upworthy

helping others

Mental Health

Psychologist Carl Jung believed these five specific things will lead you to a happier life

"Happiness is such a remarkable reality that there is nobody who does not long for it."

Canva

A happy woman in a field.

If you've ever taken the Myers-Briggs personality assessment (ENFJ here), you've had at least a splash of Jungian psychology. Some of it's rather complicated, involving one's shadow selves and emotions—which tracks, as Jung was a complicated thinker.

When it comes to having a fulfilled life, Jung's baseline is actually quite simple: he believed there were five essential elements for a life of contentment.

As part of the Happiness Project, celebrated author Gretchen Rubin relayed Jung's "key elements to happiness" on Psychology Today in 2012. She shares that journalist Gordon Young asked Jung in 1960, "What do you consider to be more or less basic factors making for happiness in the human mind?"

carl jung, happiness, psychologist, therapy, psychologyA portrait of Carl Jung.en.m.wikipedia.org

These were Jung's answers:.

1. "Physical and mental health."

This might seem like a no-brainer, but much like fellow psychologist Abraham Maslow's well-known Hierarchy of Needs, there must be a basic ground floor under us to secure a road to happiness. For Maslow, it was labeled "physiological" at the bottom of a pyramid—meaning the ability to breathe, eat, and drink water. Basic elements to stay alive. Jung added to "physical health" or basic mental health such as a functioning mind that allows an individual to wake up and function, even at the most elementary level.

2. "Good personal and intimate relationships, such as those of marriage, the family, and friendships."

Again, similar to Maslow's third rung on the hierarchy pyramid, connection is key, no matter what form it takes. Getting along with people in your life—your spouse, parents, friends—brings happiness. Maslow called it love. Jung called it "intimate."

3. "The faculty for perceiving beauty in art and nature."

This one deviates from Maslow a bit. Jung stressed the importance of keeping a sense of wonder about the universe by seeing beauty in the world around you, especially in nature. Just as important as beauty in nature, though, is beauty also in the art (music, paintings, dance, literature) created by those around us.

4. "Reasonable standards of living and satisfactory work."

Here, Jung suggests that one's home and workplace be "reasonable and satisfactory." Some may argue to aim higher, but Jung is essentially saying that without these basic building blocks met, there's little chance of achieving happiness.

5. "A philosophic or religious point of view capable of coping successfully with the vicissitudes of life."

Here is where Jung lines back up with Maslow. One doesn't have to be religious, but having some sort of philosophical lens to think about the "bigger picture" of life is important in terms of happiness. For Maslow, this was described as self-actualization, but Jung focused it more on how one "copes" with unanswered questions and our place in the vast universe.

  - YouTube  www.youtube.com  

 

Of course, even Jung himself tinkered with these ideas until he passed. It's hard to sum up "happiness" in a way that applies to every single human's needs. Jung famously stressed that happiness can't be defined without also understanding sadness.

A thread on Reddit entitled "Do you agree with Jungian 5 pillars of a fulfilled life?" had people thinking.

One commenter believes looking outward could be helpful:

"I think another crucial thing for me would be knowing that I helped people or even humanity throughout my life. I think if everyone would try to understand other people more and help them, then we would have a better world."

This Redditor agreed, saying, "I would add activities which contribute meaningfully to society as the second most important pillar after health."

Another adds that these pillars change as we age:

"I agree that those are desirable things, but they also fluctuate throughout our lives—poor health can come and go, as can relationships, standards of living, and jobs. We can lose them and find them again and still have a life that is fulfilling or not, largely depending on our mental outlook."

From Your Site Articles
happiness
Mental Health

Adam Grant explains that a simple tweak in how you journal can boost your motivation

"Part of our motivation comes from feeling capable of making a difference."

Photo credit: Canva

Adding contributions to a gratitude journal can help make you happier and more motivated.

Some years ago, the idea of keeping a "gratitude journal" became all the rage. Research indicates that cultivating a sense of gratitude by "counting our blessings" can make us feel happier and more satisfied with our lives, and gratitude journal is a purposeful, systematic way to do that.

