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Mom admits the struggle of having a son with a different last name and so many moms feel seen

"It does hurt sometimes."

Mom admits the struggle of having a son with a different last name and so many moms feel seen
Photo by Tamara Bellis on Unsplash
woman in white tank top carrying child in blue shirt

News reporter Kayla Sullivan was wrapping gifts and addressing Christmas cards to her son’s teachers late one night when she decided to share something with her many followers that was different than her usual content.

She’s become famous for doing “news reports” featuring the lighter side of parenting. “Going live” from her home and various day-to-day destinations using household items as props. But in this particular video, she instead shared about feeling sad and embarrassed about having a different last name than her four-year-old son.

The feelings were prompted by needing to write “Alan’s mom” in parenthesis when signing the cards for his teachers.

“I told myself I’d probably delete the [Instagram] story in the morning and regret getting this vulnerable on social media," Sullivan told Parents. "Instead, I woke up to so many people with kind things to say or stories that genuinely offered great advice.”

“About three weeks ago, I was crying and was writing Christmas cards to my son's teachers and feeling really embarrassed because I felt the need to put Allan’s mom in parenthesis because my last name doesn’t match my son’s,” the video begins.

​“I was never married to my son’s father, but I did give my son his last name. I don’t regret that… I just got engaged, and I’m going to be taking his last name. His son has his last name, and I don’t want my son to feel like the oddball out, so we will not be putting our last name on Christmas cards. I don’t want rugs or signs that say our last name because I don’t want my son to feel left out," Sullivan said.

“There are other things that people suggested that I just thought were really beautiful. And I wanted everyone to be part of this conversation, but it was all secretly in my inbox. Other people asked, ‘Can you share the response?’ and this just seemed like the best way to do it. So please comment on this video if you did reach out to me or if you didn’t and you want to say something to make people feel better about this. I know it may sound silly, but a lot of people struggle with not having the same last name as their kid, and it does hurt sometimes, so I just wanted to give people the opportunity to come here and look at these comments and feel less alone because it really helped me. Thank you.”

Sullivan was so moved by the response she made another video to discuss the reaction.

@kaylareporting

Please comment to help others feel less alone! #BlendedFamily #lastname #parenting #singlemom #singledad #singleparent

While you might think—as some of the commenters did—that kids having different names than their moms is becoming less unusual these days. According to a Pew Research study published in 2023, most women still take their spouse’s last name.

“Most women in opposite-sex marriages (79%) say they took their spouse’s last name when they got married. Another 14% kept their last name, and 5% hyphenated both their name and their spouse’s name,” says the study.

Perhaps for this reason, Sullivan’s follow-up video struck a nerve. It received over seven hundred comments on TikTok, where Sullivan has 1.2 million followers, and almost 2500 comments on Instagram, where she has 681 thousand followers.

“As the kid who never had the last name of her parents or her siblings, the most important feeling is belonging. Being someone’s daughter and sister isn’t about sharing a surname; it’s about feeling part of a family and being loved by those people,” wrote kids_and_the_commute on Instagram.

​“Three people in this house. Three last names. It confuses the heck out of people when we travel through the airport, but otherwise, we do like you. Holiday cards say our first names. No door mats with the family name. It all words,” wrote Instagram user mamawildnfree.

"I think the lesson I’ve learned from sharing this feeling is that there is so much good that can come from being honest and not trying to pretend like everything is perfect," Sullivan told Parents. "It’s okay to be embarrassed and to admit that you are struggling with something even though people will tell you not to or say you shouldn’t be.”

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An entrepreneurial Ph.D candidate sheds light on how technology helps her grow her small business

https://www.pitasplanters.com

Pita and David in front of their mobile plant shop

True

If there is a positive connection between mental health and caring for plants, Lupita Ríos is determined to make it her life’s work to share it with the world.

Ríos owns Dallas-based Pita’s Planters, a small business offering handmade planters, vases, art, bouquet preservation. Her love of vegetation can be traced back to where she spent her childhood—in the jungles of Guatemala—but it wasn’t until Ríos began struggling with panic attacks after college that she realized how healing plants can be.

