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Wellness

Experienced therapist shares the '3 things people shouldn't do when they fall in love'

Experienced therapist shares the '3 things people shouldn't do when they fall in love'
via Therpay Den/TikTok

There's nothing more wonderful than being in the throes of falling in love with someone new. It feels like your senses are constantly heightened. Your stomach aches when they're not around and you hope they're thinking about you every moment of the day.

Falling in love is a truly wonderful feeling. However, that feeling of euphoria is temporary. The key is being able to take that exciting beginning and turn it into a loving relationship.

Unfortunately, not everyone who sparks those incredible feelings, in the beginning, winds up being a healthy partner long-term.

Therapist Jeff Guenther believes that a lot of the behaviors that will take a relationship from the beginning infatuation phase to something lasting are pretty counter-intuitive.

Guenther is the co-founder of TherapyDen, a platform where people can find therapists for a wide variety of counseling needs.

Guenther shared three important things people shouldn't do when they feel that they're falling in love on TikTok recently. His thoughts must have really connected with people because the video has been seen over 2.8 million times.

@therapyden

3 things you should NOT do when you fall in love. #therapytiktok #mentalhealth #dating #therapytok #love

1. Don't fool yourself into thinking you're actually in love

Guenther believes that even though the feelings are there, true love comes after you've seen all of the person's foibles and still care enough to stick around. "Once you see how dumb and annoying they are, and you still think that you're head over heels in love, then you're more likely actually in love," he says.

The therapist has a great point here. How many times do two people appear to be deeply in love only to have things blow up overnight after the first fight?



2. Don't move fast

Even though you want to see this person every day of your life, Guenther thinks you should dial it back a bit. "See them up to two or three times during the week," he says. He believes that by taking it easy in the beginning, you put yourself in a better position for things to work out long-term.

"Relationships start out hot and heavy, you have a tendency to crash and burn if you say 'fuck it' and spend every day with them," he says.



3. Don't make any big decisions

"You think you're in love, you think they're the one. And you decide to move in or quit school or follow their band," he says. "Please don't make big decisions at the start."

Guenther makes a great point here as well. At the beginning of a relationship, we are so amped up on hormones and chemicals that we're bound to make some bad decisions. A new relationship means a lot of new opportunities, but it's best not to make any drastic decisions until the relationship has matured to the point where both people are level-headed.

The bigger point that Guenther appears to make in his video is that love is more of an action than a feeling. Sure, in the beginning, we can get overwhelmed by the feelings we have for a new love interest. However, everyone that's been in a relationship that's lasted over a decade knows that true love is more about paying attention, anticipating people's needs, enjoying the simple things, and putting the other person first than being overwhelmed by passion.







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Education

Unearthed BBC interview features two Victorian-era women discussing being teens in the 1800s

Frances 'Effy' Jones, one of the first women to be trained to use a typewriter and to take up cycling as a hobby, recalls life as a young working woman in London.

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Two Victorian women discuss being teens in the 1800s.

There remains some mystery around what life was like in the 1800s, especially for teens. As time marches on, we're moving further and further away from the Victorian era and what life was like for the people living through it. Thankfully, though, relics have survived that are not just historical treasures, but connections our human family now since passed. In this rediscovered 1970s clip from the BBC, two elderly women reminisce about what it was like being teenagers during a time when the horse and buggy was still the fastest way to get around.

While cars were just around the corner from being the common mode of transportation toward the end of the 19th century, it's pretty wild to imagine what these women experienced. Frances "Effy" Jones explained how, at age 17, she was encouraged by her brother to check out this new machine in a storefront window. Turns out that machine was a typewriter and, after being trained on how to use it, Jones would sit in the store window typing while people outside gathered to watch. Before long, classes began popping up for women to learn how to use a typewriter, starting a new movement for women of that era.