Happiness is great, but what about motivation? Does gratitude journaling make you more motivated? According to organizational psychologist Adam Grant, the answer is no. But there is something else you can add to your journal to increase your motivation—contributions.

"If you just do a gratitude journal, you end up passive," Grant told the Last Neanderthals podcast. "You're reflecting on what you're fortunate to receive from others. Jane Dutton and I studied this and we found that people end up more motivated after they do 'contribution journals,' where. you think about what you did for others. Part of our motivation comes from feeling capable of making a difference."

Grant said he likes to keep a journal that includes both gratitude and contributions. "You do your gratitude list, three things I'm grateful for, and then three ways I was useful to other people as well."

As a researcher at The Wharton School at University of Pennsylvania, Grant teamed up with Jane Dutton of the Ross School of Business at the University of Michigan to research how reflecting on giving and receiving impacts pro-social behavior. The question at the heart of their study was whether reflecting on receiving (gratitude) or on giving (contribution) would make a person behave in a more helpful way toward others.

gratitude journal, adam grant, motivation, contributions journalAdam Grant suggests adding contributions to your gratitude journal.Photo credit: Canva

"In field and laboratory experiments, we found that participants who reflected about giving benefits voluntarily contributed more time to their university, and were more likely to donate money to natural-disaster victims, than were participants who reflected about receiving benefits," the authors wrote. "When it comes to reflection, giving may be more powerful than receiving as a driver of prosocial behavior."

In fact, it appears that reflecting on giving becomes a self-fulfilling prophecy of sorts. "Merely thinking about recent experiences of giving encourages people to give more time and money," Grant and Dutton wrote. The more we recall ways we've contributed, the more motivated we are to contribute.

volunteering, giving, motivation, adam grantVolunteering is one way to contribute.Photo credit: Canva

As it turns out, giving is also good for your mental health. According to the Mental Health Foundation, that helping others can reduce stress and improve mood, self-esteem and happiness. It's one of the ways people can build connections, which helps prevent loneliness and isolation, and can increase our sense of optimism and satisfaction.

The Mental Health Foundation shares some suggestions for people wondering how they might contribute more:

- Volunteer for a local community organization
- Offer your expertise and support as a mentor for those who are struggling
- Check-in with a neighbor
- See if there’s anything you can do to support your children’s school or nursery—offer to read stories for example
- Involve your friends and neighbors in community projects
- Offer to skill-share with a friend—you could teach guitar, dance or a new recipe
- Call a friend that you haven’t spoken to for a while
- Tell a family member how much you love and appreciate them
- Offer a listening ear to someone who simply wants to talk

helping in the garden, volunteering, being helpful, contributions journalHelping doesn't have to be complicated or elaborate.Photo credit: Canva

Contributions don't have to be huge or dramatic to be impactful, both to ourselves and others. It's not like you have to find a cure for cancer or solve international conflicts or rescue someone from a burning building to count up ways you helped others or the world. A contributions journal entry could be as simple as, "1) Helped my neighbor plant her garden. 2) Dropped a bag of food at the food bank. 3) Helped my niece with her math homework." Any way that you made someone else's day or life a little easier or better is a contribution, so don't be overly judgey of your own list.

Besides, the more you reflect on giving, according to Grant, the more giving you'll have to reflect on, so just make a start and see what happens.

From Your Site Articles
life hacks
Culture

Why men should play along if a random girl suddenly approaches and acts like she knows you

Men want to help and here's the perfect way to do it.

Photo by Priscilla Du Preez on Unsplash

When a woman acts like she knows a man it's a clear signal

Most women, at one point or another, have felt some wariness or fear over a strange man in public. Sometimes it's overt, sometimes it's subtle, but when your instincts tell you something isn't right and you're potentially in danger, you listen.

It's an unfortunate reality, but reality nonetheless. A Twitter thread starting with some advice on helping women out is highlighting how real this is for many of us. User @mxrixm_nk wrote: "If a girl suddenly acts as if she knows you in public and acts like you're friends, go along w[ith] it. She could be in danger."

Other women chimed in with their own personal stories of either being the girl approaching a stranger or being the stranger approached by a girl to fend off a situation with a creepy dude.