During a particularly anxious period in her life, the only thing that brought her comfort was a plant she’d inherited from a co-worker. “Every day I would come into work and see some new growth or a new little leaf, and I would just feel so excited … it was like this little seed of light for me during a time when I was not feeling much joy,” said Ríos.

Pita in her plant shop https://www.pitasplanters.com

So she did what made sense: she kept growing plants, eventually learning how to create pots from recycled materials. During the pandemic, she and her husband opened a mobile plant store, which allowed her to share her passion with people in the community. What began as a meditative hobby quickly turned into a booming business, and Ríos, who is also working towards a Ph.D in Neuroscience, found herself overwhelmed with the things that come with being a small business owner (like keeping up with voice messages!).

“I learn as I go,” said Ríos, mentioning that one of the rookie decisions she made as a first-time business owner was to list her cell phone number under the business as the official contact number. “I quickly learned that was not a good idea! I got calls from customers left and right because the business grew so quickly.”

A friend suggested leveraging technology to keep Ríos’ sanity intact. She enrolled in Verizon Small Business Digital Ready, a free online program that offers small businesses nationwide access to over 50 expert courses and grant funding opportunities. The program includes resources created by small business owners for small business owners, covering topics such as marketing, financial planning, social media management, and more. For Ríos, this was the answer to juggling school and business without dropping any balls while the business continues to grow.

Taking control of her mobile plan was the first step in streamlining—and leveling up!—the business. Verizon’s My Biz Plan allowed her select and pay for only what she needed the One Talk App allowed her to reclaim her cell phone for personal use, and Verizon Business Assistant, a GenAI-powered text messaging solution , has been an enormous time-saver. Verizon Business’ 2025 State of Small Business Survey revealed 38% of SMBs are currently using AI–Lupita is one of many using it to help. Instead of spending precious time replying to every DM inquiring about the hours of her shop or troubleshooting a repotted plant’s wilting leaves, business owners like Ríos can set up, customize, and train a virtual assistant to field these questions.

“I didn't even realize I needed this in my life, but Verizon was like, we work with a lot of small businesses and we have a lot of tools that help set your business up so that I can focus on the products, on the marketing, on everything else. And I know that Verizon's got me covered in other ways where I don't have to think about it so much. It is so nice to have someone looking out for you and saying, ‘Yeah, you're busy. We got you covered here. We can take care of this."’

Verizon is committed to reaching one million small businesses with the resources they need to be successful by 2030—with over 450,000 small businesses like Pita’s Planters already using Digital Ready to help their businesses thrive.

Pita and David at their brick and mortar shophttps://www.pitasplanters.com

As for Ríos’ plans for after she receives her doctorate in Neuroscience? She wants to become a professor and continue growing her plant business.“Honestly, there’s nothing quite like having someone walk in who says they’ve never owned a plant before,” said Ríos. “Let me start your plant journey…within a few weeks, you’ll have a jungle in your house.”

Do you own a small business? Verizon offers over $1M in small business grants every year! Complete an application for the Verizon Small Business Digital Readyportal between May 1, 2025, and 11:59 pm PT on June 30, 2025, to be eligible for the application process for a $10,000 grant consideration.

Education

Simple '30-second rule' can help you win every conversation, even if you're a little awkward

You only have to remember one thing.

via Canva/Photos

A man and two women having a fun conversation.

There’s no one alive who doesn’t feel some anxiety about making small talk with other people. The difference is that some confront their fears because they know the incredible benefits that it can mean for their social life, romantic prospects, and careers, while some shy away and miss out on many opportunities.

Many people who avoid small talk believe those who excel at it are naturally charismatic or have been blessed with the “gift of gab.” However, many great conversationalists honed their skills and have a set of rules, techniques, and strategies they use when speaking to people, just like how people who do improvisational comedy or acting have a set of rules to follow to put everyone on the same page. Confident, sociable people may make engaging with others look effortless, but that’s because they have a strategy.

conversation, fun office, men and woman, funny conversation, jokes, levityA group of coworkers having a laugh.via Canva/Photos

What is the 30-second rule?