The second woman, Berta Ruck, told the BBC that she would get into a bit of trouble at boarding school for drawing instead of completing school work. This talent took Ruck to art school in London where she rode buses around town, attempting to avoid mud getting on her long skirt. But Ruck explained that it never worked and she would spend hours brushing the mud from her skirt before wearing it out again. I'm sure you're thinking, buses? They weren't the buses we would see nowadays. These were double-decker horse-pulled carriages. It may be hard to imagine, but life was just as vibrant and bustling then as it is now. Check out the video below to learn more:


This article originally appeared three years ago.

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Conservation

Danish city put out vending machines for people to return their coffee cups and get paid

Only one year later, and the results speak for themselves.

Reusable/Instagram

Would you use this?

Over 1 billion people worldwide drink coffee every day. That's about 12.6% of the world's population. And of course, there are a bajillion different ways people conjure up their cup of joe, but many opt for swinging by their local café. Problem is, those single-use cups, as we know, create a ton of waste.

Many heavy hitter coffee companies like Starbucks and McDonald’s have made attempts to tackle this issue by incentivizing customers to use reusable cups in exchange for a discount, but one city has a different approach…and it seems to be making a big impact.

One year ago, Aarhus, Denmark’s second-largest city, launched a three-year, first-of-its-kind trial project, where customers can return their reusable coffee cups to automated deposit machines placed throughout town and in return they'll receive a €70-cent rebate back to their debit card.

Once those to-go cups are returned, they’re transported to the TOMRA cleaning/recycling facility, and, barring any damage, will be sent back to participating cafés. According to Euro News, 45 different businesses signed up for the innovative program.

"All of us, we want to have some kind of impact on the amount of trash that's lying around and especially us coffee shops,” said Joe Hougaard, a manager for one of the participating shops.

This scheme is similar to methods introduced by other European countries like Romania, Denmark, and Belgium, which involve deposit systems for returning plastic or glass bottles and cans in exchange for a small refund. However, those machines are only located within supermarkets. The Aarhus system, however, is open air, meaning the machines are located on main shopping streets with a lot of through traffic.

As reported by Daniela De Lorenzo, the project wasn’t an overnight success. Over the initial few weeks after the launch, the return rate was only around 25 per cent, and unfortunately a return rate of 82 per cent would be needed in order for the reusable cups to actually be a better alternative.


However, things turned around in September 2024, when the city held a week-long festival and the reusable cups were exclusively offered. “Many more citizens were exposed to them and around 100,000 cups were returned, an amount which would have filled 1,200 trash bins,” she wrote.

This became a catalyst for change, one that Simon Smedegaard Rossau, project manager for circular packaging at Aarhus Municipality, signaled a noticeable “shift in behavior.”

“We see people going with bags full of cups, which means they recycle in bulk, like for cans and bottles. Now we can see the return rate is 88 per cent, which means a cup is reused 44 times.”

We are only in year one of a three year trial period, but if things continue like this, there are plans to extend the program to plates, pizza boxes and more throughout the city. All of which could be promising for other cities looking for more sustainable systems.

As Tove Andersen, TOMRA CEO, said in a press release, "Aarhus shows the way to one more sustainable future, and we hope that many more cities will be inspired to do the same.”

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Pop Culture

'Wheel of Fortune' fans left shocked after contestant wins $50,000 solving impossible puzzle

“How in the world did you solve that last one?” asked host Ryan Seacrest.

Wheel of Fortune/Youtube

That was quite impressive.

Listen, while we all love a hilarious Wheel of Fortune fail, watching an epic win can be just as entertaining. And that’s exactly what recently happened on The Wheel when a contestant named Traci Demus-Gamble made a winning puzzle solve so out-of-nowhere that it made host Ryan Seacrest jokingly check her for a hidden earpiece.

In a clip posted to the show’s YouTube account Friday, Jan. 17, Demus-Gamble waved to her husband who was standing on the sidelines before going up to the stage for her next challenge: guess a four-word “phrase.”

