At some point in a long-term relationshipāespecially after youāre living togetherāthere comes a time when all pretense is laid to the wayside. When regular closeness and new levels of comfortability allow both partners to really let out their fun, playful, messy, immature, and perhaps even a bit feral side that would otherwise stay dormant or hidden.
If youāre currently in a long term relationship and wonder if other couples are as weird with one another behind closed doors as you are, read on. Recently someone asked partners:
āWhatās something you do in private thatās completely normal for you, but would probably shock your friends?ā
Judging by these super cute, sweet, interesting, and ultimately very relatable answers, we can probably all assume that being weirdos is actually a sign of a very healthy relationshipā¦even if we wouldnāt dare let anyone else see us that way.
Tons of couples shared about having their own language of sorts, especially those that involve animal sounds, apparentlyā¦
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Ā āMy wife and I HONK like geese. I use it for echo location but she uses it more as a summoning function.āPhoto credit: Canva
āWe have full conversations in ridiculous accents and once spent a whole day arguing in pirate voice without breaking character.ā
āSometimes weāll be in different parts of the house and sheāll bark, and Iāll bark back and weāll bark at each other for about 10 seconds before it goes back to silence, with no discussion involved.If weāre in the same room sometimes sheāll make a bark noise and Iāll look at her like HEY, no, shake finger this is a safe space.ā
āMy wife and I HONK like geese. I use it for echo location but she uses it more as a summoning function.ā
āMy ex and I would meow at each other. Weād have full non verbal conversations with each other by meowing.ā
āMy partner and I hiss at each other. A lot.I had a good laugh at my partner's expense last week, when he told me that he accidentally hissed at a coworker and had to explain why. He hissed at me in response, of course. As is the custom.ā
āWe have a hand signal for when we want to leave a social situation. Sometimes weāll give it to each other from across the room or if itās too obvious, the person who wants to leave will hold the other persons hand and do the signal inside their palm.Also, we regularly will pick food from a menu while out to dinner based on the knowledge that We will be swapping plates half way through lolā
And of course, many couples reported seeing the occasional jab as a way of saying āI love youā¦dummy.ā
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Ā āOur love language is roasting and insulting each other."Photo credit: Canva
āWe get mean but try to be silly about it, but we KNOW we're joking. It would actually upset our oldest who has autism. He couldn't tell we were joking and we'd need to stop and reassure him. Eventually he got in on the joke and he'd start saying things like āguys! Not in front of my beef stew!ā Or whatever he had or was eating/doing.ā
āOur love language is roasting and insulting each other. We have our own boundaries we donāt ever cross, but the very few times weāve let it slip in front of others theyāre always pretty shocked at how we speak.ā
Others noted how physical intimacy now involved play, laughter, and a certain comfort with what might be considered a tad gross elsewhere. Weāre not talking about sex here, but about the familiarity that comes from being in proximity over a long period of time.
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Ā "It just makes sense if one of us walks near the other to lightly touch them.āPhoto credit: Canva
āFake wrestling before sleeping. We know for a fact I can't overpower him but it's a question of whether my flexibility can beat his strength. I always try to poke his butt with my big toe to defeat him.ā
āWe shower together, and afterwards she rubs lotion on me. It actually started because her sister said men don't know how to lotion, so I told her to show me. It's not sexual really, just quality time together.ā
āA friend of ours pointed out that I had taken a slightly long route through the living room so I could lightly rub my fingertips across my GF's back as I walked by, the friend thought it was odd. I said I just wanted to let my GF know I was thereā¦I have no real answer for it. It just makes sense if one of us walks near the other to lightly touch them.ā
āSheāll spend up to an hour combing my entire body for white heads, black heads, and anything poppable on my skin, popping them. She enjoys it so much that I've had to remind her to slow down as she'll accidentally cut me with her nails.ā
āWe race to slap the other on the ass after sex and declare āgood game.āā
The really sweet stuff came from couples who found little bonding rituals even within the mundane, and those who could actually claim their SO as their BFF. Sure, we might not want a romantic partner to be our end-all, be-all person. But at the same time, time and time again we see that the most successful couples are those who truly are friends.
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Ā "Hubs and I do everything together as a team."Photo credit: Canva
āWe cook a big artichoke for each of us in a pressure cooker and we add butter and lemon and we sit in bed and binge watch TV shows while eating our artichokes in silence. This is kind of our decompression routine that we do after stressful work days or busy weeks. It's really nice.ā
āWe read out loud to each other at night- short stories, magazine articles but usually longer books - historical fiction or even non fiction.ā
āWe have an imaginary roommate whom we blame for all the bad stuff (dishes left in sink, laundry on floor etc) instead of arguing about it with each other.ā
āI was teased recently because hubs and I do everything together as a team. We grocery shop together, if a pipe breaks we work to fix it together, we do housework together. Not as a dependency, we just generally like being around each other and adulting is way more fun together than solo.ā
āI like to grocery shop with my wife. We get chicken nuggets from the hot bar afterwards. šā
But by and large, the most common āshockingā thing that couples did was sleeping in separate beds. Which is kind of wild, given all the research we have indicating that it really does offer plenty of health benefits. If youāre still having reservations, take a peek at some of this anecdotal evidence below.
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Ā āHaving separate bedrooms is such a marriage/partner hack."Photo credit: Canva
āWe do this. Everyone is happier. We sleep better which equates to less crankiness. We will have a āsleep overā on weekends when we don't have to be up for work. We'll also snuggle in the morning if we both are up in time. It's a great set up.ā
āHaving separate bedrooms is such a marriage/partner hack. It also gives you independent space to retreat to, and you get to decorate your own space. We found it does not at all reduce intimacy. In fact it can increase it. But let me tell you. The judgement for this. Damn.ā
Bottom line: everyone is weird. And maybe part of finding love is finding someone who lets you be your weirdest, most authentic self. If you have found that person, congrats, and take comfort in know that when no one is watching, other couples are out there being just as silly and carefree. What a beautiful thing.