New York Times bestselling author and founder of the Maxwell Institute, John C. Maxwell, had a rule whenever he started a conversation: “Within the first 30 seconds of a conversation, say something encouraging to a person.” This can work in any social or professional situation, for example:

At work:

“Wendy, I heard you did great on yesterday’s conference call.”

“Frank, I hear the clients really love working with you.”

At a party:

“Mohammed, I really loved those pictures you posted on Instagram on your trip to Mexico.”

“Sang, are we going to get some of your incredible barbecue today?”

On a date:

“Thanks for choosing such a great restaurant, it has such a nice ambiance.”

“I really like the way your necklace brings out your eyes.”

date, conversation, laughs, jokes, salads, dinner, restaurant, cafeA man and woman joking on a date.via Canva/Photos

Whether you are complimenting, relaying positive information about the person, or encouraging them, the key is to pump them up and make them feel good about themselves. The 30-second rule fits nicely into Maxwell’s overall view of relationships: “Those who add to us, draw us to them. Those who subtract, cause us to withdraw,” he said.

The key to giving the other person encouragement is to do so genuinely. If you aren’t genuine with your compliments or words of encouragement, your words can have the opposite effect and make the other person feel like you are being condescending.

How does encouragement make people feel?

encouragement, poeple in blue shirts, luaghs, my bad, smiles, supportive peopleA man making a joke with other people in blue shirts.via Canva/Photos

Studies have shown that when people hear words of encouragement, they feel good and have a burst of energy. Psychologist Henry H. Goddard studied tired children and found that they had a burst of energy when he said something encouraging to them. But when he said something negative, they became even more tired.

Ultimately, a direct connection exists between being likeable and being genuinely interested in other people. William King said, “A gossip is one who talks to you about other people. A bore is one who talks to you about himself. And a brilliant conversationalist is one who talks to you about yourself.”

Every time you start a new conversation with someone, take the opportunity to share some words of encouragement with the other person, and you’ll be on your way to being seen as a brilliant conversationalist.

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Why Americans pronounce 'street' as 'shtreet.' The unnecessary 'H' we can't stop saying.

Turns out Rs are the real weirdos causing all the trouble.

Photo credit: Canva

Why Americans pronounce 'street' as 'shtreet' or 'schreet'

There are some things Americans will concede are strictly American. One of those things os the pronunciation of certain words. No matter the accent, English words are generally pronounced the same, with a few exceptions. The inflection may be different but the mechanics are the same. This isn't the case for words like "street."

Really, any word that requires the "str" combination somehow gets the "sh" sound thrown in there. It's something that's so normal for Americans we don't hear it, so this may sound made up. But British linguist Dr. Geoff Lindsey breaks down why American speakers pronounce the "str" sound with an "sh." It's like "h" is an invisible letter instead of a silent one. The mispronunciation is not just an American thing though, it's an English speaker thing and doesn't really discriminate based on regional accents.

linguistics; pronunciation; American accent; English accent; word pronunciation; speakingA group of friends at a coffee shop. Photo by Brooke Cagle on Unsplash

It would seem the simplest answer is ease of speaking. There are a lot of words that get hurried or pronounced more like you're speaking in cursive rather than annunciating clear individual words. It's faster and easier to cut words short or start them with less annunciation, especially when casually speaking. But when it comes to the "str" sound, it doesn't seem to matter how slowly you're trying to say the word combination. That sneaky "h" keeps popping up between the "s" and "t." Why is that?

Turns out it has more to do with the letter "r" than any of the other letters. Dr. Lindsey explains, "in languages around the world the 'r' is often a tap of the tongue tip just behind the upper front teeth. But English 'r' turns things upside down, literally upside down from the perspective of the international phonetic alphabet, because this is actually the precise symbol for English 'r' and we can add an extra topping to show that it's often made with the lips rounded."

This rounding of the "r" and lack of contact with the back of the front teeth makes the distance between the "t" and "r" an uncomfortable distance for the tongue to travel. When people who speak English pronounce the letter "r," they pull their tongue back, away from their teeth and the roof of their mouth. It's almost as if the tongue is suspended in the air so it doesn't touch anything else in your mouth. This area that the tongue hangs out in for the letter "r" is the same area we use to make combination sounds like "ch" and "sh."

