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Health

19 musicals that are not only catchy—they could help with dementia, according to science

Back in 2013, researchers in the U.S. stumbled upon a novel new treatment for dementia patients: listening to show tunes. Seriously.

musicals, theater, art, dementia, treatments
Photo by Jordhan Madec on Unsplash

A picture taken of the Broadway street sign in New York City.

Back in 2013, researchers in the U.S. stumbled upon a novel new treatment for dementia patients: listening to show tunes. Seriously.

A study of nursing home patients found that residents who sang show tunes — specifically from "Oklahoma!" "The Wizard of Oz," and "The Sound of Music" — demonstrated increased mental performance, according to a report in the New York Daily News:

"Researchers working with elderly residents at an East Coast care home found in a four-month long study ... that people who sang their favorite songs showed a marked improvement compared to those who just listened."

A similar study in Finland, cited in The Guardian, demonstrated that singing not only helped dementia patients feel better and focus, but actually improved certain types of memory as well.

Even better? There are tons of classic show tunes specifically about remembering.

Here are 23 tunes every Broadway fan needs to memorize for the day when it's not so easy to remember. It'll help to start brushing up now.

1. The one about remembering the good old days.

"Those Were the Good Old Days," "Damn Yankees"

If you're the devil in "Damn Yankees," that means the Great Depression, the Black Plague years, and when Jack the Ripper was running around. Good times!

2. The one about remembering a parade that probably never happened.

Any playlist of show tunes about memory has to include this standard from "The Music Man," in which Professor Harold Hill remembers the best day of his life, when "Gilmore, Liberati, Pat Conway, The Great Creatore, W.C. Handy, and John Phillip Sousa all came to town."

Whether or not any of it actually happened is ... up for debate, to put it mildly.

3. The one about remembering a really fun trip you took to a medium-sized Midwestern city.

"Kansas City," "Oklahoma"

"Oklahoma's" Will Parker is so psyched about his Kansas City vacation he can't help bragging about it to all the other cowboys. And why not? It's a neat city! Have you been to Joe's Kansas City Barbecue? Neither has Will Parker, since he was there in 1906, but you should totally go.

4. The one about remembering how fun it was to murder that guy that one time...

"Cell Block Tango," "Chicago"

...while glancing nervously over your shoulder to make sure Queen Latifah isn't around.

5. The one about remembering the questionable choices it's too late to go back in time and not make.

"Where Did We Go Right?" from "The Producers"

Looking back doesn't always go well for characters in musicals. It definitely doesn't for "The Producers'" Bialystock and Bloom, as they tear around their office wondering how their incompetently directed, poorly acted, aggressively pro-Hitler musical wound up becoming a massive hit despite their every attempt to make it fail.

6. The one about remembering the little things.

"I Remember/Stranger Than You Dreamt It," "Phantom of the Opera"

Perhaps the greatest testament to how emotionally transporting "Phantom of the Opera" is: Christine, removing the phantom's mask for the first time, can just straight-up claim to remember mist like, one mist in particular — and no one calls her on it ever.

7. The one about remembering the worst day of your life.

"The Barber and his Wife," "Sweeney Todd"

No character in musical theater is more nostalgic than Sweeney Todd, who, just moments after we meet him, croons this delightful ditty reminiscing about the time he was framed for a crime he didn't commit and banished from England so that an evil judge could rape his wife who subsequently poisoned herself.

A tune you can hum!

8. The one about remembering things differently than everyone else around you.

"Satisfied," "Hamilton"

Not sure if you've heard, but "Hamilton" is good, you guys.

After Alex and Eliza Schuyler meet and fall in love in "Helpless," Angelica Schuyler basically goes "Wicked" on her sister's song, recalling how agonizing it was watching her sister and the man who she herself is super into get together. But she sucks it up and buries it! Older siblings are the best.

9. The one about remembering that cute girl you just met like five seconds ago.

"Maria," "West Side Story"

A classic from "West Side Story." Sure, it's about remembering a meet-cute that literally just happened — Tony and Maria's orchestral-swell-assisted gaze across a crowded gym — but Tony is super jazzed about it, so it makes the list.

Gosh, I sure hope those crazy kids work out!