Demus-Gamble wasn’t off to a great start, as only two of her given letters (“T” and “E”) made it to the board. And the odds didn’t improve much after Demus-Gamble, admittedly “nervous,” gave the letters “M,” “C,” “D,” and “O” and only two of those letters showed up once on the board.

“Again, not too much more, but who knows, you’ve had a lot of good luck tonight,” Seacrest said. “Maybe it’ll strike you.”

Then, all in under ten seconds (more like in 1.5 seconds), Demus-Gamble correctly guessed, “They go way back” like it was nothing.

Watch the incredible moment below:

- YouTubewww.youtube.com

As the audience cheered, Seacrest playfully circled Demus-Gamble, as though searching for an earpiece that must have fed her the winning guess. Down in the comments, people were equally floored.

“Now THAT was an amazing solve.”

“Wow! That was impressive!”

“I couldn't solve that one to save my life, but Demus-Gamble got it like it was nothing.”

“There's only one way to describe this to me: 😦”

At the end of the clip, Seacrest opened the envelope to reveal that Demus-Gamble’s puzzle solve won her $50,000, earning her a total win of $78,650. Certainly not chump change.

As for her winning strategy—Demus-Gamble assured no cheating was involved. “I just dug deep," she told Seacrest. We’ll say.

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Joy

Enjoy the scaly sweetness of a little girl hanging out with her beloved pet snake

Their bond is undeniable.

Reddit

Brb, going out to buy a pet snake.

Kids and pets is a recipe for adorableness no matter what, but the fact that the video below features a kid with a pet snake…that just takes things to a whole new level. After all, it’s not like snakes are widely considered a great match for any pet owners, let alone children. But after seeing the pure love these two beings share for one another, it’s hard to not be won over.

In the clip posted online, we at first see the onscreen text (presumably from mom or dad) read “no one warned us that having a snake could look like this” as a little girl, smiling ear to ear, holds her snake—which appears to be a piebald ball python—in both hands.

From there, we’re taken on a lovely thirty second journey of snuggles while watching TV together, snakey helping with homework, and just lots of cuddles in general. The two are undeniably inseparable.

Watch:

The Bond between her and her snake 💖💖
byu/Both-Ant4433 inBeAmazed

So stinking sweet, right? And it was not only an entertaining watch, but an educational one as well, as it stirred up conversation about how snakes experience television.

“The snake is low-key tripping watching the TV,” one viewer commented. “You see the holes round its mouth? They're called heat pits and from what I understand they react to the heat coming of the TV…So his little brain is getting absolutely blasted with stimulation. Thus the interest in it. He's having fun.”

To that, someone quipped, “TIL that TV is like psychedelics for snakes,” while another echoed, “Wow, I came here to have fun, but I learned something and it was fun.”

For a little more context, the website ReptileCraze.comhttps://reptilecraze.com/can-snakes-watch-tv/

explains that while snakes only see greens and blues, they perceive ultraviolet light, which is invisible to the human eye, as well as heat—all of which a TV gives off. So just because they might not be following along on who’s getting booted from your favorite reality show, they are probably nonetheless enjoying it.

Really the only thing snake owners should be aware of regarding TV is disrupting their natural sleep cycle. But I mean, we as humans should also be aware of that with our own sleep cycles. So if you’re keeping that in mind, TV time can actually be a great bonding opportunity. Which is clearly what these two in the video are doing.

In general piebald ball pythons like this one are considered great pets for their docile nature, but apparently carpet pythons, gopher snakes, milk snakes, garter snakes, rosy boas, western hognoses, California kingsnakes, and corn snakes are also good considerations—most of which can live for decades.

There’s even a breed called the children's python, which got its name not because its safe for children (though it is) but because of the scientist who covered them, John George Children. What a name.

But if you aren’t in the market for a new reptile friend, you can always just peruse the internet to find sweet videos of them, just like this one.