In a recent TikTok video, a young woman wonders if people have always pronounced "street" like "shtreet" after realizing her friend seemed to be adding the "sh" sound, only to realize she too adds the "sh" sound. In response, Yuval, a content creator who explores multiple different topics, attempts to breakdown why people make the "sh" sound when pronouncing words with the blended consonants "str."

linguistics; pronunciation; American accent; English accent; word pronunciation; speakingWomen sitting on swings. Photo by Bewakoof.com Official on Unsplash

"What this comes down to is the fact that English 'Rs' are what we like to call in linguistics, very weird. You'll notice that your tongue has to make all of these peculiar movements to make that sound. More specifically, your tongue is further back in your mouth when you make an 'r' than it is when you make an 's.' So instead of saying that 's' directly, you pull your tongue back a bit and make an 's h' because the distance between and 's' and and 'r' is too great of a distance for your tongue to travel," Yuval points out.

He continues, "Now, some of you might be sitting there and thinking to yourself wait a minute that can't make any sense because in a word like street, directly between the 's' and the 'r' there's a 't' where your tongue is gonna have to be at the top of your teeth anyways, except no it won't because you're not gonna be saying a 't' at all," arguing that words that have the blended "tr" sound often become the blended "ch" sound when speaking. He then gives several examples.

@yuvaltheterrible Replying to @Thomas Jefferson123 so yes dry January is also alliterative #language #linguistics #english #pronunciation ♬ original sound - Yuval

So why do we say words like "street" and "strong" like "shtreet" and "shtrong?" Distance. That's it. There's no secret deeper than people tend to use what is easiest to communicate efficiently. Cutting off the distance the tongue has to travel between the mid-mouth and the teeth in preparation to go from the "st" sound to the "r" sound is just easier. Some people might call it laziness but others might call it efficiency. Either way, stay shtrong out there, the shtreets are tough.

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Family

Woman who traveled abroad for 2 weeks realizes why she can't marry an American man

"I'm actually embarrassed to talk about this."

via Canva/Photos

A woman holding back her laughter.

One of the biggest topics in parenting these days is the mental and physical drain that comes with being the default parent in a family. The default parent is the one who is first in line when it comes to taking responsibility for parenting duties, whether that means making doctor’s appointments, ensuring the homework is done, or making sure the child has enough socks to make it through the week.

Being the default parent can lead to fatigue and burnout, and the parent can experience incredible anxiety when their attention turns away from the household or family. The situation is even worse when the default parent’s partner only does the bare minimum. Unfortunately, in American society, fathers are often the parents who do just enough to get by and are praised for it.

The notion that men don’t have to pull their equal weight in American family life is so ingrained that when Emma Hughes, a travel nanny with over one year of experience in childcare and family support, visited Sweden for two weeks, she experienced extreme culture shock.


"I've been in Sweden now and I think I've been ruined for American men," the 24-year-old said in a viral Instagram video. "Specifically raising a child with an American man in America, because these Scandinavian dads? Chef's kiss …"

"I'm actually embarrassed to talk about this because all of the observations that I've made have really revealed to me how deeply ingrained [expletive] dads have become like in my brain, and it's just like the default,” she continued.

The notion that fathers only have to do the bare minimum was so ingrained in Hughes’ psyche that she couldn’t understand seeing so many involved fathers in Sweden.

sweden, swedish dad, swedish fathers, soccer, swedish childA dad playing soccer with his child.via Canva/Photos

"When I see more dads pushing their strollers in the park on a Saturday morning than moms, what does my brain think … That's weird, there is something abnormal about that,” Hughes said. “When I see dads at the grocery store with their kids. When I see dads out at restaurants or in public. It is so deeply telling of a lot of subconscious stuff that I have going on in my brain after working with so many families."

She said that even the best dads she's worked with in America would be considered the "Scandinavian bare minimum." She applauded one Swedish father who purchased a new size of diapers for his baby without being told to do so by his partner.

swedes, swedish couple, scandanavia, swedish flag, happy swedesA couple holding up the Swedish flag.via Canva/Photos

"Like I watched a Swedish dad go to the grocery store and come home with like four bags of groceries and in that trip he had bought size two diapers for a baby that had previously been wearing size one and was ready to move into size two but that conversation had not happened between the mom and the dad,” she said.