10. The one about remembering all the worst things from when you were a kid, and one kind-of-OK thing.

"At the Ballet," "A Chorus Line"

The ballet isn't that great, but it's better than devastating childhood trauma. Score one for the ballet! Thanks, "A Chorus Line!"

11. The one about remembering old hobbies.

"Dentist!" from "Little Shop of Horrors"

"Little Shop of Horrors'" Orin Scrivello, DDS, is just misunderstood. I mean, who among us didn't "shoot puppies," "poison guppies," or "take a pussycat and bash in its head" now and again as a kid? The '50s were a simpler time!

12. The one about remembering watching a dude die on the battlefield and feeling feelings about it.

"Momma Look Sharp," "1776"

47 years before "Hamilton" brought us the swaggery, ass-kicking side of the Revolutionary War, "1776" tore our guts out with this song, in which a courier to the Continental Congress recalls watching a mother comfort a young soldier as he dies at the battles of Lexington and Concord.

Hercules Mulligan does the guest rap. (Just kidding. There is no guest rap. It's just gorgeously somber for a while and then over.)

13. The one about remembering the best four years of your life.

"I Wish I Could Go Back to College," "Avenue Q"

Of course the sad-sack puppet man- and woman-children of "Avenue Q" want to go back to college! Who among us doesn't long for the days of term papers, humiliating romantic encounters, and crushing, debilitating debt? And meal-plan ice cream, too!

14. The one about remembering some A-plus advice from your best friend.

"Cabaret," "Cabaret"

Ladies and gentlemen, Sally Bowles from "Cabaret" is no fool! No matter how many lovers leave, or how much her career nosedives, or how nutty local politics get, she always remembers this important life lesson she learned from her good friend Elsie.

If only you had such a great, wise friend, maybe your outlook would be as good as Sally's. You could be so lucky!

15. The one about remembering last Christmas.

"Halloween," "Rent"

When it comes to the science of memory and cognition, "Rent" asks the big questions:

"Why are entire years strewn on the cutting room floor of memories? When single frames from one magic night forever flicker in close-up on the 3-D Imax of my mind?"

Poetic? Pathetic? We report, you decide.

16. The one about remembering everything and realizing how terrible it all was.

"Rose's Turn," "Gypsy"

Ah, yes. "Rose's Turn." The 11 o'clock number to end all 11 o'clock numbers in "Gypsy," the most musical of all musicals. Truly, there aren't many things more enjoyable than listening to Mama Rose replay the events of the last decade and change inside her own brain in a slow-motion nervous breakdown as the notion that her entire life has been completely worthless gradually dawns on her with ever-increasing dread.

Did I mention how fun musicals are?

Trivia time! You know that thing in music where trumpets go, "Ya da da da daaaa DA. Da DA da DA!" You know that thing? This is the song that thing comes from.

17. The one about remembering the first time you knew what you wanted to be when you grew up.

"Ring of Keys," "Fun Home"

There's nothing better than a song that makes you want to shout: "I am so glad I'm watching a musical instead of a basketball game right now." This moment in "Fun Home," where Alison recalls seeing a delivery woman — the first person who looked like the woman she felt like — is really, really one of them.

"This is a song of identification that is a turning moment, when you think you’re an alien and you hear someone else say, 'Oh, me too,'" composer Jeanine Tesori told Variety. "It’s a gamechanger for Alison. And that’s just Musical Theater 101."

...And the entire audience bursts into happy tears forever.

18. The one about remembering a nice dream you dreamed.

"I Dreamed a Dream," "Les Misérables"

When your life isn't going so great, it's good to remember the positive! Things didn't exactly go super well for Fantine in "Les Mis." But, hey, she had a pretty good dream once!

19. The one about remembering your single greatest regret and vowing to never remember it again.

"Turn It Off," "The Book of Mormon"

What's the ticket to living as fun-loving and guilelessly as the Mormon elders in "The Book of Mormon?" Don't just bury those traumatic, scary, impure memories — CRUSH THEM, OK?!

20. The one about remembering a really successful first date.

"Sarah Brown Eyes," "Ragtime"

Ah, young love. Even in "Ragtime," a musical that features racism, state violence, attempted child murder, and terrorism, at least we have this song, in which Coalhouse Walker Jr. recalls how he got his beloved Sarah to fall truly, madly, deeply in love with him with his peerless piano skills? So romantic.