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Pop Culture

Man with schizophrenia shares a video from Batman actor Kevin Conroy that saved his life

"It's saved me from suicide countless times."

Photo credit: Cameo/Warner Bros. Entertainment

Pictured: A true hero and Batman

Editor's Note: This story discusses suicide. If you are having thoughts about taking your own life, or know of anyone who is in need of help, the 988 Suicide & Crisis Lifeline is a United States-based suicide prevention network of over 200+ crisis centers that provides 24/7 service via a toll-free hotline with the number 9-8-8. It is available to anyone in suicidal crisis or emotional distress.


It’s not often that the person who portrays a hero in movies, TV, or video games is an even greater hero in real life. A man on Reddit shared an experience of that rare exception when he posted a Cameo he purchased in 2020 from Kevin Conroy, a voice actor best known for his portrayal of Batman, saying that “It's saved me from suicide countless times.”

"I paid for a Cameo video from Mr. Conroy. In the introductory text I believe I simply explained how my name is pronounced, that I had schizophrenia and had been extremely moved and inspired to face my fears as Batman did in Arkham Knight. I ended with 'THANK YOU.'"

He only had enough money for 30 second Cameo, but Conroy instead gave him a heartfelt six minute long response.


Kevin Conroy has saved me from suicide more times than I can count. In 2020 I paid $100 for a 30 sec video. I got back over 6 minutes.
byu/MaliciousMe87 inbatman

In the video, Conroy not only did some classic Batman dialogue in the voice but shared about how his brother struggled with schizophrenia. He got personal and touched upon the struggles of life, and how the fan was not alone in his fight and in his treatment. Conroy ended his message with "I believe in you. Batman believes in you, and Batman is on your side."

The fan held onto his video, wanting to keep it private since Conroy was so vulnerable and personal in his response, but felt it was okay to share since Conroy touched upon his brother's schizophrenia in "Finding Batman", an autobiographical comic story in the DC Pride 2022 anthology. In "Finding Batman," Conroy discusses helping his brother with his treatment along with how his life as a young gay man in the 1950s through the 1990s required him to have a "public face" and a "private face" much like Batman and his secret identity of Bruce Wayne. Conroy would portray the character on and off in various animated shows, movies, and video games for over 30 years, with his last posthumous performance as Batman in 2024's Justice League: Crisis on Infinite Earths - Part Three.


"His reply, this video, is my most prized possession," said the fan. "It's saved me from suicide countless times. Batman telling me he believes in me is extremely powerful... but over time, it's become Kevin believing in me that is equally powerful."

Commenters shared their feelings about Conroy:

"This high key had me blinking back tears. Mr. Conroy was as important to me as the Batman character - something that became clear after his passing."

"Kevin is one of the people that I'd have loved to spend a day with. A true kind human."

"Bittersweet to know Kevin Conroy was exactly the hero we grew up watching. I miss him."

The commenters also threw in their thanks and support to the fan, too:

"You’ve got this, brother 👊🏽 You’re not alone."

"Your struggles don’t define you, it’s your perseverance against them that does, so fight. Fight tooth and nail."

"Giving this to the world made you a superhero."

Conroy understood that being the voice behind such a beloved character for an entire generation had some weight and responsibility to it, and used that bit of fame and power to grow a supportive community. Another such example is when he did the Batman voice for a bunch of 9/11 first responders as he helped cook meals for them between shifts of moving debris from the attack.

- YouTubeyoutu.be


Kevin used his position to encourage people, help people, and if nothing else made their lives a little brighter. That's something we can all learn from him. If he can be Batman in those ways, we can be Batman, too. Offer a hand to your family members. If someone needs help, help them. You don't need to be a millionaire playboy with an awesome dark costume to make a difference.

Also, if you're struggling with schizophrenia, you aren't alone, like Kevin said. If you could use some support, you can investigate Schizophrenia Alliance to find a support group near you, or a Zoom group if you prefer. Do your best to remember that we believe in you and Batman believes in you.

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