Given Swedish dads' dedication towards their parenting responsibilities, it’s fair to assume that their partners are much happier and stress-free than those in the States. But what about their kids? Researchers at the United Nations who studied “child well-being in rich countries” found that Swedish fathers also ranked high by their children. The survey asked children in 28 countries if it was easy to talk to their dads, and while 67% of children in the study said their parents were easy to talk to, Swedish fathers scored higher at 72.4%. Meanwhile, the U.S ranked 25, out of 28, at just 59.7%.

sweden, swedish dad, swedish fathers, swedish child, dad reading note, A Swedish dad reading a note. via Canva/Photos

Ultimately, Hughes makes an important point that Scandinavian men have set a high bar for being fathers and that American men need to step up. The positive sign is that in America, the discussion around default parenting has been getting louder and louder, and hopefully, that will prompt more American men and women to set higher expectations so that one day, American men can catch Sweden’s.

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Wellness

‘Cozymaxxing’: The real science behind everyone’s new favorite stress antidote

“It’s like hygge on steroids.”

Photo credit: TikTok (@cozy.games)

Spaces that maximize and prioritize coziness can lead to unbelievable health benefits.

Everyone seems desperate to find something that works for them to live a happier, healthier life, whether competing in 90-minute “space-out competitions” or starting their day at 5:30 am. What are we fighting against, exactly? Chaos. Constant overstimulation. Endless notifications. Economic uncertainty. Burnout at work, burnout at home, and burnout with friends and family. Enter: Cozymaxxing, the latest viral trend sweeping the Internet that asks: What if making our homes as cozy as possible leads to increased mental health?

There is no better feeling than when science confirms your favorite things—delicious cured lox salmon packed with all its glorious fatty acids, swearing like a sailor, and keeping secrets are, in fact, really good for you. And now, you can add cozymaxxing to that list. Scientists are finding that making your space as cozy as humanly possible—effectively, “maxing” it out—can lead to improved health benefits, including lower cortisol levels and better sleep.


cozy, bedroom, warm lighting, blankets, rugIs cozymaxxing the ultimate stress antidote? Science says yes. Photo credit: Canva

Online, cozymaxxing is a choose-your-own adventure trend, with creators showing off their various plush, inches-thick blankets; soft lighting (the trick is to never use overhead bulbs), candles that flicker and smell of your favorite scent (I’m partial to spiced apple toddy, a gift from my mom that’s sitting on my desk right now); and an obligatory mug filled with something nice and warm. For them, it’s not about the furniture you buy or the size of the apartment you live in: cozymaxxing is a state of mind. By using a few tools, like soft lighting and engaging the senses, any moment or space can become “cozy-maxxed,” transforming your current environment into an absolute haven.

As user @cozy.games explains while touring her cozy-maxxed room, “The concept of a cozy hobby room was something I dreamed up years ago when I thought, ‘Hmmm, not quite a craft room, not quite a library, but not a gaming room either!’ As a hobby hoarder, this is the perfect solution! Everything mushed together in the perfect little escape.”

You have to admit, the room looks darn cozy.


There’s a reading nook lit by the gauzy glow of a paper lantern. There's a large circular chair is an especially enticing focal point, with its opulent, white and fluffy blanket, decorative gingham pillow, and a teeny stuffed rabbit (for company). The duo-use gaming and craft center sits up against the window, where she’s set up an ergonomic desk and chair, along with a pastel-hued keyboard and dozens and dozens of different colored pens. “While a lot of gaming happens here,” creator @cozy.games narrates, “this is where I spread out and do a lot of my more artistic, hands-on hobbies.”

The comments are bright with praise: “Your cozy hobby room is a dream!” writes one person. “I would never leave that room,” says another.

Other commenters fantasize about their future cozymaxxing, with one writing, “This is how I plan to fill my kids' rooms once they are grown and out.”