Gosh, I sure hope those crazy kids work out!

21. The one about remembering a scary dream.

"Sit Down, You're Rockin' the Boat," "Guys and Dolls"

With, perhaps, only a smidge more credibility than grifter-from-another-mother Professor Harold Hill, "Guys and Dolls'" third-most-degenerate gambler Nicely-Nicely Johnson recalls a terrifying dream where he had to convince a group of skeptical evangelical crusaders that he's decided to give up the dice once and for all.

Side note: People in musicals are unbelievably good at remembering dreams. This is, like, full detail. I'd be like, "Um, I was at the Statue of Liberty, and you were there? I think? It wasn't really you, it was like a combination of you and my dad. And we were in prison. But at the Statue of Liberty."

22. The one about remembering how it used to be when you were young and full of hope instead of old and bitter and jaded.

"Our Time," "Merrily We Roll Along"

The closing number of "Merrily We Roll Along" is actually the first chronologically, since the musical goes backward. It's the play's happiest moment — Frank, Charley, and Mary on a roof watching Sputnik go by, giddily talking about how thrilling, perfect, and successful their futures are going to be. It's so hopeful! But so sad, 'cause you already know all the achingly bittersweet stuff that's going to happen.

Ach! So poignant! I'm dead from poignant.

23. The one about remembering.

"Memory," "Cats"

"Cats." The OG.

All right team, what did I miss?

This article originally appeared on 02.26.16

A photo collage from the movie Ferris Bueller's Day Off.

It's really interesting what nearly 35 years does to the lens of perspective. When my friend invited me to join her family for their once-a-month movie night, she asked which John Hughes movie she should show her 14-year-old twins. The answer was obvious. It had to be something fun, school-related, and iconic. Ferris Bueller's Day Off seemed to be the perfect choice as we Gen X-ers loved it when we were exactly their age in 1986.

The fraternal twins (one boy, one girl) sat down on a rare early Saturday evening when neither had dance practice or a sleepover. We gathered in our comfy clothes, popped some popcorn, and hit "rent now."

They were excited by the opening scene, where an adorable Matthew Broderick (doesn't matter what generation one is, he transcends them all) is pretending to be sick in bed with worrying parents. His sister Jeanie is suspicious and exhausted by his antics, but Ferris prevails. He then proceeds to give a brilliant monologue about eating life up and living in the moment. His now-famous line, Life moves pretty fast. If you don’t stop and look around once in a while, you could miss it,” is still plastered in quote books and on Bumble profiles.

The twins seemed inspired, and one of them actually teared up in the first five minutes.

The opening scene from Ferris Bueller's Day Off.www.youtube.com, Paramount Pictures, Film Studies Fundamntals

Spoilers ahead: the movie is pretty simple. Ferris is a super cool high school kid with a beautiful girlfriend, Sloane, played by Mia Sara. His best friend is a depressed hypochondriac named Cameron, who is played to perfection by Alan Ruck. Ferris skips school a lot (nine times!) and grabs each day by the neck. There are themes of Hedonism, Nihilism, and Taoism, but neither of the twins mentioned that.

The first thing both kids DID bring up (after being delighted by the shower monologue) was how privileged the characters were. Affluent Chicago suburbs, after all, was the setting John Hughes knew best. They also noted, as many have over the years, that Ferris seemed rather selfish and insensitive to what others in his life wanted and needed.

Ferris Bueller, 80s movies, Gen X, Gen ZA Ferris Buellers Day Off Film GIFGiphy Paramount Pictures

There have been many conversations over the years about Cameron being the true hero of the film. He has a story arc, unlike Ferris, that is unwavering. He's sad, but pushes through it and even gets the guts up to stand up to his father after a Ferrari incident.

