all for them.

This article originally appeared last year.

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