How is cozymaxxing different from hygge?

Getting snuggly and comfortable are not new concepts, and cozymaxxing itself draws on traditions including “nesting” and hygge. However, as a marketing and branding company, Boxwood, points out that although hygge and cozymaxxing share similarities, they are not the same. “Cozymaxxing is not to be confused with the Danish concept of hygge,” they write. “Hygge emphasizes simplified, comfortable atmospheres and a sense of well-being. It involves creating an uncluttered, inviting environment, often through warm lighting, comfortable textiles, and shared moments with loved ones.”


cozy, bed, comfort, blanket, mug Consider cozymaxxing “hygge on steroids.”Photo credit: Canva


However, cozymaxxing is inherently not minimalist. Consider it “hygge on steroids.” Boxwood describes the difference like this: “[Cozymaxxing] has a more maximalist bent that embraces collecting and layering rather than Hygge, which focuses on decluttering and simplifying.”

Cozymaxxing began to take off online on platforms like TikTok and YouTube at the beginning of 2025. Martha Stewart’s website describes cozymaxxing as “the practice of engaging in multiple self-soothing activities that center around your senses and embody the true essence of comfort. There is no right or wrong way to practice cozymaxxing, as long as you’re doing things that bring on feelings of comfort and calm.”

So, why is cozymaxxing having a moment right now?


There are multiple reasons why this intentional and serene approach to life might be so enticing, such as:

  1. Burnout: Ken Fierheller, registered psychotherapist at One Life Counseling & Coaching, tells Healthline, “People are burnt out and looking for ways to create little pockets of peace in their lives.” He continues, “There are a lot of stressors in the world right now, and finding little moments of feeling safe and cozy is a great way to relax and de-stress.”
  2. Rejection of hustle culture: In a world where people are trying to maximize so many other parts of their lives, cozymaxxing rejects the idea that life needs to be “perfected” or that the “grind never stops.” In fact, it’s healthy to take pauses: “People are increasingly rejecting the glorification of busyness and hustle culture, opting instead for self-care and balance,” says Ritika Suk Birah, consultant counseling psychologist and founder of Reflect with Dr. Ritz.
  3. Post-pandemic effects: Now that many of us are embracing life at home in a new way, whether that be efficient work from home set-ups, or novel parenting techniques, cozymaxxing offers a way for people to re-discover the power of their personal spaces. Dr. Suk Birah adds, “Economic stress, climate anxiety, and political instability make people crave a sense of safety and control, and we often find this in cozy, familiar environments.”
  4. Health benefits:VeryWellHealth states cozymaxxing is “a minimum-effort way to manage your mental health and relieve stress.” By making time for yourself and bringing an awareness to comfort and ritual creation, cozymaxxing can have a variety of health benefits, including emotional regulation, improved sleep, and reduced cortisol levels.


How to incorporate cozymaxxing into your own life

Inspired? Well, then it’s time to get cozy. Remember, there is no wrong or “right” way to cozymax; it’s all about finding what works best for you.

  • Create a cozy corner: Like creator @cozy.games, designate a spot in your home for rest, then max out the space out with plush blankets, pillows, and stuffed animals.
  • Turn the lights down: Instead of harsh overhead lighting, opt for softer, dimmer choices like table lamps, string lights, candles, or salt lamps. An essential oil diffuser with a soft light option, like this one from Muji, can make a world of difference.
  • Warm beverage ritual: What’s cozier than having a warm mug in your hand? This may take finessing, but find what brew works for you: try decaffeinated options, like lavender, peppermint, fennel, barley, chrysanthemum, or Sleepytime Tea.
  • Escape into soundscapes: Lure yourself into coziness by playing soft, soothing music in the background, binaural beats, or nature sounds. For an extra-sensory kick, use noise-cancelling headphones.
  • Scent and ambiance are key: Comforting scents like vanilla, sandalwood, or pine can send cues to the body that it’s time to relax.

The best part about cozymaxxing? You don’t need to spend money. “Don’t feel like you have to buy all the things that are shown in those TikTok videos to practice cozymaxxing,” reports licensed mental health counselor Amber Kinney. “What works for one person might not work for another.” So, the next time you’re feeling overwhelmed, try dialing up the vibes with cozymaxxing. Your nervous system might thank you.