In fact, there was a theory that Ferris was a figment of Cameron's imagination—a Fight Club scenario, if you will. Robert Vaux writes on CBR, "The theory holds that the entire day is a fantasy taking place in Cameron's head while he lies sick in bed. His sickness actually supports the theory: once Ferris comes over, it vanishes, and Cameron plunges energetically, if reluctantly, into the events of the day. According to the theory, it's because there are no events of the day. He's still sick at home, and the whole thing is a daydream."

cameron, ferris bueller's day off, 80s movies, john hughes, gen x, gen zCameron GIF in Ferris Buellers Day Off 80SGiphy, Paramount Pictures

I fully expected the twins to have similar thoughts. If not the Fight Club part, at least the idea that Cameron was the true protagonist. But what they (both of them) said instead was shocking. "No," the daughter told me. "I mean, I liked Ferris and I loved Cameron. But it's Jeanie who's the hero here."

Jeanie, the sister mentioned earlier, was played with pure rage by Jennifer Grey. She spends most of the movie attempting to narc on Ferris rather than enjoying her own beautiful day. She is angry and determined until…she meets a "bad boy" at the county jail, played complete with bloodshot eyes by Charlie Sheen.

Taken aback, their mom pushed back. "Jeanie, the sister? Why?"

The son answers, "She just changes the most. She starts out, like, having it in for Ferris. Really, having it in for EVERYONE. And then she just like figures it out." The daughter adds, "Yeah, in the end she was rooting for Ferris. She came the farthest from where she started and she's the one who kinda saved him."

Jennifer Grey meets Charlie Sheen in Ferris Bueller's Day Off.www.youtube.com, Paramount Pictures, Tvoldy23

Gobsmacked, I turned to Reddit for more answers. In the subreddit r/movies, someone recently posted, "Something I noticed about Ferris Bueller's Day Off." They then proceed to drive the Cameron theory forward. "At the start of the film, Cameron is in bed sickly and not really confident in himself, but as the movie progresses, he starts to get more confidence, and by the end, he gains the courage to stand up to his father."

A Redditor replies with this thoughtful answer: "I've heard it called a flat character arc when the protagonist doesn't change but is instead the catalyst for those around them to change. It's hard to pull off but is often the most satisfying kind of character. Ted Lasso (especially in season one) is a good example."

Others echo that idea, offering up characters like Forrest Gump and The Dude from The Big Lebowski. They stayed exactly the same while the world or others in their lives changed around them. It's described on a YouTube clip as "The moment you realize the main character is not actually the main character."

The movie Ferris Bueller's Day Off is dissected. www.youtube.com, Paramount Pictures, CinemaStix

This would give credence to the twins' opinion. But I'd never heard anyone choose Jeanie before, and they weren't swayed by Grey's performance in Dirty Dancing because they haven't seen it yet. When pressed one more time, their answer didn't change. "No doubt, it's the sister. She should have a spinoff." Their mom was so proud and we all totally agree.

Pets

Experts share the three ways you can usually tell someone is a 'cat person'

"Dog people wish their dogs were people. Cat people wish THEY were cats."

Canva

A person lovingly holds a cat.

Cats vs. dogs, a duel as old as time. The truth is it’s perfectly okay to love both furry four-legged creatures, as they each bring their own quirky, lovable eccentricities to this world. (It’s like having to choose between cake or pie. Delicious either way, so choose both!) Dogs’ and cats’ personalities and traits vary by breed, of course, and no two animals are alike. But our love for them and who we’re drawn to can often say a lot about us.

dogs, cats, animals, pets, companionsA cat and dog cuddle on the floor. Photo by Louis-Philippe Poitras on Unsplash

As a dog person, I’ve always been curious as to what traits “dog moms” often have. Many over the years have concluded that the pet you love having in your home tends to fit who you are. Dogs are usually loyal, eager, and like structure, just like their people. Cats, the conventional wisdom goes, are more independent, mysterious, and introverted—often like cat owners. (Of course this is a broad assessment, and plenty of dog owners want to be left alone, while cat peeps dance on tabletops. At least one!)

But more interestingly, a recent article suggests that the animal you pick can say a lot about your attachment style. To understand the context, Attachment Theory was coined by psychiatrist John Bowlby, who noted that our early caregivers often shape how we attach to each other throughout our lives. The bond between ourselves and our primary caregiver (often our moms) in the first two years of life can deeply affect how we interact and develop social bonds as adults.

Psychologist Mary Ainsworth took this research even further. In what’s called the Strange Situation, she actually studied children and their interaction with their caregivers and noted the difference between secure and insecure attachment styles.