One wrote, "A girl did this FOR me one time when I was sitting alone at a bar because she could tell I was in a very uncomfortable situation and I'll never forget her. It was bld of her to do that for a stranger but she literally saved me from some creep ass guy."

Another added, "I had a waitress do this for me once when an ex was yelling at me. She didn't leave me out of her sight and when he went to the bathroom she asked if I was ok and if I had roommates or if I was going to be alone with him after. An actual angel."

Another shared how a woman joined her and her husband as if they were old friends until her friends arrived.

good men, women, men, stalkers, harassment, adviceA man holds a woman's hand while another man watcheswww.flickr.com

"A woman walked up to my husband and I saying 'I haven't seen you guys in so long!!' then hugged us. We were ???, but went w/ it. She then pointed out a group of guys that followed her in, and the one that wouldn't leave her alone. He kept getting drinks right near us. Which was odd because we were in the corner out of the way. She hung out w/ us until her other friends got there. Once we realized what had actually happened we were a little shocked."

User "AmberLUVV" shared a story of being in a Dominican Republic port on a cruise when two girls pretended to belong to her family.

"When I went on a cruise with the fam, we ported in DR for a day. My dad and I decided to go the local shopping market. We had took a break on a bench cuz it was HOT! But all of sudden two girls walk up to us and addressed my dad as their own, and proceeded to say that they had And scared! We played it out for a minute longer until they told us what happened! Some men in a van were following them promising to take them to the beach and wouldn't leave them alone! They pointed out one of the guys and I had seen him turn away when they addressed my dad!"


"Raeloe" shared how a girl approached her at a nightclub to get away from a creepy guy when she'd been separated from her friends.

"I had this happen in a nightclub once. My hubby and I were working PAX and this club let's [sic] the enforcers in for free with their badges, I've never been before so he said c'mon let's go. Bout 2 hours in this girl comes up and dances with me and asks if it's okay to stay awhile. She lost her friends and this dude was creeping on her. I told her to take all the time she needs to find her friends. She came back with them later and gave me a big hug for making her feel safe. Would do it again without hesitation."


Another person shared how they'd been the one who needed help.

"Been the person who needed this. Creepy dude wouldn't leave me tf alone, so I walked over to a group of girls and acted very excited to see them again. They immediately caught on and we started talking about whatever. For over an hour. Bcuz he wouldn't leave. They ended up giving me a ride around town bcuz the creeper was following. Made some friends and we made him run a red light, which had a cop chasing him. They got me home and we hung out regularly after that."

And another explained how grateful she was to a woman on the bus who let her act like they were best friends.

One person even shared a video showing exactly what such a scenario looks like in real life.


Some people responded with various "what if" scenarios, like what if a woman is really trying to lure them into a dangerous situation, or what if they want them to accompany them somewhere that might not be safe? But those questions seemed to miss the point that no one was suggesting anyone go anywhere private with anyone, and also seemed to miss how often women actually do find themselves in situations where they need to turn to a stranger for help.

As one woman wrote, "All the people fighting this saying it'll be a setup are underestimating how often women actually do this to get away from creepy men. I've had to do this at a bar and I've also gone up to a women I saw distressed and pretended to be her friend and she played along. It happens."

men helping women, harassment, danger, women, men Most men want to be helpful to women and this is a great way to do thatPhoto by Nikolas Noonan on Unsplash

"I've yelled back. I've thrown drinks in guys faces. I've pushed them away from myself and others. I've reached out for help and asked other guys or security to step in. Sometimes the path of least resistance for a good night is to blend in real quick."

And others pointed out that women don't generally approach men for help unless they feel like they really need to—usually because they end up in situations where men don't respond to the word "no."

Finally, someone suggested a tip for using your phone to ask a girl if she's in danger while pretending to show her a picture, so you both can be clear on what's really happening.

But the bottom line is, if a girl or woman walks up to you and pretends to know you, more often than not it's because she's trying to get away from someone. Play along and accompany her until she's safe. Guaranteed she'll be eternally grateful.

This article originally appeared five years ago.

From Your Site Articles
women
Trending Stories