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Culture

American woman doesn't want to freak out an Englishman so she turns to the Internet for advice

"If you're on a date, you're together as a couple!"

Canva

A woman looks over at a formal Englishman

We are so often charmed by cultural differences — and why wouldn't we be? We watch the rom-coms where, for example, Hugh Grant flutters his eyelids and says the most impossibly posh, yet humbled compliment to the American woman searching for her "prince." (I get it, I've done it, I'll do it again.)

Hugh Grant, British Man, romantic leading manHugh Grant is charming.Giphy

But there are times that we get into sticky situations, either based on unfounded stereotypes or simple confusion. We risk the success of a relationship by ignoring some of the small (and large) contrasts in cultural dating traditions.

One woman on Reddit was not willing to chance it when it came to her potential English beau. She reached out to the subreddit community r/AskMen, with the headline, "Differences in dating culture between the US and UK?" She wrote,

"A couple of weeks ago, I (an American girl) met an English guy here in the States. I've heard of various cultural differences, but wanted to get some honest opinions. I'm not talking about changing myself, just trying to avoid saying/doing something completely off-putting without realizing it. What are some things I should be aware of when interacting with him?"

- An American and Brit discuss dating normswww.youtube.com

Her fellow Redditors did not disappoint. In fact, quite a few threads are dedicated to this very topic. In this one, a British man got right to the point, which was that some (not all, of course) Brits may assume a relationship is locked down before the American might.

"I'm a British guy. I think the biggest difference is that exclusivity is assumed over here if you're going out with someone, which seems quite different to how some Americans act. Then like others say, there's probably less 'alphaism', although confidence is still a key factor for guys."

A British woman also enters the chat, adding that, as an American, she best not leave her wallet at home.

"I'm British... I think it's much more common to split the bill on dates in the UK. There isn't an assumption that the man pays at all." (I have personally had a very different experience with this, so again it's some — not all.)

She also notes, similarly to the British man, that while Americans might remain with the status "It's Complicated" for longer on Tinder, the Brits often switch right to "In a relationship." She shares,

"Also, Brits don't date multiple people simultaneously. If you're on a date, you're together as a couple already. To be honest, the idea of dating as practised in the US just seems so complicated to me!"

relationship status, love, dating, gif, relationship, it's complicatedAn animated dog makes a love declaration. Giphy I Love You GIF by Chippy the dog

Another common theme among the armchair Redditors? In the courting stages, British men seem a bit more casual, often preferring to have a pint with their friends and then moseying over to say hi at the end of the night. One commenter writes,

"Maybe it's a little less formalised over here, and we're a little more likely to drink casually. Nothing crazy though. From that I'd say perhaps expect him to be a little more casual and maybe not take you to the fanciest restaurant or something."

After this same man (who is also British) politely, adorably apologized a few times for seeming to generalize, he adds,

"I found that American guys were a little more into being seen as 'the man' than guys over here. Less of a show is put on. Generally it's easier to do well with women in the UK if you're friendlier, self-deprecating, charming, silly (plus that's more how we are with everyone). The pressure to be the 'alpha' male is far less prevalent (although it does exist in certain circles)."

After a few people agree on the "Alpha" comment, the discussion shifts over to sneakers. This American shoes in,

"Except sneakers. American who grew up in London here. Every American I saw when I lived there always wore the most unflattering and obnoxious sneakers."

shoes, sneakers, American men, fashion, outiftsSomeone walks in sneakers down a street.Giphy Slamdunk Anime Aesthetic GIF by animatr

Which is met with,

"Well, if the issue is about dress and fashion sense, by and large Europeans knock Americans into a cocked hat. No one else really wears sneakers for anything except playing sports. To do so makes one look like a kid instead of an adult. They also don't tuck polo shirts into the belts and mostly don't wear Dockers at all."

Bottom line, and again this obviously doesn't apply to everyone—but things this American woman might expect from her British suitor? They're officially together after two dates, he might not pay for dinner, and he will never, ever be seen in Dockers.

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