- Mary Ainsworth's Strange Situation experiment.www.youtube.com

Though many researchers studied the concept, years later, psychiatrist Amir Levine and his colleague, psychologist Rachel Heller, helped build the popular notion that our attachment styles greatly affect our romantic relationships in adulthood. In their book Attached: The New Science of Adult Attachment and How it Can Help You Find—and Keep Love , they explore this theory thoroughly.

Columbia Psychiatry states, “The authors popularized attachment theory—the idea that early emotional bonds with our caregivers impacts our future relationships—exploring three distinct attachment styles that affect the way we deal with relationship conflicts, our feelings toward sex, and our expectations of romantic intimacy.”

They go on to explain, in short, “People with anxious attachment styles tend to be insecure about their relationships, fear abandonment, and often seek validation. Those with avoidant styles have a prevailing need to feel loved but are largely emotionally unavailable in their relationships. And a securely attached person is comfortable giving and receiving love, can trust others and be trusted, and gets close to others with relative ease.”

- Animated video about attachment theorywww.youtube.com

Which brings us back to cats. In the article “Are You a Cat Person or a Dog Person? Here’s What Psychology Has to Say” for VeryWell Mind by journalist Wendy Rose Gould, she notes that “rather than our fave pet simply mirroring our personality, these preferences and relationships can give us insight into who we are, how we operate, and how we interact with the world. For example, it might tell us something about our attachment styles, whether we’re outgoing or introverted, or even how we handle independence and companionship.”

She cites psychologist Michael Kane, PsyD, who shares, “Cat enthusiasts [may] appreciate the less demanding and more autonomous companionship offered by cats. Feline indulgers enjoy the companionship of cats as they prefer connections that are meaningful but not as demanding.” (Dog lovers, on the other hand, [may] enjoy close and reciprocal relationships with dogs as they resemble secure, dependent bonds that provide emotional comfort, stability, and security.)

cat, pets, solitude, introvert, felinesA bored cat files its nails.Giphy

(To put this in Attachment Theory terms, cat people might lean avoidant, while dog people a tad more anxious in their relationship styles.)

Gould goes on to describe two other cat people "tells." One is their (possible) preference for introversion, which is really just how we give and receive energy. Again quoting Dr. Kane, “Cat people have shown to be more open to experience and scored higher on introversion, which suggests that they appreciate more solitude and less social interaction.”

Lastly, Gould shares that cat owners tend to be more spontaneous than their structured dog-loving counterparts. “Cat owners may be more adaptable and comfortable with a looser, go-with-the-flow approach, as felines tend to be more independent and require less regimented care. This could reflect a person’s comfort level with spontaneity, flexibility, and self-guided motivation in their daily life.”

Best to let this Reddit comment from the thread "What is the difference between a cat person and a dog person?" sum it up: " Dog people wish their dogs were people. Cat people wish they were cats."

Phone or handwritten? The great debate ensues.

Are you the type of person who always writes grocery lists by hand? Perhaps on the back of a receipt, in a special notebook, or on an index card? Do you insist on this method, even though you’re the only one in the store unfurling paper like an ancient scroll while everyone has their heads down, tapping away at their phones?

Lists are undoubtedly important. In a recent poll, research revealed that the average British adult writes an average of three to-do lists a week—which, in some cases, can add up to 9,766 lists in a lifetime. “Evidently, we all rely on lists for one aspect of life or another,” commented Shahbaz Khan from STABILO, a high-quality pen and pencil company.

But when it comes to the actual list-making, does the method in which you create it really matter? Apparently, yes. And your choice, handwritten or digital, can say a lot about your personality.


grocery list, grocery, lists, handwritten, handwritingPeople who write their lists by hand might be able to remember them better.Photo credit: Canva

If you prefer handwriting, you’re likely…

To have a mind that operates like a filing cabinet.

In 2024, two professors at the Norwegian University of Science and Technology, Dr. Audrey L.H. Van der Meer and F.R. (Ruud) Van der Weel, found that handwriting activates more elaborate and widespread brain connectivity patterns compared to typing. They suggest that the physical act of moving your hand while writing creates spatial and temporal patterns in the brain that promote learning.

In a similar study, Japanese researchers found that participants who wrote calendar events by hand on paper showed increased brain activity—particularly in memory regions—compared to those who recorded the same information on smartphones. The hand writers also recalled the information 25% faster than those who typed. Writing by hand triggers extra neural activity in regions tied to learning and memory. So, no matter how messy your handwriting might be, that grocery list might also be giving your memory a little work-out.

To be naturally conscientious and understand the secret to success.

Conscientiousness isn't the same as self-control or self-restraint—rather, it refers to a person's tendency to be organized, reliable, goal-directed, and self-disciplined. It's no surprise, then, that those who score highly in conscientiousness tend to be successful: they aim for high-profile outcomes and have the ability to develop well-thought-out plans to accomplish their goals.

Comfortable getting tactile.

Nothing quite compares to writing with your perfect pen. (By the way, what's yours? A Pilot G2-2? Uni-ball Vision Elite? Or perhaps something fancy, like the Squire Classic Pen from Baronfig?) It's a complete sensory experience as your pen glides across paper. This physical connection helps create a deeper engagement with the task at hand.

woman, child, grocery, shopping, listWriting your list by hand could curb impulse shopping. Photo credit: Canva

To not buy on impulse.

Yanliu Huang and Zhen Yang from the LeBow College of Business at Drexel University examined how handwritten shopping lists differ from digital ones. Their research showed that people who write lists on paper tend to make more planned purchases and fewer impulse buys.

However, there are a few downsides to a handwritten grocery list…

Let's face it: sometimes you can't read your own handwriting. When rushing, you might scribble illegibly, forget items, or leave the paper at home entirely. (Pro tip for forgetful hand-writers: snap a photo of your list before heading out, just in case.)

Paper lists are also cumbersome to update on the go. Picture this—you've just remembered you need onions while backing out of the driveway, but now you're scrambling for a pen. Don't do this. Plus, paper lists make it difficult to coordinate shopping with other people.


If you’re #DigitalForever, you’re likely…

In a poll of 2,000 people in the United Kingdom, researchers found that when it comes to list-making, only 40% use their phones, while 63% write on notepads and 24% use sticky notes. So congrats—you're right in the middle!

Extremely efficient and organized.

Your phone is a miracle list-maker: people who use digital lists value practicality over sentimentality—they appreciate the power of automatic sorting, expense tracking, and integrated coupon features. These lists can be updated instantly and accessed from almost any device, making them the most efficient, streamlined option.

Someone who uses data to make decisions.

Beyond expense tracking, many apps provide nutritional data, meal planning suggestions, and inventory management—helping you make smarter, healthier food choices. You're not just shopping anymore; you're strategically planning your nutrition.

groceries, grocery shopping, produce, lists, shopping, nutritionDigital lists are perfect for collaborations. Photo credit: Canva

Collaborating with someone in the kitchen.

The beauty of a digital list is that it can be shared with others in real time, allowing multiple people to add items seamlessly. This eliminates miscommunications and duplicate purchases while reducing paper waste and promoting environmentally friendly habits.

The digital life has its downsides, too…

Taking a break from your phone can be refreshing, but keeping your grocery list there means more screen time—potentially leading to digital fatigue or distractions from notifications and other apps. There's also the practical concern: what if your phone dies, you lose Internet connection, or your service drops out while shopping?

Grocery shopping can be such a treat. Whether you use digital lists, handwritten scribbles, or memory tricks to track what you need, there's no wrong approach. The “best” way to write a grocery list depends on you: your personal preferences, your lifestyle, and what works for your routine. Ask yourself, “What will make me feel the most organized and calm?” Then let your grocery list lead the way.


Image via Canva

Parenting experts explain why parents should avoid saying these toxic phrases.

There is no such thing as the "perfect parent." Since people aren't perfect, their parenting can't be either. In fact, there are a number of things that can cause parents to unintentionally hurt their kids--from generational trauma to stress and frustration. Sometimes the most loving parents can spew out toxic words and phrases to their kids.

Not only can this lead to further behavioral issues, but it can instill in them toxic messages they will carry into future relationships--and as parents themselves one day. Being aware of toxic parenting phrases before they are used is a positive first step, followed by understanding why and how they can impact kids.

These are eight of the most common toxic phrases parents should avoid saying to their kids, according to parenting experts.

1. Never say: 'You look terrible.'

Sure, it may be coming from an honest place, but parents who use this phrase may be unknowingly image shaming their kids, causing insecurities to "skyrocket," according to the experts at Psych2Go. It could also possibly lead to body issues in the future.

2. Never say: 'You're a freak.'

By saying this to your child, you may be imprinting the message that they are "ill-fitting to the world," and also implying "there is something wrong with them as a person," notes Pysch2Go.

- YouTubewww.youtube.com

3. Never say: 'You know better than that.'

According to parenting coach Reem Raouda, parents should say instead: "Something's getting in the way of your best self right now. Let's talk about it."

She explains that this avoids shaming your child, and reframes the scenario from punishment to partnership. "It assumes the best in your child and encourages self-reflection instead of defensiveness. It sends the message: 'I believe in you, and I'm here to help'," says Raouda.

4. Never say: 'You're so immature.'

Emotions like disgust, ridicule, and shame may be triggered if you say this to your child, notes Psych2Go.

5. Never say: 'Because I said so.'

Raouda shares that saying this to your child not only shuts down communication, but it also teaches blind obedience.

Instead, you can try saying: "I know you don't like this decision. I'll explain, and then we're moving forward." "You're not debating or negotiating—you're modeling respectful leadership. This phrasing acknowledges their feelings and reinforces that you're in charge in a calm, grounded way," she says.

6. Never say: 'This is your fault.'

This phrase is manipulative, according to Psych2Go. "A parent placing blame on their child and acting victimized causes the child to feel like a burden or even a curse. This can lead to them going to great lengths to avoid being a so-called problem, maybe even enslaving themselves to maintain acceptance."

7. Never say: 'Show me some respect.'

Of course, respect should be given when it is properly due. But parents who command this of their kids can not only be confusing, but also stunt your child's critical thinking and questioning, shares Psych2Go.

8. Never say: 'Do what I say or else.'

Saying this to your child is "an outright threat," which totally dismisses your child's needs and desires. In turn, this can lead to your child feeling unworthy of anything but your whims as a parent, says Psych2Go.

Joy

Cop pulls over a man for speeding, finds out he's going to a funeral, and helps him tie his tie

"𝙍𝙀𝙈𝙄𝙉𝘿𝙀𝙍: compassion still exists, even on the side of the road."

Good things are still happening in the world. Here's proof.

Louisiana-based Deputy Dustin Byers was just doing his job when he stopped a man for speeding on the highway. But when he found out the man was actually on his way to a funeral, it became anything but a routine work day.

As the St. Tammany Parish Sheriff’s Office wrote in a Facebook post titled “A Traffic Stop Comes With a Side of Compassion,” which has been shared more than 2,000 times, “The man explained he was on his way to a funeral and was having a tough day. To top it off, he couldn’t get his tie right.”

Without skipping a beat, Byers, who did know how to properly tie a tie, offered his assistance. In the shared photo, we see the man’s bright blue tie getting fixed.

“REMINDER: compassion still exists, even on the side of the road,” the sheriff’s office added.

Though PEOPLE confirmed that Byers did, in fact, still issue a citation, countless people commended him for showing empathy even while fulfilling his duty.

“This right here is a powerful reminder that kindness knows no uniform, no badge, and no boundaries,” one person said. “In a moment that could have simply been about a traffic stop, Deputy Byers chose compassion — turning frustration into dignity and stress into support.”

They continued, “It’s the small gestures that leave the biggest impact…May we all strive to lead with empathy, no matter the circumstance.”

Here’s a sampling of more lovely comments:

“This is what is listening to each other turns out to be like. Both walked away a better man ❤️❤️

“That little bit of kindness will stay with him for a lifetime and I am sure it made his day a little easier to deal with. 💙

“This is what it means to serve and protect. Great job officer.”

“An easy act of kindness and compassion is always remembered. I’m sure this helped this young man with the struggles he was facing. Great job by this Officer.”

Indeed, there are moments like this that happen all the time. Acts of kindness from strangers, officers, elders, kids, animals, you name it. Yes, there are bad apples out there, but as often as possible, let’s remember—and celebrate—the ones doing good in the world. Now more than ever.